13 Things I Miss About My Daughter

Tracey shares the heartfelt story of her daughter T'Kenya's passing 19 years ago, and how this profound loss transformed her life's purpose and birthed her business, Living My Empowered Life.

• The origin of T'Kenya's name came through a vivid dream.
• 13 cherished memories, including her contagious laugh, homemade cards, and heartfelt hugs.
• The importance of recording memories while loved ones are still here.
• How finding her daughter's prayer in her Bible created her business name.
• The transition from grief to becoming a grief coach.
• Why children are more perceptive than we often realize.
• The understanding that grief has no time limit, but how we grieve should change.
• Lessons about documenting precious moments with family before it's too late.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to the Charging Station
• 3:40 Remembering My Daughter Takenya
• 8:20 13 Things I Miss About Her
• 16:40 The Last Gift I Gave Her
• 22:45 How She Named My Business
• 31:40 From Grief to Purpose

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Come, take a seat on the couch. Welcome, as we talk about everything under the sun. You only live once, so I leave my empower line. Welcome to the Charging Station. No matter what you're fixing, you can join the conversation me and the Charging Station. What's good everybody? Welcome to the Charging Station Podcast. It's your girl, tracy Mastia, of Living my Empowered Life. Hello, hello, hello. If you are new here, welcome to the shenanigans. I hope that you will stay. We are making room for you on the couchy couch. All right, everybody, you know what to do. Grab your coffee, grab your tea, grab your water, grab your wine whatever your beverage of choice is, go ahead and grab that thing and have a seat on the couchy couch. If you are a returning viewer, listener, subscriber, friend, welcome. You know I love me some of you. I'm so happy, happy, happy, in the words of Uncle Si Happy, happy, happy to have you here.

Speaker 1: 1:06

So, yeah, we are here for another episode and I am kind of in a somber mood today because at the time of the recording of this podcast, I am remembering my daughter. Today, april 16th 2006, my life as I knew it changed forever. My daughter passed away, and today makes 19 years that I have been without my heartbeat. That's what I call her, my heartbeat. So I decided to, this morning, commemorate her life, celebrate her life in a different way. Sorry, y'all, I did not plug in my laptop, so let me go and plug that in before she goes I'm about to say goes missing before we lose battery. All right, sorry, I just didn't want the episode to go down in the middle of the episode. So this morning I commemorated my daughter in a different way and I posted 13 things I miss about her, and let me put my phone on silent, but I'm going to share those 13 things and just kind of share how I got into grief coaching. She's actually the reason why I got into grief coaching. She is also the reason why I got into grief coaching. She is also the reason why we have Living my Empowered Life. So a lot of people don't know my story and how I got here. So this is just one layer of me and I'm going to share that with you today, if you don't mind. If you don't mind, now, now, now, now, now, now.

Speaker 1: 2:40

Before we do all that, let me get some housekeeping stuff out of the way here. We keep it classy over here, but you can also follow me on all of the socials. You can find me at Living my Empowered Life. I'm on Instagram, facebook, youtube, but of course, if you're watching YouTube, you know that Threads TikTok what am I missing? And you can also join my email list for it. It's about weekly to bi-weekly monthly email that I send out Y'all. If I don't have anything to say, I don't say anything. So there's that. I don't believe in just giving fluff, but follow me on all the socials.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Make sure you are subscribed to the charging station podcast on your preferred listening platform or it says follow whatever it asks you to do. Make sure you get these episodes. Go ahead, do that. And also, I would appreciate it if you would go ahead and leave a review. Let us know why you listen to the show, what you like about the show, leave us five stars or five mics wherever you're watching, listening or whatever, and all that jazz. Okay, now we got that out the way.

Speaker 1: 3:40

Let me tell you about my child. So how do I start? Let's just start at the beginning. My daughter was the only child that I had. She's the only child that I'm going to have, because I'm not having any more children, and she was basically the light of my life. I had her when I was 16. So I was a young mom and we grew up together. You know, we had a really great relationship. I wanted her to have the things that I did not have Later on in life. I kind of understand why my mom well, kind of I kind of understand why my mom did things the way that she did, but I also felt like I did not want to do those same things with my child. So I made sure that I had an open door, open mic policy with my daughter where she could come to talk to me, because I remember what it's like being a kid and having questions and then just getting shut down by a parent. I did not want my child to feel that way. Okay, so I tried to be basically the parents that my mother was not to me, that's no slight. To my mom, she did the best that she can do with what she had. And later on in my life, like I said, I can kind of understand some things and why she did some things, especially finding siblings and all this stuff. So, yeah, yeah, I said I'm gonna stop saying my life is boring, because clearly it's not Go back and listen to other episodes, especially the Branches series, you'll get an understanding of what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1: 5:13

But today's episode is about my baby girl. Her name was Takenya. It's Takenya, and how I got her name was I was actually asleep taking a nap got her name was I was actually asleep taking a nap. And that day my mom and I were talking about baby names and just kind of mulling things around, and if my mom had any say-so in the naming of my daughter, she would have had the longest name known to man and I was just not having it. One thing my mom said was don't give that child again on name. Like that was my mom.

Speaker 1: 5:49

But I remember dreaming and in my dream I was driving in a convertible going down this highway, which was odd because at the time I was not old enough to drive. Like I said, I was a young mom, I had my daughter, I, I was 16. I had a kid before I had a driver's license. Okay, so I was in my dream and I was driving down this highway and I looked up and I saw this billboard and on this billboard it had all of these lights around the billboard. It just illuminated the highway. It almost looked like a star in the sky, and on that billboard was my daughter's name. So I woke up, I wrote that name down, didn't tell anybody what her name was going to be, and that's what I named her the exact spelling, everything. And that's what I named her. And I truly believe that that was God telling me what to name my daughter, because the way that this child blessed my life I can't even put into words.

Speaker 1: 6:57

I'm really going to try to get through this without crying. I've already cried this morning and even though it's been 19 years you know, I always say grief has no time limit I grieved my daughter this morning. Grief has no time limit, but the way that I grieve today, 19 years later, is different than the way that I grieved the night that she passed away. So the tears are mixed with gratitude and sadness and anger, like it's all the things, but more so heavily on the gratitude, because I realized that for 13 years God allowed me to be this child's mother. He blessed me with such a beautiful gift. It's one of the best gifts he's given me outside of Jesus, jesus and Holy Spirit. So I'm so very thankful to have been her mother for 13 years on this earth and I don't take that lightly, y'all. If I cry, I'm sorry, not sorry, sorry, not sorry, sorry. That's my baby. So let me share with you the 13 things that I actually miss about her. And there's so many things that I miss about this child, but I'm just going to share 13 things that just popped up in my head this morning.

Speaker 1: 8:07

One thing her laugh. That my daughter had the most contagious laugh. Whenever she laughed I could not help but laugh myself because it was just. I can't even describe it. I wish I had a recording of her laugh. She's the reason why I keep a camera in somebody's face now. She's the reason why I keep video going, because those memories I don't have anymore. And let's be honest, the more that time passes, the more the sound wanes, the memory starts to fade and I hate that. But I miss her laugh because it was very contagious. I miss her smile. She had a smile that literally could light up a room. Even though I can see her smile through pictures and things, it's still different. It's different because she's not here, of course, and usually when she was smiling she would have that laugh, that laugh would be attached to it. So I definitely missed that y'all.

Speaker 1: 9:12

I said I was going to try. I was going to try. Sorry, not sorry, and I have no tissues in here, so we're just going to have to wing it. There's a paper towel, alright, we're going to use that, I don't know. Okay, we're just going to use that. All right, harder than me, and I just got my lashes done. Y'all, I practice what I preach. Y'all, I'm in the grief wave and I'm riding the wave because God is in control. I'm allowing myself to feel what I feel, I'm allowing these tears to flow and I'm keeping on trucking, telling you I practice what I preach. I don't sit here and just tell y'all this stuff. I live it. I live it every single day, all right.

Speaker 1: 9:51

Third thing that I miss about my child our inside jokes. We about my child, our inside jokes, we, people that knew us, people that knew my daughter, people that knew us. Together. We would have these inside jokes and we could be around somebody and just start laughing and nobody would have any idea what we're laughing about. But we would know, and it was just these things that would start at home, like she could say something or I could say something and we both would just fall out and it was just an inside joke. I miss that. I definitely miss that.

Speaker 1: 10:23

There was always a funny moment with her. I miss the way she would say mother. She would say mother to make me laugh when she knew she was in trouble. Now, no child is perfect. I'm not saying my child was perfect. She was a kid and so she tried it. She would try some things. I remember the time she forged my signature on a report card because her grades flipped and she signed her report card and I'm going to tell this story. She would probably like pinch me right now if she was still here. But she forged my signature on her report card.

Speaker 1: 11:04

And how I found out was I always kept up with the school schedule so I knew when progress reports were coming out, I knew when report cards were coming out, things like that, and I hadn't gotten her report card. So I was like what's going on? And so I tripped her up. I actually she kept saying that she didn't get it. She didn't get it and I you know, you know your kid, you know when your child is lying to you, you know. So I let her go on with the lie. What my child did not realize was that I had made friends at the school, which was intentional. I knew all her teachers. I knew the front office staff. I knew the secretary of the school, ms Truesdale. Shout out to Ms Truesdale wherever you are. Dear Ms Truesdale probably remembers this story.

Speaker 1: 11:48

I called Ms Truesdale directly and I say Ms Truesdale, I know y'all got these report cards, can you send it to me? She said but, ms Master, you signed it. You know we bought it, right Me and Ms Truesdale bought it. I said I did not sign a report card. Ms Truesdale pulled her report card. She said well, somebody did. And I said Ms Truesdale, can you fax that to me? Now? Keep in mind this is 2006. We still have fax machines. Okay, I said work. She faxed it to me.

Speaker 1: 12:22

This child had my report, my signature down so well, it almost looked like mine, except at the tail end of my last name. You could tell she got scared and she chickened out. I said this little heifer forged my signature. So of course I had to go with the bit. She was at school. I waited till she got home and I asked her again. I said can you raise your report card? And she again, she was riding with the life, but I could see she was cracking, she was riding with the life. I said I'm gonna ask you one more time and this time I want you to tell me the truth because I know that you're lying to me.

Speaker 1: 12:58

That child broke down and I saw her grades have fallen. So she was an A B student, she very, very smart, and I figured she had gotten, like me, where she was getting teased for making good grades. So once she did get in trouble for telling me that lie. But one thing she said was well, mother, I just didn't want you to be upset. And when she said mother, I had to turn my head and kind of chuckle, because she knew exactly what to say and when to say it, to make me laugh, to kind of break my defenses down.

Speaker 1: 13:40

But I knew I had to handle business. So every parent knows this when your child does something that's funny but you can't let them see you laugh. I had to do one of those, one of those offhand laughs, and so I let her, you know, rob the lies. I had to, you know. I let her, you know, rob the lot. I had to, you know, discipline her for what she did and had to explain to her.

Speaker 1: 14:02

You know, forging signatures. You know, little girl, I can put you in jail for this. You know I went extreme. I said I could put you in jail for this. Little girl, don't be, don't be forging somebody's signature, that is illegal. So I put the fear of God in her and took time off work and went up to the school and sat in the classroom.

Speaker 1: 14:18

Actually I talked to. It was her language arts slash English teacher. That was the grade that dropped. It went from an A to a D, like hold on. So you just stopped doing work. Why? Okay?

Speaker 1: 14:31

So I talked to her language arts teacher and he proceeds to tell me what was happening, what was going on things like that teacher. And he proceeds to tell me what was happening, what was going on things like that. He had been sending notes. He, finally, he had been sending notes to me and as we were talking he said he figured out that something was going on, that, that, but he couldn't put his finger on it. So he was glad that I had called him and so I said do you mind if I sit in the back of the classroom, cause I knew again, I knew her schedule, so I knew where she was supposed to be at what time. So I was sitting in the back of the classroom. When she walks in, she was cutting up when she walked in the door until she saw me and I didn't say a word. I just sat at the back of the classroom until the bell rang.

Speaker 1: 15:18

That child had no issues with her since then. Sometimes you just gotta let your kids know that you ain't the one or the two to be playing with, all right. So I had no issues from then on. Her grade came up. She actually made great grades from then on out until the day she left this earth. Let your child know you're a little off in the head sometimes. Don't do that, don't do that, don't listen to me, don't do that. But it was just the way that she would say, mother. That would always tickle me.

Speaker 1: 15:48

Another thing that I missed is us speaking in our own language. So my daughter created a language for us to speak that nobody else could understand, and she made me promise that I wouldn't teach it to anybody else. And I made her promise that she wouldn't teach it to anybody else. I'm like you're going to restrict me. You got to put this restriction on you too. So we would literally have our own language and people would look at us like what is wrong with you two? But she was very creative, like a mama, very creative. So we had our own little language.

Speaker 1: 16:17

I miss her corny jokes. She will tell the corny jokes excuse me, why am I sneezing right in the middle of podcast? Excuse me, and I'm not editing that out, all right. She would tell the corny as jokes and would have me cackling Some of the things. It would make no sense, but because she thought it was funny, she would laugh, which in turn would make me laugh. So she was hilarious.

Speaker 1: 16:49

I miss her telling me fun facts. Now, this child, remember I said she was smart, she would keep her head in a book and she would always be researching. She would always be Googling something or looking something up. She would be in encyclopedias and newspapers, like things like that, and just finding these random facts. And then we like mother, let me tell you about this, did you know? And whenever I would hear mother, did you know? And that's how she would do it she would tilt her little head like that, like, did you know? I knew it was about to be something. So I would have to sit and listen to her fun facts and I actually I feel bad about it now because sometimes those fun facts got on my nerves, because of course she would try to tell me a fun fact when I'm busy and try to do something. But now I would give my left arm just to hear her give me a fun fact. Yeah, I miss that. I miss having the mundane of the day interrupted to hear a fun fact. Did you know?

Speaker 1: 17:51

I miss her hugs. Oh my gosh, my baby girl could give some of the best hugs and she really enjoyed it when she got taller than me, because she would have to bend down. She would pat me on the top of my forehead, which I hated, but she enjoyed it so much I just allowed her to do it. She would pat me on my forehead like my little mommy and she would give me the best hug. I would have to remind her just because I'm shorter than you doesn't mean I won't whoop you Again. Let your child know you're a little off in the head. I'm sorry, don't listen to me. Don't listen to me, but I definitely miss her hug. She gave the best hugs.

Speaker 1: 18:34

I miss her homemade cards. It was like clockwork Birthdays, mother's Day, christmas, easter, whatever the holiday, just because that baby made me a card. She would make me a card. She would write poetry in it. She would say you know, my mommy is this dad of the third, like it was just affirmations in the cards. I have a box of her cards in here somewhere and every once in a while when I'm having a grief wave, I'll pull out a card just to read it and just remember her. But I miss her handmade cards and I feel like she would still be doing those even in her 30s. Definitely miss her handmade cards.

Speaker 1: 19:17

I miss us singing in the car. So y'all, we would have car karaoke. Before car karaoke was a thing we would be singing at the top of our lungs, off, key, on key. Whatever Funny thing about it was, my child would always make me sing, try to make me sing all three parts of a song because she wanted to learn all three parts. To make me sing all three parts of a song because she wanted to learn all three parts. But she would forget that I'm an alto, so yeah, or she would forget that I'm one person and me trying to sing all three parts at the same time. She always found a got a kick out of that. I have no idea why, but we would sing at the top of our lungs in the car and I still kind of carry on that tradition today. I sing at the top of my lungs in the car. I'll have a whole concert and every time I do it I think about her. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her.

Speaker 1: 20:06

I miss our conversations while doing hair. So either I'm doing her hair or before I chopped all mine off, I had the long hair, long-ish hair, and sometimes she would just grease my scalp or I would sit and be doing her hair for the day or the week or whatever, and we would just have these great conversations. Like I said, I would have this thing called open mic with her where she could ask me anything. She could tell me anything, and my reasoning for that is because I did not want her to feel like she couldn't come talk to me. But we had an understanding that I'm her mom. You know I'm her mother and I will try to not get upset. I couldn't guarantee it, but I one thing that I guaranteed her was that I would always love her. So no matter what she said, whatever she told me, if it did not harm her, put her in danger or someone else in danger. You know it would stay between us. So I love those conversations because I got to know her as a human being, outside of being my daughter. She got to know me as a woman and outside of her mother. So it gave us a little humanality, to us Humanality a word. It's going to be a word today. Another thing I missed about her is hearing her say I love you, mommy. That's one thing I wish I had on tape. I wish I had that recorded. Hearing her say I love you, mommy All right, moving on, moving on, and finally I said I miss hearing her voice. I miss hearing her voice. 'm going to leave it at that because again, I guess I'm not leaving it at that, but again, as time passes, as time moves forward, that leaves me, that memory leaves me, and it's just the nature of the game. So I would say this y'all, as uncomfortable as it may be, keep a camera, keep a camera around, keep a recording around, pick up those moments. I'm a firm believer in being in the moment, but I'm also a firm believer in capturing moments. It's a fine balance between those two If you have your parents. Sit down with them, ask them questions, get it on recording, get it on video, especially if you still have your grandparents around. Get those recipes. Sit down with Nana. Sit down with auntie, sit down with the family member that's always gathering and cooking and doing all that we're losing recipes. Sit down and get those recipes recorded. Sit down and ask. Ask your parents what you were like as a child. Ask your parents what they were like as children. Ask them about you know the way that the world is going right now, especially over here in the united states of america. They're trying to wipe out our history. Sit down with those parents that, those relatives that were in the civil rights movement, those relatives that were around. You know. I, um, I remember my mom telling me that she remembers her grandmother who was enslaved, who had to pick cotton, and I wish that we had those things on record, because those are the things that are being wiped out. That's just, it is what it is. But I would highly, highly, highly suggest and recommend, with their permission, of course and you don't have to post everything, y'all, everything is not meant for social media. There are some things that I have, like experiences with my friends and family that y'all will never see. They're just memories for me, and I'm glad that I have those things, because, again, those are some things that I wish that I had done with my daughter. And tell your people that you love them. Make them feel if they feel uncomfortable, that's all right. Make them feel uncomfortable. Tell them that you love them, because one thing, one thing that I wish I could go back and change, the day that my daughter passed was the last thing that I said to her. I still struggle with that. I don't struggle with it as much as I used to, but I still struggle with that, because the last thing I said to my daughter was no, she wanted to play games on my phone and I told her no, I actually told her to go outside and play. And I struggle with that because there's a part of me that's like if I hadn't told her to go outside and play, would she still be with me? And I know that that's not something that I could have predicted or anyone could have predicted or anyone could have changed, because I truly believe that everything was orchestrated the way that it was, because that's how it was supposed to be, but I'm human and so, like I said, I don't struggle with it as much as I used to, but it still lingers. You know, I think about that. I think about the last word to my child was no, when I wished the last words to my daughter, what she could hear audibly and I could see, you know, see that exchange was her saying her hearing me say to her I love her. Now I did get moments after she passed. I had a long time with her where I did say I love you, where I did say I love you. But I would give anything right now to be able to say that again. So, yeah, this is a somber episode. Y'all I tried to tell you, and you only got to do it once a year, you only got to hear it once a year. I'm not coming back on here on her birthday to do the same thing, not coming back on here Easter to do the same thing. I'm not coming back on here Mother's Day to do the same thing. But I just wanted to share some things about my child that made her special, very special, and I truly believe she had an impact on this world because the way that her homegoing service was filled with standing room only, and I remember the stories that her classmates told about her. I still have the letters and the cards and the notes that these young people well, they're grownups, now they're adults. A lot of my babies are married and have their own kids. I remember the stories that they told and I was taken aback because I was like my baby Just the impact that she had on people's lives. One of my sons mentioned today that he missed her competitive spirit. And one thing about my child she was an athlete. I don't know where she got that from because it wasn't from me, but she was a track star. She played basketball. I have one of her trophies sitting over here now her basketball trophies. I have one of her trophies sitting over here now her basketball trophies. But she very competitive. My child would play with the boys Like she would be playing basketball with the boys and tan them up. She will be tearing them up and so she was fierce on the highway that said Chapel Hill. This way, she knew that we were going to the campus and at the time, um, the Lady Tar Heels were in the NCAA. Well, both the guys and the ladies were in the NCAA tournament, and so the Lady Tar Heels were not on campus. I had wished that she had had an opportunity to meet Ivory Latta. Ivory Latta was her favorite player, dawn Staley, coach Staley of the Gamecocks her favorite player but they were busy so she didn't get to meet them. But we did get to go through the. We did get to go on the basketball court, we did get to walk through the campus. I have pictures of her on campus that I cherish and that was the last gift that I was able to give to her, and to see her smile was special, still special to me. I carry that picture with me and, ironically, she still ended up on Chapel Hill's campus because we had to do an autopsy. I'm not going to go into the details of that, but her blood and tissue samples were sent to Chapel Hill because we had to do an autopsy and the autopsy was inconclusive. So when the autopsy was inconclusive and the medical examiner said to me, there is no medical reason why this young lady is not alive, I knew it was God. I knew it was God and at that moment I was just like okay, god, what are you doing? What are you doing? But I'll share that story for a later time. Everybody keeps telling me I need to write a book about that day and it's just been hard to do. But I do have journal entries, so I don't have to begrudgingly go through all these memories and things like that. But I'll write the book one day because it truly does show God's hand moving in all of this and I don't know why he picked me, but he did and I'm thankful. I'm thankful even though I went through a period where I was like hey, yo, yo, yo, this ain't cool, this ain't cool, I don't like this. Yeah, and I've shared many times. You know I was angry with God, I wouldn't pray, I wouldn't do none of that. So, ironically, here we are. Um, how did I get to living my empowered life? Actually, my daughter named my company, my get to living my empowered life. Actually, my daughter named my company, my daughter named living my empowered life when we were preparing for her homegoing service. One thing that I wanted I wanted her life to be celebrated and I wanted God to be edified. I wanted a celebration for real, and so I stated there was to be no black. You know, nobody wearing black. Everybody wear Carolina blue in honor of her, in honor of the Tar Heels, her favorite team, her favorite school and I wanted a joyous occasion. So I had her Bible. It was one thing my daughter did. I couldn't give my daughter a lot of material things, but I gave her Jesus. Okay, I gave her Jesus. My baby got baptized on her own. She read her words, she worshiped she. You know, hey, I want in parenting, okay, so, um, I had her Bible and she would read her Bible every day. Um, she would pray One of her prayers God, thank you for the birds that sing. And so whenever I hear the birds sing, I say that prayer in honor of her. But in her Bible I was flipping through the pages and she was just like me. She had notes all through her Bible in the margins, like I could. Now, I'm not going to show you her Bible, that's private, I'm going to keep that close to me but there are notes in the margins, in the scene of the Bible, like notes everywhere, sticky notes. That child was studying, but I came across a prayer that she had written for me. In that prayer, what was the scripture? Oh, it was 2 Timothy God has not given you a spirit of fear, but a power, love and a sound mind. My daughter, as much as I tried to shield her from a lot of things. She was very intuitive, so she picked up on some things and so she knew that in that season I was going through a lot and doing my best, my absolute best, but she could see that there was fear holding me. So that scripture she wrote in the margins dear God, I want my mom please help my mom live an empowered life, the empowered life that she deserves. I read that and I broke because for me that was powerful, that my daughter thought enough of me to pray and ask God to show me how to live empowered. She was special. She was special. So I say that to say this to you parents out there your kids ain't dumb. Okay, we can try to hide and shield as much as we want to from these kids. They're very smart, especially now. They have more access to things that my daughter even had. They have more access. They have more access to things that my daughter even had. They have more access. They have more freedoms. Protect them, but also be real with them. Be real to the point where, in a in a sense, where they can understand it. Like you don't have to have adult conversations with kids. You know. You know your child's maturity level, have a conversation on their level and allow them to ask questions. Now I'm not trying to give parenting advice, I'm just giving you some Tracy-isms. I'm glad that I took that approach because of how I got to see my daughter's life impact others, and for that I'm thankful. So, yeah, she's the reason why we have living my empowered life. Losing her is the reason why I became a grief coach and, honestly, she's still the reason why I keep pressing forward, because I think about how impactful her life was and I want to continue that legacy. So, as long as I have breath in my body, I'm going to be impacting people. So, yeah, that's that, all right, I don't cry enough, y'all. Like I said, I just got my lashes done. I am not trying to lose these bad boys, okay. And then, looking at this backwards mirror, honey, I don't know. Oh Jesus, okay, let me get off here, let me get to getting. But thank you for allowing me to share some memories of my baby girl. And to those of you who will watch this, hear this and decide to leave a comment or reach out to me, thank you in advance. I appreciate all the encouraging words To those of you who saw my socials and reached out to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Like I said, grief has no time limit, but how you grieve should change. So I'm going to be all right, y'all. I'm having a moment, I'm having a grief wave and I'm allowed to, and you are too, so I hope that this has blessed you, helped you in some kind of way. Like I said, sorry, not sorry for crying, it is what it is, but next episode will be a little bit more lighter, y'all, I think I'm going to tell y'all about this family cruise that's just going on, so stay tuned. Anyway, y'all, thank you for joining me and I hope that you join us again for the next episode of Charge Station Podcast. I love you, I love you, I love you. Remember, god loves you, I love you. There ain't nothing you can do about it. Boo Bye.