Homeschooling, big personal investments, decisions that create real freedom w/ Ally Blanch

Your life looks fine on the outside but is it really what you want? 

In this episode, I’m joined by Ally, founder of the Parent Educator Movement and Creator of Parent Educator Foundations. 

She shares a story of tearing everything done and starting again, all in the pursuit of a life with real freedom. For her that looked like leaving her career as an assistant principle, selling her family home, homeschooling her daughter and moving her family 12 hours from her hometown to live a different lifestyle. 

You'll walk away from this episode knowing: 

• The one shift that helped Ally walk away from the programmed structure of traditional schooling and the 9-5 career and build a life with real freedom 
• How fear of judgment, guilt, and being misunderstood can keep high-achieving women trapped in lives that feel too small
• How to begin trusting the quiet knowing that says, “This might not make sense to everyone else, but it makes sense to me” and how to follow it 
• The  practical steps you can take to create a life that gives you, your business, and your family more freedom, including homeschooling and entrepreneurship, 

This is such a powerful conversation for the woman who knows she is not here to follow the default path. The woman who can feel there is more available to her.

Connect with Ally: 

Instagram: @allyyblanch
Podcast: The Parent Educator Podcast
Parent Educator Foundations

Enrol in The Collective: A mentorship for women in business ready to expand into multi five figure and six figure months, attract premium clients and become known in the high-end space in their industry.

Book the mini private 1:1 mentorship package here. 

Further Resources: 

• Follow me on Instagram for daily mindset tips and lots of BTS content of my life (building a 7 figure business, living by the beach, my daily routines and travels) 
• Browse the free resources - meditations, manifestation tracks and more 
• See what's currently open for enrolment here or browse courses available on demand here 

Transcript

Why The Default Path Feels Small

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to the Abundant and Align podcast. Thank you so much for hitting play on today's episode. I am sitting down with a guest. I am joined by Ali, who is the founder of the parent education movement and the creator of parent education foundations. After spending years inside the education system leading student and staff well-being, Ali began to question something much bigger than education. She began to question the path, the one so many of us are handed. I go to school, I get the job, I follow the structure, I do what makes sense, be responsible. And then somehow, years later, wonder why the life you've built doesn't actually feel like freedom. This conversation is not just about homeschooling children. It's about what it takes to become the kind of woman who is willing to walk a different path. And what I loved so much about this conversation is that Ali's work reflects something I believe so deeply. You do not create an extraordinary life by unconsciously following ordinary rules. So in today's episode, we are going to unpack the one shift that help Ali walk away from the program structure of traditional schooling and the nine to five career and begin building a life with real freedom. How fear of judgment, guilt, and being misunderstood can keep high-achieving women trapped in lives that feel too small. How to begin trusting the quiet knowing that says this might not make sense to everyone else, but it makes sense to me and the practical steps you can take to create a life that gives you, your businesses and your family more freedom. This is such a powerful conversation for the woman who knows she is not here to follow the default path and who can feel more is available to her. So let's get into this episode. You guys are going to love it. Welcome to the Abundant and Aligned Podcast, a place where you will come to realise anything you desire is possible. I'm Jess, mindset and business coach, and I'm on a mission to lead women to a life far from average. In this show, you can expect conversations around manifestation, subconscious reprogramming, entrepreneurship, and the daily habits of a woman living a life that is both successful and fun. Imagine a TED talk but over wine. My wish for you is that you experience an unlimited flow of money, a business that attracts your dream clients, and the freedom to spend your time how you choose. And if you stick with me, that will soon be your reality. I'm honoured to be on the journey with you, so let's get into it. Ali, welcome to the Abundant Align Podcast. This is such a beautiful full circle moment for us today. For those who are listening, Ali was in her empire last year, was it last year? Yep.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

And she flew up to the Gold Coast for the immersion. So we got really close over six months, and so she's just a big part of my business and my world. So it's nice for us to be sitting face to face today and catching up, and so much has happened in your business since you finished in her empire. So this is also a nice catch-up for me as well, just to see how things are going. But Ali, welcome to the show. I'm so excited to be here and to see your beautiful face again. And we're just talking before we hit record. Ali's about to move up north, and I was saying so jealous, the area she's moving to is so beautiful. You've got lots in the works, which is really, really exciting. Um now you are a mentor for parents wanting to transition to homeschooling. And you may be listening to this topic if you're the listener thinking, what the hell has this got to do with anything? But this is such a story of courage, of holding the vision for a particular life that you want, even if it goes so against the grain. And therefore, I'm so excited to unpack what you're doing in the homeschooling space, but most importantly, the woman you've had to become in order to leave a very successful career as assistant principal. Decide to homeschool your daughter. You're now packing your family up and moving 12 hours away from your, is it your hometown? Yeah. Hometown. Many big decisions you've been making in your life over the last couple of years, and it really is a testament to the woman that you are and the work that you put into yourself. And that's what I'm really looking forward to highlighting here today. Oh, and you also have a podcast now, which at a rebrand, what's the new podcast called?

SPEAKER_01 4:37

The Parent Educator Podcast. So, yeah, moving from the coming home podcast.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Yes. So we're gonna unpack all of this today. How does someone get into homeschooling? What decisions have led you here? But I would love to take you all the way back. So the moment you decided or figured out the life you were living wasn't ultimately the life you wanted to live. Take us back to that moment.

Burnout Inside A Successful Career

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Yeah, this is such a good question. And thanks for that intro. Gosh, help you. Um, no, it it feels like a lifetime ago, but I know it's such a pivotal moment to share over and over because I know how powerful a one decision moment can change everything for you and for both of us. We've had so many of those along our journey. But for me, it was I was leading well-being as an assistant principal in schools while also, you know, running a whole stage of stage for each student. So up to 90 students, had my own class, managing a whole team of staff and part of the executive leadership team. And in that time, I was running a well-being program, particularly around regulation and regulation for the kids. And I remember just knowing, like in my soul, how important this work was and that I could really like change the game in terms of how kids engaged in the classroom and how they connected with each other and with their teachers. Yet when I was delivering it to staff, I just could not feel that the why was there big enough because we were all so fucking dysregulated ourselves. And sorry for the swearing, but like that is just it to the core, right? And also for me, I was a new mum as such. I kind of had taken on this. I remember when I had my daughter, I said I never wanted to go back into the leadership because it was so so full on, and I didn't think I had the capacity, and things dropped in when I went back to work. My daughter was only 18 months at the time, and the opportunity come up came up to have this role. And yeah, I just remember delivering to staff this new program and saying how important it will be, and that you know, it's going to change the game while being so dysregulated myself sharing this. And I just felt like such a fake and going home to my daughter and my husband, and I was just just numb. Like I remember I would I was drinking in the afternoon, all I was thinking about was what I had to do the next day and just living this life that was so I was literally thinking, is this it? You know, I'd tick the boxes, I'd gone to uni, I'd studied hard, I'd climbed to the ladder, had a beautiful daughter, amazing partner. We were just about to build a home. Um, so that was also the reason of like I need this job to have the money to build. And yeah, that was just this pivotal moment where, like we talk about, like my external world, because of my internal world was crumbling around me. Like I was so disconnected in my relationship. I felt like a shell of a human. And also in my family, like things were crumbling. So my parents' mental health was terrible. I ended up taking leave from work to help care for my older sister who um requires 24-hour care. And in that time, in that space of just taking leave, it was really hard, you know, to take on the responsibility and care for my sister, but also just felt like everything crumbled around me. And it was in that pivotal moment that I was like, I can't go back. I don't know what it's going to look like, but I cannot go back. I can't keep functioning there. And my body was showing me that too, like shingles, just complete shutdown. And in that time, it was just things started to pop into my awareness of what could be possible because I created the space. And yeah, I took a lot of time to heal my body and heal my relationship to myself. And it was for my daughter at the start. Like I couldn't keep showing up as a numb, reactive person, knowing that she was just a mirror back to me, like she was just reflecting it back, and I didn't want to repeat that. And so I took leave. I kept caring for my sister for a while, and then I started to set boundaries of this is not how I want my life to live, and it just kept unfolding of like getting into spaces like yours, and you know, maybe I can help others with what I've moved through.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

I think it's interesting if someone looked at your life on paper, you had it all. As you've mentioned, you had a partner, a daughter, you had a really successful career as an assistant principal. Like you've really worked your way up that ladder about to build a home. Obviously, you had money on paper, everything was there. However, internally it didn't feel how it should have. And I think this is such a beautiful wake-up call for so many women to always connect the dots. You may have everything externally, but if you don't feel that internally, what is the point? And we're gonna get into your story in a moment because you kind of did just tear it all down and start again, and that takes a lot of courage. And I'm fully aware there are a lot of women listening to this knowing they don't feel how they should give in the external, but to do something about it is really scary. So I'd love to take take you to that point. You've kind of you've you've become aware that the life you had built isn't ultimately the life you want, but that next step to actually burn it all down and what that actually looked like is huge. So talk to us about how you navigated that because it would have been very scary.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Yeah, it's such a good question. And I honestly was talking to my husband about this the other day of like the pivotal moments in our life where things have changed or we've made a decision that we weren't sure what the outcome was going to be. It was just that we we took the jump, like you said. And for me, it was I took the leave and I realized in that space, yes, I was still life felt like quite crumbly around me. But it was in the space of like not being on autopilot all the time of like doing the next thing and like this is just the way it is. I created space. And I said this to you before on the call of like what drops in when you create the space. And I just it was like an it was like a knowing, and it was something that I've looked back on now. And I always thought I was so disconnected, you know, to my intuition and a a higher purpose of like I'm just always in my head. But it was just this internal knowing of like, I can't go back and I don't know what life's gonna look like, but I I just have to take this leap. And like I said, just things kept unfolding. And it was kind of like, you know, how so many of us like to hold on to control and what things look like. I just had to surrender a little bit, and that was massive for me, like for someone that had controlled and like you said, ticked off all the boxes. So I thought I knew what I had to do. It was in that moment there was the first, probably second, probably pivotal moment where I just had to trust that it was going to unfold and just like kind of sit back a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

And ultimately, your soul had a plan for you, and it was probably trying to drop all of these breadcrumbs years prior to this breakthrough, this breakdown, but you weren't listening. As you've mentioned, autopilot kicks into gear. We get up, we think the same thoughts every day, we feel the same emotions every day, we take the same action every day. It's so easy just to be in that feedback loop over and over and over again. But eventually something does happen. It's like the universe saying, please wake up. You are walking down the wrong path, and we need you to see this other path, and so we're gonna pull this out from underneath you so that you're forced to look within and actually ask the right questions. So, in what order did you rebuild your life to look more like the life you wanted to live?

Creating Space To Hear Yourself

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Coming back to like what you were saying, how powerful, and we'll probably get into this your environment is, you know, to shift that perspective. So for me, it was removing myself from an environment that felt like autopilot and putting myself in different environments. So, like in my awareness in the breakdown, scrolling online, and I found someone that I resonated with, and they were running like a group program on, I can't even remember, it was um with Ellie Miles. I don't know if you know Ellie, but she was running like a healthy girl era group program, and I felt like she was talking about the women that were in it, and I was like, I just need to be an environment of people that are some working on themselves or something because I just need to have people around me that showing me what's possible. And it was in that time that I was just like, wow, like a lot of people are going through it, but there is another way. And it was in that moment again, the environment so important, and a shift in perspective of like it doesn't have to stay like this. So that moment for me, and then in my head, I was like, wow, maybe I could do this, maybe I could support people with this because I'd always naturally been in leadership, naturally drawn to mentoring and supporting people, particularly in the schooling system. And it did just feel natural to me, like it I never pushed myself there. I felt felt like I always just kind of fell into it. So that was the first step. And then I started to, you know, get into okay, what would that look like? Maybe I could um, you know, putting my asked Ellie some support. What would what would you do if I wanted to go and, you know, potentially support others? And that's when I went down the NLP route and did training there and the mindset, and then moved into how important the nervous system was and kept going down that route because that's what I was doing in schools. And it was just a sequence of events of falling into different environments that kept shifting my perspective. And then next I was it felt it was honestly like people talk about you're a spiritual awakening or your awakening. It was like looking around and seeing how much of life we do just tick off or we follow a certain script that was never ours. And that felt really combusting. Like it honestly felt like my world was falling apart because everything that I thought was true was was not. And that included how how I was going to raise my daughter or how she was raising me in that time and still does. And I just knew that I, even when I was in school, I could not see her coming into that environment. Like I just, it shifted everything for me of just wow, I'm in this environment and I can never see me wanting to bring my daughter in here. And so in that time, we I said, what are we to my husband? What are we choosing to build for? Like, is that part of the script as well? And we weren't enjoying the pressure of, you know, choosing all the all the things for the house and having this massive mortgage for our whole life. And so we sold that, and that felt really freeing to know that that wasn't that wasn't on the timeline for us anymore. And again, the universe provided us with an incredible rental in a beautiful place with family friends, and it was just these little like breadcrumbs, like you said. It's like, oh, I've changed that now. Let's follow that. And I never had a clear vision of what it was going to look like. It was just things dropping in in front of me, and I was just learning to surrender and follow them. And that just kept going. And I was like, maybe I can help people with this. And I just kept following that. So we sold our block, incredible rental, invest, continued, continuously invested in ourselves, particularly. Like, and I know we talk about this all the time, but I honestly think there's no greater investment than in yourself. And yeah, I've continued from that day to always invest in myself and my growth and you know, coming back to my truth or what I'm here to do.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Because life's a reflection of you, right? Your internal beliefs, your programming, and the standard that you're willing to settle for or create. So I love that so much. And so women who are in a life, however that looks for them, and they have realized it's not the life they should be living, what do you feel holds women back the most, you know, from your journey, from working with multiple clients who have reached this point, like they they may see the vision or they listen to a story like yours and know that's that's the life I want to build, but they're held back. Like, what does that look like? And and why do you feel that is the case?

Environment As The Real Catalyst

SPEAKER_01 16:52

I've said it, I think I've said it in every part of what I've spoken about, your environment. Like if you're surrounded by people doing the exact same thing, or you're surrounded by family that are living in the same limited perspective, limited way of living, then you're not going to see a different picture, or you're not going to see it's possible for you. And like exactly what I looked at saw in you when we did mentorship together is like I saw something in you that I wanted and that I loved about your life. And you provided me with the evidence that that was possible, right? So I jumped into your space because I needed to be in that environment to continue to be around people that are showing me what's possible because before that the perspective wasn't there. So the biggest thing, and I see it with my clients as well, that holds them back and continues to keep the grip so tight is I truly believe the environment. Like it couldn't be more. You can look at the nervous system, you can look at the limited thoughts, the beliefs, but that is all shaped by your surroundings. And so this is where like the move for us just feels so expansive of like my next shift and timeline jump, whatever you want to call it. But it's honestly, yeah, I can I can't preface enough the importance of your environment to show you what's possible and to really shift perspective because you can do all the mindset, all the nervous system work, you can do all the deep subconscious work. But if you're still surrounded by the same environment of limited thoughts, energy, frequency circulation, then it's going to be really hard to break out of that perspective.

Choosing Homeschooling And Real Freedom

SPEAKER_00 18:27

You can't escape the knowing that in order to create change, you have to change something. And I think so many women are banging themselves against the wall, knowing exactly what they want, frustrated why nothing's moving or dropping in, but they're not moving themselves. They're not changing anything within their internal world, but even their external world, but what's around them every single day. And it doesn't need to be as drastic as moving 12 hours away. As you've mentioned, your first move or your first change of environment was simply just getting yourself into a group of other women who were thinking differently, who were having different conversations, who brought a different energy. And I talk about that all the time on the podcast. Whether you are intentional or conscious of it or not, or not, frequency moves frequency. Just getting into rooms with these high-caliber women, even spending time in spaces where there are wealthy or ambitious people, you're gonna feel that energetically, whether you have turned that on or not. So, yeah, a shift in your environment and just a shift in the story that you are surrounding yourself within. I want to get into the topic of homeschooling because there's so much to be said about that decision. It's so much more than just deciding to homeschool your daughter. There is so many more reasons I know you have gone down that path. And I ultimately want to talk to that because again, it's more than just education for your daughter, it's opening her up to a life of more freedom and opening her up to a life that aligns more with your values. So talk to us about that decision and the depth of that.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, it was in that, you know, awakening period where I started to talk to my husband about it and actually like get it off my heart of what was going on in in my head is and I just said to him, I I I don't want Eden to go to school. And he could he could see why with what I was circular. I was constantly like the biggest thing in this work is bringing us closer together because we're constantly sharing what's going on internally, and it's been a lot of work that he's had to reflect on the other side, and there was many, don't like it hasn't been all rosy, it's definitely been a challenge because he's had to do his own inner work as well to be able to see different perspectives and shift his environments too. But it was just uh a knowing that I didn't want to send her into the system, and I know this is where my work becomes so powerful because I have seen both sides. I know that there is so many mothers, women, parents that have this inner knowing that something doesn't feel right, maybe about sending their child to school or even daycare, or it's like that that, like, oh, I guess everyone else is doing it, but like it just doesn't feel right, right? And like Eden, we tried preschool a couple of times, just you know, I still had the limiting belief that she had to socialize, and that was the way that she was socializing, and she pushed back just as hard of that energetic feeling of I knew it wasn't right. And so again, it was it's been a lot for me too, because I've had to, in the term de school myself of the way things were in the system and how I think they're going to work as homeschooling, yet also knowing that I do have the skills and resources because I've been on both sides. So it was a lot of limiting thoughts coming up of how would she socialize? Who's going to be our friendship group? Like, what if she falls behind? And a lot of de schooling those ideas of what falling behind is. And the timing that this has come up, like you and I both know. That and all your listeners know that we are in such a paradigm shift right now with the way entrepreneurship is being supported, created. Like we have so many opportunities, you know, in the rise of AI, but even just the recognition of how powerful your energy is and the work that you do. And I truly believe that if we can do this work for ourselves, we can support our children to truly thrive in this new time and to make them see that anything is truly possible for them. And what I know to be true is that the system isn't setting children up for that. Like it's still running on its old ways of doing things that are setting people up for, you know, university, the nine to five, into jobs that unfortunately many of them aren't going to be there when our kids leave school. And so it wasn't just this decision, it was like this inner knowing that the way of the future isn't going to support our kids. And I know that this can seem really scary and like, oh my gosh, especially if you have children, but I don't share it as a way of being like scared a shoulder way of being empowering. Like you get to lead this and you get to, I know for all your listeners on here, like they're doing the internal work and they know that they can shift their reality. So it's the the inner work that you're doing to trust yourself of anything's possible, that that's possible for you too with homeschooling and choosing to lead your child. So that's a lot of the work that I do with families, is not exactly, yes, I do help the structure and what it would look like and you know how you can shift your work-life balance, but also that self-trust and belief that you are truly your child's best educator and always have been.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

And I was about to say that's why people like you exist to help with how do we make this work? What does it actually look like? And as you've mentioned, you had the benefit of coming from the education system. You are a teacher by qualification. So you're not denying that you can bring that to the table, but that's what you can now help other parents bring into the picture. And again, that's that's exactly what you do, which we're gonna get to in a second, because I know by the end of this conversation, there will be many women questioning what they're doing with their kids currently, or women like me who don't have kids, but I do want to educate myself on this option because side note, I want to homeschool my kids, and I'm starting to have conversations like that now, even though I don't have kids. But just putting the feelers out and obviously getting my husband on board with what will be a big decision, it's definitely open to it, but everybody says, but what about their social life? Who will their friends be? What exactly what you just said, like what about the fun parts to school when you would run around with your friends? And that definitely plays in the back of my mind because I actually liked school. There's definitely many parts to school that I didn't like, having to be there at the same time every day. You spend so much time there that doesn't align with my values of freedom, but I did really enjoy school. So you do kind of toy between I don't know, did that guilt come on for you with Eden? And how did you hold that decision when nobody would have understood this?

Socialisation Fears And De-Schooling Beliefs

SPEAKER_01 25:09

I love that question because I am with you. I I had a beautiful schooling experience, you know. Like I could not fault, like in terms of my friendships and the socialization. Like, I believe I was really lucky because I know for my sister it wasn't the same, you know, and that comes with cohorts and what was going on. Um, but there's never been a point that's come up that I'm fearful of that for Eden because we've found environments that support that for her. So I love this question because I know that so many people have that thought, they just resonate back to their experience, you know, and that like I liked school or I didn't have problems here. Or I know for many entrepreneurs, like a lot of us did have troubles in school, especially if you were like the different child or the child, sorry, quoted different because we're all so different, but maybe you were the one that thought out of the box a little bit and you were told to be quiet, or you were the one that got labeled with some type of diagnosis because you thought differently, right? And you, you, you didn't suit the four walls kind of thing. And honestly, how many like thriving entrepreneurs have all these like diagnoses of a sense that actually really affected what they believed about themselves and their identity, and now they're fucking thriving in building businesses, right? Because they're they're free to do, create whatever it is they want. And that's what I think is so empowering about this is that we get to create that for our children and we get to lead that, especially as like women in business, like we're doing the internal work, like we know that this is not just creating a business, it's a very deep spiritual journey of like your business is a reflection of you, you know? And so knowing that you get to create that for your children too, it requires you to, yeah, decondition and de-school yourself around the beliefs that you had. And for us, that looked like just getting in environments again. So Eden's, she it's not that she doesn't socialize, like she still goes to, she loves to play tennis. So she meets a few kids there. She goes to a Bush Kindy community who we've connected with really incredible, like-minded, you know, parents that are choosing differently, making it work for their families. That's an investment, you know, it's not just going to school, like you still pay to go do that for your child, but they're out climbing trees all day. Like the coolest thing ever. And it's just it's opening your perspective to what's possible because there honestly is like incredible resources out there, and you do not have to do it alone. So that's what I help parents with is like it's not what you think it is of you sitting at home with your child for six hours a day and having to have them sit at a desk and we're gonna do reading now and we're gonna do writing. No, like the kids that I'm seeing thriving in this community are the ones that are kind of it's child-led, and the parents get to facilitate and support them with that, and just that's that's the work that I'm doing, is I'm doing a lot of the inner work myself to show others what's possible. And you know, for Eden, she doesn't like writing or doing anything yet, but she just tells us when she wants to, and so we sit down and we practice letter formation, but then other times she like is not interested at all. And there's been a lot of my work that I've done is also seeing that like a lot of children aren't ready to read before seven, but we're teaching them in schools at the age of five that they need to know to read, and so we're like, you know, it it can really suit your child, which is so so incredible, and it can, like you said, really complement the value of freedom because you get to choose it the way it works for your family.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

And I think that's why sending my kids to school when I have them one day doesn't sit well with me. Because what do you mean I've worked my ass off to create the life that I have right now where I can get on a plane tomorrow, go and look anywhere in the world and still work. My business comes with me. I've had to work so hard for this life. I can't imagine having to go back to school drop off every Monday to make sure we're home on a Sunday to get ready for the week. Um, you know, being restricted to this suburb five days a week. I just could not imagine that and just feels like it goes against everything that I've worked so hard to build. And so again, that's why I was excited for this conversation today. I think so many women have one aspect of their life that aligns with their values, but then it almost does get thrown out the door once kids come along because the only way we know to raise kids the traditional way is what we just described. It's the life of school drop-off every Monday, you're here until Friday, weekends are back to two days a week. Like it goes against everything that we've built. And you know, in my world with my clients, but also on the podcast, the biggest our biggest value is freedom. Yeah, so there is a way to hold that standard in many different areas of your life, not just your body of work. And again, that's why I'm I'm so grateful for this. Um, I remember we shared a moment when you were in her empire. Eden was at Bush School, and you were sitting in the car, and we had a coaching call, and you just had a huge month in business or just crossed an income milestone, and you were sitting there and we're talking about that, and you actually teared up because you're coming out to Eden, playing, doing her thing, you're building this incredible empire. She's living this incredible life where she's having fun and playing with her friends. And I remember I'm so grateful that I could share that moment with you because it really was an eye-opener to a different way to live and to be and to know that yeah, family life can look like this as well.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Um, I love that you remember that because it honestly, like, I did. I teared up. We were sitting on a coaching call, I was there on my laptop, she was out climbing trees, and I think I I did. I even paused and I said, I'm sorry, like I just I cannot believe this is my reality. And I showed you, and I was just it just made me realize that like anything is truly possible when you choose to put yourself in environments to create a different perspective, to let go of all the shit that you've been, you know, limited to or that's been holding you back, or like limited ways that you thought things had to be. Like we we both come from a uh tick the box off kind of like way of living. And we've literally flipped it on our heads and you know, uh evidence to everyone else of what's possible. Like I don't sit here and say that I'm any higher or lower than anyone and just like come with me because this is possible for you too. And it, I know it can feel scary, but know that like we get to surrender to the experience and the experience is in the in-between, you know, not the end goal, it's it's how you grow in the in-between. And I think, yeah, I love that you bring that up because it what that was like another pivotal moment for me where I was just like, wow, like from going to the belief that I could only create money to one certain income level, flogging myself in a system that I felt so disconnected from, to in the space of like 12 months flipping it and sitting in my car while my daughter's running free. Like, I just it was never in my in my awareness, you know.

Investing In Yourself To Shift Fast

SPEAKER_00 32:24

So and that's why I love your story because this is coming from the woman who was an assistant principal, very much in the system, very much living that programmed life that we see, and it's the life we all got raised in. Like, yeah, again, I know a lot of my listeners did grow up in that traditional family where that's just what you do. So, this is coming from somebody who did come from that way of living and being. And I think what's really cool about your story, you just touched on that, how quickly you did create all of this. Like the story that Ali's sharing that doesn't expand over 10 years, like this is only within a few years. Yeah. Um, so I'd actually love to talk to that. The fact that you did create massive change in such a short amount of time, but it didn't just happen because you woke up one day and the magic wand worked. You put in the hard work. So I think let's talk to that. The honest raw story of what that hard work actually looked like for you.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Yeah, for sure. I think it was, you know, like I said before, is kind of like investing in myself. Like that there's never been a moment where I haven't had an incredible community in in my my space and someone that I saw evidence of what was possible and investing into them. So, and that that's scary, you know, like for someone that had the limiting belief that, or the limiting thought that like I'm not worthy of, you know, putting money into myself that way, and also knowing that that's not what I saw as a child. Like I did not see my parents, you know, investing into themselves, you know, taking themselves away for two weeks in a work training or retreats or anything like that, and also really decombusting like the belief that I'm a bad mother if I do that. Like the biggest thing in this work has flipped my belief of that we have to self-sacrifice and you know, flog ourselves to give the children the the life that we think that they have because I've seen that. Like I've seen even in my parents, how it's almost like a resent now for their children because you know, we did so much and we worked so hard and you know, like, and now they don't know how to live because all they did was work, work, work, work, work and force, you know. And I think the biggest thing is flipping the script of knowing like I get to create this reality when I put it into me. And so that has been investing a lot of money into myself, like, and I I say that with so much like gratitude that we have not gone without, but also knowing that that's been my greatest investment over the past two and a half years. Um, I think I put in my resignation in July 2024. So yeah, only in that time. And yeah, honestly, like it's been constantly putting into myself so then I can continue to work on my inner world, so it's reflected in my outer world. And you know, that's a lot of the work that we did together, is really letting go of a lot of those beliefs that are not serving us to create a different reality that was we never thought was possible. I I can't remember what your question was, but it was I think the investing in yourself and like flipping the script around your worth in that and seeing what changes for you when you do that.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

And investing in yourself when it stretched you. I remember we had a voice message conversation on Instagram before you invested five figures in my world. And you said this is stretching me financially. It's a big investment, of course it is, but also going against how you should spend money. Again, the programming is you put that money into a mortgage, setting your kids up, you know, putting food on the table to turn around and pay a complete stranger five figures in the pursuit of a life that when you look around, no one else had done is huge. And I think we probably don't talk about that enough. You know, investing is definitely glorified and it's an incredible thing you can do for yourself, and your life will only ever grow as much as you do, and investments are a way to accelerate that. But it is really scary sometimes to outlay such a big chunk of money and just hope and pray that it's going to work. But at the end of the day, we can sit and be paralyzed by that fear. Yeah, what if this isn't going to be worth it, worth it? Or you rip the band-aid off and you trust that you've been called into spaces or someone's energy for a reason, and sometimes you've just got to allow that to defy the logic.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Yeah, and I said that to you. I was like, this is scary, and I know there's so much beliefs that are circulating of like, don't do this, like, and and you were saying, like, we just had the best voice note back. And it was just this inner knowing, you know, of like, I need to be in this space. And, you know, there's there's so much lessons you get out of that. Like not only like the skills and the less the learnings along the way together, but what you learn about yourself and how you respond to, you know, challenge and how you respond to doubt or fear or scarcity. Like I know that's a lot of the work we do is flipping that energy and how that doesn't serve us, but the lessons that you learn about yourself in, you know, maybe when you don't show up or when you feel like you're self-sabotaging, like it's you get so much more out of it than you could ever expect. And yeah, I just I I truly believe that that's the thing that's helped me shift so many timelines in the last two and a half years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

And when you make those big scary investments, it commands more of you. You have no choice but to show up, put the work in, stretches your identity, which is necessary to shift your reality. Sometimes the smaller, cushy investments just don't have that oomph behind them.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Yeah, and you know, like trying like telling my husband, like well, like not asking, but having the conversation, you know, you feel like you you owe it to him, you know, when he's still kind of going through the motions of like, I'm gonna make this big investment again. And you know, like I can do this for us, you know. So it's like this is and watching what changes for us when we do this. So yeah, it's it's bigger, bigger than us as well.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

If you're okay doing so, I'd love to actually talk about your relationship with your partner and the journey that has gone on as well. Because I know you guys have rituals in your week now where you've got to have your hard conversations, which I love that you do that. Yeah, talk to us about how you have been able to bring him on this journey with you because I know personally this is something that I've often not been very good at. You know, I'm ambitious, driven, I know what I want, I get it done. Sometimes I leave people out of my journey and yeah, you know, knowing how to bring my husband along on a journey that he doesn't quite understand yet, but just because I want him here has been a challenge for me. So I'd love for you to share how you've bought Locke on this journey with you and what that has looked like for you guys.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Yeah, I love this question. And it's honestly so much of the work that I've done with my clients as well. It's it's relationships and it comes down to like when I had this, I think it was the timing for us too. Like when I had this big kind of breakdown and awakening, it felt like I said to you, like my whole world was crumbling around me and like everything that I believed to be true just wasn't true anymore. And Locke could see that happening, and he was like, holy fuck, like how how do I navigate this with her, you know? Because I was just like bringing up this and that I don't agree with this anymore. And like, this is all a lie. And it was just like all this, it was a lot. And I just I particularly this one time we came, one of my first long trainings. I went away and like again, this was when Eden was only like two, and I picked up and left Locke for 10 days with, you know, his like a limiting thought at that time was that I needed to control and be the one to, you know, lead all the things in the household. And he just took it under his stride and, you know, still went to work, managed, you know, putting Eden between parents, like while I was away doing training, my NLP training. And it when I came back from that, again, it was like another big awakening. And he was just like, oh my God. And the thing that brought us back together, and I know I've spoken to you that this about is like having a ritual every week where we come together and we share what's what's on our heart and what's going on. And at the start, it was it was about our relationship. So when do you feel most seen? Like, what do you appreciate about me? Like, how could I better supported you this week? We went into intimacy questions, like a lot of the things that you potentially just put at the back burner because you expect your partner to know, these were like vital for us during that time because so much was changing for me that I like I even said to him, I'm scared you're getting you're gonna get left behind because I can't stop. I can't stop what's like how quickly I'm moving. And that was really a challenging time. Like that was a good probably six to 12 months where I felt like I was moving so quick and like he wasn't understanding anything I was sharing, or why I wanted to make these investments in myself, or why I wanted to make this change, or again, like the biggest thing with homeschooling, like we're gonna do this. And he had trust in that, obviously, because I was a teacher. So he was like, Oh, we should be all right because she's a teacher. But he had the beliefs of like, fuck, like he and the creating this ritual of like when we check in with each other every Sunday over a coffee, it's like, what are the fears that you have? And his was like, All this, all the stories that came up. What what are we gonna do? Like, I had the best friends through through school. What if she doesn't have friends? Like the kids that homeschooled when I was at school, they were all weird, like you know, and that's and that was the belief. And I was like, I get it, you know. But I just like had this in and knowing that that wasn't for us, and I knew that I was gonna make it work, and that like my daughter, she runs her own, like she she sails her own boat, and we're kind of just on it with her. And I I knew that that wasn't going to support her moving into the education system, but it took like it's it is the biggest part of this work. And I actually had luck on the podcast a couple of weeks ago of constantly creating that space to come back to each other because I think it is. We can get like all these ambitions, and we're gonna do this next, and we're gonna do this next. But if we're not constantly sharing that with the person that's supporting us and holding us along the way, it can feel like a part of your life is getting left behind. And I refuse to let that part be left behind because everything else was falling apart, and we'd we have such a beautiful relationship, and he's the one that keeps me grounded when I feel like I'm like, we're gonna do this and we're gonna do this, and all these ideas that he's the one that kind of keeps me like kind of yeah, grounded, even though I'm like, we're doing this now. But um, yeah, I I really this question is so important because it's it's the person you spend your life with, like it's the person that you're gonna raise children together with. And if you're not somehow on the same trajectory, even if someone's a little bit further back, our weekly ritual is we call it a check-in, and we sit together every Sunday. And now it's come down to what was a win for the week, what was a challenge, what was a reflection and a commitment, and then just something we noticed in each other. Like I noticed that you did this. And honestly, when we have those check-ins now, like the safe space that we've kind of created to communicate, knowing that, and you go into the attachment styles, like we worked a lot around avoidant. I was quite avoidant in communication. Like, if I don't feel heard, I was out, checked out. Locke was more anxious, so he would like feel like he needed to do more. I feel like we've both been able to support each other in that. And there was for a while times when and I connected with um a relationship. Coach over this, I felt like I was more coaching in the relationship, and that lock spoke up about that. And so we really navigated that together. And but we've yeah, it's it's the ritual, Jess and I've spoken to you about this of just knowing every week. It's not somewhere where we bring out a list and say you did this. It's not that about that at all. It's literally what felt good for you this week, what was a challenge, and like knowing that we get to reflect back to each other of what we notice in each other. And that has been the thing that has kept us somewhat on the same and coming back to our values, like what you said, is yeah, this is this is the path we're on. And I love this question because this is what I support all my clients with. And I it's a big one. If you have um like quite deep attachment style with the avoidant, and like if you don't feel heard and you're you shut down, it can be really challenging to create a safe space in communication, particularly in your relationship with your partner.

Ali’s Work With Parent Education

SPEAKER_00 44:55

And this is why I love these conversations so much because a lot of my listeners are here because of their business, but you can't grow the business that you want, you can't have the empire that you want if those other areas of your life aren't taken care of. And again, I know I'm the first to admit I prioritize my business and my success and almost look at the areas like my relationship as a part to life, it should just catch up. Come on. Yeah, this is what we're doing, like you've mentioned. But we can't we can't expect them to be on the same page as us if we don't even talk to them about what page we're on and why we're here and why this is important to us. It's like just come on, come on. Um, but it's communication and it's actually having those hard conversations. It's awkward, it's difficult. Um, again, it goes against a lot of the way we watched our parents be in relationship. It's like it's not within us to have these conversations, but um, I think the women who are are the ones who are quantum leaping and creating so much success because they've got that support around them. And as you mentioned, what's the point of having this incredible life if your husband's not there to enjoy it with you? So I love that. Now I'd love for you to talk to your work and what you actually are doing in your orbit at the moment. I know you've had a brand shift, and before we hit record, I said to Ali, this just makes so much sense for you because I know there are so many women who want a life like you have, sending their kids to homeschooling and being able to sorry, homeschooling their kids and being able to hold that decision firm even if it goes against the grain, leaving a very successful career because it no longer felt right and just trusting that a business would form from that, packing everybody up, moving them 10 hours away. Like there would be a lot of women that look at your life and think, yep, I want that. So, how do you support them and what does your body of work look like now?

SPEAKER_01 46:46

Yeah, I love that. Um, so yeah, I've made a massive pivot, and it it's not a massive pivot, to be honest. Like what I was coaching and mentoring women around was coming back home to their truth and you know, creating a life that feels like theirs. And it was a lot of deep internal work. And like I said, I had a bit of a pause as I was moving into a member membership where I created more space and it kind of dropped in. And for a lot of the time when I was first coaching and doing the inner work, I'd pushed the part of me being a system principal and my time in education of like, I kind of failed that. And let's just like put that in another lifetime, like let's not talk about it. But every now and then I would speak up about it online and I would say like things that I notice as an exorcist and principal that I like don't support children or support the life that we're that we're here to create. And I always felt really empowered when I shared that. Like it was like, oh, I'm speaking from the heart a little bit, but I'm scared, like what my teacher friends think. And if everyone thinks that, like, yeah, it was a massive like belief of what people thought about me. And I, it was never like I have incredible colleagues in the system who are obviously all doing the very best they can. And it was a big belief of almost like isolating myself even more of like, are people still gonna love me when I speak my truth? Um, and yeah, I just felt really empowered when I started to share that. And I was like, fuck, like this is the work that I'm doing in my family, and I'm keeping this, you know, from people. Like, why am I keeping this from people? And it just dropped in of like, maybe this is what you're here to do. So yeah, I really pivoted in the last few months and I've been having incredible conversations of women who resonate with, you know, the feeling that they have. Like you said, they they know they want to homeschool. And I know this is even bigger for women who are in business because they've done a lot of the internal work and they know that they're the creators of their life, and especially with the work you do. And it's like, well, am I still creating the life I want when I go and put them into school? Like you said, and now I'm on a schedule that was never mine, and it doesn't even feel good to do that, you know, and then you you're potentially dealing with all the issues that come home from school of your child not feeling hurt or feeling ostracized or bullied or whatever it is because maybe they're not nurtured in the way that you would nurture them at home. So the work that I do now is just helping parents to build that trust within themselves that they've built in their businesses, in their life, but leading their child as well and that they get to create what it looks like. So I do a lot of work around creating a family rhythm and, you know, providing some structure because I know a lot of us like structure and we like to know how things are going to look, but also the the ability to create freedom in that. So a bit of a rhythm that works for your child. We delve into really like what your child's likes are, the environments that they really light them up, their curiosities, and also how you can support them as their mother or parents. And so that's the work I'm doing now in a one-on-one space. Um, so do one-on-one mentoring and yeah, it just feels really alive. And yeah, the conversations that I'm having, I know a lot of the women that come to me, they've kept it on their heart. And so I love this conversation because the work that you and I have done together has really helped create this reality for me. And I think, yeah, what you've shared today of knowing that this is the direction that you want to go when you have children and knowing that the freedom piece, this is why we all create our businesses, is to have that freedom and choice and to create the life is you get to do the same with your child as they grow and learn. Because at the end of the day, like I can't preface this enough. And I used to say it to parents all the time when they'd come to me and say, like, Ali, like the homework, it doesn't make sense. Like I just taught them this way or like the way that I learned, or what felt good for me. And I was like, Great, because you are their best teacher and you always will be, you know. And so just coming back to that truth of like coming back to our truth of like we have these children to have like an evolutionary journey with. And what makes us think that sending them away for most of their life makes sense, you know, of in someone else's hands? Why we continue to build a life, like, why can't we show them that they can help us build it too?

Breadcrumbs And Closing Invitations

SPEAKER_00 51:04

And if you're listening to this podcast, you are one of the most capable, intelligent, smart, powerful women. Like, as you mentioned, share that with your kids. Give yourself the opportunity to give that to them in the way that you can. Um, yeah, absolutely love this. So I'm gonna link your podcast in the show notes below as well as your Instagram. If this conversation has called you forward, reach out to Ali or simply just follow her journey and just allow the seed to plant. If this is a new perspective on life for you, it may come with some resistance, but just remain curious. I think one lesson that's come from this conversation today is follow the breadcrumbs and potentially you listening to this conversation today is one of those soul breadcrumbs that you're just supposed to be curious and just see where it may take you. So um, yeah, if this conversation has lit you up in whatever way, connect with Ali and and just just learn more about this way of way of living. Um, Ali, thank you so much for sharing your story today and for being such an inspiration that another way to live life is possible for the everyday average woman that grew up in a traditional family, like your proof that we don't need to be stuck in the programming when we just know it's not for us. And it doesn't need to look like this big drastic move. It just needs to be like just just listen to your soul's mess message and that intuition and be okay about figuring it out every single day and just I guess just trusting that it's supposed to work out for you. It's why that intuition is so loud and clear for you right now.

SPEAKER_01 52:42

Thank you, Jess, and thank you for the work you do. Honestly, this conversation is it's been a beautiful conversation and I just appreciate you know how much I've been able to grow along with your support and the community that you've created and continue to create. And yeah, just thank you for the work you do too. But yeah, looking forward to hearing from anyone that, you know, feels this, like you said, on their heart, on their soul. And yeah, know that yeah, we're in this together. So I'm here to support you.

SPEAKER_00 53:09

Well, thank you, Allie. Grateful for you always and grateful for you guys on the other side of this. Thank you so much for tuning into the Abundant Align podcast. Um, yeah, just grateful for the community and the conversations that we're having as women, and it's always such an honor to be a part of them. So we'll leave it there for this week, and I will talk to you guys in the next episode.