Listen if you want to feel confident

Students and Newly Qualified social workers... this is for you if you want to feel confident.
In this bitesized episode I'll be talking you through 3 steps
-Replacing the phrase 'imposter syndrome'
-Reframing your perception of confidence
-Reflecting on what will change when your confidence does

My membership, The Collective, is for Students & Newly Qualified Social Workers who want to feel confident and calm. Join to get through your first year without burnout, and practice skills to last your career.

socialworksorted.com/thecollective

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vicki@socialworksorted.com

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Hi and welcome to Social Work Sorted, the podcast. I'm Vicki Shevlin. I'm your host, and I founded Social Work Sorted, an online platform for newly qualified social workers.

I'm an experienced children's social worker, previous Child Protection Conference Chair, and I started Social Work Sorted so that newly qualified social workers could connect theory to practice.

 My mission is to help you bring confidence and calm to your first year as a social worker.

Because I know that when that happens, you are able to positively influence so many of the people around you, including the children and families that you work with.

This podcast is all about practical guidance, realistic advice, and amazing insights from the wonderful guests that I have joined me.

So whether it's a bite sized episode, something to reflect on, 

or an entire conversation for you to soak up, you are so welcome. If you want to know more about the ways I can help you as a student or newly qualified social worker, or even a workforce development lead, then make sure you go and have a look in the show notes. And I'll also be reminding you at the end of this [00:01:00] episode.

Before we get into it, just a reminder if you find this episode or any of the other episodes helpful.

: Please take two minutes to leave a rating, a review, get in touch with me and share it with somebody else.

I'm so grateful that this podcast is part of your social work journey.

​So the title of this episode is listen, if you want to feel confident, and we can't talk about confidence without talking about the myth of imposter syndrome. This is something that I spoke about when I did a presentation for social work today, we talked about the myth of imposter syndrome and really who benefits from you believing that you have imposter syndrome.

Because I want to tell you, imposter syndrome isn't real. It's a label that we give to a feeling that actually ends up minimizing the problem. What do I mean by that? Well, usually imposter syndrome is followed by a full [00:02:00] stop. So, oh, I can't do this because of my imposter syndrome, or this all went wrong because I've got imposter syndrome.

I'm feeling really nervous because of my imposter syndrome. And we use it as a label without actually explaining where that feeling has come from. What I invite you to do if you often feel like you are saying sentences like that, if you often feel like you are referring to your imposter syndrome, is to step back and think about what is coming up for you when you're in these situations.

You know, if you're a student and you're going out on placement and you're thinking, I've just got massive imposter syndrome, I want you to describe what's going on for you without using that specific phrase. It might be, okay, well, I'm feeling this way because I'm really nervous and I've never done this before.

That's not imposter syndrome, it just means that you haven't done this before. It doesn't mean that you don't deserve to be there. It doesn't mean that you've failed before you've even started. It just means that you are doing something new. And when you bring it back to that, when you think, actually, I feel this way because [00:03:00] I've never done it before, it helps us think really rationally about it.

The alternative to that is thinking I've got imposter syndrome, and then we've just got this defined problem with no solution. And we let ourselves sit with that. And if we bring it back to the idea that, oh, it's me because I've got imposter syndrome, we are internalising something that is actually going on in a wider system.

I see the same thing happen for newly qualified social workers. You know, I'm really worried about chairing this meeting. I've got imposter syndrome because I'm the youngest one in the room and everybody else is more experienced than me. Well, let's take it back. I'm really nervous about chairing this meeting because I haven't chaired many meetings before and I haven't seen anyone else do it or I've only watched virtual meetings.

I've never actually seen somebody do it in person or I've never done that in person or I've never had to chair a meeting and write up the notes at the same time. So we've removed this label of imposter syndrome and we're actually just looking at what's going on for us. Okay, well if I've never [00:04:00] chaired a meeting before.

And that's why I'm feeling this way. What can I do to learn the skill of chairing a meeting? Who can I talk to about this? Can I practice something out loud? Is there a resource that I can look at? Is there something I can listen to that's going to help me chair that meeting? 

Side note, I have a whole podcast series on how to chair a meeting. So if you're feeling that, if that's very specific to you, you can go back and listen to it. But the point that I'm trying to make is that when we remove this label of imposter syndrome, we can actually become very solution focused. And instead of blaming something that is kind of floating in the air and is this reason without a solution, We can just look at what we need to know.

We can start to reframe things. And often those reframes, rather than saying I have imposter syndrome, it's just saying, I've never done this before. No one has shown me how. I'm feeling really nervous. I've never seen anyone do it before. I'm worried that I'm going to get it wrong. I really care about my job.

I really care [00:05:00] about what I do and I want to do it well. I don't want to cause any harm to anybody. All of those things are much more helpful reframes and probably much more accurate than you just saying, Oh, I've got imposter syndrome. And so if you want to feel confident, I want you to first unpick where that self doubt comes from.

And if you find yourself using a phrase like imposter syndrome, I want to challenge you to remove that from your sentences and actually just look at what the problem is. And this relates to social work because actually what we do in our assessments sometimes is we dress things up with the language that we use.

We think that we need to add in the fanciest language. We think we need to elaborate rather than just simplify things. And actually we can have. A entire court statement or an assessment written in the most elaborate language but it doesn't mean anything. We need to pull it back, we need to simplify, we need to try and explain things to a six year old.

And how would you explain imposter syndrome to a six year [00:06:00] old? It would be quite challenging. But you can say, I'm nervous because I've not done this before. That's a much more simple explanation. So when you're doing something for yourself in your own reflection, it is always going to help you in your social work skills as well.

The second thing that I want to invite you to do, once we've looked at imposter syndrome, is unpicking what confidence means to you. Thinking about the most confident person that you know. Or how you perceive them to be confident. I'm really pairing back on what you think confidence is, because if you would have asked me, I don't know, five, 10 years ago, I would have said that confident is equal to loud.

I would have said that the most confident person in the room is usually the one who is talking loudly or is expressing themselves in a huge way. Or maybe I would have said that confidence is the person who knows everything, who has an answer for everything. But I don't think that now, now, when I look and I think about confidence, I think about being comfortable with silence.[00:07:00]

I think about the people who are really okay with not knowing everything. The people who say, I don't know the answer to that, and I'd really like to know the answer to that, or I'd like to find out. The people who aren't there with the big exaggerated gestures, but are calm and in control of what happens and really grounded.

And it's not to say that one is right and the other is wrong, but it's actually about you unpicking your idea of confidence. Because a lot of the time, confidence is, I don't know. But I'm willing to find out. And we often think that we're never going to be confident until we have absolutely all the answers.

Now, I believe that confidence comes from knowledge. It's why I do what I do. It's why I share skills based resources. It's why I have the entire learning hub inside the collective, because I believe confidence comes from. Knowledge and confidence comes from understanding and confidence comes from looking at [00:08:00] theory and being able to connect that.

But it's not so we can say, ha, I know everything. I know the answer to this and that. It's so we have something to ground ourselves in to say, well, this is the information, this is what's happening. Let's look at it reflectively. So unpick your idea of what confidence is, because if you believe that confidence is the loudest person in the room.

Is the person who is yes, a hundred percent certain on everything. And there's no other way. Maybe that's what's stopping you from being or feeling confident because you don't think you're there yet, but is that really where you want to be? Just reflect on it.

And the final thing that I want you to think about, if you feel like you are lacking in confidence is what would change if you did feel confident. What would be different? And we do this, don't we, when we sit down with families who maybe do want to make changes and they want their lives to be different.

But if you haven't done that for yourself, it's even harder to do it when you are working with people. So what would be different if you felt more confident? [00:09:00] What would change? And why would it change? Because if you want to feel confident, you have to understand why

I know, and I'm going to come back to the idea of chairing meetings because for me, that was something that I really struggled with. If I go back to me as an ASYE and I think, you know, what would it feel like if I was confident in chairing meetings, I would feel really calm walking into those meetings. I would be okay with pausing the meeting and encouraging people to go outside if things were getting a little bit tense.

I would be able to politely interrupt people if I felt like they were going around in circles or telling me information that we'd already talked about, or moving away from the meeting being child centered. And once I'm really clear on those things, once I'm really clear on what my meetings would look like if I felt more confident, I would have something to aspire to, I'd have something to aim for.

And that means I could look back and reflect as things started to change. Because quite [00:10:00] often our confidence grows, and we don't even realise it's growing. Because it's happening so fast and we're working at such a fast pace, we're often not slowing down enough to look at it.

So if you're struggling with confidence, if you listen to this because you want to feel more confident, there are three things that you can do. Number one, remove the phrase imposter syndrome from your sentences and see what happens. Number two, start to reflect on what you think confidence really is.

What are you comparing yourself to and is it realistic? And number three, think about what would change, what would be different if you did feel more confident. Write it down. Look at what you're aspiring to. You'll be able to reflect on the changes that happen far more easily.

It is very, very hard to build confidence when you are feeling alone or lonely on your social work journey. The Collective is my membership where confidence and calm go hand in hand.

You can find out more about the collective in the show notes. 

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. Like I said at the start, if you enjoyed it, if you took something [00:11:00] from it, please take a couple of seconds to leave a rating or a review 

I always love it when I hear back from you about the impact of the podcast. So feel free to email me as well.

Anything specific mentioned in this podcast episode will be in the show notes.

And here are some reminders of how we can stay in touch,

along with the ways that I can help you become a calm and confident social worker.

Firstly, I have a free newsletter, The Space. This is a weekly email sent out to students and newly qualified social workers.

With curated links and recommended reading and listening that I know you will find useful in your newly qualified year.

Secondly, I have an amazing membership, the collective. This is an online membership for students and newly qualified social workers. When you join, you get access to a learning hub full of bite sized video resources and downloadable eGuides. 

These are all specifically focused on the tasks, the policy, the legislation, the theory and the practice skills that you need in your first year as a social worker.

We have a private Facebook [00:12:00] group where you can access a weekly Q& A thread for any questions, queries or reflections that you have.

Members are also invited to a monthly live zoom call with me, where we have a Q and A, but also take time for mindfulness, reflection, and meditation.

The collective is for students and newly qualified social workers who want solution focused, practical support, advice, and mentoring from me.

If you align with any of the values of Social Work Sorted, if you are looking for realistic, practical advice, if you are a strength based and solution focused person, 

If you often feel overwhelmed and crave resources that are bite sized, digestible, easy to access, available for you to watch again and again.

Rooted in the practical skills, but also underpinned by theory, then the collective is for you. Head to the show notes where you'll find the link to join. 

Thirdly, I have e book guides and video courses available

For students and new social workers.

Who are looking for support and [00:13:00] clarity in specific area, the child and family assessment guide, the home visit guide, risk in child protection masterclass and a home visit masterclass as well. Again, all the details are in the show notes.

As well as all this, I'm available to come and deliver training in person to your student or ASYE cohort.

Whether it's a skills day, part of an ASYE induction, a keynote speech, or a guest lecture, 

please don't hesitate to get in touch with me for an informal chat to find out more.

Thank you so much for listening. Like I do at the end of every single podcast, I want to encourage you to slow down

and take a pause with me before you go on to the rest of your day. Close your eyes if it feels comfortable,

or just soften your gaze.

Take a couple of deep breaths. And enjoy this moment of calm. Know that you can come back to this at any time you need to. 00:14:00] Remember, you are doing an incredible job. Take care, and I'll see you for the next episode.