The Sober Experience

From Pancakes To Prayer: Humility In Recovery

• Jay Luis

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Holidays can feel like a tug-of-war between comfort and growth, and that’s exactly where our conversation lands. We open with the real stuff—Thanksgiving rituals, early dinners with family, the famed pancake line, and how easy it is to sink into cozy routines that quietly steal momentum. The pull is familiar: food as a reward, Netflix as a numb button, even “healthy” habits used as a hideout from the work that actually moves life forward. That friction sets the stage for Step Seven and what humility looks like when the season turns up the heat.

Humility here isn’t theatrical. It’s that honest moment we admit we can’t outthink our urges and ask a Higher Power to remove what keeps tripping us: procrastination, self-pity, control, the urge to sabotage progress midstream. We talk through practical tools—short prayers that cut through noise, keeping our commitments small and clear, and finishing one hard task to reset the nervous system. We also sit with a deeper truth: defects evolve. If substances are off the table, the lower self offers newer vices. Recognizing the costume is part of the job.

Relationships make the work real. With a quieter home and more one-on-one time, misalignments in marriage have nowhere to hide. We look at strategies over blame: how to shift patterns, when to ask for outside help, and why generosity and courage keep communication open. Along the way, community matters—sponsors, home groups, and the simple protocols that help us show up without losing ourselves at the holiday table. Small acts tell the story: returning the stray cart, choosing restraint, and asking for help before the spiral starts.

If you’re navigating cravings, family pressure, or that sneaky drift toward comfort that derails your plans, this is your invitation to keep the loop tight: ask, act, review, repeat. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show. What’s the one shortcoming you’re ready to release this season?

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See you on the flipside !!

SPEAKER_00:

Yo, what's up, everybody? Welcome back. Sober Experience. You know the deal. Share never subscribe and like on all podcast platforms on our YouTube page, The Sober Experience. Um, Turkey's done. Thanksgiving's done. We got through the first leg of the uh holiday season, and uh we are back to finish step seven. All right, let's get some tunes on and see uh yeah. Let's get in the right mood, peoples. That shit is hard right there. Yep. All right. Let me stop the stop the noise. Hope you guys had a great holiday. Shout out to speaker. Happy to be back with you guys. We got some good stuff coming up. Um I've been invited uh to do a uh step study on a show that I listen to all the time. Um my buddy Paul's got a show. It's called um Three Legacy Recording, Recovery Recordings, something like that. Three, I'll post it when I'm on the episode. We're gonna be doing a step study, which is cool. You know, I'm with all of it. Trying to live this life, man. We're getting closer and closer to the end of the year. And how's everybody doing, man? How's everybody winding down? It's December. Yeah, man, it's December. It's getting cold in New York, which I love. You know, this is a uh, you know, family time. And what does that always bring? You know, it brings a lot of um, it could be joy, you know. It could be joy. There's joy. Is um also, you know, you got a year's worth of um shit, a year's worth of, you know, resentment or whatever. Maybe you try and wash it away in New Year's. Maybe normal people, they just get drunk and say, fuck it, forget about it. Or maybe they just, you know, they just pretend uh like it never happened and then just keep moving on. You know, I don't know. I'm one of these people that I have a very large um I wouldn't say circle. My circle's pretty, I don't know, my circle's pretty large, but you know, a lot of people are just in orbit. But those who are close to me, you know what it is, and this is the truth, maybe. I'm I'm close to everybody in different ways, not all in the same way. Like I'm close to some people in one way, I'm close to some people in another way, in a different way, but it's still valuable. It's just that I know them, my relationship with them is in a different way. Than um, yeah, which is, I guess, I don't know, it's just what works for me. I have such a busy brain and such a busy life that I, you know, I can't like my polar bear people are different, you know, some of them than the recovery people, then my family, then my just, you know, regular friends and people I'm friendly with. Yeah. And I it's not really compartmentalizing. It's actually just, you know, I have limited, I have limited uh bandwidth. So I just choose to try and just meet people and connect wherever they are. And then sometimes they start to come to wherever I am, and sometimes we're in the same space at the same time. And that is cool, but it doesn't last forever. At all. No, it doesn't last forever, man. You go through stuff and you go through it with people, and then you come out the other side, and then some people they make two left turns and you just made, you know, three right turns. That doesn't mean you don't love them anymore or anything like that. It just means that you're on a different, you know, you're on a different time, you know. And that's uh that's okay. For Thanksgiving, I my parents uh who no longer host because they're getting long in the tooth. You know, they it was you know perfect for me, which was that um they made a reservation and a restaurant, which was actually really good. And take my wife over there. It's called the Palm. P-A-L-M. Palm. On West on uh 50th, uh West 50th Street. 50th, I think it was like in 9th Avenue or something. It was dope. And what's dope is because they're older, dog, we were eating, they were like reservation is that for 315. I was like, hell yeah. 315 was I like to be in bed early. I'm getting old too. You know, I don't like to be out crazy late here, there, this, that, whatever. You know, that morning, uh, Thanksgiving morning, I went to uh, you know, my home group had uh Alcaton, so I went to a meeting early, like 9 a.m. I didn't go to the gym or nothing. Sat with my went with my parents. Um yeah, and then I went to my cousin Myra's house, which was beautiful. I haven't seen her in a long time, and I've been meaning to go. And um and it was nice. It was nice. I got to see her and all my little cousins, and that was cool. And um and I drove all the way back to Brooklyn uh to my house. You know, I got home like 12, and I spent like basically like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, like you know, the girl from um The Godfather, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Yeah, I spent like three days at least just hanging out with my wife. And that was like it was a lot of it was just like so good that I could see how I could fall into that lifestyle and do nothing, and then my whole life crumbles because it's just nothing but comfort when I'm with her, you know? Kids aren't around, they're playing an away game now, they're doing whatever they're doing, which is whatever, and that's okay. I don't mind. Um but you know, we we watched movies, we ate leftovers, we hung out with each other, just me and her. I left the house just to go to the gym, a few times go to my swims. I did that, you know. Sunday we, you know, polar bear shit. And uh what else? Oh man, Saturday we went to there's a place on the I guess you can, yeah, it's on the lower east side. It is Madison Street. It's called the Golden Diner. And I've been looking at this stuff on YouTube and I don't have TikTok or whatever, but like, you know, these are allegedly the best pancakes on earth. But, you know, you don't get there crack of dawn, it's fucking over for you. You know, the place opens at 10 a.m. We roll, I was like, yo, listen, I don't know how much of this is fiction or how much of it is whatever. Because you know, like, you know, people they pay influencers to like big up their restaurant, and then you know what I'm saying? And you go there, you're like, what the fuck is this shit? Slop. But that wasn't, you know, whatever, but we don't know. So I'm like, look, everywhere on Reddit, everywhere is talking about, yo, be waiting three hours for the pancakes. I'm like, not the kid. So if it opens at 10, I said, bro, we're gonna get there like 8:45, 8.30, whatever, on a Saturday morning. Yo, we roll up there, it was like 8:45, an hour and 15 minutes before it opened, and there was already a few people online. I was like, holy, and they were they were cleaning the sidewalk with the um the hose. The holes. So I drove around the block once to see if I can find some parking. I didn't want to park it legally, you know. My wife, if I do it with my wife, she'll fucking shoot me. I park illegally all the time. I take the pumps, I do whatever. Whatever. I do whatever. Step three, I give it to the Lord. Like, yeah, we're gonna take the pump. You know, we're gonna the bus stop. I don't do, but no standings, Johnny pumps. I take whatever. Illegal U-turns, no signals, all of that. So we get there, we're happy. Eight, it's 8 45. I put the car in the lot. The guys make a small talk of me. Oh, you're going to the golden diner, because he knows. Going to the golden diner. I wanted to get food from there today. I'm like, okay. I don't know how you're gonna do that, but I mean, whatever. And um, you know, he works in a lot and outdoor lot, and that was that. So, whatever, we go online, we wait and we make some, you know, you know, man friendly. I don't know, within 15 minutes, more people start showing up. Now it's like nine o'clock, then 9.15, the line starts getting longer and longer. Then I look, 9.30, bro, it's around the block. People are taking Ubers from all over the place. There's gotta be realistically, there was 150 people online, like right by the open, maybe yeah, between 150 and 200. It was like uh down the block and around the corner and then up the block. And it was cold, but we were standing in the sun, so we were okay. And you know, the place sits maybe 20 people. 30, maybe, 30. A couple of tables, some of them are reserved, then you got to sit at the at the counter at the bar. But we got there early enough that we got like a little table. And I got one pancake, and what else did I get? Psh, bro. I got an order of pancake and an order of wings. And then when I mean like I have been completely off the fucking reservation, I have been off the reservation when it comes to the food stuff because it's holiday time. I went three days like a fat hoo. I was just eating and eating and eating. And it started like Wednesday night, Thursday, whatever. Anyway, so this pancake, I gotta tell you, it's a really good pancake. I'm not gonna lie. Um, there some people believe that they're like life-changing, which I understand if you believe all the hype. Let me tell you something. I would not wait three hours online for that pancake. That I would not do. But um hour and 15 minutes to get in, you sit down, you have the pancake, you know, it comes with this insane butter. Insane, insane. You know, I ate the pancake, I had like one wing, I was stuffed. I was eating, I was eating shitty food, but I wasn't like stuffing myself like an animal. I was just eating all the bad things, but I don't eat a lot a lot. You know, I really just let myself go and let myself enjoy myself or do things what I believe would enjoy myself. Even that morning at the meeting, I had a donut. No, at the Thursday morning meeting, I had a donut, me and my boy Luke. It was like a Boston cream donut, but I had like a little extra cream puff on top, you know, which was like whatever. It was, you know. Here's the thing it's like the food can taste good, but it's like it doesn't make me feel good all the time. But I just, you know, I indulge. So I gotta tell you, the Golden Diner Pancake, if you get there, you gotta just go early in the morning. And then just make sure you're the first people in there. You do it, you say you did it. Would I go back? Likely uh no. Um, if I went to go with somebody else, yeah, I would take them. You know, I mean, it was really incredible. I don't know if I could eat two of those pancakes without really fucking wanting to slit my fucking wrist and let the syrup drip out of me. But I think the best part of it was the butter that was on top. So I was doing that, and then my wife is like, yo, your parents want to meet for dinner. And I was like, fucking what? It's like, dude, I was just with them the other day, and I went, I didn't go crazy, but you know, I had, you know, nice big, you know, shrimp cocktail, and then, you know, a ribeye. What else? Oh, and the key lime pie. So we just had this pancake banana. It was so we had we both had to take a nap. Got home took a nap. I smoked a cigar, took a nap, and I smoked mad cigars this weekend. Did that, um, but took a nap, and then she's like, Yeah. My mom texted her, like, yo, can you make a reservation for 6 p.m. for car mines? I was like, oh my god. I said, we're gonna fucking die, bro. That's like, you know, you got two months worth of cheat meal in one day. Because Carmines, we go to the 191st Street in Broadway, and it's like super Italian, you know, they serve everything. It's like you you order chicken palm and you get like six chicken breasts. You know, it's like it's like family-style Italian, whatever. And I behaved a lot when I went there. I had a they this they come with a basket of bread with the gar garlic and uh olive oil. It'd be better. I was gonna ask them for balsamic, but then I to mix with the olive oil, but then I would have ate the whole basket. But you know, if I behave most of the year, I feel good, man. And I just, you know, I but I don't I don't overdo it anyway. So I spent the weekend eating. What did I have over there? I had a steak. I still have a portion of the steak left. Today's probably the last day I can eat it. Steak and eggs. Um yeah, so I had the steak, and then for dessert, I did something. Oh my god, they had the fucking strawberry short cake, forget about it. Dude, you can't even finish the food, you can't even take it with you. But whatever, I'm back. I'm back on the on the on the thing. But you know, it was like it was low-key for me, you know, with the family stuff. You know, there's always family, uh, you know, whatever. Whatever. There's always these ruptures, these separations, these little, you know, it could have been like a A, it could have been worse, and B, I definitely could have made it worse. And I didn't do almost any of those things. I got into like very, very, very small dust up with my wife, you know, but you know, whatever. It wasn't a big deal. You know, the stress was on, man. She was cooking all kind of crazy shit. She went to my mother-in-law's, like my sister-in-law was there, and all the, you know, whatever. The pressure was on. And uh, you know, I say or do the wrong thing, and then that's how it comes out. But we really just enjoyed ourselves. We watched, if you haven't seen it, you gotta watch The Frankenstein on Netflix. That was fucking incredible. And then we watched um this, the the latest like alien documentary, where they're interviewing Marco Rubio and whatever. I forgot the name of that, but that was like really good and eye-opening, you know, everybody knows there's aliens, bro. You know, but we've had them for forever and all kind of shit. And then, you know, so we just did like Netflix and chill, and you know, just alone time and limited time with me outside the crib. And it was cool, but like, you know, I was you know, I get worried and I get antsy, like, bro, we got to get some money coming in. Uh we're okay, like financially. Totally okay, like very okay. But like, you know, a few days, it's when you have when you have a business or you don't have a business, when you are responsible for other people, whether it's your children, whatever, dude, like one day off is really three days off. That's what it is. You miss one day, you're three days behind. I learned that when I was working on Wall Street. They're like, dude, you're not here one day, you're actually fucking three days behind. You know what I'm saying? Because it takes you three whole days to make up the amount of work that you would do in one day. So that's how that works. Anyway, so I started feeling that pressure a little bit. Then one fucking clown, the new guy was supposed to start today. He sends me a text like 7:30 in the morning, yo, my mom's in the hospital, this, that, can we postpone? And it's like, whatever. And in my mind, I'm like, dude, you're here or you're not here? You ain't here. He's like, just to show you I'm not playing, sends me pictures of his mom. I'm like, dude, totally inappropriate. And it smells even like even more bullshit. So I, you know, that's it. He's out. Another guy's supposed to start tomorrow and see if he shows up. And if he doesn't, that's okay too. You know. But yeah, get the first uh first holiday out the way. Next is gonna be Christmas. You know what I mean? We'll see how that goes. You know, and that's a uh that's uh that's a real thing. Christmas and then New Year's. And you know, my mom and them, they do uh Three Kings, which is cool. But yeah, it'll probably be more of the same. More food, more cigars, maybe more dominoes. May I mean the game, not the pizza. And um, you know, but I want to really uh you know, stay on the path, both uh getting closer to my wife, um, getting closer to you guys, getting closer to God, staying out the dungeon. You know, I know if I really let myself go, it's gonna be uh crazy. And uh it's like, you know, especially look, I was talking with my my cousin who's a nurse, and she's with somebody who's a doctor, and we got to talk a little bit about health stuff, which is cool. But for for me, like according to the medical professionals, I'm like a health QAnon, you know? That's the kind of shit I'm on. I'm on that. And um, you know, whatever. But I don't mind, and I try not to be like, oh, I need I don't really need validation from anybody. What I'm doing works for me, my you know, and that's it. And what you do works for you, and that's how that goes. You know what I mean? Okay, let's finish up step seven and then I'll boogie on out of here. We're about 20 minutes in, Bo. Okay, where are we? Okay, ask um step seven is uh humbly ask them to remove our shortcomings, things that we were speaking about last time. And this is really important when it comes to, you know, again, holiday time, and you're gonna be around family and people you don't even like. This is the thing. This for me, my wife is not super, super close to her family. I mean, she has like a big family like whatever. I don't have to go anywhere and freaking behave, which is beautiful. That's like, you know, I mean, my wife is a fucking 12. But if she was like a seven, that would take her to an 11 if I don't have to show up and be on my P's and Q's. You know, I like to be myself wherever I'm at. But I also know that there is um like what my mom would call like protocols. Like, oh, you you know, yeah, behave. You know, stuff. Even like eating with them, I don't like to eat when my parents out because like sometimes, you know, old people can be old people in a restaurant. And any of you who's been out with old people know what I'm talking about. You know, and um, it's uncomfortable and it makes me anxious, but whatever, I show up. What does your reef say? Step one, show up. Step two is uh be courageous. No, step one is courageous, step two, lead with love. Step three, be generous. And that's what I was doing. That's what I was doing anyway. All right, we're at the last portion here. Asking to have our shortcomings removed. So, how do we ask the God of our understanding to remove our shortcomings? The answer is likely to depend a great deal on what kind of understanding we have of God. Hmm. Yeah. There are many, many different ways to understand God. Most of the for me, most of the time, I, you know, I don't really understand. I mean, I understand the theory and the principle that like this is everything is for the ultimate greatest good for me. But he knows more than me. I don't, you know. I just, you know, the difference between getting what you need and getting what you want. I never learned that. And I instinctively now try to reach for things that I need. Uh like a healthy mental and emotional balance, even if it's just for a moment. It's a big win for me. Anyway, uh there are many, many different ways to understand God, so many that we couldn't possibly provide examples in this guide of how much each person's individual spiritual path would influence his or her seventh-step work. Suffice it to say that our step work should reflect our own spiritual paths. Like everybody's on their own path. That's the shit that I fucking try to live by. You know, whether, especially, you know, my kids, my son, my cousin, they're uh they're all on their own spiritual path, they're all on their own health path, everything. And I just I'm on my own path. You know, we're all in the same forest together, but I'm on my own path. I gotta stick to the script for me, you know, and allow them to be where they're at. Instead of like saying, like, this lovely man, come over here. What the fuck do I know? You know, anyway, as individuals, we might pick a particular personal routine or ritual ritual as our way of asking our higher power to remove our shortcomings. For the purposes of this guide, we call it prayer. Prayer is just asking for something. You know, the word prayer is widely accepted in our fellowship as uh as a description of the way we communicate with our higher power. The tone of asking is captured in the word humbly. Humbly. Is it humbly or with humility? It says humbly. Coming from a place in ourselves that is most that is most honest, the place that's closest to our spiritual center, we ask to have our shortcomings removed. How will I ask the God of my understanding to remove my shortcomings? I just yeah, when I'm faced with them, the bedevilments, the distractions, the I shouldn't call them impulses, but I'll get an obsession, you know, a run o a runaway thought that that overpowers all other thoughts. It's like, hey, why don't especially when I'm supposed to be doing something productive or something that I've been avoiding for a while. Like, oh let me go do this. Let me go look at that, let me go poke around online, look whatever. Whatever. And um man, I fucking sometimes have to pray. Like please, please don't do it. Don't fucking do it. Most of the time it's just like, just stay busy, just stay busy, let the moment pass. You know, let the moment pass before I and I'm talking about ringing a a bell or something, doing something that is not gonna harm anybody else but me. You know what I'm saying? It's only gonna harm me, and that's the shit that I do. You know, and that's like in those moments I'm like, God, please no, man. I can't believe I've made it this far, and I'm still, you know, I still can't start something and finish something without having all these things, impulses that go on in bet in between beginning and end that are just gonna sabotage what I'm trying to accomplish. You know, even like hiding in helping others, I can hide from myself in doing that, or doing, you know, um healthy shit or whatever. You know, like I tell my wife, like, yo, man, I can't, I I know I have to go and do these things in my work. And she's like, did you go to you have time to go to the gym? I said, I can't. I said, I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna hide in the gym. And the gym will help me feel okay, maybe for the moment, but I know that I'm hiding in there instead of going and completing what I need to do. Now, does that mean that, oh, there's no gym ever? No, it just means that, like, you know, nothing makes me feel better than completing something that I was too chicken shit to finish. It's that self, that sense of self-accomplishment. And I can almost never do it on my own. Almost never. I need a power greater than me. Okay. Can other recovering addicts help me figure out how I'm going to ask? Yeah. You know, you can bounce ideas off for other people and how to stay the course. Have I asked them to share their experience, strength, and hope with me? Yes. How did you get through this? What do you do when you're trying your best to fucking, you know, be good to yourself, and then you have that demon voice inside of you saying, no, go fucking do this. Go do this. Yeah. Have I asked my sponsor for guidance? Always. He doesn't, I don't even have to ask him. I just I feel him. He's like, hey, ooh, ooh. You know? He's never been ashamed of me ever. Regardless of what I've ever done. As with any other aspect of our program, we are not going to ask just once to have our shortcomings removed. We'll ask again and again throughout our lifetimes. The way we ask is certain to change as our understanding of God changes. Nothing we do at this point locks us into one way of working the seventh step forever. Yeah, always evolving because the demon, the bed, your lower self evolves too. It's working its own program. Like, oh, he doesn't just drink anymore, then fucking let's go do that. Oh, he does, he's not gonna fuck around on his wife. Oh, well, maybe we'll just do this, or maybe we'll do that, or maybe, you know. Slippery fucker, bro. You know? Always looking, you know, self-pity. It's like, how do we feel like shit about ourselves? What can we do to feel worse about the way we are? That's the way my demon talks to me. Okay, moving on, keep going. Getting out of the way. Most of us realize that we probably need to do something more in this step than just pray for our shortcomings to be removed. We need to take some action that will invite the God of our understanding to work in our lives. We can't ask God to remove our shortcoming, then hang on to it with all our might. The more distance we keep between ourselves and our higher power, the less we will feel the power's presence. This is true. We have to maintain the awareness of ourselves that we gained in the sixth step and add it to the awareness of God working in our lives. How does the spiritual principle surrender apply to getting out of the way so a higher power can work in our lives? Like there's no way that I can fix my problems on my own. I need help. And the help that I need doesn't come from other people all the time. It may come through other people, but the help is from the greatest good on this earth, and that is the love of God. You know, it's infinite for me. What might be the benefits of allowing a higher power to work into our lives? The benefit is, you know, I've become, I've been saying this lately, and it's true. I've become a lot of things to a lot of people. And that's great. You know, but I have to balance that out with um, again, you know, with I'm in a different position in my life now, where, you know, I'm really trying to connect more uh with my wife because we don't have any kids in the house anymore. And there's other things, you know what I'm saying? And there's time, this is like, you know, unless one of them starts come crawling back home or starts making some grandbabies, which is doubtful. Well, maybe my son will pop out a couple of kids, like, dude, it's gonna be us. And this is like the shit that you've been praying for. You I can't wait until it's just us, and now it is, and you're like, well, who the fuck are you? What? That's this fucking cheese you like? Wait, you crazy? That shit is fucking trash, bro. Anyway, I'm trying to get closer to her, and there's been some misalignments. We're working on it. Likely, uh maybe we'll get some outside help, which is nice. Because the truth is, is that like it's not that we don't love each other, it's not that like we have different the only thing we have is ineffective strategies. And that's the uh truth. I don't know, I guess that's a helicopter or a plane or whatever. Yeah, we have ineffective strategies. That's the only thing I'm looking. I'm not looking to change my wife. I'm looking to change the strategies that her and I use to come to agreements or to get through things together. Because she is an amazing, amazing, amazing woman. And I'm so lucky that she feels the same way about me that I feel about her. I don't know how amazing she thinks I am, but I'm just saying that like she loves me so much and I love her so much, and she would never on purpose try to hurt me, neither would I, but it doesn't mean we don't hurt each other. And we gotta get through that. How do I feel knowing that a higher power is caring for me and working in my life? Dude, I feel let me grab my pen because is where we're gonna stop. There's there's a couple of more sections here. Next one is spiritual principles. Fuck. Spiritual principles, and then soon we're gonna be on step eight, man. Oh, make a list. Where's the pen? Okay, you know, how do I feel? I feel knowing that I have a loving, a loving God in my life. Like, I feel so blessed, and I feel very lucky that I know what my purpose is, and I know who I am, I know what I want to do with my life, you know, and I'm already who I want to be. I just want to be better at who I am, but I'm already who I want to be. You know how can I transmit the goodness of this life to enough people so that they can also understand that there's goodness on on this earth. You know? There's a lot of sorrow, there's a lot of pain, there's a lot of wasted energy, wasted time. And there are people who they're suffering, man. And they might not be doing bad things to other people, but they just ain't doing good things to other people. Whether they know them or not. You know, it's funny, I was in I was at the Wegmans down the block from where I work by the Navy Yard. And this was, I guess, the day before Thanksgiving, whatever. And I was going into, I was going to my car with, bro, I had like fucking all kinds of, it was like a sugar factory inside these brown bags that I was bringing out of that place. It was crazy. Anyway, I'm going to my and I got my little cart, going to the whip, unloading the stuff, and there's this lady, maybe she's a couple of years older than me, and she's like, she's walking and she's like saying something to me. And I'm like, is this bitch trying to hit on me? The fuck is going on, boy? Because you know, sometimes I I think my shit doesn't stink or whatever. Anyway, so she's like trying to talk to me, and I'm behaving. I'm just looking at him like, what's up? And she was just like, yeah, she's like, see, I'm putting away my cart. I was like, okay. You know? And then she's like, yeah, not like this fucking guy. And then she points that there's like a random cart near her, I guess her car. I was like, okay. So I guess she's like, not like this asshole or whatever, right? This fuck, whatever she said. I was like, all right. I didn't, I was like, okay. I I in my mind, I was like, you could be somebody that is like you, who is, you see me, look at me. And I'm a little bit like that too, and I'll explain in a minute. I couldn't wait to stay quiet, put my cart away, and then go to where that empty cart was, and then just take it and put that cart away, and and not have anything to say about the guy leaving the cart. Like, I could just do that. And I couldn't wait to do that in front of her. Be like, yeah, just talking shit is nothing, you know. And then as I'm putting this random cart away, she's driving by and she's like, Wow, look at you. See, you're doing the right thing. Yeah. And I was just like, Yeah, I just give a little head nod, you know. And I do put away uh random carts. I always put away my own, but sometimes I put away a random one. If I see one just floating around, like, yeah, I'll grab it. It's like if everybody grabs one cart. But what's the truth? The truth is I couldn't wait to do it in front of that lady to show her how much of a piece of shit she is, talking about how somebody else is a piece of shit. You know? I couldn't wait to like put her in her place. So I enjoyed that moment too, without doing it. You know? Yeah, you're doing the see you, you're doing the right thing. You're really doing the right thing. It's driving by. I'm like, all right, Agnes or whatever fucking name is. You know. That's how we are, and that's where we are. Share and subscribe on all podcast platforms, the sober experience, our YouTube page, please uh subscribe. Uh leave some comments if you want. Um, I don't care if they're positive or negative, whatever, help us get traction. And uh if you have any any what do you call them? Any thoughts or any opinions on how we're rolling, yeah. Feel free to keep them to yourself. All right, peace.