Getting you ready for power with Alexis Meruelo

In this episode, I’m joined by Alexis Meruelo, nationally recognised speaker, executive, author, second-generation business leader, and Chief Vision and Purpose Officer of the Meruelo Group. Alexis is also the founder of Business of Her, a national women’s conference created to support the next generation of female business leaders, and the author of the Amazon bestselling book Getting You Ready for Power.

This conversation is for the woman who knows she is no longer available to shrink, wait to be chosen, soften her ambition, or keep making herself easier to approve of.

Because we are not just talking about confidence.

We are talking about power.

In this episode, Alexis and I explore:

• The hidden ways high-achieving women still wait to be chosen, even when they already have the résumé, reputation, and results
• Why confidence may not be the real thing holding you back from more leadership and success
• How the desire to be agreeable and liked can quietly dilute your authority, influence, and leadership
• What separates a woman who wants to be seen as a leader from a woman who can actually hold leadership

This episode is a must-listen for ambitious women, female entrepreneurs, leaders, founders, and high-achieving women who are ready to claim more visibility, success and power. 

Connect with Alexis:

alexismeruelo.com

Enrol in The Collective: A mentorship for women in business ready to expand into multi five figure and six figure months, attract premium clients and become known in the high-end space in their industry.

Book the mini private 1:1 mentorship package here. 

Further Resources: 

• Follow me on Instagram for daily mindset tips and lots of BTS content of my life (building a 7 figure business, living by the beach, my daily routines and travels) 
• Browse the free resources - meditations, manifestation tracks and more 
• See what's currently open for enrolment here or browse courses available on demand here 

Transcript

Welcome And Who This Is For

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to the Abundant and Alone Podcast. Today's conversation is for the woman who knows she is not here to keep your drinking, waiting to be chosen, or softening her ambition so other people feel uncomfortable. I'm joined in the studio today by Alexis Morello, a nationally recognized speaker, executive, the author, and second generation business leader. She is the chief vision and purpose officer of the Morello Group, the founder of the conference, a business of her, and author of the Amazon best-selling book getting you ready for power. And in this episode, we are not just talking about competence, we are talking about power and what it means to claim it and hold it and become the woman who is truly ready for power. You guys are gonna love this episode. So turn the volume up and let's get into it with Alexis. Welcome to the Abundant and Aligned Podcast, a place where you will come to realize anything that you desire is possible. I'm Jess, mindset and business coach, and I'm on a mission to lead women to a life far from average. In this show, you can expect conversations around manifestation, subconscious reprogramming, entrepreneurship, and the daily habits of a woman living a life that is both successful and fun. Imagine a TED talk, but over wine. My wish for you is that you experience an unlimited flow of money, a business that attracts your dream clients, and the freedom to spend your time how you choose. And if you stick with me, that will soon be your reality. I'm honored to be on the journey with you, so let's get into it. Alexis, welcome to the Abundant and Align podcast. I'm so excited to be sitting down with you today.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Likewise, I cannot wait. I'm so, so excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

You've just launched a book, Getting You Ready for Power. Before we get into that, how's the launch going?

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Um, it's kind of talking to you about this before we started, but you know, it's like I think most authors make a promise to themselves that once that book is out, you will forever be a promoter and a communicator of that message of the book. And so it is going really well. Um, but like many authors, it's not a one and done. It is a commitment to continue to talk about it, continue to put it out there because you never really know who needs to hear your message.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

So for sure. And we are going to get into the foundations of your book, but it really resonated with me, and I know my audience will absolutely lap up the concepts you talk about in your book, which is I want to start with the title, Getting You Ready for Power. When I read the title of your book, I immediately thought about the women in my audience who they're not afraid of failure, they are more afraid of what will happen when they become powerful. So I'd love for you to talk about what you mean when you say getting you ready for power.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

That's so interesting. I think power can come and will always be exactly what you need it to be. I don't think it's something to be scared of. Uh, quite the contrary, I think it's something we should embrace and something that even though it may seem scary, being your true power and alignment is the best way to live in full authenticity of yourself because you're not holding back. Um, and I think that's where we need to get most all women, right? Is being able to truly live exactly the way they need to and want to authentically to themselves. Um, but the whole, the whole premise, uh, it's funny, when I was writing it, I didn't always know exactly what the title was gonna be. I think I I worked backwards there. Um, it was originally every girl matters, but um this one actually came out of me when one of my girlfriends asked, Well, if you had one sentence that you want all girls to know about, what would it be? And it was like, well, I just I need for as many girls to get into power. And it came out of me and I was like, oh, that's it. So it's it's a three-step process, really, of the three different phases that I not only went through in my life, but it's a playbook on what other women can do for themselves and to how to get into power. And if you read it and get into it, I promise it's not scary at all.

What Power Looks Like In Practice

SPEAKER_00 4:25

I think there's such a buzz at the moment around visibility and what it truly is going to entail when you are known in your industry. So, for context, I have an audience full of women in business who are here to become leaders in their industry. They do want to step into power. I find a lot of the conversations I get into are yeah, what what happens when I am truly seen? What happens when the world really knows me for who I am to that core? So I would love for you to talk about like what does power mean to you? And if a woman was truly living in her power, what would that look like in your world?

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Oh my God. It would be without limitation or restriction of her true authentic self. And I think so many times as women, we have been um, you know, through societal constructs around us, placed to believe that we had to act or live or breathe a certain way. So, for example, walking into a boardroom when I was a young girl, right? I remember thinking I was surrounded by a sea of suits, and that because I was young and because I was a woman, I immediately felt like my voice was this big. And it didn't matter what I said or how smart I was, it was already invalidated just because of that. And so moving forward, I think it's really important for specifically women to do this work on ourselves because we already know, right? We already know the constructs and are aware of what society has placed on us. But now that we know, what are we gonna do about it? And how are we going to work on ourselves to continue to always live in our power regardless of how other people perceive us? Uh, and I think that's the key, right? It's we understand that there are limitations in the way people see us, but that's not going to affect the way that we show up. And those are two different things.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

A concept you talk about in your book is confidence is not something you wait to achieve within yourself, it's something you build. Do you think confidence is what's really holding women back in their business, in their career, or do you think it's something so much deeper and they label it as a confidence issue?

SPEAKER_01 6:41

A hundred percent it's deeper. 100%. You know, I like to I like to say that confidence is something that we can all grow and work on, right? By proving to ourselves that we are capable. So let's say you have a skill and you're really, really great at public speaking, naturally, you could do a lesson, two lessons, three lessons. By the time you've spent a few hours, you're already on stage an expert because it's something that you've already naturally been inclined to be really good at, and all of a sudden you're very confident in it, right? Versus trying to do something that comes not naturally to you, right? Like if you put me in a room and told me to look at spreadsheets all day, I would be like this is really hard. I could do it, but I wouldn't be as quick or efficient as somebody that is that numbers-minded human being, right? So I think that confidence is not always something we like to think that we can change, but we totally can. But at the end of the day, without self-worth, which is the the key of everything, doesn't matter how many times we do something or what what room we're in or what title we have, we are never gonna believe that we deserve power if we do not have self-worth in ourselves. And so that's the core of phase one in my book is doing that uncovering and the digging to really see whether or not you have worth in yourself. And if not, healing that part. So once it's intact, then we can go from there. But that's really at the core of everything.

Confidence Is Built Not Granted

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Yeah, because there are so many talented, ambitious women out there who are still shrinking themselves. And they would probably walk into a room and everybody else in the room would call them confident because they have the skill set of a confidence person, but again, they're still hiding behind that deeper layer of self-worth, imposter syndrome. The amount of so I I know some of the most talented women in business and they don't see it. And imposter syndrome is such a real, I don't want to call it an issue because it's not an issue, but it's it's something that women in business face every single day. So I'd love to dive into that part of your book. What advice do you give women to work through that self-worth lock and how do they truly thrive and step into their power by dealing with that deeper layer, not just trying to get better at things?

SPEAKER_01 9:05

So here's the thing there's over three-fourths of women. So 75% of women at some point in their career will face imposter syndrome. That's a big number, right? It's not like 10%, 20%, no, no, no, no. It's 75% of us. And so going back to recognizing and remembering that if you feel this imposter syndrome, one, please know it is not your fault. It's not because you're not smart enough, not fast enough, not strong enough. It's none of those things. It is the construct society placed on us to make us feel that way. So step one is understanding it's not your fault. Um, it doesn't showcase that you're not smart enough to be in that room whatsoever, or not capable enough to be in the room. You are. But the second part of that is once you understand and once you see your own worth and you have your own value system that says at the core, regardless of what anyone else says, I know the value that I bring. And if you don't see it, that's okay. I'm just in the wrong room or in the wrong space or with the wrong team. But I promise you, if you can get into those spaces where you are aligned with the job and the work that you're doing, that you not only really enjoy, but also are surrounded by people that see that worth, that's when the magic happens because you know you can you can continue to work with people that aren't in alignment and you're never gonna get anywhere. It's always gonna be friction. But when you reach that state of flow, it's like, oh, this is what it was supposed to be all along, right? And all of a sudden things start moving at lightning speed, right? Things are like incrementally going so fast. You're like, how are opportunities falling in my lap? It's not it's not a coincidence and it's not an accident. It's because you are in alignment with yourself, you see your worth and you are working with people that are all going towards that goal.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

I was on a podcast interview yesterday and we're talking about environments, getting yourself into rooms where people pull this out of you and strengthen what was already inside of you. But the unfortunate truth was perhaps you grew up in a household where not only was that not pulled out of you, but a lot of you was actually dimmed, told to be quiet. As you've mentioned, live in accordance with this construct that does keep so many women smaller than they should be. And on this episode, we spoke about getting environments and getting in rooms, which I know is a big part of your book as well, building your team. You talk about building your team of mentors, and you share a stat in there about the difference it can make for a woman, those who get in mentorship and those who don't. Please share that.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Yeah. Okay, so here's the crazy, here's the crazy stat. Only 37% of women currently have female mentors or just mentors in general. And of the 37% that have mentors, only 17% of that number actually got their mentors by directly asking. So imagine that only 17% of us are asking, hey, I really love your work. I love what you're about. Would you be open to creating a mentorship relationship with me? And maybe meeting twice or three times a year just to catch up and get your guidance and your advice on what I'm working on. 17%.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Because I could not be where I am in my career and in my business had it not been for the mentors that I've paid and worked with, but just surrounded myself with. That's that's crazy. What do you think holds women back from immersing themselves in mentorship, asking the question for help?

Self Worth Under Imposter Syndrome

SPEAKER_01 12:31

You know, I like to always say, it's because we tell ourselves that we are way too busy for each other. And it's so funny because I did that to myself. And there's a there's a story in the book that I'll share now with you. But basically, somebody had introduced me to this super successful businesswoman. And I met her, we hit off, she gave me her cell phone number. A couple months went by, and the friend that introduced us was like, Oh, did you talk to so and so? And I was like, No. And she's like, Well, why not? And I'm like, Well, she's got five kids, she's running an empire, she's so busy. Um, like, why would I bother her with my questions? And like, she doesn't need like what? And in that moment, I was like, Oh my god, I know why all the girls I gave myself a number to never call me back. Because we tell ourselves, like, oh, they're too busy, they don't have time. Meanwhile, I'm over here waiting, looking at my cell phone, wondering why they're not texting me, offended. I'm like, why are they not calling me? This is so rude of them. Like, I gave them my cell phone number, right? And so it was just that moment of like, oh, we we're telling ourselves these things that aren't true. There's women that genuinely want to take an hour out of their week and give advice to somebody that's up and coming so that they can get to their dreams 10 times faster, stronger, better. Like, why would you take away that opportunity? But we don't see it that way because women, we don't like to, we don't like to burden other people. We don't like to be like, oh, I'm just one more thing on your docket you have to worry about. And we're we're so empathetic in that way, but I think men would never see that. They would never do that, right? And so my challenge to all the women is who is that person that you wish you could get advice from? And I want you to send them an email, send them a DM. I don't care if they do or don't respond. The point is that you're doing it because most of us aren't even doing it. And yeah, it's crazy. I mean, how many women do you know that are actually sending those emails?

SPEAKER_00 14:30

No. And if I ever send a voice message to somebody who I've seen in my community and I identify them as someone who should be in one of my mentorship spaces, I'll reach out to them and they are always like, Oh my god, like thank you so much for reaching out. I'm like, like you said, I'm like, no, meanwhile, I'm over here waiting for you to come to me. Like, what are we doing here? Like doing this weird dance where you want to reach out to me. I want you to reach out to me. And then we're both just sitting here.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Like, why are we doing this? This is crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

So a lot of conversation I have with women is the more powerful they become, the more successful they become. They fear they'll become unrelatable. And I think that's where that gap gets bigger and bigger, right? Between the the woman seeking mentorship and the mentor. And the further that gap gets, the more likely or the less likely that conversation is going to happen. So, what do you think women misunderstand when it comes to power? And I want to talk about the fear of becoming unrelatable. What's the difference between being unrelatable and being respected? Um, yeah, I'd love for you to talk on that.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Okay, two points I want to make on this. The first is did you see that TikTok that Eli Rallo made about the being unrelatable?

SPEAKER_00 15:44

No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Okay, I'm gonna have some to you offline because just share it with your audience because it was so good. But basically, what she was saying was like, men never fear being unrelatable. And society never puts that concept on them. So, for example, like you would never hear a woman be like, um, oh, he has so much money, he uh drives cars, he's so unrelatable. Like what man, right, would like look at another man and be like, oh, he's got a Rolex and a tennis court, like so unrelated. Who does he think he's it's it's aspirational? Yeah, but then flip it when a woman does it, all of a sudden here we go again. We're thinking about everybody else, right? We're like, oh, if I have that Birken, if I have that thing, all of a sudden, shame on me, right? I've never once, never once been like, oh, shame on him. He drives the Maserati.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Yeah, it's so true. Why do you think women are like this? Like, where does it come from?

Mentors Change Everything Ask Directly

SPEAKER_01 16:41

It's because we care so much about other people in our community and and we understand what it means to be an empathetic leader. So we're always thinking about others, which is an amazing quality to have. But at some point, we have to start to normalize women being successful, right? Because if we don't, we're never gonna flip that societal script that was already pre-written for us. Like it's it's pre-written for us. When we hold ourselves back from even sharing on social media like who we are or what we have to offer, what an injustice to those who we serve, right? And if we continue to say, oh, I have too much or I don't want to show any of this, well, people would actually find it inspirational, and yet we still we still don't do it. So it's a practice. I think one woman, if you are succeeding, please share with the class.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Like I would sit and watch that content all day long. Some of the mentors that I've looked up to over the years, if they had a camera in their house, I would be there watching everything. It's so inspiring, it's so activating, it shows us what is possible. And we know that when we look up to people, so why are we not willing to put ourselves on that pedestal? Knowing there is somebody a couple steps behind us who they're having that same experience. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

100%. I'm over here nodding my head ferociously. I'm like, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Um, now, one of the messages I love also in your book is you talk about not waiting for opportunities, but creating them. Where do you think women are still sitting back hoping to be chosen? And how would you like them to proceed instead? So they are going after those opportunities and being hungry for the power and the success that they know they want in their career.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Oh my God. Okay, first of all, do not be afraid. Do not be afraid of owning a business, uh a lifestyle, a podcast, anything that you want to create. Because as women, it is our birthright to be successful, to have abundance, to put ourselves out into the world, because that's what we came here to do. We came here to share our gifts and talents with the world. So please, please, please do not hold back. If you have this gut feeling, it's kind of like Oprah says, like, eventually it turns into like a whisper and then a nudge, and all of a sudden, like the universe like pushes you off a ledge and you're like, oh my God, it's like knocking so loud you can't ignore it. Well, that's no coincidence. Like, that's because you're supposed to be putting that on there. Like you're supposed to be creating it. I also think that like if if you want to create or do something, the only person that's truly gonna hold you back is you. Because if you're meant to do it, every door will open, things will open for you that you never imagined could happen. But you have to believe in you, and that's at the core of everything.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

You have to be willing to open that first door. So many women are hovering over the door handle, wanting to walk in, wanting to pitch themselves to the podcast, wanting to ask to be a speaker at that event, wanting to collaborate with someone, partnership with someone. They can see what's on the other side of the door, but they're just not opening it. But I love that you just mentioned then go through that first door, the next one will naturally open, and the next one will naturally open, and the next one will naturally open. This is supposed to work out for women, and I wish more knew that and trust that. You just just leap and trust that the universe will catch you and um go after it.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

I actually have a question for you. Um, I follow uh Taj Oakley. I'm a big fan of Monday Swim and what she's built, and I would be lying if I said I didn't have multiple of her bathing suits this season. So big fan of what she's created. But here's something that I want to ask you. She says that in Australia there's like this tall poppy syndrome. Is that true?

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Yes, very much so.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Um, and because we are having an international conversation right now, I think it would be important to maybe ask you like, what has that been like? And what can women in the US and my community learn from you guys of that? Um, because I think that, tell me if I'm wrong, but I think women in the US are a little bit more audacious in their goals because they're not looking around thinking someone else is gonna cut them off. Um, we're we're now starting to see a huge revelation for women, like, oh, if we support each other, we're both gonna win. And it's like finally clicking, like, oh, this is what the good old boys club was. We're like, oh, like, oh, okay. So can you tell me a little bit more about that?

SPEAKER_00 21:17

Yes. Tall poppy syndrome is so real here in Australia, and I hate to say that I feel like it's not getting better. We're in an evolution of entrepreneurship. You can start a business doing whatever, and you can probably be successful, but it's still keeping so many women back. But yes, tall poppy syndrome, a belief is ingrained in so many women. Don't be a show off, be humble, don't talk about your success, um, you know, don't put others down by being too much. This huge belief of live your life to make others comfortable. And I have felt this yeah, so many times. So, very quick backstory. I used to be a lawyer. Before I got into the work I do now is in network marketing. And I don't know what that's like over in the US, but here in Australia, people still call it a scam, a pyramid scheme. You are so outcasted by doing a business like this. And I was in this business, and people would literally come up and say to me, You're showing off, you know, it's so cringe when you talk about your success in that business. Um make fun of the post that I would put up when I'm just celebrating my business. And yeah, this was a very real thing I had to move through. And I know so many women are still moving through this where they fear making others uncomfortable because they're doing something others are too afraid to do.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Wow. Okay. Oh my God. It sounds like we need to bring some of our collective women's groups over to Australia then. That's like a big opportunity, then, because we are not operating, at least in our female business world in the US, that way. I think we have finally figured out that supporting each other actually gets us more opportunities. Um, and the more that we share resources and insights, the more that all of the women can make more money and start to level up. And it's not gonna knock you down by helping another person. I'll give you a perfect example. Have you heard of the um the entrepreneistas? Uh, yes. Okay, so um big fan of theirs, but then we happened to randomly meet and connect in in Vegas and ended up becoming friends with them. And I remember I this was like in the midst of when I was launching my own women's conference in Vegas called The Business of Her. And somebody had asked me, like, oh, but wouldn't that be like pairing up with your competition if you guys did something together? And my first thought was, what a waste it would be if we didn't. And I think us partnering together is actually proof that more opportunities have come to both of us because we are both accelerating the movement for women, and more people have walked through my door, more people have walked through their doors because we've allowed for collaboration across both parties, versus me looking at them like competition or like I'm trying to knock something down. And I think it was the first time where I saw it play out and proved it wrong, like completely proved it wrong. So I'd be interested. I think maybe we're we're due for an international leg. Maybe we do something in Australia.

Unrelatable Versus Respected

SPEAKER_00 24:23

You can see that in the states, just a different attitude towards success. And so many Australians are wasting their potential because of this feeling over here that you'll be seen as a show-off and too much, and you should be humble. It's it's really sad, it's really frustrating. But I'm so glad we're having conversations like this to wake people up and help them step into their power. So they're not wasting their potential, they're not shrinking themselves.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Can I give one more example? Yeah. Just to paint the picture for your audience. So I'm sure many Australians are aware of Las Vegas, right? Like Viva Las Vegas, it's a it's an iconic city that brings together hundreds of thousands of people for parties and conferences, and it's an amazing city. Um, but I always like to say that Las Vegas is a city that proves that no matter what happens, all of the casinos, instead of looking at each other like we're competitors, we actually see each other as just a place where we can all succeed. I'll give you a perfect example. When a national sports team comes and uh opens, every single hotel wins. Every we get more foot traffic, we get more people gambling, we get more people um eating at our restaurants, we get more people coming to see. Like it doesn't matter that you know, we have different offerings, we have different price points, we have different things that you can come to each hotel for because there's gonna be a customer for all of us. Does that make sense? Yeah. And so I think it really disproves that. It's like when when we when the city got our first uh National Hockey League, when our city got uh the Raiders to come, a football team, when um these big concerts or the sphere comes to Vegas and it's like this international spectacle of an entertainment place, everybody wins. Like every single casino across the strip won at some point, right? And it wasn't us trying to fight for come consumers or come, it wasn't it wasn't any sort of that. It was like, oh, well, because F1 came to Vegas, every single hotel saw a room increase on their rates. Yeah, every single one.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

There it is, so it's like room for everyone, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Yeah, exactly. It's like the perfect microcosm of that example of play out in real life.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Yeah, good analogy to give for sure. I'd love for you to talk about just circling us back now to you have to go out and create your own opportunities, not just sit back in your office and waiting for people to come to you. I'd love for you to share some moments in your own career where you have sought out an opportunity, what that looked like and how that did pay off for your career.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

Ooh, I mean so many. I think one of the ones that was my biggest leap of faith was creating a national women's conference. And the reason for that is because I think when we first came out with tickets, I'll never forget it, it was like crickets for weeks. And we heard not a single ticket was sold. And I was like, oh my god, what did we do? Like, what have I done? Like, I spent months and so much time and creating websites and marketing and logos and branding and mission statements and all this stuff. And I was like, Did I just waste all of this? But what ended up happening was little by little, people started to hear about it, and little by little things started to move. And so by November, we sold out and had over 300 people attend the conference. And so I keep thinking to myself, like, those months where it was like, oh, what have I done? Those were the moments that if I proved, if I didn't prove to myself that that leap of faith was worth it, I would have never done it. And I would never have continued to keep doing it in so many other ways of my life. And it just goes to show, like, if you have a passion and you genuinely believe that this needs to be out into the world, it doesn't matter if 10 people show up, it doesn't matter if 50 people show up. What matters is you did it and you're putting it out into the world. And at some point, you're gonna learn or it will be a success. But either way, there's nothing lost because you've created something. You just have to do it if it's in you. What a waste for it not to.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Just before you move on, I want to quickly talk about the crickets before your conference. Let's talk about how you stay in your power during that time. How did you hold the vision when your external reality was not looking like you anticipated? Let's talk to that because there are a lot of women who are selling something in their business, launching products, conferences, tickets, and they may currently be in a moment where it's silence or they've experienced that before. And instead of staying in their power and staying the course, they've retracted. So talk to us about how you navigated that.

Create Opportunities And Beat Tall Poppy

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Okay, that's actually a really great question. Here's the thing: when we did start to hear crickets, I made a promise to myself. I said, I don't care if only 30 people show up to this thing because we still will impact 30 lives. And if that's the number that's supposed to be in the room, let it happen. But something I did was I shifted my perspective. And instead of sitting there and three months worrying and waking up worried every day, my my worry and anxiety wasn't gonna change the outcome. Like me sitting there being like, oh my God, I'm gonna go, like that doesn't move ticket sales. And so what I ended up doing was I was like, I'm gonna promise myself I'm gonna stop worrying and I'm just gonna take action. And I'm gonna do whatever I can to spread the word. And if everything I did still wasn't enough, let it be. But I have to take action. And so it forced me to find new ways and to think outside the box of how to how to put it out there, right? I I um contacted different uh local social media influencers and said, hey, if we gave you a free ticket, would you guys be interested in um creating a post for us and collabing and sharing it? Or um we reached out to different universities and said, We have a conference, we'd be willing to um figure out a way to get the ticket price cheaper for young girls to attend. Would this be something of interest? Um we reached out to, I mean, so many different organizations and sent the emails and pushed it on all different platforms, and little by little, it started to move, right? But it was because I was brave enough to stop to silence the worry and to start really taking action and it forced me to take action. And lo and behold, we sold out. So we like literally didn't have enough goodie backs, like I didn't order enough stuff.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

That's a great problem to have. Um, I love that you just mentioned it's not helpful to sit in your worry and your inning and your anxiety and make this mean anything about the launch. Just get to work, go and fix the problem. I think we forget that we have that in our power. Go and do more, spread the word more, get the feelers out there more. Again, you sitting in your office feeling sorry for yourself is not going to sell a damn ticket. So let's let's go, people. Um, you know what? I'd love to actually talk about the hard work required to step into your power and be a leader because I think, you know, okay, let's let's let's start here. My podcast is huge on the mindset required to be a leader and to create a lot of success. But there does come the action part to building an empire and being seen as a leader and stepping into your power. So I love to talk to that, like the not so sexy sides of stepping into your power and being a leader within your career.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

I mean, there's there's a lot of different ways I could answer this question. I think one of them is not being afraid to look at your fears in the face. And it's really sticky, it's hard because it takes a lot out of you, I think. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that a lot of my success actually came from my ability to look inward and do the self-healing. Um, I cannot even tell you. I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't been connected to different spiritual healers or um career coaches, um, different uh like places and spaces that I found therapy and rewired my brain in the way I was thinking. If I hadn't done all those things, I wouldn't be where I am today. And I think one of the most important key takeaways to this is investing in yourself will always pay dividends. Even though in the very beginning, to me, it felt like a big fat waste of money. I was like, oh, this wad of money, like I'm just throwing like a career coach. Oh, here goes thousands of dollars. Like, I'm never gonna see that again, right? Where's my ROI? Like, I could be putting this as thought in the stock market. Like, what am I doing? And it felt so counterintuitive. But let me tell you something. That is the best money I ever spent. And looking back three years later, I still keep talking about how important it was that I invested in myself and I ponied up and I literally got a career coach because had I not, I would still be spinning my wheels and trying to figure out my life purpose. Like I would still, like, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be inspiring hundreds of women. I wouldn't be doing national conferences, I wouldn't have a book. So I think it's really important to invest in yourself. And it doesn't mean you have to spend a lot of money. You could that could mean going to a bookstore this weekend and going to read five different books on self-development. That could mean you spend time with a friend that runs a business and spend a whole afternoon with her talking to her and building out a plan for yourself. That can mean finally getting into therapy. Whatever that looks like for you, there's ways to do it without spending endless amounts. But the point is that you're spending and investing time and you're making a bet on yourself. And that's the most important thing you can do. And I still am so grateful to it's probably the best investment I ever made. Again, there's no real ROI to it, but where my life is now, I I never want to go backwards. Like I only want to go forwards.

Holding The Vision When It Is Quiet

SPEAKER_00 34:42

I agree. I always say your life will only grow as much as you do. And same thing in my career, there's been so many expansive moments that have come because of that inner work that I've done. Also, just the stretching of your identity that happens when you do outlay a sum of money onto yourself. Again, this is something else that I know a lot of women feel uncomfortable doing taking a chunk of money and investing it on themselves. Like, what do you mean I'm gonna outlay thousands on myself when I've got kids and bills to pay, and I should be responsible with my money? I hate hearing that. Um, but it's that growth that is going to create the external growth. And I think so many women are missing the mark when it comes to understanding that.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Yeah. And again, like I think we can be and do anything we want, but again, if you're broken internally, what good is that? You're never gonna be. I always like to say, like, you're never really truly gonna be in power because you can be in the most successful rooms, you can be uh appointed vice president of whatever, but if internally you're broken, everybody can feel it. Like your whole team knows. Like, there's like you could keep playing the facade, but intrinsically, people know and they get a vibe and they get an energy, and you could be operating at a hundred level, and inside you're operating at 1.0.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

The energy is felt. It doesn't matter how well you articulate your words, how prepared you are for that presentation, how much you know your shit. As you've mentioned, if you walk into a boardroom meeting, if you get onto a podcast episode, if you do anything in leadership capacity, crumbling inside that energy is felt. That's what's going to either make or break what you are about to do. Um, I absolutely love this. Now, before we do wrap this up, I'd love you for you to just quickly pull about pull apart the best parts of your book. Um, we've spoken about some concepts like go out and create your own opportunities. Um, you know, confidence is is not something that has to hold you back. It's something that you can create within yourself. Um, but yeah, what else do you want my audience to walk away with from your book that you know will just help them stop shrinking and really step into their power?

Invest In Yourself And Share Your Story

SPEAKER_01 37:05

Oh my gosh. Well, I'll break it quickly into the three phases so they kind of know what to expect. Um, the first is really diving inward, knowing yourself, finding your self-worth, and doing that rewiring of where you really want to be. The second part is finding your mentors, building your support bench, building the people around you that are gonna be there for you when you fall, right? It's not if, it's when, because stuff will continue to happen in life. And even though you know who you are, you have your worth, you're you might still you will still tumble, right? But who are you gonna pick up? Who are you gonna call? Who's gonna pick up the phone when you need that support to get back up the next day? Because that's going to help you stay on track. And then the third phase is putting yourself out into the world authentically. Now, that may seem easy, but for those of you who have never um tried to share your story, I I dare you to all take your phone, take your camera, and flip it and start recording yourself. And you'll see how serious it is. Because if you have never really tried to um share yourself on social media, film a TikTok, get on a podcast, talk about it, uh, I promise you will quickly learn how hard it really is. So I think that uh people who share themselves uh for the world make it look easy. But the truth is that in order to get into power, you have to hone your, you have to own your story and hone in on who you are and really share it. And if you're not sharing it, those opportunities won't come. Your power won't come because you're not claiming and owning your story. You're not claiming who you are, and you're always gonna be 1.0 level, right? It's never gonna continue to grow because you're not putting yourself out there. So that's that's the arc of the book. I also have some research I did. I have stories of my actual work with young women and my mentees and what their lives have looked like. And I also share my own personal stories. And so I hope that women see themselves in my failures and my losses and my embarrassing stories. Um, I hope they also feel inspired by my writing and by my work. Um, I also have an entire chapter on what success looks like without a ring. Um, I have been single my entire life. And when you get to your mid-30s and are still single, people start to look at you differently. And so it really forced me to redefine what success was on my own terms. And I promise you, for women in their 30s or even young women listening in their 20s, it is the most liberating thing you will ever do to focus on yourself and to realize that your worth is your own and belongs to no one else. And um, if you do nothing else today um but read chapter nine, I highly recommend it. Um, you will see yourself in my breakup, you will see yourself in my loss, and I hope that all women go through a similar version of the breakup I went through because it's the magic portal to the next level of you. And so, yeah, there's a lot in there, but um, I'm excited for women to read it.

Defining Success Without A Ring

SPEAKER_00 40:33

There's so much. Well, I'm gonna link everything in the show notes below. Go and grab your copy of Getting You Ready for Power and sink your teeth into this because I know so many of you listening to this show are ready for this level of leadership, and this is the blueprint to really be seen in your power and change the world when you do so. No more shrinking behind these beliefs that you are too much or you'll make others uncomfortable. Go and be in codes unrelatable. Get yourself up on that pedestal, be the one others look up to and just think, holy shit, I want to be her. Like, I love her so much. Because it's happening. Um, again, like just the version you are today, people look up to. And I think some women think they need more money, more success, more of this, more of that before they are on that pedestal. But no, there are so many, so many watching you as the version you are today, and we need to shine a light on that a little bit more. So, Alexis, thank you for helping them do that and sharing your body of work with the world. I really do appreciate women who are leading conversations like this, who are genuinely here to make other women's lives better. So I appreciate the work you are doing in the world, and I'm so, so grateful that we connected and could have this chat today.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

Oh my gosh, likewise. Um, I actually was so excited when you said yes and reached out because I lived in Australia in my college years. I lived in Fremantle. So I spent a lot of time out there, and I am um very much in love with uh your culture, your coffee, the people, all of it. And so I really was excited to hear that business of her getting you ready for power. And this podcast was going international.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

And it's now in Australia. And if you ever come over this way, we'll have to grab a coffee and catch up and do this in person.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

I would love that. I would love that. It's on my bucket list to spend a month out there at some point. So we'll see.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

We'll circle back. Um, Alexis, thank you again for coming onto the Abundant and Alive podcast. To the listeners, go and grab your copy of this book. Um, follow the links below, go and check out Alexis' work. If you're over in the States, keep an eye out for the conference that you do. Um, and yeah, just stay plugged into women like like her and and and this show. Um, but for now we're gonna leave it there. I appreciate you all, and I will talk to you in the next episode.