EP 51 Meet Emma Newman: Finding Joy and Adventure in Sobriety

When Emma Newman poured her last drink, she had no idea that her path to sobriety would lead her to a world full of delicious mocktails, and continue after 97 months! Her story isn't just about saying 'no' to alcohol—it's about navigating new social landscapes, prioritizing self-care, and conquering your fears. In this latest episode, Emma brings to the table her candid experiences, from the early days of limited non-alcoholic options to today's vibrant mocktail scene, proving that going dry doesn't have to mean going dull. 

As we chat about the sober life, Emma's insights underscore the courage and opportunities that sobriety uncorks. Who knew that ditching the drink could lead to conquering the O2 in London or the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu? Emma shares her tips for navigating social settings sans alcohol, from pre-planning restaurant visits to shaking up your own 'rock shanty' at home. Whether you're curious about crafting the perfect non-alcoholic mojito or you're looking for inspiration to take on your own heights—both literal and metaphorical—this episode is a toast to the boundless adventures that await in an alcohol-free life.

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Thanks to Giesen 0% Wines for being our exclusive non-alcoholic wine sponsor!

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Transcript

Deb: 0:01

Welcome, friends, and welcome to the Thriving Alcohol Free Podcast. I'm your host, deb, otherwise known as Mocktail Mom, a retired wine drinker that finally got sick and tired of spinning on Life's Broken Record called Detox to Retox. Let this podcast be an encouragement to you. If alcohol is maybe a form of self-care for you or you find yourself dragging through the day waiting to pour another glass, I am excited to share with you the fun of discovering new things to drink when you aren't drinking and the joy of waking up each day without a hangover. It is an honor to serve as your sober fun guide, so sit back and relax or keep doing whatever it is you're doing. This show is produced for you with love from the great state of Kentucky. Thanks so much for being here and big time cheers, all right. Hey, friends, welcome back to the Thriving Alcohol Free Podcast. I am so excited.

Deb: 0:53

Today my guest is Emma. You probably follow her already on Instagram Emma, underscore sobersonic. If you are not following her, please do so. We've been following each other for a long time. I mean I've been on Instagram almost three years, or three years now. How long have you been on Instagram? I think I joined in 2017.

Emma: 1:10

It was a real spur of the moment. Yeah, a real spur of the moment kind of thing, oh, my God, that's so cool.

Deb: 1:19

Okay, I cannot wait to hear your story. You and I just recorded for the Mocktail Summit, so I'll give the background, the back story here. We just recorded for the Mocktail Summit. You have the two Mocktails that you made for the Summit in front of you the Italian Spritz, which looks so gorgeous I wish we were closer, I just want to like grab it through the screen. It looks so beautiful and the Amaretta Sour non-alcohol cocktails that you just made. They look so pretty.

Emma: 1:44

Yeah, they smell amazing as well.

Deb: 1:47

Can you stop recording so I can drink these, please? You can drink. Why don't you drink while we talk? You can drink them.

Emma: 1:53

I've got to eat the cherries and like, if you told me back in 2015, when I quit drinking, that these kind of drinks would be on the table quite literally, I would have been astonished, because back in 2015 there were very few slash no non-alcoholic drinks out there. There was just no choice it was alcohol or it was a soft drink. When I went out, I didn't drink soft drinks. I like drinking cocktails, I like drinking wine, I like drinking everything really, and I kind of reached a point in my 40s where I felt that alcohol wasn't serving me anymore.

Emma: 2:30

I think there was a lot of hormonal changes going on long at that time. Drinking became a bit of a rushing roulette for me. Was two going to be okay or was I going to feel horrific the next day? And that kind of just ramped up quite a lot of anxiety. So I was going out I probably have a glass of wine before I went out and then I'd be like oh, kind of sealing the deal really. And in 2014, I kind of felt like I needed to think about how much I was drinking, because by the time you'd had like you know, one glass making dinner, one glass with dinner, maybe a little cheeky bit clearing away.

Emma: 3:07

You know that was. That was half bottle. I was kind of like I think things needs to change. But I couldn't envisage what that would look like. And the thing that kept me stuck in that space was that I like drinking drinks, and so what was I going to drink instead? I didn't really want to drink just water, but then, on my kind of final what turned out to be my final hangover in October, I was drinking aphorol spritz and amorethesaurus which is why I decided to make them for your mocktail stomach and I just like I had to throw in the towel.

Emma: 3:41

At that point I didn't think it was going to last very long. I kind of thought maybe I might get till Christmas. But with every day that I didn't drink I was kind of like, oh, okay, this is, this is cool, that's another day. Wow, let's just see how, how long I can can kind of keep going with this, and you know, last weekend it was 97 months. So I wish, I wish, I wish that I had kind of set up some sort of sponsorship page. You know, sponsor me a penny for every week I can do.

Deb: 4:15

Just keep you a rich woman, right. A penny a day or something. Double the penny every day, right, yeah?

Emma: 4:21

yeah, absolutely. But back then I kind of didn't, didn't really think it would be possible. So, yeah, I just I just stopped. I didn't go to any meetings, I didn't work a program, I didn't know anyone who didn't drink, and so on the one hand it was quite lonely and it was quite an isolating space, but equally it was, it was very quiet. You know, in that solitude I got to kind of find out quite a lot about myself and where I was going. By the time it was sort of 2015. I've got myself a smartphone. I'm aware of how old this makes me sound.

Deb: 4:57

I'm 52, so I don't know how old you are, but I think, yeah, you're younger than me, but yes all the kids are like a smartphone.

Emma: 5:08

Yeah, I got myself a smartphone and I downloaded Instagram. I thought you know what I'm gonna, I'm gonna have an account. I was like I'm gonna have an account and, on the spur of the moment, I just kind of popped up a picture and I was amazed that some people started to follow me and I was like, wow, this whole sober community and and back then Instagram was kind of I think you just, you know, you just heart something, I'm not sure there even comments that weren't DMs, that weren't reels, that weren't stories, and it was quite in a Very sort of dignified Gentile space. It was just amazing to connect with a lot of people.

Emma: 5:57

And when I first started posting kind of in like 2017, 2018, every now and then I put in a little non-alcoholic drink, but not very frequently, because there was quite quite a backlash to that and I don't know if you felt the be a shift. I kind of feel it was around the pandemic that people became more accepting about non-alcoholic drinks and embrace them more, and there was there's a very much a shift in in Kind of how they were received when when you post about them, which was which was really nice, because previously you were like, oh, I'm just, you know, kind of sharing the stuff that's helping me to. You know, keep flooding along on my not drinking journey when we live in an alcohol-centric world.

Deb: 6:44

Exactly, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah, I think, like for me. Well, during the pandemic I was drinking. But there is definitely a part of the sober community that very much looks down upon Mocktails or views them as a trigger. And if it's a trigger, absolutely, then don't drink. I mean like, and I think like in your case, in my case, they've helped me, they've been a tool to help me. Like you said, you know, keep going. And so I don't look down on anybody who. I have no judgment for somebody. If they say like it's not for me, no problem. I'm not forcing anybody to drink a mocktail and, in the same way, I want that same respect of like. This helps me. You know, for some people it's going to a meeting, for me it's making a mocktail or connecting connecting online, you know with other people.

Emma: 7:25

So yeah, for sure, and it's also about social inclusion and acceptance. And I think if you're going to a function and you're there and you've been given some kind of little plastic beaker of War, more ensues that you've had to ask specifically for someone to go out the back and find. Then it's a real kind of beacon of otherness, whereas if you're there with a, you know, a flute of non-alcoholic prosecco, you blend in and and actually I found that when I've been out and about and you know, sometimes I've snuck in my own stuff because I haven't been the options People are always really interested and they're curious and I think that's, you know, that's a great way to broach the subject. It's like, you know, I'm still enjoying a drink, I'm still having fun, but there's no alcohol in my drink and that's, that's the only difference really and all the difference.

Deb: 8:14

Yeah, it's the only difference. Yeah, yeah, the fun hasn't ended right here. Just as much fun. You know, you're just waking up with that hangover and your drinks are so beautiful.

Emma: 8:25

Well, yeah, I mean, and that's, that's part of it. So for me, I think for me, my drinking kind of changed when I became a mom and you know you're kind of limping to that sort of five, six o'clock in the evening. You know, get the tea done and get them in the bath, get them to bed, and so it's like hanging out for that drink, hanging out for that drink where you could go oh, it's my time, we claim my time having a non-alcoholic drink where you invest some love and some nice ingredients and you kind of think about what you're going to have and you have so many choices nowadays which are amazing. It's like just putting that little pause into your day and taking the time to invest in yourself, to nourish yourself, nurture yourself, and you know I'm worth this. I'm going to make for me, I'm going to take that time for me.

Emma: 9:13

And at the end of my drinking days, literally it was just undo the screw cap on the bottle of soap in your blonde and pork. There was no kind of taking care or making something special or selecting the glass, and you know it's just been quite slavish to. Oh god, I need my time now and this is just a whole, completely different vibe to it. It's about oh, what am I going to do? It feels exciting and fresh and I think you know like I'm over eight years of a non-drinker now. I think one of the reasons in the last four years that we still kept going is because there are so many amazing drinks and you can really switch it up, because three years plus of sparkling water with lime was kind of wearing a bit thin.

Deb: 9:55

It doesn't matter how pretty the glass is you can only do so much. The drink does have to have something to it.

Deb: 10:03

So it's a whole theatre and the aroma and how it looks, and you know just getting excited about it Totally and I think, like what you're saying, like it's self-care, it's caring for yourself, you know, it's not being a slave to the wine that we're, you know, getting the screw top opening just like, okay, I've made it through another day, you know, but celebrating, yeah, the life that you're living without hangovers, yeah amazing and you know it's a simple things as well.

Emma: 10:30

It's the remembering to take off your makeup or put on your moisturizer, or the amazing sleep that you've had, or just you know so many little things.

Deb: 10:38

So it's like eight years of that. Yeah, yeah, 97 months of remembering to take off your makeup, put on your moisturizer, right, just caring for yourself, because at the end of the end of a bottle, that's not what we're doing. Yeah, okay. As you guys know, I love Giesen zero percent wines. Their Sauvignon Blanc is my go to on a regular basis. They recently launched a delicious sparkling brute, zero percent, which is quickly becoming a fan favorite. I am so proud to have geese and as the exclusive non alcohol wine sponsor of the thriving alcohol free podcast.

Deb: 11:11

Giesen zero percent wines are created through the magic of advanced spin and code technology to remove the alcohol from their full ledged wines. The award winning winemaker Duncan Shuler and his team have done wonders in Marlboro, new Zealand, by creating entire family of zero percent wines with all the flavor and deliciousness you expect from traditional quote full ledged wine. Their non alcohol wines maintain the aroma and the body to create a low calorie wine that never contains more than 0.5 ADV. Globally available, Giesen for zero percent wines wherever you shop for your non alcohol options. Their family of alcohol free wines include the most effervescent member of the family, the sparkling brute zero percent, which is absolutely delicious for any celebration.

Deb: 11:49

My personal favorite although I do love them all is the Sauvignon Blanc coming in at only 100 calories for the entire bottle. And, not to be missed, the other members of their zero percent family the re-sling, the premium red blend, the rose, the Pino Gris, with Giesen zero percent wines. There's a de alcoholized wine for everyone and every occasion. Give Giesen a try and let me know how much you love it. And if you want to meet their winemaker, go back to episode 33 of the podcast, where Duncan Shuler joined me to share about the Giesen story. What has been the most fun for you about sharing on Instagram?

Emma: 12:21

Connecting with different people and you know, not just kind of in the UK but globally the different drinks that are out there and you know, especially if you're following people in the southern hemisphere you're in the cold and the winter and you see these amazing tropical drinks You're like, oh gosh, some funny stuff.

Deb: 12:41

That is so true.

Emma: 12:42

Yeah, and just you know, coming into contact with a lot of people who have come from many different walks of life, with very, very different backstories, who are all connected with this one thing, and then you realise that there are other connections that link you as well. You know, I think that we think of alcohol as being really bonding, but actually it can be very disconnecting and I think people can be quite kind of secretive not intentionally, but how alcohol is making them feel, and then it just kind of overspills when they've had a couple of drinks, whereas you know, when you connect with sober people they get straight to the nub.

Deb: 13:19

And you know straight to the. What did you call it? Straight to the nub.

Emma: 13:23

What do you say? Straight to the nub, straight to the nub. You know the crux of the nub, I love it.

Deb: 13:27

I'm learning your word.

Emma: 13:28

Yeah, and that's that's amazing hearing people's stories where they've come, what they've you know what they've overcome, what they've achieved, and seeing people be reignited with plans and dreams and ambitions and things that they kind of have given up on. So, yeah, it's, it's really great space to be in so true.

Deb: 13:47

What have you been able to do in your sober life that you didn't think would be possible, or you didn't even imagine what you'd be doing?

Emma: 13:54

So I've got a bit of a fear of heights and this year I have done two climbs which for the first one, I must have spent about seven months beforehand, every day, saying it will be fun, it will be fun, it will be fun, like really telling myself when you know, my, my, my brain was saying you're going to hate it, what you? This is mental. Why are you doing that? You'll be terrified. You know you don't like heights. It's going to be awful.

Emma: 14:22

I was saying every day it'll be fun, it'll be fun. And it was so much fun that I ended up doing it twice. So I did a climb climb over the OT, which is an iconic building on the Thames at Greenwich in London, and it's 52 meters high. And you climb on, you're just clipped on by this kind of harness that attaches you to a to a like kind of a metal line. And yeah, I did the first one back in June and then there's another one in November, and after that I was like you know what? That wasn't so bad, like I've done this once, and I think that's amazing thing about sobriety it makes you realize that there's a lot of kind of neural pathways that have have opened up for you and that you can conquer fears and you can start to explore new things. And I was like do you know what this is? This is great.

Emma: 15:12

And an opportunity came up to do something in 2024, to do a hike to Machu Picchu. And I was like, wow, yeah, I mean, you know I've climbed two things 52 meters, let's, let's go for it. Like, and I'm kind of like part of me is going. Why did you do that? Why did you say yes to that and the other one is like that's just going to be so much fun and you would never, never have said yes to that previously because you were scared of heights.

Emma: 15:38

You know you don't like standing on a chair and you certainly wouldn't climb up a ladder to get into the loft. And you know, those two things can still be true. I can still be not very keen on standing on the chair, I can still not want to go up into the loft on the ladder, but I want to hike to Machi Pichu and I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna do it with an amazing group of people and it's, it's so exciting and I think that's the Amazing thing about sobriety and alcohol free living is that it keeps opening out and expanding and you know, just when you think, oh yeah, that was quite good. Yeah, you know there was some mystery, there was some fun, there was some magic, and it's like another level then presents itself to you and you go, yeah, you know that's.

Deb: 16:19

I love that Try, I love that. That's so true it does. It just keeps opening up, it keeps expanding, it's, it is and I'm not trying to fight it's the gift that literally keeps giving. It just keeps giving. There's not one day waking up thinking like I really wish I was drinking again. You know, never.

Emma: 16:36

Oh, no, no, never never, never.

Deb: 16:38

I've not woken up one morning and thought, wow, I wish I'd had a bottle of wine last night.

Emma: 16:41

You know, I wish I had a hangover. Yeah, no.

Deb: 16:46

Never. So, yeah, just all the things that are available that you can't even imagine when you're, you know, in that, in that place, so which I was there for a long time, in long time.

Emma: 16:56

Yeah, we'll throw here and, like you know, eight years in, every day and we're not kidding you every day there's something that happens. So I'm like I wouldn't have done that if I was drinking. Yeah, absolutely Just just wouldn't, wouldn't have, and it can be simple things like I'll run out of something, oh. The daughter says oh, I need this for my food tech. I need tomorrow. Oh, okay, I can drive to the shops.

Deb: 17:19

I can run to the store at 7 pm. And not be thinking like or not be, even if I wasn't into wine. Be thinking like, ah, I was gonna pour a glass of wine, you know. Or be like annoyed, you know, you're just, it's a different, a different headspace, yeah.

Deb: 17:30

Yeah, yeah okay, super quick. When you go out to eat now, like, do you look ahead at the menu to see what they have on the menu in terms of, like, non-alcoholic options? I know you mentioned, like, bringing your own, which I think is a great idea if you know you're going to play, it's sort of that. I think that's brilliant because we have to be prepared you know, we have to be prepared and we want to.

Deb: 17:48

You don't you know, you gotta gotta get yourself prepared. So if you're going, maybe, to a restaurant, is there a certain mocktail or non-alcohol cocktail that you will, that you like to order when you go out?

Emma: 17:56

So I want to go out, if I know where I'm going, I will always look at the menu ahead and have a plan of what I'm gonna you know gonna go and get, and I think that if it's a place when there aren't many choices, then asking for a non-alcoholic mojito is always a great idea, because it's it's such a simple thing to ask for. Another thing I do if I spot that they've got angostura bitters is I ask for something called a rock shanty, which is half soda, half lemonade, with a couple of drops of angostura bitters, in which I know contain alcohol, but when they're in a pint it's, it's, it's high, it's such a tiny bit.

Deb: 18:32

Yeah, that's, it's really negligible.

Emma: 18:35

But what I will do if I'm going out is I'll have one of those little note you have like wax wraps in the states. They're like pieces of fabric and pregnerated with with wax so they're kind of very sealable, yeah, so I'll put some little bits of garnish in those and I'll just tuck it in my bag and then I know, at the very least I can get myself a tonic and I can put some pretty bits in it and it will feel, it will feel nice, it will feel special.

Deb: 19:01

I like that. I've never heard of somebody like bringing their own garnishes. I love that idea Put in a little ziplock bag, you know, a little baggie, bring with you. I love that, because then you're sitting there and it's not like you know, just Not that anybody cares, or the or if they do whatever. But at the same time I want to feel like I'm having a nice cocktail when I'm out and about. Yeah, yeah, for sure, absolutely. I love that. That's a pro tip right there. Bring your own garnishes.

Emma: 19:28

I also have a bag which has a zip of horizontal zip down the side. That's meant to be a guess for a water bottle, but every now and then I'll stash in a can of ready to drink you know, ready to drink rocktail and pop that in there. And if there's nothing there or I've tried the option and like, yeah, there's really nothing out I mean I will always check and normally people are fine and if they said no, then you know that's that's fine. But it's also raising awareness that there are people who would like to have a non-alcoholic drink and I think that that's. You know, if you don't put that out there and people don't really realize hospitality doesn't really realize that it's demand. So yeah, I've got a bag with a special little zip down the side and I'll wax that.

Deb: 20:10

A little Mary Poppins Moxail bag that you have. That's what you have. You've got garnishes in there. You've got ready to drinks? Yeah, I've got a full-on bar in my bag.

Deb: 20:20

She's pulling out Mugglers. She's pulling out a shaker cup. Okay, super quick. Last but not least, is there any advice? If somebody is doing dry January, is there any advice maybe you would give to them? If they're just, maybe they just had a rough. You know, the holidays were rough, they drank more than they wanted to and they're thinking about maybe taking a little break. Any advice you would give to them?

Emma: 20:41

Yeah, stay open-minded and give it a go and try other things. If there's something that you don't particularly, that you've tried, you don't particularly like, try it with a different mixer, because a mixer can make all the difference to a non-alcoholic spirit and it might just be that the mix you've got with it is just not great pairing. Reach out to these guys, the brands on Instagram. I mean, they are so amazing. They want you to have the best experience with their drink. They will give you so many tips, so many advice. Or reach out to people like yourself and I. We love drinks. We want other people to really enjoy them as well. Don't just think, oh, I didn't like that. It's like there is a way to make that drink delicious, you just haven't found it yet. Keep the faith and be open-minded.

Deb: 21:32

That's awesome. That's such good advice. Such good advice. Yeah, because we have to try a lot of drinks sometimes until we get to the ones that we personally really enjoy. Okay, emma, I'm so glad we did this impromptu podcast recording. Thank you so much for being a part of the Mocktail Summit. Thank you for being on Thriving Alcohol Free podcast. I'm so happy to know you and to be connected. So so fun to meet screen to screen yeah thank you so much, Deb.

Emma: 21:56

It's been such a chuckle and our animals have been really well behaved.

Deb: 21:59

I was going to say yeah, you've got three cats that have been very well behaved for both of our recordings today. And I have Coco here snoring. I can hear her. I don't know if the microphone's picking it up, but that's typically how she likes to be she's laying in the sun. So our animals behaved. We made it. We made it through a whole two recordings without problems. Okay, love you, my friends. So good to do this, thank you, thank you. Thank you, deb. Big time cheers to you for tuning into the Thriving Alcohol Free podcast. I hope you will take something from today's episode and make one small change that will help you to thrive and have fun in life without alcohol. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social, send up a flare or leave a rating and a review. I am cheering for you as you discover the world of non-alcoholic drinks and as you journey towards authentic freedom. See you in the next episode.