Mark 10:1-16---Divorce and Divine Intent: Understanding Marriage Through Jesus' Teachings

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Transcript

Teaching on Divorce in Judea

Speaker 1 0:09

All right , mark , chapter 10 , verse 1 . Last week we talked about hell , this week we'll talk about divorce . So yay , it's God's word . All right , mark . Chapter 10 , verse 1 . We are cruising through the book of Mark and you know the move is toward Jerusalem Chapter 10 , as Jesus is heading towards Jerusalem . It's not a fast walk that we're doing there .

Speaker 1 0:50

In chapter 10 , jesus has ministry in the area known as Judea . Now other gospels spend more time on it . Mark has one chapter , but this time period in Judea seems to be about six months , so we're not told everything . But there are some occurrences that Mark wants to point us to , and so that's the background here . We read in verse one then Jesus arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan , and multitudes gathered to him again and , as he was accustomed , he taught them again . So easy to picture . Here Jesus is taking time to teach the people , anyone who would come to hear him , and we can just imagine the sweetness of that , to hear him . And we can just imagine the sweetness of that Jesus teaching about heaven , about the heart of the Father , about his mission , all these different things . We got to know that it was good , as Jesus sat there and taught the multitudes . I know it was good . And all at once in verse two , all at once in verse 2 , nasty old Pharisees come . Here we go , verse 2 .

Speaker 1 2:08

The Pharisees came and asked him Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife ? Testing him . So all in the sweetness of teaching with Jesus , all so sweet , the multitude's just hanging on every word . The Pharisees come and they ask a question , testing him . The Pharisees were good at this , testing Jesus . They're trying to trap Jesus . That word testing means to test , with the intention of making something fail . Right , a little different than in school , right ? Your teachers generally don't test you to make you fail . It's not good for you , it's not good for them . But it's more of a testing . Maybe you would do with metal or something like that . You want to see how far this stuff will hold up . And so testing here . The Pharisees asked Jesus a question . Their intention is to trap him and the question is about divorce . Again , their motive to trap him . So this just doesn't sound fun in any kind of way . They ask him a question there to make him fail . They ask him a question there to make him fail . Now , maybe their motive in this was they knew that Jesus' perspective on marriage and divorce was strict , stricter than most people in that world and most people in our world . Maybe they thought of John the Baptist . You'll remember John the Baptist said it like it was . He told Herod Herod , it's not right for you to have stolen your brother's wife , it's not right for you , you're wrong . And what did it do for John the Baptist ? It got him killed . So maybe they want Jesus to put his opinion out there , his ideas out there , in front of everybody . That area was Herod's area , judea there . Maybe they were trying to get him killed in that kind of way . Whatever it is , we know that their intention on this is not good . They wanted him to fail . Intention on this is not good . They wanted him to fail . So divorce , like it would be today , back then was a charged topic . The Pharisees come asking a question and the question is pretty simple Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife ? Now , in Matthew , chapter 19 , a few words are added to this . A little more is told . They say is it lawful to divorce your wife for any reason ? Right , that's different . That's even worse than what they're asking here . But you know it was a charged topic and their reference was Deuteronomy 24 , verse 1 and 2 .

Speaker 1 5:08

Not much is said about marriage and divorce , especially in the Bible . But in Deuteronomy 24 , verse 1 , it says this when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that he finds no favor , she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her and he writes her a certificate of divorce , puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house . So not a command , but instruction on divorce . Here Moses tells the people when a guy takes a wife and she finds no favor , some uncleanness , and he sends her out of the house , this is what needs to happen . And what is spoken of after this is some more instructions on divorce . But the idea here is not that it's approved by God or encouraged by God , but evil men are going to do it , evil women are going to do it . We're all going to fail and in marriage and divorce sometimes that does happen . So with the idea that people are going to do it , people are going to divorce , there's some instruction . But for argument's sake let's just look at this what we're told in Deuteronomy 24 .

Speaker 1 6:29

I guess I should have you turn there . You can hold your place here . Deuteronomy 24 , verse 1 . When a man this is 24 , verse 1 . I guess it would take you a second to find it . Deuteronomy 24 , verse 1 . A man takes would take you a second to find it . Do you remember 24 , verse 1 ? A man takes a wife and marries her . It happens that she finds no favor in his eyes , some uncleanness , and that was the big debate here . For these guys , what does uncleanness mean ? If a person might get divorced because of uncleanness , what does that mean ? And you know the story .

Speaker 1 7:09

There were two schools of thought in the day , two teachers , a guy named Rabbi Shema and Rabbi Hillel . Shema said uncleanness is unfaithfulness , infidelity in marriage . That's the uncleanness here . So if a man finds that his wife has been untrue , he could divorce her . Hillel was a little different . You know , hillel , he was a liberal , right ? He said uncleanness could be anything . It could be if she doesn't make his favorite dinner , uncleanness it could be . You know she doesn't keep the house clean like he wishes . She would right Uncleanness . And even to the point of I found somebody prettier than her uncleanness of . I've found somebody prettier than her uncleanness . And go figure . Most men took Rabbi Hillel's teaching to heart . Uncleanness was anything that just didn't please you For any reason . You could divorce your wife and this , of course , was a proof text of this . It gave them liberty to do whatever they wanted .

Speaker 1 8:30

Now , the idea of uncleanness is any kind of deficiency , and that's what that word means . But here's the thing we all have deficiencies . That's one thing you learn about being human . We all fall short , right , deficiency . One of the big things in marriage that sometimes shakes you up is the morning after you get married . You wake up and you realize you get bedhead , you have bad breath in the morning . No , my wife does not get bedhead . You know you have bad breath in the morning . Now , my wife does not get bedhead or have bad breath . She doesn't get eye boogers or anything like that . But one thing you notice . One thing you notice is we're all deficient , we're all flawed human beings , and so this uncleanness , this uncleanness , we're all messed up right In 28 years . Well , actually , we acquired this saying early on . We've acquired a saying sometimes I wake up grumpy . You know how to finish this right . Other times I just let him sleep and you know this is it , this is life , right , sometimes we have good attitudes and sometimes I'm just not very sweet , right ?

Speaker 1 10:02

And yet this was their proof text of why they should be able to separate imperfection and notice . Jesus asked them the question verse three he answered and said to them Jesus answers the question with a question , which is great , that's Jesus style , right there , and he says what did Moses command you ? And they said well , moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss her . Deuteronomy 24 , right ? And Jesus answered and said to them it's because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept . It's because you are selfish , you are sinful , you are wicked , and that's why Moses permitted divorce Permitted but not commanded . Right here the Pharisees say Moses did permit us . In Matthew we find that some of them said he commanded a certificate of divorce be given , and that's another story altogether . Isn't it In Matthew's gospel ? There he commanded

Marriage and Divorce

Speaker 1 11:15

.

Speaker 1 11:15

Isn't it funny how we can take something that involves even our own wickedness and selfishness and see it as somehow a spiritual obligation . Selfishness and see it as somehow a spiritual obligation , right ? I've heard plenty of people say things like well , god told me to divorce my wife . And you're like absolutely not , god would never tell you to do that for lots of reasons . But they go . Oh , but it's spiritual . I'm being spiritual in this . I'm hearing from the Lord . This is what God told me . It's amazing how evil we can get , calling evil good and good evil . So that's their response and it's pretty sorry .

Speaker 1 12:00

But notice Jesus , he discusses this further . This regulation was because of the hardness of your heart . God knows your stubbornness and your selfishness , your insistence on evil . And God permitted you Now in that God laid down more regulations , we'll talk about in a little bit that God laid down more regulations , we'll talk about in a little bit . But Jesus points them to the deeper command Notice verse 6, . But from the beginning of creation , god made them male and female , and for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife , and the two shall become one flesh . They are no longer two but one flesh . Therefore , what God has joined together , let not man separate . So Jesus says well , here's the real answer , guys , what did Moses command ? Well , you gave me Deuteronomy 24 , but really you should have gone further back to Genesis , chapter 1 .

Speaker 1 13:11

Now , Genesis , also penned by Moses . Genesis , exodus , leviticus , numbers and Deuteronomy they're all written by Moses . So where was the original command ? Well , it was all the way back in Genesis , chapter 1 , verse 27 . And we reference that here . If you're not in Mark , you can get in Mark . We reference that in verse 6 .

Speaker 1 13:38

At the beginning of creation , god made them male and female Genesis 1 , 27 . In the beginning , god created a relationship . He saw that man was alone and he saw that it wasn't good . So God created woman , and this is where we read he made them male and female . And he establishes this relationship of marriage very simply between one man and one woman . Right , this discusses a lot of modern issues . Right , it makes polygamy not biblical . Right , because there was only one man and one woman . It obviously makes homosexuality unbiblical , a sin , because there was only one man and one woman . No other options involved in this . Marriage was established as a good part of God's creation . That's important for us to consider , because marriage gets a lot of bad raps , but God created it as good . We mess it up , but God created it as good . One man , one woman for one life .

Speaker 1 14:55

Now , in verse 7 , jesus goes on to quote Genesis , chapter 2 , verse 24 , quoting the words of God through Moses , for two becoming one flesh . Leaving father and mother , that's an important part in marriage . For someone who's a father , that's a little heartbreaking , right , but our kids would leave father and mother and be joined to their spouse and the two become one flesh . So it's leaving and cleaving is the words used here , but it's like two lumps of clay , and this is childish , I know , but I've got a blue lump of clay and a pink . This is man and woman , right , and I want to just demonstrate this . All right , because it's cute . Right , the two become one flesh . Behold , right , two balls of clay becoming one . Ha ha , ha ha . They should use this in a wedding , right , just get right there and start playing with Play-Doh . Right , and here it is . Ho Behold , the marriage of two balls of clay . The two become one flesh .

Speaker 1 16:26

God joins two distinct people and makes one family unit . And notice in verse 9 what Jesus says about this . God joins two distinct people and makes one family unit . And notice in verse nine what Jesus says about this . Therefore , what God has joined together , let not man separate .

Speaker 1 16:41

Now another picture is here , if you can handle , another picture in the words what God has joined together , it's another picture of marriage . Right , joined together . It's actually we could use the word yoked what God has . Yoked together , joined together . And in agriculture , you know , you would take two animals , two oxen let's just say I think that's the right plural of the word ox , oxen and you would join them together with a brace connecting both of them . Now picture this . This is marriage Two individuals working together for a common cause .

Speaker 1 17:22

This is what marriage is supposed to be . This is why Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6 that you shouldn't be unequally yoked in marriage , specifically with an unbeliever , because here you are two people wanting to live for God's glory . Right ? You're a new creation in Christ , created for good works . Ephesians 2.10 says so . God has good works for you as a person , but when you get married , god has good works for you as a couple . But when you get married , god has good works for you as a couple and you're joined together in that . That's a great way to look at marriage . What is God calling us to do ? Let's do it together , right ? That should be the way marriage is , and God makes it good . He made it good , he made it beautiful . Now that's marriage Two becoming one , two joining together for a common purpose . But then verse 10 . And this is good . This is good . Verse 10 . In the house . So all the crowds go away and the Pharisees disappear In the house .

Speaker 1 18:30

His disciples also asked him again about this same matter . So they got questions . His disciples were like we heard what you said about marriage and divorce , what about that ? And they asked some deeper questions , maybe about the second part of Deuteronomy , 24 there , which basically says this In verse 11 , jesus explains it . It's great to come to Jesus with your questions . So he said to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her . And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another , she commits adultery . So some pretty hard words here . But I think they kind of apply to what's mentioned in the end of Deuteronomy , chapter 24 , verses one through four . That here's the picture .

Speaker 1 19:23

If you get divorced permitted for the hardness of our hearts if you get divorced and you get remarried , you should not return to the first husband or wife . And you know that just seems like extra information . Why ? Well , I think the reason is kind of here is you're just kind of making a mockery of the whole thing . What happens if you go and marry someone else ? And you said well , that was a mistake , I'm going to go back to the original person and remarry them . You're kind of just making a legitimate adultery in that . You're kind of just saying none of it really matters , I'm going to do what I want . You get married . Well , I have God's blessing . You get married . Well , then you're going to go back into the other person . You get married again . I have God's blessing . And you're really putting God's stamp on the whole thing . Our just kind of who cares what ? It's meaningless , I'll be with who I want to be with , I'll do what I want to do . God blesses it and God says , no , you can't do that . You just can't do that .

Speaker 1 20:26

There's consequences to our decisions . So these are all hard things . They have to do with the stubbornness of our hearts , the selfishness it always includes selfishness , at least on behalf of one person's selfishness . There's hurt , there's destruction , all these things . Well , where are we in our world today ?

Speaker 1 20:49

Well , statistic that I looked up this morning says 33% of marriages end in divorce . And you're thinking , I know you're thinking , wait a second . I heard that over 50% of marriages end in divorce . That was true . Well , is it a revival ? No , less people are getting married now than before . More people decide . You know what , forget marriage altogether , let's just live together , and when we get sick of each other we'll just move out . No harm done . Right Now , obviously that's not true , but that's what's going on in our world .

Speaker 1 21:29

Marriage has such a bum rap that we just most people just do away with it altogether . And yet you look and you go . But God designed this for good . We make it so ugly . There's so much hurt from all these things , and I know God grieves . We'll talk about that in a second . But essentially it's the cheapening that God was wanting to guard against in the first place .

Speaker 1 21:57

Now , here we see what happens again when two lives come together as one . Now you could say that happens in marriage . Paul says this 1 Corinthians 6.15 . 1 Corinthians 6.15 . Paul says this , and you can listen or you can turn or whatever , but just track with it . Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot ? Certainly not . Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her ? For the two , he says , shall become one flesh , but he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him . So Paul gives us another use of this verse the two become one . He says Corinthians I know it's the Corinthian way to go visit a harlot sexual immorality . But here's something you have to know when you join up with someone in sexual intimacy , you become one with

The Impact of Divorce on Children

Speaker 1 23:07

them .

Speaker 1 23:07

Now , it's not marriage . I don't think we should ever put on that that that equals marriage , because it doesn't . But two coming together joins their flesh together . Paul says there's something that happens in our mind and in our spirit , whatever it is to become one flesh . Now , it's not marriage , but there is that bond that happens . So in a world where people don't care about marriage but still engage in sexual intimacy outside of marriage , there's still a bond that happens .

Speaker 1 23:40

So let's just take our demonstration of two becoming one again and let's consider divorce . Right , we're going to separate these two , oh please . Well , there's some blue , ok . There's some pink , ok , there's some pink , I bet probably turn gray , I don't know what it would become . And you look at this and you go .

Speaker 1 24:07

What happens when you try to separate this mess ? Lots of pain I'm just going to say that looks pretty painful for the ball and lots of turmoil and tragedy . And we go . That's exactly what God knew was going to happen . The two become one . You take those two and you rip them apart . It's not going to be clean , it's not going to be pretty , and God knows what these things are made for . And he says don't do it . Don't do it , it's not what you were made for . Now it happens and there's so much pain and so much grief and I just picture the heaviness in the room as Jesus , oh , he knows what's best and he's there in that room and he's explaining these things to his disciples . And I just got to think , you know , it kind of just weighs on your heart when you think about all the people you know or whatever that have been through it and you go pain , suffering tears , and you go pain , suffering tears , all these things . And I see Jesus and you know most of our Bibles . It just stops right there and we could go on to the next study next week and say this is a good place to stop , but I think it's actually attached . Notice verse 13 . We're going to attach it all , right .

Speaker 1 25:32

Then they brought little children to him that he might touch them , but the disciples rebuked those who brought them . They're kind of lame and doing that , by the way , but anyways . But jesus saw it and was greatly displeased and said to them let the little children come to me , do not forbid them , for such is the kingdom of God . Assuredly , I say to you , whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it . And he took them up in his arms and he laid his hands on them and he blessed them . Man , is there anything sweeter than seeing Jesus take little children in his arms , just hold them and bless them , love them . Just hold them and bless them , love them . And I think maybe he needed it at that point , you know . But I think it's a great picture here to see We've all seen it the pain and destruction that comes through divorce , especially to the little ones . The tears in the middle of the night , and Jesus loves them , especially to the little ones , the tears in the middle of the night , and Jesus loves them .

Speaker 1 26:39

Now we got a couple minutes and we're gonna go to , I think , one of the most misused passages in the Bible , malachi chapter two . Can't talk about divorce and not talk about Malachi chapter two . Malachi is the last , the Italian prophet right , the last book of the Old Testament . So the easiest way to find it might be to go to Matthew and turn to the book right before that Malachi , chapter 2 . Malachi is a little bit of a debate between God and his people and I got to say the people in the book are really snotty , right . God's people are like when did we ever do anything wrong ? Read the book . I mean they'reused as concerning divorce , we beat people up with Malachi 2 , 16 .

Speaker 1 27:54

For the Lord , god of Israel , says that he hates divorce . Did you know ? God hates divorce . Let me say it again to you , those that have been through divorce God hates divorce and we just beat people with it in the church . We beat up little kids with this verse God hates divorce . Your parents divorced . God hates divorce . Don't divorced , god hates divorce , don't you know it ? And you know we like to find things God hates . That we're not doing , maybe , and we just hold it over the people that have had that trouble and people have been beat up with this verse . But I want to see the heart of God in this . Let's back up to verse 13 . This is the second thing you do . They're having a conversation . This is the second thing you do .

Speaker 1 28:39

You cover the altar of the Lord with tears , with weeping and crying . So he does not regard the offering anymore , nor receive it with goodwill from your hands . Yet you say for what reason See you hear that so snotty ? For what reason ? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth , with whom you have dealt treacherously . Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant , but did he not make them one , having a remnant of the Spirit ? And why one ? He seeks godly offspring , godly children . Children are involved . Therefore , take heed to your spirit and let no one deal treacherously with the wife of his youth , for the Lord , god of Israel , says that he hates divorce , for it covers one's garment with violence , says the Lord of hosts . Therefore . So here we see the whole picture . God says look , I got this against you . You're covering the altar with tears , doing whatever you want , leaving the wife of your youth . She trusted you and you've done treacherously . I hate divorce . God says , not because he hates people to get divorced , but you know , and you can see it here , he hates it because of what it does .

God's Restoration and Grace

Speaker 1 30:09

It takes and just rips apart lives , the kids , the adults , everyone . It rips apart the good thing that God made and I think Jesus takes the little kids up in his arms and he says love you , blesses them . That's good ministry right there . He takes people who have been through it , even people who have done stupid things with their marriages I think there's a certain amount of . He might take those up and like give them a little whooping first . You know that probably would be appropriate . God does that . But we mess ourselves up so badly and you look back to Genesis . It's a good thing and God looks and goes it's good . I made it good and we mess it up so badly . But the grace of God would come in and fix what we've messed up so many times . Bring some joy out of those tears and he can do it . God , heavy stuff , I think .

Speaker 1 31:18

I just want to thank you for making life good . Though , god , we look at your original intent and you've made so many things good for us . Your heart towards us is so kind . You're so patient . Your heart towards us is so kind . You're so patient . God , help us to look to you for what we need in this life . God , I just pray for those that have been through it . Maybe it was their fault , maybe it was someone else's fault . But , god , I pray that you would just restore the years that the locusts eat . God , you're so good to do that . You forgive us , you restore us , god , your heart towards us is so kind , god , in all these things , that we would see the good things that you have for us , that we would follow you and obey you . Our own stubbornness we'd set aside God . We need your grace even for this . God , work these things in our heart . However you want to God , we trust you .