What If You're Not Back Where You Started? - Ep138

Have you felt like you have dealt with your fear of what people think about how you build your business, only to find yourself stuck worrying again? 

Then the critical inner voice starts saying, "I thought I dealt with this already and what's going on?  I was doing so good. I didn't care what anybody thought, and now here I am worrying about it again." 

 As a business owner for 10 years, I've been through that so many times. In this week's podcast, I talk about three different points about having already dealt with this. 

One is the idea of the spiral staircase.   
Two is that the enemy wants to steal.
Three is that we need community for support.  

I'd love to connect with you!

• Find community in Healing Generations
•  Learn how God communicates with you in Transformational Quiet Times

Transcript

When Old Fears Come Back

0:15

Have you had the experience of feeling like you have dealt with your fear of what people think about how you are running your business only to then get blindsided and find yourself spinning out and stuck in worrying about it again because you saw a new post or a video or something from your competitor and then The self-accusation starts going and the doubt increases of, "I thought I dealt with this already and what's going on? And I was doing so good. I didn't care what anybody thought, and now here I am worrying about it again." As a business owner for 10 years, I've been through that so many times. And on this podcast, I want to talk about three different points on, like, I've already dealt with this. One is the idea of the spiral staircase. Two is that the enemy wants to steal, and three is that we need community for support. So if we haven't met yet, I'm Mukkove Johnson. I've been a Christian life coach for women for 10 years. I have this podcast. I've written four books. And I love to

Why People’s Opinions Feel So Loud

1:44

share the things that God has taught me on my journey to confidence and freedom so that you can have those, too. This idea of I've already dealt with it Happens in personal relationships, it happens in business. I'm gonna focus on that example today of when we worry about what people think about our business. And for me, that's been a whole different range of people over 10 years. Like, sometimes it's a business coach, sometimes it's family members that I'm concerned about, sometimes it's clients that I'm concerned about. And while obviously there's a degree where what people think of your business matters, there's also a very large portion where it doesn't. Because we need to do what God is calling us to do in the way that He is calling us to do it, whether that makes sense to anyone else or not. So the first thing is that when you're thinking like, "I've dealt with this already 'cause I was doing so good," the answer is probably yes, you have. You have dealt with it. And when it comes back around,

The Spiral Staircase Of Growth

3:03

it's not that you're in exactly the same place again, which is what the enemy will try to tell you and your emotions might try to tell you is that you're just back in the exact same place like you've gone around a track. But the thing is, you're on a staircase, not a track. So you come back to a point where things look very similar. You have the same view that you had when you were at this point in the spiral staircase before, but now you're a floor higher. And having that height, you've gained tools, you've gained perspective, you have gained strength. So yes, you did deal with it before, but now there's more. There's another layer. There's more maturity. There's more growth to happen. And so it's being revealed again that the lies haven't been completely uprooted or the lack of trust or the doubt. You've reduced them, you've dealt with it, and you've moved on because you made it around the staircase. And there's more. So the spiral staircase is that idea, and I know kind of like for the peeling the onion too, like you've dealt with one layer, now there's another layer. You have been here before in a sense where when you look out the certain direction, that's what you see. As you go around, you'll get back to a point where you have that same view, but you are not the same. You have dealt with it, and there's more Which leads us to the second point of the enemy wants to steal that. You have indeed gone another round, but he wants to convince you that you haven't or that you've even gone backwards because he doesn't want you walking in victory and confidence in the Lord.

When The Enemy Tries To Steal

5:09

He doesn't want you moving forward with your business, having a larger impact, making more money to have more of a kingdom impact, serving more clients so that you're having that larger impact with your business and people getting to interact with you and see Jesus shine through you. He doesn't want that to happen. So he is trying to convince you to quit and that nothing's working and it hasn't changed and that people are gonna think whatever it is you're afraid of. You're afraid that people are gonna think you're greedy or that you're not representing God well or who knows all the things that we can be afraid of that I'm, you know, somebody's gonna think I'm doing it wrong where they're probably like, there are things that are wrong. But if you're seeking to honor the Lord in your business, you're not doing things that are wrong. It might just be things that someone else would do different, which is fine. That's why they're them and you're you. But the enemy wants to say, no, you're feeling the same. You're thinking the same. This is the same thing again. You haven't grown. You haven't done anything. So know when you are pursuing the Lord in anything, in particular in your business that's having a kingdom impact, when you feel like you've had a victory, the enemy isn't content to leave you with that. He wants to steal that from you. And being aware of that is helpful, but I often think it's not enough on its own, which is why point three, that we need community. Because sometimes when we're in the middle of it, particularly if it's something that's familiar that we've struggled with for a long time, we need an outside perspective to remind us and point out, "Hey, this is what's going on.

Why You Need Supportive Community

7:12

This is just an attack. Look at everywhere you've grown. Look at all that you've already done and already accomplished. Don't listen to the enemy tell you that you're just going around the track again and you've gotten nowhere." And that community can look like an accountability partner, it could look like a networking group, it could look like your family And sometimes when the attack comes and the enemy has been especially effective in convincing us that we've gone nowhere and we need to quit, sometimes you need one-on-one help to really get to the root of that because maybe you've been pushing through and you've been moving forward in your business on just sheer willpower and self-control with the Holy Spirit to say like, "Okay, I'm afraid. I'm worried about this, but I'm gonna move forward with God anyway." And you have made progress. You're still in business. You're still going, but it's exhausting and you keep thinking like, "I'm gonna get through this at some point." But when you're approaching it that way, you're not dealing with why the fear is there, so it gets to stay. And then you just are setting yourself up to continue that battle of, "I'm afraid of what people think. I'm afraid I'm doing my business wrong. I'm afraid I'm letting God down by not making progress faster," or whatever it is. Instead of being able to stay in the peace, and the freedom, and confidence, and the joy that comes from knowing you are walking in step with the Lord, whether it makes sense to anyone else or not. That you just know that He's gifted me this way. He's given me these ideas to put things together in this particular way to serve this particular person. And I know it doesn't make sense to other people because He's not calling them to do it this way. This is just what God is calling me to, and being able to enjoy that and be at peace with that So how do you get the fears out instead of just shoving them aside and moving past them? Because When you're shoving it aside, you're just shutting yourself down in a way because there is a part of you that for a legitimate reason

Stop Shoving Fear And White Knuckling

10:13

is afraid So if you're, say you're afraid that people are gonna think you're greedy if you pursue the business that God's calling you to at the price point He's calling you to So you're afraid to put it out there because you're afraid people are gonna think you're greedy, and that's gonna make God look bad. But when you talk to Him about it, you have peace, and He's showing you, like, "This is why it's worth what you're charging. This is why I'm saying to do this for you." that fear of being thought greedy and making God look bad probably goes back to something that happened in your childhood of maybe you just, your family didn't have a lot of extra resources, and being greedy was very shameful, and your family talked about people that had more than your family had as, you know, being greedy or with jealousy and In that environment, the enemy was able to plant those lies and you were unknowingly probably came into agreement with that of like, right, it's not good to have too much. You just need what you need. You don't need to have excess. You don't need to be like those people And just dealing with that on a mental level of if the Lord shows you that you mentally agreed to not be like those people, it's good to mentally break that agreement. That needs to be done to repent of thinking wrongly and seeing what the Lord is saying instead, that He does desire for you to prosper as your soul prospers. He does-- did design

Pricing Fear And Childhood Money Shame

12:22

you to be able to create wealth. He did come that you could have an abundant life and use that abundance to expand the kingdom But when that lie was planted, there was an emotional state in you that allowed that to be planted So without the emotional needs, without the emotions being heard so that the needs can be met the lie still has a place to root, and the truth can't take root in that place that still feels the shame or the doubt or the distrust or whatever it is. So being able to identify those emotions and feel them and see what needs they're revealing allows for you to kind of re-parent yourself with Jesus, like to bring His truth to that situation and see, be able to meet yourself in that place of, "I understand why you felt that way. I understand why you thought that way, why the enemy's lies seem to make sense. And now that I know Jesus, and we're letting Jesus be in charge, here's what we're gonna do." And there's so much power in just validating that I see how you feel, and it makes sense that you feel that way. I'm still gonna make this choice to follow the Spirit and do what God is saying, but understand why you think and feel the way you do. And just a super simple example, like with a toddler that keeps getting hurt and then just cry and cry inconsolably, and you're like, "I don't understand, you know, what's going on. Like you're sad. You got hurt. I'm comforting you, and you just keep getting louder." And it's because they're mad. But acknowledging, "Oh, you're angry, you're frustrated," then it just dissipates. Like, "Okay, somebody saw me. Somebody validated what I was experiencing, and now I'm good." But they kept getting louder because the need wasn't being met, and that's what our emotion... Like, emotions bring messages from God about what we need. We need to be heard. We need to be comforted. We need to be appreciated.

Emotions Reveal Needs And Bring Freedom

15:07

We need to be valued. Our emotions help us identify when those needs are not being met. If they continue to not be met, the emotions get louder. And if you have learned to stuff them, they don't go away. They just figure out how to run things behind the scene. So they're more in charge than you think they are if you've been stuffing them and not acknowledging what they need So if you are in a place where you're like, "I've already dealt with this crazy fear I have of what people think of me," or whatever else there might be Yes, you have already dealt with it, and there's more. You have an enemy that is trying to stop you and keep you stuck. And if you don't have a life-giving community that knows how to make space for the emotions and get the lies out at the emotional level where they started, then you might wanna reach out and find out what it would look like to work with me one-on-one. I do a six-month container because it builds in this principle that, yes, you're gonna gain ground, and you're gonna learn tools, and you're gonna feel like, "I've got it this time. I've, I've really got it. I've conquered it. I'm moving on. I see it. I'm not gonna struggle with this." And then the enemy is going to come and pull the rug out from under you or throw you into another storm where you feel like you're drowning, and then we're back at where this podcast started. So I do a six-month program so I can walk you through those seasons at least once, maybe more Because that's part of what community is for, and that's when the things that you've learned and the healing that you've received really gets

One On One Help And Closing

17:19

tested when you have to walk it out in the storm. And walking it out in the storm is a lot easier with someone who's not in your storm to give you God's perspective and, you know, remind you of where you've come from and all of that. So there's a link where you can schedule a call to talk to me about working together, and just want you to know I'm proud of you for all the things that you have already dealt with. It matters. And we'll see you in the next episode.