Thriving Alcohol-Free with Mocktail Mom

EP 93 Make A Mocktail with Marnie Rae Clark

• Deb, Mocktail Mom • Season 1 • Episode 93

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In this fun episode, I’m so excited to welcome back one of my favorite guests and dear friend, Marnie Rae! Marnie, the amazing founder of National Mocktail Week, is here to celebrate with me the launch of my brand-new book, The Happiest Hour, by shaking things up in the kitchen. We are making a delicious Dark and Stormy-inspired mocktail from the book, and catching up on everything from her incredible impact on the alcohol-free movement to her own journey with over 22 years of sobriety. If you’re curious to hear more of her story, check out EP 11.

Marnie and I go way back, so we reminisce about how we first connected and reflect on how far the sober-curious space has come since she began advocating for mocktails back in 2018. In this conversation, Marnie also opens up about her battle with stage 4 lung cancer and shares how it’s shifted her perspective on life, work, and self-care in a profound way. 

There are plenty of laughs, some tears, and so many deep reflections about what it means to truly thrive at every stage of life. Whether you’re celebrating life’s big wins or navigating those tough days, I know you’ll leave this episode feeling inspired and empowered. So head to your kitchen, grab your favorite mocktail ingredients, and join us as we raise a glass to the beauty of living alcohol-free and embracing every moment.


Get in touch with Marnie Rae!
Website | Instagram

Registration is now open for The Mocktail Summit (January 14-16)!

Order a copy of The Happiest Hour: Delicious Mocktails for a Fabulous Moms' Night In

A huge thank you to the sponsor of the Thriving Alcohol-Free podcast!
Giesen 0% Wines

You are loved. Big Time Cheers!

Deb:

Buckle up, friends, and welcome to the Thriving Alcohol-Free Podcast. I'm your host, deb, otherwise known as Mocktail Mom, a retired wine drinker that finally got sick and tired of spinning on life's broken record called Detox to Retox. Let this podcast be an encouragement to you. If alcohol is maybe a form of self-care for you, where you find yourself dragging through the day waiting to pour another glass, I am excited to share with you the fun of discovering new things to drink when you aren't drinking and the joy of waking up each day without a hangover. It is an honor to serve as your sober, fun guide, so sit back and relax or keep doing whatever it is you're doing. This show is produced for you with love from the great state of Kentucky. Thanks so much for being here and big time cheers, okay, hey, friends, welcome back to Thriving Alcohol Free.

Deb:

One of my favorite people that I've ever ever met on Instagram in the mocktail community is back with us Marnie Rae. If you're not following her on Instagram, please make sure you're following her. Marnie Rae C, right, isn't that Marnie Rae C? So I'll make sure your Instagram handle is down in the show notes, but Marnie is here to celebrate with me the launch. What do you call it? The book drop? The book writing publication? The book launch? Did I land on the right word? The book launch of the Happiest Hour? She's going to make a mocktail with me and we're going to do a catch up because you were on the podcast eons ago, episode 11.

Deb:

Early on, early on, we connected really early at the beginning of the podcast, so I'm so happy to be able to kind of check in with you. How are you doing so? I want to get into all of that and what you have going on because, first of all, you're just such a special friend. I can't wait to chat today. I miss you. I love you so much. I am so grateful for your friendship and we actually Marco Polo. I don't know if anybody else is Marco Polo people, but poor Marnie, every once in a while I'll start talking in my car and I just don't stop. You get to drive with me sometimes places.

Marnie Rae:

I love it.

Deb:

Am I right? And you'll be like why is she telling me these things? I have no idea what she's telling me. Right now I start rambling, I get on that Marco polo and it's just like a confessional booth.

Marnie Rae:

It's a hell of my day when I get a Marco from you.

Deb:

It's like a crazy day, okay. So here we are, we're both out of our robes and we're recording. This is a miracle for us, right? Some mornings we're both just still in our robes. Okay, we're going to make a drink, actually from the chapter of the book is called Just Getting Started, which I think is so funny actually, because when you and I connected, it was over on Instagram and it was because of video about Don Lemon and me basically telling him like we're just getting started, so we're not done yet over here, we're not past our prime. So the drink we're gonna make today is called conquering the dark days, because life can bring many dark, many dark days.

Deb:

Yep, we both have and having them, yes, yes, so this is like a take. What is it? It's a. It's a dark and stormy which I'd never had before.

Marnie Rae:

Were you a drifter, no being sober for over 20 years? I feel like there's a lot of drinks that I missed out on, which is fine, but yeah, there's a lot that I never got to try, that's fine.

Deb:

Well, now we can try it. Non-alcoholic yes, and you've been sober over 20 years, right, over 22 years. Something like that Amazing, and how everything has changed since then, right, so much.

Marnie Rae:

So much has changed. Even so much has changed in the last, you know, six or seven years.

Deb:

I feel like even just since you and I talked, you know, on the podcast, it's like there are so many more sober, curious programs. You know, sobriety has become even more glamorized, which is wonderful, right, I know it's amazing.

Marnie Rae:

I just never. You know, when I started talking about mocktails in 2018, I never. I mean, obviously it was a dream that sobriety and non-alcoholic drinks would be as popular as they are now, but honestly, I was not sure it would ever get there. So that's really not that long ago. What six years ago? So much has happened.

Deb:

And I don't think I mentioned that you are the founder of National Mocktail Week. So if I did not mention that, marnie Ray is the founder of National Mocktail Week, that is so cool. That's how we connected. That is how we connected, yeah, because my husband and I it was some national something day and I was was like, do we have a national mocktail day? Is there a national mocktail day? And I looked it up and, sure enough, there was a whole national mocktail week. So I thank you that you made it a week, not just a day.

Marnie Rae:

How did you decide on doing it as a week?

Deb:

Yeah.

Marnie Rae:

I thought there was just so much to celebrate and at the time I felt like I mean, I had big plans because there were so many opportunities to do a lot of fun things with it. But things change and we did celebrate National Mocktail Week for a couple years and then I moved on to other things. But we're here today and now everybody else gets to celebrate National Mocktail Week and that makes me so happy. I love looking at the hashtag on Instagram when it's during the week. I can just see all these people that are posting and celebrating and it's just, it's so amazing.

Deb:

It is so amazing and the Mocktail Summit that I host last year was the first year that I did it and I did it during National Mocktail Week and it was, I mean, I really wanted to honor you and what you have done to make such an impact in this space. Sorry, I'm getting emotional, but just I think about, like think about years ago that you, that you did that and like what to see it now how this space is exploding, exploding exploding.

Deb:

So your impact will make a difference forever. You have a legacy in the in the mocktail space. Thank you for saying that. I mean it. Okay, now that we're crying, let's make a drink. Let's make a drink. Girl, you want to make a drink? I have my table up a little bit higher. I don't know if I even need to have it up higher, but, okay, I have a glass. I already got some ice in my glass. I'm going to use a highball glass, but you can use anything you want and it's going to be about two ounces of.

Deb:

I'm going to use Kaleño, it's a different from the oh, that's a new one this is so good, it's a rum alternative.

Marnie Rae:

I got the ritual which I'm going to be honest, I have never tried. We've tried the ritual gin and when I open it up and I can smell it, it it's like I'm smelling rum. It's shocking. Well, I mean, it's like a little bit like whoa like. Is this really zero proof Cause? Yeah it's a it is.

Deb:

It smells, just like rum, huh.

Marnie Rae:

Yes, we're going to put in about two ounces.

Deb:

It's really yummy, Okay, Right in your little glass. I'm like okay, there we go. We're doing two ounces of rum. We're going to do about half an ounce of lime juice. I would say about because you can add. If you love lime, you can add more lime. Oh good, You've got your squeezer. Look at your pretty squeezer there.

Marnie Rae:

I do.

Deb:

That's a nice squeezer, isn't that the same as yours? No, this is like the cheapy cheap one. What do you have there? Is it like Williams-Sonoma? What is that?

Marnie Rae:

I have no idea. It's oh Chef'n, c-h-e-f, apostrophe N. No idea where I got it that looks really, really nice.

Deb:

Okay, put in our lime juice. I'm putting it directly in my glass, but you can measure it out. You can use store-bought lime juice, you can use whatever you want. Then we're just going to top it with ginger. This is such an easy drink to make my favorite kind of drinks the easy ones that taste delicious. You can use a zero sugar.

Marnie Rae:

I have Betty Buzz. What kind of ginger to fear did you get?

Deb:

I have Q mixers. You've got the Betty.

Marnie Rae:

Buzz Very nice you get. I have Q mixers. You've got the Betty Buzz. Very nice yeah.

Deb:

Betty Buzz. I've never had it. This is all. This is all new to me. I used Betty Buzz. I think I recommended that or it was one of the. She's like a lemon lime sparkling and I used that in one of the drinks I think it's called Taste and See with Gary Vee and I'm pretty sure I had recommended thing Marnie. I don't know if I remember, but I'm pretty sure I mentioned her brand in the book. Okay, topping it with a little ginger beer. I love that. This is all new to you. I know it's not funny, though.

Marnie Rae:

You'd think I would be a little more up on my game here, but you are just doing good.

Deb:

Okay, I hope you love this. I'm going to garnish the little lime. I have a. I like the stainless steel straws. Do you like stainless steel straws? I don't really like straws. Oh, I love straws. Okay, cheers to you. Cheers, Big time cheers to you my friend, thank you for coming in to celebrate the happiest hour with me.

Marnie Rae:

Thank you for inviting me. I'm so happy to be here.

Deb:

Thank you so much.

Marnie Rae:

Oh, that's pretty good.

Deb:

Like that.

Marnie Rae:

I do.

Deb:

A little easy dark and stormy oh that's pretty good.

Marnie Rae:

Okay, good, oh good.

Deb:

I'm glad you like it so easy, Easy right Easy so easy.

Marnie Rae:

Yeah, I'll save the shaking and the fancy garnishes and all that for the restaurants and the bars. They can do that for me. They can do that, yes, I and the bars they can do that for me.

Deb:

They can do that. Yes, I don't always want to do that. There are plenty of recipes like that in the book with the shaking.

Marnie Rae:

Are there. I can't wait to try. I'm so proud of you for the book. This is so fun for me to see Like a whole book about mocktails made by my friend.

Deb:

It's really. This is really crazy. Yes, it's really. It's been a very crazy experience. I'm very I was not, I think, as I've told you, not thinking I was going to do this, so this kind of came out of nowhere, but it's been really. I'm really really glad it's coming out and it's coming out on election day, so if anybody has not ordered, it's coming out on election day, the happiest hour. You can pre-order now. But I think it's perfect because America is going to need mocktails.

Marnie Rae:

Don't you think?

Deb:

Yeah, I do, it's going to be an emotional day, I think, whether people are celebrating or commiserating, they're going to want to drink, right, and that's kind of like how it goes with drinking right. It's like, oh, it's a happy time, let's drink. Oh, it's a sad time, let's drink. So let's give them some mocktails to drink.

Marnie Rae:

Agreed, and this is perfect. A dark and stormy is actually perfect for that day.

Deb:

Maybe this is the Okay. Yes, it really is. Well, maybe not.

Marnie Rae:

Maybe, I guess, your opinion on who's? We won't talk politics.

Deb:

Depends on who wins. Right Depends on who wins. I just ordered I'm going to do some Instagram videos or whatever and I just ordered like a Harris glass and a Trump glass. And then I ordered a Harris hat and a Trump hat and I thought like I could make some videos with like no matter who you're voting for, like not getting political on Instagram, but whoever you're voting for, you're going to need a mocktail, or two let's have a mocktail.

Marnie Rae:

Yes, exactly, let's have a mocktail.

Deb:

Yes, yes, this is happening. Okay, some of you know that I accidentally stopped drinking when I did a challenge to take a month off from alcohol my BFF Chardonnay. And now I live an alcohol-free lifestyle and I absolutely love it. But I also realized that's not for everybody. Originally my goal was just to moderate. I wanted to learn how to moderate. So you might be thinking I would love to cut back a bit, but I am not ready to quit cold turkey, so you don't have to. I have a little tip for you. It's called Sunnyside. It's the number one alcohol moderation app in the United States and maybe it would be a fit for you if you're looking for no pressure, just support and tools to help you actually drink less. With Sunnyside, you set your own pace, track your drinks and connect with a community of people who get it. You pick a plan that fits your goals and, the best part, 96% of people who use Sunnyside drink less after just 90 days. That's huge. So if you're ready to cut back your drinking without feeling overwhelmed, maybe give Sunnyside a shot. Visit the link in the show notes to get a free 15-day trial and check out Sunnyside for yourself.

Deb:

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Deb:

Globally available. Look for Giesen 0% wines wherever you shop for your non-alcoholic options. Their family of alcohol-free wines include the most effervescent member of the family, the sparkling brute 0%, which is absolutely delicious for any celebration. My personal favorite although I do love them all is the Sauvignon Blanc, coming in at only 100 calories for the entire bottle, and, not to be missed, the other members of their 0% family, the Riesling, the Premium Red Blend, the Rosé, the Pinot Gris. With Giesen's 0% wines, there's a de-alcoholized wine for everyone and every occasion. Give Giesen a try and let me know how much you love it. And if you want to meet their winemaker, go back to episode 33 of the podcast, where Duncan Shuler joined me to share about the Giesen story. Okay, so what is happening with you? What going on over there? Let's do a little catch up, since your last episode, episode 11, it's been forever.

Marnie Rae:

Uh, it's been a couple of years probably since we chatted, so, um, not much um. When we talked I had recently retired from our family business due to a medical diagnosis and all is well there. I have stage four lung cancer with brain mets. That is all stable Right now. They're not seeing anything on the scan, so my medication is working and so that's exciting. Amazing, I'm still retired. I plan to stay that way. I am working back in our business right now as we're training some new staff and, as we talked about earlier, I have forgotten what it's like to work full time and then have to go home and pay bills and grocery shop and cook dinner and do all those things. I don't know how I did it with kids, but my son just left for college my last kid at home, so I'm coming home to an empty house and then my oldest daughter just got married, so it's been an emotional last month for us. So I think we're still just kind of finding our footing about how life looks with just the two of us in the house.

Deb:

Yeah, I mean right. So your daughter just got married. One of your daughters you got two girls. You got got three kids and your son is now off at school. So coming home and it's like, okay, this is a new stage.

Marnie Rae:

It's really strange. It's going to take some time to adjust. It's not a bad thing. I miss him terribly, but I'm so excited for him. I know he's going to thrive where he is and he's going to do so well. So I'm excited for him, but I do, I do really miss him. It's just, you know, and he was 19 when he left, so it wasn't like he was ever here all the time. Anyway, he had a job and friends and he wasn't hanging out with his parents but, um, something about just knowing he was around or he was going to be home or it was just nice.

Deb:

So right now, like we don't even have enough dishes to fill the dishwasher every day. Yeah, let's talk about challenge, challenges of an empty nester, okay so, yes, you're not running the dishwasher every day, right? You're not finding all his cups, probably up in his room and all over the house, right?

Marnie Rae:

Or just and laundry. You know, I was doing laundry every day is fine, but now it's like I don't really even have enough to do a load every day and the garbage is cut in half. I mean, it's just really weird things that you didn't even really think about. It'll take some time, but it's good, it's all.

Marnie Rae:

These are all good things in my life a lot of emotions and to be able to walk through that sober yeah you know, I remember, um, so I got sober through you know, a 12-step program and I remember sitting in a meeting one day and somebody talking about because, you know, kind of the perception is that you drink when times are hard, you had a bad day or you're going through something difficult and, truthfully, I drank when things were good. You know, I drank when we're celebrating, I drank to be happy or happier so, but it never really occurred to me that that was going to be the case. So, yeah, we drink when times are good and bad both, but it feels good to be able to have these feelings and to acknowledge them and then move on.

Deb:

Yeah, and work through them, so you had a sub stack. We're not gonna talk about that, though, because you have a blog. You have a blog. That's what we're gonna talk, I do. Yeah, okay, you're an excellent writer.

Marnie Rae:

Thank you. I love to write. I just something I really enjoy. I started a sub stack and I which is wonderful, I had a great time but I have a beautiful blog that was designed for me a year or two ago that I don't know why I wasn't using it, so kind of just moving everything over there. I love to write. I love to tell stories.

Marnie Rae:

My favorite thing to write about, though, is other people, and I always talked about that with my friend when I was making the mocktails back in 2018.

Marnie Rae:

I'm like I want to tell other people's stories about either getting sober or, you know, making non-alcoholic drinks, or their experiences, so I just keep coming back to that, and the stories that are fascinating me now, at my 56 years old stage of life, are women like you that have kind of pivoted in midlife and are really pursuing the things that make them feel fulfilled. So you know you, getting sober in midlife. I have a friend who used to work in a hospital as a hospital administrator, and now she owns and runs a flower farm. I have another friend who, you know, worked for a public school, and now she's a well-known fashion influencer, and I just it fascinates me and inspires me, and I think you know we have, the world is limitless for us. Life is kind of what we make it and I just it fascinates me and inspires me, and I think you know we have, the world is limitless for us. Life is kind of what we make it and I love seeing these women out there taking those steps to do what they love.

Deb:

Yeah, yeah, it is limitless and it's it's not over, right, we hit our 50s, it's not over.

Marnie Rae:

I feel like it's almost the beginning.

Deb:

It does feel that way, doesn't it? I feel like it's almost the beginning.

Marnie Rae:

It does feel that way, doesn't it? It does? I feel like we're just smarter for one thing. And you know, for some of us, our kids have gone and we have more time on our hands, we have more flexibility to maybe pursue the things that are interesting to us. But for me, I think I just don't care anymore. What people think that was a really nice place to be at this age of life is just be like. You know, if I want to be a fashion influencer, if I want to be a flower farmer, who cares? If it makes me happy, then who cares?

Deb:

I love that and I love on your Instagram yes, like as a fashion, like you've been posting cute pictures of you with like some of your cute clothes all your clothes are so cute everything. But just to do what makes you happy makes you happy.

Marnie Rae:

Yeah.

Deb:

Was it your cancer diagnosis that like kind of gave you more stability in that?

Marnie Rae:

Oh for sure, that was definitely the instigator, kind of the turning point for me, Because I worked so many years in our, you know, helping to grow our business. Kind of a turning point for me because I worked so many years in our, you know, helping to grow our business. We've been in business as a construction company for over 30 years and it was always my second job. You know I would. I would have to have a full-time job to help pay the bills, raise the kids, and then I'd have to come home at night and do the books. So I've worked in the company for 30 plus years and it felt good to contribute, for sure, to our business.

Marnie Rae:

I'm proud of what we built, but it never really fulfilled me and I kind of wanted to have something of my own but I just couldn't. I wasn't ready to take that step or make that decision, and I didn't even know what that meant, honestly. And then when I got the cancer diagnosis, I thought, you know, it's now or never. Honestly, you know, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it now. I don't want to go back to doing something that I don't love because I don't know how much longer I have to have the opportunity to do something I do love.

Deb:

Yeah, yeah To have that diagnosis and that realization.

Marnie Rae:

But like we can have that realization without a cancer diagnosis right, like you don't need a cancer diagnosis to reprioritize your life.

Deb:

You don't and to give ourselves permission, like it's okay, to say this is not fulfilling me anymore, or maybe it did for years, and I want to change and do something totally different. You know.

Marnie Rae:

Well, and I think it comes down to self-care also, and acknowledging what it is that we want and need in life, because I think we've just spent, you know, mostly as women, I think we spend so much time taking care of other people, and so to be able to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally is sometimes a new thing. I know, you know I always talked about self-care for years and I don't even know that I was doing that kind of a job. What do you do now?

Deb:

for self-care for years and I don't even know that I was doing that good of a job. What do you do now for self-care? Just retirement? I want to join you. That would give me joy.

Marnie Rae:

I think it's a little bit of a mind game, I tell you, because I've spent 30 plus years doing the hustle and grind and so to not have that is a little bit makes me uneasy sometimes, like if I'm just I don't have plans for today, like I feel kind of lazy and I need to start changing my attitude about that. And everything I do doesn't have to be for money. I'm not trying to earn a living, I'm not trying to pay my bills. So being able to do something just for fun, that's a whole new concept for me. For fun, that's a whole new concept for me. But I just right now I'm just trying to keep my stress level low. So I'm being selective about opportunities that I take or people that I spend time with to try and manage my stress level. And then I my daughter's personal trainer, so I'm at the gym with her usually a couple times a week and then walking has been amazing. I'm so bummed I can't keep up with your 10,000 steps a day. I tried.

Deb:

I missed a couple days. I did miss a couple days. I haven't done every single day. So I'm like trying to make up my steps. I'm like I'm getting to a million before the election day.

Marnie Rae:

It's crazy when you think about that number, but it is hard, it is hard. I didn't either. I was clueless, I didn't know.

Deb:

Let's do 10,000 steps a day. Let's just do it, you know, for a hundred days which you know I should just keep doing it. It's so healthy, right. So good for your brain, health, everything. But like, for some reason, I just thought it'd be so easy. It's not easy, I'm all talk, it's not easy.

Marnie Rae:

It's time consuming. I was surprised at how much time it took.

Deb:

Yes, right, that's what you and I were saying. Like it's like an hour and a half, I mean, depending on how long, how fast you're walking or whatever, but like hour to an hour and a half easily to get the steps in. Yeah, I was out last night. I texted you last night. Yes, I was out with my vest on.

Marnie Rae:

I couldn't believe you texted me because it was late. I'm like oh my God, I'm probably waking her up.

Deb:

No, no, yeah. Deb's in front of her house walking back and forth with my light up vest on. I look like, oh my gosh, whatever people I'm like and I have a headlamp sometimes I'll wear, just because our streets so dark.

Marnie Rae:

It's going to get even darker here soon, I'm sure, so you are committed.

Deb:

It's going to be five o'clock, I'll have that thing on. Yes, yes, yeah. Well, marnie, you are conquering the dark days, you are.

Marnie Rae:

Yes, and we all have them. You know cancer diagnosis, divorce. You know kids issues with your kids we all have them. Nobody gets away, you know, scot-free without having some drama in their life. So being able to navigate that sober is a pretty special thing.

Deb:

It's huge. It's so huge. I'm so glad that we could spend time together. Just a little catch up.

Marnie Rae:

Thank you for inviting me. You are so special to me and I just to see you out there making the mocktails is just such a dream of mine. I mean, it's just and it's you like. You are such a light to everybody.

Deb:

Thank you.

Marnie Rae:

I couldn't wish anybody better for this journey. I'm so proud. It's you.

Deb:

Well, the Mocktail Summit is dedicated to you, I don't know. Last year I kicked it off with a welcome message to everybody who came and I told them about you and told them that this Mocktail Summit is really just in honor of you and all that you've done to move the mocktail movement forward and to lead the way. So I am forever grateful and so happy that we connected like through this crazy thing called Instagram.

Deb:

Like we've never met in person, but I just love you so much and I'm so, so grateful for you and I'm so glad, like you're doing well your health and you're able to be in retirement and be in a peaceful place.

Marnie Rae:

Thank you.

Deb:

Not always having something to do. Yes, thank you. I'll send you my to-do list. How's that? I can always share with you. I'll be very generous with my to-do list. Thanks, marnie, you're having a day where there's nothing on your list. I love you, my friend, big on your list.

Marnie Rae:

I love you, my friend. Big time cheers.

Deb:

Thank you for making this drink with me, thank you for coming to celebrate the happiest hour.

Deb:

The happiest hour. Congratulations. I cannot wait to talk, thank you. Thank you Big time. Cheers to you for tuning into the Thriving Alcohol-Free Podcast. I hope you will take something from today's episode and make one small change that will help you to thrive and have fun in life without alcohol. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social, send up a flare or leave a rating and a review. I am cheering for you as you discover the world of non-alcoholic drinks and as you journey towards authentic freedom. See you, discover the world of non-alcoholic drinks and as you journey towards authentic freedom. See you in the next episode.