Using Acting Skills Beyond The Stage For Emotional Control, Empathy, & Awareness

Today, I sit down with James Rojas‑Taylor to explore how acting techniques can be applied far beyond the stage and into everyday life. We discuss emotional literacy, emotional regulation, and why most people are never taught how to understand, control, or intentionally use their emotions. Mr. Rojas-Taylor explains how tools developed in professional acting can help people navigate relationships, leadership, stress, and identity with greater awareness and control.

Mr. Rojas-Taylor shares how his early experiences, military service in the U.S. Marine Corps, and career as an actor shaped a unique system for understanding human behavior. We break down practical frameworks such as situational awareness, intentional empathy, and structured self-reflection, including how actors rehearse emotional responses and decision-making before stepping into high-pressure moments. This conversation highlights how these same tools can be used in job interviews, conflict resolution, parenting, and personal growth.

We also discuss his book All Your Best Selves, which serves as a guide for applying acting methodologies—such as the Stanislavski system, behavioral observation, and emotional rehearsal—to real life. This episode challenges the idea that emotional intelligence is innate and instead presents it as a teachable skill that can transform how individuals interact with the world, regulate their emotions, and lead healthier, more intentional lives.

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Transcript

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and the evil that men does lives after them. The good is often turd in the bones, and that is one of my favorite quotes from Shakespeare. Just in the, you know, the essence of today's conversation we're gonna be talking about.

Acting and using acting techniques and tools and applying them to real life beyond the stage, along with a lot of other stuff. We're gonna cover some great information today, the idea of emotional and mental literacy, and we are here with James Rojas Taylor to talk about that. He's also a US Marine veteran.

So we're gonna start there. But Mr. Rojas Taylor, would you please introduce yourself for us?  Uh, yeah. Thank you for having me on show. I really appreciate Mr. Whiskey, uh, your time and opportunity. Um, my name's Jim. I'm from Jersey, uh, live in Alabama right now, serving in the Marine Corps. I've had like six somewhat jobs over the course of my life.

Non-acting jobs that is, uh, traveled around a lot. Um, but the acting gig, that's kind of what really, I guess is the pointy part of my life, that that's where this knowledge comes from.  Um, I traced this all the way back to when I was four years old. When I was four years old, my parents took me to a midnight mass and simply put, it freaked me out.

When, uh, we started talking about eternity, the constant eternity hit me, and it, it was simply that I, I realized that if there's no middle, if there's no end, there's no middle, there's no middles, perpetual beginning. So what do I do with that kind of time? Eventually, I'm gonna do everything multiple times over, and how do I not do the same?

Fordham? So Fordham freaked me out.  Um, what I did, I regressed into my head and instinctively I started using my brain as a computer.  I started creating programs for myself, and two of my earliest programs were, were I referred to as my suits and bubbles. My suits were essentially different versions of myself.

Anytime I met someone, I would actively listen. I would copy them who they were mentally and emotionally, and make a version of them as myself so I could see their eyes. My bubbles were essentially like the Holodeck Star Trek universe. They could anytime, any place under any circumstances. So I would take these suits, put 'em in bubbles, and work out different scenarios.

So if I had to make a choice, I would just run through my suits and bubbles to make the best choice I could to see all the event choices.  Um, flash forward to when I started into acting. Uh, 2003 is when I got in. But 2008 I was doing this film called Hunger and, uh, I wasn't even on camera. This actor, Lyndon Asby was on camera. 

So I wasn't in character.  And I remember after, uh, the, the director yelled, cut, Lyndon reached over and shook my hand, like I pulled his kid out of a fire and I couldn't understand it. And it took me like maybe a month or so afterward before I realized that  even though I wasn't on camera, I was still present.

I was there with him in the moment. So when I said my lines. It was still enough to give back. 'cause the problem is when you have those situations that a lot of actors who are off camera will just blah, blah, blah, their lines, and they're not giving to their scene partners, so their scene partner on camera to do their best work.

Mm. Even though it wasn't the character I was giving because I was using these tools and techniques inherent,  it was when I realized that was like my, I call it my Highlander moment, my quickening moment where everything about acting in life made sense because.  My suits were essentially characters. My bubbles are a form of stanky's magic.

If I've been using a variation of these acting techniques my whole life to give me an edge over my counterparts, um, I've used it to give me a, a myriad of soft skills, speed up my thinking. It's just there's so many different tools that are allowed. Emotional regulation, my empathy off the charts. So it's all of these things that I've built over my life that once I hit acting, I realized, whoa, this is all teachable. 

So once I got to that point, I,  I realized that basically it's just giving a new form of literacy to mankind and something that we need. Because even in the world now, it's like, think about relationships, uh, with women and men. Women always complain that men lack empathy and listening. These are two skills that are taught.

Think about adolescents generation after generation. For millennia, we've been sending teens through adolescents where they're hitting, getting hit with these emotions and we've done nothing to help them. Why don't we teach them how to grow and develop their emotions when they're toddlers and in elementary school so when they hit adolescence, it's not gonna be that big of a hit.

'cause adolescence wasn't a big problem for me emotionally because I developed my emotions so much prior to that.  So I'm saying the applications to this are off the chart because you have to appreciate this with,  as actors,  the marble that we use to create our art.  Is the human mind and emotions. That's what we chiseled to make ourselves.

We use real emotions in imaginary circumstance. We build a real working mindset for use on the stage, but the human brain doesn't know the difference between the imaginative and real life. 'cause these are just tools. So it just works. We only have one brain. So what I'm saying is if we take these tools and techniques, give them to people throughout the world, we'll change the world.

Because now it's just like with math and reading, it allowed the common person. To get in the game. If you can read and you can do math, you can do science, and you can learn well, if you have emotional, uh, literacy, you can emotionally regulate, you know? So we're giving people more tools to get in there and grow and develop themselves, and once they do, who knows what they'll discover. 

Right. So let's get into what is your de definition of emotional literacy? What does that look like for people who aren't understanding what you mean by that?  Sure. Um, it's simple. It's basically, like I said, to me, emotional literacy is being able to feel your emotions at any point in time. They're your emotions.

You should be able to feel whichever emotion whenever you want to feel it. When an actor, well,  it, it varies for actors. 'cause you have, like any job, you have people who are good at their job, people are mediocre at their job, people are great at job. I'm talking about the high end quality actors, the ones on the top shelf. 

When they get on stage and they feel their emotions, they're feeling real emotions, they're summoning that energy. 'cause you have to appreciate too emotions. They're just energy. They're flavored energy. Like when an actor, uh, has a script, a script is a coloring book. Our soul, our emotions for the actor, that's the box of crayons.

That's what we color in. So things like,  uh, intensity, when people say, oh, you're so intense. Oh, you're so passionate. That's emotion. That's you.  Using your emotions to do work for you. Some people do it inherently. What I'm saying is we can teach people how to, all people how to do that. So things like, um,  to be able to feel what you wanna feel like, like if you're in a job interview and you're feeling nervous, you can cut that nerves off.

And granted there's clinical levels of certain things too, like depression. Uh, you can turn certain levels of depression on it's clinical depression. That's a whole nother thing. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the common everyday feeling of, yeah.  You can take charge of that. You can control that.

If you're feeling down in the dumps, you can reverse that feeling and turn into a feeling of joy or happiness if you're in control, and that's what I'm saying about emotional literacy. If you take the time to do this, these work, these tools and techniques, you'll be able to understand how you feel in a way to exercise.

However you wanna feel those emotions, whenever you wanna feel them. It's very much like going to the gym. When you go to the gym, you're working out certain muscles to do certain things. Same thing with emotions. You gotta work. You have to feel them. That's how you work them out. As you go through these process and feel all these, each individual emotions, you strengthen and grow them, and then you can blend them into each other.

Like I said, it's, it's remarkable what we learned to do as actors.  Right. And I think about, the example I went to in my head was when actors and actresses have to cry and they have to be truly sad, like their family just died or something just happened. Even if it's never happened to them. And you can tell the difference between an acting actress who's good at that and who's bad at that.

You, you know, there's, there you can see realism in, you know, movies and shows, or lack thereof. So you talk about emotional regulation and, you know, working through our emotions. And I, I wanna pivot to talk about the adolescence and helping them through that, especially the sooner the better. So how do we teach them this emotional regulation?

How do we have them work through their emotions?  Well, there's different exercises and tools. Uh, one simple one that I always like to start off with, it's called a stanski system. This came about a hundred years ago. 'cause really quick, uh, western acting is about a 2,500 year timeline. The first 2100 years, it was all representation, pretend masking.

That's what people think acting is over the next 300 years. It kind of changed in the p Victorian area and a couple of different changes in there. It moved into realism. Around, uh, 1900. This gentleman named Constantine Slosky, uh, a Russian actor. He made it philosophical. I mean, he's known as the father or the grandfather of acting.

Right now, all the schools are pretty much derived from him,  but his system is basic. It's seven questions. These seven questions are designed to break down a moment to show you how many choices you have in that moment. 'cause we don't teach that to people. Outbreak, like the moment you're walking into is generally the first time, and we have no idea what's going on.

These seven questions are a base set to break it down. Alright,  number one,  who am I? This is the moment in relation to you. Who are you in the moment? What's the role you play? Am I a dad? Am I a brother? Am I a student? What is my role in the moment? Be self-aware. You know, what's a common question? Number two, where am I?

This is the moment in the relation to the environment you're in to be aware of the environment. What's going on, what's going, what's coming? What are the patterns?  Uh, when is it? This is the moment in relation to time. You gotta be aware of these things. 'cause like, am I by, am I about to get in the road right before rush hour?

You know, am I about to talk to my boss before he is had something to eat? You know, so time is a factor. Number four, what do I want? This is the moment in relation to purpose. What are you doing? You know, why are you here? Uh, actually why is the next question? Uh, number five is why do I want it? This is the moment in relation to desire.

And it's important to know the what and the why, because if you don't, you can get 'em crossed, like somebody else could intervene your life and have you doing their why.  Uh, number six, how do I get it? This is the moment in relation to action so that it's the plan you're actually putting forth due to, so you're not just thinking about it, you're making action.

And number seven is what's in my way. This is the moment in relation to obstacles. So like, you know, if I'm going for a job interview.  How many other applicants are there? What do they know that I don't? What can they bring to the table that I don't have? So, being aware of that.  So these are basically seven questions that are designed to break down the moment.

And you can ask more questions, you can add on, you can build from there. This is just a base set. Now, what this does is kind of think of it like this. It's kind of like sonar. You got a submarine under the ocean, right? You can't see anything. So it sends out a ping. The ping tells it like, you know, there's other subs out, there's ships on the surface, they're dropping death charts.

There's a whale over to your left. This is the same thing. This is about building situational awareness. So when you walk into a room, ping, all these questions go out and they bring back all this information. And in doing so, this is where you would also apply your emotions. So you're creating the situation now, how do you feel it,  you know, summon your emotions And it's not, it's, at first it's gonna be a little messy 'cause you're, most people are working at level one.

So you gotta play with like your emotions, like they're clay, you know, just feel 'em a little bit. But as you grow into it, you know, you'll feel that there's more tension to it. You'll, you'll feel more strength and then you'll feel the energy just kind of flowing through you. And that's kind of what actors do.

Like when you're talking about tears. Like one point, because it's not always just sad tears. You'll be tears of joy, you know? Tears of confusion. Yeah.  In, uh, Denzel, I dunno if you saw that film. Glory.  Uh, Denzel has a great scene in it where he just drops one tear, he's getting whipped and he just drops one tear down and it's like the control of your body to just have one tear, drop it down, and then just for the camera. 

I mean, generally it's not something that, uh, like something like that. I imagine he can't just do on the spot. He had to build up to it. But still it's about having that control over your body. 'cause again, these are our bodies, these are our minds, these are our emotions. How much control do you really have over, you know, like  if you had kids, how would you tell them to control their emotions?

What tools would you give them? We don't have that as a society, so if we give them to 'em, we have the potential to raise a whole new generation of more mentally and emotionally capable people than we've ever seen before, because they now have a path to walk on instead of wandering in the woods all just willy-nilly. 

So those seven questions that you went through there, I mean, so when do you recommend people use that list of seven questions? Is it every time something major happens? Is it every day? Like how do you use it in your life and how should we implement it? It's a lifestyle. Every moment. These are questions you ask every moment.

It's like you send a ping out. If you have any question in your mind about the situation, you're in. Ping, ping. It's just, like I said, it's just like a submarine.  If you feel confident in the situation you're in, you're good. If you don't changes, the circumstances changes, shoot out a p real quick ask. And again,  as you live your 'cause, your life, all of our lives are different.

And Stan, Stan STAs even said, he's like, don't, uh, stick slavishly to my system. You know, create your own, because all of our lives are a little different. So your questions may need to be more fine tuned than someone else's. So that's what you'll want to do. Again, this is all about gaining understanding of the moment you're in, so knowing what you're doing.

'cause if you have your bearings, you're more grounded. If you're more grounded, you can make better choices. The problem most people have is when they go into the moment, they don't pre-rehearsed it at all. That's what I said. That's the thing with magic if, and my, uh, my bubbles, it allows me an environment and it allows the magic if allows the actor an environment to rehearse beforehand.

So whenever you need to go in a situation that's important to you. Why go in it the first time, real life? Why not rehearse all the different things that can be said? What questions a person can ask? What directions, what different paths the conversation can go, or wherever you need to do if you prep all that beforehand.

Now when you're actually in the situation, you're in a better position than the person you're talking to. If it's like an interview or a meeting or something like that, and you can steer it in a direction you want because you've answered the question.  So you talk about living a very amorphous life, having your collection of suits and bubbles.

How do you balance that with authenticity? I mean, who is, you know, the real you or do you feel like the real you is just a constantly evolving and changing person?  I feel real me is all of it. I'm an amalgamation of all of, 'cause essentially what I've done is I've,  I've allowed my, because it's not, they're not pretend, they're not facades.

These are, it's like the, you ever see heard, you know, the theory of multiple personality or multiple universes where you have different versions of you, these universes. All I've essentially done is take all those different versions of me from other universes and bring them into this universe through my mind and emotions.

So they're all me. They're different versions  and it's allowing me to explore and experience the world in a way that I haven't met anyone else who has, because even actors who do this, they do it for the imaginative, they only do it for the characters. I do it with everyone I meet. Like every time I sit down and talk to someone and have a conversation or just, you know, make new friends, I'm trying to figure out what version of me would look, what would look like for me as a version of them.

And it, it ties into, I'm not sure if you're, you're familiar with, uh, psychodrama, Dr. Joseph Levy Moreno and the 1950s he created psychodrama and he has this, uh, amazing poem. I don't know the poem intact, but one part of it. And it's very visceral. He's like, I'm gonna tear my eyes out. I'm gonna tear my eyes out and put them in place of yours and I'm gonna tear yours eyes out and put them mine, you know?

And he's making that thing 'cause And he makes it visceral because it's important. It is that serious. It's not something that's  pedantic  when you take a moment, like in psychodrama, when you're trying to look through someone eyes, you're trying to reach a level of empathy. 'cause that's what empathy is.

It's understanding, it's seeing someone else's through their eyes to understand what you would look like in that place. And that's what I feel like acting as a vault, ultimate empathy.  It literally allows us to become any other human being mentally or emotionally. Now think about the implications of that.

Like someone who's shy or doesn't know how to get out. Well, maybe that's because no one ever taught them the tools and techniques to be more robust. If you teach them improv techniques, you can teach them how to be the life of the party, literally. If they can get out there and know how to crack jokes because they're understanding how the environment works.

And it's going to show that this is more than that because this is working with kids with autism, uh, sense theater, I think in, uh, Memphis, maybe it's in Tennessee, I'm pretty sure, but they're working with kids with autism and what they're essentially doing is like,  we're acting. You have a script. The script tells you what to do.

Those are your givens. When you're doing improv, you don't have a script. You're making the lines of.  So you have to understand how the play works because, I dunno if you're familiar with long form improv. Yeah. But long form improv. Yeah. It's a two hour play where you make a beginning, middle, and end just like that.

Yeah. The only way you can is by understanding the mechanics of improv is how the plays work. Well what sense theater is done is they're using those tools and techniques to teach autistic kids how to understand how uh society runs in a sense. So they don't have to pick up on social cues. They can understand.

They understand beforehand. They're looking behind the curtain so they understand how things work. They're explaining it to 'em. So it's like it's showing how these techniques transcend just imagination in play. They reach out and touch people's lives and help them. Trauma drama's another one. It's uh, I believe in Massachusetts.

What they do is they're taking teens who have been dealt with real trauma. They're using these tools and techniques to allow them. To work through different traumas unrelated to their own so they can build up tools and techniques to deal with trauma that they can later take back to their own.  So it's like reverse engineering, uh, healing board. 

Yeah. And you know, I also want to get into, you know, we're talking about ways to implement this into our life. Your book, all Your Best Selves. Can you tell us what role that plays in all of this? Is it kind of like your way of getting this message besides podcasting and another way of getting that message out to people?

And is it kind of like a guidebook for, you know, not only people to implement this into their lives, but to help teach other people how to do it?  Yes. Uh, it's. There's three different parts to my book. Um, I'm, I'm still learning to 'cause like, I'm not an author, I guess I am an author, but it was never something I was intent to be right.

It, it was the idea in my head and I was trying to get it out when I came. The book, uh, the three different parts. The first part is talking about my, it's kind of autobiographical. It's short, but it talks about my life in relation to the act.  The second part of the book talks about the idea using techniques of life.

The third part is what I refer to as the toolbox. Um, I only break into three techniques, but it's a lot. It's the bulk of the book. It's the biggest part. Um, it's the Stanovsky system, the Meisner technique, which teaches how to read, uh, behavior, listening skills, and, uh, OODA Hogan's exercises, which again, breaks down the moment.

But these three, uh, these are three of many masters out there. And in the intangible toolbox, I put these in here. So it allows people to see how these techniques work. For actors in the acting arena, side by side with how they work, how they can work in the real world with exercises. So people can take this book, use the intangible toolbox, and implement these exercises in real time as soon as they get it, and start building themselves.

Because like I said, this is about growing yourself mentally and emotionally, and that's what these tools do. They build soft skills in you that you didn't know you had.  Yeah, for sure. And you know.  How does this all relate back to, so your military service, I mean, did you feel like you were kind of acting, playing the role of a marine the whole time?

Or how did that go hand in hand with this in your transition into acting, uh, post-service?  Well, the thing is, uh, acting came after service, but I think acting is the wrong way to look at it too.  Acting is a, it's passe. It's a, it's a dated term.  We're not acting.  We're being, this is about how to be human,  and that's what actors do now.

We become different humans. We're not acting, we're not pretending that mindset is kind of,  it's giving the wrong,  so when I was a Marine, I never thought I was acting like a Marine. I knew I was a Marine. I was a marine. And that's the same sense I take to every role. When I get on a stage, that's who I am.

Um, it, I don't. Think like I'm portraying this person, I'm, I mean, I understand there's, 'cause they always say there's this whole thing back in your head. You know where reality is, right? Once you get on the stage, I'm not portraying it. I'm living, it's all about living that life. And these tools and techniques teach you how to live in the moment.

And more than that, it's like if you ever think about a Broadway actor who does, uh, eight shows a week, maybe three months solid, that's hundreds of shows. But every time show, it's not just that, but every time they do a show. They have to create the illusion of the first time. Mm-hmm. The illusion. This is the first time this is happening.

'cause it is for the audience members. So that's another skill that people don't think. 'cause every, like if you're a, a party host, you know, if you're, uh, bringing people into a convention, uh, like a, a chaperone, bring people, every time you greet 'em, you gotta greet 'em. Like, Hey man, how you doing? God, it's great to see it and you're putting it on, but it's not fake.

If it's fake, they'll see it. They'll look. 'cause people are not stupid. They can understand when somebody's just trying to glad hand it versus someone's genuinely using this emotion. And that's what I'm saying, don't act. Find that place inside you that's genuinely receiving and start pouring it into that person.

And when they do, they will feel that and they'll be like, this person genuinely feels a connection. So  that's what I'm saying, use these skills instead of, it's like a smartphone. Most people have, everybody has smartphone, but most people only use 10% of them. Same thing with this supercomputer up here.

Most people only use 10% of it. You can access a lot more. It's just you need the tools and techniques to interface.  Another thing that goes into one of the thoughts I had, which is I know plenty of people who would say, Mr. Whiskey, I, I can't act, I could never, you know, use any of these skills because I just, I, this is not me.

Uh, so, but you're kind of saying that like, you know, anyone can, can learn this, we can learn to be someone else, you know, regardless of skill, level of experience, or. Emotional control, you know? So I think that's important. 'cause there's a lot of people I know who are, who see someone on Broadway or in a movie or a show or a play, or even in province say, I could never do that.

You know? So what would you say to, to those people who really feel like they could never do something like this?  Well, a couple different things. Number one, everybody's gotta start from somewhere. If you're looking at DiCaprio and saying, I could never act, you're looking at a master, right? Yeah. Don't look at the master guy on the ground level.

Um, it's kind of like I'm a huge fan of South Park, this show.  The creators of South Park do not like the first three seasons. I love the first three seasons because the first three seasons remind me that they're not gods, that they were men once and that those first three seasons were crap. That allows me some way to get to them.

So that's what you have to look first. Secondly, you have to appreciate that everybody's already doing this. We, we all act in some formats.  The way I'm sitting when I talk to my grandmother is not the same way I'm gonna behave and act when I'm at the bar with my buddies. Yeah, yeah. We refer to it, it's, yeah, it's life.

We refer to it in the world as code switching. I'm gonna code switch, I'm gonna act a different version of myself with this different peer group, with different family in church, whatever. So we're already doing it. What I'm saying is doing it with intent, that's what you're doing. The tools and technique.

Difference between, you know, yeah, I can't rebuild an engine. We don't need to rebuild an engine. You can change an oil, right? You can put gas in the car, start at the low levels, work from there, and build your way up because everything in life is a learned skill. I'm a firm believer that's all acting is.

It's a learned skill, but this is a learned skill with high rewards. If you take the time, you can do it easily. The thing that scares people a lot is generally the concept of doing it in front of an audience, and that's the beautiful thing. You don't need an audience. This isn't about having an audience, so you don't have to get up in front of people and feel that stage fright or that nervousness.

You can do these tools and techniques in the privacy of your own home, in their privacy of your own life, and they will work just as well as they would for an actor doing it in front of a 10,000 person crowd. So that audience part is irrelevant, but also even with that.  What we refer to as the work, these tools and techniques, this is what prevents stage fright.

'cause what stage fright is, is really not knowing. You don't have all the beats worked out. If you work out all the beats in the moment, do all the, all the things you need to do to figure out where you need to go, move across the stage you're on. 'cause we're all on stages, we're all playing on roles. We may not be on Shakespeare's stage or a New York stage, but when you're in a a boardroom, you're on a stage.

Everybody's playing a role in it. If you understand these tools and techniques, you can play a more active part in that. So you're participating instead of being a bystander. So that's what I'm saying with these tools and techniques, they let you be an active player and they're not hard to get to. So people start at level one, build yourself up slowly, but there's nothing hard about them.

There's nothing, there's no barrier. There's literally no barrier stopping you other than your own nervous.  Yeah, and I believe  it was Shakespeare, if not, um, some other famous person who said, uh, all the worlds of stage, and we're immediately all, you know, actors playing in it. So, yeah, I agree. And like you said, um, it's something we already do, whether it's subconscious or conscious, and just doing that with more intent.

And so as we wrap up here, want, I do want to, you know, plug your website and, and go a little bit over it. I mean, who should check it out? I know you've got your book on there. As well as some other information.  Uh, yeah. Um,  this is, uh, what the cover looks like. It's, uh, called All Your Best Sell.  Uh, it's on Amazon right now.

And if you can check out my website, it's www.tbcenterprises.com. That's TBC as in Tango, Bravo, Charlie. Uh,  basically that's where I got, uh, all my stuff going on right now. And like I said, I'm, I'm still, it's, it's all brand new to me because, I mean, I had the website for a while, but it wasn't really doing much. 

Once I got the book out and then, uh, it kind of stalled a little bit, but like I said, once I started doing the pod match thing, the interview started blowing. It just kind of  revitalized everything. So I'm pushing ahead and trying to see where I go. Like the social media just started up like less than a year ago, so I'm gonna see where that goes as well.

Um, my social media handle soy candy. I'm on Instagram, blue sky, TikTok, and uh, YouTube  and, uh.  Yeah, if you, if you happen to buy the book on, uh, Amazon and read it, it mean a lot to me. If you reviewed it, that it, uh, anyone who's listening, it's, it'd help out. 'cause I know reviews are very important and I'm still learning the ropes.

But, uh, yeah. Thank you for your time and,  uh, I feel good about center.  Yeah. So ladies and gentlemen, be sure to check that out, especially whether it's for yourself or someone else to. Just look a little bit further into the idea of, of being in, you know, whatever circumstance it may be. And I think, I think it's so important for relationships, especially like you said, you know, seeing with someone else's eyes, or as we say down here, walking a country mile in someone else's shoes, you know, and you talked about men needing to be more empathetic and listening and all of this and that.

And I agree because when you can. When you can act, it allows you to maybe be someone who's a little more patient than you naturally are. Be a little more listening and engaged than you are. And you know, having that emotional regulation. And then again, those seven steps, as you mentioned, whether you wanna make it eight or 10, or maybe you need less.

But like you said, having that sonar, that navigation system to.  Constantly be aligned with yourself in take in everything. So I appreciate what you do getting on podcasts, you know, because ultimately I agree that our youth, especially nowadays more than ever, need our help. They need our mentorship and our guidance and our parenting to help them deal with this world.

It's a chaotic world and they need to be ready for it. So I really appreciate what you do.  Thank you very much. I appreciate you having me on and offering me your time.