A Slice of Bread and Butter
The voice of The Bread and Butter Thing - with stories from the frontline of the cost of living crisis from one of the UK's leading food charities.
A Slice of Bread and Butter
The Day We Lost Everything: Rebuilding Through Community
What happens when your life savings vanish overnight? For Karen, this devastating reality struck when a £150,000 investment in her daughter's business venture collapsed due to contractual issues with their building. This financial catastrophe arrived alongside serious health challenges after Karen developed long COVID, forcing her to leave her job as an exams officer when breathing difficulties made her work impossible.
Karen's story reveals the cascading nature of hardship. While processing the financial blow, she and her husband also took on caring for their neurodiverse 17-year-old grandson who needs significant support and faces open heart surgery. Add to this the pain of losing both her mother and grandmother within days of each other in March 2020, and you begin to understand the extraordinary resilience required to navigate such turbulent waters.
Yet within this narrative of loss emerges a powerful story of adaptation and community connection. Through her daughter, Karen discovered The Bread and Butter Thing, first as a member benefiting from affordable food, then as a dedicated volunteer. "It gives me a purpose. It gives me a reason to get up," she explains, highlighting how volunteering provides more than just activity—it offers meaning during life's most challenging chapters. Karen's family demonstrates remarkable resourcefulness too, coordinating their shopping to maximize variety and swapping items between households. Despite everything, she maintains perspective: "We're not really, really poor. We have enough food to feed us. We can pay the bills."
Karen's journey reminds us how quickly financial security can disappear and how vital community support becomes in those moments. Her story showcases the transformative power of belonging and purpose when rebuilding a life shattered by circumstances beyond control. Want to hear more stories of resilience or learn how you might support or benefit from community initiatives like ours? Subscribe to our podcast and visit thebreandbutterthing.org to find your nearest hub.
Welcome back to A Slice of Bread and Butter with Vicar Mark from the Bread and Butter Thing. We're a charity that delivers affordable food to the heart of struggling neighbourhoods to help nourish communities and act as a catalyst for change.
Speaker 2:We provide access to a nutritious, affordable range of food, which means that our members can save money on their shopping, feed their families healthily, as well as access other support to right in the heart of their communities yep, and this is where we share a slice of life of somebody involved in bread and butter and hear about how they connect with us and this week it's karen okie, semi-retired, not old enough to retire, but I became quite ill and I had to leave my job because I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 3:They did make changes for me, but I didn't feel I was doing my job, as I should have been doing my job, so I left.
Speaker 1:What was your job, Karen?
Speaker 3:I was an exams officer but I've been quite ill In 21,. I got COVID and then I got long COVID. I spent three months in my bedroom, not leaving my bedroom. I suffered with a lot of respiratory problems and when I went back to work after four months I just couldn't keep up with it. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do the necessary running around that an examiner's officer needs to do.
Speaker 1:What's the running around all about? Tell us what an examiner's officer does.
Speaker 3:During the exam. If you imagine that there's four or five different papers going on at the same time and one of them finished in two hours, one finished in an hour and a half, one finished in an hour 15 minutes, I would have to be there at the start of every exam and the end of every exam. And then you have people with extra time. So I have to keep track of all that. Who's where, who's doing what. So I was constantly on the go all during the exam season and I just couldn't do it anymore, so I left. I went to work part-time for my daughter she was an electrician and she came up this fantastic idea. But we had problems. A bank agreed to give us the loan. My husband and I put all of our money into it, we put all of our savings into it and, in total, it was 150,000.
Speaker 3:And then we found out there was a problem with the contract of the building and all of our money is now gone. Wow, the oldest daughter is absolutely devastated, but it's not her fault. I worked with her at that time. I know exactly what she did, what she was trying to do. We did everything we could to save that and we couldn't.
Speaker 1:So we've lost everything all your savings are gone all our savings are gone.
Speaker 3:Plus, we've got two loans and we've got nothing left. Um, don't get me wrong, we are not really, really really poor. Well, you have to be very careful with that money it's a body blow, though, isn't it?
Speaker 3:it? Yeah, it is, and as much as I can't make her feel guilty because I know what she did to try and recoup that, I mean it's our fault for putting so much money in but I wouldn't have said no because I loved the idea she was creating a hub for single business owners, a safe hub where they had workspace if they needed it. We had treatment rooms where they could have counselling, because going in as a single business owner it it's a lot easier. But then they find out actually there's tax, recruitment, advertising, there's everything and they need help.
Speaker 1:Regulations.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this hub was amazing. We'd finally just got it built, We'd started getting people in and then he just gave us our time and we were out. It was just a nightmare, absolute nightmare, particularly for my daughter. She felt she'd let us down, although she hadn't Our other daughter, because she worked there as well. She'd invested money in it. It was actually her who first came across the bread and butter thing.
Speaker 3:So she went to the Deepings Group in South Lincolnshire One day. I went with her. I thought, oh, this is a great idea. And then we looked on the internet and we found there was one in Stanford, where my other daughter lives. I then signed up and I think it was our second, third week. They were asking for volunteers. We both thought we've got nothing to do. We can go and help. And we're still doing it. And that was November. Brilliant, it's a great team. They all help each other. We have a good laugh while we're doing it. It's very varied some of the things you get in your bags, and with my other daughter she gets two bags from deep in. My other daughter gets hers from stanford. She doubles up. She gets about two bags and she gives one back to my other daughter. So they get a real varied mix and they don't get it all in one go.
Speaker 1:That shows initiative, that that's really good yeah.
Speaker 3:And then they just swap it around.
Speaker 1:It's a great idea, love it, yeah. So tell me about you and home life then. So is it just you and hubby at home now?
Speaker 3:No, we have our 17-year year old grandson who lives with us.
Speaker 3:He's neurodiverse, he has a lot of conditions and needs I've got one of those yeah, my oldest daughter and the one who owned the business, that's her son, but she's got two younger children. She was finding it very difficult to look after him and he needed more one-to-one attention. So we decided to take him in and he's been living with us now three years now. It can be quite trying at times, but he's so. He's great. When he's good, he's good, and when he's bad, he's horrid. But yeah, I wouldn't change it. Anita's out of house and home as any 17 year old boy.
Speaker 1:I was going to say is he a neat, Is he in education or is he in work?
Speaker 3:No, he's. He's on trial at the moment and he's due to start an apprenticeship in september. He's actually at the hospital today. He's due to have open heart surgery anytime now he has a mixed aortic heart disease, but he loves coming with us. If he's not working he comes with us to the bread and butter things. He loves it. I bet he does. He helps the customers take their shopping to their cars.
Speaker 1:Is Hubby retired?
Speaker 3:No, he's on the site team of a private school. He's actually a carpenter. That's a good trade. Well, he's not trade, he's self-taught. He started there on the site team but he's just so good with wood and things that he makes. He was in the army. He spent 24 years in the army.
Speaker 1:I'm just thinking about the thing that you said earlier, cara, when you said we're not very, very, very poor, and I'm just trying to work out what that looks like, because actually, with your grandson, with with you, who eats you out of house and home, it's not cheap, is it?
Speaker 3:no, it's not. When I say I'm not really poor, I mean we're not living on our overdraft or credit cards. We don't have much money left at the end of the month, so we don't really have any savings. If something goes wrong, I'm not really sure what we're going to do. However, there's a lot, a lot of people in a lot worse condition than us. We have enough food to feed us. We can pay the bills. That's what I mean when we're not really really poor I tend to ask people then what would you consider?
Speaker 3:nowadays that's a luxury that used to be an everyday thing for you yes, when we used to go shopping, we never used to consider what we put in the trolley. You know, if we wanted it, we put it in the trolley, but now we don't. We go to the shops later on, before the shops close. It's become quite a competition to see who can get the best yellow labels. Um, but yeah, we we think about. Do we really need this?
Speaker 1:you become a really savvy shopper, then yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong there's still a couple of brands I still buy. I can't find a cheaper version that tastes as good as they do such as peas. I like um petit pois and I like the um the branded peas.
Speaker 1:We've tried all the home version ones of them, but they're not as good and are you still going to the same supermarkets or are you traveling a bit further to go to cheaper ones?
Speaker 3:we're careful how we travel because we're used to travel to fill our car up because it was cheaper. But then you actually think, well, how much does it cost us to get there to put in cheaper petrol? We have changed supermarkets and we've definitely changed the way we shop.
Speaker 1:We're just very careful now and how does everybody feel now, karen? Is everybody all right now with what happened?
Speaker 3:um, I suppose they're like me. They're well. They're not like me actually, because they're um. Both of them are in a stage of being made um bankrupt okay because they don't didn't have the savings we had. A house at that point was already paid for. Can I just put you on pause for a minute? Here's my grandson. He's just come back from the hospital.
Speaker 1:That's no problem. Yeah, one of many.
Speaker 3:And it looks like he's just been made redundant as well. Oh, no, oh, and he's just been told his operation is going to be in the next few weeks. Hi, well, fingers crossed so what were we talking about?
Speaker 1:um, yeah, the girls, they're yeah we're talking about how things are for everybody, yeah they've come to terms with it.
Speaker 3:So, uh, yeah, we're together and we see each other a lot. It's nice to have the grandchildren. They all seem to meet at mine. Hello you, oh you got the dogs in now as well yeah, this one will come and sit on my lap, the other one won't. I don't know if you can see this one there, we go there yeah, nice this.
Speaker 3:That one was my mum's dog. She she passed away in March 2020, literally two days before the full lockdown so we actually got to see her on her last day. We promised her we'd take her dog in, so we have another dog. We already had two at the time, but our dog died a week after Lost my dog, lost my mum and then three days later, I lost my nan. That was a pretty traumatic time as well.
Speaker 1:Tell me what the volunteering does for you at Bread and Butter.
Speaker 3:It gives me a purpose. It gives me a reason to get up. It's fun. Yeah, it's Like I say, my grandson loves it as well. He comes with me. We have a laugh. Yep, don't we? So we're getting to know the regulars now. We generally do the produce between us. It's easier to work out. Some of the ambient stuff is pretty difficult to work out just gotta start with.
Speaker 1:What a life I know the number of times we just hear of people's lives just falling apart around them yeah they don't fall more apart than karen's did yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:But then thinking about how much of a family you know, how tight-knit family they are, and to go through all of that as a family is really quite special, isn't it?
Speaker 1:definitely, you know, one of those. If it doesn't kill you, make you stronger. That would definitely pull your family together and it's amazing how they have all pulled together and the emotional roller coaster they must have been on altogether. Yeah, with investing in the business and the business falling over for whatever reason. It's tough. So my dad had two failed businesses, so I know how it feels to be in a small family business. When they fail, it just shockwave throughout the family. Yeah, because everybody becomes uncertain. You know there is no bank of mum and dad, there is no security financially around and you don't know what you're losing. Are you losing houses, all the rest of it? It's hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you could hear that. You could hear that in not just what Karen was saying, but how she was saying it. Losing all your life savings must be really tough. Yeah, and it felt like it was kind of overnight, like you've gone from a place of security to then just the carpet being ripped out from under you and going again, having to learn about the benefit systems?
Speaker 1:where do you go for help and advice and support? Where is it? Yeah no, where is it? Where is it?
Speaker 2:well, who knows? None of our members know they can't find it yeah so also, I think, an element of rurality around there yes might play into kind of making things a bit harder to access too yeah, I can see that actually.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it'd be interesting to see how that pans out with something like devolution yeah, I'm sure it'll still be a postcode. I'm sure it'll still be a postcode lottery mark yeah, it will be, but it's things to consider, right, because the rural community is still a large proportion of it's like 15 of the country, right, so that that is still a lot of people, that is still a lot of households that need support yeah, and market deep in one of the hubs that they access is a tiny little place, so it's.
Speaker 2:I think that's one of the good things about our model, that we can drive our little vans into those rural places and support the pockets of community that need us, and then that's really paid off in karen's situation. And lovely to hear about how all the family access it and how. And the swapping of bags we hear that a bit, but it's every time. It makes you smile, doesn't it? When you think, oh, we just buy bags on different days, get different food, stagger what we've got coming in, do the swapses. Yeah, I think that's quite fun and the other one.
Speaker 1:We hear a lot about our pets. You know I love a dog story yes, so what dog has karen got? I didn't see it so I don't know, but it was one thing's for sure it was smaller than blue that doesn't take much effort but it is something that is overlooked a lot.
Speaker 1:So we've talked a lot about poverty and the different categorizations and all the rest of it. There's a lot of stories around at the moment about people giving up pets because they can't afford them anymore, and that's really tough because they are such an emotional part of the family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure should we talk about volunteering?
Speaker 1:go for it.
Speaker 2:So I think that was quite nice. To go from being really busy and having lots to do and then, oh god, there's nothing. What do I do? What do I do? And then to find something that can help you stretch your budget and you're having a bargain shop, great. But then also to be able to kind of volunteer and be part of the team and be part of the community was um, really nice to hear and really nice to hear that occasionally they'll drag the grandson along and yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to say, after such a traumatic episode in their life as a family, it's nice to pull it all together, isn't it Like that, and find something where this is where community cohesion really, really works right, because it's almost it's not healing, but it's so helpful it can just give you more purpose and what you want to do again.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and when anybody goes to any of our hubs, they will see that that team of volunteers are fierce, they're amazing, and there's a really positive energy, I think, around the teams of volunteers that we've got.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a proper tonic whenever you go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course, so good that they got involved in that and could join and contribute to it. Yeah, one thing that I thought about karen was they've been through a lot as a family and you'd kind of think, oh, that's enough for any one family to deal with, right, you know?
Speaker 2:it is can we, can we give them a break now, please? Yeah, but then they've got like the the prospect of open heart surgery, I know, for the grandson, and all of that coming up and it's like, oh, let them take a breath at some point which he has been through and it has been successful, amazing. So it has gone all right good which is great to know, yeah that's not just uh, any old surgery though, is it? It's not.
Speaker 1:It's not anything like that is traumatic. And like you say, if your grandson to have to go, is it, it's not. It's not anything like that is traumatic. And like you say, if your grandson to have to go through it, it's just like. Can we please stop kicking this family now?
Speaker 2:yeah, I'm glad it works out. That's brill. So if you'd like to know more about the bread and butter thing and what we get up to, you can find us at team tbbt, on instagram and twitter, on linkedin on tiktok or online at the bread and butter thingorg you nearly forgot tiktok.
Speaker 1:I did. I know sorry about that. Nina would not be pleased I know and if you have any feedback or thoughts on the podcast or you'd like to come on and just have an atta with us, drop us an email at podcastbrennambottathingorg.
Speaker 2:Lastly, we're always open to new members at all of our hubs. If you or someone you know would benefit from our affordable food club, you can find your nearest club on the member section of our website.
Speaker 1:And please do all those things that podcast asks you to do Like us, subscribe, leave us a review and share it with your friends and chat about us on social. See you next time. See you.
