Unlock Your Desires: Embrace Submissive Headspace and Kink Exploration!

What if your deepest desires were the key to unlocking a more fulfilling and joyful life? Join Me, Chastity Queen, as We/we explore the mesmerizing depths of submissive headspace and kink exploration, where history, desire, kink, and fetish intertwine to shape our present-day passions. Together, We/we'll unravel how our past experiences influence our unique desires, ultimately leading to a sexual awakening that defies the confines of a vanilla lifestyle. Embark on a journey of self-reflection and discover the boundless possibilities that lie beyond societal norms, paving the way for personal growth and happiness.

In this episode, I share insights from My experiences as a Dominatrix, highlighting the empowering choice of embracing one's desires within the kink community. Feel the weight of societal judgment lift as We/we navigate a world where privacy, safety, and mutual respect are paramount. Hear transformative stories of individuals finding solace and profound connections in a community that celebrates open-mindedness and acceptance. With clear boundaries and protocols ensuring mutual respect and consent, this is more than just an exploration of desires—it's a celebration of empowerment, choice, and the profound connections that can flourish when one embraces their true self.

Listen carefully, and your life may change!

Chastity Queen

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:06

Thank you for tuning in to Diaries of a Dom, plus questions answered with your wonderful queen hostess, chastity Queen. So thank you for listening. Thank you for subscribing. To all of those who are subscribed, I would highly recommend that you give me a review. Any review really does help others to choose to listen or subscribe to my podcast and that really really is appreciated. So thank you. If you want to find any of my links, you can go to my link tree backward slash Chastity Queen.

Speaker 1 0:50

Today I want to talk about submissive headspace and how to achieve a submissive headspace. I want to get into this. I'm going to describe some pretty basic ways to approach it and I have four very specific points that will lead you into your exploration of your own individual personality type, your sexual awakening and a feeling of joy and happiness that you may not currently be experiencing. If you are, I say that you probably have reached a certain level of understanding of your own inner workings, but I want to get into four very specific points that I found are important in this and things that we need to reflect upon so that we can get to the next level and get over that hump of where do I go? What do I do. You know how do I do this? Should I even do it? All of this self-talk that you might have currently if you're, you know, a new individual that wants to explore, or maybe realizes that you have a desire to be submissive? You have a natural inclination in that manner of approaching life and it doesn't scare you, but you maybe don't understand how to achieve it, to reach it. So let's get into it quickly now.

Speaker 1 2:36

Let's start. First of all, I want to talk about the combination of things. So these four things, the combination of things, so these four things, I think, in combination with each other, are truly important in getting to the next step. And, as a queen, that's what I want for people. I want for people to endeavor, to learn about themselves and to realize that some of these steps are crucial in getting to the next goal, or even just creating a specific goal.

Speaker 1 3:14

And at the end of the day, we all want to be happy and we can never look to other people to give us that joy. We have to find it within, and I know that people hear that all the time and you think, oh, that's great, it's probably true. But you know, I'm happy because of so-and-so and that person makes me happy and when I watch that person they make me happy. Or maybe when you sit back in your living room or in your office or your bedroom and you're watching my interactions with people, you feel that that's enough. It gives you a sense of happiness and joy. But I want to say that until you feel it for yourself, you will not experience pure and unadulterated joy, and I want that for you. I want you to experience that. I want you to feel it, the rush, the excitement, the surprise that learning about yourself will give you. But you need to take those first few steps. So I'm going to help you now.

Speaker 1 4:26

So the combination of things. I think that these are extremely important, okay, so first I want to talk about history, so I've written a few words about each of my points that I think are very important, so I'll get into it right now. Important, so I'll get into it right now. Our past creates our present, whether we realize it or not, and our present choices can elevate our joy in life. Our subconscious mind will signal to our conscious mind specific likes and dislikes. It feels like it is a pure and natural choice, but it is far more than that. Our upbringing, life experiences, personality in combination with positive and negative experiences can create a unique blend of who we are and what drives us. I'm just going to encapsulate that a little bit. So you know, everything is a recipe, right? A recipe you add in this life experience, you add in that past memory, that past feeling, and that is where we are right now. That past feeling and that is where we are right now in the present, how we feel. And then our present choices are what can elevate our joy. So let me get to the next point I want to discuss Desire.

Speaker 1 6:05

Everyone has different needs and this is the gateway of exploration into desire. Some desire unusual things and others common and so-called normal wants. Not one is wrong, but the level of exposure to a variety of stimuli can dictate the road we decide to travel on. Desire is unique to each and submissive. Desire comes from a need and requires subsequent action to become submissive. So I'm going to encapsulate that a little bit. So you know we've got a history and then suddenly we have these desires that start to blossom.

Speaker 1 6:55

So what's next? Kink and fetish. So after desire comes a variety of options. So after desire comes a variety of options. Some choose vanilla options without realizing the bounteous options in kink. And some do not even realize they have preferences or maybe avoid considering their directed likes as a fetish. They don't want to consider it a fetish or a kink. Why, well, the word kink or fetish can carry a taboo energy with it, but when one person realizes that a kink or a fetish is simply a specific preference, it's not so scary anymore. The kink or fetish doesn't define you. It enables you to fulfill the desire that burns within.

Speaker 1 7:51

I want to say something additionally in regards to kink and fetish choices, that many people are living within the boundaries of a vanilla existence within a marriage, within a partnership. A vanilla existence within a marriage, within a partnership, maybe as a bachelor. They are doing the vanilla type of things you know going on dates and doing dinner, and which is all fun. It's fine. But there are so many that are pushing those desires down within themselves. There are many that are squashing their feelings, they're stepping on them. They're looking at BDSM websites and wishing and dreaming and thinking, oh, that could never be me.

Speaker 1 8:38

You have to ask yourself why not afraid to enter into your own fantasies? Are those fantasies really bad Just because everybody around you doesn't agree with them, or maybe verbalizes their disdain for certain behaviors or certain kinks. Does that just immediately tell you well, I'm not allowed. I'm not saying you have to come out, you know, in front of all of your friends and family and say, hey, you know, hey, everybody, I have an announcement to make. I absolutely love women's feet, or I'd like to try bondage, or I'd love to worship a woman and put her above men. Right, I'm not telling you you have to make an announcement, or you have to send out a press release or a newsletter to all of your family and friends. Really, that is not necessary. Are they sending out a newsletter about what they do in their bedrooms, what their secret kinks might be too? Seriously, think about it.

Empowering Choice in Kink Exploration

Speaker 1 9:54

So kink is a very fundamental, important aspect of this trifecta, this combination of things. So we've got history. You know what your experiences in life have been like up until now and what shapes you, based upon the people you've seen, you know been brought up around and friends, and even society within your culture. And you've got the desire. We all have desires. They're varied, of course, but we all have desire. And then there's kink and fetish, which brings us into another aspect of our being so.

Speaker 1 10:38

My last one, which was kind of touched on when I crystallized the kink fetish side of things, is choice. You must choose to explore. Some don't even consider the possibilities in simply exploring a new way of being, a new desire, a new kink fetish. A mindset is not fixed, and when we play within our desires of the mind, it is much like brain exercises. It expands and opens new gateways to your being. You can reach higher levels of ecstasy, but only if you give yourself permission to do so. There's no other way. Once you drop the invasive mental restrictions that live within all of us and choose to try, you will bring your awakening alive. Making deliberate and curated decisions to satisfy your sexual and mental being is the best choice in a challenging and sometimes dark world.

Speaker 1 11:55

I can speak for myself. I can speak for any client that came to see me, any submissive or slave that I've interacted with at parties. Each one of us had to make a choice. Maybe it was a simple choice Do I go to a munch or do I'm going to give you an example? Okay, along, as I said, with other clients, they came to me and they would say to me Queen, coming to you was the most nerve-wracking experience Just making a request, an email, texting you that was nerve-wracking. I couldn't believe how scared I was. And when they sat in front of me and they realized that we're both just human and I'm open-minded, because I had to make a choice to be a dom and I accepted their choice to be sub all of the guards went down, all of the fences, all of the boundaries that we put up that look scary in fact aren't. They were sitting in front of a woman with an open heart. They could trust me. I was keeping their private desires between the two of us and we could explore. And they would immediately feel safe because they were with me. They were expressing what they really want and I think we all want to have that ability to express our desires to somebody who understands, who's willing to listen, who isn't shocked, you know so.

Speaker 1 13:55

No, we don't need to send out a press release, but if you talk to people that are like minded, then you're going to find your tribe and I think we all need that. There's absolutely no benefit in sitting at home feeling weird. No, you need to find others who are like-minded and I'm telling you there are plenty In every genre of kink and fetish, every genre, I'm telling you you may think, oh my gosh, nobody would be in defeat. Well, we know that that's probably the number one fetish, including ABDLs. That's very popular as well. Shocking as everybody may seem it to be, it's very popular and it has nothing to do with the things that society says. It has something to do with.

Speaker 1 14:50

No, you know, I always called what I did as a dom, and I still do, alternative therapy. You know you can go to a therapist and talk about how you feel. But when can you go to a therapist and say what you want, what your fetish is, and feel safe enough to do that? And that's where a femdom, or me, chastity queen is an alternative therapist for you. I want to be that. I want you to explore some things in a safe manner. I mean you don't have to go crazy. Want you to explore some things in a safe manner. I mean you don't have to go crazy, you don't have to. You know, immediately go into a dungeon and be whipped and caned and flogged and striped up with. You know all of the impact tools. To be a kingster, no, you could be into sensation play.

Speaker 1 15:43

I had many men come in just for that play. I had many men come in just for that, to feel a sense of thrill from a fabric. I mean, goodness gracious, how is that bad? Or to kiss someone's feet. You know, kiss my feet. What's so wrong with that? You know, my feet were clean, unless somebody wanted me to have dirt on my feet. Then I'd go walk in the dirt for a bit and come back in and say, hey, if that's your thing, I will provide you with that, I will facilitate that.

Speaker 1 16:19

And you know, deep within your stomach there's this sort of like some people call it the pit of the stomach, I call it fireworks. And when you start to stir those little fireworks up and allow yourself to explore something that's maybe a little taboo or a little kinky or unusual not vanilla you start to feel those fireworks and what they do is they start to go off in your stomach and they start to hit your chest and it's a thrill, it's exciting and you get this warm feeling all over your body. I've been there With every slave that has experienced that. It's a full body experience. It can start small and it expands within the body and it spreads, and it's a good kind of spreading. It's the kind of spreading you want. It's tingling, it's goosebumps, it's smiling, your brain is electric.

Speaker 1 17:30

So, remember, look at your own situation. Okay, look at your history. What is your desire? Do you maybe have a fetish or something in particular or a kink that you want to explore? And then choice you have to choose to move into that, to explore. You have to choose to be happy. Nobody on the outside can help you with that until you choose to make yourself happy. So now I'm going to give you an example. So now I'm going to give you an example.

Speaker 1 18:13

I had a. I had a party December 29th of 2018. So this is six years ago, six years and a little bit and I had an invitation on FetLife that listed exactly what was required of somebody who wanted to attend. I'll read that for you. So, in particular, I was asking for a sissy server role. Number one was chastity queen is in charge. Number two well-groomed Three, black and white dress. So black pants, black shirt, black skirt, white shirt, white pants, whatever. Four, modest Five, aware of guests' needs. Six no speaking speaking. Seven, various and then in brackets, non-sexual tasks may be requested of you. If you agree to these terms, an address will be provided. So I posted that and I got a few emails.

Speaker 1 19:25

I expected many more, but you see, people are nervous, people are very nervous and they think, well, I wouldn't be good enough, I wouldn't know what to do. It's the fear of the unknown. Often, what is unknown is a lot less scary in reality than what's in the mind. The mind can be tricky that way, expecting the worst instead of hoping for the best. Don't expect the worst seriously. 95% of the things we worry about never materialize. They never come true. That's something my grandmother used to say all of the time and it really did help me with my anxiety as a child and even as an adult I still think about that.

Speaker 1 20:13

So I had one person reach out to me and they like ballet gear, they love workout clothes, they enjoy dressing up, but in particular at that time they were very much focused in on ballet wear, ballet fetish, and he was very nervous about attending, as we all do. We have a personal life and we don't want to be exposed at some kinky party. So you know, I chatted with him a little bit back and forth. Email just said look, you know, anybody who attends is signing a contract saying you know what happens at the party is to be private, kept private and no photos, you know, unless curated by me or unless others are not in the background. You know I care about privacy. It's really important and for the servers that were coming, I was going to provide masks for them or even if they wanted to wear one in, I was okay with that. I understand that everybody has a private life, a vanilla life, and I didn't want to jeopardize anybody's day-to-day living or, you know, job or anything like that. But if you wanted to come and be a sissy server, you could come wear a mask or a hood and come in. You know street clothes, but just pop it on before you come in and from there I could dress people up, do what I wanted.

Speaker 1 21:53

He took a big deep breath and decided I'm going to do it. And I'm telling you something he has told me ever since and now it has been six-ish years since he attended that party His whole life changed. He went through a lot in his own private personal life and I was able to give him support when he needed it the most, and part of the support was having him come over and he could enjoy his fetish. It alleviated a lot of pressure that was going on in his personal life and I'm telling you, it was a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure, illnesses and deaths and so much going on in his life, and I was an outlet for him. But it took him to make a choice, to come to one party to get him on the road to that.

Speaker 1 22:55

You know, and you might think well, what if the person that is having the party isn't safe? What if you know they're not you? What if they're not safe? Well, you, what if they're not safe? Well, you know, I think that we are all reasonable enough to use logic. When we decide to do something, you have to trust yourself first, really, before you can trust anybody else. When you make a decision, you have to think about your vanilla life and say is this going to impact it and what are the things that have been put in place to protect me? Does that Dom have a good history? Does she have proof that she is who she is? Are there photos of her? Are there, you know, recordings of her, a number of things, or him? You know, depending on who's having the party, what's the vetting process? You know, is she just letting anybody come in? Well, if not, then you know that she's being very conscientious about her choices and I was, and he felt safe and because of it we've known each other now for over six years.

Speaker 1 24:07

We've had a very rich dom slave DS. He is tagged, he's owned and I have been a source of enlightenment and joy in his life where there was a lot of darkness happening. And I'll say the same for me. When I see somebody going outside of their comfort zone for me, I'm going to go above and beyond to reciprocate and reward them. But I can also say that my relationship with him as my slave also say that my relationship with him as my slave, through everything that's happened good, bad and ugly for me has been a benefit. So I have derived a lot of happiness from getting to know this person, getting to know this individual above and beyond the fetish. You know, going for dinner, he takes me for dinner, we talk, we discuss. You know daily life events, not in fetish wear, I mean. Sometimes he's wearing panties underneath his clothes or a cute little ballet tight, but nobody knows. Just the two of us know that. And so you can become friends with the people within the kink community.

Speaker 1 25:35

You know, I find that we are so much more open-minded and less judgmental than those in Vanilla Land. Really, everybody seems to be on guard and somewhat chippy on their shoulders. If you know what I mean, you have to be a certain way or have a certain profession or a certain income level to fit in to a specific group. I'm not saying everybody's like that, but it seems to be a trend. I'm not saying everybody's like that, but it seems to be a trend. You know, do you have enough social media presence and have you traveled here and there and everywhere and have you eaten this or that? You know, it's kind of silly. It's all based on photos, it's not based on a soul connection. And you see, that's what I feel in BDSM people get is a soul connection. And you see, that's what I feel in BDSM people get is a soul connection. Because we are accepting, you can be open without being judged and criticized, and you can actually let your hair down sexually.

Speaker 1 26:43

Plus, there's a lot of protocols involved. You know this isn't about just going out and saying to anybody oh well, I'm so-and-so and I like this fetish, so you're going to have to enjoy it. Well, no, I mean, even at kinky events, you have to respect each other and no means no. And you know you often go with somebody who can assist you with your fetish. You know, if you're a dom, you're there with a couple of slaves and you're in charge of their fetish and they're there to please you. People recognize it, people appreciate it, people respect it. So even with the freedom of mind, the freedom of expression that exists within BDSM, there's still rules. You know, it's not just a big mud pie of kinks that we throw at each other. So I wanted to share that example, because he put himself outside of his comfort zone to attend my party. The party went off just wonderfully. He served people food, he did as I asked, and from there it just turned into a snowball of excitement, a complete change, a change in the trajectory of his life, and he has been a blessing to me as well. So it's a win-win really.

Speaker 1 28:19

So think about it, your history, think about your desires, think about what kink or fetish you might be into. Don't be afraid, look into it. Read the groups on FetLife. Those, I find, are the best because people are real on there. They're honest, they're open, they're kinksters and it's a community of people that don't judge. You're always going to have someone who judges, here and there, of course, and trolls, but I don't find that to be excessive. Maybe 2% for me anyway. On FetLife, start to get to know things and get to know people within groups, and you know, friend me, make me one of your friends there.

Speaker 1 29:15

Under chastity-queen or mummy-celeste, I do a lot of ABDL things as well, which I enjoy, and I think for me it's about the dive into psychology, the dive into openness. The waters are just endless. You have to explore them, though, and it takes a toe in the water, but once you start to dip that toe in, you're going to want to dive in. So thanks for listening today. I hope this helped. I hope that this opened your mind and eyes. You can reach out to me through chastityqueen1 at gmailcom. If you enjoyed this episode. You can send me a tip and, you know, give me a little note and I will get back to you as well. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day. Bye for now.