When Trust Matters Most: Leadership Lessons from South Asian Wedding Planning

Navigating the magnificent scale of South Asian weddings demands more than standard planning approaches—it requires masterful team leadership. In this compelling episode, Certified Wedding Planner and Educator Rima Shah of Big Guava Events joins Krisy Thomas, COO of the CWP Society, to share battle-tested strategies for building, preparing, and leading teams through multi-day celebrations with hundreds of guests.

Rima reveals why finding the right team members is her first priority, seeking out Certified Wedding Planners whose foundation of knowledge provides an essential "security blanket" when executing complex events. She emphasizes matching team size to wedding scale, noting that a 400-person celebration across multiple spaces simply cannot be managed by a skeleton crew without sacrificing quality.

The conversation delves into Rima's meticulous communication protocols, from comprehensive Google Docs shared a week before the wedding to on-site walkthroughs that orient team members to each space and responsibility. For those new to South Asian traditions, she describes her approach to cultural education, ensuring assistants understand not just what happens during ceremonies like Baraat or Hindu rituals, but why these moments matter—allowing them to anticipate needs and recognize significant transitions.

With remarkable candor, Rima shares a challenging leadership moment involving an assistant who crossed professional boundaries at a destination wedding, highlighting the importance of swift decision-making to protect your reputation and client experience. Her powerful closing advice—"Don't be scared to ask for help"—reminds planners that delegation is strength, not weakness, and that trusting your team to handle more than you might initially believe can be the difference between merely surviving and truly thriving in the world of complex cultural celebrations.

Whether you're specifically interested in South Asian weddings or simply want to strengthen your team management approach for any large-scale celebration, this episode offers practical wisdom from someone who's mastered the art of leading with intention. Ready to elevate your planning practice? Visit cwpsociety.com today to start your certification journey.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

You're listening to the Wedding Planner Society podcast brought to you by the CWP Society. Welcome back to the Wedding Planner Society podcast brought to you by the CWP Society, the world's largest membership of certified wedding planners and professionals. Cwp Society the world's largest membership of certified wedding planners and professionals. I'm Christy Thomas, the COO of the CWP Society, and today's episode is an exciting one, especially for planners navigating the incredible scale and complexity of South Asian weddings. If you've ever wondered how to build a team that can manage multiple events, extended timelines and hundreds of guests without dropping a detail or losing their sanity, you're in the right place. Today we're joined by the amazing certified wedding planner and certified educator, rima Shah of Big Guava Events, who is a planning powerhouse who specializes in South Asian weddings, and she knows firsthand how essential delegation communication and intentional leadership are in this space. Welcome back to the podcast, rima.

Speaker 2 1:06

Thank you so much for having me again, Chrissy. I'm excited.

Speaker 1 1:10

You're always such a joy and filled with so much information when it comes to South Asian weddings, and South Asian weddings are often that involve multiple events, extended timelines and those huge guest counts. What's your approach to building a team that can handle this type of scale without burning them out?

Speaker 2 1:32

Yeah. So I love to look for team members or have team members on board that have experience and not just one white dress wedding or just, you know, conferences and things like that, just a good amount of experience. I'm talking multiple years. They may even own their own business or they might have assisted on a South Asian wedding before or been part of one. So that's what I definitely look for. Being a certified wedding planner is a huge, huge plus, and, honestly, the first thing that I look for is to see it when I'm talking to another planner, because that gives me a certain security blanket. Okay, they have the education, I don't have to do that, or, you know, I don't have to explain the bare basics of a job to someone, so that automatically takes a load off of my plate.

Speaker 2 2:29

In addition to that, what I like to do is obviously have enough team members that make sense for the size of the wedding that we're servicing.

Speaker 2 2:40

Right, because there is no way we can give the quality of service that we want to give if we're servicing a 300, 400, let's say, 400 person wedding with only three team members.

Speaker 2 2:56

That's not happening with multiple event spaces and 400 people, multiple vendors, there is just so much going on and so many moving parts that you need to build your team accordingly and have enough team members so that, yes, you are that main point of contact, you're that point person between family members, the couple and, of course, all the vendors in the venue.

Speaker 2 3:24

But we also need to make sure our team is able to. Maybe, hey, if I delegate you taking care of xyz vendor, then they can go ahead and take care of that vendor, making sure that setup is going correctly without me having to be there. You know the entire maybe hour it takes them. I can be there for like 30 minutes or something doing something. But just, you know, making sure that your team members have that comfortability of working with either vendors or guests or a couple of themselves by themselves, without having someone kind of watch over them. And, of course, like I tell all my team members, I am always a text, a phone call, whatever I am here, don't worry, but I like to make sure that they're prepped and I understand their skillset.

Speaker 1 4:20

Yeah, exactly Because I can imagine. I'm so glad that you mentioned this because I can imagine, with your role on a wedding day or a full wedding weekend, with this many events, that many people you don't have time to teach, you don't have time to control. But I can imagine, though, with the type of wedding planner that you are, that you a lot of people are like oh, I want to shadow you, I want to help you on a wedding day, just so that way they can kind of pick your brain, see how you work. But it's game time. I don't have time to teach you how to throw a football when it's game time.

Speaker 1 4:50

You don't have to know it at this point because there isn't that time, which is why I'm sure, like you mentioned that security blanket of CWP and working with certified wedding planners, you know that at least they have their foundation. They may not know everything about South Asian weddings, but they at least know how to be a phenomenal wedding planner or wedding assistant. Having that foundation allows you to trust them and obviously make sure that they're going to be able to take care of your couples, because you don't have time to teach when it's actually wedding weekend. You are there to assist. You are there to work and I can't be your teacher and educator. During this time. I have to be working as the lead planner, so I totally get that.

Speaker 2 5:27

Yeah, and I and I love when people approach me, but I also am like, listen, it's not. It's not personal, it's not like we're having fun. Yes, it's so much fun to watch and be a part of it, but at the same time, we are working.

Speaker 2 5:43

I've been hired to do a job, and so I do Exactly and especially like I love when people that have such a want and a desire to be part of this industry and like it might be a college student or something like that, where I've given them a chance and I want to right, I want to have them learn stuff, but it is definitely something that I prep on beforehand that, hey, it is not all fun and games. Just because you've attended South Asian weddings in the past doesn't mean that it's the same as working one. So be prepared, we are working. We're not here to partake in any sort of way other than being there for the family couple and doing our job.

Speaker 1 6:36

What are some qualities that you look for when you are hiring or selecting someone to be part of your planning team, especially for these culturally specific events?

Speaker 2 6:46

Yeah, so I definitely look for people that can handle pressure in very fast-paced environments.

Speaker 1 6:55

Yeah.

Speaker 2 6:56

That just comes with the game. It just is what it is. I need, you know, sometimes my team members will be able to spot something. I cannot be everywhere at once, right, so it's really helpful when I have a team member who has experience as a CWP and has that education and stuff, because they're catching things that I may not be around for physically, but something that we have to address with the vendor or the venue or the couple or whoever it needs to be appropriately. For example, I had a wedding. There was an incident with the catering. There were live action stations where they're making the food live and all that. So there's supposed to be two specific chefs that the couple had wanted. Had you know it was in their contract, it was yeah, and so I was managing something else.

Speaker 2 7:56

I was dealing with something else and, luckily, when my team members happened to be there where they immediately were, likeima those chefs like both of the chefs aren't there one of the events team, team members from the hotel, so like a banquet, like manager of that manager, just threw on an apron and hopped behind the live station to do it and that's something that I I was all the way across in like a totally different area of the event space, but like there's no way I would have seen that or caught that if my team member didn't have just the second, you know, the mom, if you want to call it, or the planner, eyes, just eyes, and ears, kind of everywhere. That's a skill that definitely builds the more.

Speaker 1 8:47

It's that initiative, and I think it's that initiative, but it also showcases you as a leader, because you provided them with that information where they they look through the contract. They were familiar with it and that way they were super, hyper aware of it. So I do want to ask you you, you know, can you walk us through what team communication plan looks like for you, especially leading up to the wedding and during the wedding weekend, because that that automatically smart me to think oh, I bet meetings with them, I bet they were reviewing the contract with the eo. So that's why this planner was hyper aware of this.

Speaker 2 9:19

Isn't what we came for yes, I is something that I may not always share contracts and so, specifically because I want to respect, like the couple's privacy, things like that, but key things that are in the contract that the vendors are committed, committed to fulfilling my team knows it. So, of course, like I like to just give them a brief detail when I'm making my team hey, this is kind of like the hours, event days, et cetera, just like a very, very basic information, and then, as we get closer, I like to obviously give them more info about a week before the wedding, as soon as I get everything out, I like to say seven to 10 days before the wedding. After I get everything out to my vendors and wedding party family, all that stuff, then I sit and make a mega Google doc. I just it works for me, it's easy for my team members I make a mega Google doc folder of all of the final full details, so it's broken down per day and per event.

Speaker 2 10:27

They have all access to all of the goods, so like timelines, floor plans, music, contact info for wedding party and family members, contact info for vendors, venue, all of that stuff as well, so that for sure they get that before we even have our team meeting, sometimes though asterisk, sometimes when south asian weddings, there are last minute details and stuff. So I do try my best. But you know, my team is really great. They gave me that link and ct. I always like to have all my full final materials when I go over it with them during our team meetings. I always do week of, so that way you know exactly, yeah it.

Speaker 1 11:16

And, like you said, there's so many changes and updates and I'm sure even obviously on day one with any wedding there's gonna be things that modify. But at least that week everything's kind of finalized. We want them to be in it with the most accurate information, Exactly. Then you walk through anything as well. Yes, definitely through anything as well.

Speaker 2 11:33

Yes, definitely so.

Speaker 2 11:36

When we first all get to the property, I like to get there the afternoon before, say.

Speaker 2 11:48

Even if it's like an evening event, which is our first event on a Friday, I'm still getting there a full 24 hours before. Why? Because the families are already there, couples are there, guests are getting in, they have they brought in so many items that we need to set up and break down and that we're going to be helping them out with throughout the weekend before I, my team, comes in, either the afternoon or evening before as well, to start. You know I'm already prepping, but I walk them through the prep and you know hey, this is where everything is. This is what our inventory is, which they already have in all their timelines per event. So they're. You know we're reviewing things multiple times and then we're also doing a walkthrough of each of the spaces, each of the event spaces that we have, going on, from where cocktail hour is to where the barat route, what that barat route is looking like, which is the groom's processional, to where ceremony reception, all of the different things are.

Speaker 1 12:55

And putting like what you've sent them in paper format. Now let's walk through the entire space. So, again, another way that you're allowing them to feel comfortable and that you're with what's going on, because there's hair email like that. Again, that showcases your leadership, because they can't be of assistance to you if they don't have this information and for you, listening. This goes with every single wedding, even your white dress weddings. You have to prep your assistants. I know this is something that we talk about with Haley, who is our assistant specialist and our certified educator here, but with every wedding, you definitely want to make sure that you're doing this. But, gosh, I can't even imagine what South Asian weddings, because there's so many moving parts and so many details. So, on that same note, with there being so many events, so many moving parts, how can you ensure that every team member understands the expectations and the traditions involved, especially if maybe they're not super familiar with it?

Speaker 2 13:55

Yeah. So I love working with people who want to learn about South Asian weddings and have never worked on one, and with that I like to give them information beforehand on whatever type of religious ceremony that we're doing. So, say it's a Hindu wedding or an Islamic wedding like a Nica, I like to give them kind of like a broken down hey, in the Hindu wedding, this is about what are the, I guess like the program, but just a long format version of a program. So Bharat, okay, what is a Bharat? And an explanation of it. And then, okay, what is? Why do we? Why do they do certain steps in a Hindu ceremony? The explanation of it. And then, okay, what is? Why do we? Why do they do certain steps in a hindu ceremony? The explanation of it.

Speaker 2 14:40

So, even as the ceremony is going on, yeah, a lot of it may fly by, but at least a lot of the key moments they're able to see and notice. And, okay, I know that when the couple starts walking around the, the sacred fire, that's our cue to start passing out, maybe like a little favor box that the families have made and wanted to get given to the guests or something. So a lot of times that helps. I also like to do a one-on-one with those team members, even either before or after our team meeting, whatever works out for schedules. But I like to have a one-on-one conversation with them to walk them through all of these different traditions and what to expect as well. And it's a lot of hey, this is kind of where you're going to be doing and this is what you're going to be handling. This is where I'm going to be or what I will be handling. So, just so they also start being able to piece together that puzzle mentally for them. And again, that just helps them be prepped better for the weekend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 15:50

And it helps them continue to keep working with you, because that's so. That way, if this is something they want to keep doing on a regular basis, every single time you guys have a wedding, they're just all that's doing is expanding on their knowledge, and when their knowledge is expanded on, that makes your job easier as a lead wedding planner, because they know what's going on. They're taking care of their duties without accidentally or unintentionally messing things up.

Speaker 2 16:14

And speaking of messing things up, and speaking of messing things up, we don't have a podcast without a crazy story.

Speaker 1 16:21

So what's one delegation that you made in the past and what did it teach you about trusting your team or even about yourself as a leader?

Speaker 2 16:30

Yeah, so this one is a hard story because it's still pretty like traumatizing. Not going to lie, my hair is beating loudly.

Speaker 1 16:43

All of my listeners. I want everyone to listen to her with grace, but your therapist is still traumatized, but I'm glad you're sharing it. I'm glad I love your transparency, because all this is going to do is help anyone who's listening hopefully learn from that and not make this mistake that you made.

Speaker 2 17:00

So I this is more about hiring someone incorrectly or basically I shouldn't have hired this person and I did because I was trusting and, yes, I looked at resume references trusting and, yes, I looked at resume references, all of that and things checked out and it's not like we just had, oh, like a month of a conversation of both. Like my, my event schedule and her personal schedule didn't align up. So, for whatever reason, we were talking for a good probably six months before she actually came on for this wedding to to work for me, which also happened to be in cancun and during covid era. So a lot of, a lot of stuff, um, mixed in, right, everyone's already stressed out all those things. But I'm like, cool, I have myself, I have have my other team member and that's my husband, not assistant, so, whatever, it was a pretty small South Asian wedding. It was less than it was like maybe 70 or 80 guests or something, and it was literally just us on this resort, all inclusive of resort and camp here, awesome, yay.

Speaker 2 18:28

But we're not there for vacation, which I had when I did my team meeting and other conversations, meeting and other conversations. I always stress, hey, we're not there for fun as much as a guest, or even the couple will tell you yep, drink with us, take a shot with us, like whatever. It's okay, you're not working now. No, we're always working. An environment like a destination wedding, even when you're off. You're on um because you're off. You're on um because you're in. You're going to be having breakfast at the same place. The next table is like the groom's aunt and uncle or something, and so it's a very intimate environment. And now we're also the only people on the property.

Speaker 1 19:09

We're the only people more of a spotlight on us?

Speaker 2 19:13

yes, so we get in and there's red flags, basically at the very first dinner that we're having, and this person gets just too drunk, whatever. So I have a conversation with them in the morning. I'm like, yeah, this cannot happen again, otherwise, like I have to, you're fired, sorry. So, anyways, the first event happens nothing I don't hear anything from. Actually. There's four of us team members. I'm so sorry. So there's me, my husband, my regular team member and this new person Sorry, this is key, because the next day morning I were working, we're working and my other team member member she's like rima, who's been with me for years.

Speaker 2 19:59

She's like rima, I gotta tell you that, uh, she had, she had a drink at last night's event and no, that's a no-go and that absolutely cannot happen. Okay, so we're already like strike two at this point. The ceremony yeah, so this is already ceremony is done. Now, by the time I hear this, the ceremony is done. Now it's a half day. The next day is the reception. So I'm already like okay, let me figure out what I need to, then I'll be done.

Speaker 2 20:30

Meanwhile, all the guests, the couple, the rest of my team members, everyone's at the pool now, including the rest of my team, which I told them like go to the pool, whatever, just stay in one corner, like we'll just do our own thing on the side, um, and we'll let the guests do whatever they want, but like we don't want to interfere with them or, like you know, make them feel weird or anything, We'll just be like in our little corner party space. And so anyways, long story story short, she ends up getting way too drunk. I fired her immediately, just I pulled her inside into like a private space and I was just like, hey, listen, this is not working out. This is extremely inappropriate. But this is your, your contract is terminated, or you know, we're done like. This is a no-go.

Speaker 1 21:20

I know this impacts you a lot and why it's still like you mentioned. Your heart is still beating. It's because of the reputation that you built for yourself. Yes, and this is something that hayley and I talk about in her podcast is that your assistant is a representation of your company, which is why you really you bet it. You did what you're supposed to do. The person showed their true colors once they started to work. So sorry this happened to you, but I love that. It was that you didn't just let it go Like you were like okay and we're done, like you talked to her right away, you acknowledged the problem. Never again problem happened again and then you cut it off as soon as you could.

Speaker 2 21:54

But yeah, yeah, and like, thankfully, my couple, the family member, guests, everyone recognized that. We also took immediate action. One, including the venue, was extremely under. They're like rima, no, like you fired her. We recognize that and we also let like our whole team know as well that, like, this person is part of, like this group, this team. They are just a solo guest traveler now and but unfortunately, due to covid, she had to stay behind and yeah, the whole thing.

Speaker 1 22:27

But I learned, I learned I learned and then you, you can learn it in the best way that you possibly can. Now reema, as we wrap this up, for planners who are maybe just building their team for their upcoming South Asian wedding. What's one piece of advice that you wish someone had told you earlier about organization and also delegating effectively?

Speaker 2 22:49

Don't be scared to ask for help. That is the biggest thing, biggest piece of advice, because delegation is a form of asking help. You're asking your team members to help you out when you're delegating roles and responsibilities to them and having that trust right, having that trust in them, you have to trust that, yes, incidences like what I said, things happen. It's life, but we can't let it stop us from trusting other people. They did not do this to us, it was some other person. So, trusting your team members and don't be afraid to delegate. And don't be afraid to delegate more than what you think your team members can do, because they can do a lot. They're amazing people.

Speaker 1 23:39

And I'll have to piggyback off of that and, I think, to do exactly what you do with your teammates. So for those of you listening who are planning South Asian weddings or even just white dress weddings, you need to prep your assistants, you need to provide them with the appropriate documents, you need to really educate them on family dynamics, you need to make sure that you're giving them appropriate hours that way they're not burning themselves out the whole entire weekend. So it is definitely a balancing act of trusting, but also of preparing and making sure that they are ready to go and to represent you and your company well. Josh Freeman, thank you so much for sharing that story that I know was quite traumatizing for you and still is, but also for sharing your incredible knowledge and giving us a behind-the-scenes look at how you approach leadership and organizations with your weddings.

Speaker 1 24:28

Now at the CWP Society, we believe certification and continuing education are the keys to elevating our profession. No matter where you are in your planning career, becoming certified sets you apart, gives you confidence and connects you to a community of professionals who are just as committed as you are. If you are not certified yet, become a certified wedding planner today, it's time to take the next step Visit cwpsocietycom today to start your certification. No-transcript. No-transcript.