Ep. 149: Life, Love & Lust After Breast Cancer

Breast cancer changes everything, but survival is just the beginning. This conversation isn’t just for survivors—it is for everyone. Whether you are a partner, a caregiver, or are just curious, we will talk about how cancer impacts relationships, sex, and self-image, and the steps we can take to heal. From dealing with chemotherap, radiation, mastectomy and other surgeries, hair loss and body changes to finally finding yourself and reconnecting with your sexuality, this episode is all about thriving after cancer, not just surviving.

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Transcript

Life, Love, & Lust After Breast Cancer

Welcome to America’s top sexuality podcast, Dr. Sex Fairy. I am Dr. Kanwal Bawa, America’s favorite sex doctor, and I am here to transform your life. Let me start today's episode about life, love and lust after breast cancer with two shocking facts. Men can get breast cancer and black men are more likely to die from it. So whether you are a man or a woman, a breast cancer survivor, a caregiver, a partner, or simply someone curious about how cancer affects intimacy and relationships, this episode is for you. 

Let me tell you, this is one of the most important conversations we can have on the Dr. Sex Fairy Podcast, and it impacts far more people than you might think. We are going to talk about the life-altering effects of breast cancer on the body, mind, and relationships, and we are going to discuss how you can come out of this not just as a survivor, but as a thriver. And if someone you know or love is impacted by it, you should share this episode with them so that their story doesn’t end like that of a typical cancer patient.

In today’s episode, we will divide our time into two parts. First, we will explore all that goes wrong. We will talk about the physical, emotional, and sexual toll that breast cancer and its treatments can take on a person. In the second part, we will talk about the solutions, the steps you can take to reclaim your body, your confidence, and your sense of self. Whether you are battling cancer, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand more, I encourage you to keep listening—because this episode is about reclaiming the life and love that cancer tries to steal from so many around the world.

I want to start by sharing my own story. I am not only a doctor who has dedicated her life to transforming the lives of others, I am also a breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed, I faced the same fears and uncertainties that so many do. I went through endless invasive testing, surgeries, chemotherapy, and more. As for recovery, my God… I don’t know that one is ever really done with that. 

My breast cancer story is truly a cautionary tale. I often talk about how I found the lump 3 1/2 years prior to my official diagnosis. I went to my doctor and he promptly blew me off saying that he didn't feel it and that I was too young for it anyway. I insisted on being tested but he said that I didn't meet the guidelines for insurance to cover a mammogram. Honestly, it was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. 

I was going through a lot at the time and somehow managed to get bullied by him. However, I knew that I wasn’t crazy. I insisted on getting a script for a mammogram which he gave me a few months later. My mammogram did show the lump but the radiologist read it as benign.  I asked my doctor why he wasn't ordering a biopsy and he said that it simply wasn't necessary. I went back again and asked for a mammogram the next year. It was read as benign again. This madness continued for three and a half years till I went to a different hospital. Looking back, I should never have let it go that long but I trusted my doctors. 

This mistake almost killed me. What could have been an easy lumpectomy ended up being months of chemotherapy followed by a mastectomy and multiple other surgeries. When I was finally diagnosed, I now had two lumps not one and they were huge. I was angry. This should not have happened to me. But while there was some level of fear about the future, I decided very early on that cancer was not going to define me and it certainly wasn't going to dictate how I felt about myself.

I decided to enter the Ms. Florida competition and walked on stage just a month after my mastectomy. I couldn't bend down and buckle my sandals, so my son did. I couldn't reach behind my back to zip up my gown, so my best friend did. At no point did I even consider not running. And at no point did I consider wearing a wig. This was not because I think there is anything wrong with a wig if there is hair loss. It was because I managed to save at least some semblance of hair due to my treatments at my medical practice Bawa Medical in Boca Raton, Florida. It was also because I wanted to tell my story as a cancer patient. 

It was a way for me to show myself and the world that beauty and life don’t end with cancer. I walked on stage that night with my head held high, at my heaviest weight and with the least amount of hair I have ever had, in a gown that didn't fit properly because I went to my fittings with drains in and with my scars clearly visible. To top it all, I had zero pageant experience and training. And still I won the title of Ms. Florida 2021 that night, at age 43 having competed against women two decades younger.

Winning that title was never about a crown. It was about changing the conversation around cancer. My cancer doctor was interviewed by a news channel. She said that my victory changed the concept of beauty after breast cancer, and for that I am grateful.

I have made it my mission to help others, especially cancer survivors, turn their life around. So, let’s begin by talking about what goes wrong, and why so many survivors struggle with their bodies, their relationships and their self-confidence after cancer. Breast cancer, and the treatments that fight it, impact the body in profound ways. While these treatments save lives, they also come with side effects that can feel overwhelming. Let’s talk about some of the key physical, emotional, and sexual challenges that many survivors face.

Chemotherapy is one of the first lines of defense against breast cancer, and while it attacks cancer cells, it also causes collateral damage. One of the most visible effects is hair loss. For many women, losing their hair is more than just a cosmetic issue—it feels like losing part of their identity. Hair loss can strip away the sense of control we have over our bodies, making cancer all the more real. 

When I had cancer, I managed to save a lot of hair on my head, but I had no eyebrows or eyelashes left. I didn't even look like myself anymore. But it didn’t end there. Fatigue, nausea, and neuropathy (which is nerve damage that causes pain and numbness) are also common side effects of chemotherapy that I experienced. Even after treatment ends, the body may feel weak, and everyday tasks can become a struggle, and all of this happened to me too. 

Radiation, while highly targeted, can lead to skin damage. It can burn and scar the skin, leaving sensitive areas that may never fully heal. The skin often becomes dry and discolored, which can be a constant reminder of the battle you’ve faced. In addition, many survivors experience weight gain and I gained around 50 lbs before it was all said and done. 

This is particularly true if these cancer patients are on hormone therapy like tamoxifen or aromatase inhibitors. These treatments reduce estrogen to prevent cancer from coming back, but they also slow metabolism, leading to frustrating weight gain that can feel impossible to control. As you can imagine, the physical toll of cancer can leave survivors feeling disconnected from their bodies, and just like me, unable to recognize the person they see in the mirror. 

But cancer treatments don’t just change how you look; they can also profoundly impact your sexuality. Many women find themselves thrown into menopause overnight experiencing many vaginal side effects as well. Hormone therapy, which is a key part of treatment for many breast cancer patients, can cause vaginal dryness, painful sex, and loss of libido. 

With estrogen levels depleted, the vaginal tissues become thinner, less elastic, and very dry. Intimacy, which was once a source of pleasure, can become uncomfortable or even painful. In addition, many breast survivors struggle with a complete lack of desire. The hormonal shifts, coupled with the emotional toll of cancer, can leave you feeling completely separated from your sexual self. Orgasms may become more difficult to achieve, or less satisfying when they do happen. 

And cancer doesn’t just hurt your body; it affects your mind. Survivors often face depression, anxiety, and a deep-seated fear of recurrence. Even after the physical fight is over, the emotional battle continues. The scars, both visible and hidden, can leave survivors feeling isolated, and cut off from their loved ones, and unsure of how to move forward.

This emotional weight can strain all your relationships, not just your sexual and romantic connection with your partner. Your friends may want to help you, but you may not want them in your space. You may find yourself snapping at children or other family members. Intimate partners often don’t know how to navigate the changes cancer brings to intimacy, and may blame themselves for your inability to orgasm, and you, on the other hand, may feel guilty or ashamed for the way your body has changed. The sense of loss - of your former self, your breasts, your confidence - can be overwhelming.

Now that we’ve discussed what can go wrong, let’s talk about how to fix it. Because here’s the truth: cancer may change your body, but it doesn’t get to define your future. You can reclaim what cancer has tried to take, and you can thrive—emotionally, physically, and sexually.

If you’ve lost your hair to chemotherapy, know that there are ways to get it back. At Bawa Medical, we use PRFM (Platelet-Rich Fibrin Matrix) therapy to stimulate hair follicles and promote regrowth. This treatment coupled with microneedling uses your body’s own healing properties to restore your hair, helping you regain your confidence and your sense of self. 

We also use other therapies in conjunction with it such as exosomes which come from stem cells. They are a game changer in the world of aesthetic and sexual rejuvenation. While laser therapy is usually used to remove hair, we have successfully used it to increase hair growth. And then there are supplements and topical serums that can be used as well.

For those dealing with skin damage from radiation or chemo-eated sun damage or hyperpigmentation, we offer advanced treatments like CO2 laser therapy, IPL (Intense Pulsed Light), and radiofrequency. These therapies can help repair skin damage, reduce scarring, and bring back the smoothness and glow that may have been lost during treatment. BawaRF, which can be done with or without microneedling, is particularly effective in regenerating damaged skin and restoring elasticity.

Weight gain can feel like an unavoidable consequence of cancer treatment, but it doesn’t have to be. We offer various therapies to restore balance to your body. By addressing the hormonal shifts caused by treatments like tamoxifen, we can help improve your metabolism and give you the tools to manage your weight. In addition, we provide body contouring treatments to help you feel more comfortable by tightening your skin and helping with cellulite. Whether through non-surgical fat reduction or more intensive procedures, we can help you regain control over your body and feel confident again.

Now, let’s talk about the specific issues surrounding vaginal health and intimacy. When it comes to cancer treatments like hormone therapy, the reduction in estrogen levels can lead to vaginal dryness, thinning of the vaginal walls, and pain during sex. These changes, while common, don’t have to be permanent.

Bawa Medical is one of the world’s most advanced sexual medicine practices, and we offer several cutting-edge treatments to help restore vaginal health, pleasure, libido and intimacy. We also help men regain their sexual function after male cancers and we will discuss that topic in an upcoming episode.

BawaWave is a cutting-edge treatment for both men and women that uses sound waves to increase blood flow and clear blockages, which helps improve natural lubrication. This treatment is non-invasive, painless, and can dramatically reduce vaginal dryness and discomfort during intimacy.

BawaShot is a PRFM-based treatment again for both men and women. Trust me, women love it, especially after cancer because it rejuvenates vaginal tissue, increasing sensitivity and restoring the ability to experience pleasurable sex. By using your body’s own healing growth factors, this treatment helps improve lubrication and makes the clitoris bigger, helping you achieve va-va-voom orgasms.

BawaRF, our radiofrequency treatment, also for both men and women, is especially beneficial for women experiencing vaginal atrophy or tissue death. I know… That sounds terrible doesn’t it? I must call a spade a spade. Cancer treatment does kill healthy tissue. My BawaRF protocol stimulates collagen and elastin production in the vaginal walls, restoring elasticity and thickness. 

We are one of just a handful of practices in the world capable of performing vaginal RF microneedling, to deliver even deeper results. BawaRF helps reduce pain during sex and enhances overall vaginal health, making intimacy more comfortable and enjoyable.

Healing from cancer isn’t just about the physical. Emotional healing is just as important. At Bawa Medical, we focus on the whole person—mind, body, and spirit. We help you rebuild your confidence, reconnect with your partner, and rediscover the parts of yourself that cancer tried to take. We are truly here for you every step of the way.

One of the most important things I want to stress today is that you shouldn’t wait until after your cancer treatment ends to seek help. The sooner you address the physical, sexual, and emotional aspects of cancer, the more my team and I can do to help you preserve your body and your confidence. Don’t wait until cancer has taken its toll. Start now. Whether it’s about protecting your hair, caring for your skin, or maintaining your sexual health and pleasure, we can help you emerge from treatment stronger than ever.

The days of losing yourself to breast cancer are over. At Bawa Medical, we specialize in turning survivors into thrivers. You deserve to feel beautiful, confident, and powerful again. We are here to help you reclaim everything cancer tried to take, and more.

Remember, cancer doesn’t get to be your entire story. It is just a chapter, albeit an important one. You are not just a survivor. You are a warrior. You are more than the sum of your physical and emotional scars. You are more than what has happened to you. You are more than your diagnosis, and more than the days you spent fighting for your life. You are beautiful. You are powerful. You are capable of joy, love, and intimacy beyond what you may have imagined.

Do not let cancer—or anything else—convince you that you are not worthy of love, passion, and pleasure. Your body, your beauty, and your sexuality are yours to reclaim. You are stronger than cancer, and you are ready to thrive.

Thank you for joining me on this episode, and thank you for making this podcast among the top 1% of millions of podcasts in the world across all categories. Thank you for being part of my incredible tribe. Today's topic is not one of our sexiest, but it is one of our most important, and I am glad that you stopped by. Don’t forget to share this episode with friends and family. Help me spread the word of healing and wellness. If you're watching this on YouTube, don't forget to like this video, share it and subscribe to the Dr. Sex Fairy channel. 

If you are listening to this episode as audio, download Apple podcasts or Spotify, and subscribe to the Dr. Sex Fairy podcast for free. Learn more about my medical treatments for both men and women, as well as Dr. Sex Fairy Supplements at drsexfairy.com.

I want to end this episode by reminding you of this: You have fought battles that not everyone understands. It has been a hell of a fight, but your journey doesn’t end with survival. Trust in your power to reclaim your life, and know that I am here to walk beside you, every step of the way. Until next time.