Parenting Pressure, Burnout, and Granting Myself Grace

In this episode of the Just My Baby Daddy Podcast, I wanted to slow down and be honest about where I am right now. Fatherhood is the most important role I’ll ever have, but the pressure of trying to do everything for my kids has been taking a toll on me—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

After my 42nd birthday, my body literally shut down. Between co-parenting, work, and trying to keep life moving forward, I realized I was burning myself out. I would do anything for my kids, but in the process I started to forget to take care of myself. This conversation is my way of acknowledging that truth, and giving myself permission to step back, breathe, and grant myself some grace.

The podcast isn’t ending, but I am taking a short break to get myself together. I owe that to myself, and I owe it to my kids. Because I can’t be the father they need if I’m running on empty.

If you’re a dad who feels that pressure too, I hope this episode reminds you that you’re not alone.

#ParentingPressure #DadBurnout #JustMyBabyDaddyPodcast #YourFavoriteBabyDaddy #FatherhoodUnfiltered

Transcript

Welcome to another episode of Just My Baby Daddy Podcast. It's your favorite baby daddy, And today we're gonna give an update of like, where the hell have you been? I mean, is the podcast page has been kind of dead. We ain't had a podcast in what, one, two weeks. Like I've had amazing guests. I put up maybe one, two clips of them a week. Like what's going on? What was the production? Like what, this is not what we're used to. And that's, and that's.

Kind of the same thing I say to myself, like, I'm not the way I used to, or I'm not feeling the way I normally do. ⁓ And so, I guess I'll bring that here to the podcast. So I won't get into absolutely everything. I know a lot of people that listen to this know me personally, so they know.

Exactly what I'm talking about when I say like there's certain situations that that I'm going through that's a constant, you know persistent situation that's involving my children that's That's draining a lot like It's draining a lot out of me. ⁓ I ain't gonna lie like it is it is exhausting it is ⁓ But you gotta get up every day put a put a smile on your face and go to work

go to work, put a smile on your face and see the children. When you see the children, put a smile on your face and see people that you might not be in the best of terms with with your children because of your children. you like, you gotta suck it up. You gotta do it, right? And you know, it's crazy because I started looking at myself, especially

like last week. So my birthday, my birthday was on the 23rd. I turned 42. I ain't do nothing. mean, one thing I did do for myself and I guess I'll talk about that too as an update is brought myself a dog, got me a dog for me and the family, things like that. Right. And you know, just everything was going normal for the week. And then, then later in the end of the week on like Friday, my body shut down.

And when I say like my body shut down, like I couldn't, I had a stream headache. I had the chills. I had sweats. Anyway, I was sick. I was sick. I thought I had COVID. I didn't know what was going on. This was the day, you know, this is on a Friday.

After I just got my daughter on that Thursday, she had just came home, just met the dog. Everything, this is Friday, this is supposed to be, you know, my new, the introduction of my new family. I'm getting the older kids together, along with my daughter and the dog. Like this is it, this is life. And like, I don't know if it's the stresses of it that I just tried to hide from myself and try to just.

at like, you know, everything is okay. I'm just pushing through like life is normal. But on Friday, like it kind of sat my ass down. Like not only could I not move, I couldn't even really be there for my daughter in the morning. Like it was a struggle for me to get her dress. I had to take the dog out to walk. I had to do all of that normal stuff that I would still have to do, but like exhausted.

Couldn't move my neck from side to side. Couldn't barely move my arms. Like it was, it was ridiculous. But I ended up getting her to daycare, trying to, didn't have to work like I normally work. Do the stuff with the dog like I normally do the stuff with the dog during the day. And like, man, hope nobody's watching my job. I was kind of dozing off a little bit during meetings at work. Cause my body just like, just like shut down. And I had to tell,

had to tell the oldest kid's mom that, you know, I can't get the kids this weekend. Had to tell the youngest kid's mom to come and get the kids. like that broke me to pieces probably even more than me being sick. And it made me realize that like I'm probably really putting a lot of pressure and probably trying to do too much at one time. I...

I try my best to just like, just be a good dad, right?

As you can tell, I wasn't even totally prepped for this. I got phone ringing and everything. Glad that rain, though, because it did stop me from getting too emotional. I tried my best to, you know, just be a good dad, be there, do all I can for my children. I say I would do any and everything for my children, right? Like I would...

I would kill for my kids. I would kill for my kids. The problem is though, what I realized is trying to do everything for my kids, the person I was killing for my kids, I started to kill myself. And like, that is horrible. And I don't mean like, you know, like I'm just like suicidal or nothing like that. That's not what I mean at all. Not at all by any stretch, but like.

I'm physically exhausting myself to do as much as I could to make sure that I can provide for my children. it seems odd and it seems crazy considering the fact that I don't even have full custody of my children all the time, right? I'm not the one that has them.

Day in day out. Now my youngest I have her for seven days when it's me and her it's just me and her. I have her day in day out but my oldest two I don't have him day in day out but yet it stresses me as if I do because I always put the pressure on myself that if something would have happened to that mom or if if you know anything was to happen they had to live with me I gotta make sure I'm prepared I'm ready it's a reality we're here and

Going through like what I'm going through now, I even put that into overtime, that stress and that pressure of myself making sure that I'm ready, I'm here, I'm prepared, and I have my kids. And to be doing all of that and put that pressure on myself and then at the end, not even know what's gonna happen. Like I don't know if I'm a...

how often my kids ever even be here. Right? It's a lot. it's, I'm at the point where I work extremely, extremely hard, extremely hard. I don't do it for, I don't do it for glitz and glamor. I don't do it for any other reason than to be able to say like, hey, if I could provide this quality of lifestyle for my children.

and be able to keep them in this same general area around me. Like, you know, it's worth it in the end. I don't care what I'm what I'm burning through, you know, financially, physically, it's worth it as long as I can physically be in the area with them. But when you when you're when you're going through that and then you don't know.

if it's even going to be worth not worth it, but if it's even going to result in anything, man, that can take an emotional toll on you. Like that can make you start questioning everything. ⁓ My mind goes crazy. And one thing I can say is going to that doctor again and going in there.

and in there and I'm in there falling asleep on the doctor's table. I'm in there with the chills with under two blankets and then I'm in there and ⁓ something struck me and it's like I got on that scale and that thing said I'm 165 pounds. Now for my height, my age, my weight, my body fat percentage, I am in probably top 10%.

I ain't even bullshitting with you. I'm in the top 10 % of America as far as fitness wise if I were even really caring. But for me, I am a person that usually walks around at 190 pounds. So to see that I've lost like 25 pounds or so without effort is not a good thing, right? And I don't want to see him without effort because I eat healthy. I walk.

exercise like golf stuff like that, but like It is shocking to see and I did not look at myself physically And it's shocking to even see me look as small as I do other people who don't know me or whatever I look great people who know me feel like I look like I'm getting sick Like it's crazy It's crazy. I don't I don't And I need to I need to really

just take some time to get my life in order. And I recognize that.

until I can get my mind and my emotions together. I'm not being healthy. It's not gonna be a healthy podcast. I'm gonna be a healthy co-parent. I'm gonna be a healthy parent, right? And so I've been taking the time to focus more on that because I have to, right? And this.

This podcast has been very much so a huge source of therapy for me, to be honest, because it really lets you know.

being able to know that you're not going through the stuff that you're going through alone is a huge benefit. mean it's complete strength. A lot of these people that I have on this podcast I just met them on the DM and I mean but we all share similar things and so it's like yo I know people that's overcome worse I'm

I'm at the point now where, yeah, I'm in my car, I'm in tears about my situation with my children, I ought, but look at the car I'm sitting in and I'm doing it in. Whereas before I was crying, sitting in my car that got told because I couldn't afford to get it fixed and I had to be stuck in somewhere deep in the South of Virginia.

It's perspective. It's still, it's still bad, but it could be worse. And then I know that's a little tangent, but those who know, know, know about that time where I got stuck in Emporia, Virginia with a broken down car and boy said to me, you in God's country, you in good hands. And that was not, not quite what I wanted to hear.

One of the main things I really wanted to get across is I'm not ending the show, but I will be taking a break. You will not be seeing the show from me at all in October. Maybe back November, maybe back December, maybe back at the top of the year. I will be back. There's no question. I'm actually setting up things behind the scenes and like...

The actual podcast, like interviews and things like that may slow down a little bit, but I may still be jumping on here, just throwing content out here every now and then, but I'm still gonna be reposting stuff, doing everything else. I still got some community events I'm doing. So just as you can see, my shirt is JNBD, like Just My Baby Daddy. I don't say Just My Baby Daddy podcast no more because it's more than just a podcast to me. I've done more than just...

podcasting off of it. I've spoken at places that I wouldn't have spoken at before. I've talked to different individuals. Like it's a, it's a whole movement within itself and I'm not trying to, I don't need to be like one of these other dad movements out there. I'm lying. I don't want to sound like that, but I am a movement among myself. You know what mean? Like I can join all these other clubs, but you won't find another large one. I mean, it

You won't find another larger one with the same name unless they African. Yeah, so, ⁓ yeah, I'm, just letting everybody know that the podcast is not over, but I am taking a break. You definitely will not see no more podcasts for the month of October. I may be sketching some guests, but I won't be doing the show and, ⁓ I'll be in touch, man. It's, it's a long road. It's a long road and you know,

To all the dads that have been on the show, appreciate you because you have helped me be able to get to the point of my fatherhood journey that I've gotten to so far. And I'm gonna continue to get there and I'm gonna help other dads continue as well. But right now, something, if I keep doing everything, something's gonna slack. And I'm not gonna slack on my parenting.

And this podcast is too important to me to let that slack too. So instead of letting it slack, I just need to take a step back because I can't do everything at once. would, I would, I would love to be a superhero to my children. I would love to be a superhero to myself, but at the same time, I got to remember to grant myself the grace that I am only a human being and I'm going to make mistakes. I'm not going to do everything right.

But I'm figure it out. I'm gonna try to. I'm gonna keep striving to. Keep striving to be a better parent. Keep striving to be a better co-parent. When the time comes, be a better partner. Be a better person. I mean...

take some time and I'm really working on that.

Talk to you all soon.