The Unsung Importance of Vendor Meals: The Why, When, and Where

Embark on a journey with us as we unravel the hidden truths behind vendor meals at weddings, a topic that's sparked more debate than you might think. Krisy and Laurie delve into the ins and outs of the "why, when, and where" those working your special day should eat. It's a candid look at the wedding industry, where we're setting the record straight on the essential timing of meals for vendors to ensure they're energized and poised to capture every cherished moment without missing a beat.

As the conversation unfolds, we share personal anecdotes and insights into the real risks of skimping on vendor meals - think photographers missing shots because of hunger-induced fatigue. We're laying bare the facts and urging for contractual clarity, robust client education, and a harmonious synergy between catering and coordination. Understanding and respect for all involved parties are the linchpins of any successful event, and we're here to tell you why.

Closing our enlightening exchange, the spotlight is shone on the irreplaceable role of certified wedding planners. These professionals are the maestros behind the scenes, ensuring that photographers and other vendors can snag that quick bite without the fear of missing the first dance or the cake cutting ceremony. By tuning in, you're not just listening to a podcast episode; you're joining a movement dedicated to upholding the highest standards for wedding experiences across the board.

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Transcript

Wedding Pros Need to Eat

Speaker 1 0:00

You're listening to the Wedding Pro Podcast brought to you by the CWP Society. Welcome to the Wedding Pro Podcast brought to you by the CWP Society, where wedding planners and wedding pros collaborate to raise the standards in the wedding industry. Cwp Society is also the world's largest membership of wedding professionals and the leading wedding planner certification program. My name is Lori Hartwell and I'm the CEO, and I'm joined by my fabulous vice president, chrissy Thomas, owner of Southern Sparkle Weddings. Hi, chrissy, hi.

Speaker 2 0:45

Hi, lori, and hi to all of our wonderful listeners. Today we will be discussing a topic that has actually been quite controversial on social media here lately, and it's all about wedding pros and the when, the where and the why they actually need to eat on wedding day. And this is the topic where I didn't understand why there's controversy around it, like you've got to feed people who are working the wedding day, but when I've seen some of the comments and the people sharing it, a lot of engaged couples, actually even a lot of fellow wedding professionals, are saying the wrong things. They're kind of putting out information that to me, is misinformation about wedding pros and why and when and where they need to eat on wedding day.

Speaker 2 1:30

So one of the big things I kind of want to start off this topic, lori, with is the why, and a lot of engaged couples are saying things like I'm already paying them all this money, why do I have to feed them on wedding day? Why do I have to cover the cost of that, why, why do I have to cover the cost of that? And I kind of want to talk about that and the reason behind why. When you're kind of looking through these contracts, you're seeing things that say we, I have to be fed, my team has to be fed, and I kind of want to talk about why this is. And the biggest thing about that has to do with mainly the amount of hours a lot of these wedding pros who have this listed in their contract. How many hours they're actually working on the wedding day is a big one.

Speaker 1 2:12

Yes, I agree. I mean, yes, you guys pay us a fee, but that fee is for the service. It's not to include meals. Now, if you know kind of the rule of thumb, here is any wedding professional who is on wedding day, working wedding day for more than four hours and is there during dinner it's not an or it's an and and is there during dinner, is supposed to get a meal and the couples are supposed to provide that meal for those wedding professionals. And there are a lot of caterers that will say, okay, so we have vendor meal pricing and you can serve us something different than what all of the guests are getting.

Speaker 1 2:59

I don't need to get served filet mignon. Okay, I mean, I'll take it if you want to give it to me. I don't need lobster, but I'll take it if you want to serve that. But most wedding professionals are going to be good with just anything. It's just that we need to eat, we need a few minutes to just sit down, get that nourishment, or we're going to faint. So it is not included in the pricing of the services. Exactly, and one big thing to kind of think about when you're educating your couples, or so it is not included in the pricing of the services.

Speaker 2 3:24

Exactly. And one big thing to kind of think about when you're educating your couples, or for any engaged couples who may be listening, is you don't want your wedding pros to leave in order to go eat. So let's say, for example, you're a wedding photographer, if they are able to just sit, eat food, it's literally probably 10, 15 minutes of us scarfing down food and getting back to work. If they were to leave to have to go to the local fast, you know, drive-through location, that's going to take them a few minutes to get there, a few minutes to wait on their food. Next thing, you know, 30, 45 minutes have passed and they may have missed the next things that have happened at your wedding reception. So that's one of the biggest things is we physically cannot leave the location because we have to eat and immediately get right back to work to take care of our couples and their wedding reception.

Speaker 1 4:11

Exactly, and I think that what's happening is couples are assuming that we take an hour break, but we don't take really much of a break at all. It is a few minutes scarfing down food and getting right back out to do our job, and so it is not anything that we are like taking advantage of. No wedding planner that I have ever dealt with Chrissy has ever taken advantage of that time period, and we don't have a lot of time. We have to get in, eat and get back to work, and so what is the best way of making that happen is by having the clients provide us a meal when everybody else is eating, we grab a quick bite and we can get back out to work.

Speaker 2 4:53

Perfect. I love that. And on that same note too, lori, when it comes to us being able to eat on the wedding day, one thing that I love that my caterers will do is they'll have those vendor meals that are already kind of boxed up, ready for us to go where. Let's say that if it is a reception where there's a buffet, we don't have to go through the buffet lines, because sometimes that's guests are like what is happening? Why are they going through the food lines? And a lot of that also has to do with the timing of when we eat, because we do have to be one of the first group of people who does get to get their meal, and there is a reason behind this. There's a science behind the timing of when wedding pros eat, and this also is kind of stemmed in controversy because a lot of people are assuming that we need to eat after that last guest has finished their meal, and that is actually not the case.

Speaker 1 5:42

Let me tell you why that's not the case, because this is the biggest misconception I have ever heard throughout the wedding industry. If we waited until the very last guest ate, what happens after dinner concludes. What happens is we go right into a formality. So that means my photographer, my entertainment provider, my videographer they need to be at that formality in capturing that moment or playing the music for that moment. So there's no time to eat after the guests have eaten. So that is going to be a big problem. The wedding planner is going to be busy organizing and executing that formality, so the wedding planner can't eat then either. So that is just terrible timing. So I don't know who came up with that other than potentially just maybe the catering company, because they were thinking to themselves let's just get the clients and the guests fed and then we'll worry about the vendors later. The problem is that really puts the clients in a bad situation because you know now our vendors aren't going to. They're going to potentially miss a really big event that's going to be taking place during the reception. So there is a perfect place to put the eating of the wedding professionals into this, and that is when the clients eat. So our newlyweds sit down for maybe 10 minutes to eat their meal. Well, that's the perfect time, because nothing important's happening right During that time.

Speaker 1 7:07

This is the best and most perfect point in the reception to feed your wedding pros, because the DJ doesn't have to be on the microphone during that time.

Speaker 1 7:17

The photographer has nothing to take pictures of, the videographer doesn't have to do anything. Right then the wedding planner has no formalities to coordinate. So what do we do? We all run to a room, scarf down the food for the same 10 minutes that the client is eating and we can get right back out to work. So because right after the clients are done eating, a lot of times they like to go from table to table and greet all of their guests Well, the photographer and videographer will be ready to do that because they will be done eating and they can go and follow the couple. The DJ will be on the microphone and doing their deal. The coordinator will be able to organize and do things and be ready to go for the next formality. If you can get us fed, the wedding pros fed, while the clients are eating the newlyweds, then everything else falls seamlessly into place, and so what we need to do is just have better communication and explaining to the catering team when the vendors need to eat.

Speaker 2 8:15

And I think a lot of this, like you said, Lori, kind of boils down to that communication and kind of really having those open conversations with our wedding pros about our why and I know that's one huge reason why we started the wedding pro membership. And you know, originally this was all just for wedding planners, but now the CWP society is open to all wedding pros and one of the biggest reasons behind that is we noticed that lack of communication, that lack of collaboration, and if we just have these conversations with our fellow wedding pros, all that's going to do is just make everyone's jobs and life so much easier and everyone's going to be able to eat on a wedding day at the appropriate time and not pass out.

Speaker 1 8:56

It is a win-win. I love eating, I love not passing out. These are all good things in my book. So, yeah, I think it's important that we all talk to each other and explain to each other what each other's needs are. I feel like no one talks anymore, chrissy. So we really need to make sure that we have great relationships with all of our wedding pros, all of our vendors, all of our venues, and make sure that we are all on the same page and get what we need, and I think that that's just truly, truly one of the most important pieces.

Speaker 2 9:27

It's so funny. I was having a conversation with one of my favorite photographers and they had said hey, I've updated my contract, Just an FYI for you, sending new clients my way and I was like can you just, you know, kind of get my eyes on it, just so that way I'm super aware of what you've updated. And I noticed and I don't think they intentionally meant to do this but they forgot to include the fact that they do need a meal on the wedding day. And I said I think you accidentally took this out because I remember it being on your past contracts and they were like, oh, my gosh, I'm so glad you mentioned this, and one reason why I did was because I had a conversation with the mother of the bride during that final catering meeting at the venue and they said, oh, this isn't included in the photographer's contract, we don't have to have a meal for them. And I was like, oh, why isn't this in their contract? Like it was just immediate things for me to look at as a planner, ensuring this is in the contract. But I took that as a way to educate that client. I know this isn't listed in their contract, but we do need to provide them a meal because we don't want them to leave, and here's why.

Feeding Wedding Professionals

Speaker 2 10:24

So, For my wedding pros who are listening, if you are like you mentioned, Lori, those wedding pros who are going to be on site for four plus hours and at the reception during dinner time make sure you include this in your contract because you could easily not be fed, and that was something. Another thing I saw in a lot of these posts were planners and professionals and photographers who said I actually didn't even get to eat on wedding day. They didn't provide me a meal and I'm like was it in your contract? You know, if there's not maybe a certified wedding planner on their team to educate them about this and it's not listed in your contract, they may not provide you a meal, unfortunately and to me that just kind of opens up the box to health issues to you know things going wrong at the, you know, towards the tail end of the reception if you're not filling yourself with food to carry on for the rest of the night.

Speaker 1 11:17

I agree. I mean you don't want someone to have a low blood sugar, you don't want someone to pass out because they haven't eaten all day long. I mean, I know from personal experience, chrissy, as a wedding planner, I feel like I go, go, go, and even on just a normal day that's not even a wedding day there are times where I'm like I had forgotten to eat, or I, because I get so like locked in on whatever I'm doing, I don't manage the time thinking about myself because I'm so busy thinking about my clients. So what happens on wedding day? When I'm so dialed into them, their needs, setting up and making sure that I'm checking up on them, we tend to not eat and then, all of a sudden, we get to dinner time and we're like whoa, I'm feeling lightheaded, I'm feeling very fatigued that I'm not well, and it's because we have to nourish our bodies and so having this discussion with your clients and your catering team is going to be vital. We just need to make sure that we educate people.

Speaker 1 12:18

Now I have run into catering companies who have said well, but that's not when we feed you. And and what I've tried to say to them is let's sit down and talk about this. Let's talk about the why, because, as much as I understand your why, it has to kind of we need to find a common ground here because it can't just be your reasoning. We have to think about all the other wedding professionals, not just the one wedding professional. So I kind of sit them down and say these are all the reasons. So you know some of the ones that I've already mentioned here on this podcast of reasons why all of the wedding professionals eating while the clients are eating is probably the best bet.

Speaker 1 12:57

And how can we make that work? What could we do to make this an easier process for you as the catering team? What can we do? And we come together and we really have a great conversation and then they go. They go, oh well, yeah, no, I completely understand. That makes so much more sense now, but it's not just educating the clients. It kind of goes back to what you were saying. We have to make sure that our couples and their parents if they're the ones paying for some of these things understand that we have to feed wedding professionals, that that was not included in the service packages and you do not want your wedding pros to get in the cars, take off, go to Olive Garden for an hour, come back right Like you don't want any of that. So we want to make sure that we are making it really quick and easy for the wedding pros to grab a bite to eat and get right back to work.

Speaker 2 13:45

But I love too, lori, your approach to it, because when you have ran into that situation with caterers who are like no girl, I'm feeding you after the last guest gets fed, instead of coming at it very combative, which is I think some of these social media comments were very combative Really, yes, I mean like no, this is when I'm getting fed Like very feisty, that's when people shut down. No one really wants to listen to someone who's not coming at this in a way of like okay, I see your reasons, here are my reasons. Let's find that middle ground, and that's what we have to do as wedding pros is making sure that we're having this communication, but we're doing so in a way that's effective and not a way that's going to be combative.

Speaker 1 14:28

I agree with that. I agree with that. If a catering company that was on my preferred vendors list says, well, no, I'm never going to relent from this, like I'm never going to give in, I'm never going to compromise, then I say, okay, then we just don't. Maybe we're just not meant to work with one another and I just will stop referring you business because I really need to make sure that all of my wedding professionals are taken care of, so not everybody's going to be a great fit for each other, and that's kind of the point is we all need to find those wedding pros that we all fit really really well with. I personally just am more attracted to people who think of others as much as possible, and so hopefully, hopefully, we can all kind of get to that point and really just be there and care about it. Because I think about my DJs especially and let me tell you why.

Speaker 1 15:21

My DJs are kind of like in the spotlight, right. They're holding the microphone the entire time, the microphone the entire time and for the longest time. So I had this one DJ that I loved working with, weekend after weekend because he was so good still to this day, one of the best DJs I've ever had the uh, the pleasure of working with, and I would say, all right, I've, I've secured you a meal. And he said I can't, I'm just not going to, I can't get away from the DJ equipment. And so when I made that small adjustment and said, no, it's okay, because it's going to be when the clients are eating, you don't even have to be on the microphone during that time, you can just scarf down the food and get back.

Speaker 1 16:01

But you've got to eat. My friend. He's like oh well, gosh, yeah, if you do it, then I can eat. Yeah, gosh, yeah, if you do it, then I can eat. Yeah. But see, there's no way a DJ can eat after all of the guests are done eating, because the DJ is the one orchestrating that next formality, and so there's just no way. And many times too, you know there's so much going on that you just you have to find that perfect little timing, but it doesn't have to be long.

Speaker 2 16:24

So let's be clear 10 minutes, yeah, right we're literally scarfing food down and kind of on that thing note about the timing, you know. On the flip side, I have clients who are like, yes, we are feeding our vendors, we love you guys so much, we've actually reserved a table for you in the reception hall. We want you guys to eat there, which is so kind and so thoughtful. But there is a reason why I would most certainly prefer, as a wedding professional, to not have to eat with the guests and to have a separate room. I've even eaten in closets. I don't like eating in front of the wedding guests because I'm not a guest. And, like you said, lori, we're literally scarfing food down. I'm like a caveman scarfing down this hamburger to feel my body. I'm not being delicate, I am scarfing food down my body.

Speaker 1 17:13

I'm not being delicate. I am scarfing food down. I can see it in slow motion. The videographer is watching, you know, taking video of Chrissy eating. Yeah, I agree, I feel like we, as wedding pros, need to make sure that we're not putting ourselves in the position of we should be treated, as you know, as guests. We're not guests. I don't want to be treated like a guest. I am tired. I am tired and I would like 10 minutes where I can rest my cheek muscles from putting that permanent smile on my face. I want to be able to just eat without answering millions of questions from the guests Like oh, my gosh, like you're a wedding planner, like oh, that must be such a fun job.

Speaker 1 17:56

Like now I can't even eat because now I'm talking. So it's so funny. Like you put a bunch of wedding pros in a room with food at dinner time. There's no talking, dead silence, just us scarfing down our food so that we can run back out to the reception and get our job done. Um, and those, those are. That's a good sign if there's not a lot of talking other than like yeah, yeah, you know, that was good. That was like yep, okay, so I'm gonna go back out, so I'll see you guys in just a minute. Yeah, you know what I mean. Like it's just quick and easy. We, we really shouldn't be sitting with the guests now.

Speaker 1 18:33

I have had a photographer in the past say in his contract I will only, you know, you are, you know it's required that you, uh, serve me a meal and it's required that you seat me at a guest table, because how dare you put me in another room. I stopped referring that particular photographer. Now, that photographer was excellent, chrissy, I mean amazing. But I'm like, oh, that's not an attitude, that's not like a team player attitude, first of all. So, yeah, I just stopped referring that particular person and it was. It was a good decision that I had made for sure.

Speaker 2 19:08

Okay, when you mentioned that I had a wedding, this was only one wedding. It was this one officiant. It was a good decision that I had made for sure. That's funny when you mentioned that I had a wedding, this was only one wedding. It was this one officiant. It was the couples like their pastor. They loved him. We had to put out a special 48-inch round two-person table for him and his significant other.

Speaker 1 19:24

Stop it, so wait a second.

Speaker 2 19:26

At this wedding, you're telling me, there was a sweetheart table for the officiant and his wife but wait stop and I get so tickled and I don't think he could communicate this with his wife, because whenever she was like you know, looking at the seating chart and she's like, why is it just us two? And I was like, oh, he requested a special table just for the two of you and she was mortified. She was like, are you joking? Can I say no, no, ma'. And she was mortified. She was like are you joking? Can I say no, no, ma'am. She was so embarrassed. I think this was just him and his ego, but you saying that made me think of that wedding. That's the only way that's ever happened to me before, but I, that was something we had, to make sure that.

Importance of Wedding Planners for Professionals

Speaker 1 20:04

Oh my goodness, I honestly, chrissy, I have never, ever, had one of my wedding professionals request their very own sweetheart table. Stop it All. Y'all just need to stop it. It's so funny, but we need to have a little bit more class than that and realize, as wedding pros, this day isn't about us at all. It's about this couple and it's about their family and friends that they invited to share with them this most important, beautiful, special, unique, once in a lifetime day. So if it has nothing to do with me, I don't need to be on display. I need to be kind of a fly on the wall, a shadow on the wall and and just getting my job done, and it needs to feel seamless. And, yes, I need to eat during that day. Throw the food at me in a separate room and let me get back to work. Like that's just how he typically goes. What are you hearing on these forums about the? Where are you? Are these wedding professionals complaining or what?

Speaker 2 21:04

Many of them are saying that they prefer to be in the room with the guests. A lot of photographers are saying that because they're like, well, we just don't want to miss anything, and part of my thought behind that is that's why you want to make sure that you are recommending a professional, certified wedding planner to be a part of that couple's wedding, because you're not going to miss anything. The way that we create our timelines, we're not going to do anything while the guests are eating Any surprises. The way that we create our timelines, we're not going to do anything while the guests are eating any surprises. We're going to know, we're going to make sure that you know about these surprises, those types of things.

Speaker 2 21:37

I've seen reels and TikToks where it's like someone's like running really fast and like knocking people out of the way, and it's like when you hear applause while you're scarfing down your meal, because those surprises happen and none of the wedding pros know about that. As a certified wedding planner, it's my job to know everything and anything that has to do with that wedding day and that wedding reception. So those surprises I'm going to know about and I'm going to communicate that and time it to where it doesn't interfere with the 10 minutes of bliss that we get to eat, of eating food. I'm always going to make sure that my wedding pros are aware of what's happening during the wedding reception. That is my job.

Speaker 1 22:10

Yeah, and that's why every single wedding pro DJ, photographer, videographer, caterer, all of those wedding pros that are there during the reception and working the reception you guys know probably more than any other wedding pro, understands why a professional, really well-educated, certified wedding planner makes all the difference in the world on that wedding day. Because you guys can relax a little bit, you guys can breathe, you don't have to worry about those unexpected situations, because there are no such thing as unexpected, because we know every single thought our clients have had for the last year regarding this event and we have put it down in a very detailed timeline that outlines, minute by minute, what is going to be taking place. So if it's not on the timeline that there's going to be anything, then you, you know, while it's time for you guys to eat, you guys can actually breathe. And this is why I've developed such wonderful relationships, chrissy, with all my wedding professionals, because they trusted me. Yeah, they're like oh well, lori's working the wedding, so I know it's going to be fantastic. Uh, I know that I'm not going to be running like that TikTok video, running like because I hear applause. They're not going to have that situation, because if Lori's working this event, it's going. If I just look at my itinerary, I know that that's something I can depend on.

Speaker 1 23:32

Now, what about those weddings where there's no wedding planner hired and or maybe a wedding planner that has zero education? They read a wedding magazine and now they deem themselves a wedding planner. What if one of those was hired? That can make a wedding pro feel really uncomfortable and probably prompt them to say, yes, I'm going to need to sit close by or like right outside of the ballroom. Right, I still don't think we should sit in the ballroom, but I think being closer and more nearby, maybe behind a stage or behind a curtain or right behind the back door or whatever Just let me scarf down some food but I understand where they're coming from when there isn't a planner hired or a professional or a certified planner or a master certified wedding planner, because it does make that big of a difference.

Speaker 1 24:20

So in those situations, I get you, but you know how you can solve that problem right, like, recommend and educate your couples on why having a wedding planner is one of the biggest uh, you know and greatest decisions they can make past hiring you, and so I think that that's, that's just a really important thing. That's what we do, right, chrissy? As wedding planners, you and I are educating our couples as to why not to hire not to ask Uncle Joe, who just bought a brand new Nikon right to photograph their wedding. I'm like, hold the phone, let's have a little conversation here. Here's all the millions of reasons why Uncle Joe should not be your wedding photographer. Let me tell you why you should be hiring one of these people off of my preferred vendors list, right?

Speaker 1 25:06

So it's one of those situations where we have to make sure we're educating our couples not just wedding planners educating, but other wedding professionals educating their couples as to why. So educate them on two fronts why they need a certified wedding planner, but also educate them as to why you need to make sure that you see the copy of the timeline if there even is one, because there's not a wedding plan I can't really guarantee that there is one but you see a copy of the timeline and that when you're supposed to be eating, that no events or formalities are supposed to happen, cause let the vendor I mean let the clients know, like that means, if you start your first dance while you scheduled me to eat, no one's capturing that moment. You're gonna have to put all this together and since since you may not know how this goes hire a certified wedding planner. Here's a list of my favorite three. Pick someone from this list you can't go wrong and they will make sure everything is seamless, because that's just a little problem that can happen on a wedding day Exactly.

Speaker 2 26:03

And I had this exact conversation with one of my favorite photographers, where they I was saying hey, your food is boxed up and ready in the catering kitchen. If you want to access the sector, grab your food. We're eating in ballroom B and they're like anytime I'm working with you, I know I get to eat, and I said I was like good, of course, that's, that's what I'm here for. Well, what weddings are you working where there's not me? What weddings are you working where there isn't a wedding planner? Making sure that you eat?

Speaker 2 26:30

You should start recommending wedding planners so that way it makes your job easier and you get to eat on wedding day. It's a win-win. Why aren't you recommending wedding planners? I didn't even think about it. I'm like okay, well, I'm in this conversation, start thinking about it. Bud, it's a two-way street. Now I think some of our wedding cards may forget that it is a two-way street, but they know the benefit Hopefully they see the benefit of having that certified wedding planner on site. Well then, great, start asking your couples who is your wedding planner. You don't have one. Here's a list of my favorites and then all of our issues can be resolved and you will get to eat on the wedding day.

Benefits of Certified Wedding Planners

Speaker 1 27:09

I love that. I love that. Yes. So wedding pros recommend certified wedding planners because we will make sure you eat and we will make sure you eat at the right time so you miss nothing, and wedding planners make sure that you are educating your catering company and everybody else as to the best possible time for all of us to eat together and let people know how quickly we eat and how we get right back to work, that this is not an hour long, you know dinner break. We just want to scarf the food down and get back to work, but uh, yeah well. So thank all of you for listening to the wedding pro podcast and if you're not yet a member of the cwp society, we would absolutely love to welcome you into our loving family. We have certified memberships as well as a free wedding pro membership. All you have to do is visit our website, cwp societycom, and you can learn how to join free today. I hope all of you have a great day everyone. Thanks Chrissy, thanks Lori, bye, guys.