Spiritual Minimalism: The Path to Joy and Clarity by Shedding the Excess

Have you ever felt the weight of the world, not just on your shoulders but also cluttering your living space? This week, we embark on a purifying quest toward spiritual minimalism, as I open up about my own transformative journey of shedding material excess. We'll journey through stories of a woman whose discovery that a grand home isn't a requisite for joy but rather the love and memories shared within its walls is a testament to the essence of happiness.

Letting go of the past isn't just about discarding items; it's a profound emotional cleanse. I'll walk you through the catharsis of my wardrobe purge, the challenging detachment from yesteryear's fashion, and the refreshment that comes with a self-imposed clothing freeze. It's an intimate exploration of the liberation and clarity that arise when we align our external lives with our internal truths. You will hear examples that illuminate this path, highlighting the profound peace found in prioritizing close relationships over treasured possessions.

As we wrap up this heartening discussion, I invite you to consider the boundless joy that can be unearthed through paring down life's complexities. The journey to a smaller home, less debt, and more meaningful experiences exemplifies the liberation that minimalist living offers. By sharing  experiences of downsizing, we'll reflect on how living with less can indeed mean living with more—more focus, more peace, and more alignment with our deepest values. Join us as we navigate the rewarding venture of spiritual minimalism, and take a step toward a more intentional and fulfilling existence. (see list of books, blogs and social media on this topic below)

Next Sunday's topic:  The Roles Your Angels Play in Your Life

Books & Kindle:
 The Sacred Clutter Clearing Journal, by Denise Linn
Travel Light: Spiritual Minimalism to Live a More Fulfilled Life, by Light Watkins and Sounds True.
Frugal Minimalism and Loving It: 50 Proven Steps to Live a Minimalist Lifestyle, Clear your Clutter and Live with Less, by Kathy Stanton.

Blogs:
SimpleSlowLove.com
TheFunSizedLife.com (Renee's blog)

Social Media:
(Tiktok) @renee.benes (same Renee)
(Tiktok) @happiness_lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:33

Hi, thanks for joining me today. The topic is spiritual minimalism, and first I'd like to say hello to my listeners in Rogersville, tennessee. I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you for tuning in. Week after week I see you out there. Let's jump into this. I'm just going to say for years I have said that minimalism is part of spirituality and I'm going to explain to you what I mean. What is it? What does it mean, how it really can change your life, and I want to make it clear how that can happen.

Speaker 1: 2:09

Part of a spiritual journey is coming to a point where you realize that material things are not fulfilling you. You pull back from the rat race and begin to focus on the aspects of life that truly matter. During this time, many people find themselves getting rid of stuff. I know I did and do, and I'll share that with you later. But people realize that having clutter around them is uncomfortable, it affects them energetically and certainly it makes it difficult to focus, so they might put things away. We turn the light up a bit it's a little dark Donate a bit, keep the house cleaner. As they continue their spiritual journey, they feel moved to reduce the stuff around them even more. It does become stuff not cherished belongings, but just stuff, and for some people they reach a point where they even want a smaller home as well, and I believe that that's part of why the tiny home movement is growing. It's not just about paying less rent, but having lower rent and utility costs does free people up to have more fun in their life, to pursue their interest, save money, take classes, go on retreats, find themselves, live life more fully.

Speaker 1: 3:29

I want to share with you a story that I found. It's on a website I follow, and I'll tell you what that is a little later. It illustrates one person's very powerful experience with spiritual minimalism. Here we go On a website called the Fun Life, renee Benes, who I follow, says she admits that when her family lived in their 3,400 square foot home, she was already kind of a minimalist. She was a minimalist everywhere except in her closet. I can really relate to this. She was not a minimalist at all when it came to her closet, while she was feeling the overwhelm of having a much bigger house to care for. The truth of why Renee started minimalism was so much bigger and she really tells a wonderful story that I hope will help you pause and consider if any of this applies to your life as well.

Speaker 1: 4:28

Let's talk about the excess of reality here. One of the first things that started to hit Renee was the wasted space of their home. She had counted multiple times and, including the beautiful entryway, they had a total of 17 rooms and a massive storage room. Now they have nine rooms and three of them are basically one cozyed up space, so like a great room. Her entire life she had dreamed of having a beautiful, grand home like this. It was everything she'd always fantasized about, especially whenever she saw someone who had a home like that In her mind. People who owned these big houses were further along than her. They were happier and better off, they'd made it, and this was happily ever after. Funny thing about happily ever after is Renee remembers a moment when she was around four or five and her mom was reading her a story before bed and of course, at the end she said and they lived happily ever after, boy, I sure remember hearing stories like that from my childhood too. So Renee asked her mother does that mean they were happy forever after? The idea that once people collected all the things the prince, the man, the home, the castle, the clothing they would forever be happy. It made her so excited she really clung on to that. At this time in Renee's life everything had been pretty great, but she still clung to that idea of reaching this final destination of happiness. After that, life turned into one sucker punch after another. But still some part of Renee believed that happily forever after was still attainable. And the more stressful her life got, the more she wanted that happily ever after.

Speaker 1: 6:22

Renee remembers being a kid when one of her divorced parents were both in the middle of a second divorce and this was when the movie Father of the Bride came out. I remember this. In the movie, steve Martin's character, george Banks, says very passionately this is our house, 24 Maple Drive. Annie was just in grammar school when we bought it. A few years later we had a surprise package our son Matt. I love this house. I love that I taught my kids to ride their bikes in the driveway. I love that I slept with him in tents in the backyard. I love that we carved our initials in the tree out front. This house is warm in the winter, cool in the summer and looks spectacular with Christmas lights. It's a great house. I never want to move, but the thing I think I like best about this house are the voices I hear when I walk through the door. So as a kid with divorced parents and parents divorcing her step-parents, renee heard that quote and all she heard was this house made all these wonderful things possible. So when Renee and her husband would do their own Christmas Eve tradition of driving through neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights the ones that looked like the Banks house in that movie were the ones that really stood out to Renee she would hug her hot cocoa a little tighter, lean in toward her husband and say that's my dream home.

Speaker 1: 7:53

Little did Renee know that a subliminal message had snuck into her brain as a kid and convinced her that this particular style of house meant a happy family. Growing up in a lot of dysfunction, there was nothing Renee wanted more than a happy family and she believed that a house was part of making it happen. A particular type of house. Renee had so many people visiting and all of them would want a tour of her house, and it was these tours she gave that led to a realization that maybe the house wasn't what she wanted. It was funny how, when she moved into a big house, people wanted to get a tour, they got more excited. They looked at her family differently, talked to them with more respect. She didn't like it, but this was the truth.

Speaker 1: 8:43

What Renee quickly came to realize was that she got bored of hearing herself talk about their house. She remembers walking through the main level and then, when she put her hand on the basement door, she felt this terrible feeling of are we still doing this? The enjoyment of showing off her house. Her perceived status was really short lived and it was starting to feel, in her words, gross, boring and excessive. This feeling of excess spilled over into Renee's photography business, where she was continually collecting more and more backdrops and props and feeling this underlying feeling of grossness about all of it, against her word. To top it off, her days as a photographer seemed to quickly feel full of fake smiles and forced togetherness. Once we realized that one aspect of our life isn't true, wow, it's like dominoes. We start seeing more and more, those things start falling over and we see the reality.

Speaker 1: 9:43

Her reality with her work as a photographer was that most of the families were laid back, gracious and loving, but there were too many people screaming at their kids, their husband or wife, all in the name of getting a good photo. Later these families would share their photos on social media with like a live, laugh, love quote, and Renee couldn't help feeling like it was all a lie, much like social media in general, where people show their best part of their life, the best selves, the best aspects of their life. As a mom who's well known to have her own occasional freak out, renee was not trying to say these parents were faking it or they weren't grateful for their family and children, but still it all started to feel fake to her and I'll tell you that is a sign that you are disenchanted with that aspect of your life. You're not passionate about it anymore. It's you're starting to get the nudge to do something else. It's sort of like her clients were saying cheese in front of the camera and then being nasty to each other off camera, and then she felt like she was faking, happily ever after, and she was feeling it on every level. You are, because you're listening to this show, watching it on YouTube.

Speaker 1: 11:02

You're likely someone who allows yourself to be led by your intuition frequently, and in Snatchel it's great, because that's how we are meant to self-guide our lives. Animals exist with much less rushing stress and anxiety than humans do, and that's primarily because they follow their instincts. Just like turtles instinctively flock toward the water and baby birds practice flapping their wings, humans are meant for something. Our instincts want us to show up for this life in some specific way. The trouble is because we are human, we're watching what other humans are doing as an indication of what we should do or what we shouldn't do, and it can really inhibit what we're meant to do. We fill our closets with the latest trends because well, what that's of what everyone else is wearing? We get peer-pressured into drinking, smoking, drugs, binge, watching a TV series. The thinking is, if everyone else is doing it, it's probably what I should be doing too.

Speaker 1: 12:06

But the more you dive into your spiritual journey, your reading books, your reading blogs, your putting what you learn into practice, then the more you start second guessing everything you've ever believed or thought you wanted. We are seeing this happening in a massive way in the world right now. It's noisy and it's uncomfortable, but I am so happy to see it because it means so many millions of people have reached this point and, if you think about it that way, it's really exciting. So if you have a feeling that you were made for more than what you currently are, something different than what you're doing now. That your life is meant to be different, you probably are. Maybe you're sitting in your home right now, and it's a home you've always dreamed of having, and then now you're overwhelmed by the idea that all these thought streams and ideas of a fulfilling life might be coming from a higher source. What you were meant to do was etched into your DNA and yet you've been ignoring it. Why are you ignoring it? Maybe because everyone else was ignoring it and, of course, everyone's been telling you that any big hope or dream you had was unrealistic and impossible. I've been through that a lot too.

Speaker 1: 13:28

They said things like stick to something more solid, more practical. Heck, I got that. When my angels told me to leave the field of mental health, I was at the peak of my career, very well respected, loving my work, and they're like now you got to move across the mountain, you're going to move to Sedona and do your spiritual work full time, and I was not happy about that. But I'm so much happier with my life and my work now. It has been just an absolute joy. So I'm on the other side of one of those and can tell you from experience. It's worth following that kind of guidance, even if you're scared.

Speaker 1: 14:06

The thing is that when you get to this point on your spiritual journey, all of that kind of practicality can leave you feeling like you're drowning. You're just doing what everyone wants you to do, what everyone thinks you should do, what everyone else is doing. It's like you've been gaslit into believing that where you were was where you belonged. But that's really not necessarily true, really very rarely true. Every fiber of your being might fight you on the idea that maybe you really do have a purpose. A small voice inside keeps whispering hope. What if you just tried? What if you attempted living life how you really want to? Things might fall apart, yes, but they kind of already were. So you might as well try. I can tell you that things will come back together in a new, improved way you cannot even imagine. This is where spiritual minimalism really comes into play.

Speaker 1: 15:10

If I had been filling my life up with what everyone else said I needed, I would be an English professor at a university. If I was dressing for everybody else in my life, I'd be sporting conservative outfits and muted shades. You can see that is not me If I was chasing what everyone else said I should go after, I'd be working for a corporation, driving a fancy car and have a house full of the newest electronics, but that's not an alignment with who I am now. Those things just don't excite me. So where to begin? If you want to start with one room and make a big difference, consider heading to your closet or egg closet even like a coat closet is a good place, or a pantry coat closet is easier. My closet was not where I began, but it's a place I revisit twice a year to ensure that it continues to be decluttered and streamlined. It has room to go. It's painful for me. I really do like my clothes.

Speaker 1: 16:11

When I started on my closet, I want to say I immediately grabbed a garbage bag, headed to my closet and I did the most decisive intensity cluttering ever. But that's a lie. That did not happen. I've done it in stages. Because I love my clothes, I removed a third of my clothing from the closet and my shoes and accessories and I gave them away or donated anything that doesn't suit me anymore. Things didn't fit great and items I hadn't worn in a long time. Let's face it my daughter and my sisters get on me because I had quite a bit of clothing from the 80s and 90s. They're like, oh my gosh, yes, styles do roll around again, but what's the likelihood of a cropped pant leopard jumpsuit coming back into style again? Yeah, that's for real. That's not made up. Those things are now gone. All my family will be glad to hear those things are gone.

Speaker 1: 17:11

I only kept the items that made me feel the most comfortable or happy to be in. I'm at an age where comfort is absolutely most is important to style, but those things I gave away, that was an impressive pile and it made me feel really proud of myself that I could let go of that because it is being ready to let go of memories, of hopes, some hopes that are unrealistic. Am I going to lose three dress sizes at this point? Probably not. Get rid of those things. What are you doing? I got rid of the rest and it felt great to have the energy attached to these things that I didn't need anymore, just be out of my home. It also felt really good to see my friends happily go home with an arm load of new clothing that they loved. It was when when Currently I'm in what I call self-imposed clothing freeze and I began this last year.

Speaker 1: 18:09

I don't know how long this will continue, but it feels good and right. For now I do not buy any clothing, shoes, handbags or accessories or jewelry unless something imperative to my core wardrobe wears out. It hasn't happened yet and it's been about nine months, but I'm holding fast and it feels good. Part of it is self-control. Part of it is making myself realize things will never give us what we're looking for. Things will never fill up that void inside. Whatever it is different for all of us. What we're looking for is not in those things. So that is just so important and until you stop accumulating those things you can't realize what it is you're really trying to find and put your energy and time into fulfilling that. If you decide to do something like a clothing freeze, it's okay to swap clothing with someone. You give them a top or a pair of pants. They give you a top and a pair of pants or a pair of pants. As long as your wardrobe is not expanding, it can stay the same and you're still on a freeze.

Speaker 1: 19:19

So I want to get back to Renee's story because I found it so compelling and I'm going to tell her that I'm talking about this episode. I'm hoping to get her on the show because I'm so passionate about what she's passionate about. She says the continual letting go process brought her to an epiphany one day, a moment that would forever change her life. It's the moment where she raised up the stairs to the double doors of her primary bedroom, sat down next to her husband and said let's sell the house. Now think about that. That is huge for a woman who's living in her dream home, the home she has fantasized about since childhood, and she's come to the conclusion that they need to sell the house. That's so brave. So it's not that she thought moving would save them, and she didn't blame all of her problems on the house. It was simply that Renee realized what mattered the most to her the entire time had been her family, having her family with her, and that close family unit that George Banks was really talking about in Family of the Bright was what Renee wanted. It's what she'd always wanted, and it usually is like that we're chasing an emotion or we're chasing security. We're chasing a feeling, we're chasing a situation, not items.

Speaker 1: 20:43

Coming from a repeatedly broken home as a child left Renee desperately wanting a solid family unit and the big house wasn't helping. Her family members were spread further apart than ever before. I grew up in a family of seven and we had some very large houses and I know what she's talking about Like. Sometimes that was good, because I like to read and I liked quiet, but sometimes it was so the house was so big that if you yelled out, nobody could hear you, and so we did spend like I'm in my room and my sisters on another floor of the house and the two two youngest are down in the bottom floor playing with toys and our parents are watching TV, and we're very spread apart. So weekends for Renee were spent catching up on projects, updating the yard or the house, trying to keep everything clean, working extra hours to make sure they could keep affording to live in that big house and still have some money to do something fun.

Speaker 1: 21:43

That hustle of maintaining the house was taking its toll on the entire family. Renee knew they had to at least try life without the big house to see if they might be able to repair what had been broken. What happened was that Renee's family freed up enough income to pay off debt. She had more time to learn how to make passive income online. So no more photography clients, no more yelling. In years, since they moved to a much smaller home, they learned to slow down, take breaks and joy life more. They haven't totally escaped the hustle mindsets they used to live by, but they're close. It takes years for us to get into a hustle mindset and we're not going to just pull ourselves out of it immediately. It takes time. It's a process, with less stuff to maintain to pay for Renee's created work that feels meaningful and fulfilling for her. They've traveled more with their kids, had more experiences and way less financial worries. Doesn't that sound great? Renee's family is no longer trying to keep up with anyone else, let alone the Joneses. They are just focused on living their lives to their absolute best, most fulfilling way they possibly can, and for them it feels amazing. She didn't start minimalism as a way to get more organized or to clean less, but that definitely was part of it. She started eliminating stuff from her life so she could spiritually connect on her inner calling on a deeper level.

Speaker 1: 23:21

I suspect that many of you listening now can relate to this. We can find ourselves in the self-built prison and that means we can break out when we're ready. We put ourselves in, we can get ourselves out. That's the nice thing about accepting personal responsibility for where you are in life right now. You got yourself there. You can get yourself out. It's not that material wealth is a bad thing, but if it's running your life and you find yourself hustling to keep up, then you're living out of alignment. That's not good for you personally or spiritually. So take the time to discover who you are, who you are now, what you really want, need, believe, feel, listen to your intuition, understand your purpose a little more every day. From that space, you can buy things more intentionally. I know now that when I think about buying something, it's never to get the thrill of buying. It's like do I need this? I'll stand there and take some time. Do I need this? How will this function in my home? What will happen if I don't get this? Is this going to impede my life? Not having it? Could I hold out for something I like better? I think about all of those things, and that's buying things more intentionally. When you do that, you're operating from a space of peace and understanding and that, my friend, is true abundance.

Speaker 1: 24:49

I'm going to tell you my personal story with this very short. I divorced in the late 2000s and moved into a 950 square foot home. It was so cute in the pines, but there was no way my possessions were going to fit into that space Impossible. My parents had moved out of state again and downsized considerably, and that really inspired me to do some downsizing of my own. As I was moving to this new house, I began selling things online, and I still do. I donated some as well, and shortly after that I moved again.

Speaker 1: 25:25

It was the beginning of way too many moves and an eight year period exhausting, but every time I moved I would get rid of things. Honestly, I don't understand how I have things left to get rid of 16 years later. Where is it coming from? What I do now is I keep an eye out for things I haven't used in a long time in every drawer, cabinet, closet room of my home. I store them in a box in my garage and when it's full I donate it Easy. This week I took a load of books, dvds and Xbox games I don't even play Xbox to the local library and donated them. They have a whole section of that. I took blankets and food to the homeless coalition and two full car loads to a local donation center of household things that I just I don't need this. Each time I do this, I feel the energy in my home lift. It's palpable, and what I feel as I get rid of these excess things is joy. Every time it's exciting.

Speaker 1: 26:29

I plant downsized to a home about half the size of my current one in about three years. I don't need this much space, I don't want to clean it. I feel better with less things around me. Remember less clutter equals better focus and you'll feel more, more serene, and my serenity is very important to me. It all started for me with one move which coincided with my rapidly progressing spirituality, and at that time I could not see the correlation, but I see it very clearly now.

Speaker 1: 27:02

So if you're feeling irritated at clutter, having a lot of possessions, having this big house, you're likely at a similar point yourself. It's part of your spiritual journey and you are meant to do something about it. When you're bothered, you're being pushed to do something. So in the show notes I will post the titles of some books and blog sites you can use to look into spiritual minimalism further. I got a great book this week and the mail just released on decluttering that I will include in that list, and then we tell you that was an intentional purpose. I don't buy books anymore. I get them at the library. But this one, it's a journal. I had to have it. I trust this episode has illuminated you on the topic of spiritual minimalism and nudged you to start down that path yourself. Tune in next week when the topic is the roles your angels play in your life. In the meantime, may your angels surround you. May your angels protect you every moment, every day of your life. I'll see you next week.