Money & Legacy: Debt, Wealth, Family & Career

191. What Every Single Mom Needs to Hear About Money Right Now // with Rachel Duck

Laura Sexton Season 4 Episode 16

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0:00 | 28:24

What happens when your whole financial future changes overnight? In this episode, Laura sits down with Rachel Duck—mom of three, real estate investor, coach, and author of A Single Mom’s Guide to Financial Freedom—to talk about rebuilding after divorce, creating a plan, and moving from financial survival to financial freedom. Rachel shares how becoming a single mom in 2020 forced her to rethink everything, and how that journey became the foundation for her book and her message. 

Together, Laura and Rachel talk about the mindset shift single moms need most, the importance of defining a financial freedom number, why clarity matters more than perfection, and how small wins can help someone break out of the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle. Rachel also shares the 7-step framework behind her book: mindset, defining the formula, reality assessment, budgeting, income growth, investing, and generosity. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  •  Why mindset is the first step toward financial healing 
  •  How to calculate your own financial freedom number 
  •  What to do when expenses no longer match your reality 
  •  Why single moms need both practical plans and small wins 
  •  How Rachel thinks about budgeting, income growth, investing, and generosity after divorce 

If you know a single mom who feels behind, ashamed, or overwhelmed, send her this episode. Rachel’s message is clear: you have not failed, it is not too late, and financial freedom is possible.


Follow Rachel Here:
Instagram: @rachelannduck

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You are listening to the Money and Legacy Podcast with Laura Sexton. I'm helping families pay off debt, grow wealth, and build a legacy without sacrificing what matters most. This is where money feels easy.

Laura

Hey, legacy builders. We are going to be talking today to my friend and hopefully soon to be your friend, Rachel Duck. She is a mom of three and she's a real estate investor, a consultant, an agent, a coach, and now an author. She is written a wonderful new book called A Single Mom's Guide to Financial Freedom. You know. I'm going to love this book and so I know you are going to love this book. So Rachel, welcome to the show.

Rachel Duck

Thank you. Thanks so much for having me. Appreciate it.

Laura

Rachel is a part of the Brand Builders Group, which I'm a part of, and she is launching her book and we are so excited to get some new eyeballs on this. Hopefully get some readers that are going to just really be served. But Rachel, for the listeners that are meeting you for the very first time. What made you, first of all, who are you and, and who do you serve? And then, and then secondly, what made you decide to focus specifically on single moms?

Rachel Duck

So, I'm Rachel Duck. I, I am a mom of three. I live outside of Austin, Texas. In my background, I've worked in real estate for, two decades now in different capacities. So I work in property tax work and consulting and sales and investing, and that's my passion. This book is an outpouring just of a passion project. So I, I myself became a single mom, in 2020, right when COVID hit. Kind of had to re-figure out what my life go, looking forward. My plan would be, I'm a very big planner, so I had everything lined out like my ex-husband, worked in government and a, a pretty stable job. So I had, you know, our next. 30, 40 years planned out financially, and that shifted. It opened a lot of cool doors for me and my kids, and I've had a lot of friends go through the same scenario. Not exactly the same, but different, different scenarios, but becoming a. Single moms after having a, a pretty stable financial lifestyle. And how to, to, to regroup your footing, not just to survive, but to really grow towards thriving. My, my goal is for everyone to end up in a place of generosity, and abundance where they can live their passion, and not be kind of beholden to how am I gonna pay my bills?'cause I think that's how we all should live,

Laura

Abundance is one of my favorite words. But you saying that I'm intrigued. Starting with generosity, that seems really scary, especially when you're going through a big life transition. Why is generosity the place to start?

Rachel Duck

Yeah. And I I love that you asked that. In Brand Builder's Group, we have our uniqueness. It's kind of like our under recurring word in mine I just knew was gonna be generosity. And it, it didn't necessarily fit at first because it, it, seemed like more accountability. But I think generosity first in your finances is really what transformed my financial, life. And this was before I got divorced, before I became a single mom. But. The principle of giving first, and you know, if, if you are a churchgoer, you hear this at church, but I think the statistics are even amongst, churchgoing Christians, something crazy, like only five to 10% actually practice a regular tithing. The 10%, and I remember one day. Hearing my pastor speak on it. And my reaction was always just that gut wrench, which I think a lot of people feel like, oh, they just want my money. Yeah. And something changed that day, and this was again probably 10 or 12 years ago. My babies were babies and I, I just said, you know what? I'm gonna try it, I'm gonna test it out, see what happens. And it really changed my whole perspective on my finances because it's about giving first. Because you're, it's a heart posture and so that's the minimal level. But, just having that heart posture of open hands, and this isn't really mine, but I'm going to steward it correctly, is really what changes everything when you get your mindset right. In my, my book, I have seven steps to, to move from financial survival to thriving. And the first step is mindset. The last step's generosity, and so they kind of tie back to each other because you're starting with a mindset where you're getting that giving first. Even if you don't really want to, you're just gonna do it and you're gonna change how you're approaching it. And then by the time you get to the last step. It just is a natural part of who you are, and you can live from a position of generosity. And that's really the goal is to get there. So that's my heart.

Laura

Yeah, I love that. So one of the things that I say all the times is if you're holding your hands in a closed fist and you're holding your money really, really tight. Nothing else can get in.

Sammy W.

Right.

Laura

Like you might be holding it, but nothing like you can't receive anything. But if you hold your hands openly, yeah, some money might fall out, but also you can receive so much more. And so I love that that is your posture as well. I think that we're rather aligned on that one.

Sammy W.

Yeah.

Laura

I wanna know more about your seven steps. So

Sammy W.

this

Laura

is me being super nosy. Can you tell me and like aerial view, what are those seven steps?

Sammy W.

So the first one's mindset, and that seems, I know it seems kind of, you know, not as actionable, but to me it's really important, especially for my, my audience, single moms and for myself. This is speaking from experience. You come into a position that you weren't expecting, and sometimes you're in a posture of either I'm a victim or if only, and these things that go through your head like this would only be easier if. I one day just drew a line in the sand and said, this isn't helping. And for many of, of you out there who maybe went through some pretty hard stuff, it, it probably is true. It's probably awful. But that doesn't help you, right? So if you're in that mindset posture, you're not able to improve your situation because you're focusing on what happened to you versus what can I control,

Laura

right?

Sammy W.

And the reason I love finances for, for women going through divorce or coming out of divorce is it is something that you actually have some control over. Relationships are harder. Finances. Like, I can make a plan. I, I, I can assess where I'm at. And then I can get to that end goal by, by making that plan. So start with mindset, trying to, to get aligned with this. Okay, this happened. I'm gonna replace those. I call'em scarcity strip scripts with abundance affirmations. Flip the switch. Just claim it. Take ownership of my own financial future. And then my step two, I call it the formula. So that's when you define your end goal. The financial freedom formula is what I call it. But basically it's just looking at what amount of equity or capital would you need to be considered financially free. And what that means is what amount of equity or capital. If invested at a particular rate of return and we walk through your return assumptions based on your risk profile, what would cover your expenses. So, for instance, if you have$10,000 a month in expenses, 4% return, two and a half million would be your number kind of thing. And that's gonna be different obviously for everybody, but I like to define it. Just so you're, you put that on the wall and say, okay. This is my goal because I want to get to a place where I have the freedom to cover my expenses and not worry about what's going on in my life. Not to quit my job necessarily, but to have that freedom. So I like to define it.

Laura

Is that what you call your financial freedom number?

Sammy W.

Yes. Yes.

Laura

Okay. Great. I love it.

Sammy W.

Love it. Yeah, and I think a lot of people, they call it different things. It's the same idea where, where would I cover, where would I be able to cover my expenses? And then that, just have that sigh of, okay, I'm okay.

Laura

I ask, sorry, can I ask you a nitty gritty question?

Sammy W.

Yeah.

Laura

Where do you get the 4% amount that you're safely with? Draw down.

Sammy W.

So mine, so I said 4%. Mine is based on a rate of return assumption, not a drawdown because it's based on the cash flow off the assets. And so my 4% is based on, so I have a risk profile assessment, but basically how much risk you each individual person is comfortable with. And so a very low, very low risk to a more high risk go up to 10%. I'm not comfortable myself with that as an assumption because I feel like. That's above where I would like to be in a comfortable level. So I, I use 4% as the kinda the middle risk range, essentially, just saying if I have that capital invested, can I achieve 4% off of it and that 4% cover my expenses Okay. Versus draw down. So that's, that's maybe Okay.

Laura

No, I love that.

Sammy W.

Yeah. So your capital would still be there versus the Right.

Laura

Okay.

Sammy W.

So my step three is, I call it reality assessment. So it's basically, where are you now? We, we don't know where we're going if we don't know with real clarity where you are now. And for a lot of women walking out of divorce, they may have never really been involved in their finances. A lot of my, my friends and people I've coached through this. Had no idea because their husband handled it. Or maybe you do, or maybe you're hiding things from yourself. I did that where it's like, Ugh, I don't really want to admit that I spent this amount or what. So we do, 30 days of strict expense tracking. So you can either go backwards or forwards or both just get a real clear idea of what your actual expenses are, and then do look at your assets and liabilities. Create a, a balance sheet for what you have. If you're about to go through a divorce, this is really important because you need to know what's out there, what assets you have. And if you're coming out of it, you also need to know, because you need to know what you're starting with. And it might be you're starting with a negative net worth. You might have a lot of debt you're bringing in and you might have to claw yourself out of that. And that's okay. You just gotta know where you are or you won't know where you're going

Laura

or

Sammy W.

you know where you're going, but you won't know how to get there. Um. So that's step three. And then step four, we work on strict budgeting. So I, I call that getting to ground level. So you've assessed your reality. Now we're gonna get our expenses under control first. So we really want to achieve a, positive income gap between your income and expenses. And so some people may already have that. Some people may be in a good position, some people may have a lot of consumer debt that you really have to attack. Or get your expenses down phased phase budgeting, you know, try to do 10% each budget to try and cut it down. And it might be easy at first. You know, you can cut out the, the Starbucks run or the target runs those discretionary expenses, but you might get to a place where to get that margin large enough, you have to make some hard decisions. Like, is that car something that I really need? Can I move, out of this house that I can no longer afford? And those are harder decisions, you know, because there's a lot more tied to that, especially if you have kids, but sometimes you have to make those decisions. I moved my kids eight times in four years. My strategy was real estate rental. So there's a strategy there, but it was not easy. but it was, it was fun in its own way. So I, I get it. There's some, some challenges, but that's why I want everybody to define that number and know your why. And if you really wanna pursue it, then you're willing to make some sacrifices. So that's step four. And then step five, we work on income growth. So what are some, avenues for you to grow your income, either with your own employment or side hustles? What can you do with your available time not to reach a period of, or a place of exhaustion because. You know, you need to be there for yourself and your kids, but how can you fit in pockets of time or additional resources you have? Renting out rooms if it's safely done or that kind of thing is also an option. So we walk through ways to increase your income. That goal is really to just keep that income margin growing because the next step is investing. So once you've got your defense, strong offense is good with your income growth. How can we start investing safely depending on your risk profile, depending on your knowledge base and what you're comfortable with. So get all through that. And then the final steps is generosity, where you really are able to live a life of purpose and passion in which you want to do because you have the freedom to do so. Sorry, that's a lot.

Laura

No, that's so good. And I'm glad that you know it as well as you do, so that when people come to you, you can be like, all right, this is exactly where you start. Do you. Are, is there one specific area where you find single moms struggle the most?

Sammy W.

Yeah, I think, well, a lot of, I think they come, most of the single moms I've worked with come in struggling with expenses, exceeding their income, because they were in a scenario where. Two incomes. In a lot of cases, the male or husband was the, the primary breadwinner. So now they have the same lifestyle because their kids are comfortable and they're in the schools that they wanna be, but they can't afford it. And so having to. Look at their reality, and then, okay, we gotta make a plan. And I've had one of my good friends, she was in that scenario, beautiful home. She had to sell it, she had to move to a rental, all these things. But she's doing it with joy because she had her mindset, right? She knows the end goal, she knows where she's going with her kids, and you can make it, you know, make it an adventure. But it's hard. It's hard to change that. But I think that's what I've seen most is that misalignment with. Expenses and income just because you're coming from one scenario into a new one.

Laura

Yeah, I, I have a couple clients that I work with that are going through this life transition where they're becoming single moms, and one thing I hear all the time, whether they're clients or just coming onto a clarity call to get some information from me. I hear all the time, well, I don't want things to change for the kids, and my response is. 99% of the times everything's already changed.

Sammy W.

Yeah. Right, right.

Laura

The staying in the same house isn't, you know, that doesn't keep it from every time I walk in this house. It feels weird now. Mm-hmm. For them, I am a product of, how do you say this nicely? My parents got divorced when I was really young.

Sammy W.

Mm-hmm.

Laura

So I'm on the other side. So a lot of times when I'm having this conversation with women, I'm like, Hey, guess what? My mom moved a bunch.

Sammy W.

Yeah,

Laura

I'm a completely, mostly normal, you know, rational human being, and it's, it's gonna be okay. And I think sometimes being just on the other side of that, I can speak into it and it gives a little bit of peace, but at the same time, your whole life is blown up and you're like, I just wanna hold onto one thing. And I just feel like,

Sammy W.

yeah,

Laura

it's a false hope. If that's where you're trying to hold onto, that's the wrong thing to hold onto. That's not a hope, that's gonna keep you safe.

Sammy W.

Yeah. No, I think that's a great perspective that you have as a child of divorce to have that. I mean that's, that is encouraging to be able to tell somebody that. Yeah. Yeah, and I think it's. I've heard that a lot too. Like I don't want anything to change. And the hard reality is, like you said, it is changing, you know, and the house is not gonna be the thing that's the stability for the kids. It's gonna be you, you feeling, feeling peace and feeling you feeling stable and you feeling like you can take care of them. And if that means you gotta change your physical location, that's better for the kids. Than the alternative. So yeah, I think that that perspective shift, it's hard and I get it, there's a lot of compassion there because it's not an easy process. But like I said, the reason I love finances is because it is something that we can work towards. We can, I find it so much easier to help someone fix their finances than help them heal a relationship to me, that's, that's a much harder, task to tackle, but we can create a plan here that you can feel many successes each day as you move forward. And I feel like that's empowering for someone going through an earth shaking event like a divorce.

Laura

Okay. So I wanna ask you I wanna get into this. You have written a book called A Single Mom's Guide to Financial Freedom.

Sammy W.

Yep.

Laura

What is this? Let's say some, one of my listeners goes, picks up the book and they're actually gonna follow it. They're gonna go all in. They're gonna do this. Where are they on day one, and what change do you think they'll see 90 days in?

Sammy W.

Yeah, so day one of the book, we're we're talking about your mindset. So we're talking about just reframing how you're thinking about money, how you're thinking about your current P position, and really getting on a solid footing. The book is meant to be done, as you're working through the actual process. So it's not meant to be read and then go back and do the work because I don't think that works. And so I very explicitly in the book, okay, the mindset part. Depending on where you are, maybe a week or two, we really go through some exercises. Write out your why. Write out your life. Kind of like a vision statement, what you want out of your life so that you can come back to that and know why you're doing this. So that can take some time or maybe not if you're already in a pretty good spot. The next stage stage, um, calculating your financial freedom number can go pretty quick. Um, you just need to know some information about your expenses or estimating, but then, so 90 days in. You'll be expense tracking stage 30 to 60 days. So you really need to go through your expenses, get your balance sheet out, work on that. And then you're coming into budgeting. So within 90 days you're probably starting, one of your first phase budgets. And I really want anyone reading the book to just. To work through it sequentially and do the work because otherwise, you know, you might get some motivation, you might feel great, get some good stories, but there won't be that true change. And that takes time as you go through the process.

Laura

Okay. Yeah, I see that. A lot of my clients and a lot of my listeners are currently paycheck to paycheck.

Sammy W.

Mm-hmm.

Laura

I know they're supposed to pick up the book and they're supposed to go through it step by step, which is great. Where do you think the biggest difference will come for a person that is living paycheck to paycheck and they're ready to get out of that cycle?

Sammy W.

Yeah, I just think, that is a anxiety ridden cycle. So waking up every day not knowing exactly. I, that's, that's an undercurrent that impacts a lot of, a lot of your life. And to, to break free of that might seem. Like, it's not possible where you are right now because you can't see how that could happen because you're just worried about paying those bills. So, so someone in that cycle needs, they need little wins. And so you start working towards, you know, identifying your expenses and start working towards your budget, but in the meantime you need little wins. So, you know, I talk about, going through your subscriptions, just those little things to get an extra. 50 bucks. 20 bucks, going through calling your insurance, trying to get that lowered to get a couple, even if it's 20 bucks. Get those little wins so you can feel that momentum. And then as you're going towards creating your, your budget, we look at cutting the first 10%. So for someone paycheck to paycheck, you might be on a, well, you can be paycheck to paycheck at different levels, right? There's a lot of people at very high income that are paycheck to paycheck, and then low income as well. So how can you cut out the first 10% and that's the easiest parts because you might. Have a lot of discretionary expenses that you can cut, maybe a little bit less, but you can find ways to just really commit to creating a little bit of breathing room and then creating more, and then creating more. And there's gonna be some harder decisions that might have to come if you are in a really tight place financially. But to get those expenses down first and then look at ways to grow your income, and, and growing your income might include opportunities at your current employment. It might include looking at. Different areas of employment. There might need to be really big changes that happen there for you to get that breathing room that you need. But I think just starting by knowing where you are and getting those expensive, stabilized, even if it's challenging, gives you that breathing room.

Laura

No, I love that. You mentioned having, or developing a membership where single moms can come in and. What is the goal there? Is it just come in and get support? Are you going to be coaching them financially? What are you establishing there?

Sammy W.

Yeah, so the membership's really, and the, the first level, it's called foundation. It's really meant to be aligned with working through the book, and through the state of the seven Steps. So I wrote the book first and then thinking, okay, if someone's actually going through this and it's taking months. Having some accountability, is gonna really be what helps them get, get through to the finish line. And so the initial level membership, it's pretty low entry barrier to entry on costs. But to just have an accountability group and then we'll do weekly coaching calls where we'll talk about a topic and then have, have some, q and a for anybody coming in and saying, I'm really struggling with this. Where, what are some feedback from, from myself, from the group as well to, to help you just. Continue down the path so you can actually be successful. That's the idea behind it. So there are gonna be higher levels too. You know, my passion is investing, so I, I do have a, a higher level membership that will be coming. It's not available yet, but to kind of work on, investing goals as you get through the, through that financial freedom process

Laura

You're gonna talk about real estate.

Sammy W.

Yes.

Laura

Right because I know you love real estate and it's a, it's a really big buzzword right now. A lot of my listeners know we just bought our first home, which is really exciting. But my question, knowing the world is nuts. So, and a lot of people are like, you can never buy a home. And I'm like, don't, is probably that very large car payment sitting in your driveway, but I'll get onto that soapbox another day. What are some real pros and cons in today's market? In the real estate market for a single mom right now.

Sammy W.

I started in real estate, you know, 2006, it's ups and downs on, on both sides of the aisle. So. I'm in Texas, it's gonna be different everywhere, but, it's actually a decent time to try to buy in Texas because you can get good discounts. Not a great time to sell, but as far as an investment strategy for me there, you know, it's not gonna work for everybody. But my investment strategy has been mostly long-term rentals. And there's a lot of benefits. You know, your tenants pay down your mortgage. You get a lot of tax benefits from having the mortgage and having the pay down, you get the cash flow and appreciation on the property. And so it has really been transformative in my own journey, investing journey. Tangible that I have more knowledge and control over versus stocks I do invest in, in stock funds mainly as well. I think it's important to have a diversified portfolio as you get into investing so that that's gonna look different for everyone. Not everyone's gonna want to be in real estate and doing real estate investing and that's totally fine. It is obviously. A larger barrier to entry on capital for a lot of the instances to get in there. But there's ways to get in, with syndications and real estate investment trust if you wanna invest in it with smaller, with smaller initial capital. But I also just love it. So I think when you're looking at what you want to invest in. What you're comfortable with and what gets you excited are, are important factors too. So, yeah.

Laura

Let's say there's a single mom that has been listening to this episode and she feels behind or ashamed or like she's ruined something, which you and I both know that she hasn't ruined anything in the middle of life, but she's listening anyway. Is there something that you would like to say to her specifically?

Sammy W.

Yeah, it's just really my heart for everyone really, but specifically obviously single moms to know that it's possible. I just like to tell everyone financial freedom is possible for everyone, and I just, I think for that single mom sitting in that position of, I don't really know what to do next. I feel like my life's been shaken. I just want you to reassess where you are. Take ownership of your own financial future. That's, that's kind of my, hard, hard love or, or challenge. Love is that you can do it, but you have to take ownership. And it's not just for you, it's for your kids and it's for your legacy and your generations, but generations, ahead of you or behind you, however you look at it. But that's, that is really what I want everyone to think of. It's not you want your kids. To see you in a place of security and peace, and they want to see you thriving. And so that might mean making some difficult choices right now, but it's gonna be worth it in, in the long run. So I just want the single mom out there to feel that a lot of us have been there. There's that community and support, that you can find out there to help guide you through that because you're not alone in it. You haven't failed. It's not too late. You can do it, but just take that next best step, and that's gonna be different for everybody. But just take one step and then it'll become the next one and the next one, and then you can get there.

Laura

Well, I think the best first step for them is to jump on over to Instagram and follow you, Rachel and Duck, right? Yeah, that's your handle. Okay, perfect. They need to go follow you on Instagram and then I want them all to go out and grab the book. So where is the best place to go get that book?

Sammy W.

Yeah, no, I, I would love for y'all to follow along. It's pre-orders are available now on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. So if, if you go to Amazon and just Google Rachel Duck, the book comes up first and then there's like a rubber ducky. Nothing to do with me, but yeah. But, or on Instagram at Rachel and Duck. If you go in my bio, I have a pre-order link that you can go to as well. So yeah, I would love for y'all to, to grab a copy and, and follow along. And my website will be launching soon where those community groups will be an option. As, as well. If you wanna join and have some accountability and, fellowship as you walk through it,

Laura

Should women get together and wanna do their own book club?

Sammy W.

Okay. I will have a small group guide because I, a big part of who I think would benefit would be small groups. So whether it's church groups or women's book clubs or, or what have you. I think that would be a, a valuable tool. It's not available yet, but yes, that's in the, in the works.

Laura

Well, and then if anybody has questions, they can always reach out to you and ask and, and who, who knows. I hope this book is absolutely ridiculously, amazingly successful because I know that you have a heart for this. This is a God-given mission that you have on your heart, and I believe that he funds what he favors and he will do big things through you, I hope.

Sammy W.

It is my passion and I'm excited to see what, what comes of it. So thank you for your kind words.

Laura

Okay, one last question that I love to ask all of my guests.

Sammy W.

Yep.

Laura

What is the legacy that you want to leave?

Sammy W.

I have, three or four words that I want to be remembered by once I leave this earth. I want to be remembered for impact, for generosity, for freedom and abundance. And really what I want to leave is that mindset of. Generosity. So I want people to remember me as someone, not just in the context of money, but of spirit and of heart, and just when they think of me. Because I think of my grandma, and you think of that person in the first word that comes to mind. And I want it to be generosity, and I want to instill that through my kids. I want to create a legacy through them that changes the world in their own way. And I tell my kids that every day. Like when you think of someone changing the world. You might think of a really big thing and that's great, but we all change the world each day by the way that we compose ourselves, the way that we act in the legacy we leave. So that's my hope, is to be remembered that way when I leave the earth.

Laura

All right, well, thank you so much for being. A guest on this show. It has been an honor to speak with you. And we may have to circle back at some point when your membership is up and going, and, share a little bit about some of the transformation that you're making through that.

Sammy W.

I would love that, and thank you so much for having me on to talk.

Laura

Legacy Builders. Thank you so much for being here, and I will talk to you all soon. Go out and make a difference.