Embrace Your Mess, Find Your Message: Separating Identity from Behavior - Ep 119

Mess to Majesty: Let God Love You In Your Mess by Mukkove Johnson, available on Amazon.

Embrace Your Mess, Find Your Message: Separating Identity from Behavior

Break the shame cycle by refusing to hide your messes and instead practice the courage cycle of repeatedly facing fear, pain, and grief. “Embracing your mess” means being honest about what’s wrong without making it your identity, recognizing that messes can be cleaned up. Embracing the mess allows you to separate your behavior from your identity.  Jesus loves you despite your sin and turns healing into a message that can encourage others. Doing harmful things is not the same as being defined by them.

00:00 Shame to Courage
00:42 Embrace Your Mess
01:22 Why It Matters
02:49 Personal Anger Story
03:46 Jesus Sees Our Worth
04:37 You Are Not Alone
05:16 Testimony Brings Healing
06:03 Closing Invitation

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Transcript

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Shame And Courage Recap

SPEAKER_00 0:14

We have talked about the shame cycle. We have talked about how hiding our messes can keep us stuck, keep us captive. We talked last week about the courage cycle and how we aren't just brave once and done with fear forever. But by definition, we must keep facing fear and pain and grease and choosing to do the right thing to practice courage. And this week we're talking about the power of embracing. Your chapter in Mess to Majesty was embrace your mess, find your message. And um, that could be true of the woman at the well for sure. She found a message

What It Means To Embrace

SPEAKER_00 0:53

and transformed her town. But what do I mean by embracing your mess? So I don't mean embrace it as your identity and keep it close, and I'm gonna stay this forever. What I mean is don't shy away from it. Be honest about the mess that it is, rather than identify it as a mess and see it for what it is, be honest about what it is, but realize it is not you. It's not your identity, it's simply a mess, and messes can be cleaned up. Um so why is there power in doing that? I just said it helps us separate our behavior from our identity. We can make a mess without it being a mess. It helps us see the tremendous worst that Jesus placed on us. We can be honest and admit how bad things are, and accept that Jesus loves us just like that. Just that revelation and that accepting of his love in spite of the mess that comes with us. It also helps us see that we're not alone. Other people have similar experiences, similar feelings. And um, so we can realize that we're not alone. And then when we have been healed, it very often becomes part of our message that we can encourage and comfort others who are some suffering in the same way that we suffered in the past, and so we can our healing brings more healing when we're willing to share. Um so it separates us from our identity or separates our identity from our behavior. In the past, I would lose my temper to the point of rage at my kids. Um, I have thrown them, I have hit them way too hard, I've yelled far, far louder and longer than any

A Hard Parenting Confession

SPEAKER_00 3:17

parent ever should. But those are behaviors, not easy, behaviors that are easy to admit by any means, but they're just behaviors. And saying them still brings up shame and some fear. I'm like, you know, what are you gonna think of me now that you know this about me? How will it change your relationship? But I am not my behaviors. I've asked for forgiveness for my kids, I've forgiven myself, I've received God's forgiveness, and so I can share that mess to let other moms know that they're not alone and there's hope. Um, it helps us to see the tremendous worth that Jesus placed on us. He knew the awful things that I would do to my kids, and he still trusted me with them. He died for every sin I will ever commit and have ever committed. And that's so hard for me to understand. And I think that's part of why this woman's story was so hard for me. The gratitude overwhelms me, but somehow I still feel disconnected and utterly inadequate to express it. She knew her mess, the life she had lived. And she was able to receive Christ's forgiveness. And like was totally compelled to express her gratitude. Um, and it helps us to see that we're not alone. When we hear stories of other moms that you would never guess had an anchor issue, it helped me know that I wasn't alone. I needed better tools, but I wasn't alone. And my children weren't ruined, and I didn't belong in jail because I occasionally went too far. Do they need to change? Absolutely. But again, it wasn't my identity. It's not who I was. It was not an abusive parent. I occasionally did abusive things, but was not my identity that I was an abusive parent. When we're healed, it often becomes our message that we can share to encourage and bring hope and healing to others. That's the power of the testimony to say God did it for me, he'll do it for you. The Revelation 19,

Testimony That Brings Hope

SPEAKER_00 5:44

10 says, for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. So the testimony that Jesus did this for me is the prophecy that he will do this for you. So there's power in embracing our mess and testifying to how Jesus brought us out of it. Not embracing our mess, like I said, as this is who I am, and let's have a pity party, but this is what Jesus has done for me, which is you know what we're seeing the women in mess to majesty. We're seeing them bring that gratitude and bring that testimony of this is what Jesus has done for me. See you next week.