The Sober Experience
Recovery and mental health, spirituality and life. We will be sitting down with people in and out of recovery who have helpful tips and shared experiences to provide better love and understanding on this earth. There will be a wide veriaty of topics discussed and after each interview there will be another reflection episode where I can analyze what we spoke of and what sticks to mind.
The Sober Experience
The Hospital Chronicles: Misunderstandings and Miracles
When life throws a crisis your way, how do you respond? This episode takes you on a raw and emotional journey through an unexpected health challenge as my wife's lupus flare-up brings our lives to a standstill. With her condition spiraling, a routine train ride turns into a terrifying health scare, ushering us into the stark reality of medical misunderstandings and the pressure to advocate fiercely for one another. Join us as we unravel the hurdles of navigating hospitals, tackling the neglect often faced in health care, and discovering the incredible power of love and vulnerability amidst chaos.
Through our heartfelt conversations, we share insights on the importance of self-advocacy, the challenges in confronting health professionals, and the need for compassion during distressing times. This isn't just our story—it's a reflection of everyone's battles in seeking proper care. Discover how adversity can lead to personal growth and a renewed commitment to health and wellness, all while fostering connections within the community.
Prepare for a deep dive into love, resilience, and the intricate web of emotions that bind us. Subscribe, share your thoughts, and be part of the conversation as we spread awareness, share our healing journey, and instill hope in others facing similar challenges. Your voice matters; let's collectively strive for uplifting change and stronger health advocacy.
hey, what up, what up. Welcome back up. Welcome back Sober Experience. You know the deal. Hope you guys are doing well. This is Mars by the Olympians. Yep, yep, what up, everybody, welcome back Sober Experience. Like and subscribe on all podcast platforms. You know the deal.
Speaker 1:Let me shut that down. It's been a few weeks, brother, sister, theyster themster. It has been a few weeks, brother, sister, theyster themster. It has been a mission, lord, but I'm happy to be back. Yeah, let me just give you guys a little bit of an idea of what's been going on in the world of JL Boogie carpet cleaning, motherfucker to the max, dude man. Yeah, it's been a test in the last couple of weeks. So what's been going on?
Speaker 1:Okay, so, as many of you know, I have a lovely, lovely wife who is everything on earth to me, and she actually has. She lives with lupus and she had a lupus flare-up. She's had one for a while I don't know, maybe a couple of months where you know, we've been trying to get it under control and for those of you who don't know what lupus is, it is an autoimmune disease and when it works in your favor, it is absolutely fantastic. I've been with my wife for a long time. And I mean, she had a flare up when we first started dating, but they just thought it was like they, you know whatever. They thought it was like scarlet fever. So the way that the disease works is that your immune system is in overdrive. So when it's in your favor, it is everything on earth. And this whole time my wife has not even caught a sniffle For like 15 years, 14 years, not even like one sniffle, one runny nose, barely nothing. Because her immune system is so strong. She probably didn't even have to get vaccinated, none of that shit. You know what I mean. But when it runs out of things to repel, it can turn on you and that's what it's done, you know. So she's been struggling here and there, whatever, anyway.
Speaker 1:So she was on the train going to school and she just you know I'm'm not gonna say she lost consciousness, but she lost like the consciousness, not conscience or conscious, whatever, brother she didn't know where she was at. Her brain was like shutting off. She basically had symptoms of a stroke and what she explained to me she basically had symptoms of a stroke and what she explained to me like was that she thought this like tracker worker, was like checking her out, you know which is. You know that's par for the course. You know, my wife is H-O-T hot and yeah so, but he actually he was stepping to her because she looked a little bit uh, mushad and um, yeah, she couldn't even. Yeah, she the guy thank god, orange, orange, uh, vest wearing guy. You know, again, the track worker, dude man, there are angels on this earth. This guy came, sat down with her for 45 minutes, kept calling an ambulance, 911, 911. There's somebody here in distress, you know. And she couldn't really walk and she couldn't really talk and she just lost, like, her motor skills, you know. So it was basically like a stroke.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm here in the office chilling and you know, whatever, I get a call from her phone because I'm like yo, I can. Actually I've been texting her. I'm like yo, I could pick you up today from school. And then I get a call like, oh, this is the EMS worker. You know, your wife had some problems in the train. We're taking her to this hospital, and I run over there, you know. So it takes me like an hour from the time I get the phone calls for me to get into the hospital or whatever, and they're on their way there.
Speaker 1:And what can I say? Like, you know, the people at the hospital, they weren't bad, they just wasn't super helpful, they weren't. You know, everybody, I guess, is doing the best they can. It's hard to say that in the moment because you know, yeah, it's just fucking bad. So, sorry, hold on Jesus Christ. Anyway, yeah, I get there and they're like, oh, she's not here. I'm like what are you talking about? I got a phone call from An EMS worker saying they were coming here this is her name.
Speaker 1:And then some fucking lady comes out and I'm like in distress, like yo. And I thought, like yo, somebody fucking with me. Because the day before my cousin, nemo, told me that you know, my other cousin got like a prank call with her daughter's freaking voice you know how they do that scam shit saying like yo, you know this one was in an accident, whatever. And like, yeah, it was like it was like that. So I had that in my head and then I was like, dude, is this like a scam? Is this what's going on, accident, whatever? And like, yeah, it was like it was like that. So I had that in my head and then I was like, dude, is this like a scam. Is this what's going on? And then the lady's like I don't understand why you're yelling. I'm like holy shit, I'm sorry. Do you not deal with people who are in distress as a fucking function of your job, that you don't understand why?
Speaker 1:I'm over here after getting a distressing call from an EMS worker saying my wife is here. Now you're telling me you don't have any record of it and it's been over an hour. I'm sure they're here. They're only going from West four, uh, at the train station, to, um, that hospital. So I'm like 13th and seventh Avenue, it's basically like a glorified treatment release. It's not like an actual hospital. Hospital, I think.
Speaker 1:Anyway, point is so I got a little snippy with her and then I had to say something like look, I'm sorry, but obviously I'm in distress. Look, here's the address word. And then you know the security guard. He like looks at it. I said maybe it's under her maiden name. And then I didn't think about that and look, and of course there it is, because, um, I think one of her ids doesn't have my last name yet I go in and then I go into the room and she's like not there. I'm texting my sister-in-law like yo, here's what's going on. This is where we at you know.
Speaker 1:And then when they bring my wife into the room, man bro, like my heart like broke and sunk at the same time. I was like fuck man, she couldn't walk. I mean, she walked with some help but she looked really bad, like not herself, but she looked really bad, like not herself. And, yeah, man, it hurt to see my wife like that. She was not herself. She couldn't really talk. She talked basically. I don't know if any of you guys have been around somebody who's had a stroke, but that's what she looked like. She didn't have no droopy face or any of that other stuff, but she couldn't. Her motor skills were way down and, um, she spoke with a slur and a stutter at the same time.
Speaker 1:And then, you know, I had this intrusive thought that didn't, I didn't plan to have it, but it just came and it basically just said I said to myself if this is how she is, forever, it's all good. That's my wife, I love her, I'll take care of her for the rest of my life and for the rest of her life, I swear to God. Like you know, that was, like you know, my inner monologue. I basically said dude, you know you love this woman. She's in distress and it's okay, you can handle it, no matter what, anyway. So we're dealing with which is weird.
Speaker 1:There's like some telehealth fucking doctor on the screen who's a PA, not even I mean whatever. I can't be dissing people who went to school and got these degrees, but I can also say that you know, just because somebody is a doctor doesn't mean they know everything, and that's it. They may know more than me, but it doesn't mean they know everything and there may be some things that I know that they don't know and things like that. You know what I'm saying. So you know, my wife's blood sugar was 35 when she got. When they got to her at the train, then they blasted her with some fucking sugar needle or whatever and took her up to like 120 or something or whatever it was, and then within an hour is back down to 70. So the sugar kept crashing, no matter what they gave. So this lady was like yo, blah, blah, blah. Listen, she's pre-diabetic, so this just could be low sugar and whatever.
Speaker 1:And that stuff played into some of. I was like, okay, I know that she's been taking these immunosuppressants for maybe a month or two and they were so strong. We had one doctor who was not, like you know, keeping an eye, regulating the levels and they were so strong that she couldn't even eat. So there was times when she was just. There was one time when she was like, really, you know, caloricoric deficit, which means like you're not eating as much as you should, and she just we had to take her to the hospital just to get an IV bag and some fluids, whatever you know. So point is, is that this lady's talking about low blood sugar, whatever, and I'm like okay, I was like yeah, but in my mind I'm like, yeah, but you guys blasted her with the sugar, so why is it coming back down? I'm listening to, and then this other, this actual doctor, comes in and they're going to have like a conference with me, my wife and the doctor.
Speaker 1:And you know, I'm grateful for the life that I live, the kind of life that I live, and I talk about this shit all the time because, like dude, I put myself. I put myself every day. I put myself every day, every other day at minimum, but at least every day I try as best I can. But at sauna, the sauna, the cold water, swimming, all that shit, all the kettlebell stuff, all the fucking whatever that I torture myself right for an hour, or the you know Peloton, whatever. Shout out to what's this guy's name, alex Toussaint, who has the best, the hardest classes on there. Those are the only ones I fucking take, and all the savage shit that I do to myself.
Speaker 1:So that way, when I need to show up in these moments, dude, I am not in distress and it's shocking, but it wasn't surprising. Like, oh, I've been prepping, you know, like doomsday prepping, for an hour every day. Even the meditation, the meditation is doomsday prepping because meditation, may you know, allows me to make clear, conscious decisions. Um, because, you know, I pause every day for 15 minutes, 20, 25 minutes, and say nothing, do nothing and allow myself to like, really react. Uh, I'm sorry, really respond instead of react. I'm sorry, really respond instead of react.
Speaker 1:So, that being said, doctor's like yo, listen, you know, this looks like a stroke. We can't tell if it's a stroke, but it looks like a stroke. She has symptoms of a stroke, she doesn't have a droopy face, but my opinion is that, you know, this could be some kind of stroke. Right Now I can also say and whatever trouble in my regular life that I'll get into, I don't care. But like my wife and I have been noticing a lot like people our age been having strokes, man Strokes are going around in their 40s, which is like fucking crazy. And we've had a lot of vaccine incidents, you know, like with the, with the COVID shots, like people that we know and then us personally, like side effects, whatever that nobody wants to talk about. So we're like, fuck man, yeah, I mean, I guess you know so anyway.
Speaker 1:So the lady's like listen, these are stroke symptoms. And, um, we have this, uh, this medicine we could give her, which is like a super ultra blood thinner, because she has lupus. Her blood is very, very is thicker than normal. So if we just give her this blood thinner, hopefully it'll flush everything out. But if we give it to her we have to keep her, her in the ICU for 24 hours to watch her because she could have a brain bleed, she could bleed out. Anything could happen, right, and I was like, ok, and the other, the PA who's on telehealth, basically on a fucking television in a hot in an office somewhere on a fucking headset, is like I think it's just a low blood sugar, we should wait for it to to regulate itself Right.
Speaker 1:And in that moment, the, the lady who wanted to give the blood thinner. She was like, look, there's a four hour window for you to take this, this medicine, and after the four hours is up, you cannot take it. And um and me and my wife like looked at each other, like okay, so we're halfway through, so we only have two hours left to make this decision. And then, um, live with the consequence of maybe not making it. And I was like and the lady looked at me in my face, like look, there's like a 4% chance that she looked at me and gave me the look like she could die. You know, if, uh, if we give her this and something bad happens. But she's going to be in an ICU with round the clock, every 10 minute care and doctors, nurses right outside doing the whole shit, and we'll have everything hooked up to her IVs, everything in case we need to go in there and do something. Or you can think that it's a low blood sugar.
Speaker 1:Now, mind you, the, the low blood sugar PA lady went and found some, you know, took her time, they gave us some time to. I was like, all right, you know. So me and my wife looked at each other like dude, we got to take this medicine. You know I'm saying that's it. You know this is our best shot. You're weighing out the odds. Because the lady, the telehealth lady, was like yo listen, you know, this low blood sugar stuff it happens. It's very, very rare, but it happens. And these are the symptoms. And she found some study that they could present to us that said it could be this.
Speaker 1:And I'm saying to myself like dude, so you're saying that like I have to make a decision on whether or not maybe my wife is like an anomaly, some rare anomaly, or we're trying to do the best we can to possibly save her you know what I'm saying and just save the rest of her motor skills. Like whatever I was, like it doesn't even make any. I the, you know the risk versus reward, we're going to go for the medicine. We took the medicine. The other lady was very happy and she was I mean the the PA was pissed because we didn't just believe her. And that's the thing I was saying, like just because these doctors, like you know, medicine and life is not an exact science, so they're making educated guesses, but this is your life that's on the line. So you just got to weigh risk versus reward.
Speaker 1:So the telehealth lady was pissed we take the medicine, you know, within maybe 90 minutes or an hour or two. And the other lady came and she was the doctor lady was just very warm, very genuine, she was like we liked her just for her demeanor. Now she could have been wrong about everything, but she was giving us like you know, like Dragnet, like just the facts, ma'am, like that kind of shit, and it was like very you know real with us and just saying, hey, listen, look, these are the risks and this is the risk of of not taking this risk, you know, and it was one of the things that we spoke about before and we learned in AA is like you don't only own the decision that you make in any decision, you own everything that comes along with that decision. So, whatever we take the medicine, within a couple hours, I don't know, my wife starts feeling better, blood starts flowing, blah, blah, blah, they transfer her, she's in ICU, whatever you know, and it was just a difficult um experience. So for like five days, you know, five days, she went from ICU to like regular hospital stays and you know everybody coming.
Speaker 1:Uh, medical professionals are all trying to, I guess, trying to help in their own way or doing whatever they got to do, and it was just a lot just dealing with the different personalities. So it's like for me it's like 80 percent of the people who work in these hospitals are like just mailing it in. You know, they're showing up to them, it's just a job. They show up like dude. There are people coming in like I'm going to take your temperature now, not even waiting for you to respond, just walking right up to your, fucking, right up to your, your face, putting this thing in your mouth. They pull it out, they don't even say anything, they just go and throw it out, to walk away and not to stop them and be like yo bro, how is it? Is it good, is it bad? They're like oh no, no, it's okay, I'm like, so fucking, say something, don't just come in here and just be like. You know, have some like decorum.
Speaker 1:So there's a lot of those that are just mailing it in, you know, and it's a it's it's a battle of powerlessness because, like, you have to be cool with them but you also have to be in a position where you can advocate for yourself. And that's like the hard part of just life, of just being in positions all the time where, like, look, I have to advocate for myself. Hold on, let me turn my phone over. People keep texting me, boom. Advocate for yourself, but not make the situation worse, because understand that the people on the other side that you're fighting or advocating against they're also human. So that means that, like, if you say, or they're having a bad day, you say or do the wrong thing, your paperwork can go to the bottom of the file, fuck it. And then what are you going to do? You're just going to throw them through a fucking wall, like you know that's like it's not right, but it's just the way life works. So it's not an easy situation for me to keep my cool, and I kept my cool most of the time, and my wife got frustrated a bunch of times and I was getting frustrated and so was my sister-in-law.
Speaker 1:You know, what we believe is one thing. What some of the other professionals believe is another thing. They're like, you know, like we had one ER lady. And we had one ER lady. No, the ICU, icu, like doctor, whatever this lady was like such a see you next Tuesday that even the nurses were like, bro, this lady is just covering somebody else's shit, but she is fucking nasty and we don't even want to deal with her either. Like she just came in and was like, oh, because my wife's hand was like shaking, like tremoring, and she's like, oh, that's just anxiety, give her a Xanax. And my wife is like trying to say like yo, I've had anxiety my whole life. I actually take medicine for it. This is not it, this is a neurological thing. And the lady was such a fucking asshole because my wife is like stuttering and she speaks low, regardless and she's speaking slow, low and stuttering. The lady's just talking over my fucking wife and basically bullying her into submission. And my wife is just like I just had to shut up because I couldn't like defend myself, but I didn't take the xanax and that's what they. That's what it was.
Speaker 1:A lot of that, a lot of just treating symptoms and uh and that other shit. But there were some really good people, um that we had one really good nurse, we had one good speech therapist that came at the end who was like really advocating for us, because you know a couple of other doctors like no, no, this is like you know, something's going on in your head, like you have anxiety and it's all coming out this way and that way, whatever. Like you know these neurological uh, this is a neurological response to like regular anxiety where we were just like, listen, my wife uh got, and then she had to do some of her own homework because she got like some medical um what do you call it? Um, images done in november that said that she has like a very narrow, uh, a very narrow vein that goes into her brain. She'll she would tell you what it is. I don't know what it is anyway. So, being that it's narrow, unusually narrow, and she has the thick blood and that's the vein that goes into that side of the brain that affects speech and motion on the whatever side it was on and walking, the pieces fit together and that's why, when she took the blood thinner, it just started to alleviate the symptoms a little bit at a time and then a lot of it at a time.
Speaker 1:So we're like in that camp and grateful for the first ER doctor who I was emailing and just telling her how grateful I was and whatever, and also how nasty this other cunt fucking neurologist doctor was or whatever. Yeah, you know, that's the camp we were in and even the speech therapist was just like oh listen, you know, she gave her all these exercises and my wife was failing at cognitive exercises. Like she had to fill out a clock and I almost wanted to cry when I saw her filling out a clock, like a blank sheet of paper with a circle. You have to go 12, 3, 6, 9. Like man, it hurt my heart to see the way she was doing it. It was like she was really impaired but then caught herself and then fixed it. But still the way she was doing it. It was like she was really impaired but then caught herself and then fixed it. But still, initially it was very bad, you know, and it hurt, man, it fucking hurt.
Speaker 1:And it took me like two days to let my people know what was going on and to let my sponsor know what was going on and to let my sponsor know what was going on and, like you know, because I was just in autopilot mode, you know. So we had a lot of stuff going on at one time, the same, the next day that that had happened. You know, it was right before valentine's, which is why I've been. I missed you guys for the last two weeks. So I had a rough couple of weeks. You know I had to drive my little one to del, delaware, the next day after this happened, on Valentine's, because you know they, they were on there, they were going to go, and then this happened and my wife is like, don't know, you should still go, don't worry, because me and Adrian are still here to take care of mommy and we have a whole army of people and I didn't ring the AA alarm yet, because if I rang that AA button alarm, everybody would be everywhere for us and I mean that very sincerely. So, whatever, I drove my kid to Delaware because the other one got a flat tire on the highway, came back, blah, blah, blah. So we dealt with all that stuff. We're dealing with all the aftermath.
Speaker 1:She's been released from the hospital. She's been home for a week. She's walking pretty good. She had to take a leave of absence from her program because that's the other thing my wife has been in school for, like x-ray tech and, before that, vascular sonogram, and so my wife knows how to read medical reports and how to read charts and it's wild to see the vagueness that some of these other people like how they talk to you when you have an idea of what's going on and they talk to you they just want compliance and they just want their ego stroked. Some of them you know some of them, but you know some of them. But there was a very caring, loving Polish nurse that was there. That was awesome.
Speaker 1:And my wife for being in the hospital. I made sure she was as comfortable as possible. I bought these little, basically plug-in USB cord like these little tabletop fans to make sure she wasn't sweating all the time and she had every snack you could fucking imagine and all this shit and clothes and whatever. Like bro, she was living. You know we did everything that we could. You know we did everything that we could, but she's doing better. I want to thank everybody for reaching out and their well wishes.
Speaker 1:It was hard for me because it's almost like it's not up to me to tell everybody what's going on, it's up to my wife. She didn't even want my sister-in-law there when she first got to the hospital. She's like I don't want her to see me like this. And I texted my sister-in-law. I was like listen, I'm letting you know right now her speech is severely impaired, so just if you can try and hold it together when you see her. And as soon as she saw her, and then she saw the stumbling, bumbling, whatever.
Speaker 1:And my wife is a is a very eloquent human. My wife is is what you would call a lady. She is a lady in every sense of the word. So to have that part of her identity Just really squashed, it was hard, you know, but yeah. So, anyway, as the weeks have gone on, she's like oh, you can tell people, so that way it doesn't look so weird If somebody sees me, why I'm, you know, a fucking mess. You know, and her spirits have been okay, they've been okay with that. So she's been home, and she and her spirits have been okay, they've been okay with that. So she's been home and she's doing well, and she's got to take a leave of absence from her program, you know, and that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:And it was just, you know, to be honest, you get hung over being at the mercy of other people who you feel don't regard you as a human being because it's part of their job and um, and it just reminds me that not everybody is on this spiritual path and these programs and, like you know, people. They just, they just lie. That's just what they do and they don't give a shit that it affects anybody else. Maybe it's part of their jobs to lie I'll get into that in a minute but like, yeah, and I, and in my mind I'm like, oh well, you don't understand. I'm being honest, I'm telling the truth all the time. Like why don't you just try and do the same? But people are just so used to being in that cycle of half truths and like ego, shit, whatever that you that you have to. You know you got to stroke their ego in order to get stuff and again.
Speaker 1:So 80% of people in the hospital mailing it in, 10% were fucking horrible, disgusting. Like even my boy, you know, told me who's my attorney and he's one of my best friends. Um, he was like dude, I don't know how anybody goes to the hospital without a lawyer. I don't know how you do it, because you know it's fucking crazy in there. You know, because he had to do, he had to deal with something on his own a few weeks prior. Anyway, saying that to say so, 80 percent just mailing it in. 10 percent horrible and 10 percent really loving, caring, good, and and that's just our experience, just mailing it in 10% horrible and 10% really loving, caring, good, and and that's just our experience. You know, that's our experience.
Speaker 1:So, like, whatever, so that was going on. You know I couldn't make any episodes. I did my best, I made a bunch of meetings, I did all the other stuff and I stayed as plugged in as I could. You know, um, you know we had, you know we had some, like you know, in-house, like you know, it's a stressful situation. So everybody handled it differently, you know, and that was it. So you know, we did, we all did whatever we thought was the best that we could at that time and that was it.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying? A couple of nothing could go on like that, like a severe thing, without there being one fight. And there was one fight and that was it, and it was between me and my wife and the kids, and that's okay, I think that's just normal. So then, entonces, right, so I'm, like you know, dealing with that kind of stuff. I have regular work, shit going on too, and yesterday, man, the plot thickens. So yesterday I'm driving up to and this is all recovery related, because my whole life is recovery related. You know, it's like, how do you handle these stressful situations with A without making them worse? And and be also being effective.
Speaker 1:So that means, like emailing the faculty at the place like, yo, these people are fucking nasty, this person was fucking nasty, this person didn't. We didn't feel that they were. They were listening to us and they, you know whatever. We thought that they were bypassing some protocols, you know, because, look, if you piss off a nurse or an orderly in a hospital, they could just leave you with soiled sheets. I'm like, oops, whatever, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:You know, I remember stories that my boy, anthony, was telling me when he was like in a coma, but he could still hear and see that the you know, uh, you know whatever. He was incapacitated, he couldn't move, but he could still like, uh, he still knew what was going on, which I don't think anybody knew that he knew. So he was telling me fucking horror stories and I was thinking about that and I was seeing, not, there wasn't that horrible coming true. One of the ones that I remember him telling me was that, like you know, he had to take this medicine every day, but he wasn't that horrible coming true. One of the ones that I remember him telling me was that, like you know, he had to take this medicine every day but he wasn't really supposed to be drinking anything. So they would crush up these pills and they put it in his mouth and they just give him like a little tiny, tiny sip of water just to help them go down. You know what I'm saying? Like a tiny, tiny sip. Anyway, so he had this one fucking animal nurse that would come in at night and she would just crush up the pills and like she didn't, there was no bedside manner, she didn't care about anything. She was one of the 10 percent that just either mailing it in the 80 or 10 percent. That was just really nasty and like I'm gonna fuck with this kid. And uh, power tripping. She would crush up the pills and leave them in his mouth the whole night and he couldn't move. He couldn't move, he couldn't talk, he couldn't say anything. So I can't even imagine when it's like suffering with crushed up pills in your mouth all night. And he said his mom would come in in the morning and he'd be drawn everywhere and there'd be white pills, shit hanging out of his fucking mouth and like all that stuff. Like yeah, for months that was going on. So it's like yo, you need somebody there 24 hours a day to make sure nothing is happening to your loved ones.
Speaker 1:Okay, so chapter two. I'm going up Flatbush Avenue yesterday, you know, I get pulled over at a checkpoint because the front plate of my car right is the numbers are not all the way visible. I know that I've been having to get this fixed for a while now. I'm saying like maybe a couple of months I've been like procrastinating on it because, like I have other, it's just not high on the priority list. I get a ticket here and there. I pay the ticket. Trust me, when I run those red lights or something like that, or if I'm speeding, I get those tickets in the mail. So I know that they can read the plate. You know what I'm saying. It doesn't even make any sense anyway. So the guy stops me, lo and behold your boy right.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile the plate is. It doesn't matter why it's defaced to them. But here's the truth. The truth is it's defaced because, you know, as many of you guys know, I lost my sister to this disease alcoholism maybe five, six years ago, probably six years by now, yeah, and those were the plates from her car and I just keep them on every car that I have. And those were the plates from her car and I just keep them on every car that I have and I, just when we get a new lease, I pop those plates on. I ask can I keep the plates? Like, yeah, so they're just old, they're the old, like white and blue New York plates. That's how old they are, anyway. So it's like a keepsake. Mind you, I have like a portrait of her tattooed on my arm and I miss her dearly and I look at her every day. My sister, she didn't, you know, whatever, anyway. So that's what's going on.
Speaker 1:They're like oh, yeah, by the way, you have a warrant, you have an open warrant. I was like, for what I know, it's been a very long time since I've been in any kind of serious trouble in any way. And they're like yeah, this is from a non-registered vehicle from 2018. I was like what does that even mean? I don't understand. I'm like, yeah, sometimes you switch insurance companies and then the insurance lapses, so then you don't have registration and then they don't tell the DMV and you get a ticket. You don't show up. Either way, we're going to have to take you to the station house. I'm like fuck.
Speaker 1:So they arrest me in the middle of Flatbush Avenue, take my car, they throw me in the cell. I'm in the cell with this young kid, 26 years old. You know, he's a little bit bigger than me. It's been a long time since I've been in a cell, especially with somebody else. So, like I'm on my square, I got to be on my P's and Q's. I don't. You know, I don't know what's going on. It's a very small cell. There's fucking doo-doo on the fucking walls. It stinks a little bit like fucking pee.
Speaker 1:They give us a bottle of water and you know, then the cops just start doing cop stuff. Like, yeah, don't worry, you'll be out of here in like two hours. Send this stuff to the judge. He's gonna vacate this warrant. It's bullshit. He's gonna throw it out. You know, it's very old and it's just for like a basically like a stupid registration ticket. Your car is obviously registered. Now we have all your stuff. Whatever, you're good, you know, two hours over time turns into fucking 10 hours, you know, and each time the police are coming in there and, like you know, lying like, oh yeah, no, we're on it. We just sent an email. We called twice and then we sent an email yeah, they're gonna do it. I'm like what the? I'm like I don't understand.
Speaker 1:So after like four hours, after like an hour once I'm there for like maybe two hours I make a phone call, tell my wife okay, look, because she did the find my location, shit. I was like all right, look, here's what's going on. They said I'm gonna be out of here in a little bit, you know. So she found me. She's like do I need to come now? I was like no, they said I'm gonna be out in a little bit. It's basically nothing like a glorified traffic ticket that they have to uh get rid of. And um, and yeah, dog, two hours later they're like it's more games. And I'm like okay, what is going on? So then I get another. I make another phone call, the guy next to me.
Speaker 1:By the way, the police are coming in there every hour or so just to check on us. They're giving this other kid cigarettes. He's smoking cigarettes in the fucking cell. You know, it's like basically like an eight by five cell at most. Um, you know, I'm saying and I'm there next to a guy fucking blowing newport 100s. He's got fucking weed with him in the cell. He ends up over this time smoking two joints in the fucking cell.
Speaker 1:These people like, oh yeah, you know there's cameras and this and nobody's fucking watching us. You know it's just an ordeal and you know you just got to deal again with another branch of society where, you know, maybe maybe you start your job thinking you want to be somebody and then the job turns you into somebody else, and I think that's what happens in the hospital. Maybe, if you let it, that's the thing, these people let it definitely with the cops. These guys were fucking miserable and they were just lying and just fucking with us. So after like four hours I went.
Speaker 1:I was like, let me get another call. I call my wife and I'm standing there next to the cop. I said, listen, I cannot, we cannot go by what these people are saying. I need you to call this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, like, don't sound the full alarm, but ring the bell. You know she calls the lawyer. Lawyers are calling the fucking precinct. Blah, blah, blah. What's going on? Like all this other shit. You know the fucking yeah, it was. You know it was just one after another of people just like your face and just being just not being honest with you, and maybe that I can call that lying. They're just not being honest with you.
Speaker 1:And then one guy came and he was like a dick and, um, I was like I'll say, listen, I don't care how long I'm here, just stop coming and telling me that I'm going to get out of here in an hour. Just don't tell me that. Come in here and just be a fucking man and say listen, we're sending the paperwork. I don't know what's going on at the courthouse. We're in the station, we don't know when you're going to leave. Just fucking say that and then I'll relax. Because every hour, every two hours, you're like dangling this fucking carrot in front of me, like I'm some fucking and I'm over here like, you know, somebody in working fields yes, sir, no sir, yes sir, no sir. And because I know that if I just get mad and start acting like like some, like somebody who's been wronged, you can lose my paperwork and I'll be in here for two days and they don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:This cell has not been washed wherever. Again, doo-doo on the motherfucking walls, so like to keep my composure that whole time. And then, on top of that, you know, staying on alert, there's a young kid, 26 years old. He got four kids. He's in there for grand larceny. He obviously doesn't care about his freedom If he's in there, you know, with smuggled weed in his fucking balls and his rolling joints and smoking them in the fucking cell. You know he doesn't, you know he doesn't have a care. So I got to keep an eye on him because and then just stay on my square to make sure. I'm like, look, worst case scenario, it will be very hard. He'll have a rough time fucking kicking my ass in that little place. But it doesn't mean that it's not on the menu, you know, and I don't know how soon the police would come.
Speaker 1:And he had me by about, you know, maybe four or five inches and maybe, like I don't know, I don't even think he weighed more than me. I'm little but I weigh about 190, yeah, so maybe he, maybe he was about my, my anyway, missing a tooth, about my my anyway, missing a tooth, the whole fucking story. And um, yeah, so I sat there from 10 in the morning till eight at night. It was, um, it wasn't easy and I was just my I'm. I was just growing leery of giving people the benefit of the doubt, and it was.
Speaker 1:These experiences between the hospital and the police have taken that from me a little bit. And that's just the truth. They're like no, I'm expecting people to be sober and people are actually just humans and they live by a code that I don't live by. They just don't. They live by a different code. Now, it doesn't mean that I used to not live by that code. I used to very much function on that level and that's why I was miserable, like the way these fucking police officers are miserable, mind you. You, I have to go back to the station, me, and at the same time, right, they take all my property, whatever, they take all my property and they leave me with like a hundred bucks Fuck, I'm going to do with a hundred dollars in a cell, you know.
Speaker 1:So, one of the times, like a new sergeant comes on and he's like yeah, you know, he plays like good cop, like yeah, you know, like we're going to get you guys out of here very quickly. There was a shift change. Blah, blah, blah. You know this that are you hungry? You? Okay? I said, listen, I'm not. I was like what do you mean? I was like what do we do about food? He says we'll go get you whatever you want. Do you have money? I was like yeah, till 9, I don't need it. He's like no, brother, you're not going to, it's 4 hours from now, 5 hours from now. You'll be out of here way before then.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile he could have just been like listen, we've had people in here for 18 hours at a clip for this kind of stuff because there's paperwork involved and other people on the other end that are beyond our control. So be smart, and if you have some money, I'll send a guy to get you some McDonald's, whatever that would have been. You know what? I would have respect for somebody who handles their fucking shit like that, but no, they don't want to handle it that way, they just want to be like no two more hours. No one more hour. No two more hours Like dude, what the fuck is. You know what part of living that kind of life is rewarding, where, when, in reality, you could use that position and your experience.
Speaker 1:Because then the one cop who was a dick I was like this is the problem that you guys would just keep fucking with me instead of just tell me you don't know. That's it. Just he's like, yeah, he says, but we're only telling you what they're telling us. I said, yeah, that's it. That sounds like a fucking cop out. Because the truth is, if you've been because he couldn't wait to tell us he'd been on the job for 20 years I said, if you've been here for 20 years, then you know that you can't rely on what they're saying, unless today is their one off day in 20 years. No, it's a pattern of how the fucking job works.
Speaker 1:Say, listen, we don't know. I'm sorry, you guys, and what are you scared? We're going to start freaking out in there. Well then, guess what? You should put somebody in that fucking room, the fingerprint room where the holding cell is, to fucking watch us. And they're straight up showing up minimum 30 minutes later. So police time is 30 minutes means 90 minutes and right away means 30 minutes. That's what that means.
Speaker 1:And all they did was just, every time they came in, they gave this kid a cigarette to pacify him. He probably smoked like 8, 10 cigarettes the whole time, plus the two joints, and they didn't even say a fucking peep and that shit fucking stunk in there. I don't know how they didn't even say a fucking peep and that shit fucking stunk in there. I don't know how they didn't smell it or they just didn't care, you know. So when I was just done, you know, I got out of there. I couldn't wait to get out. I couldn't wait to get out just so I, like, I wanted, I wanted to just give them all a piece of my fucking mind. I was like dude, you guys have really treated me unfairly. You don't need to acknowledge that and there's nothing you can do to me right now. Well, reality, of course you fuck with a cop. They'll come after you in all these other ways, but I deserve the right to let you know what the fuck you did and how you made me feel, and to not have that right or to not feel like you can exercise that right without repercussions.
Speaker 1:That was a challenging time, both in the hospital, specifically in the hospital when it came to my wife, because my wife didn't really want me there all the time. All the time, because, you know, I turned into like the Yenta Jew when it comes to having to defend her. You know, because then I just start saying everything. I say listen, I don't know what to tell these doctors or what not to, because I'm not going to make a decision on what's relevant. So when they're like, oh, has she had any surgeries? Yes, has this happened? Yes, ba ba, ba, I had any surgeries. Yes, has this happened? Yes, blah, blah, blah. I'm like yo with these. She didn't eat for three days, like the whole thing. I tell them everything I know, not everything I think that they should know. I tell them everything I know and let them discern from that you know and really just press them.
Speaker 1:And the good speech therapist that was there at the end, last name was, I think her name was Lauren R reingold, sweet kid, you know, I was like yo, like she was really helped, trying to help us and advocate for us. So she came on the first day and actually on the last day, which was wild, and, um, she's telling my wife she's like yo, you have a good husband, just so you know. Like, because you know, you know some people they don't, they don't advocate for themselves because they're scared or whatever. And I told my wife I'm like see what happened, you marry a Jew. And the girl was so happy. She's like, oh, my God, yeah, absolutely. And she gave me like a high five because she's also obviously Rheingold, jewish.
Speaker 1:And then on the way out I was like, look, she's like here's my card, here's my number, here's my cell number. You guys call me anything, any way that I can help you. I will 100% help you, you know whatever. And then she gives me like a little pat on the shoulder. She's like Jew Power. I was like, yeah, absolutely that you have to be like that on this earth. You know that you have to look for ways to ask friends for favors in order to be treated fairly. It's fucking wild man.
Speaker 1:Because when the last call I made to my wife, when I told her okay, call the lawyer, call some, whatever, some people, and I gave her a list, the next person on the list, my cousin who works for the state and he's got a badge, and then my other cousin who works for the state and he's got a badge, and then my other cousin who works for the feds and she has a badge, I'm like because, like the, you know, professional courtesy hopefully maybe they'll give somebody else, because they're not giving me any common courtesy, you know, and that was, uh, you know, it was all just a big test of my recovery to see how you know, to see how to respond and I got closer to God in that way. But I also got closer to reality, because a lot of times I live like in this recovery bubble, where a lot of people, most of the people in my life, live the way that I live, but I only live with, you know, a fraction percentage of the people on this earth and most other people live the other way. And it's just whack when you have to deal with that stuff, because then it's hard to deal with it effectively, because you just want to be angry and actually make things worse for yourself. You want to be angry, you want to be violent, you want to be nasty, like whatever. But what's the truth? The truth is that those people are fucking animals and this is the reason people wonder why I don't like the police, because then also, when I'm leaving, so I finally get out of the precinct, they only give me 100 bucks. They keep the rest of my money and all my shit.
Speaker 1:I got to drive my car out of there, even though I have technically a suspended license, but they didn't give a shit. They let me go. And then they just told me like, oh yeah, all your warrant is vacated, it's expunged or whatever. And they just told me that. And then when I left, they just gave me my property slips. They didn't give me a letter that says like it's expunged. And when I spoke to the lawyer, he's like dude, you need to get that.
Speaker 1:What if there was no warrant? What if they just made a mistake? You know you could be due some compensation? I was like what? He's like, yeah, he's like they have to give you stuff that says that this has been wiped clean. It's like you motherfuckers, man, because when the guy came in to say that they finally vacated the warrant, he just held up some stupid like by the like papers in his hand. He leans in. He's like like, oh, we vacated the warrant, we'll get you out of here soon and now. And it took two and a half more hours after that, you know.
Speaker 1:So he could have just been lying, because they all lie. It's part of their job and it becomes part of their life, becomes part of who they are, which is another reason why, when I was being transported from the street to the precinct, the two lady cops that was driving me one of them was just a miserable fucking bitch. I don't know what's going on in her personal life, maybe her boyfriend or whoever, is dicking somebody else down, and she's just nasty, miserable. Even when I got there, I asked the other cop. I was like, is this lady okay? Because she was just even driving crazy and being aggravated at people who were crossing the street. I'm like yo, you're not, but you're not going to an emergency, you're just transporting somebody to a precinct. You don't need to fly and hit the lights and go through, we can just get there. When we get there, you know, and you got a fucking arrest, there you go. That's the other thing. That's how they earn. Rank is by locking motherfuckers up.
Speaker 1:So when I got out of there, I thought I needed time to decompress, and maybe I did, and it was only because of the experience itself and also because having my adrenaline switched on more than normal from being in the cell with somebody I didn't know for a long time, you know, because I was like dude, I don't. You know, I don't know what this is going to turn into. You know he could be an EDP, emotionally disturbed person and he could just flip out at any moment because they're not letting him out, and then I'm the only other. I'm the only person, place or thing that he can effectively take that anger out on, you know. So it would have been a rough time for him, though we both would have probably got lumped up pretty good. But either way, I'm saying that to say that all of this shit happened in two fucking weeks. So it's been a rough uh, last uh, couple of weeks for me, but I have to say thank God that I lived this life, that I handled it as best I could. I didn't have any fucking real meltdowns, I didn't make anything worse for myself, but, you know, and so I got to stay on the course. I'm going to about to go swimming in a little while, you know, and so I got to stay on the course. I'm about to go swimming in a little while, you know, in the cold ass motherfucking ocean. And just make sure that you know, tie up any loose ends I have in my life, you know.
Speaker 1:And then this stuff is also maybe the health stuff is also maybe caused, you know, my wife to start. Really, my wife was already rethinking some of her regular habits. Here's the problem, and I said this the other day my cousin, my wife, eats like a pregnant lady, but she looks like fucking only fans. And that's the truth, one million percent. And people will be like, wow, I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah, she has every weapon. You has every weapon, you know every weapon. So you know she was already thinking about changing diet. We're going to do something more Mediterranean, take some other supplements, this, that and whatever, and that's it so.
Speaker 1:But yeah, you got to go on the offense with the health stuff and then we finally got a bill from the hospital. Thank God she has, like I guess you know, whatever public health insurance. I don't know what it's called, not just Medicaid or something, or Medicare, whatever. It is. Dude, it was like for five days she was there and they did a couple of things $130,000. $130,000. So good thing they don't want that money from us, because it wouldn't happen. 130 grand so good thing they don't want that money from us, because it wouldn't happen, we would fucking escape to Portugal. So like and subscribe on all podcast platforms. This is how you live life like a sober man, sober experience. Again, thank you everybody who was helping out along the way, all the anonymous people when I went to meetings down the street from the hospital that were kind to me and let me babble on, and you know we'll see you guys next week. We'll get back into the step work and that's it. I love you guys, Peace.