From Home to Fairway: How Golf, Village Support & Vulnerability Shape Better Dads

In this episode of the Just My Baby Daddy Podcast, AJ Adams sits down with Russ Green—founder/co–executive director behind the HBCU Golf Tournament—for an unfiltered conversation about modern fatherhood.

They dig into:

• Raising individuals: being present, patient, and parenting each child differently
• Co-parenting after divorce: transparency, accountability, and keeping the family bond intact
• Village support: aunties, grandparents, partners, and why no parent truly does this alone
• Golf as connection & healing: quality time with kids, life lessons on the course, and reclaiming space in a sport with deep cultural history
• Pandemic parenting: one-on-one “date nights,” cooking together, board games, hikes, and building trust
• Masculinity & emotions: giving kids permission to see dad’s full emotional range
• Legacy: not ego—raising decent, loving humans who serve others

Russ also shares the mission of Bison Impact Group and how the HBCU Golf Tournament, BIG Boot Camp, and Soulful Sundays introduce Black families—especially women and beginners—to the game while building community wellness.

👂 Listen for real stories, practical co-parenting tools, and dad wisdom you can use this week.

👍 If this helped, like, comment, and subscribe for more real talk on fatherhood, co-parenting, and breaking stereotypes.

01:30 What fatherhood means: presence, authenticity, accountability
 03:10 Raising four kids as individuals
 05:58 Healing from a tough father–son past
 08:34 Co-parenting dynamics & divorce impact on kids
 12:41 Holding space for kids’ emotions
 17:35 Pandemic bonding: cooking, hikes, one-on-ones
 20:52 Why golf works for dads & kids
 22:45 Golf, culture, and reclaiming space
 27:58 Passing golf to the next generation
 33:42 A perfect “foursome”: siblings, legacy, life lessons
 35:46 Father’s Day/Juneteenth golf & community groups
 40:04 The village: partner, sister, mom, co-parent
 43:05 Legacy redefined: service, love, abundance
 44:43 Where to find Russ & program info

Transcript

AJ Adams (00:10)
Welcome to another episode of Just My Baby Daddy Podcast. It's your favorite Baby Daddy AJ. And today we're going to get into a topic that, you know, if you've been following me on social media, it's a topic that I've really gotten into within the past two years. I'm not good at it. So, which is golf, right? And I love golf because I feel like golf is a really become a family sport that I can do because I'm never going to be running around playing basketball with Jetty anymore. this, these days are done.

I can do it a little bit, but I'm not gonna be honest with everybody. I'm scared to jump. Like I'm scared to jump because if you hear me like move around and everything you ever been around me when I squat down my knees crack, my ankles move, my shoulders are bad. So like if I land I feel like I'm gonna land and I'm gonna break something. So I feel like golf is perfect for me and for that I'm gonna have my man Mr. Russ Green. President. Is it president and founder?

Russ Green (01:06)
Founder, co-executive director, yeah, any title. HNIC.

AJ Adams (01:10)
The man, put it like this, the man

behind the HBCU golf tournament, Mr. Russ Green. Appreciate you for being on the show, fella.

Russ Green (01:19)
Absolutely, brother. Thanks for having me. It's an honor. You know what I'm saying? I appreciate you reaching out. Would love to spread the good word about the gospel of golf and community wellness.

AJ Adams (01:30)
Yeah, but while we're gonna get into golf, this show is all about fatherhood, right? And so we're gonna start you off the same way we start off all of our guests. What does being a father mean to you?

Russ Green (01:35)
Yeah.

Transparency and authenticity, radical acceptance and accountability. I think that's the main thing. A lot of what you think about what you'll become as a father is most of your own things that you're trying to correct from your experience with your dad or things that you want to do over or things that you.

admire about your father that you're trying to enact in your own life and your children's life. But what you realize very quickly is you're raising individuals and they may not have the same experience as you do. So you really just it's really just about being present and being available for them and being a vessel, a custodian, a coach, a mentor, a good listener, you know what mean? A counselor, a nurturer, you know, when you are

I'm not sure what your situation is, but I'm a co-parent. So when you're living in separate households, sometimes you have two different philosophies about how you raise children. And the kids go back and forth. And that can be a lot for the children. It provide a lot of overwhelm. So a lot of it's just being understanding and patient and recognizing that some kids don't want you to be the cool dad. They need you to be the dad that's got his together. Or for the other kid,

They may want you to just be the dad that plays Nintendo Switch. I'm saying. Tell them to do their homework on time. So it's just showing up moment to moment the best way you can, you know, as your full self.

AJ Adams (03:04)
When you said raising individuals, that means more than one child. So how many children for the audience?

Russ Green (03:10)
Yeah, I have four children. My oldest is 18. Then they stares up down 16, 12 and 10. I love them. Love them all in their own special ways as who they are. you know, it's a gaggle of kids. It's more than enough. It keeps my hands full.

AJ Adams (03:28)
Yeah, so that 18 and 10, that age gap, I'm in that same boat with, well, mine's gonna be 19 and 10, I think. Yeah, well, I'm having eight, no, well, they know we're close right now. One is 10 and one is 11. I got 10, 11, and two. So I got a long way to go. I'm still in the thick of the nonsense, as I like to call it. I'm very much in the thick of the nonsense.

Russ Green (03:38)
Congrats.

wow, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, to your ears, terrorist.

AJ Adams (03:58)
my gosh,

like I had to put it to sleep before I could even start this. Like it was, and it was a lot. I mean, it's a, it is a whole, it is a whole thing. So when you talk about you as your journey as a father, where do you get your parenting skills from? Like who would you say your major influence was as a father?

Russ Green (04:15)
Making it up as I go along. Yeah, I don't know. A lot of it is watching my peers who I think are great dads. A couple of my best friends are really present in their kids' lives, and they're involved with everything they do, and they're those parents that talk about their children incessantly, about all their accomplishments or all their foibles. They're just very, like I said, transparent about how much is required of them.

You know for each child and the kids they have to worry about and because they don't and the way that they show up the way they celebrate them so a lot of that is just like emulation, which I don't think is different from a lot of people we kind of emulate, you know who we admire. But I would say most of my journey as a father when I started was trying to not be my dad and that's a terrible way to try to try to parent because it's not about the kids. It's about yourself and you project in and you know kind of forecasting like.

know, type of kid they'll be based on, you know, your relationship with your dad. And my relationship with my dad was largely tumultuous. So, you know, that wasn't in the early part of my father, that wasn't fair to my kids. You know what mean? But a lot of like my journey to like heal and recovery, recover from like what my experience with my dad is, I think it's really what made me the dad I am. You know, I would say I'm part, part George Carlin and part...

people are flexible, you know what saying?

AJ Adams (05:42)
Okay, so let me ask you this with that relationship with your dad, did that make you want to have children and start your own family so you can create your own type of bond or relationship or does that turn you off to the point where like kids ain't really something that I want to do.

Russ Green (05:58)
No, I've always loved children. I've always wanted to be a dad. You know, I wanted to be a father more than I wanted to be a husband.

AJ Adams (06:04)
Yeah. Listen, I don't mean to cut you off a lot. You're not, you are not alone. You said a lot with that. And I think that needs to be stated more like people don't say that out loud. And it's not, and it's not the right way we supposed to do things, but it's just the truth. Like I know a lot of, a lot of women may like dream of both. Like they dream of like the wedding and the mom, but like, I'm like you, I always wanted to be a dad.

I never really thought about being a husband though. Never thought about that part.

Russ Green (06:35)
Yeah,

I think that a lot of us recognize, just like you said, people who think about the wedding. The wedding has nothing to do with your marriage or the sacrifice that a marriage requires. Or even a wedding is a moment. It's like one day or perhaps a weekend, whereas a marriage can last a lifetime. And over a lifetime, you become several different people. You're constantly growing and evolving.

The person that you love today may not be that same person in seven years, you know, in 10 years, in 20, 40 years. And then, you know, all sorts of things happen to you when you're in your 40s. Like I lost my father six years ago. The person I was six years ago is nowhere near the person I am today. A lot of that was like dealing with the grief of losing my dad, you know, as painful as our relationship was. So yeah, man, I mean, I don't know. I think that

Ultimately, reason I was so excited about being a dad is recognizing that's the one relationship that all you really want is the best for them. You don't really want anything from them. That's the only place that you'll show up when you're completely selfless. You know what I mean? In every other relationship you occupy, maybe outside of a best friend, you're not really asking for anything from them. You just want to show up. You just want to be there.

And I just remember like, you know, I've taught all my kids how to ride a bike, you know, the proper way to swing, you know, how to read, you what saying? Like things that I think are critical. you know, I just like, I loved seeing like children develop and like be little sponges and like form their own opinions about things and their personalities. Like, I'm not, being a dad is just a dope of It's exhausting, but it's also dope.

AJ Adams (08:22)
Hmm

It's very very much so exhausting and you said your co-parent so are they all with the same mom and if not How do you make sure you foster their relationship? with each other

Russ Green (08:34)
Yeah,

you know, my co-parent was my college sweetheart. I'm an alpha. She was an aka we met when we were 21 and 20 years old, you know, when we were effectively children. We married like maybe what six years later, started having kids like six years after that. So, you know, she's been in my life more. She's been in my life most of my life at this point.

So, you know, divorce is hard on everybody. And, you know, we went through our struggles and challenges trying to find, you know, appropriate ways to communicate the whole like family, family counseling and marriage counseling and all this stuff. Really trying to develop those tools and skills to be able to negotiate without, you know, bringing weapons to the negotiation. But I would say, you know, a lot of, a lot of

think what people have to experience when they divorce and they have to still be with each other's lives is just reaching some form of understanding about how we're going to show up. What are we going to facilitate the children in our conversations? Are we going to talk about life? Are we still going to be friends? And I think a lot of that stuff works itself out over time, once that the bitterness and disappointment of ending a relationship.

and watching that relationship change and reassert itself in a different way. You know what mean? Like we both have, you know, other people in our lives, you know, other lovers and, you know, special someones. So, you know, watching that evolution and getting us to a place where we were like, you know, planning birthdays. Like it's like Quincy Jones said, you know what I mean? You're like, you're always going to be in Judge's Lies. You're going to still be doing Christmas together.

Thanksgiving, birthdays, graduations, funerals. That stuff doesn't go away, because ultimately we're a family. And families sometimes have struggles.

AJ Adams (10:21)
So how were you able to transition? How was that with the kids?

Russ Green (10:25)
It was hard, man. It was hard at first because the kids are disappointed. I think they talk about in childhood trauma, divorce is one of the largest factors to traumatic experience in childhood. Because you're seeing something that you thought was permanent, like disassembled and fractured.

So a lot of it was really just letting them know that, you know, regardless of what is going on with me and your mom's relationship, we're both here in your lives, you know, we'll always be in your lives. And, you know, our relationship may not look the same, but we're still a family. And ultimately we want the best for you all. And that may look different in terms of how we get there. So, you know, each kid took it a different way. I would say it was hardest on my two oldest, cause they, you know, we had parented them the longest.

You know, my my youngest was four when we separated, you know, so for her it was like, why do you live here? Why do you live there? And from an oldest, it was just like, daddy, I'm so upset with you, you know, or daddy, I, you know, I don't want you to leave. You know, those are much different conversations. And that's again about transparency, like how you show up for each kid as an individual. And I had to really do a lot of work around.

Holding space for my kids to tell me like how they felt You know about what was happening You know for some of them are required therapy and treatment for others it just required, you know me being accountable You know, I didn't want to be that baby daddy. Even though I hate that term. I didn't want to be that baby daddy. That was like You know promises to show up and doesn't Like, you know, I feel like divorce is breaking your kids heart in a way

and I didn't want to break their hearts again. I'm sure I've broken their hearts in different ways. Like, no, you can't have this video game or this ice cream. But this is really, yeah, like not, you know, I remember, you know, I'm moonlight as a comedian. So, you know, the nights where I, you know, the kids come over for my week and then I'm out the door to go do a show. And I get a call from my son, like daddy, where are at? What time are you getting home?

AJ Adams (12:14)
Yeah, right. But something real, right? And so...

Russ Green (12:33)
You know what mean? I don't like to be here by myself. Those are real conversations I didn't have to have before. And so it's like figuring out all those dynamics.

AJ Adams (12:41)
So let me ask you this, how, because I've spoken on this before that one of the things that really changed me was when my daughter said, you you're going to leave like you always leave. And that just threw me to pieces, right? Emotionally, how did you deal with the fact of your daughter saying or your children saying to you, I don't want you to go, but you understand that they're children. They can't understand everything that's going on, but.

you still have to deal with that and take it. You got to put it on the front and not necessarily a front, but we have to put it on the face because we have to maintain a strong sense and a strong look in front of our children at all times, right? But when they tell you something like that, I know what inside it breaks you a little bit. So how do you deal with that part?

Russ Green (13:32)
So wait, what's the question? Like, what did she say?

AJ Adams (13:33)
When she said that to you, when she was talking about she doesn't want you to leave, emotionally, how did you deal with that?

Russ Green (13:41)
I was, I would say it's worse than a breakup because...

Yeah, I knew her heart was broken. You know, I was talking to my sister about this and she said that, you know, when you're a child, you look at your parents as like gods. You know what mean? And so like when I think about, you know, how our relationship has evolved, you know, when you first put your kids in daycare and you go pick them up after school, you know, they'll knock other children over trying to get to you. You know?

AJ Adams (14:07)
I just

did it today. Just happened today.

Russ Green (14:12)
Or like, I remember like picking up my kids from daycare and they like threw whatever was in their hands, like up in the air.

AJ Adams (14:19)
Huh?

Russ Green (14:19)
You know,

now, you know, sometimes I like tell my daughter I love her and she'll be like, thank you. You know what mean? Like it just depends on the day. That night was very hard because I talked to my co-parent, you know, month before, well, months, several months before. I think I told her that I wanted to end our relationship and maybe like June or July. And then I think I had that conversation with my kids in September. And, you know, we talked about the date I was going to move out.

Um, and so I, you know, we sat them down and I said, it was, it was jacked up, but she was like, this is your decision. So you have to do this on your own. So, you know, sat across from the kids and she sat there and, you know, I told them, you know, that mommy and daddy are not going to be a couple anymore. you know, ending their marriage and daddy will be moving out in about a month, um, to a new place. You know, you guys may have to go to different schools.

you know, this is what this was going to look like. We're thinking about doing, initially we were like, you know, I the kids on the weekends and I was, I think I was like showing extending to like way too much grace in the beginning. and you know, I would only have the kids on the weekends. And I realized like, wait a second, like we're sharing the responsibility of parenting and I want, I wanted these children. So, you know, I'm not, I'm not one of those, like I want the children so that this check looks different. I want, I want to be a dad.

You what I'm I like being a dad, you know, so, you know, in full transparency and vulnerability, that was a really hard conversation. I remember sitting on the bed with her and just holding her, you know, and just telling her, you know, I'm like, you know, would never leave you. I'm not leaving you. You know, I'm ending this relationship with your mother, but, know, this is, you know, I'm going to be in your life for as long as I can.

AJ Adams (15:44)
⁓

Russ Green (16:09)
and I'll find a way to You know help you heal through this, you know, and I remember like that's when Shortly after I moved out. started doing something caught on one-on-ones or you know tell the kids to pick something that they want to do and They know we plan out that whole like day or evening together And it was just about us because what I knew was important because even though like even when I was struggling with Malaysia with my dad When he was outside of the house

or more so outside of the role of husband and father, he was a cool nigga. You know what saying? He liked to drink, he liked to tell jokes and talk shit. He had interesting stories, because he had such a rich background, being in the military, growing up in the South, going to the Midwest and the Great Migration, being the first one in college, being an alpha. He has stories. And so I realized that's where I got to recognize him as an individual. And so I realized it was a real opportunity for my kids to get to know me and me to get to know them in that same way.

you know, figure out, figure out their interest. And so that's where I really focus and buckle down on my like intention. But that first year, because I ended our marriage in 2019. So that next year was COVID. So, so that shit was like, probably real, you know what I mean? But I'm really thankful for it now. I'm grateful for it now because it gave me nothing but time and opportunity to really like dig in and spend quality time with my kids.

AJ Adams (17:21)
Yeah.

You

Russ Green (17:35)
You know, something we started doing right away was cooking. And this is like a G move for all parents out there. If you really want to get to know your kids, cook with them. You teach them a life skill. You learn how they face, how they address process. And they learn whether or not they're patient, the things that they enjoy. You learn how to communicate with them, how you work together collaboratively as a team, what they like to eat.

you know, whether or not they want to wash the dishes. so we, the thing that we did was, during that whole pandemic year, we tried to perfect our pancake recipe from scratch. So, you know, we, we do that, like, and then when you started doing like different recipes, cause you know, we were all cooking as negros during the pandemic. Yeah. So it was that, it was playing a lot of board games or.

AJ Adams (18:07)
okay. Okay.

at home.

Russ Green (18:22)
You know, we went for a lot of hikes because you know, we live near Rock Creek Park. So this real pure quality time. was almost like we were sharecroppers again, you know what I'm And I use that time to really work on my relationship with myself and my relationship with them. I think that's where it all came together. I remember on one, one on one, I went out with my daughter.

think she was 11 at the time. And she said, we went out to, this is back when they started loosening the COVID restrictions. So we both had our cards and we went to this Italian restaurant she picked. You remember that shit? You had to get your permission to flip. So we, you I was still like largely shook, you know what I mean? Cause I refused to like, like my kids get sick. So we would always sit in there.

AJ Adams (18:57)
You gotta have your card to go out. Man, COVID was the time. Yeah, okay, go ahead. I'm sorry.

Russ Green (19:14)
window at the restaurant with the windows open and You know, she's you know little lady and order her meal and we started talking and I remember, you know when you're just Like that trying to impart life lessons dead Versus when you're just having a conversation with them and their personality comes out. started laughing and cracking jokes We were experiencing that and then on the ride home She was on her phone I was like, what's up, baby, you're not being present

And she was saying, I was talking to someone and they said that.

when you have a really special moment, you should record it in your phone. And that really touched me, man. I had me like choking up. And I realized like, you know, we were doing that work. I was doing the work. And that's what a lot, think, parenting really is a lot of repairing relationships really is like doing the work, showing up, even when you're scared, even when you're broken. Like you said something earlier about like trying to be strong all the time. I don't try to be strong all the time.

You know, that shit is that should have wear you out. There's times when it's silly to be strong. You know, there's times when it makes sense to shed a tear. And I want to have the full spectrum of emotions available to me. I don't want to be a one dimensional dad, you know, just that no dad or the angry dad, you know, scary dad. That was my dad. You know, I wanted to be or I want to be someone who's very present, who's very transparent and who shows up as his full self so that my kids have permission to do the same.

AJ Adams (20:41)
mean, my kids know I'm a crier with certain stuff. Well, they see me cry once. But they saw me cry at my grandmother's funeral when when I was, when I would speak there and it freaked them out a little bit. But you know, but yeah, that's, but you do cooking with your kids, but you also golf with your kids.

Russ Green (20:52)
I'm sorry, bro.

Hell yeah golf is the major key because that man golf is so it's a beautiful game because you know, it's the game of life Really, but even if you don't like it Which many many people do not? It's just being outside, you know driving around a cart, you know Trying to get better like it's been that you know, you spend hours on the golf course It's impossible not to get to know somebody out there

know, everybody wears masks, but I would hope, you know, with your children, you're not wearing a mask. With my kids, a lot of it is just getting to know who they are and seeing how they face adversity. You know, like my son.

AJ Adams (21:41)
yeah. yeah. Cause this

is frustrating thing. Is this something that y'all have been, that y'all had always been doing? Or that's something that started with COVID as well, playing golf.

Russ Green (21:51)
No, with the kids it started during COVID. I started playing golf almost 20 years ago, you through the corporate track. I was at Blue's Allen at the time and my mentor, he was like an advisor at the firm. And he mentioned golf and maybe like 10 years before that Tiger had won the Masters. But it was like, that was as interesting to me because he was black, but it wasn't interesting to me because he was a square, you know what saying? He wore like pleated pants. You know what I mean? Like Tiger was adorable.

AJ Adams (22:11)
Yeah. Right.

Ha ha!

Russ Green (22:20)
Yeah. Yeah.

AJ Adams (22:21)
Well, he was blackish at the time. Yeah, yeah. No, but we had to claim him though.

Russ Green (22:26)
It just wasn't that, like in 19, was it 1997, you know, it was like Tiger Woods and Allen Iverson. It was like two different worlds. Yeah.

AJ Adams (22:36)
Oh well yeah, mean it's not even, it's not.

We're not even gonna talk about that. It's not even close. It's AI all day. We were, it's not even, yeah.

Russ Green (22:45)
Right. So it's like,

I'm going to be this like, like penultimate athlete, which one am I more like inclined, you know, and tiger. But also, I think that's like really the cultural conditioning of golf. You know what saying? Like, you know, it's it's a colonial sport, which means it came to the Americas in the 1600s as part of like slavery and imperialism. You know what saying? It was imposed on other nations and indigenous communities.

AJ Adams (22:55)
yeah. it's not even a question.

Russ Green (23:14)
So like, this is against people's will. It was built on courses on top of like indigenous burial grounds and like, you know, enslaved peoples burial grounds and former people's cities. it was, it's a very, it was a very vile sport historically. And they always have tried to keep black people out, but you can't build nothing in this country without black hands. You know, the first golf tee was built by, was created by a black man, a black dentist, you know, from Harvard at that. So for me, it's like,

AJ Adams (23:36)
Mmm.

Russ Green (23:44)
Golf has always been something that we have to reclaim You know what mean? So that's what I wanted to really like give to my kids is like space time and opportunity You know a lot of my healing journey was on the golf course and I wanted the kids to know like This is a place you can come when you need peace You know like when you want to do something fun Of course like those like stories go in your head about like this will give you so much access and you go to any college you want to and you know You always get a good job

But then I turned into like Dame Dash, this is Dame Dash on this shoulder. And Dame Dash was like, no, why you want your kids to go to some white man begging for a job and they can create their own? You know what saying?

AJ Adams (24:24)
So like the job thing is kind of why I started playing golf to be honest and it's the white man golf thing is to be I was at a I was at a like a top golf out here. I was at Rudy's out here and I was out there and I was like man how are all of these people here in the middle of the day like just work just doing this right and then I sat back and I looked at myself and said I am these people.

Russ Green (24:42)
Yes.

Yes.

AJ Adams (24:50)
Like I literally am these people. I'm able to do this. I'm able to, my lifestyle can accommodate me being able to do this. And I'm going to put myself in these circles around the same type of people that can do the stuff that I can do. Like I should not think of myself as these are the golf people. Like no, I'm that people. Like I can, there's nothing they can do that I can't do, except for hit the ball. That part I can't.

I'm not quite doing yet, but outside of that, like, yeah, that was my thing when I got into it.

Russ Green (25:21)
Yeah, I would say that's most people's thing. Because again, that's like how it's marketed to us. It's like this elite athlete sport. But I had the benefit and like the privilege, honestly, buying my first house in Baltimore City. So in Baltimore City, it's a different type of town than in DC. People are more like salt of the earth. So there's this course there called Carroll Park. was built in, I want to say 1924.

and black people had to organize and mobilize and lobby to be able to play on it. But because it's a course in a city that's real, there are folks playing out there in jeans and t-shirts, you know what mean? And hitting that ball like a country mule, you know what saying? So for me, was like all that elitism, like collar shit with those wingtip shoes, that was just dumb to me.

AJ Adams (26:06)
I don't do that part.

Russ Green (26:07)
Like the part of golf that I love is it humbles everybody. It's a great equalizer. And so for me, it's like, it's the only sport where you can like be with it. So you're like competing with somebody and also cheering for them. You know I'm saying? Like when they hit a good shot, you're like, well, God damn, look at that. That was amazing. And for me, like, you know, kids learn stuff so naturally. Like they learn so they're like little sponges. They learn so quick and they don't, they're not as hard on themselves.

AJ Adams (26:24)
Yeah. Yeah.

Russ Green (26:36)
So to see my kids like get good right away was really awesome. They all have like their own unique like swings. My oldest has a very unorthodox swing, but it's effective. It goes into the middle of the fairway. My son, he has a natural like baseball swing, you know, and he gets frustrated when he's not good. My daughter, she's surprised at every good shot she makes, but she's, she's got this, she's got the discipline though. Like she will work at it until she gets it right. In my 16 year old, she don't care. She don't love the game at all.

but she loves to spend time with her daddy. And so my secret with her is like, I go get her a hot dog or get her some candy and then we can just talk for a couple hours.

AJ Adams (27:13)
Yeah. Yeah. So that's, that's my biggest thing about it. Like my son does not like it. I said, okay, I don't care. You're going to be in first T you're going to be taking a lesson. You're going to do all of it because 20 years from now I have my foursome together. Okay. It's me and you three. I don't care what else you have going on in life. I don't care if you got families, they can just go to the side for at least one weekend or they can come too.

Russ Green (27:19)
Thanks.

AJ Adams (27:42)
But that four hours for that one day a year, I just need us. And that's why I wanted to get into it. But you took it from more than just your family, you extended it to the HBCU family. What made you decide to do that?

Russ Green (27:58)
My divorce bro Like so I moved out that art that October right and that first year 2019 when I moved out that first like three-day weekend When I moved into my apartment, you know from my family home that was sad as shit And I was like I am NOT spending another three-day weekend like this So but of course that through that next three-day weekend was Was kovat so we anticipated that you know

Homecoming was gonna be canceled, know, because of all the quarantines and mandatory stay at home orders. And what we recognize is you can't cancel homecoming because you can't isolate people from communities. That's deeply unhealthy. And we need that time. Like HBCU family, like we're all cousins. know, we like to beef when we rival with each other, but at the end of the day, we're all family. We ride hard for all the hundred HBCUs. So at the time like that.

AJ Adams (28:40)
Yeah.

Russ Green (28:51)
I think they opened up golf back in like May of 2020. And that was like, everybody was running to it. And just like everybody else, I was running to it with my fellas and my book club. We were all black dads. called ourselves the golf Negroes. But I recognized I was being another like patriarchal dude and not inviting women out. So I started inviting women out. And it was just like, I was playing with sisters that wore no shoes or just like came out there and

AJ Adams (29:05)
You

Russ Green (29:20)
you know, in like a sundress, you know what I mean? And it just changed the whole feel of the game. And it were far better, like didn't like, you know, the base therapies themselves when they hit a bad shot, they're like, well, I'll just drop another one. And it was just like, just that energy was just so different. And so I realized like, you know, there needs to be more black women on the course. I hated, you know, I bring a woman with me to the course and it'd be, she'd be the only black woman there. Like the only, and I thought that was crazy.

So I talked to the fellows, like, let's plan a tournament. And I was doing a lot of work with this organization Men Stopping Violence, where my therapist was executive director at the time. And I was like, can tie the funding to that organization, and we can tie it to my sister's place in DC. And we raised like $4,000 in like three weeks and had...

I think over 80 people there. And then next year we raised like 10 times as much. And so for me, it was really just creating community-based programs in the interest of community wellness. Intimate partner violence and domestic violence is a problem that we can solve because we're the people perpetrating it. It's not like other men are storming into our houses, beating up women and cussing them out. That's us.

AJ Adams (30:28)
Yeah, right. You're

right.

Russ Green (30:30)
And so for me having a history of abuse, know, having been abused in childhood and then becoming abusive as an adult in my own relationships, you know, I know I had a lot of work to do and I had been doing that work over years through therapy and treatment and atonement and acknowledgement and through, and group and just all sorts of spaces, you know, where people go for healing and a lot of what I think faces men who

Our perpetrators of violence is this fear and shame of being exposed and being like cast out. Men are very, very tribal people. We are very, tribal people. And what I recognize as I started to tell my story is it gave other people license to tell their stories and see themselves in that story. And it also gave them license to heal, like permission to do better.

What I thought was gonna be me being very much like isolated from my community Became people like opening their arms to me and so I wanted that for everybody else like, you know We don't have to live in silence and shame. That's what we all learned in the pandemic You know, we suffer in isolation and so, you know golf became a real space to bring people together and also like I thought what's so groundbreaking about golf is like Because it's so hard

AJ Adams (31:34)
⁓

Russ Green (31:44)
and because it humbles everybody and because it breaks you down, it's almost impossible to be fake after you play a round of golf. And so that space is really like awesome to build a relationship. And I thought it was just really, if nothing else, Black people deserve a space to gather together in community. And that's what it really is for me.

AJ Adams (32:03)
Yeah, I totally, totally agree. I totally agree. Because that's one thing I do enjoy is getting together with my friends. And like you say, more women on the course. My home girl that I go with is about maybe 15 or 20 strokes better than me. And we start at the same time. It's not funny. It's really fucking frustrating, to be honest. If I'm being honest with you, I feel like she needs to change her t's. It's not fair. It's really not fair.

Russ Green (32:17)
Yeah.

Yeah.

AJ Adams (32:29)
It's either

that or I'm gonna change my tease and start hitting from the woman's tease because I'm not liking it. I don't like it at all.

Russ Green (32:37)
Well, even like take the patriarchy out of it. It's called the forward tease. You know what saying? Like for me, a lot of what we recognize, you know, especially men when we play the game is ego. Like that's what we're really trying to confront out there is our ego. You know, some of the best rounds ever played was from the forward tease. Cause you take the edge off. You know what saying? Like, I don't need this driver. You know what saying? If I'm not accurate with my, with my irons, you know what saying?

AJ Adams (32:54)
Well, yeah.

That's why I don't play from tips. You won't catch me there. I can barely get out the T-Bots as it is. I can barely get out the T-Bots as it is.

Russ Green (33:06)
Hahaha!

No, you was all right.

You was all right when we played a slide go man. I don't know why you're trying to be humble on this.

AJ Adams (33:16)
Cause

that was one shot. was it. Everybody hit one shot out the first T-box and never did anything else again. So with your kids getting into it, is it something that that y'all talked about like, Hey, this is important that we want to continue because as they progress and they stop being under necessarily your wing, they're going to start going into their own life. Is it something that you would like to continue with them ongoing or how is that?

Russ Green (33:42)
Yeah, I would say selfishly, know golf is one of those sports you can play whether you're eight or eighty You know i'm saying so selfishly like um, I would uh want to play with my kids You know until my last days You know what mean? Um But what I recognize is you know, they have to want to do kids have to want to do something To excel at it like they have to have one it on their own So, you know three of my kids Actually two of my babies. It's no question if I if I mentioned golf they're going

My other, my son, you know, he can take it or leave it. It's gotta be the right scenario. Like I, like that other video I posted to him, like that's really his, his truth. His truth is if you get him breakfast and he plays well, he has a time of his life. But if you don't do those things, if those things don't happen, then it's, it's going to be a mess for the rest of the day. Yeah. ⁓ if nothing else.

AJ Adams (34:31)
I hate it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Russ Green (34:37)
This is me being fully the fully transparent is you know I have four children and That's a perfect foursome and I'd want them to have that space for each to have for each other You know when I'm far gone from here, you know a place where they can just you know Play as a team with each other and be outside and connect and bond but if that's not what they want, that's not what they want I think it's a beautiful game to pass on to everybody because

It's a space and time for you to be outside, you know, in a.

to work on yourself, to let things go, to hit a bad shot and get over it. You know what mean? That's what life is. You make your choices, you commit. Sometimes the shit doesn't work out, but you keep moving forward. You know what I'm saying? Next shot.

AJ Adams (35:22)
Even if you gotta go sideways a little bit Work your way through the trees you'll find your way and figure it out You know, ⁓ I'm thinking about I wouldn't mind doing something like for Father's Day next year Like I really I really thought about that like maybe doing some some dwarf related for Father's Day next year something with the podcast like I don't know. I don't know what or where

Russ Green (35:25)
Yeah.

That's it.

AJ Adams (35:46)
But I had sponsors and everything. I thought about it maybe last year. But then Father's Day came and I didn't even have my kids. So that was a wash. But yeah, think next year, next year I'm saying it now. Next year I'm gonna end up doing something. I'm gonna end up doing the golf tournament. A Father's Day golf tournament somewhere in the DC area. That is definitely gonna happen. ⁓

Russ Green (36:06)
Well, let me tell you, Father's Day is the busiest golf day of the year. ⁓

AJ Adams (36:11)
Yeah, I I was told when I

tried it last year. So don't know where it's going to happen, but I could try to find somewhere. ⁓

Russ Green (36:18)
Yeah, ironically,

it's Father's Day and Juneteenth are the two busiest golf days of the year.

AJ Adams (36:24)
Juneteenth is the busy, whoa.

Russ Green (36:26)
As

soon as they made that motherfucker a national holiday. Yeah. You thought they did it for us, bro? Nope.

AJ Adams (36:28)
HAHAHAHA

Yeah, I just

thought about it like yeah, they could not wait. Yeah. Yeah, I might do one the weekend before or after Father's Day, like call it for the dads. know, figure something out. Yeah.

Russ Green (36:35)
Gotcha, Ray. You thought we cared about you?

Yeah. You

know what I would say in the beginning, when we first did our tournament in 2020, a lot of what we did was, you know, with our own ideas. but I would say lean on the groups that are existing. so like that time was a special time in golf because there were so many groups emerging. You know what mean? Like Queens on the green started in that time. Baltimore black horse started that time. ladies golf clubs, city girls, like all of those groups started around the same time.

And it's because like we needed community, we need each other. And that's what's so special about black people is we always seek community. We always seek one another. And my homegirls calls it the way of the Negro. Like we're always looking to heal and to touch and agree. So I would say there's definitely other dads out there looking to do stuff like that. There's a group that I really adore.

and admire they're called the daddy's strollers club.

AJ Adams (37:43)
yeah, they

had something I was gonna do something with them. That was last weekend. But I didn't have my kids. Listen man, I'm gonna tell you, I'm not gonna even lie about it. I am all about all that stuff. I am there a lot. But, when it's weekends I don't have my kids.

Russ Green (37:47)
Yo, they are dead.

AJ Adams (38:00)
Trying to catch me at a dad event, Unless I'm talking or something, man, just like popping up. I go to a Little League football game for my homeboys kids or stuff like that. But just me going to just be around a bunch of dads and kids I don't know, that's a...

Russ Green (38:02)
Ha

AJ Adams (38:25)
Hey, that's a hard sell for me. I'll be lying if I ain't faking it like I'll be like, yeah, I'm super dead No, I'm not that I'm not that I would look if I would have had my daughter with me that weekend I would have definitely loved to have gone to the dad's shoulder club event, but Without the vote about my killer just me popping up is just the dad about either none of my kids is like hey I'm here to like no, I'm okay

Russ Green (38:42)
You know.

I just want to be

around your kids. It's not weird at all.

AJ Adams (38:53)
Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, like, no.

I would have had my kids down there, we would have got interviews and all kinds of stuff, asking them, what do you feel like to be a dad, all those questions, like, yeah. But they weren't here. But I do like that group. I really do like that group.

Russ Green (39:06)
No, I'm with you, I'm with you, bro.

when the, you know, the week that I'm off, if you will, you know, I love time with myself and time with the lady I love or time with, you know, my crew, time to tell these jokes, time to work on the foundation. Cause you know, when I have my kids, I mean, like I said, it's exhausting, bro. Like, you know, I gotta run four different kids at four different schools. You know what I mean? I gotta, you know, make sure they're all doing their homework, getting all their activities like.

cooking, you know, we cook 80, 90 % of the meals, you know what mean? So cooking all the meals and like making sure that, you know, they actually done the things they told me they were gonna do, you know what mean? And then waking up at 5 a.m. and doing it all over again, like that's.

It's exhausting.

AJ Adams (39:50)
Well,

got two more things before I get you out of here. There's two questions. One, you talk about those tasks that you're doing. How much help and support has it been knowing that you now have a partner to help you with that?

Russ Green (40:04)
What do you mean have a partner like the lady I love Well, I am blessed to have a really wonderful woman in my life she does not want any children She does not want to get married. She does not want to you know live together So it's it's really like a Blessing but she loves children so much. She was an educator for years And she was a school counselor as well

AJ Adams (40:07)
Yeah.

down.

Russ Green (40:29)
And so she really like.

cars out time on the calendar for special events with the kids. Like this Monday, she's already got plans for the children. know what mean? Like last summer in August, I had comedy shows that whole weekend and we were supposed to fly out to Cali. So she flew my kids out to Cali, know, to my brother's house, you know, without me. So she's, you know, it's a blessing to have someone like that in your life. You know what I mean? But also I would say, and I know you know this,

My village is really strong. my, you know, the black auntie crew, I would, I could not do this without my sister. You know, my sister is, she is Wonder Woman when it comes to these, these kids, like her niblings. She shows up for them all the time. She spoils them, riding. She talks to them as if they're like other adults. And she's like fully vested in her lies and texting them up all in their social media and make sure their like hair is on point when I didn't know how to do a two strand twist or a flat twist. You know, she was getting me together while getting them together.

AJ Adams (41:21)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Russ Green (41:30)
You know my mom their grandmother their GG. She's awesome You know there, you know, they have a great mom who wants to do everything with them She she wants them to all to be their best friends. So and they had you know, her sister their auntie is really great They're always over to cousin's house. I have a really strong village So it would be impossible to do that, know without that I couldn't imagine like I would never call myself a single parent because I you know, I just

That's just not my reality. I'm not doing this alone. But my heart goes out to all single parents, because I've seen what that's like. My cousin went through that. She had a dude in her life, and then she had a baby, and then that dude moved to Namibia. You know what saying? So that shit is hard, and I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Because kids, especially in this culture, I think is really fucked up, is that they try to convince you you're supposed to raise kids alone.

AJ Adams (42:21)
Mmm.

Russ Green (42:22)
But this country

is very focused on individualism, but that's not our culture. Our culture is of community. I remember going to my friend's house on a bike. My kids don't do that. We lost that. thought that, yeah, that part is weird. my parents talk about everybody in the neighborhood could whoop their ass if they cut up. That's because we were raised in a culture of community. You know I'm saying? We were accountable.

AJ Adams (42:35)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Russ Green (42:50)
and everybody was accountable to you being the best that you could be, because we really invested in the future generations. And so I don't want to see that lost. And so I definitely want acknowledge the people in my village to help me raise these children.

AJ Adams (43:02)
Okay, and one more thing to get you, before we get you out of here. Now you talked about how when you're gone, you would love for the kids to continue on with their foursome even though you're not around. But before we get to that point, while you're still here, I wanna know what would you want your legacy as a father to be?

Russ Green (43:05)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

legacy.

I don't know. I don't know that I think about legacy, because I think that's ego. What I want for my kids is to live healthy, abundant, joyful lives, and for them to be decent human beings who are really invested in the service of others, because that's why we're here. We're here to help each other. And if I can impart all the wisdom

and guidance and knowledge that I have while I'm here to them. That's what I guess in terms of a legacy I would want. I want to teach them life skills and I want them to feel not only capable of handling themselves in situations, but also recognize when they need to ask for help and support and not being too proud.

I want them to be very loving and open, genuine people and live in fully authentic lives. I want them to trust and believe in the abundance of the universe. And I want them to be rooted and grounded, but also want them to know that they are of the stars and constellations. They are far beyond this finite space we call our worlds. We're connected to all things. I want them to be...

be all they can be. And I don't know if that has to do with my legacy, but if they got that from me, then so be it. I want them enjoy the time they have in this earthly vessel, on this plane. And I want them to, when they think about me, want them to think about me finally.

AJ Adams (44:27)
Yeah.

That's a great way to put it. That is a great way to put it. You want to be third finally. I mean, who doesn't? All that's important. That's very important. Hey man, again, so if you can, you can give out your social media handles and everything about the golf tournament if you want to send that out here now as well.

Russ Green (44:43)
Yeah

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, okay, here's the thing. So Bison Impact Group brings black community to golf to build healthy relationships. And we do that through community-based golf programming. We have three major programs. The first that we're most known for is our HBCU Golf Tournament. That's Friday, October 10th at Neewood Golf Course this year. It always brings over 150 black people, HBCU alumni and PWI too. lot of the PWI kids get their feelings hurt, but it's not like that. As long as you are black.

and you want to play golf, you are welcome. All of our programming is designed for Black people that are new to golf, so you don't have to have any experience or equipment to get you all the way together. And we have avenues to get you from that elementary level that you may be at now to elite level, and that's through our big boot camp that's held every Saturday at Lake Presidential Golf Course in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. And on Sundays, we have Soulful Sundays. That's the other thing we're well known for in this region, which is our weekly golf clinic and nine holes outing.

We do that in two locations, Sligo Golf Course in Silver Spring and Langston Golf Course in Northeast DC. We do them at both locations every Sunday at 8 a.m. And also our third program is called Skip Day for kids and caregivers. This is an annual program held in April, is Child Abuse Prevention Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

know, all of our programming is aligned with months, awareness months, because that's where our mission is focused on stopping violence against women and children. So if you want to learn more about our programming or us, you can go to our website, Bison Impact Group, like the HowardBison.org, or go to our Instagram at HBCU Golf Tournament.

AJ Adams (46:32)
And I'm gonna tell you, by the end of this, there's gonna be a lot of people that's gonna be interested in winning the golf.

Russ Green (46:36)
I hope so man. It's a beautiful game

AJ Adams (46:38)
Beautiful game. Frustrating as hell though.

Russ Green (46:40)
When you

coming back out bro, you haven't been around and I'm not gonna call you out of your own pie, but come on.

AJ Adams (46:44)
No, no,

I mean, I've been around. I just haven't been out there at 8 a.m. there. I've been at East Potomac. But I'm in Virginia. That's the thing. I'm in Alexandria. I gotta pass three, four, five good courses to get to the other one.

Russ Green (46:55)
Yeah.

Okay.

Are you near Jefferson Davis?

AJ Adams (47:09)
I passed there to get to where I'm at. Yeah, I'm not far from Jefferson Davis. I'm right by Greendale and I'm right up the street from Pinecrest.

Russ Green (47:19)
Yeah, we're looking at Jefferson Davis because we have a handful of people out in VA in Alexandria. Yeah. Well, you can start it. You want to be on Jefferson Davis campus, captain that is? You going to be there at 8 AM?

AJ Adams (47:24)
Go there. I will be there.

Sure, but don't expect, yeah, just don't expect

me to teach anybody anything.

Russ Green (47:36)
You know, here's the thing. There's something I would say about that. When you go play golf and you're not good, everybody's gonna give you some tips. Everybody. Right, but that's the best thing about golf is that everybody wants to be helpful because it's so fucking hard. And so I would say to everybody out there who wants to be great at golf, just get some lessons. Get some lessons and you can do that through our big boot camp with New Age Golf.

AJ Adams (47:43)
Yeah. Be careful who you listen to too.

Russ Green (48:01)
They are the co-director of golf, is Paul Kerner, brilliant brother, graduate of University of Maryland Eastern Shore and current Bowie State Golf Assistant Coach. He's awesome.

AJ Adams (48:10)
⁓

I'm gonna talk to you after this. There's a couple of people I know. We'll talk after this episode is over.

Russ Green (48:14)
Yeah,

he's open. but yeah, I would say like if Jefferson Davis, like if you want to get out there, just let me know, man, because I'm always down to play some golf.

AJ Adams (48:24)
I'll get out there. We'll talk about it right after this is over. Appreciate it.

Russ Green (48:27)
Appreciate

you brother much love, man