It's Not You. It's Your Experience. - Ep 135

Have you ever felt God's face shining on you?

Do you experience His pleasure in spending time with you?

You can. This podcast is a bit of a ramble, but I felt I needed to put it out anyway.

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When Head Knowledge Isn’t Enough

Speaker 0:16

When you know that God's love is for you no matter what. When you can easily encourage others with how much God loves them and is not frustrated or disappointed yet you can't say that for yourself, it's because you need a new experience. You're not lacking faith you're not too broken or too far gone. You need a new experience. If you're new here, I'm Mukkove, and I have a passion for sharing with women the things that the Lord has taught me on my journey to learn to be loved as His daughter the way that He says He loves me. And I do that through coaching and writing and obviously this podcast We need a different experience instead of trying harder to convince ourself somehow trying to shame or pressure or work or even meditate our way into believing that what God says is true is true for us as well as is for everybody else. Psalm 17:8 Keep me as the apple of your eye. Hide me in the shadow of your wings. So keep me as the apple of your eye. What does that mean? What does that look like?

The Meaning Of “Apple Of His Eye”

Speaker 1:54

That phrase, "the apple of your eye," comes from the idea of when you are looking someone in the eye, if you are close enough to them, in the pupil, in the dark spot, that's the apple of the eye. In that spot, you will see your own reflection if you are close enough looking someone in the eye. And that Go- concept of God looking at you and seeing you as the apple of His eye as a place of delight, like gazing into one another's eyes. It's not a stern glare or it's looking at you with love and delight. And the verses where it talks about God's face shining on you is that same idea. It's shining with delight and joy. It's glad to see you. It's glad to be looking at you, like your friend's face lights up when they see you or how your face lights up when you see your child and you're able to delight in them, not in those moments where you're irritated But the idea of when it talks about the joy of the Lord being our strength It's that joy that you see when you're looking him in the eye and you're close enough to see that he's looking at you 'cause you can see yourself in the apple of his eye And you can see the joy on his face. He's happy that you're there. He's happy that you are looking at him as he's looking at you Having a new ex- like actually experiencing that. And you might not see, like you might not be able to like fully visualize that and see the father's face clearly and see yourself in his eye But sit with that in whatever way you can to actually have an experience of the Father delighting in you and shining his face on you rather than experiences you've had from your past where Maybe your parents or other people that you looked up to didn't have their face shining on you And maybe it was a consistent thing where they just didn't have that light inside to shine on you. Or maybe there was a few key situations where bad things happened and that light was dimmed and the enemy was able to plant those lies of you being unworthy, you being too far gone disqualified in whatever way he tried to tell you that you were disqualified from having the father's face shine on you. Because like if these people that you live with or around, if they can't shine their face on you, Why would the perfect God of the universe be able to look at you with delight if your parents or teachers or grandparents, other important people in your life couldn't look at you that way? Because the enemy will tell you that it's your problem Not that it was because the people were lacking the light themselves or because there was misunderstanding

How Old Wounds Shape God-Views

Speaker 5:46

or whatever might have been going on. The enemy wants to convince you that it's your problem, and when you're a child, that's easy to do because children are egocentric. The world revolves around them, their survival, their needs, their wants. And part of that is the way God designed it, and that's why the Apostle Paul says, as we grow in love, we put childish ways behind us. We mature and realize that the world isn't centered around us. But as children, that's how God designed it, is for us to be egocentric, and the enemy takes advantage of that to not only make it so that we are making sure that our needs are met so we survive, but we're taking on responsibility for other people's behaviors, for circumstances beyond our control Because he's working with that design. He knows that's how we're made, and he takes advantage of that And ideally we have people in our lives who also understand that, that can do those check-ins with us and say, you know, what are you hearing? What are you What are you allowing this, what are you making this mean about you? What are you letting it say about you Seeing a Story of someone's child who was trying to put something away that wasn't working right. They didn't see how it could fit, and they didn't put in very much effort before. It was just like, "I just can't do it, and I don't under- I just mess up everything." And that was, you know, the enemy being right there to be like, "You mess up everything. You

A Child’s Mistake And The Inner Voice

Speaker 7:40

shouldn't try to do anything new." And fortunately, the mother had the wisdom to say like, "Well, what are you hearing here? What are you allowing this to say about you?" Because it does have something to say, but are you listening to what the enemy has to say about it or what God has to say about it? Because the enemy was saying, "You shouldn't ever try anything new. You just mess everything up. Like, look at how pathetic you are Instead of being able to hear what the father is saying of like, "You do need to learn to try harder. You can do hard things. You can't expect to do something you've never done before perfectly. Things take practice, trial and error." And even more so, like the Father is never tying your behavior or the outcome of that behavior to your identity or your worth. The enemy does that. You couldn't do this thing, so you're a failure rather than you couldn't do this thing, so you need more information, you need more practice so I feel like this is a bit of a ramble and has kind of gone off from where I thought I was going. But I think I'm gonna leave it and share it because it just gives you a glimpse of kind of the rabbit trails I go on or whatever. Um But I just to come back to the idea that I started with is if you have those experiences like this child where something goes wrong and the thoughts are attacking and they're accusing and they're tying your behavior to your identity That's the enemy talking to you, and he really doesn't have a right to do that. He pretends he has a right to do that based on agreements and things that you've maybe made in the past. And then you also just have to remember he's a criminal, so he doesn't care what he's allowed to do. He's just gonna do whatever he thinks he can get away with So being able to take those places where you're hearing those things and feeling accused and feeling defeated and feeling like your identity is tied to your failures and your mistakes, to take those before the Father and see that His face is shining on you because He already knew all that was gonna happen, and He already took care of it in Christ, and He sees you in Christ. So none of these things are a big deal. None of these things disqualify you from His love and His grace. And again, if you know that in your head, but there's a part of you that

Bringing Accusation Into God’s Delight

Speaker 10:50

just can't receive it, that part needs a new experience. It needs to experience the Father's face shining on him, and that's why David could say, like, "In your presence is fullness of joy." And because there's strength that comes from seeing He's not disappointed, that He's not frustrated, that He's not sitting there waiting for you to figure it out He's able to hold both being able to understand why you do what you do because he knows your whole story. Like for generations, he knows the whole story. He knows why you do what you do and he can see you in Christ and see exactly what he made you for and what he's calling you to. Whether that's a business or a ministry or just healthier communication in your family, He sees and He knows and He can handle both of He's not frustrated and disappointed because He understands why you do what you do, and He has provided the grace and the mercy and the forgiveness and the love and the joy for you to be who He's called you to be in Christ, to build what He's called you to build as a business, a ministry, a family It can be very helpful to have someone else lead you in a new experience. Because if you don't understand how to have an experience with God where you can experience His face shining on you then that doesn't feel at all helpful to be told that that's what you need to do.

A Simple Daily “What If” Practice

Speaker 12:57

Um Rather than trying to explain that here, I'm just going to suggest Taking a minute a day, or as often as you think of it To say, "Well, what if I believed What if it was really true? that God loves me as much as he loves Jesus What if it's really true that I'm the apple of His eye, that He delights to look at me and have me look at Him? What if that's really true? And pay attention to how different it feels or the thoughts that come up with that And just doing that a little bit at a time helps you get to a place where you can receive more Where it becomes more possible that that is really what God is saying and really how he sees you, and not just, well, I know it in my head because it's in the Bible. But I actually have experienced that he loves me in spite of myself Jesus is praying in John 17, and He's praying for believers. So He was praying for

Loved As Much As Jesus

Speaker 14:31

His disciples then. He was praying for you now. And He said, "I in them and you in Me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent Me and have loved them even as you have loved Me." So Jesus said, "God loves you as much as he loves Jesus." What shifts when you just open to the possibility of living that you're as loved as Jesus is? What objections come up? What places are like, "Oh, what a, what a relief. How wonderful. This is amazing." And what places are like, "Oh, that can't be true. Like, what about this thing that you did? What about that thing that you did?" What about feeling like a failure and a fraud? And just notice for now. And if you're at a place where you're like, "Okay, I've noticed enough. I know the Lord is saying it's time to deal with these things and process these things," you can reach out for a free one-on-one session to see if working with me is what God is saying is your answer to

Invitation To Coaching And Workshop

Speaker 16:05

prayer right now. And if you're listening to this in real time, I'm doing a workshop July 16th, where you can come and get an experience of me walking through a bit of the process that I use with my clients, and be able to ask questions and things like that. So thank you for being here for my kind of ramble today, and we'll see you next week