EP 44 Conquering Addiction and Embracing Alcohol-Free Life with Rachel of Sober in Central Park

Ever wonder what it takes to turn your life around and conquer addiction? Look no further! Me and my fantastic guest Rachel - known as Sober in Central Park on Instagram - share a profoundly personal and inspirational conversation that's sure to leave you feeling inspired. Rachel opens up about her journey to an alcohol-free life and how she turned her challenges into a hard-won victory, ultimately losing 100 pounds and finding joy in daily walks with her beloved dog, George, through none other than Central Park.

We tread the fine line of shedding light on ADHD and its impact on women, with insights from Rachel's personal experiences with the disorder. She talks openly about setting boundaries, coping with executive dysfunction, and managing emotional regulation. We also discuss the importance of self-care, a key element that has helped us navigate through our struggles.

To finish off, Rachel shares her thoughts and tips about maintaining sobriety during social gatherings and holidays – a perennial challenge for many on the sobriety journey. Whether you're already sober or are just sober-curious, I hope this episode offers you encouragement and a fresh perspective, igniting a spark of hope that life can indeed be beautiful, fulfilling, and joyous without alcohol!

Get in touch with Rachel!
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Transcript

Deb: 0:01

Welcome, friends, and welcome to the Thriving Alcohol Free Podcast. I'm your host, Deb, otherwise known as Mocktail Mom, a retired wine drinker that finally got sick and tired of spinning on Life's Broken Record called Detox to Retox. Let this podcast be an encouragement to you. If alcohol is maybe a form of self-care for you or you find yourself dragging through the day waiting to pour another glass, I am excited to share with you the fun of discovering new things to drink when you aren't drinking and the joy of waking up each day without a hangover. It is an honor to serve as your sober fun guide, so sit back and relax or keep doing whatever it is you're doing. This show is produced for you with love from the great state of Kentucky. Thanks so much for being here and big time cheers. Okay, hey, friends, it's Deb. Welcome back to Thriving Alcohol Free. I am so happy you're here. I am thrilled.

Deb: 0:56

Rachel of Sober in Central Park is my guest. If you haven't followed her on Instagram, please do so. She is a delight, she is a joy. She's over a thousand days alcohol free and I cannot wait to get to know her, hear her story and have her share it with all of us. Rachel, welcome, welcome. How are you?

Rachel: 1:13

I'm good. Thank you so much for having me. I have been looking forward to doing this podcast with you for weeks. I love your energy on Instagram and I know this is our first real time talking and getting to know each other, but I feel like I already know you. I'm like that's my mocktail mom.

Deb: 1:30

Oh well, your mocktail mom loves you. Oh, you're feeling mutual. That's so funny, I know, because I was saying I feel like I know you, like your joy and your energy and stuff. I don't know you personally, but here we are, screen to screen. Okay, rachel Sober in Central Park. So you have a little dog and you guys go walking. Do you go every day to Central? You live right on the park. Is that where you live? No, do you have a training to get there?

Rachel: 1:57

No, no. I think it's so funny because people always think that I'm like right on Central Park.

Deb: 2:02

Do you live in the?

Rachel: 2:02

Plaza Hotel. I do not Right, that's what I'm like. People think I'm like I don't know what they think, but no, I live like 0.65 miles from the park and in New York talk like you know some people. When I tell them all the way near the water, they're like wait, and you go to Central Park every day, like that's crazy. I'm like you guys, it's 0.6 miles.

Deb: 2:22

Yeah, yeah. Really not that crazy, but I'm like I really love my city blocks on there yeah yeah, but no, I am in Manhattan, I am in the Upper East Side.

Rachel: 2:30

And yeah, my little dog George, he's right back there dressed as an astronaut and as a general.

Deb: 2:34

No, yeah, he has a color light. I should do that for Coco. I have a little shitsuit. I should get pictures of her like that. Somebody paint those for you or you do those.

Rachel: 2:42

What is that? I got an Instagram ad when I was still deep in my addiction days and I would just love to like spend money on anything. And, yeah, I got one. And then they lost one in a move of mine during COVID and I got so upset and the company gave me money to buy a new one. I think someone took it but like who would want a picture of my dog as a general? Like that's kind of a weird thing to take when it's not.

Deb: 3:02

Your dog, george is in a bar somewhere. Yeah, he's like hung on a wall somewhere. You have no idea where he is.

Rachel: 3:09

Literally. So I got a new one and they were having a special and I was like I guess I need to buy two. But it was Instagram, that's adorable.

Deb: 3:17

That is so adorable. Okay, so you said when you were deep in your addiction so what got you to stop drinking? What kind of got you to this place of becoming sober in Central Park as opposed to addicted Well, I guess, not really it addicted. That sounds really bad. There's an Instagram handle for you.

Rachel: 3:33

I didn't know my way around Central Park before, like I knew a few places where I would go and drink with people and like where, like the main points of the park, but I didn't know how to get around the park. It's huge. I guess it's bigger than some countries. That's what I heard a tour guide say, really yeah, so I think it's like a really tiny country.

Rachel: 3:51

Tiny countries yeah, tiny Like the size of Delaware, yeah literally, but no, so I honestly just got I know this is the cliche saying I was sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. That was what it came down to. Also, I think, a little sprinkled in fear of my body not being able to keep going with the way I was drinking and the way I was treating my body. Covid really like allowed me to lean into all of the things that I thought were going to make me happy Not having to go to a job that I hated because I got laid off, being able to watch TV all day, binge watch TV and binge food and binge alcohol and have an excuse to drink at one in the afternoon because it's COVID and we're scared and that's what people were doing.

Rachel: 4:40

I thought, like being able to do all those things was what was going to make me happy, and then to find myself just actually less happy than before, maybe a little less stressed because I didn't have like outside pressures, but I was like, wait, I'm still not happy, I don't recognize myself in the mirror and now I have a pain in my side that's really freaking me out. So I didn't know what to do. But my mom my mom, she, you know, jewish mother, like you know, but doesn't want to be too pushy. You know she knew if she was like you should stop drinking, like you have a problem. I would just be like, no, I don't, you don't know what you're talking about. So she got me quit like a woman for Hanukkah.

Deb: 5:21

Really Okay. She's like night number one, here you go.

Rachel: 5:25

She literally goes. No, I just I saw Chrissy Teigen holding it on on on Instagram and Chrissy Teigen, like we, love her.

Deb: 5:32

We love her. She likes this book You're.

Rachel: 5:34

You're going to like this book, like okay, uh, so she gets it for me. And then she's like I'm going to do dry January. Do you want to do it with me? Like everyone does it now. And I was like no, I don't want to do dry January. Like no, so I, I drink on the first, go out, for you know, new Year's, I have a bad hangover. I drink the next day and then I have a horrible hangover on the third and I was like you know what, maybe I will try dry January.

Rachel: 6:01

Like I see people posting about it, like I can't recognize myself in the mirror and, honestly, I was trying to lose weight. Like that was how it started at the beginning too. Well, that's what I told myself. I think that was like my way of trying to inch myself into it, because I loved to drink. I loved it so much I did not want to stop.

Rachel: 6:21

But my sister was getting married and she was supposed to get married when COVID happened, like June 2020. And I was the maid of honor. My now ex was in the wedding party as well and I was just freaking out about the wedding because I hated the way I looked. I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin and I was the maid of honor and I knew that got to big deal right. So COVID happened and they moved the wedding back, and then they moved it back again and so this time it was October 2021. And so I was like, listen, maybe if I start now I could like actually feel confident after a wedding, like I just, you know it was about me. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna try to stop drinking just for January. I'm gonna try to do weight watchers, because every time I tried to do it in the past I drank my points.

Deb: 7:08

Oh, I used to do that. I did, yeah, I did weight watchers and it was like I'd save my points till the end of the day and I'd have five ounces of my wine. It was Heverman points, yeah.

Rachel: 7:16

Oh, I didn't. I can't never stop at the five ounces. I would just be like, okay, like you know, and it never would be over. So I was like, okay, you know, I'm such an all or nothing person. I was like let's just do it all at once. And I was already kind of going to Central Park with my dog because we had left the city for almost of 2020.

Rachel: 7:33

And we were back and I was like, all right, I'm gonna just like move my butt, like try to walk, like I wasn't walking at all when we left New York, like and that always happens when I leave New York Like I leave New York and then I drive everywhere and I'm like, oh, this is why, okay, this is why I can never close my rings on my watch when I leave, but you're sitting all day. Yes, you're sitting and sitting more, yeah. So, yeah, we just started walking and that, I think, helped at the beginning. And then I tried dry January and it was actually easier than I thought it was gonna be.

Rachel: 8:03

Honestly, yeah, I thought it was gonna be this horrendous, like depressing, like fight every day. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't like a walk, literal walk in the park every day, but it was easier than I thought and I was like, oh, I started waking up just feeling so good, like I couldn't understand how it was even possible to feel that good, because I never felt like that, like I had woken up feeling like crap every day for years and I think my body was like. I was like waiting for the hangover. Some days it was like I would wake up and I'd be like this again, but then I felt great.

Deb: 8:39

And I was like wait a minute, no, I'm good.

Rachel: 8:41

I was like I feel great, I'm gonna go walk to Central Park with my dog, and that's how it started, like we just started, you know, like go into the park and I would just like get there and then turn around and come home. They didn't know my way around. George is an explorer.

Deb: 8:55

Okay, he likes to push me out of my comfort zone. So cute really. He's taking, he's driving you. That's so cute.

Rachel: 9:01

Every day he would try to go onto a new path and a new path, and I'd be like but as I got further into the journey and I think I felt more confident in myself, I was like, all right, like let's add this path on, let's add this path on, until it became this like six mile walk that we did every single day rain, shine Like it could be. It was sleeting a few days and I would put on two pairs of pants and my big boots and we would go and he would go to, he would go on the sleet.

Deb: 9:27

He loved it. Yeah, he's an adventurer.

Rachel: 9:31

I mean, he was a street dog from Cairo, egypt.

Deb: 9:33

Oh yeah, he's like this is a piece of cake, this is a walk in the park, mom, I'm fine, literally. Oh my gosh, wow, okay. So when did you start your?

Rachel: 9:43

Instagram. So I started the Instagram in the end of September of 2021. It was like two weeks before the wedding for my sister. And yeah, and by then I yeah, I was like eight months sober and that's when I was finally ready, I think, to kind of go to the next level of my journey, like I never in a million years that I was going to get past 30 days. I just did not believe that.

Rachel: 10:08

And so when I did that and then I started, then I broke up with my now ex-husband, technically, had him move out, I stopped being friends with all of my drinking friends because I even went on an international trip with some of them and when I came back I was just like I need some new friends, I need sober friends, I need a sober community. But I hadn't done AA because it was COVID and it was lockdown and there were not in-person meetings. So I was like I don't know if I want to do Zoom AA meetings. So I didn't have a community and I honestly was scared I would drink again If I didn't have accountability from something else. That wasn't like just myself telling me myself I wasn't going to drink.

Rachel: 10:49

Telling your mom the book worked Really, though. I mean, it was really great to read that the first month of my journey, because I was able to better understand what was happening to my body and to actually gain knowledge about the science of alcohol in women and how it affects us, and so, holly, thank you for that. So, yeah, I made the Instagram account then, and really I didn't even know if I was going to show my face in the first few posts. I was like what do I call it? I don't know. Literally all we saw were in Central Park.

Deb: 11:22

That's a very little thing. It's such a cute name. It's such a cute name, yes, it's so perfect. But yes, you post a lot about your transformation, I mean of your body. Is it Weight Watchers that you've done? Is there some I'm like, what have you done? Because I need that transformation. You look great.

Rachel: 11:37

Thank you. Well, I don't do it anymore. I stopped at the end of 2021 because I lost like 100 pounds. I couldn't believe it, yeah, from the heaviest that I got during COVID. I was like 100 pounds.

Deb: 11:52

Wow, Rachel, that's amazing.

Rachel: 11:53

And all it did was walk.

Deb: 11:55

Thank you, you walked, you walked.

Rachel: 11:58

That was it. I mean, granted, I looked after my and you weren't drinking.

Deb: 12:01

Yeah, your alcohol intake is down. Obviously, that's calories and sugar.

Rachel: 12:05

I was walking like 12, 13 miles a day, like we're not talking, like just a little walk.

Deb: 12:12

Oh, I was like I walked too, Rachel. Oh, OK, so 12 miles a day. So you're doing like a half a marathon a day. I was, I'm not anymore.

Rachel: 12:21

You're doing a mini marathon a day?

Deb: 12:23

OK, all right, well, that makes sense. Then now, ok, that makes sense, because I was like wow, I'm not walking right, ok, yeah, we were walking very fast.

Rachel: 12:30

It was also, I think that was my way of like meditating and starting the day, and I didn't have as much going on in my life then, like I didn't even have a job at the beginning of it, like I was still unemployed and not you know it was. So it was very different.

Deb: 12:43

You had time, you had time.

Rachel: 12:44

Yes, and I think I honestly got addicted to sobriety. It's as crazy as that. I mean, it sounds that crazy, but I got addicted to like bothie and trying to be my healthiest self. But having that what her wedding that was a really great goal for me. To keep going, like on the days where I was like I just want to like binge eat or I just want to like not go to the park today because it's disgusting out, I would tell myself, like we have the goal of the wedding.

Deb: 13:11

The wedding's coming up For you. Good for you Having that to pull you like, keep going, keep going, keep pulling you forward to a goal. What goals do you have right now for yourself?

Rachel: 13:22

Oh gosh, I love having goals, yeah.

Deb: 13:24

I love goals.

Rachel: 13:26

Yeah, well, one goal is I'm trying to write a book and I've been trying to write a book for a long time. Good for you. So my goal is like just to get the proposal together and to try to like actually sit and do that. But yeah, you know, right now it's hard for me to stick to one goal. I think, being an entrepreneur, I never in a million years that I would be an entrepreneur. Really Okay, and especially about not drinking, like all of this is just it's kind of funny. It's almost like the universe being like you were always looking for your purpose and now here it is.

Deb: 13:59

Isn't it funny? You never would have guessed it. So variety is the biggest surprise of my life, you know, and all that has come with it, like a career, a new career. Who knew I wasn't looking for a new career? But it has turned into one and it's been so much fun, you know. Yeah, who would have ever thought?

Rachel: 14:15

I think, yeah, I really I get it. It's like I would have never believed it ever. But I also think I had to go through all of that stuff that I went through to get here and I wouldn't appreciate my life if I didn't go through all of the stuff I went through. So I really it makes me think back on times where it's hard to think about or I'm not necessarily proud of stuff I did. I'm like well, I had to experience that.

Deb: 14:39

Yeah, absolutely yes. And now you can share with others and share the light, yes, of a changed life. Yeah, and honestly, just the surprise of it all and how wonderful it is, right, yeah, could you have ever imagined how great you would feel, how, I mean, could you look and just how you feel, waking up without a hangover? I couldn't have imagined, right?

Rachel: 15:01

No, never, never. I mean, if I had even a slight like understanding, I would have stopped drinking a lot earlier, I think. For so long I was stuck in that, in the trap of anxiety where it was so, so bad that, like, drinking for a long time is the only way to get out of that anxious state, but then just made it worse, you know all of that Anxiety, the anxiety, yeah, just never.

Deb: 15:25

It never stops. Yeah, the crazy loop.

Rachel: 15:27

Yeah, and I have a serious anxiety disorder, like I'd known that for a long time and I think anybody who has like generalized anxiety or ADHD which is what I've been diagnosed with ADHD for 20 years, but no one really explained to me that I'm way more likely to be addicted to things. I'm way more likely to develop alcohol use disorder or substance use Like I didn't know that. So now it's not a surprise why I went through what I did. But if I can just help other people try to understand their ADHD better understand why they have addicted tendencies Like that to me is huge.

Deb: 16:09

Is huge. Yeah, you were looking for your purpose. You have found it. And now to be able to make a difference in the lives of others is everything right. That's what matters for our life to make a difference.

Rachel: 16:21

Totally. I mean, before this I was working in nonprofit philanthropy, you know, and I kind of felt like Robin Hood in some of the time. I was like taking money from the wealthy New Yorkers and giving it to people who needed it and I felt like I was closer to what I was supposed to be doing, like I knew I wanted to help society in some way or make a difference and honestly, I did not think starting an Instagram, my Instagram account, was going to be my purpose.

Deb: 16:44

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Deb: 17:43

I didn't want anybody to know. I mean, I wanted strangers to know. I didn't want anybody in my real life to know. Did you feel that way in the beginning? I didn't tell anybody I wasn't drinking. I didn't tell anybody. I started my Instagram account and then one of my neighbors followed me. She found me because silly me at the time I knew nothing about Instagram. I tagged my city and I live in a small town in Kentucky, so I tagged my city. So if you follow the city then you see posts right, which I didn't know at the time. So my neighbor down the street saw like and liked my post and followed me and I was like oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Jen Nash knows that I am not drinking. She's going to think I have a problem. She can tell the neighbors, yeah.

Rachel: 18:21

Oh no, I went through the exact same thing, like yeah, I mean it's a little different, but I didn't tell anybody I wasn't drinking, really until I hit 60 days. That's the first time I posted about it on my old Instagram account.

Deb: 18:31

Okay.

Rachel: 18:32

I posted everything about my drinking. I just glamorized drinking all the time. And then, at 100 days, I made a little post on my Instagram. No, just made a post and people I've wanted to like throw up the second. I posted about it and people resonated and sent me such nice things.

Rachel: 18:49

But then, when I made sober in Central Park, I did not want other people from my old life following it. I wanted it to just be like a fresh start. Fresh, yeah, I wanted it to be separate from my other life for a while. And then I started my job that I had for a long time at the nonprofit I was at and I didn't want anybody to know I was sober. I didn't want anybody to know about the Instagram account which I started while I was working there.

Rachel: 19:15

Well then, one day I was doing something with a colleague on Facebook for something and we had to.

Rachel: 19:20

We connected on Facebook for over something and then I guess she ended up seeing sober in Central Park stuff because they would post to my Facebook at that time and she started following me account and I remember pulling her aside and being like please don't tell anyone here about sober in Central Park. Like I'm just not ready for that. I really want to keep it personal and so she did. But then, like someone else found out about it, then someone else found out about it and eventually like people at work just knew about it. But it was a really slow progression of me feeling comfortable enough to like let them follow that and like I just didn't want them to see me in that way. From when I'm posting the transformation and the transformation posts that I post, like they're really to show like what I was like when I was really drinking too much in addiction and in that like in that state it's not as much about the weight, like that was more for me. That's just what I looked like then.

Rachel: 20:17

Yeah, but the transformation is not right, is obviously not that yeah, it's a piece of it, but I think for a while at the beginning, when I was posting that, I had some negative feedback from some people being like, oh, it's like I gained weight and like, why are you posting this? And it can be feel bad, Like it's not about the weight, and I'm like you're right, it's not about the weight, but for me that was a big piece of my journey and I was unhealthy. This was like that's just what I looked like on and off for a few years and now this is what it looks like. So you know, in a real you can't really show like the transformation inside.

Deb: 20:54

Yeah, the real transformation is that? Obviously, yes, it's manifesting itself in your physical body.

Rachel: 20:59

Yeah, I mean, you can see it in the eyes you know.

Deb: 21:02

but clear eyes, yep, yeah, they don't see you waking up each morning. You know fresh, feeling fresh. You know feeling good, waking up without shame. I mean, it's hard to demonstrate that on Instagram, in a real you know, but to show the before and after transformation, you know, of weight loss and stuff is possible, yeah, yeah, and I think you know some people.

Rachel: 21:22

There are a few people that have followed my account since the beginning and in the beginning it was just like I don't know my diary. I would every day on my walks I would take, I would like post on my stories like the whole walk, like this is the zoo, this is my favorite tree, like I would just like babble on and on. Like someone one time DM'd me and they were like what do you do? Do you even have a job? Do you just like walk around Central Park and rent all day? You're a tour guide.

Deb: 21:48

You could be a tour guide. I mean at this point you know all the trails. That's a whole nother little business. You could have sober in Central Park and take people to different places where they get like non-alcoholic drinks in Central Park.

Rachel: 21:59

I've actually thought about it. Central Park has walking tours, but obviously maybe I could put my own spin on it. Yes, and my dream would be to collaborate with Central Park for real and have them. They know who I am now.

Deb: 22:10

Yes, they need to do this, and then at the end you could do like a carriage ride, you know, and have drinks at the Plaza Mocked hills.

Rachel: 22:19

Yeah, I would take the Plaza drinks, but the carriage rides. We can't do that because they don't treat the horses nicely.

Deb: 22:25

Oh, okay, we treat our horses right in Kentucky. Let me just tell you, come for the Derby. We know how to treat horses here. It's beautiful I mean like you drive it's so. Anyway, whatever, it's beautiful. I grew up in outside Philly, so this is like even still, I drive by these fences with these beautiful horses and it's like, oh my gosh, I love Kentucky. Okay, so no carriage ride, but yes, you could finish with drinks at like a nice place, or what is it? Is that green place? What is it called the Gart?

Rachel: 22:48

Oh, tavern on the Green, is that still there? Yes, it's still there, but I don't know. I think they have mocktails. Oh, okay, I'm going to work on them, okay, yeah. Yeah, I thought about doing like office hours in the park, maybe in the warm weather, and I was doing actually a walk every Sunday morning during the spring with a nonprofit and that was really cool. It took a lot. It was a big, big time commitment every Sunday at 8am to meet an incentive park, so I may be able to bring that back one day, yeah, but yeah, maybe there's something else.

Deb: 23:20

Yeah, it's hard. I think, well, yeah, if you have ADHD. And then the entrepreneurial spirit, it's like I don't know if you're like me, but it's like I'll be like, oh, I want to do that. And I'm like oh, and then it's like, oh, wow, this is, this is actually a lot of work, this is and now I have to like keep following up on things, and you know what I mean Like I have all kinds of ideas and I have to stop. I mean, I stopped myself right before this call. I had an idea and I was like, no, no, no, you don't need DM them about anything. No, no, you do what you're doing right now. Stop.

Rachel: 23:48

I think I've undiagnosed ADHD. I think I texted you about that. I think I messaged DM you and I was like do you have ADHD? Because I just like want to ask, because I am like constantly oh, sparkly, look, let's go over there, yeah. I'm not a doctor, okay, but I do think I'm like a human ADHD detector, just from my like past 20 years.

Deb: 24:09

You have ADHD radar. Is that what it's called?

Rachel: 24:12

I do. It's like neurodivergent radar, but it's also such a superpower and they think that like it's all just going to tell my doctor.

Deb: 24:20

Rachel says I have it, I need something fast. Well, maybe something would help me, because I feel like I walk in the kitchen and like cabinets are open and I'm like who is in here? And then I'm like, oh my gosh, I was in here. I was the one emptying the dishwasher and left to go do something else and got distracted in. Three hours later I came back in. Is that normal?

Rachel: 24:38

Yeah, that's ADHD.

Rachel: 24:39

Like the thing about ADHD is that there's so many things to it, especially in women, that people don't know and that I've only even learned about in the past two years.

Rachel: 24:50

That's why I'm like, oh my gosh, so much of my life has been ruled by this diagnosis and so many things that I hated about myself and that I honestly was like yelled at by my dad about, like that's a whole other thing, but it was really all stuff that I can't change, like stuff that is hardwired into me because of the ADHD, like how much I talk, I'm an interrupter, but it's like all of these things are because and I know why it happens now, but at the time when I'm little and I didn't understand the diagnosis and I even after I got diagnosed and they just give you medication and I still didn't get like why my emotions were always all over the place, like why would just like burst into tears, like why sound was too much for me, sometimes Like you know, eating things that there's just so much that goes into ADHD that I really just want to help teach people about from my lived experience having it and also dealing with addiction, because it's really complex and it's so much more than people realize.

Rachel: 25:50

I think people glamorize it so much, sometimes like, oh, that was just so, 80d of me. But people don't see the other side of it, where, yes, I had a billion ideas, I want to like too many, and then it gets overwhelming, but then I'm like I don't want to do anything right now.

Deb: 26:04

Yeah, then you're paralyzed, yeah, yeah, I can't do anything.

Rachel: 26:07

Yeah, the executive dysfunction where my brain is like, rachel, go get the laundry that you have sitting in the dryer, just like go get it, and my body's like no, you're just not going to get it right now. You can't do that right now.

Deb: 26:19

Yeah, your body's like no, as a matter of fact, we're still sitting here. No, yeah.

Rachel: 26:23

So it's like there's a lot to it that the people don't understand and that if I can just like shed a light and kind of like addiction and alcohol, but yeah, if I can help someone better understand themselves and not beat themselves up for things that they can't change and that are just like misunderstood about that.

Deb: 26:40

Just who you are, yep, and who you are, yeah, can't beat ourselves up for that, no, and your dad shouldn't be beating you up for that. I mean not physically beating you up, but like no no that's so wrong. That's so wrong. I'm sorry about that. That's not.

Rachel: 26:52

Well, I think he's ADHD. Honestly, it is a genetic thing and he's like extremely smart. He's like one of the smartest people I know. He's a surgeon. We just never got along since day one, since the day I was born, and I tried for so long to make it work and we actually haven't spoken in about six months. He only lives about two miles from me here in New York and so that's been challenging.

Deb: 27:16

That's really hard. I mean, I know just from my experience, like, even when you set those hard boundaries or you know, whatever the situation is, even if you know, like this is healthy, this is healthy for me, this is the right decision, it's still hard. And it's hard to cut someone out of your life or protect yourself for a certain period of time or whatever it is. You know that's really hard to do.

Rachel: 27:37

No, it is yeah.

Deb: 27:38

Yeah, you're walking through it right now and you know what, rachel, you're not drinking, and it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change your relationship with him. So I'm really, I'm really proud of you. I'm really proud of you because that's not easy to do, to go through something this hard.

Rachel: 27:51

Definitely. And I Listen, like I tried to take a little break and that only made things worse because then he was like mad at me for me Taking the break and it just. It's become this thing where I just have to do what's best for me. But listen, like my, my parents are divorced and my mom she she's like a year and a half sober now. Wow, crazy. Like she. She never had a drinking problem, not even close. Like she had, maybe like a cosmo here in there Glaffa wine with the friends. She was always just like healthy. And then I went on my journey and she was kind of like I think I want to do this too good for her oh.

Rachel: 28:29

We've never been closer, and so that's really cool.

Deb: 28:32

What a gift. What a gift. Does she live nearby? Does she live in Central Park or six? She closed physically in New York.

Rachel: 28:43

No, she's in Boston. I don't think people realize how hard it is to get between New York and Boston. It's not fun it is like.

Deb: 28:51

Eight gazillion people there.

Rachel: 28:55

Like it's like, it is like three and a half hour drive. Yeah don't hit traffic, and if you train it's like five hours. So I mean not too far away.

Deb: 29:04

But no, we're not like no, she's not around the corner from you. No, she's not around the corner. You're not walking past her place on your way to the park.

Rachel: 29:09

No, exactly yeah exactly so but it's interesting that alcohol, like before I stopped drinking my dad and I we weren't, we were okay, but we would get together and drink. So I stopped drinking and like wait, we Not only do we like nothing in common.

Deb: 29:25

Yeah, now we can't even bond. Can't bond over that. Yeah, I can't gloss over the fact that I don't really want to be here with you right and that now you're uncomfortable that I'm not drinking. Yeah, well, okay, we're going into the holiday season. Do you have any tips, any advice for somebody you know maybe they're having their first sober holiday or, you know, going to see family, or any tips or advice for somebody who's going into their maybe first holiday or sober? Curious?

Rachel: 29:51

Yeah, definitely. So the number one thing that is more important than anything else is Make a plan.

Rachel: 29:58

Yeah you need to walk into anything you do that has alcohol, family Emotion, with a plan. Okay, I need to figure out what are you gonna be drinking? Do they have non-alcoholic beverages there for you? Do you need to bring your own? Are you just gonna have water? Have that figured out before you go. Have an escape route if you might need it. You might not need it, but at least know how you can leave. Like is there? Did you drive? Can you leave within your own car? Did you not drive? But you can get an Uber like have that figured out before you go anywhere.

Rachel: 30:33

Also, practice, like, what you're gonna say to people when they, when they ask you, like Now, where I am, like I don't need to worry about that, like everyone knows. But in the beginning I wanted to say different things to different people. I wanted to have different responses, based if they said something Weird, if it was some like friends I was seeing for, like a friend's giving, and they were, like come on, just drink with us, it'll be fun. Like I wanted to practice what to say for that, and Having those responses ready to go Really also helps for the holidays.

Deb: 31:05

Definitely. I see you have a bunch of stuff behind you, so do you bring your own, like mocktail creations or non-alcoholic wines, alcohol-free beers, things like that? Do you bring stuff with you, yeah?

Rachel: 31:14

so I need some lessons for you, from you about mocktail creations, because I am, I think sometimes brands and other people think that I'm like this, an exologist that knows what I'm talking about.

Deb: 31:23

I'm not an exologist. I don't know what I'm talking about. You, you seem like you do. I'm mixing it all up. No, I mean I at this point. Yes, obviously I can make a mocktail, but in the beginning I didn't at all. I had no idea, no clue.

Rachel: 31:37

I don't like to cook. Okay, I don't know, I'm a microwave. I'm a microwave.

Deb: 31:40

I'm a professional microwave. I know people talk about, oh, making dinner for my kids and like well, what would you guys like me to warm up? Yeah, I'm like I can not always, that's not true always, but it's definitely. I'm not a cook or every night, yeah.

Rachel: 31:56

Well, I, I was. I love my ready to drink, I love my any wines, but if you invite me somewhere, just assume that I'm coming with mocktails. I went to a Shabbat dinner the other night with a ton of people and I didn't know what they were gonna have. I like a with and out a bottle of prima pavé. I have some like curious, and you got the man of Shevitz.

Deb: 32:15

I've got the geese in the prima pavé, we're ready to go. Yes, that's perfect. I have two girls and my, my younger daughter, lily's 16, and she's really into mocktails. I mean, even when I gave her last night, I made her one and she's like, hmm, it needs, it's missing something. Mom, I need something like she has like a really discerning palette, more more so than me. But um, anyway, she literally opened up the little. I have two little beverage refrigerators and she opened one up. She goes we need some RTD's. My six, oh my god, says to me we need some RTD's. I'm like I'll run over to Total Wine, we'll grab some. Okay, before we go, I was gonna ask you, do you have any favorites, like any not alcoholic? I mean, I feel like we've already made named a few.

Rachel: 32:54

Oh, but I'll tell you my favorites.

Deb: 32:55

Okay, that's your somebody, your favorite, before we go, curious.

Rachel: 32:57

Elixirs is definitely my favorite in terms of they're ready to drink, they have no added sugars in them, they have adaptogens in them, so they there's eight different flavors and they all kind of make you feel a little different, like not in a way that's like yeah, not busy, no, but like you know, some have like Damiana, one has ginseng, one has valerian root and I just I love that. They're ready to go, they taste amazing, they're all like cleanest ingredients you could possibly put into beverages. And then, to top it all off, the people that work for this company and the founder of this company are my actual friends. They're like my work family, like I'm obsessed with these people. Like I saw them last night, I've seen them tonight, I mean, it's like I dropped them, like every day.

Deb: 33:41

That's so great.

Rachel: 33:42

Yeah, they're based here in New York, so get to hang out them all.

Deb: 33:44

Oh, that's perfect, even better oh yeah, I love them. Okay, and the wines joyous is probably my favorite deliciousness.

Rachel: 33:53

Mm-hmm, so good, and I also love them. The people, women from joy, oh yeah.

Deb: 33:58

Jess is amazing. Yep, yep, female family yes, sober woman yeah, she's, I mean three spirit with the first company I ever worked with.

Rachel: 34:07

I Got an ad on Instagram about them, ordered the product, loved it because I was a whiskey drinker, okay, so I. The night cap for me was so helpful in the first like here, because if I found myself like Having that, like just even in the glass, yep, which is the ritual of having the drink, yeah, yeah, I would pour myself some of the night cab and I was like, oh, and then I would fall asleep. So I was like this is great.

Deb: 34:31

Wow, wow oh.

Rachel: 34:33

So I think those are probably like my favorite, your top ones. Yeah, yeah, so many good ones. What about you?

Deb: 34:38

There's so many oh yeah, no, oh my gosh. I mean there's so many, it's like, and they're just coming out more and more and more. I mean, yeah, joyous. Do I have a bottle of joyous behind me? No, I have a ritual bottle behind me. I have Q mixers. They're in New York, they're in Brooklyn. I love, like their ginger beer, to make a like a mule Is out of this world.

Deb: 34:57

The Hibiscus ginger beer is so good it has, I think it's cayenne that's in the ginger beer, the Hibiscus ginger beer. So it's a little spicy. This is delicious. The Spice 74, kentucky 74, spiritless. The Spiced one, especially for like fall winter. It's like fireball without the fireball.

Rachel: 35:17

I have some, and I need to like start using your mocktail cards myself.

Deb: 35:20

It's really good.

Rachel: 35:22

I had a client use them, by the way, the other day. If anyone doesn't know this, I'm a sober life coach.

Deb: 35:26

Oh yeah, she has to show me mentioned that Now that we're closing and she's a sober life coach. So if you made any life coaching or sober coaching, please reach out to Rachel.

Rachel: 35:33

Yep, yes, and one of my clients the other day was having issues at a restaurant because she's in the South and there aren't mocktails down there on menus and so she had a waiter be rude to her about it and I was like you know what I just saw a mocktail mom has these cards that you can download and print out and you can bring it with you. And she's so. She did it and our next session she's like I love the mocktail mom cards.

Deb: 35:57

I'm so glad, I'm so glad there's actually one of the recipes. It's on there. You know it's one from one of my guests, rich Loud, who's probably listening, shout out to you Rich, you're the best. Yes, yes, those are great, because if a restaurant doesn't have something in a bartender I mean, sometimes I think some bartender would be offended if you're handing them a recipe card. But I think if there's nothing on the menu and they're looking at you like deer in headlights, they don't want to make you. That gives you a little guide to hand them a little card. Yeah, that's perfect. Good, I'm so glad that was helpful. Tell her I'm glad it helped her. Yeah, I will.

Deb: 36:26

I'm actually talking to her later today.

Rachel: 36:28

Oh good.

Deb: 36:28

OK, well, please tell her. I'm really. That makes me really, really, really happy because I just want people to have the tools. Like the first time I went and ordered a mocktail, I was all excited to order a mocktail. It was like maybe 10 days, I don't know, a couple weeks in my journey, and the waitress was like I can make you a Shirley Temple. And I was like I almost said I'll have a Chardonnay. So that's why I have those cards is so that people can say, oh well, here could you just make me this, you know, a pineapple or something.

Rachel: 36:55

And I think you would agree, right, like it's changed a lot since when we were starting.

Deb: 36:59

Yeah, there's tons more options out. Many restaurants now have things on the menu, yet it's not, as I don't think, as necessary, as it was in 2021 when I was trying to figure out mocktails.

Rachel: 37:08

No, but it is necessarily places around the country. Not everywhere is the same. Yeah, same way, but I think when I think we're pretty close in day count right. And when I was starting, there wasn't sober Instagram like it is now, there wasn't like, I agree, mocktails weren't as big as they are now.

Deb: 37:23

Yeah, it's all boom. Yeah, look what we've done, rachel. Look at all that we've done. Look what we've brought along with us. I am so thankful to be connected to you. I love following you. I am cheering you on and absolutely, if you're listening and you're not following, sober in Central Park, follow along and just be encouraged by Rachel's journey. So love you, my friend. So so thankful that you did this with me today. Thank you, thank you so much for having me.

Rachel: 37:47

This was awesome.

Deb: 37:48

Thank you. Thank you Big time. Cheers to you for tuning in to the Thriving Alcohol Free podcast. I hope you will take something from today's episode and make one small change that will help you to thrive and have fun in life without alcohol. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social, send up a flare or leave a rating and a review. I am cheering for you as you discover the world of non-alcoholic drinks and as you journey towards authentic freedom. See you in the next episode.