Thriving Alcohol-Free with Mocktail Mom

EP 78 Meet Abbie Jean: A Recovering Alcoholic and Sober TikTok Sensation

• Deb, Mocktail Mom • Season 1 • Episode 78

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I am beyond excited because we have the fabulous Abbie Jean from TikTok joining us. If you're on TikTok and not following her yet, what are you even doing? Abbie Jean, famous for her fun coffee drinks, amazing nail art, and those adorable accents, has been rocking sobriety for five years. She started sharing her journey casually, but it turned into a supportive community that changed her life. We're diving into her story, from the early struggles with alcoholism to the incredible power she found in sharing her story and connecting with others.

Abbie Jean's life took a turn when someone at work openly discussed their alcoholism, inspiring her to seek help. She talks about the magic of community, overcoming shame, and how she's reclaimed her joy and power in sobriety. Join us for a super inspiring chat about overcoming addiction and living your best, happiest, sober life!


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Deb:

Buckle up, friends, and welcome to the Thriving Alcohol-Free Podcast. I'm your host, deb, otherwise known as Mocktail Mom, a retired wine drinker that finally got sick and tired of spinning on life's broken record called Detox to Retox. Let this podcast be an encouragement to you. If alcohol is maybe a form of self-care for you, where you find yourself dragging through the day waiting to pour another glass, I am excited to share with you the fun of discovering new things to drink when you aren't drinking and the joy of waking up each day without a hangover. It is an honor to serve as your sober, fun guide. So sit back and relax or keep doing whatever it is you're doing. This show is produced for you with love from the great state of Kentucky. Thanks so much for being here and big time cheers. Okay, hey friends, it's Deb. Welcome back to Thriving Alcohol-Free. I am so happy you're here today. I am so thrilled because Abbie Jean, abbie Jean from TikTok if you're not following her, well, maybe you're not.

Deb:

If you're not following her, you're just not on TikTok. But if you are on TikTok, please make sure you're following her. Abbie A-B-B-I-E and is it underscore? Underscore? Jean J-E-A-N. Okay, so two underscores, but as soon as you put in Abbie, she'll probably pop up. She is so fun to follow. If you like coffee drinks and if you like your nails and you like accents, in one video she's your gal. And Abbie Jean has videos where she talks about being an alcoholic and being sober. You're five years sober. Yes, five years. We're gonna talk about that. Okay, so excited for you to be here today. You are so fun and I just love. I think we connected like two years ago maybe. Yeah, in a while. But, um, okay, you slide into your kitchen Some people slide into the DMs and you slide into your kitchen with the camera rolling and you're like what do you say?

Abbie:

Let's make some at home coffee, shall we?

Deb:

Shall we? Okay, so you start with that and then literally you'll go into like a Southern accent You'll have, I love it, you're like accent queen.

Abbie:

Just a peek into my brain.

Deb:

So fun, it's so fun, okay. So how did you get started sharing on TikTok?

Abbie:

So I started TikTok. I think how a lot of people started TikTok-ing I, you know, in 2020, 2021, I was posting, just like some of the trends and some of the sounds. My first viral video was about my Apple Watch oh really, my Apple watch. I got it. And then I remember the first day it was like hey, stand up, like oh okay, like I didn't expect this. We're now you're bullying me and standing up.

Abbie:

I made this little skit and I got a million views and I was like, well, you know, this was so cool and I didn't really think much of it. And then I had a couple other, just like very, I'm just doing the trends, being silly. And then I think I commented back on somebody's comment and I just said something about being sober and then the comments flooded in and I very casually just made a video and I said you know, my name is Abbie Jean. The comments flooded in and I very casually just made a video and I said you know, my name is Abbie Jean, I'm an alcoholic, and I answered their question. The reaction, I guess, was different than I expected. People were like shocked that I very comfortably, just kind of said that on the internet and it is something I'm very comfortable talking about. So I kind of just I ran with it, which was perfect timing because I definitely needed an outlet during COVID, when everything kind of shut down and it has been, you know, changed. It has changed my life and my sobriety for sure.

Deb:

Really, by sharing about it Really.

Abbie:

I call it, like I was stuck in a loop and I was very strictly going to meetings every single day. If I wasn't clocked in at my job, I was at a meeting. I was terrified of relapse, I was very, very afraid I was living my life very, very safe and I was really scared. So once I kind of found this community, I started branching out and realizing that I can just kind of live my life and have this you know beautiful time and be silly and funny and me, and I don't have to worry every second that my addiction is lurking around the corner. So it was just like a beautiful escape for me and it truly has changed the game for me.

Deb:

Wow, wow and to share the fun of just yeah, you're just living life, having a good time right. Being sober does not mean you're miserable or you're not. You know, not doing anything else other than going to work and meetings.

Abbie:

Yeah, and you know my, my silliness came through and I think my personality really started to shine. So I really owe I, you know, I owe so much to the beautiful community that we have because they really they took me out of my shell.

Deb:

Oh, I can't imagine you ever being in a shell, honestly, like if anybody, if you follow, if you follow her for two seconds. This woman does not have a shell. The shell is cracked and it's lost with your chickens. They ate that. They ate the shell.

Abbie:

Yes, yeah, I, I I don't think I have like the gene that gives you like embarrassment. I just I roll with it and we we have a lot, a lot of fun.

Deb:

You have so much fun? Yes, so did those videos when you started sharing about your sobriety get a lot more comments? Were you getting more comments? Or you know direct messages and things like that.

Abbie:

Yes, it was refreshing, I guess, to talk about um. I'm going to talk about going to meetings and stuff in a very just kind of like brief sense, but where I am, where I live, is an older community, so the difference for me was finding people my own age who are all sober. Sobriety has definitely gotten much cooler, which I think is very, very awesome, but when I got sober in 2018, I was 28 years old and I felt shame. I felt shame for having to raise my hand and say my name's Abby, jean and I'm an alcoholic and this shameful thing. And then, when I found that there were so many people in my same age in my same boat, I was like, wait a minute, this doesn't have to be shameful. Like we can have this community and we can talk about it if we want to. We don't have to. But I had that connection that I needed with people who were my own age, which, again, was a game changer for me.

Deb:

Yeah, that's game changing. Yeah, to feel like, okay, there's other people, you know who, who I can relate to a lot more. Yeah, yeah, yes, I have gray hair. So, yes, we're showing up to a meeting and we're all have gray hair. You're like what am I doing here? Yeah, I'm sure, and that shame. I know I don't go to AA, but I did. I felt such shame, you know, and I think people on all spectrums of you know, maybe finding sobriety or being sober or soberish, have that feeling of shame.

Abbie:

Totally. I mean it's definitely. You have to accept the fact that something grabbed a hold of you and you know my addiction really tried everything in its power to ruin my life and a lot of people who don't safely recover. And so you know, I'm extremely grateful for the program and all of the steps that I took, absolutely. But my goal is to just share that you can just live your life, yeah. And it's fun and you don't have to worry and think about it every single day.

Deb:

Yeah, it doesn't have to consume you.

Abbie:

Absolutely.

Deb:

Yeah, okay. So I know one thing, like for me cause I'm not, I didn't go to AA but like one thing that I hear and tell me if I'm wrong that like there's a feeling of like not drinking mocktails or not drinking Cause I know, like you're, you're always making the drinks, I know you're not there making mocktails necessarily, but do you have that Like? Does that do mocktails bother you? Or like a non-alcoholic drink Cause I know you're making fun coffee drinks, but that's different.

Abbie:

Yeah, so I think definitely in the beginning, because, yes, that is um, it's. It's weird, like I kind of don't even remember.

Deb:

I feel like it's just like the culture, right, and it's like the culture.

Abbie:

Yes, and I did have that sense of like oh well, uh, non-alcoholic beer, even if it's a zero, zero, like you are toying with the idea, you're romanticizing alcohol, all of these things. So I definitely I felt that way for a very long time and it was actually your video about the Sauvignon Blanc, the Giesen Giesen, and so I saw that video.

Deb:

Seriously, they're my favorite so good, I felt like naughty.

Abbie:

I was like I was like I want to try that wine and I felt naughty and I went and I bought the wine.

Deb:

The 0%. You got their 0% right. I got the 0%.

Abbie:

I double checked 8 million times. I had honey check it 8 million times. But it was just so funny because he was seeing me like and I was like I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I checked the bottle a million times and he's like I really just think it's not that big of a deal, but it was ingrained in me that these were. It was a bad thing. So I had my little, my glass of Sauvignon Blanc, and it was just like you know, it was a little bit of a release, because I'm also all about like, take your power back. This is literally a drink, bingo.

Deb:

It's a drink you have to drink all day anyway. You're drinking, we're still drinking.

Abbie:

Don't drink.

Deb:

You die. Hydration is everything.

Abbie:

Yes, so once I took my power back, I have, you know, and I have the little bottle, and I have another one and I have it on Christmas and I do. Oh really, I didn't know that. Yes, and I, a couple weeks ago I had a Heineken 00 at the pool. Great, she was out. She was out, yeah, but again, I, I, I needed that structure in early sobriety and I'm grateful for that. But now I'm definitely, you know, having fun, just oh, don't go any further.

Deb:

But at the same time I feel like for me it's and I think for many people it's it just, I don't know. It's like you can still be part of the fun, you know. It's like oh, you know. Okay, I did not know that about you trying the Sauvignon Blanc. It's one of my favorites. Were you a wine drinker? Is that what you? Or you were a cocktail drinker, you were a wine drinker.

Abbie:

Yeah, all of this with whenever I talk about sobrieties or mocktails or going out Probably the last two years of my addiction. I wasn't having fun. I wasn't out at bars, out at parties. I was literally laying in a bed drinking in the morning to feel normal. There was no fun about it. I posted a couple of weeks ago I was making like the sleepy girl with the magnesium which I love in a wine glass and someone said like oh, doesn't that wine glass trigger you? And I laughed and I was like oh, wine glass. Like I didn't use a wine glass, I was drinking out of the bottle.

Deb:

Yeah, or the box. The box it's like, yeah, just open up a bag of wine.

Abbie:

You know, glass, this glass doesn't do anything for me, you know. So I think, just the way you look at it, and with time and sobriety I mean, everything is constantly changing.

Deb:

Agreed. No, I totally agree and it's a perspective and I think maybe just having new glassware, you know, can help because, yeah, like I wasn't having a great time but I was drinking out of my best mom ever wine tumbler.

Abbie:

Totally.

Deb:

I had to get rid of it. It was like, okay, you know what? I don't think I need to keep having new memories. I need to make new memories. So like this, this glass I'm having today, this has never seen alcohol, right, so it's like I'm creating new memories. Yes, I love it. You're creating new memories with your beautiful. When you make your coffee drinks, then you open up your drawer it's a whole routine and you have all these straws. Do you have a favorite kind of straw? You like the stainless steel straws? Do you like the glass straws? What do you like? Plastic, big plastic?

Abbie:

straws. I have all of the above. I was so against the glass straws and now I can't live without them.

Deb:

They're nice. They're very nice, aren't they? Mom cups, and I have a little glass straw.

Abbie:

It's a good glass straw with a little bed.

Deb:

Yes, yes, all right. So you mentioned Honey, yes, yes, so anybody who doesn't follow you, honey is like part of your. Well, he's your husband. So, yes, but you're talking about you. Don't share his name. You just call him Honey. Yes, that's so cute.

Abbie:

It was funny because in the beginning I just didn't show him and then people were absolutely 100% sure that I was married to a celebrity.

Deb:

Oh, that's hilarious. They're like what country, what country's rock star are you married to, Right?

Abbie:

And that's why she doesn't show him and I, and then it's classic, this is classic. But you I mean there was like hints in my life that we are not like wealthy people- but it was so.

Deb:

Then you're like we're in an rv people on our camping trip. We camp in a real rv.

Abbie:

Yeah, that's from like 1997, like my cabinets are from 2002. So I was like this is too funny. And then I just kind of said like oh no, he just doesn't. He doesn't want internet. And there was another probably year and a half where people thought his legal name was honey.

Deb:

Oh my gosh.

Abbie:

They were guessing his like ethnicity.

Deb:

It's a silent H.

Abbie:

Yeah, this is so. That is hilarious. Yeah, so he is Forever Honey. People call him Honey in public. My parents call him Honey. Oh, it's the best.

Deb:

That is so so, so cute. I love it. And he's not on social Like my husband's not on social at all Like Larry is not on. Doesn't see my Instagram. Doesn't see he's on my husband's on Nextdoor app. Is your husband on anything like that? He'll find deals online and that's it.

Abbie:

No, I came home a couple of weeks ago and he was talking into our remote that doesn't have that feature. That's classic, I love it.

Deb:

What do you do? Yeah, honey, that's not going to work. What do you do?

Abbie:

Yeah, honey, that's not going to work. No, so he doesn't text message, he exclusively makes phone calls. No texting to you, doesn't text you.

Deb:

He'll text me like four times a year Christmas, your birthday, oh my gosh, that is so funny. That is so funny. Okay, as you guys know, I love Giesen 0% Wines. Their Sauvignon Blanc is my go-to on a regular basis, but they recently launched a delicious sparkling fruit 0%, which is quickly becoming a fan favorite. I am so proud to have Giesen as the exclusive non-alcoholic wine sponsor of the Thriving Alcohol-Free Podcast.

Deb:

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Deb:

With Giesen's 0% wines, there's a de-alcoholized wine for everyone and every occasion. Give Giesen a try and let me know how much you love it. And if you want to meet their winemaker, go back to episode 33 of the podcast, where Duncan Shuler joined me to share about the Giesen story. Okay, back to our sober journey. What got you sober? Well, okay, so you were not having a good time. You were like the fun was over, the fun of drinking was over. Yeah, so what got you to say, okay, I need to really take a look at this.

Abbie:

So I actually got to Florida. So my mom lives here. I live in Naples, florida. I was living in Rhode Island at the time and I had just gotten out of my college relationship exclusively because of my drinking. I still had the mentality that, like everyone else around me, was just being boring and I'm young and cool and you know, you guys are all crazy. So my group of friends actually contacted my parents and stressed that they were really worried about me. So my dad came and picked me up on my 25th birthday in Rhode Island and drove me to his house, then flew me to Florida to see my mom.

Abbie:

Once I got here, you know, I was like a con artist and I was like, look, I'm fine, everything's great. And she was like, you know, yeah, you look fine. And then I was really off to the races. Everything in Florida is very easily accessible and things got scary really quickly. In 2017, my mom brought me to a medical detox where I medically detoxed for seven days, which was very intense.

Abbie:

I don't remember a lot of it, but I did have a kind of like a hallucination in the bathroom where I was looking in the mirror and I ended up like I was freaking out because I thought it was a two-way mirror and the nurse came in and I remember she like put her hands on my shoulders and she said you know, that person in the mirror is you and you just don't recognize her right now because you're going through a lot and I remember thinking like these people are crazy, and I was just so you know, my body was going through a lot. At the time they recommended a year-long program for me, which I declined because I was not ready to get sober. I was still very much so in denial. I was sober for about three months after. I was still very much so in denial. I was sober for about three months after leaving that program quote, unquote yeah, you know then.

Abbie:

Then I was off to the races again, which, as they say it it it got so much worse than it ever had been, is when I started drinking in the morning and I was showing just really horrible withdrawal symptoms and my kind of like you know, end of the road was kind of non-conventional People say like a rock bottom. But I had hit rock bottom like an unbelievable amount of times. But I was working at the job I had at the time and someone my same age came in and we were chatting and I was kind of like poking fun a little bit at them and they stopped me and said you know, abby Jean, can you please not kind of joke around with me in that manner today? I'm an alcoholic and I'm having a really hard day and for some reason that day, that time, hearing someone in real life say that to me so comfortably, it like flipped a switch and I immediately thought in my head like that's the high that I want, I want that drug.

Abbie:

And I took their number out of the system at work and I sent them a message and I just said, hey, this is Abby Jean from the Place and I'm struggling so much I really like I would love any help that you could offer. And they sent me back an address and I went and I drove that very next day to the address, which is where the meetings happen, and I went through the front door and I just immediately started sobbing. There was a group of women and I'm begging and pleading them to help me and they did.

Deb:

Wow, wow. What a testament to reach out right. Yeah, because all of us in the sober community, wherever we are, are always willing to help.

Abbie:

Absolutely.

Deb:

Yeah.

Abbie:

That moment that, for whatever reason, is what clicked for me, and I have a million people in my face telling me that I was an alcoholic, telling me I needed to get sober, telling me that I wasn't gonna make it. I was gonna, you know wasn't gonna make it. And for some reason it was just seeing that person in real life in a regular old Tuesday afternoon.

Deb:

Isn't that amazing. God used that moment to just yeah, it was like your heart was just ready, you were just ready. Wow, it's very emotional to hear you share that story.

Abbie:

Yeah, thank you, it's crazy to look back on, to be honest, because I was in a very scary dark place and I needed that little bit of strength that day because I truly believe if I hadn't driven that very next day, I truly believe if I hadn't driven that very next day, I wouldn't be here today. There's absolutely no way.

Deb:

Wow, wow, what a miracle. What a miracle, yeah, and what a testament just to the program and to, yeah, to those who are there just to be of support.

Abbie:

Yeah, it's funny I still see. There was five women that just happened to be standing like in the threshold of the door and I still, and I still see three of them regularly.

Deb:

Wow, wow, yeah, meeting angels there for you. And are you still at all in contact with that gal who said that to you, who gave you the address? I am not, not that you need to be, I'm just curious. Yeah, yeah, but I was like, yeah, just for that moment. Yeah, and that's yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that's amazing.

Abbie:

And I don't even know if that person even knows.

Deb:

Yeah, even knows what. Okay, isn't that so good, though, doesn't that? Just? It's like we never know, right, you don't know, and like I think about all the thousands of lives that you are touching, abbiey Jean, because you just share openly, you share the fun of your life, you just share, and you share your sober journey, and you share that you're an alcoholic and you're open about it, and it helps so many people that you will never, ever, ever know that your life is impacting your life.

Abbie:

It's just been an absolute blessing for me, because everyone wants to feel a part of something. Addiction can be extremely isolating and you get in your mind that you're not worthy of friendships and blessings and a beautiful life, and that couldn't be further from the truth.

Deb:

Yeah, so true, and it happens so slowly, right, doesn't it? It's not like day one of drinking, it's like wham, it's like it's just slowly, slowly, over time. All of a sudden you're like, yeah, you're isolating. You're in your bed drinking wine or whatever. Crazy, what am I doing? Yeah, how did I get here?

Abbie:

Yeah yeah. It happens slowly and then you're so in deep that you really don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. You cannot believe where your life has become. The strength to get out of that is huge. You really have to dig down deep.

Deb:

Absolutely yeah. What advice would you give for somebody who's listening, who's maybe? Maybe they're you sitting at that desk?

Abbie:

Yeah, you know, the most important thing to note is that you do deserve a good life. You are worthy. It's going to be incredibly difficult and it's going to be hard work, but I promise you it's so worth it and I feel extremely lucky. I have such a beautiful, amazing life, and that's to say I don't have a big, extravagant house, I don't have the newest bathroom, I don't have designer bags, but I have an outlook on life that is priceless. No one can stop me, because I'm so grateful that my body got me through this and that now I'm healthy, happy and I'm safe.

Deb:

Yeah, you've won the lottery.

Abbie:

Absolutely.

Deb:

You've won the lottery and we are both very, very wealthy. Right, I don't have the newest kitchen cabinets. I've got problems in my house, but yeah, it's like I feel like I've won the lottery and it is it's perspective, absolutely and it's just yeah, it's really realizing like where you've been, yeah, yeah, what a gift. I mean a normal day morning waking up without a hangover is a gift.

Abbie:

It's a gift. It's a gift, yeah, I mean I joke like I love, I love five guys, I love getting my nails done, I love all these things. But, like yesterday, I'm sitting in my car, I have my five guys, which I love. I love doing things for myself that I enjoy and I am I'm like I am so freaking blessed that I drove myself here in a car that I pay for because I work at a job, because I'm myself here in a car that I pay for because I work at a job because I'm sober and I'm able to get up and do those things.

Deb:

Amazing, amazing, amazing. It is a total, total, total gift. Oh my gosh, thank you for being here with us today. Thank you for sharing your story with Thriving Alcohol-Free. I so appreciate you. I love following you. For anybody who's not following you, or if you're on TikTok, tiktok's not banned, it's never going to get banned. So Abbie A-B-B-I-E underscore, underscore Jean J-E-A-N. Make sure you're following her. Half a million people are. It's insane when you think about that. So if you look at like you're watching a sports game and you're like they say like, oh, there's like 100,000 people, do you just think like, okay, so like five stadiums, one people follow you. No, it's crazy, five big stadiums. You know, yeah, how many people were at the Taylor Swift concert in London last week. It was a hundred thousand or something. So, yeah, yeah, and we're all cheering for you. You are amazing, you are so fun to follow and I just appreciate all that you do for the just the community. Yeah.

Abbie:

I appreciate you so much.

Deb:

Thank you Big time cheers to you for tuning into the thriving alcohol-free podcast. I hope you will take something from today's episode and make one small change that will help you to thrive and have fun in life without alcohol. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social, send up a flair or leave a rating and a review. I am cheering for you as you discover the world of non-alcoholic drinks and as you journey towards authentic freedom.