More than just mindfulness

Happiness

December 02, 2018 Season 1 Episode 15
More than just mindfulness
Happiness
Chapters
More than just mindfulness
Happiness
Dec 02, 2018 Season 1 Episode 15
Robert Mitchell
How we can find happiness through mindfulness and gratitude meditation.
Show Notes Transcript

What is Happiness? Ask a thousand people and you'll get a thousand answers.
In this episode, recorded at the mansion on Saturday 1 December, Robert explains a scientific and spiritual perspective on Happiness and how we can experience it in a practical way through mindfulness and gratitude practices.
Robert explains how these work together to enable us to experience happiness.
Meditations: the meditation of no meditation for sound and the breath and a simple mantra for following the breath, following the breath and a gratitude meditation.

Speaker 1:
0:00
So today you the topics happiness. So I've got a question for you, which is hands up. Anybody who doesn't want to be happy. Okay, I have to ask it that way round. If you ask people to put their hands up and say hands up if you want to be happy. Not everybody puts their hands up and the reason for that is because they don't know what happiness is. That's the first thing. Okay, there's a universal happiness and it's a happiness we can measure. I'll come to that later. But what actually gets in the way of people putting their hands up to say yes, I want to be happy is the, they have focused on life goals of some sort or another. And happiness isn't in there. Some fortunately because of the way our culture operates, it takes things like happiness and it relegates them to the world of hippy dippy and along with meditation and inner peace.:
Speaker 1:
1:14
And because you can provide clear, tangible benefits on the one hand and in the inner experience, nothing's tangible and everything's complex and you don't necessarily get what you want. And the more you try, the less you get it. And if you don't believe me, think about trying to get to sleep. If you can't get to sleep, trying harder is not a solution because of this intangibility when we moved away from religious dogma, because we're largely, we're a secular society now, even if, if you're a religious person, I find a lot of religious people not viewing the world in line with their religion, but actually viewing it as a secular world where religion's only a bolt on. Although it doesn't mean they don't have faith. What it means is they don't see the world through the, the old eyes of, of the wisdom traditions. And I only mentioned that I'm not religious, I'm agnostic.:
Speaker 1:
2:17
I don't know. I'm comfortable not knowing, but it provides a perspective of your inner experience. So for example, you know, I'm sure it's not the case now, but back in the day, Catholicism would view a lot of thoughts as sin. I mean, maybe it still does, don't know, but whether you like that or not, but at the end of the day, it's a way of understanding your inner inner experience. And so when the the, as society became secular, tragically we threw out the baby with the bath water with a lot of religious concepts, things like forgiveness or totally misunderstood. Forgiveness is probably one of the most powerful things in the world. If you know how it use it, I'll do it. I'll do a session on forgiveness one day. But today's happiness, so there you go. So there's another thing that's been that happiness and instead let's replace it with things that we can actually see.:
Speaker 1:
3:14
And then there's our security. There's the security of our relationships. There's our physical wellbeing as our financial security. There's our wealth, there's our relative status, there's how we, how we perceived, because we all perceive each other in line with the values of the secular world. Subsequently, we try it or align with those values and gain status in the eyes of other people so that we don't feel like were rejected. Because we're social animals and we don't want to be separate and so that it takes over. And so that's why when you asked for a show of hands, hands up who wants to be happy? Not everybody puts their hand up. They are quite happy to relegate happiness. What is happiness? There's two concepts that we can rely on. Christianity isn't huge on happiness as far as I can see. I mean, clearly it's in their Buddhism, it's very sinful and that, so that's kind of wisdom, tradition, perception of happiness.:
Speaker 1:
4:16
No doubt. Some Christians will put me right later, uh, and I'll, I'll, she'll review the scripture on apologize. Um, but the, uh, the, the secular perspective of happiness, this is managed by a branch of psychology known as positive psychology. So a handful of psychologists in one of the unhappiest places in the world. One of the unhappiest places in the world is Harvard. Yeah. The pinnacle of modern education. Yeah. Whenever the, whenever I do studies there into people's wellbeing, psychological wellbeing, it's a, Harvard is a, an ivy league university in the United States. They are shocked to discover that there's a guy called Shawn Accor does a talk on Ted, just to give you an idea, 25% of just, this is wacky, wacky, wacky results from any study, but there you go. 25% of students in Harvard University don't know if they're in a relationship with someone and the number that are is, is tragically low.:
Speaker 1:
5:32
Yeah, so this is Ted talk by Sean Apple, who's who is actually a Harvard psychologist. So these Harvard psychologist, Martin Seligman and Dan Guild at sat around one day probably burning the midnight psychologist oil and they said that themselves, look, we're constantly dealing with human misery, but we all know that there's this small group of people who are outliers who don't get upset along with everybody else. They know they're never miserable. What's going on with them? Why don't we study them? And so positive psychology was born and it kind of founded around a, a question that gets asked, which is overall, are you satisfied with your life? What that is? That's a a question about life satisfaction. And that's what positive psychology quite correctly as plumped on as the focus for understanding happiness. And so everybody knows whether you believe in happiness, is it hippy dippy? You don't care about all this stuff in, I'm not interested.:
Speaker 1:
6:42
If you are asked overall I am satisfied with my life on a scale of one to 10 you'll be able to come back with a number. And interestingly that numbers correlates with a lot of things. So you know, if somebody's life satisfaction is higher then there are physiological and psychological health benefits aligned with it. So the, the Buddhist concept of happiness, they go a little bit better than to just ask a question and then various other questions and do studies and form correlations between things like loneliness and happiness and income distribution and all this kind of stuff. The Buddhists actually define it, or the Dalai Lama who's a global figure travels around often promoting happiness. And, and this is a couple of quotes of his one where he says that what happiness is, is gaining fulfillment from neutral experiences. That's actually an act of genius.:
Speaker 1:
7:55
Although we don't, it doesn't get spoken about March and we might struggle to define it and so on. We all know that happiness is is within us. So some people are just happy and other people aren't just unhappy. And positive psychology is identified this as the 50% of happiness or life satisfaction, which they call heritable. You're kind of stuck with this. It's a, it's a thing called a happiness set point. People have life experiences that they, there's all sorts of adversities and then they bounce back afterwards or the or they'll have some wonderful luck and then they'll bounce back down. So people tend to go back to this happiness set point. So we, from all of that, we can tell and we know in ourselves anyway that happiness lies within. It's part of us. And so by saying the happiness is fulfillment from a experience, actually what you're saying is this, think about what a neutral experiences.:
Speaker 1:
9:02
Well, here's one. Okay. It's neither terrible nor wonderful. It's kind of average. He kind of experience. So here you are. You know, you've come out on this soggy morning, battled your way through the traffic and the Ryan. Andrea got hair and it's not too cold, not too warm altogether. It's quite neutral. And what fulfillment is, is that you don't need anything else. So you're not looking for something to improve that present moment. It's okay like it is. And I can see where happiness comes from because actually life is a collection of present moment. Lots and lots of, lots of them. And 99.9% of them are neutral, neutral, present moments. Okay? And as society has got nothing to say about that and our lives, our minds, the modern mind responds to those neutral, present moments in an interesting way. And one of the things that it does is it constructs a thing called boredom.:
Speaker 1:
10:14
Boredom is when you've got nothing to do. Yeah. So you're just sitting in a room with no windows, nothing to do. Most people wouldn't enjoy that with. There's studies that do this. They put people in a room on their own with nothing to do, and then ask them how they feel about it and they're not happy, they don't enjoy it. So what we actually want to be able to do is to discover what those things are that stop us from being fulfilled in a neutral, present moment. And right at the top of the list is the mind. Because when you are alone in a room with nothing to do, you aren't alone. You're alone with your mind. And the mind is, is spontaneous. What's the next thing you're going to think? What's the next thing you're going to think? Nobody knows. 8 billion of us. Nobody knows.:
Speaker 1:
11:12
So the mind is spontaneous and it's compulsive. So most of us can't say, okay, I don't want to think. And even if you can, that lonely happened for a while, and then the thoughts going to arise and you don't get to choose what four is just like sitting in this room. If you, when we finished the session, because this is a public place. If you just open the door and sat here, you wouldn't know who's going to come in. You don't know if they're going to be friendly, whether they're going to be obnoxious, how long they're going to be here for, whether it's going to be one of them or whether it's room's going to be crowded. And that's the mind. Okay? So now if the mind is the, the sauce of what intervenes in our neutral present moment, it would benefit us to do something about it. Okay? So first of all, we need to have a look at the present moment and then we only need to figure out how we relates to happiness. So here's the present moment, okay? Listen to the bell and you'll encounter the present moment. That's the sound of the present moment. Moving through time or time moving through the present moment or sound moving through time or something like that. We don't know what time is, by the way, what we can measure it, but we don't know what it is. A bit like happiness. Okay? So I have another listen. So the present moment.:
Speaker 1:
13:09
Okay. So if you've got life goals and you'll find focused on your life goals, you don't have time to be happy, do you quite apart from anything too much to do. If I want to achieve this, I can't waste my time. So here's a place to find it. Just for a minute, just for a second, just for a present moment. Give yourself permission to be happy in this present moment. Just listen to the sound and what that is is that's you giving yourself permission. Just this once in your entire life to experience the present moment as it is. Hey, go happiness. There's nothing else there. There's just the present moment and notice how when you're in there and the mind isn't going 10 to the dozen, then actually it's fulfilling. You don't need it just for that moment. You don't need anything else. Yeah, there's all the cares of the world and is a slight staff. There's money, there's people, those jobs, those careers, there's difficult people. There is the future. There's all of this kind of stuff, but it isn't here in this present moment in that his happiness. So all you need is bowels like these. And then what you do, you should go around:
Speaker 1:
14:51
sounding the bowels. Amen. What do you become? You're a Harry Krishna Guy, right? So if you've ever wondered what they're doing and why they're doing it, actually, really now you get it. Okay. So I was in, um, called, uh, Carnaby straight one day and the Harry Krishna guys are going down Carnaby straight and there's these school kids and the school kids are like, look at them. Let's copy them and, and mimic them. Merry Christmas. Guys are waving their arms and Bang tambourines and you've got all of these kids with their mobile phones and now they're waving their hands and they're following the Harry Krishna guys. And then what happened is the Harry Krishna guys went round in a big circle and joined the back of the kids. And then there was, and then the passers by. Either stopped or joined in. That's the present moment, right? It's got in it everything you could ever possibly need.:
Speaker 1:
15:57
And the problem is we don't let her in. We don't let the present moment in because we've got too much to do. Important stuff. We got to do the important stuff and we miss out on happiness. Now the thing is, is this, you only need one sip to know the ocean salty, right? And you've done it. This is it. You've discovered what the present moment consists of that it's fulfilling and it doesn't matter too if you live to be a thousand years, if you spend the rest of your life focused on achieving material goals, you'll never forget that actually the present moments got everything in it you could possibly need and you don't need anything else. And the fulfillments there and the only thing that gets in the way as the mind. But then of course now that Robert stopped ringing the bell, we're back in the mines back.:
Speaker 1:
17:07
So what do we do? Well, what we do is we meditate. And what that does is that helps us to become familiar with the mind. When you get familiar with the mind, you can become comfortable with the mind. When you're comfortable with the mind, the intensity and duration of the thoughts diminishes and the opportunity to find a fulfilling present moment grows. And when that happens, at some point it becomes like a Kevlar vest because then you get it. You recognize what life is actually all about, the succession of neutral experiences, and this isn't opting, this is the opposite. This is in dealing with what all of those things get uncomfortable familiar with. All of those things that get in the way of of your happiness, which is actually all the difficult stuff. So it's the opposite of sticking your head in the sand and avoiding anything is actually exposure therapy bit by bit, getting familiar and comfortable with the mind. But what we'll do is we'll start off with the friction less practice. The enables us to experience the present moment. And that isn't a meditation. What that is is what I call the meditation of no meditation. Yeah, so probably best to close your eyes. You don't have to. If you do keep your eyes open, it's probably best to look down so you don't get distracted by anything that's going on around you. And that's only because what we're going to do is focus on sound:
Speaker 1:
18:54
instead of noticing individual sounds, the modern mind tends to be drawn to individual sounds. You have both a human mind, a primal human mind, and uh, a modern mind operate in at the same time, if you're in nature, in the dark, on your own, the modern mind shuts up.:
Speaker 2:
19:21
Okay.:
Speaker 1:
19:21
And you become like a big microphone.:
Speaker 2:
19:24
Yeah.:
Speaker 1:
19:25
And you're able to notice every sound, every broken twig, every scurrying creature in the undergrowth.:
Speaker 2:
19:33
Yeah.:
Speaker 1:
19:34
Every leaf falling out the canopy, every breath of wind. You ever hear it all and all the 360 degrees around you. And that's what this practice is not a meditation is loving what it is. A meditation isn't meditation at the same time, which is why I call it the meditation of no meditation. And what you're doing is allowing yourself to become aware of all sound. So from in here, you'll hear everything from airplanes in the distance to the sound of your own breath. There's movements in the room, movements in the building sounds out in the park. There's wind, yes, movement of the windows from time to time. If it gets windy.:
Speaker 2:
20:40
Okay?:
Speaker 1:
20:42
And what you're doing is allowing all of this sound from all of these different places to wash you.:
Speaker 3:
20:48
Now when the mind gets drawn to a sound, when we're doing the modern mind thing,:
Speaker 2:
20:53
okay,:
Speaker 3:
20:54
just come back and notice that you're sitting. Notice where your setting in your mind.:
Speaker 2:
21:00
Okay.:
Speaker 3:
21:01
No sense of place because this practice allows you to Orient Yourself.:
Speaker 2:
21:15
Okay?:
Speaker 3:
21:16
If the summary isn't it, it became very, very dark. You'd rely on the sounds to navigate your way around the room. So while we have a sense of being in ourselves, then we know it's the sounds all around us. And that's, that's the exercise. When we practice this for the next few minutes, just not saying sounds arising. Sounds some siding. Well, just noticing the hubbub of all sound. Yeah, just listening. So there's no goals or expectations. This isn't mental training. You don't get anything out. Yeah. You're just noticing all sound. Well, it doesn't matter what's happening in the mind. Mind could be busy. The mind can be wandering. What we're just noticing, those sounds from all around us. So we're not picking up any particular sound. What you want is the hub of all sound.:
Speaker 2:
24:48
Yeah.:
Speaker 3:
25:08
So the important things to recognize about this meditation of no meditation, there's nothing to be gotten from it. Everything we do in the modern world we do because we're going to get something from it. Everything except for this, which is why it isn't in the modern world. We have to introduce it. So you're learning to do something without getting anything from it. And notice what happens to the mind. Not Interesting. So now if we move on to another slightly similar, slightly different practice, we just move straight into it. That was the meditation of no meditation for sound. And this is the meditation of no meditation for breath. So do the meditation and no meditation for breath. What we're doing is now it's in a tiny movement. It's the movement of the ballet just at the point.:
Speaker 2:
26:29
Yeah.:
Speaker 3:
26:30
Well, the belly makes the chest and you're noticing the rising and falling, tiny little movement. You might need to put your fingers there or maybe you can notice it and that's it. Just noticing the movement. It doesn't matter if the mind is busy, the mind wanders, thoughts arise, emotions. There are what sounds happen here, whether you're comfortable or uncomfortable, whether you're cool or warm weather you got tired or the or the or relaxed or tense or nothing matters. We'll just notice in that tiny little movement, and again, there's nothing to be gained, almost imperceptible movement and I, what we do is we add:
Speaker 2:
27:56
it:
Speaker 3:
28:00
and what we add is we note the movement in our mind. So it was the belly expands and contracts expands contracts. Please sign our mind rising.:
Speaker 2:
28:19
Holden:
Speaker 3:
28:22
bellies growing. We say rising, Belize. Shrinking. We say Foley rising four.:
Speaker 2:
28:53
Okay. Okay. Yeah.:
Speaker 3:
29:41
Again, there's no goal,:
Speaker 2:
29:42
no expectations, nothing to be gained. It doesn't matter about the mind. It doesn't matter about how we feel, what's going on in our experience. Noticing that movement and repeating and our mind rising as the belly expands, falling as the ballet friends.:
Speaker 3:
30:43
So now what we're going to do is I had a little job to this. Well, the little job is, is to notice if our mind's wandered. So whenever our mind wandered and we notice how thoughts arise, and one thought leads to another, and before you know it, no you are. You're not in this chair anymore. Instead, your mind is taking you somewhere else. And then you'll notice whenever you notice that the mind's wandered, come back and notice the breath. You can either notice the breath in the belly where you cannot use the breath in the nostrils.:
Speaker 2:
31:22
Okay,:
Speaker 3:
31:26
so this is a meditation. This is the following. The breath meditation is 2,500 years old. In the script has four lines. Notice the breath, mind wanders or turns of the breath. Repeat. Just noticing the breath. The mind wanders at some point or another. Some on other point, you notice that the mind's wandered and you come back and notice the breath. Because it's a meditation. I'll begin and end it with a belt. Hello. Very good practical reasons. And then every so often because the molten mind is a wonder he mined every so often. I'll sound the bell:
Speaker 4:
32:35
asked to help here.:
Speaker 3:
32:38
Let me to see if your mind wanders. NFL has it's come back. Notice the breath. Cool breath in, breath out.:
Speaker 2:
33:46
Yeah.:
Speaker 3:
34:59
Doesn't matter how much the mind wanders so we're not trying. Although the mind will introduce trying all on its own. Really. It doesn't matter if the mind wanders a thousand times Janet and turn our attention to the breath a thousand times.:
Speaker 2:
35:23
Okay,:
Speaker 1:
36:00
so breathing in, noticing whatever it is you can smell and taste and the sensation of setting:
Speaker 4:
36:11
early on time:
Speaker 1:
36:16
gently to turn your attention to your surroundings. Okay, so w what that does, that last practice following the breath is because it's such a neutral experience, the breath is neutral. You can't distinguish between good and bad breath. What happens is that the mind wanders and then you notice, and that moment when you notice that the mind's wandered, that's called the moment of recognition. That's what we're practicing. We're not practicing, staying focused on the breath. We're practicing the repeating of the moment of recognition. Over and over and over again. The moment when you notice that your mind's wandered and then you come back to the breath on, you know, neutral, present moment back to here. So before we can be happy if the Dalai Lama's correct and he says that happiness is fulfillment from a neutral present moment, the first prerequisite is we have to be in that present moment to notice it.:
Speaker 2:
37:26
Okay?:
Speaker 1:
37:27
Without that, all bets are off. So if you spend the day on autopilot, you haven't been happy. I haven't been happy because you haven't had a present moment because your mind's been on project x or what you're going to do next month or what's going to happen in the future or what's happened in the past or what our apps to be. See, I'm noticed you go through the day and on that day hasn't existed yet. You've lived at in your mind, and that's not unusual. Big City light, their slot. People spend their entire lives in their mind and I don't want to come back to the present moment because it's neutral and it's not exciting and it, it gets classified as boring.:
Speaker 1:
38:09
She's an interesting thing and so what this practice does is reminds us s s subconscious mind. We train it through repetition, which is how you train and subconscious through repetition. You want to learn to juggle. You want him to learn a cycle. You want to learn your times table. You're training your subconscious to know it through repetition and you practice this moment of recognition over and over again and you find that you experienced the moment of recognition during your day. Are you spending more time present and less time? Wherever your mind is taking you, but you, you're here, you have the choice so you can go back, go back whenever you want. Let's say you're ruminating over some shocking thing in the past and you come back to the present moment. You've got the choice. You can stay here or you can go back and ruminate.:
Speaker 1:
39:06
It's fine, it's up to you, but now you're doing it out of choice. Whereas previously it was happening to you and you didn't get a choice moment. You come back to the present moment. If you choose to choose rumination on or worry or fear or anxiety or doubt or anything like that, then you can take your mind there. And similarly. So if you want happiness and joy and bliss and so on, try competing between bliss in the present moment and blessing the past or the future. It's up to you. You get to choose. So you can find that bliss in your mind from the past or the future. And it's better than the blessing. Joy, the present moment. That is great. You can go there, you know, choosing to go there. Okay, so one more meditation, and this is called a gratitude meditation. It's from a huge library of meditations, the Buddhist teach. And what they do is they operate on our, on our warm, positive, happy emotions. So if you get yourselves comfortable and begin by noticing the sense of sitting, so your presence, your hair, however you feel, ideally feet on the floor, elbows by your side, balance your scholars comfortably as it can be on top of your spine. Comfort, comfort for the balance scale. That's what we're looking for. And if you're noticing your breath, it's good to notice your breath. Notice the chest rising and falling on the top of your belly.:
Speaker 2:
41:02
Okay.:
Speaker 1:
41:02
And then bring to mind whichever being it is that brings you a warm feeling when you bring them to mind. Could be why I say being because it might not be a human being. It could be a pat. Because human beings, we adopt our pants, they become part of our family. So it might be that your pet brings you a warm feeling or a human being brings you a warm feeling and it might be now or it might be from the past.:
Speaker 3:
41:35
That doesn't matter because of what we're looking for is that warm feeling. So bring to mind that Ba, what brings you a warm feeling and Ui? Visualize them in your mind. If you're a visual person, if you're not a visual person, brings to mind the sense of being with them. How it makes you feel. Allow yourself to notice that feeling. So you're noticing the breath, rising and falling of the chest expanding and contracting, and you're able to connect with that warm feeling related to the, of being a good person. This is known as. And then what you do is you repeat a mantra in your mind. And all the mantra is these are was that we say in our mind while we meditate. Well, you could be challenging them, but we don't do challenging and these words, this is the compassion mantra. So as we have that Ba that brings us a warm feeling in our mind. On three separate out breaths, we Cyanna mind my baby. Well, might I be happy? Might I find peace of mind be well? Might I be happy? Why they find peace of mind and yeah, and it is somewhere on a spectrum. Some people notice this as a, as an enjoyable, elevated experience and other people don't. It doesn't matter. But first, for most of us, this is just words,:
Speaker 3:
44:09
a good person or the being and our mind. May they be well, might I be happy? May they find peace of mind. And now bring to mind a neutral person. So this is somebody whose name you don't know and you haven't formed an opinion or whether you like them or not. Let's say it could be a neighbor whose name you don't know that you pass in the street. Um, it could be somebody who you've known a while ago and whose name you forgotten, uh, could be a coworker. It could be somebody at a local shop that just somebody who you can bring to mind might have been somebody you encountered this morning. You don't have anything other than a neutral perspective on. And you hold that neutral person in mind and you in your mind, may they be well, may I be happy? Hey, they find peace of mind.:
Speaker 2:
45:24
Yeah.:
Speaker 3:
45:25
Only outprice separate out, bro. I be well, may they be happy, may they find peace of mind. And so now bring to mind a difficult person. And so when you do that, it's gotta be not somebody who's really upset. Yeah. Okay. So this isn't your, um, arch enemy. This is just somebody who recently may have done or said something unhealthy,:
Speaker 2:
46:26
full,:
Speaker 3:
46:28
thoughtless, or inconsiderate, or even just a little bit rude. Yeah. Somebody shut a door in your face or pushed in front of you in a queue. That kind of thing.:
Speaker 2:
46:42
We're looking for,:
Speaker 3:
46:47
and in a city of 8 million people, it's difficult to avoid that. You know, somebody cutting you off at the traffic lights or pulling out in front of your car or you know, just having a bad day and I've kind of tried to pass it onto you. Hold that difficult person in mind and say, in your mind, may they be well, might I be happy? Might I find peace of mind?:
Speaker 2:
47:38
[inaudible]:
Speaker 3:
48:06
okay, now bring to mind your image of yourself. Whatever it is, could be what you see in the mirror. Could be your favorite selfie. It could be however you perceive yourself, however you feel other people feel about you or think about you will however they see you.:
Speaker 2:
48:29
Right?:
Speaker 3:
48:31
How old in mind? An image of yourself.:
Speaker 2:
48:34
Okay.:
Speaker 3:
48:34
And you sign your mind. May I be? Well, may I be happy my I find peace of mind.:
Speaker 2:
48:44
Yeah. Yeah.:
Speaker 3:
49:10
I now return to your mind being brings you won't. When you hold them in mind and you say in your mind, may they be well mine, I'd be happy. Might I find peace of mind? And you're noticing your breath rising and falling. Hold the image of that good person or that being that brings you warmth in your mind. Notice how it makes you feel. Allow yourself to feel that.:
Speaker 2:
49:52
Yeah.:
Speaker 3:
49:55
Breathing in, noticing whatever is you can smell and taste and the sensation of sitting:
Speaker 1:
50:05
and new [inaudible] time gently return your attention to your surroundings. So on the face of it, that might appear and attempt if we were trying, trying to have compassion for all of these various different actors in our life. But actually no, because the of meditation is to become familiar with the mind and though they're all metaphors and except for yourself. Yeah. So the, the neutral person is, is the metaphor for neutral people. And I know how many neutral people there are in your life. There's 8 billion off of them. Right. So your relationship with neutral people is important. And you now know what it consists of. Yeah. Sorry. If, if, if you can't gain any fulfillment from interactions with neutral people, then it's something that you can practice. And the way your practice is by doing this over and over again. And it's the same with, with difficult people. So all we're doing is picking somebody who's mildly irritating. And I know how many are mildly irritating people that are in your life because you live in London as a million of them.:
Speaker 1:
51:27
Okay. And so if you want to find fulfillment from your interactions with my lyrics, I in people and know how to practice it, you do do this meditation over and over again, and then you see yourself as well. The shock to me, I thought I was cruising along. I was, I was compassionate about the difficult person the first time I did this. I'm thinking, yeah, yeah. Um, I'm super cool spiritual. Got It. Sussed, calm, happy, compassionate, caring to me. Nothing. And, and so what my, my relationship to myself and it's a thing, it's a real thing, you know? Uh, how I perceive myself, it was broken. And so I did this, done this for 10 years, I suppose now, something like that. And you know, I've healed my relationship to myself and difficult people and neutral people. And it's just, just, just a matter of practicing it. So, and it doesn't, you're not actually, you're not looking for anything in it. What you're doing is it's telling you how you interact with the world, not the other way around. You're not using it to change and become Mr Compassionate, your actually noticing what your interactions are and getting familiar and comfortable with it. Familiar, comfortable. That's what made its purpose of meditation is to become familiar with the mind. And the mind is thoughts and emotions. So this is tells us a lot. Okay. So that's it for today for happiness.:
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