Kink, Fetish & Forbidden Pleasure
Welcome to Dr. Sex Fairy, America’s top sexuality podcast. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America’s favorite sex doctor, and I am here to transform your life. Today’s episode is part of our new series called Six Minutes On Sex where I discuss some great topics, but make it quick. Tune in, get some important facts and tools to enhance your life, and get on with your day!
Today we will delve into the fascinating world of fetish and kink. They are often misunderstood to be one and the same thing, but they are not. I am going to explore their definitions, the common types of fetish and kink, their popularity, and which countries seem to have the most fetishes!
Let's start by understanding what a fetish is. In psychological terms, a fetish refers to a form of sexual desire that involves an erotic attachment to an inanimate object or a part of the human body that is not ordinarily considered sexual. Back in the day 'fetish' was viewed as a charm believed to possess magical or spiritual powers.
Now, let's distinguish between a fetish and a kink. While often used interchangeably, they have distinct meanings. As I just mentioned, a fetish is a specific type of sexual attraction where pleasure is primarily or exclusively derived from a non-genital body part or an inanimate object. It is necessary for sexual arousal and gratification. A kink, however, refers to a range of unconventional sexual interests, preferences, or practices, like BDSM, role-playing, or other erotic activities. Unlike a fetish, a kink is not essential for sexual satisfaction but is more about exploration and enhancing sexual experience.
A fetish is usually necessary for sexual arousal, whereas a kink is more about preference. Fetishes are often very specific, whereas kinks can be broader. A fetish can be a critical part of one's sexual identity, while kinks may not have such a profound impact. I wondered how common fetishes and kinks are in today's day and age, and the research was quite interesting.
Foot Fetish or Podophilia is one of the most widespread fetishes, with studies suggesting that about 1 in 7 people have fantasized about feet in a sexual way. Foot fetish is one of the most Googled fetish terms worldwide. There are entire accounts dedicated to feet on Instagram and Only Fans. There are entire websites like feetfinder.com.
Even Hollywood actors have openly discussed their love of feet. Idris Elba and Kate Winslet discussed filming their sex scene in the movie The Mountain Between Us on BBC’s The Graham Norton Show. Kate Winslet joked about his foot fetish and he chimed in, “I’ve just got a bit of a thing.” Kate Winslet continued, “We got naked but Idris asked me to keep my socks on – I thought he didn’t like feet but, it is the opposite, Idris loves feet!’
Another very common fetish is BDSM which stands for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism. It encompasses quite a range of practices and it appears that 42% of Americans have tried it at least once. But where does the US stand when it comes to the most kinky countries? It actually comes in at #3. #2 is Brazil with 43% saying that they have tried BDSM. #1 is Germany with 47% admitting to trying BDSM.
Group sex, including threesomes and orgies, are fantasized about by approximately 21% of women and 42% of men. Masochism, or deriving pleasure from receiving pain, is relatively common, with 15-28% of people having masochistic fantasies and 18.8% engaging in such behaviors. Women report higher rates of both masochistic fantasies and behaviors than men. Sadism, or pleasure from causing pain to someone else, is fairly common too. Just think about the cult classic movie 50 Shades of Grey.
Specific materials like latex or leather are particularly arousing for some individuals. About 12% to 14% of people report having a fetish related to clothing or materials.
The prevalence of certain fetishes varies by region. For instance, in some U.S. states, fetishes like voyeurism or wax play are more common than in others. Some states are bigger on masochism. My state of Florida appears to be fairly big on piercings. Men are generally more likely to report certain fetishes, such as voyeurism compared to women. Do men have more fetishes and kinks, or are women simply not talking about them?
The rise of the internet has significantly impacted the visibility and acceptance of various fetishes. Online platforms have enabled people with specific interests to connect, share experiences, and feel less isolated. This virtual community-building has played a crucial role in normalizing and understanding fetishes as a part of human sexuality.
Keep these ideas in mind and experiment with what works best for you. You may or may not want to keep it kinky, but make sure you keep it sexy.
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