"A Comedy of Realities" Morning has come, and Kathryn Elizabeth and Dedai are still missing. Jack goes looking for the girls on Baby Beach. Stating anything more would require spoilers, so we'll leave it with this teaser: there are two weddings and two deaths in this final installment of Pilgrim.
"A Comedy of Realities" Morning has come, and Kathryn Elizabeth and Dedai are still missing. Jack goes looking for the girls on Baby Beach. Stating anything more would require spoilers, so we'll leave it with this teaser: there are two weddings and two deaths in this final installment of Pilgrim.
SCENE I.
Baby Beach. Early morning. A dense fog upon the sands. The beach has no waves, only a little gentle lapping of water. DEDAI is on the beach, sleeping in the sand. KATHERINE ELIZABETH's tricorne hat rests upon the sand, a foot in front of the child. JACK enters, then walks along the stage until he reaches DEDAI. He takes his coat off, sits down, and then picks DEDAI up to a standing position and places his coat around her.
JACK
You’re cold, Dedai.
JACK rubs DEDAI, so as to get her warm.
JACK
It’s dangerous for a little girl to be this cold. It’s not good for you.
DEDAI is not responsive.
JACK
We need to get you back to the ship. Okay?
DEDAI stares out into the distance. She reaches into the coat pocket and pulls out a pelican figurine.
JACK
You can keep that.
DEDAI points to the harbor.
JACK
She didn’t make it. Did she?
DEDAI points once more to the harbor.
JACK
When I know, I know. Kathryn Elizabeth, I noticed you. By my faith, I noticed you.
JACK picks DEDAI up into his arms. As he lifts her, the pelican figurine drops into the sand, near the tricorne hat. JACK doesn’t notice that the figurine has fallen. He begins walking towards the stage right exit.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH (offstage)
Jack!
JACK turns back. KATHRYN ELIZABETH is nowhere to be seen.
JACK
Is the ocean speaking to me? It’s been a good several years hasn’t it? Don’t worry, it won’t be much longer now, till you’ll have me back, to churn me into sand and hoard me in your gulches.
JACK exits
KATHERINE ELIZABETH (offstage)
Jack!
JACK enters once again
JACK
You want a taste?
JACK removes his shoes and socks. He steps towards the front of the stage, and a splashing sound is heard, and it is implied that he has put his feet into the water.
JACK
You’re cold today. Yours isn’t a relaxing chill, always a bitter sapping with you. There was a warmth, something refreshing, to the one you took for yourself this morning, you’ve taken her into your own rot, and here you call for me, you speak to me with her sound. The gall. It’s easy to have gall when you’ve no goods and chattel, no consequence. My feet turn to white, like bone, bloodless. Look at you. I’d expect nothing less. Bye, for now. Bye. I bid you good morning, kind ocean, and the rest of your day, a good day to you.
Enter KATHERINE ELIZABETH, tiptoeing out from stage left. She covers her breasts and genitals with kelp that she’s collected along the beach. More ulcers are visible now that she is wearing less clothing. She is missing three fingers from her right hand, with only the thumb and index remaining completely intact. JACK turns around and sees her approaching.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Don’t look! The trench coat was pulling me down. I had to ditch it. I refuse to go out the way Polonius’ daughter did, pulled under by water. Avert your eyes!
JACK looks away from KATHRYN ELIZABETH. JACK places DEDAI on the beach, removes his coat from around the child and then throws it behind him, towards KATHRYN ELIZABETH’s feet. JACK hugs DEDAI to keep her warm.
JACK
I can’t look?
KATHRYN ELIZABETH picks up the coat and wears it over the kelp.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
When we’re married you can look.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH pulls the coat tight and then brushes the kelp down onto the beach.
JACK
(examining her hand)
We need to get you to a hospital.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
There’s no time for hospitals. Just do what you must… to buy me a few hours. Do you have anything for the pain?
JACK
I can get you pain meds at the hospital.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
I’d rather be in pain than dead. We’re getting married, my lady, and make it before 12 noon.
JACK
A girl in a caul of water, and one of us will be dead… Ha! Hogwash, you called it earlier. Hogwash, you called it last night.
KATHERINE ELIZABETH
A prince doesn’t push his luck, lady.
JACK
And you’re clearly not in the right mindset to be getting married.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Oh, you’re fine with putting it off, now that you’re not the one who’s dying.
JACK
Is that why you were fine with postponing it last night? Huh. Well, as long as we can both agree now that it’s most likely to be you, not I, who will be dying.
JACK kisses her.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Are you ready to return to the ship, my lady?
JACK
Let’s get going. We need to get Dedai warmed up. I also want to check that wound on your head. I don’t know if you’re cognizant of this, but you keep calling me lady.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Well, Jack. I’ll call you lady until we’re married.
JACK
As long as it stops.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH (sincere)
Only then will I call you “Princess.”
JACK (concerned)
Oh… there’s proof enough. I’m scheduling you for imaging.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Relax, Jack. It’s a character I devised last night with Li. I was supposed to be done reaching for the stars by now.
JACK (playing along)
The world fell apart a long time ago, my prince. All we have left now is sand. Sand above water, and sand below water. The world falls apart every day. The people need you to keep reaching.
KATHERINE ELIZABETH
You reach for the stars once and you get a harpoon spear.
JACK
Are you sure you’re not mad?
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
I could never be sure.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH and JACK turn, and begin walking towards stage right.
JACK
Do me a favor. No more playing around as this prince character, at least until noontide. If the prince doesn’t come out any more this morning, then it proves you're sane.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Does that prove it? Well. Deal.
JACK
Deal?
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Fine. Deal. No more acting.
JACK, KATHRYN ELIZABETH, and DEDAI approach the stage right exit. JACK runs out of breath and begins to lag behind.
JACK
Get yourselves to the ship.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
We can wait for you, Jack.
JACK
No. Go.
Exit KATHRYN ELIZABETH and DEDAI.
JACK
(yelling after them)
Get Dedai wrapped in a thick blanket! Warm yourself! Get yourself to the ship.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH (offstage)
Get yourself to a nunnery.
JACK
A what?
A few moments pass. JACK lifts his head, and looks down at his feet, which are now being touched by the water as the tide rises.
JACK
Is her hand still losing blood? Is the ocean still lapping? Nothing may survive and linger on forever, not even your own beauty there, playing about my feet, turning my toes white again. Nothing at all. So all we can do is pluck up the courage and pray for, ah, what dare we pray for? (short pause) All that we can really dare to say is: may it last a little longer; may it last as long as it may.
The ocean continues to lap. JACK stands up and exits. The pelican figurine and Tricorne hat remain upon the sand. The ocean continues to lap.
SCENE II.
The wedding ceremony, upon the deck of the Brig Pilgrim. DAN and NADIA are dressed in formal wedding attire: DAN in a tuxedo, and NADIA in an elegant dress. JACK wears the outfit from the night before, minus the coat. His shirt is stained in blood, and has sand all over it. KATHRYN ELIZABETH wears Jack’s coat, and the sailor moon costume underneath it. JOHN DAVIES, serving as the officiant, is dressed in a tuxedo. The deck is adorned with expensive flower arrangements, and the two masts of the Brig Pilgrim are wrapped in garlands. LI stands on her own, downstage-right, almost near the stage exit, and watches the wedding ceremony from afar. The remaining guests are seated in white fold-out chairs, where they listen attentively to JOHN DAVIES as he delivers his speech.
DAVIES (no longer PROOMPT)
The kernel of a play, is the word. The word combines with other words to make scenes and scenes acts, the acts a play, and then actors like myself come along to perform these acts for the audience’s entertainment. In life, the kernel is the family. It all starts with the husband and his wife, and they raise a family. Families build towns, and then towns give rise to cities, and so forth, until you have countries and a global community of fathers and mothers, and their families. This ceremony is a tribute to the families of tomorrow. May we perform our familial roles, just as well or better, than the brides and grooms that raised their families before us, where we once played the roles of sons and daughters. The same, or a little bit better; nothing more. Each successive generation, the same or a little bit better. I have confidence that the couples here before me will live up to this benchmark. I give you my heartfelt blessing, and my wishes for success wherever you may find it. With my part said, this ceremony now comes to a close. You are hereby bound in matrimony, Mr. and Mrs. Kernigan, and congratulations to the two of you as well (he indicates KATHRYN ELIZABETH and JACK). May I present to you, Captain Maddox. Ladies and gentlemen: The Brig Pilgrim! Awaketh!
Enter PONC, who stands before the main mast. Enter the CREW OF PROFESSIONAL SAILORS, alongside PONC.
MADDOX (aloud)
Stand by to set sails!
The CREW OF PROFESSIONAL SAILORS congregate at the bases of the two masts, evenly distributed in their numbers. Enter STAMO, from the back of the ship, along with his own CREW OF PROFESSIONAL SAILORS. They walk across the deck, and exit stage left, to where the jib sail would be.
STAMO (offstage)
Jib ready!
PONC (to MADDOX)
We’re short one Mast Captain, sir.
MADDOX
Who’s missing?
PONC
The new guy.
MADDOX
Then you play both parts.
PONC
Okay, I’ll be Ponc and Cricket, and I’ll get payed for Ponc, and Ponc only; it goes without saying.
MADDOX
With the money the bridegroom is paying… I’ll get you double.
PONC
I love you captain. I do. We can make this marriage triple. Main sail, stand ready to go aloft.
PONC
(as CRICKET, in a high-pitched voice)
Cricket here… Foresail, stand by to go aloft.
STAMO (offstage)
Jib sail ready to loose!
MADDOX
Sailors, aloft!
PONC (as himself)
Sailors aloft the main sail!
The CREW OF PROFESSIONAL SAILORS begins to climb the main mast, via the main mast ladders.
PONC
(as CRICKET, in a high-pitched voice)
Sailors aloft the foresail!
The CREW OF PROFESSIONAL SAILORS begin to climb the foremast, via the foremast ladders. DAVIES crosses the deck and approaches LI.
DAVIES
Did you ever find that shark?
LI
There wasn’t a shark, after all.
DAVIES
Odd.
LI
Can I help you?
DAVIES
How’s your chest?
LI
It’s at ease now.
DAVIES
We botched the stunt.
LI
You botched it.
DAVIES
I botched it.
LI
Professional hazard. Sometimes a girl will lose a nipple.
DAVIES
And it wasn’t a shark?
LI
Not at all. The species identification came back this morning.
PROOMPT
The girl was so sure it was a shark.
LI
Kathryn Elizabeth really is a gem, the poor thing, but she’s just not very good at what she does.
DAVIES
Can I interest you in a morning cap?
LI
You mean, below deck?
DAVIES
I’ve enough booze down there to last us fourteen months.
LI
I don’t think so.
LI begins to walk away
DAVIES (as PROOMPT)
Go, then! Rid yourself from this brig you sex-plagued besotter of decent men…
LI turns back, aroused
DAVIES (as PROOMPT)
Or be prepared to suffer the punishment: twenty-five spanks upon the nymph’s naked bottom.
LI grabs DAVIES by the hand and drags him along with her. Exit LI and DAVIES stage center, down the stairs.
MADDOX
Prepare for tacking!
PONC (as himself)
Main sail ready, sailors hands on ropes!
PONC
(as CRICKET, in a high-pitched voice)
Foresail ready, sailors hands on ropes!
STAMO (offstage)
Jib standing by!
MADDOX
Cricket, Ponc, commence tacking!
PONC
(as CRICKET, in a high-pitched voice)
Foresail, raise the mainsail, trim the topsail.
PONC (as himself)
Main sail, trim the mainsail, loose the topsail.
PONC
(as CRICKET, in a high-pitched voice)
Let’s go, let’s go. Foresail loose the topsail, trim the mainsail.
STAMO (offstage)
Other way around, Ponc!
PONC (as himself)
Main sail: trim the topsail.
MADDOX
Ponc, you’re switching your lines!
JACK
The topsails are jumping up and down.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
This is terrible. The amount of money Dan probably payed for this.
JACK
Oh, he loves it, look at him over there, smiling like a baby under a rattle.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
The spirit of the Pilgrim has awakened. The topsails must know what comes after the wedding ceremony.
JACK
Debride, clean, suture your hand.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Suddenly the topsails have fallen flat again. Some say the marriage isn’t finalized until the hymen breaks.
JACK
Your hymen’s broken.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
I still need my husband to break into my body with his hymen-breaker.
JACK (lusting)
Let’s go now.
Exit JACK and KATHRYN ELIZABETH
MADDOX
Prepare to reeve in topsails!
NADIA
Do you think we’ll last until death, Dan? That seems like such a long time.
Unexpectedly, a man falls from high above and splatters onto the deck.
DAN
We should get out of here too.
NADIA
Is that man dead?
Exit DAN and NADIA. A loud banging sound is heard, coming from beneath the deck. DAVIES runs out in a pair of striped boxers, carrying the harpoon. LI follows, in her panties, covering her breasts with a handful of clothes.
DAVIES
Abandon ship! We’re taking in water! Everyone off! Make haste!
PONC approaches MADDOX.
PONC
Stamo is dead, Captain. The sailor who fell, he’s dead too. But, I wouldn’t look at ‘em.
MADDOX (traumatized)
Good God! (to DAVIES) What the hell is going on? Are we really taking in water, Davies? Tell me this is part of your bloody act!
DAVIES
There’s the passion!
MADDOX
Is it, Davies? Please tell me, it’s just part of the act.
DAVIES
Oh no, the ship is tilting starboard on its keel.
MADDOX
My god. It is, isn’t it?
DAVIES
She was a beautiful ship, wasn’t she?
DAVIES drops the harpoon and takes a rest.
MADDOX
What the hell is that thing?
DAVIES
A piece of machinery I borrowed from a whaling museum in Nantucket. The prop added something essential to the act. Not only verisimilitude, but something even more important: immediacy!
Exit MADDOX, stage right, with PONC, in a hurry.
LI
Well, that was fun.
DAVIES
How do I see you again?
LI
You won’t.
DAVIES
I’ll see you at the reception, right?
LI
I have a flight to catch. I leave for Beijing in an hour.
DAVIES
When you say you’re leaving for Beijing, do you really mean it?
LI
I’m not an actress. I don’t have to pretend like you do.
DAVIES
And do you mean it, when you say you’re not an actress?
LI
If I am an actress, then I don’t break character as easily as you do.
DAVIES smiles.
DAVIES
If I’m ever in Beijing…
LI
If John Davies is ever in Beijing, I think I’ll know. Are you interested in Beijing Opera?
DAVIES
I’m always up for a challenge. John Davies as: “The Monkey King.”
LI (laughing)
I’ll tell the Chairman to lock up his peaches.
DAVIES
He better! And his women too.
LI
I’ll be waiting for someone to come along and steal me away.
DAVIES
I’ll call my agent now!
Exit DAVIES and LI. Enter DAN. DAN looks over to stage left, as if something has caught his eye. Exit DAN, stage left.
DAN (offstage)
Hey man, you alright?
DAN quickly returns to the stage. Exit DAN, down the stairs.
DAN (exiting)
Dear lord, please accept that man’s soul into your house on high. (offstage) The other guy too, though I know him not, Lord.
Enter DAN, up the stairs, with DEDAI, who is wrapped in a blanket. AIDO is with them as well. DEDAI carries a lollipop.
DAN
What were you doing in there with Dedai? Huh, Aido? You guys weren’t kissing, were you?
AIDO
She kissed me, on the lips!
DEDAI
No I didn’t! You’re ugly.
DAN
Now, Aido, look, you’re not gonna get very far in life if you just volunteer information like that when there’s no benefit at all to you yourself.
DEDAI
My dad has a great ass.
AIDO
My dad has a great ass.
DAN
What did I just say?
Exit DAN, DEDAI, and AIDO. The two masts of the Brig Pilgrim tilt further towards starboard. Enter KATHRYN ELIZABETH, from stage right, wearing the Sailor Moon cosplay outfit. She makes her way towards the stairs at stage center.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Dedai! Dedai, I came as soon as I saw. (a loud creaking noise is heard, and KATHRYN ELIZABETH jumps to her feet) Oh god, don’t die in cosplay, don’t die in cosplay.
Exit KATHRYN ELIZABETH, down the stairs
KATHRYN ELIZABETH (offstage)
Dedai!
Enter KATHRYN ELIZABETH, up the stairs
KATHRYN ELIZABETH (relieved)
She’s not here. Oh, thank god!
The ship jolts towards stage rear, and KATHRYN ELIZABETH screams in shock. KATHRYN ELIZABETH crawls down to the starboard railing, stage rear. KATHRYN ELIZABETH looks up, and notices that the foremast is tilting. She seems distressed and saddened by the sight.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH
Oh, that’s so sad, Pilgrim. You can’t really be sinking, can you? I used to come here all the time with my father. You’re what makes this harbor magical. Even if you’re just a replica, you filled this harbor with your story. Where will your spirit go, good sir, now that there’s no replica to bind you here above the water? Back to where your original sank, off the coast of the Carolinas? Perhaps we’ll find you down there. I promise you, Pilgrim, I’ll come and visit you someday. In the meantime, if you ever get lonely down there, know that you’re in my heart. The past is still alive in some of us.
(reciting the “Late Modern English translation" of Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” soliloquy)
To remain alive, or not to remain alive, that’s the essential question at stake here. The sailors don’t know these words, do they? How’s the original?
(reciting the original)
To be or not to be?
(to the mast)
You know it?
(improvised)
To remain awake, or not to remain awake. To waken into the new dream, and to learn, perchance, to see all the splendid beauty, here amongst the rot.
(to the mast, playful)
Goodnight, Pilgrim. Sweet dreams, Pilgrim. Good night, for now.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH walks along the railing, and then, the ship, collapsing under its own weight, jilts, and tosses her off stage rear, over the starboard railing of the ship.
KATHRYN ELIZABETH (falling, offstage)
The harbor!
A loud splash is heard, followed by the sound of someone swimming away. The two masts of the Brig Pilgrim come crashing down onto the stage, and the sound reverberates throughout the theater.