Still Becoming One
Still Becoming One
Marriage Over Kids?: A Kid's Perspective on Marriage Positive Parenting
What happens when your parents protect their marriage like it’s a living, breathing thing—and you’re the kid on the other side of the doorknob? We invite our daughter Lily home from college to talk candidly about growing up in a marriage-first home: the Friday date nights, the weekends away, the moments that felt lonely, and the rituals that made her feel chosen. Her reflections are warm, honest, and surprising—especially when she describes how boundaries and trust became the real glue.
Welcome to the Still Becoming One podcast. We are Brad and Kate.
SPEAKER_03:In our more than 20 years of marriage, we've survived both dark times and experienced restoration.
SPEAKER_00:Now, as a licensed marriage counselor and relationship coaches, we help couples to regain hope and joy.
SPEAKER_03:We invite you to journey with us as we are still becoming one.
SPEAKER_00:Let's start the conversation.
SPEAKER_01:Hello everyone. Welcome back to Still Becoming One.
SPEAKER_03:Welcome back. So Yeah. We're podcasting at night. Not that everybody would know that. And we have a really fun, exciting guest with us today.
SPEAKER_01:Yay!
SPEAKER_03:It's Lily.
SPEAKER_01:So for everyone listening who doesn't know who Lily is.
SPEAKER_03:Our middle daughter who went off to college for the first time a couple months ago. And it's home because she decided she still likes us. So she came home for a little visit. Lucky us. And we invited her to come chat with us about growing up in our home and in the middle of our marriage, since most of our podcasts are about marriage. Welcome, Lily. Thank you. Cool. Awesome. What's the thing that most surprised you?
SPEAKER_04:Um probably that I was actually like ready for college. I at the end of high school was like doubting that I was even ready to like go into a more rigorous like learning um style and things like that. But I feel like I fit in pretty well with like my classmates. And so yeah. Very cool. Awesome.
SPEAKER_03:Well, we're glad, believe it or not, we miss you a ton, but we're glad you're loving it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_03:So yeah, so we wanted to have a similar conversation with you, and why not have it with a lot of people listening? Um, just kidding. About yeah, what it was like growing up with us as your parents. And we encourage Lily to be honest, she can share the the goods, the bads, the whatever else.
SPEAKER_01:Um yeah, so for most of Lily's life, for pretty much all of Lily's life, we had been very marriage positive and intentional on trying to figure out like marriage being a priority.
SPEAKER_03:Sure. So a little different than our oldest. Sure.
SPEAKER_01:And you know, that certainly does have some consequences, right? Like there were absolutely times that we prioritized time, the two of us, that did not include you.
SPEAKER_03:Oh any any of the kids, any of the kids. Any of the kids, we didn't just exclude Lily.
SPEAKER_01:I'm curious like what that was like for you growing up. How did you recognize it? What did you see, and what was that like?
SPEAKER_04:I mean, I mean, I never really felt like you were like excluding me. Like, obviously, if I needed something, you were always there. Um, and there are multiple times that like your date nights on Fridays you would skip because I had something that you would come to. So it's not like you like didn't come to like my shows or something because you had date night, but um, yeah, I mean I always told people like at school, like, oh, Friday nights I'm free because like my parents aren't doing anything. Like my parents have date nights, so I'm not doing anything.
SPEAKER_01:Like, but what about even younger? So in high school, when you had some freedom, I think there was definitely a place where you were able to be like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna go out with friends because I know they were not doing anything family or anything like that. What about like younger? When you were in like elementary school and stuff, when you had lots of babysitters, or even mom and I would be intentional in going away for a weekend. I'm curious what that was like.
SPEAKER_03:And like the weekend one that might that might get her. She was yeah, she was a homebody.
SPEAKER_04:I did not like when you guys went away. Um, but that was me. Also, like having my brothers take care of me sometimes wasn't my favorite thing. Or my grandparents. Um, yeah, I don't know. Like, I kind of didn't like when you guys went away for a lot of times for like longer periods of times. I didn't mind the Friday night stuff because like I knew you were sometimes you were even in the house, but just we weren't allowed to bother you. Um but when you would guys would go, when you guys would go away for like weeks or a weekend, um, especially when I was younger, I didn't really enjoy that. I I'm definitely a homebody and like love spending time with you guys, so that was something that I didn't like as much and had to learn to be okay with.
SPEAKER_01:Um what do you what do you remember feeling about those trips? Like, because we usually, when you were younger, tried to coincide it alongside something that you got to do. Something somewhat fun, or you know, something like that.
SPEAKER_04:Like like we were going on vacation, like going camping or whatever.
SPEAKER_01:Camping, or you'd go, you know, somewhere, you know, other times it was a grandparent coming to stay at the house and we would go away. I'm just curious, like, yeah, what what you thought about that?
SPEAKER_04:Um, I think the times that like we would go camping. Did you guys even tell us that you were like going somewhere else?
SPEAKER_02:I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:I think if we I don't remember if you did or we did. We communicate, we were always big on communicating with you. We didn't want you guys to feel like we kept something from you. So if you were going camping with Grammy and Grampy and we were using that opportunity to go away, you guys knew we were.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So but I wasn't sure you said we always planned something or something for them to do. I wasn't not always okay. You meant like camping or stuff, gotcha.
SPEAKER_04:Because I distinctly like remember like with camping and stuff, like being okay with it because I had my brothers, but um more when it was like my grandparents coming over here, my brothers were still here, but it felt different because like you guys weren't at home, right? Um, something different about like being in a place like where you guys should have been, but you weren't. Um, like I guess not unsettled me, but made me like anxious.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I think our our attunement level to you, Lil, was different than grandparents.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_03:Which is somewhat understandable, but also like we just yeah, we were able to kind of uh most times know where you were at and like how you were feeling. And I think grandparents didn't always like they weren't able to meet you in the same way, kind of thing.
SPEAKER_01:Would you say you understood or could say why we were going away?
SPEAKER_04:I mean, definitely when I was in high school, like I could understand that. I hope so. Um I hope so. Um, when I was younger, like I understood that you wanted to spend time together, but I think what I questioned was why we couldn't be spending the time with you. Oh like that's so sweet. Oh, stop. Um, but like I was like, they're going away, but like, why can't I come with? Like, not even Ken, like not even my brothers, like, you don't need to take me. Just take me.
SPEAKER_03:Like, I love that.
SPEAKER_01:But at and at what point did you maybe get the message or it was there a time that it clicked that we were that it was unusual, that we as parents were prioritizing time together, and that wasn't something you saw or heard about?
SPEAKER_04:Um, I would say like, because I went to private school for a while. So like a lot of those kids had parents that were married, so that wasn't unusual then. But then when I moved to public school, I would say I start started realizing that less parents were together, um, like in total, and even sometimes weren't even married at all, like we're just living together, like whatever. And you know, I don't think I really realized like why you guys were prioritizing time together until like probably middle school. Like, I saw the differences in elementary school, but I didn't really see like the reason why until later.
SPEAKER_03:Um well, in middle school too, we went through COVID, and I remember dad and I having to transition from like, okay, we're gonna do a date night at middle school too, was when you guys were able to we felt like you, as the older three, were old enough, because that would have been when M, our youngest, came in too. We're old enough to stay home alone, right? So we didn't have to worry about babysitters anymore. But then COVID threw a wrench knit and we had to do date nights in the house and be like, go find something else to do, go entertain yourselves.
SPEAKER_01:That's when we made the doorknob or doorknob sign that said, like, we love you, but get out of here. Do not just go away or something like that.
SPEAKER_03:But I think that probably coincides with middle school for you, Lil, of like kind of it becoming more clear.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I that and I think that's an interesting thing. You know, when we're working with couples all the time, I think one of the things that we hear most often is that it's kids' responsibilities, if not kids' activities, that keep parents from doing stuff together. That they're prioritizing time with their kids one way or another over marriage. And I, you know, obviously, I hope that we still prioritize time with you at some points, but you know, we're sitting here talking about like what it was like for you to see that we prioritize time together. I I'm curious, like, yeah, do you think that was a positive overall? Did it hurt you in some ways? Like, whatever. And you know, we can we could hear whatever. I'm sure there are things that you didn't like about it, too.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, Ian said she wanted to, why couldn't she come with?
SPEAKER_04:Why couldn't I come with? That was definitely when I was younger. It was like, why couldn't I come with? Um, because I just wanted to be around you guys all the time.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Um, not that I didn't like my brothers, which I very much did, but you know, I just wanted to be around you guys because I loved like you guys so much. Um, still do, by the way. Um thanks for the clarification. You're welcome, you're welcome.
SPEAKER_03:Um you can tell where Skip the snark from, guys.
SPEAKER_04:I would say that I thought I was fine pretty much a lot of the time. Like sometimes you guys would miss uh tennis matches for stuff where even and and date night and stuff, and I was fine with that because like you guys would come to other ones and obviously the away ones like you weren't coming to, which is totally fine. Um, I think the only time that I kind of felt like a little like I don't want to say butthurt about it, but like um a little like salty that you guys were away was the one time you were on the cruise and you missed my homecoming.
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yep.
SPEAKER_03:Wait, we were on a cruise. We were pay we were working.
SPEAKER_02:We were.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you were working.
SPEAKER_04:Make it like yeah, you have to do it.
SPEAKER_01:And and also the cruise was scheduled first. Yeah, we didn't we didn't know that homecoming was then we had to go.
SPEAKER_04:And we'd already blame you for doing work or whatever. But like I wished you were there. And like I know I went over to my best friend's house, and like they're like a family to me, so it was fine.
SPEAKER_03:But um, you know, that was a series of unfortunate events, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And that was something that I was like kind of bummed that you couldn't be there for. Yeah, I think that was my tenth grade. Yeah, was that 11th grade? I don't remember.
SPEAKER_03:No, but I think it was 10th grade. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember now that I hear that. Wait, before, but I think we should pause here, guys, because this is what we do. Like, you know, you have kids, this is what we do. Lily, and we should probably unpack. Lily and I were out earlier running an errand, and she used this expression butthurt, and I was like, what is this expression? It's apparently a new expression. And I was like, Well, it's the first time I've heard it. Oh, now you're gonna make me look old. It's new to me. How long's it been out?
SPEAKER_04:I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, and butthurt means like that you just don't feel great about it. Like, okay. So I got butthurt about that. Okay. Okay. Um now she's sad because I'll use it all the time and she'll be like, Mom, stop. Darn it. You're gonna be butthurt about it.
SPEAKER_01:Would how would you say, if if at all, did your friends ever comment about things about us doing marriage ministry or us doing marriage things or any of that kind of stuff? Did your friends recognize any of those things?
SPEAKER_03:Were we annoying?
SPEAKER_04:Um so um my whole friend group has parents who have happy marriages. I was gonna say, you have a unique group of friends now with uh one of my friends, their mom didn't have one in the beginning, but now is in one, a really good marriage. So either way, they're all in happy marriages now. Um so my immediate friend group, no. Um which is Do you think there's any connection there?
SPEAKER_01:Just saying.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:That Lily that you gravitated to other people that had secure parent relationships.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, but there have been people who didn't sure of course my one friend. Um her parents are divorced, and and you know, we've been friends for since elementary school. Um I thought like sometimes I didn't I didn't understand what she was going through, she didn't understand what I was going through. Like it it was a difficult relationship to have, definitely, because we didn't really understand like each other's life. Um her parents separated when she was quite young, so it kind of was very different for us growing up. Um I wouldn't say that like people would just like come up to me and talk about it. Um, I mean, when I people asked me what my parents did, I would just say they're counselors. Like I wouldn't really say like their marriage and family counselors unless people ask more questions. Um and then if people did ask, I'd be fine with telling them. Uh definitely in focus, my club, that was like for Christians. A lot of people would ask questions about it. Um, whether you guys like supported premarital or whatever, like questions because Christians want to know these things, I guess.
SPEAKER_03:Um you you had you've made several comments though that people peers would think because how have you said it? Because we were married, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha. Okay. I I felt that pressure, not that saying like anybody came up to me and was like saying, Oh, your life must be perfect, like that never happened. It was just like if I ever mentioned anything that was wrong in my life, people would go, Well, at least your parents are married. Like, and I'm like, Okay, yes, like thank thank God for that. Like, I'm very happy about that, but like also my feelings should be validated that sure, like something else is happening, whatever it was, like right, right, yeah, yeah, I get that. So I think like in high school at least, since there's this big like thing about divorce and all and separation of parents and whatever, it's a big part of people's lives. It's an automatic thought that like if your parents are married that you have an easy life.
SPEAKER_03:Do you think it I'm curious if you think it could be that the support is there? That they assume you have all the support you need, or life is Yeah, maybe.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know. Yeah, I think it got even more reinforced that I could have this perfect life because I would say like that you guys were happily married.
SPEAKER_03:Rude.
SPEAKER_04:Because like there there are marriages where people are not happy, right? Obviously, but um when I would say like my parents are in love and they're very happy with each other, and like they go on date nights every Friday, and like all this stuff, people would think that like automatically my home life and my my childhood was perfect. Like interesting, like though my childhood was amazing, and I'm very grateful for those years. It's like there things happen, like right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Well, and I and we can honor our family was through your high school years and middle school years going through some really hard stuff. So I can see how that would be hard if they're assuming that. And then it feels like there's kind of no place or safe space, other than I know you're your quad, you're a really good group of friends. You could and we love them. They're amazing, they're all like they're all like family, but it would make you feel like, oh, because my parents everybody assumes this, I can't really share what's health is this one.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03:And it almost also could make it like, well, why is that happening if your family, your parents are so great? It doesn't make everything.
SPEAKER_04:And the quad was really the only people in my life who knew the totality of like what was going on. Um so like they understood uh that my life was most definitely not perfect and that I struggled with many things throughout high school, sure, mainly anxiety and and all that stuff. Um, but like, you know, it was just like even my one friend who had divorced parents, she often would be like, Well, your parents are married, like, but then she kind of figured out like what was going on in my life, and and she rethought her her her what she said before. So sorry.
SPEAKER_01:So we kind of started with this idea that one of the consequences of us having a a marriage, positive marriage, was time, right? That it's taking away some time. What would from your perspective, what are the consequences, either positive or negative consequences?
SPEAKER_04:Um a positive is that every time that we would be together, I knew that it was like that it was um like specific time with me or with my my brothers and us. Like it like I knew that you guys had set aside this time to be with family, and that felt really like um like I was being loved. And like, I mean, not that you weren't loving me when you were um spending time together, but it I could feel the love um from you guys because you were setting aside that time uh for us uh specifically, and especially like with mom later, like we would watch a TV show every night to just like debrief together after some hard days, and and that was really like um a positive within like like I knew you guys were setting aside time for me. Um I I really don't think there were many negatives when I was older because I understood more what the purpose of you guys spending so much time together was. When I was younger, I just kind of felt like well, they don't want to spend time with me, like what's going on? But um we loved spending time with you, and I know that now, but when I was a little a little uh six-year-old, I was like, but they don't want to be with me.
SPEAKER_03:I'm just trying to reassure you, not invalidate you. I get it. No, I know, but I we loved spending time with you, but I get that. I think that is something a marriage-positive couple has to realize that it's going to play into people's feelings of loneliness and potential rejection, even if you're not trying to. So I think that's another thing.
SPEAKER_04:I think you guys you guys made up for it in the the deliberate like spending time with us, being like, This is when we're gonna spend time with Lily, this is when we're gonna spend time with like Micah Kent, like whoever, like, even if we were doing it together, like one of us could choose what we were doing. Like you would make sure that each of us got time to choose what we were doing, spend time with you, like whatever.
SPEAKER_03:That makes sense. Is there anything you can think of marriage pot for marriage positive parents who really you know prioritize their marriage? Anything that you would recommend that they keep in mind or that they do that they maybe aren't aware of?
SPEAKER_04:Um, that's a good question. Um I mean, even like if you choose an you guys chose Friday nights for your day night, you would still on Friday nights like make us feel wanted, um, make us dinner, tuck us into bed, like you would still do the things as a parent that that made me feel loved, but be spending more time with your spouse. And like I think that's really important that like you don't just like leave them, your children, and just like okay, this is our date night, like we won't see you until tomorrow. Like just like still being there, even though you're spending time together, being available, even because I always knew like if I really needed you on date night, like you'd always be there. So it it never felt like I was interrupting um if I truly needed you.
SPEAKER_01:So flip it for parents who are maybe right now prioritizing their kids because their kids need a lot of time, their toddler elementary school age. What what would you tell them that you've learned by growing up in a different way?
SPEAKER_04:Honestly, uh it might be like for me, it was hard to not be around you guys, but it was for the better because I learned to actually be a person by myself and not be a person that was only through my parents. Um, which goes along with like my Christian faith and all, because like a lot of times, you know, you're going along with what your parents are, and you have to separate yourself from um your parents' exact views and find your own views. And I think it's the same way, like you have to be separated from your parents to be able to grow. And so, like, I would encourage that like people, I know it feels like you're tearing yourself apart from your like child possibly, um, and then you're not spending enough time with them, but like truly it's probably for the better of the child. I mean, obviously, don't just like neglect your child, but um fair enough, like right spending time with your child and giving them space are two very important things.
SPEAKER_00:Sure.
SPEAKER_03:I'm curious, you just made me think of something. How, and I realize I'm asking you this on the fly, and there's loyalty, and I don't want you to think you have to answer in the affirmative or the positive, but how do you think dad and I did? Because I do think we were super intentional about, especially with you older three, because we always honor things have been a little bit different with Emily, but with you older three, with kind of at 16 saying like letting you explore your faith more. I mean, obviously you can explore it as far as reading the Bible and being in youth group and doing all different kinds of things that way, but we actually got to a point where we're like, if you want to attend a different church, if you feel like this, like we tried to open up that for you guys. Do you think that was helpful? Do you think we should have done it earlier? Do you think it would yeah, I'm just curious?
SPEAKER_04:I uh I don't think I think you did it at the right time because before 16 I wouldn't even had had thought about even changing churches or even thinking about being different than you guys. Um that wasn't even a thought in my mind that I could be a different religion than than you. Not that I am now, but um I I think you guys did it at the same time or at the right time. Um but yeah, I mean I I'm happy you did it because I think I would have been more reluctant to look at Eastern or any other Christian school because like I didn't feel free to make a choice about my religion. Um and I'm like glad you did, and and like even now, and even with like my oldest brother, like he's learning different things about the Bible, and so am I, and you guys are always willing to listen to what we have to say, and I think that's and even if you don't agree with the the stance that I am taking or whatever, like you never make me feel invalidated for my beliefs, but challenge me to maybe think differently, or or just say that's an interesting standpoint and leave it at that. Like yeah, um, and I think that truly is like what's allowed me to be independent because I don't feel like I'll ever bring shame. Like I don't think you'll ever feel like disappointed in me. Like I know you never would, even if I have a different view than you, you would never put that against me. And so, like, you know, you guys giving me more freedom earlier um allowed me to realize that like no matter what I did, there was nothing that was gonna make me um be like shameful in your eyes.
SPEAKER_01:So okay, I was just curious. I'm not ready to ask this question, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Um, so you're oh no, you're 19. How do you think that that our marriage positive, for lack of a better term, um, relationship has impacted what you're looking for in a dating partner?
SPEAKER_03:How did I know that he was gonna ask you? Well, I got like we got like three-quarters of the way through the question, and I was like, oh, okay, we're going there.
SPEAKER_04:The funny thing is, is that I always say this to people, but I I mean it in a really genuine, like, I'm glad that for this, but I just say it in a joking way. I'm like, darn my parents for showing me what a good marriage should look like.
SPEAKER_03:Actually, you always say to me, darn daddy for setting the bar so high.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03:That too you say that to me a lot.
SPEAKER_04:Um, because I mean, I haven't dated much, but um even when I have, I like I mean, I instantly knew that I needed to set boundaries in a relationship, which is very important, and I'm like glad that you guys taught me how to do that. Um even in friendships, it's important. And so not even romantic relationships. Literally everything. Um but I I definitely I definitely have a higher standard for how a man should be treating me. Um and if a person doesn't respect my boundaries, uh that's immediately something that I either have to talk to them about or it's something that ends a relationship because they do not respect what I believe, what I want. So um in that way I'm grateful because I don't, you know, want to be subjective to some a relationship that I don't like, um, or a toxic relationship or anything like that. Sometimes I get a little annoyed with myself because I'm like, oh, I just wanna I want to date someone, I want to find that person that I want to marry. But these people are not to the standard that that God wants for me, that I want for myself. Like so, but honestly, that was I would say that was in high school when I was like looking for a relationship at every point that a girl does, and um and now in college, I'm like though I would love to find someone to share life with and to uh to start a relationship with, it's not something I'm specifically seeking, but also I'm glad to have those those foundations of what I know I want and what I know I do not want to make me feel a little more safe in the like if I would ever to start dating someone, I feel safer knowing that I know what I want.
SPEAKER_03:That's good. I like that I like that part, that plug for boundaries, Lil. Good job. Boundaries, but I I think I think Christians often think boundaries are just for sex in it's like premarital sex, like as dating, like that's the boundary we need to talk about. And it's like actually all of us need lots of boundaries, right? I mean, we're not talking about rigidity, we're talking about healthy boundaries of sure time, all kinds of things.
SPEAKER_04:Exactly. Yeah, me and my friends have boundaries of like things we don't want to talk about, and if we do, we approach the subject lightly. Um, like my friends know that my sister is a tough topic for me, and if they want to ask a question about it, they ask, would it be okay if I talked about Emily like right now? Like, and I'm always like, Yeah, that's fine. But like they know that it's a tough topic, and that that's a boundary for me. Sure.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. Appreciate that. I appreciate yeah, I think that's really good. And um yeah, I think I think you are amazing, and I think it's really hard, guys. I'm just gonna be honest, it is really hard when you have kids that are smarter than you. Oh my god, it's like, what the heck is going on? And I'm just tap I should just tap out. All of you are smarter than us. Like it's just but you're smart in your own way, Mala. Oh, yeah, yeah. See, now she's coming to my defense. I don't mean it like that. I just mean you guys are so intentional, so you yeah, you just kind of blow me, blow my mind, blow me out of the water with how intentional you guys are, and I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01:Um I saw you, and I've said this to mom, like I and I'm gonna be generic, but in in a prior relationship, and mom and I are both aware of how good it feels to have somebody like you, right? Just oh, somebody likes me. Like that feels really, really good. And it is easy for that to become the basis of a relationship, and you were smart enough to expect more from that, right? And I think it was one of the things that I saw in you that I was like, wow, okay, Lily's got her head on, is that she did you didn't stop. Yeah, you like you did kind of go, nope, nope, this is not the kind of relationship that I want. And it is really hard to say that. It's really hard to say that because we know how good it feels just to be liked and stuff. So I think you holding those boundaries, you maintaining that is hard, but I think it is honoring to who you are.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's definitely mentally hard because some days I wish like I didn't have those standards, but then I think about it and I'm like, yes, I do. But it's just fleeting thoughts that sometimes I wish I I just wasn't so picky and I could just start dating someone, but after I think about it, I'm like, do I really want to subject myself to a relationship that I don't want? Right. No, so yeah, that's okay. I hear you.
SPEAKER_01:It's tough though. It is hard because it's because no relationship is perfect, and certainly there's growth that has to happen along the way. So yeah, it is it is really hard, but yeah, cool. Well, this has been fun.
SPEAKER_03:It is, it's always fun to talk to our kids. It's always fun to wonder what you will answer to these things. I was actually thinking Lil, Lil and I always kind of go back and forth of like with snarky boundaries. What's a snarky boundary you have? Because I know you have them because you'll joke around and you'll be like, well, that's that's an absolute no if I'm dating a like I was trying to think, like if he doesn't like prime doesn't like pride and prejudice or something like that. Oh, a snarky boundary? Yes, like hmm. It's an absolute no if he doesn't. Oh, would it be wicked if he doesn't like wicked?
SPEAKER_04:I mean, no, that's okay.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Um doesn't give you space while you're reading.
SPEAKER_04:Wait, like if he doesn't build me a library.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, see there we go. Yes, yes. We send a lot of Instagram reels back and forth about, and was it one of them like my future husband better realize or something? Yeah, like better realize that I need a library. That his book but his book budget has got to be an item line, like not like a under Well, one of my biggest things that I wanted in college was a place to put all my books.
SPEAKER_04:And yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And we made it happen.
SPEAKER_04:We did.
SPEAKER_03:We got you a bookshelf. Imagine that. Aw, well, that's awesome, girl. I love you. Thanks for sharing with us. And hey, if you ever want to come back on because your opinions have changed or you're like, I got something else to add, we're we're here.
SPEAKER_01:We'll do premiered alive for all the people that see no just in your house.
SPEAKER_03:Oh dear.
SPEAKER_04:No, premiered alive, sir.
SPEAKER_01:Um not even dating anyone.
SPEAKER_03:I know.
SPEAKER_01:Down the road.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like we just made like a bachelor like offer or something. She's available.
SPEAKER_01:Awesome. Well, yeah, this has been fun. Love you lots, Lil. Until next time, I'm Brad Aldridge.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm Kate Aldridge. Be kind and take care of each other.
SPEAKER_00:Still Becoming One is a production of Aldrich Ministries. For more information about Brad and Kate's coaching ministry, courses, and speaking opportunities, you can find us at Aldridge Ministries.com. For podcast show notes and links to resources in all of our social media. Be sure to visit us at stillbecoming one dot com. And don't forget to like this episode wherever you get your podcasts. And be sure to follow us to continue your journey on Still Becoming One.