We Are Power Podcast
The We Are Power podcast is the podcast for your career and your life. A weekly podcast with listeners in over 60 countries worldwide where you'll hear personal life stories, top-notch industry advice, and key leadership insight from amazing role models. The podcast not only aids your personal and professional development but also delves deep into conversations around Gender Equality and Social Mobility. Each week the We Are Power Podcast will bring you a new interview from a leader within the 100,000-strong We Are Power community, hosted by Simone Roche MBE.
We Are Power Podcast
Listening to Understand with Simon Calderbank
This week we are joined by Simon Calderbank, Positive Leadership Mindset Coach and 2024 Northern Power Women Awards Advocacy Lister.
Listen as Simon shares how a cancer scare led to him finding a passion-driven career.
Learn about Simons work in coaching, with everyone from corporate leaders to troubled teenagers.
And hear the inspiring story of a woman who overcame a toxic work environment to land her dream job with the help of Simon's coaching.
Listen to learn:
- How to use your privilege for good
- The importance of self-reflection in allyship
- The role of empathy in leadership
- How Simon earned the nickname 'The Mindset Magician'
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Hello and welcome to the we Are Power podcast Northern Power Women podcast. For your career and your life, no matter what business you're in. Hello and welcome to the we Are Power podcast, and this is the podcast where I every week get the chance to talk to brilliant role models, get some of their insights, guidance, top tips, hacks, all those other cool stuff and those quotes that I always love and think that needs to be on the side of a tote bag or a greetings card range or something like that. But that's what we want. We want this to be practical. The strategies, advice, top tips, guidance, whatever that may be, and whatever you're here for, whether you're navigating your, your career path, your life, whatever it may be that's what the podcast is all about. Talking to fabulous humans and this week I am again delightededly welcome one of our fantastic 2024 Northern Power Women Awards advocacy listeners. Wow, that's a whole mouthful, isn't it? Simon? Simon Calderon, positive Leadership Mindset Coach. Welcome to the pod, simon, that's so kind.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think you got me a tote bag, so I'm thinking now hard about what I can say that can be on a tote bag. I thought a billboard would be good, but a tote bag wins it hands. Thinking now hard about what I can say that can be on a tote bag. I thought a billboard would be good, but a tote bag wins it hands down, but no snow. Lovely to be here with you today in this wonderful. Yeah, the sun is out there, but the sun is. I think the sun is shining not just in the sky, but I think the sun can be shining as well, holistically, through what we do at northern power women. So, yeah, I'm delighted to have been nominated to be on that list.
Speaker 1:Make our own sunshine. That's what it is about. So what? Well, I'm always fascinated as to how people get to where they got to, because it's not suddenly. You know, I'm not. You know, I don't think I woke up one day and went, right, I'm gonna set this whole community up or do this. And on the way, yeah, well, maybe no. But at some point, when did I think, right, I'm going to set this whole community up or do this. And on the way, yeah, well, maybe. But at some point, when did I think, right, I'm going to join the Royal Navy, then I'm going to do this, then I'm going to do a bit of hospitality, then I'm going to absolutely set this whole stuff up. But were at that point that you go, I'm going to be a positive leadership mindset coach, where was that from? What's the background of the build-up?
Speaker 2:okay, great question. I'll keep it as short as possible. I set up a business in 2013 called big nose, as you do, because everyone said you're dead, nosey, you're curious, you've got quite a decent size nose. I was all okay and I was basically working within the creative and digital sector looking after people's new business marketing, and I've done that for years, so I was good at it, I enjoyed it, but then I got a cancer scare in my nose of all places, so thankfully it was benign. But what it gave me was I had to take eight weeks out from the business and it gave me a chance to reflect and I'd realized that something was missing in my world. I could do the job I did and I ran the business well. But my a chance to reflect and I'd realized that something was missing in my world. I could do the job I did and I ran the business well, but my mojo had disappeared.
Speaker 2:I was kind of going through the motions, but the one thing that was consistent and constant was I loved helping people. I'd help people way, way all through my career, from being an undertaker that's another story to working in hospitality, running nightclubs, restaurants, doing sales always have basically solving people's problems. And then it kind of dawned on me as I was sat in the sunshine in Cumbria thinking why am I helping other people when, as in helping them make money, when the most important person I need to think about is me? And therefore, if I do that, what can this person then actually offer out to the world? And someone says people always come to you and talk to you and you listen, and you've not just got a big nose, you've got big ears and bloody hell. And it just kind of transpired that they said people tell you stuff that they don't tell their closest. So something about you appeals to people to share secrets and share their troubles. So I said, right, okay, so that kind of.
Speaker 2:So I suppose from business development I kind of migrated into personal development and decided to take a leap of faith which cost me a marriage, if I'm honest. My wife, or ex-wife, said this is why we can no longer be together. You take too many risks. And I said it's the right thing to do and it will benefit not just me, it'll benefit you, it'll benefit the kids. And she went how do you know that? And I said I kind of just know.
Speaker 2:And that's what I did 18 months of learning a brand new world, a new language I suppose in terms of psychological theory, what had the brain works and being taught and coached by some incredible mindset coaches in the Northwest. I was really fortunate to come across people who had my back and who gave me the opportunity to, I suppose, shift in terms of learning. I had no money, so I took loans, I took major risks, but you know what? Obviously, the marriage side of it I can't really comment on, but it's the best thing I ever did, because now I feel that the job that I do is not a job, it's a passion and that's been the difference and my kids are better for it. It me and my ex-wife get on handsomely well and she can now see the decision I took. It was the right thing to do so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was because of a cancer scare in my nose and having the time to think and reflect about what was important in the world a few things sort of jump out at me from there that you know the undertaker, you know hospitality sector, sort of different, different ends of the scale there. But I'm almost fascinated. Yeah, I spent a lot of time in the hospitality sector. I think it's 92% of the population of the world actually have worked in hospitality at some point in their careers. And you also talk about mentioning you know that empathy is at the core of what you do. You have to be that in the hospitality sector. Do think that served you well, you know, because I think sometimes there is no such thing as a one straight path, is there? Some people are braver to take risks, some people are kind of more sort of structured. But do you think some of that that enabled you to sort of make these risks? Because you know you brought empathy into what you were doing and you knew that of make these risks?
Speaker 2:because you know you, you brought empathy into what you were doing and you knew that it would make sense, because you knew what you cared about humans yeah, I think even when I was answering the phone as a nine-year-old, when my stepdad was on call because he was the undertaker, so I was I'd answer the phones when he was out. Obviously, you know, um, dealing with, let's say, people's passings, and I can't say I enjoyed it, but I got it. It taught me well but what it meant. I was dealing with people who were suffering, so it became normal. And then I was promoted into washing the cars, okay, and then I was put in in the front office on a Saturday morning to deal with people who came into the chapels of rest to say goodbye to their loved ones. So I was surrounded by it. Therefore, it just became normal behavior to be gracious, to be respectful, and I didn't know what empathy was as a teenager. I probably didn't know what empathy was until about 10 years ago.
Speaker 2:As a teenager, I probably didn't know what empathy was until about 10 years ago, but I was demonstrating it in my daily life and I was raised by three women my mum, my auntie and my older sister. So my stepdad didn't really come into the house until I was what, 15, 16. My dad had left when I was four, so I was surrounded by women who seemed to naturally exude this warmth. They were resilient and there were no pushovers as I can remember, but they gave me a sense of purpose. They gave me confidence. They also taught me how to treat people, which my stepdad did. He was very polite. P's and Q's taught me how to hide a handkerchief, shirt, loads of stuff, so I had really good role models.
Speaker 2:And then the work that you do you take your behaviors into the workplace and you said hospitality, natural, looking after people, making sure they felt good, making sure they had a, you know, an enjoyable experience dealing with them if they had complaints for me. Me it was like I'll go and see Simon why he's good at that stuff, and people would come to me and go and just offload, be it customers, be it colleagues. So it just became normal and I enjoyed it because I knew how it made people feel and that was the bit for me, that was magic. Knowing what I could do would make people feel not so much better but reassured or relieved, and sometimes better was my drive. It was like a drug which was free, and it's something that I could deliver. Therefore, I just wanted to do more of it.
Speaker 1:And you talk about your household. You talk about your dad and you talk about this matriarchal household, your mum, your auntie, your big sis. Was that your trigger for this passion of allyship?
Speaker 2:Looking back it was. But I didn't have that moment of truth until actually somebody picked up on a post I'd done on LinkedIn a few years ago, and it was an old friend. And she said who are you to tell me as a man, as a white, csi, gender male, to tell me, as a woman, how to think and behave? How, how dare you? And I was gobsmacked and also disappointed that that's how my words had come across. So I apologized and said give me time to think about it. And my auntie passed about two weeks later. I mean, she'd been, they'd been coming, but she passed. And I suppose when people pass you have the moments to think and reflect. And it suddenly dawned on me, you know, because she said what, how can I listen to you? What do you know about women? And I'm thinking all my clients are women, women procure me through HR. I'm thinking that's not it, that's not it. And then it's suddenly done.
Speaker 2:I was raised by three women and that for me was the moment of realization that that's why I do what I do, because I was nurtured in a female environment. So therefore, and I know, women are more empathetic than men, not neurologically, the way their brain stems are formed. They've just got more ability to create connectivity and I think that's kind of given me that understanding and validation about why I do what I do. But no, I didn't know that. I just thought, oh, women buy me because that's what women do. It's more that fluffy mindset coaching development.
Speaker 2:I never really thought about it until somebody called me out, and then that very same person, when I'd done this huge piece about why I am who I am, I asked her to proofread it and she cried reading it because she said it now makes perfect sense. I said, yeah, but without you and your calling me, I would never have realized what it was. So I said thank you so much. And again, she's been there all the way through the last three or four years supporting me, challenging me and keeping me on an even keel.
Speaker 1:So and it's interesting because I know you work very heavily with female leaders across the north. Um, and I want to come back to that in a second but you talk about you almost stopped in your tracks like called out, you went away, reflected and then you wrote this piece over here. So how do we change that? Because how do we get more male allies? And intentional, because there's an element that if you are called out or stopped, it might stop other people or can't say that? Can I say that? Can I use that language? What right gives me as a man to use my privilege for good? So you could have easily?
Speaker 2:She used those exact words, simone. She used the white male privilege. That was the line that made me oh, it hurt. Not because it was, because I just thought is that how I come across to others?
Speaker 1:But what would you?
Speaker 2:So yeah, the privilege bit was really uncomfortable, but a great learn.
Speaker 1:How do we create more Simons, right, and different Simons, because we need you know, we need different types of allies, don't we? There's no sort of, there's no cookie cutter here, you know, because that's not going to be diverse. But how do we stop people going oh gosh, I'm too afraid to be an ally because I don't want to say the wrong thing.
Speaker 2:I think, firstly, look in the mirror. Look in the mirror and have a really good look at yourself and, I think, take the time to ask yourself what am I doing? What can I do differently? Who needs my help? And, once I understand who those people are, ask them. I've got some great advice many years ago and it stays with me today and I use it all.
Speaker 2:And this might be one for the tote bag, which is read your market and then feed your market. So, in other words, listen to the very people that you think you have the ability to help, because they're the people who will give you all the answers, and that, for me, that's the key thing that I think a lot of people don't do. Well, I've got a great idea. Okay, then, why is it a great idea? Because I think it is Maybe not the best approach. So, for me, talking to your audience, but you need to know who the audience is, and then you go and ask them and you canvas them and you find out and you listen, you understand and then you come back with solutions, but you run them past those people as well. So, I think, look in the mirror and ask yourself those key questions who am I, what am I doing? Who am I helping? How am I helping them and how can I do that better and more effectively?
Speaker 1:And it is listening. Isn't it Asking and listening and then taking those individuals with you on kind of the next steps? Tell us what you're most proud of in the work that you've been doing specifically around female leaders.
Speaker 2:I was going to say my kids, then I'm most proud of my kids, but obviously they're not. They're not work related, yet, um, I think every customer, every client, every project that I work on gives me a very, gives me a sense of gratitude. They're all different because they all have different challenges, whether that's a senior leader in a big sort of global corporate, or it's a startup entrepreneur, or it's a young person, a teenager who, let's say, has different learning requirements, or a troubled teenager who are, I suppose you could say, let's say, on the edge of tipping into the abyss. There's so many, there are so many different outcomes, but what they all, I think the key common denominator is that they all realised that the answers they were looking for were always within them, and what they'd done and this is the bit that gives me the most purpose, I think is they'd reached out, they'd sought support from an outside or an external, someone like me or another coach, and had let that person in. Because, as a coach, my job is to, as you said, ask lots of questions, but then listen, and listen to understand, not to reply, and by listening to understand, you can then ask more, I suppose more probing questions that then elicit, because the answers are always within us. It's just needing someone to be able to help you, I suppose, unpick them. Unlock them, because normally they're kind of hidden away for very good reason. So it's difficult to pinpoint the successes because there's so many of them.
Speaker 2:In fact, one woman who was literally couldn't even look at me in the eye. She was successful, but she was frightened. She had lost all her confidence. She was returning back to work. She had two kids. She couldn't make a decision to save her life she won't mind me saying that and she went through a programme. She went through one day. Then she went through a much more in-depth programme with me. We helped her with career choices, mindset, leadership, and she was in a toxic environment in a big corporate. She took leave, she left, she got the job of her dreams and she said to me she said I would never have ever, I wouldn't even gone for the job in terms of applied for it if I'd not met you.
Speaker 2:That's powerful. She got the job. She heads up. She heads up a department within a big global telecoms company and she's brilliant. But she always knew that, but she'd forgotten how to find it and all I helped her with was uncovering the magic which she'd always had. So that's probably my, that's the one that really. That's. All I could say is yeah, so basically helping her find her voice, her confidence, her mojo. I think she can call me a magician, which sounds a bit bit weird, but you know, that's maybe that's it the mindset magician, that's it the mindset magician how many tote bags do you want?
Speaker 2:just the one maybe, but double-sided, I don't know. But she was yes and she's. The best thing is this particular person has referred me on. That's the best testament I can ever have. She's passed me on to people who would never normally come to me in their hour of need a because they didn't know I existed. Or if they did know I existed, they perhaps didn't think they could trust me because obviously the male, white, privileged, etc.
Speaker 1:But no that the people that she's passed on have have really benefited, because all I've done is help them unblock the barriers that they were holding them back and this is and this is why sort of that real sort of allyship, and I know this is part of a role in your coaching, but this is why, outside of that, this is of allyship, and I know this is part of a role in your coaching, but this is why, outside of that, this year you were nominated and successful to join the very first in all girl, if you like, the very first Northern Power Awards advocacy list.
Speaker 2:By that person as well, the very person we talked about. It was she who nominated me. There's the nice segue Amazing.
Speaker 1:And why is this important to you? What are you most proud of and what is next?
Speaker 2:why is it important? What, being part of the northern power women? Yeah, I think. Firstly, to be around like-minded and kindred. Like-minded souls, kindred spirits, people who don't just talk about making change, they demonstrate it. I was touched.
Speaker 2:I went to the event last year and I walked out completely gobsmacked, mesmerized. I've never had so many goosebump moments as I did that night and I just thought, wow, there's kind of, there's my, not my audience, there's my community of people who make change, who are making a difference. And that really got me. And I never expected to be nominated. I was absolutely bowled over. I was just chuffed with being nominated, as in, chuffed with being put forward. So to be part of that initial list was, I mean people say, humbling, but it was Because I look around the room and I'm sat with you know, nazir. Okay, I've met you once and here I am again and I'm on the same stage as you now and I'm kind of you're in my world and I'm in yours. So that, for me, is powerful, being around people who want to make a difference. And there's more impact with a collective, so much more impact with making changes, creating more allyship around within men, if it comes from the right place where there's thousands of voices, not just mine. Someone said how can you make change? I was all by joining a really powerful community called Northern Power Women. Again, it gives me the chance to be part of. You know, one thing I've learned is that there is power in the collective, there's more influence and, you know, you are a role model for that community.
Speaker 2:And I saw that on the second event I went to, which is the one where we were nominated, and I just took a different attack. I just sat back and watched the one where we were nominated and I just took a different attack. I just sat back and watched. I chatted to I think it was um, to kim, it was next to me. We just chatted all night about all sorts, but primarily about our roles in how do we help make society more equal and obviously we can do that within our own business community, the northwest but how do we create the ripples and that go across the regions, the countries?
Speaker 2:You know I want my daughter, ella, not to feel that she has equal rights in in the work that she chooses, in how people treat her. At the moment I don't think we're nowhere near that yet. It's better, but as we discussed off, you know off record the the landscape is. It's uncomfortable because it's run by the wrong people, and that's all I'll say on that. We need to change them. What's it? Change the mood. Music, to coin a phrase, and I think we're doing it and it's getting louder just needs to be amplified now, and you and the community is the way to do it, and I'm proud to be part of it.
Speaker 1:And I'm really excited about what we're going to, what we are taking forward, what we are going to grow and move through. This is never about a pin badge, it's never about one night. It's about what we do with the power of the collective. Mr Simon, thank you so much for joining us and being so candid with us and passing on your skills and knowledge. We look forward to working with you, changing the mood, music and um, listening to understand. I think there's my tote bag moment. That's my, that's my uh clinton's card. Other brands are available.
Speaker 2:Uh, simon, thank you so much magician, they mindset magician then not mindset magician.
Speaker 1:I'm going to phone a friend on that one. Thank you so much for joining us and thanks to all of you. We know these conversations matter. We know that the insights, the tips that you can take away to enable you to do this is the power of the collective. It's more that we can do better together. You know that's what it's about. So thank you for listening. Thank you more that we can do better together. You know that's what it's about. So thank you for listening. Thank you to our fantastic guest, simon. Please stay connected on all of our socials facebook, linkedin we are power. Tiktok. Instagram. Twitter we are power underscore net. Look forward to catching up with you next week when I'll be talking to yet another phenomenal role model. Thank you so much for joining. My name is samoa. This is the we are power podcast in what goes on media production.
