Breaking The Stigma: Pete Vs Anxiety And Narcissistic Abuse!!!

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Today, I sit down with Pete Dalke, host of Pete Vs Anxiety!!! He shares with us trauma, a severely toxic relationship, and the journey of self-discovery. Mr. Dalke opens up about his childhood abandonment, years of living with undiagnosed anxiety, and the 15-year relationship with a narcissist that left him emotionally, mentally, and financially depleted. We discuss the long-term effects of growing up in a controlling environment, the cycles of abuse that follow into adulthood, and how substances can mask the pain but without proper healing happening. 

Mr. Dalke walks us through the moment that changed everything—when he finally broke free from the toxic relationship. He shares the challenges of raising three daughters during and after the breakup, the heartbreak of parental alienation, and his strategy for giving them space while hoping to rebuild their relationships in the future. We talk about the lasting impacts of losing everything, from possessions to relationships, and the resilience it takes to start over from scratch. 

We also explore the creation of Pete Vs Anxiety!!! and how it grew from a personal turning point into a platform for global mental health conversations. Mr. Dalke reveals the lessons learned from interviewing survivors, veterans, and those facing unimaginable challenges, and why authenticity is the foundation of his work. This is a conversation about breaking the stigma, speaking your truth, and never minimizing your own story. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pete-vs-anxiety/id1736293322

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*Couple O' Nukes LLC and Mr. Whiskey are not licensed medical entities, nor do they take responsibility for any advice or information put forth by guests. Take all advice at your own risk.

Transcript

 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey and Pete. And repeat guested on couple of nukes. Pete Guested first, who was next? Nah. Repeat. You better repeat. Yeah. Good old joke. My grandmother used to tell a joke, Pete and repeat sat on the bench.

Pete fell off who was next and uh, I got trapped in the joke loop for quite a while with my grandma 'cause I was like eight years old. But yeah, we are here with a man named Pete. If you listen to my episode with Steve Wilson, you know. The whole ordeal of how it was gonna be Pete and then Steve Wilson, but then Pete rescheduled.

So Steve Wilson happened before Pete, even though Pete recommended Steve Wilson to me. But we are here. Life happens and Pete is gonna tell us all about his life specifically. Uh, he is Pete from Pete versus Anxiety Amazing podcast. Uh, you should check out that show if you have the chance, specifically episode with Mr.

Whiskey. Uh, not to That's right. Plug your episodes, you know, just to pick a random episode. And, um, but Pete is on there all the time. You, every day he's posting and it's some great stuff. Not to be confused with, uh, Mr. Whiskey versus Women with Anxiety. That show ended about six years ago. So we are here with Pete from Pete versus Anxiety.

I'd love for you to tell us a little bit about yourself, so, and we'll jump right into it. Hey guys, how you doing, Pete From People Society here, the Mental Health podcast, breaking the Stigma, the mental health's not talked about enough. Um, you know, it's, it's been a great man, the show since the beginning.

It's just been an interesting adventure since day one. You know, like ever since I hit record the stories and the things you get into, you just like, you don't realize how deep you're about to get into it. So, halfway through the year when I decided to open up the books even further, we had, you know, some interesting moments and things like that too, in case y'all missed.

The past week, I, I started crying on camera. This lady had me choked up. Like, we get into some deep topics, like we don't leave anything untouched. So, and that's the great thing about the show is that, you know, so many people, I, I get the message all the time, oh, hey, I'm so grateful for what you're doing and things like that too.

And, and it's not just me that it feels grateful. I feel great just because I get to beat all these people. You know, I get to have whiskey on the show and everybody else, Steve and all them, you know, it's been great though. It's been a real great thing since the beginning. Yeah. And so let's go back before the podcasting dates before we hit record.

Let's go all the way back to, I know, from guesting on your show, a bit of a traumatic childhood, especially socially with school and stuff. So let's talk about that and specifically when your anxiety came into play. 'cause obviously p versus anxiety implies that, uh, you, you've been battling anxiety for quite a while.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, and it, it, it came from extended from when my mom abandoned me when was 10, you know, and I didn't realize early on what it was exactly I was dealing with, you know? 'cause you know, you're 10, you don't know how these things work. You know? And as you go through, you know, that sudden feeling of your heart racing and you're getting all like real panicked and thoughts are racing through your head, you know, it's like, you, you don't understand.

That is, and I still didn't understand through high school, you know, I had. Got picked on, like we talked about, you know, I got bullied a lot as a kid and a lot of the outbursts I had was because when those thoughts started going through my head, it was just going so fast. My heart started racing and I just started lashing out on people because I didn't know what this feeling was I was having because my dad and I, we never really had these conversations.

Now I'd been to a therapist before as a kid 'cause my mom was telling me that I had abandonment issues, but it was really her that had the abandonment issues I had early on. Uh, had seen a psychiatrist and, and she said I was perfectly fine, but it was my mom that wasn't, and my mom didn't like that, so she just said, oh, screw that idea.

We're gonna toss it out the door, you know? But, uh, people always ask me though, like, Hey, are you okay? Is there something wrong with you? And I never understood what that meant until I finally felt the anxiety, because, you know, I got stuck in a 15 year relationship with somebody that was a narcissist, you know?

And it was like every day. I was on complete edge or stressed out doing a lot of drinking, all these things. And it's like that sudden feeling would come in and she knew how to trigger it. 'cause that's what narcissists do. They feed on that kind of stuff. So she trigger it and like your heart starts racing, the thoughts start going through your head and it's like you fixate on these things and it would just cycle and it so fast.

And it's like I never understood what that was though. Until I started really digging into my own mental health, and then when I realized what it was, I was like, oh my God, that's what it is. And all those years, you know when you finally realize you get that flashback and you're like. Okay, now I know why it is.

I was so angry all the time. Or, you know, I lashed out at people and things like that too, you know? And it, it was so rough, man, because it was just like, you know, if you don't unders know what it is, then you don't know what you're dealing with. And it's like, sometimes you're too scared to find out what it is, because when you do, then what are people gonna think of you?

Are you crazy? You know, like they're, they don't know what that word means. Like, you hear people say anxiety, you hear it say depression. But do people really know what it means 90% of the time? No, they don't. They don't even know what that even means or what that even is like though. Yeah. So what I'm hearing and I, I smirked 'cause your dog climbed up over and behind you and I, yeah.

I was like, oh, look at that dog. Um, what I have to ask is if I'm tracking correctly, and this is ironic. Yeah. Your mother who had abandonment issues then abandoned you. Yeah. Correct. And did you ever, so was that abandonment, complete cutoff or did you have some kind of communication with her at all? Well, as a kid I had to like, you know, because the whole visitation thing was my parents were divorced, so like you had to go visit with her.

Like, I didn't have a choice. Like at first it was, I didn't have a choice, but as I got older, then the decision came and I could say no, which we didn't. Right. We had like a forced relationship. So like I had to go over there and you know, my mother's very controlling, you know, so like when you're there, it's like a whole nother set of rules, you know, for other people that are, that they live with, divorced parents that dealt with that kind of thing.

It's like, you know, and then my mom would badmouth my dad when you're over there. So it's like you forced interactions. And I was already at first a little bitter about it because I was like, well, this woman who loves me just dropped me off on a doorstep. And just said, fuck you. And basically left me. And I'm just like, really?

How can you do that? And then I got told, and I probably shouldn't have been told this, but my dad said the only reason she wanted me to come back is because he wouldn't pay child support to her because I was living with him. So she wouldn't, he wouldn't pay for me. So then she wanted me to come back just so I could get the thing and get paid for it.

And I'm pretty sure this has probably been doctored up by the time I was told about it as a kid. But you know, it's still like something you don't tell your kids, you know? Because then that's the feeling. You start going, you know, you get really, you know, nasty feelings towards the end. 'cause you're already mad because she left you there and it's just like all of a sudden she cuts you off.

And then she's forced me to go to therapy. So, you know, obviously now we're, we're going reinforced into another interaction with somebody, but the therapist, luckily, I, I liked though, so it wasn't really that bad, but there were a few that I, I interacted with at first because I didn't really like 'em too much and, you know what I mean?

When, when it comes to therapy, that's usually a normal thing. Like you sometimes they just don't mesh with people. Sometimes their styles aren't your thing. Yeah. So, but you know, man, it's, it was just, it was just rough man. It's like, because you were forced that interaction. And it's like I didn't wanna be around her most times because I was still bitter about it.

Hell, I was still bitter about it till about. A couple months ago, I still pretty bit about it because I was just like, you know, we never really had a great relationship after that point. 'cause after that it was just like, I didn't wanna be around her 'cause I just didn't wanna be controlled. 'cause every time you did something, it was like she had to control your life.

And then it was mm-hmm. My siblings would live with her. And then you try to tell your siblings how you feel and then they're like, no, no. That's not what it is. That's not what you're seeing it as though this is what it is. So. I had a lot of friction with a lot of people. I was an angry young gentleman at that time.

I was really angry because I was just like, I was trying to say my side of the story, but then everybody kept telling my stories wrong. It's like, but this is how I see it. You're not listening to what I'm saying. And you know, and it happened to be that I'm the middle child and we all know how that works.

When you're the middle child, you're seen but not heard. So like I felt like a lot of times I'd be talking and saying things and people just wouldn't listen to what I had to say. So, and I think that's where the anxiety really started going to is because it's like, you know, I had the thoughts going in my head, so I'm like, I'm trying to get the thoughts out, but no one wants to listen.

So then at that point, they're just going back in and we're having the spin cycle go, and, you know, my heart gets racing and things like that. And it would just be horrible, man. It's just horrible feeling because it's like, you know, you're trying to speak your peace, you're trying to tell somebody there's something wrong, but nobody's listening to you.

And that's, that's the scary part of it all. Hmm. I've had a lot of relationship experts, parenting experts, et cetera, on the show and the conclusion that, that they've kind of given me that I'm curious if any of your guests or anyone you've worked with has said this to you. Has anyone ever told you that the relationship you got into, that you mentioned with the narcissist, the controlling person, kind of mirrors the one you had with your mother and that you may have sought that for normality?

Um, it doesn't make sense. When you say, well, why would I want to get to that same environment? But I've had a lot of relationship experts on my show. Talk about how common that is because Yeah, what you experience as a child influences your adulthood and and what you seek out. Yeah. So let's kind of dive into that.

'cause you said 15 years, correct? Yeah. 15 years then that is a long time. That is, uh, yeah. Well you have to understand though, those 15 years, it was a lot of drugs. A lot of alcohol, and, and then we had kids. So, you know, obviously now that was the big thing was the kids were, you know, that whole phrase, don't stay together for the kids.

Oh, we didn't listen to that part of it. We stayed together regardless. And it was just like she had a control over me. And, uh, and, and I haven't told anybody this, and you're gonna be the first one to hear this though, but I had a couple friends that actually. Had told me after I got out of it that they were trying to help me.

One friend, he was trying to help me, that I've known for the longest time. He was almost going crazy because she got so mad. She was driving a wedge between us because she was so good at controlling people. Like she had to have control and I was just being submissive to it instead of just standing up and saying no.

But at the same time though, she, I was doing a lot, I was smoking a lot of weed, I was drinking. So like all these other factors are, are affecting how I'm thinking at this time. Yeah, of course. You know. And then also the fact at the same time, I didn't see what she was doing and she was making me look like an evil person in front of the kids.

'cause she'd get me so wound up, you know? And I start getting so mad 'cause you know, she just started nagging at me about something and, you know, let's, let's add into that. I wasn't sleeping much 'cause I worked third shift, so I wasn't sleeping much. I was picking the kids up from the bus. I was taking care of the kids most of the time.

'cause she was never home, you know? And I stayed, God knows why I stayed. I have no idea. I thought it was love, you know, and we, we've all been there. We all thought it was what it was and it wasn't, you know? Yeah, for sure. I've lost a lot of friends because, too, because a lot of them didn't wanna be around her.

Hell, my own family members didn't wanna talk to me for a while 'cause they didn't like her because she was so controlling, you know? And I think it was the, where it started really getting interesting. It was like, I think when one of the girls were about three, we went to her sister's wedding. Her sister told her, Hey, stop treating him like he's your bitch.

And I like from ever since she said that, I just kept thinking about like, what is she talking about? You know? Like, what am I not seeing here that's not there? You know? And that was early on in the relationship too. And it was just like she was so controlling about everything. Like she'd always accuse me of things.

But I'm like, I'm in the same place. What do you mean? I've been at the house the whole time with the kid. What am I doing that I shouldn't be doing? You know? And it's like things like that. And then later on I find out, you know, she cheated. But that's, that's way down the story though. But you know, we've always had the problem though, like she'd always lie to people too.

And like I'd sit there and watch her lie to everybody and I never really thought about it myself. It's like, well what is she lying to me about? You know? Because like, I didn't really think about it 'cause I was too busy, you know, smoking weed. Drinking and all these other things, all these other factors that were playing in there that weren't, I wasn't really seeing what everything was for what it was, you know?

And I had another friend he had came and stayed with us too, and he was like, she had drove a wedge between us as well. 'cause he knew what was going on because during a hurricane she had actually left to go be with her friend, but really was with the other individuals she was cheating on me with. So she left her three kids at home in the middle of a natural disaster to go be with this person over there.

'cause that was still more important. You know, and a lot of people don't even know that's what happened. And it was funny because one of the guys that was staying with me is a good friend of mine. Um, he was there too. And me and him took care of the kids and everything and we were stranded for like five days.

We couldn't get out of where we were at 'cause there was so much water around us, you know, and stuff like that too. And a lot of people don't even know that story around and though that part of the story either. 'cause she just, like, she left and she claims it was, oh, my friends needs this, you know, whatever she was claiming because she'd always in, she'd always invent these people.

Okay. And way gaslighting works for anybody wants to know. This is a really good example. She tell you that you knew this person. Oh yeah, yeah. You met that person. You know that is, yeah, yeah. You met Mago, they're this, and she'll start creating a narrative for who the person is. And I was like, no, I don't. I don't remember that.

You know? And mind you, I have a really good memory. I could remember a lot of things, but that was just like the real starting point of where it started getting really interesting for me. 'cause I was like, I've never met this person. What are you talking about? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You met them a while ago, this and that, da da da.

And that's where a lot of the arguments was. Start. It's like, you know, she started inventing these people that, they were somebody else, the guy that she was cheating on me with, she said, first it was her cousin, then it's her brother. You know, the story kept changing and I was keeping track of who this person was, and the story kept changing.

So she's like, no, no. Oh no. You're, you're crazy. You, no, no, you're not, you're not thinking that. Right? That's not it. You know, that constant, you sitting there questioning and then you're sitting there questioning, you're like, oh wait, hold a minute. There's something not right about this situation, what it is.

Oh no, no, you're crazy. Don't no one, you're crazy. And you know, and it was a perfect, perfect case of gaslighting right there, because like she had me questioning reality at one point, like so bad that I was hearing voices in my head that were talking to me, telling me that you. Either she's lying or I'm going crazy at this point, you know?

And, and it was like, it just kept coming and I didn't tell a lot of people about it 'cause I was using a lot of marijuana and stuff to, to basically silence 'em and drinking, to get the voices outta my head. 'cause they were just like, it kept building up, you know, until my brother one time had seen an incident between the two of us where I just snapped and I was telling him about it.

It's like he's, now, they're telling me to go kill myself at this point. And it's like, they're like, you know, they're strongly telling me these things. And I was freaking out. 'cause I'm like, I don't know what to do, man. I'm getting these voices in the back of my head, you know? And if I don't drink, then the noise won't go away.

If I'm not high enough, I, they won't go away. So I was, I was smoking way more than I normally should and things like that too. And you know, then you had the alcohol and you had the non sleeping. So then I looked like a monster. Because I'm not controlling my actions, because at this point I'm in complete state of, in uncontrolled, and she's basically playing puppet master at this point.

She's basically orchestrating these little sceneries. That way she could record me acting like a full, that way she could use it against me later on and go, oh, well, you know, hey, look, he's a, he's yelling at the kids, or he is doing this, or he is yelling at us because he's so upset. But not telling the real story was is that, you know, well, he.

He's so high and all these other factors that are playing into it that he's not in the right state of mind and I'm triggering him to get him upset. So he looks like a monster and I look great because that's what a covert narcissist would do, is just basically make themselves look good and all that great stuff.

Yeah. And I think part of the motivation for you on your end of, Hey, we're gonna stay together for the kids, is because you were a victim of a household of divorce. Yeah. And you knew exactly how it felt. So I can understand where you were coming from with the prevention and not having your kids go through that.

For sure. What I definitely wanna know is how many kids y'all had, and then what is your relationship with them today. Have you kind of shared with them everything you're sharing right now? Did they, they kind of, obviously they have their own opinions on both you and their mother, but kind of what is that relationship looking like?

We, I have three daughters. Um, one is 16 now. The other two twins are 13 each. Uh, they, they despise me completely. All girls. They despise me, but I, I mean, listen, I can't blame 'em though. They, they went through a lot of stuff when me and their mom split up. I still wasn't taking care of myself in my head. I was yelling at 'em all the time about things, getting upset with 'em over the small things.

But I'm stressed out. I'm dealing with three kids on my own trying to figure this all out. Their mom disappears. We don't know where she's at at this point, you know? And so she's calling randomly and filling their head with, oh, well, it'll be so much better here. You know, and it's just painting a picture because like, oh, hey, I'll buy you all these things.

'cause my kids always wanted a lot of stuff, but I was like, you know, you have to earn these things. I'm like, I'm not just gonna buy you it because you want it. You gotta learn how to earn it. Like, okay, if you do some stuff in front of the house. You know, things like that. And then, uh, the oldest one started becoming a lady.

So I'm like, we had to deal with that. And so I'm like, all these things are playing factors. So currently we do not talk to each other. Um, my brother does at least get to talk to him, you know, so I'm happy about that much. At least, at least some of the family gets to interact with him, you know, and he's just like, you know, you just gonna have to give it time, unfortunately.

And that's the, that's the hard part when it comes to these things, man, you know, like I haven't had a chance to tell 'em. But when I do is. It's gonna be an interesting story to tell 'em, you know, everything that's going on and, you know, stuff like that too. And I, you know, when it comes to their mom, I don't really think I'm gonna say too much, honestly, because I think if I come from the negative aspect, it, the way it already is, it's not gonna end well for me because they, they already see her on this high level.

I think they're gonna have to just figure it out for themselves what really went on. Mm-hmm. Like I can fill in my side of the story. And avoid talking about their mom just because I don't want to come off negatively. 'cause I, a lot of times that's really the bad way to do it when it comes to that kind of thing.

You know, just stick to your story strictly. You're sorry for the things you did and, you know, things like that too, and all that kind of stuff. But, you know, I, I wanna talk to 'em, but they don't wanna talk to me yet, which, I mean, I have to respect their space. Obviously, they're old enough now that, you know, it's.

It's when they're ready to talk, they're ready to talk. But, you know, I'm, I'm, I am very happy though that, that my brother gets to talk to him though, because he always likes to hang out with them, gets to do things with 'em and stuff. So he gives me updates on 'em and things like that too, because the mom doesn't gimme anything.

I ask him, you know, Hey, what are you up to these days? And all it is, is she'll, she'll hit me up when she wants money. That's it. Money, money, money. That's it. Everything else after that, you don't hear a single word from her. So. What was the final breaking point or the mindset shift that got you out of that relationship after 15 years?

Okay, so it was, I went to the gym. Okay. I remember the morning very, very clearly. So the morning of that, this happened, I literally went to the gym and she was texting me, like these fiercely texting me, Hey, where are you at? Da, da da. And, and like, mind you, it's no, no. Notice where I'm at. I'm at the same place.

I'm not home. I'm at the gym. If I'm home, I'm doing something else. You know? And, and so I remember the morning, 'cause I got mad 'cause I was like, I'm like, I'm at the gym. What do you mean? Oh, you're not out, you're not out screwing some girls or something. I'm like, dude, I'm at the gym. What are you talking about?

The, the literal, the only place I'm going is the gym. I worked many hours there. It sounds like projection because people who cheat project it a lot more onto others. Oh. 'cause they know all the tricks. And all the secrets. Oh, it gets better. Trust me. So. That morning she got me so upset. I got mad and called her.

'cause you know I'm already in a mad rage. 'cause I'm just like, she's blowing my phone up. I'm like, dude, what is the deal? Where are you at? Da, what are you gonna come home? I'm like, when I'm done working out, I'm gonna be home. You know? It's like I'm not gone for like three, four hours, you know, doing a bunch of random stuff, you know?

And she is like getting on my case. So I flip out of course, because I'm upset. So she calls the cops to my house. The cops tell me to leave my own house. 'cause I'm sitting there and she's not home. Mind you, she's, I think she's at the neighbor's house when she did it. And I said, where you at? Da da da. You know, I'm coming home now.

And she's like, okay. Doesn't say anything. Then isn't home. So I call and her like, Hey, where you at? And I'm already mad. So mind you, I'm still in a, a rage state of rage. I'm so mad 'cause she's got me so worked up. The cops come to my house and tell me to leave my own house, even though I'm just sitting there.

I was like, you know, I'm done. The minute she called those cops and those cops knocked on my door was the I'm fucking done moment. I'm like, I'm just done. I'm not gonna do this shit anymore. So this story gets more interesting now. Okay. So I go to work. Mind you, I'm at work. I have no idea what's going on outside.

I have the, I'm, I drove the car to work. So she comes in asking me about something. I don't remember what she was. I had to make a scene in the store. So I had to get her out of the, get her out where I was working. So I go outside, talk to her, da da, da, whatever. Come to find out she stole money outta my account.

She stole the car. 'cause when I left work that night, I didn't know the car had been taken. So she took the car with her, left me completely stranded. Okay. So a good friend of mine at work gave me a ride home. I go home, all my stuff is missing outta the house. She cleared this whole house out. With her friend and her just cleaned everything out and took all my things too.

And it was just like, I was like, I'm just done, man. I'm not gonna deal with this anymore. You know? And it was just that moment where it's like, the minute those cops went on my door, I was like, I am fucking done. That's it. Because that was the breaking point for me. 'cause I just couldn't do it anymore. And it was the greatest decision ever because I literally lived, I had nothing.

I was literally down to three boxes to my name. I lived in one of those like weekly rental hotels, and I walked to work every day. And mind you, I'm in Texas, so the hot, it's hot out here, so 110 degrees. I'm outside walking to work sometimes, you know, and this stuff. And luckily I had a really cool boss at the time.

She understood. What's going on. So she adjusted my work schedule so I could be there and get all my hours in. 'cause I was salary at the time, so I had to work X amount of hours. And then after that, that's it. You're done. You clock out as soon as your hours are up. So, you know, luckily it was, it was pretty cool.

But yeah, that was the moment, man. And it just gets weirder after that because she would like come by and drop the kids off all the time. Even though, mind you, she took the kids with her. To go stay at her friend's house. Okay. So what she was doing, I find out later on is that she, one of her good friends who stopped talking to her, which I thought was a little unusual.

It was like, you know, they're like best friends all of a sudden stops talking to her. I was like, that's kind of weird. I said, Hey, what's up your friend? I thought we were supposed to go check out their new house they're having built. So this is what I get told. Okay. So her friend had reached out. I reached out to the friend, and the friend reached, the husband, reached back and said that, you know, no.

She knew that, that she was up to no good. She told her that, Hey, listen, if you don't stop doing what you're doing to him, I'm not gonna be a part of this. I don't want anything to do with you. I'm gonna stop talking to you because I don't wanna know. I don't wanna be a part of what you're doing. I don't agree.

So she'd been doing it for a long time now, remind you, as you said, the, the whole projection thing, that's what she was doing. 'cause she was doing weird things and then there was another friend where she was hitting on their husband. So that's how I knew already something was going on because like, that's weird.

She's like, yeah, you know, she was at my sister's baby shower, hitting on my husband. And things like that too. And I was like, oh, this is an interesting story, you know? And you know, and this is after we broke up and I got re resettled in somewhere else where I'm at now, you know, uh, like four hours north of where we were in Houston.

So it got interesting because I didn't know any of this and nobody told me this. And I wonder why one of my own fr good friends wouldn't talk to me, and then I find out that's the case. She was like, yeah, that's what happened. She was. Uh, you know, she was hitting on my husband at this baby shower, and I kept asking her all the time like, Hey, why don't you go home?

You have a good guy at home. He said, I'm taking care of the kids, making sure the house, all the bills are paid. And she kept saying no. And she's like, well, I couldn't figure out why she was saying no. And I told her what happened. She's like, well, that makes sense because she refused to go home. But then she'd leave my house and I thought she went back to your house.

And she didn't. She was going over to this guy instead. So she was saying she was over there, but she wasn't there, you know, and things like that too. So it got real interesting. Real quick after a little bit of while, but I was like, I'm like just kept asking for the same thing. Like, why don't y'all just tell me what the hell is going on?

Like, like, why were y'all not saying anything? Well, we didn't want to be involved with it. That's all you had to add in there was just like, Hey listen, I wanna be involved in this, but this is what I know. Hmm. So did you ever find out. The cause of the cheating? Was it a lack of intimacy in y'all's relationship?

Was it just her nature? What did you kind of find out more about it, ever? I think it's, I think it's more her nature. Now. You gotta remind, remember now she's the type of person that's not gonna tell you about things. Yeah. She'll claim, she told the other guy the usual story, oh, he's not good. Da da, da. He's always mad.

All the, all the excuses. Well, he's angry, yelling at me all the time. But he's not, she's not telling him the real story, that it was like, Hey, he's working 50 plus hours a week. He's taking care of the kids, he's doing all these things. I'm not letting him sleep. And then I'm getting mad at him 'cause he's tired all the time.

I'm like, well, what do you want me to do? I'm only human, not, not a, you know, not a machine. If you ask her, her story will be something else that every time. 'cause she doesn't keep to the same story. She's that type of person who'll keep changing it. And she'll constantly lie about it, so you'll never really get the true answer from her, honestly.

Mm-hmm. Interesting. Yeah. And I know you mentioned, so you talked about, I mean, you were, she basically took everything and, and then mm-hmm. Everything I say, every single thing, anything I collected over the years, all the stuff I've had. For the longest time, it's all gone. Like I lost every single thing. So now I'm very possessive over certain things in my items.

'cause I get really possessive. My wife now has to deal with that. She gets mad at me sometimes, but it's because like I had such an attachment to these items I had collected over these years. You know, I had a big collection of stuff. Yeah. You know, and it's just all gone in minutes because she just took everything.

And my mom did the same thing as a kid too. She took all my Ninja turtles and sold them. And stuff. Like she do weird things like that all the time. So, you know, like it kept bringing back that memory, those deep seated feelings of, you know, my mom just selling all my stuff. And it's like, well what are you doing man?

Why are you selling all my stuff? You know? And then when I came home that day, that really reaffirmed that it was, it was, I was just done. I'm not gonna go back to this crap at all, you know? And then she claims that I'm the reason she lost the house. I'm like, no, I'm staying at the house. 'cause it's the house I paid for right now.

I'm trying to find another place to go. You know, and, and luckily I found something that was close enough I could walk to, I could walk to work though, luckily, and like I said, you know, I had a great boss at the time. But yeah, man, I lost everything. Like, like anything you can think of. I lost it all. I did get, I did find out that I did have the baby pictures, so the kids and things, so that was great.

So I did have some kind of power there for a little bit, but I didn't keep 'em from her at all. I took some from myself to have, from my. My own things. And then I, I gave her the rest of them. I said, well, here you go. Here's them too. You know, I never, never kept anything from her 'cause it just wasn't me. I was just like, you know, just because she did that to me, I'm not gonna do it to her because I'm not gonna be the same person she was.

So how long ago was this when all this happened? Uh, about five years ago. It was about five years. Yeah. Because about four of it, I was, I was single afterwards. I just didn't, I didn't want anything to do with anything. Yeah, of course. You know, I, I had the girls and stuff, so I was juggling trying to take care of them, you know, and it, it was, you know, it was, it was rough, man.

'cause it's like you had to restart it. I literally lost my car. I lost everything. So I had to, I had to buy a new car. I had to go to some other place. You know, and things like that. I was just taking, I was working whatever. I had to work to make sure that we had the money to get a place of our own, because my dad actually was nice enough to me and him build it, build bunk beds for the girls to make 'em feel home.

You know, and things like that too. So we built this mega structure, this three tier pipe pit system outside shelves on it and everything like, you know, it's kinda like those old tool time commercial, you know, like home improvement where Tim Allen would go in and just accentuate everything. Yeah, that's what we did.

We built these things, co Cadillac, these things for these kids. That way they had everything. You know, 'cause they were going through a lot too, because, you know, they didn't see their mom anymore and you know, mom wasn't around. She disappeared. So it, it was hard at first man. Mm-hmm. And it, it's rough. Let me tell you.

It's a girl dad. Woo. Boys and girls. You guys have no idea what it's like raising three girls, man. Especially when they start becoming women. It's. That you have to learn things that you didn't think you had to do, and you have to have those uncomfortable conversations. Now, I valued that because it's something I'd never dealt with before, but now I, I dealt with it better, you know, like as soon as, you know, the, the whole situation went down.

When 'em started getting their period, it was like when we moved to another place, I made sure that they had their own space, their private space, and like they're women, like, you know, knock on the doors, all that kind of stuff. Like I had to think of things. That I normally wouldn't have to think of. You know, like normally you could just pop 'em the door, but no, now you have to knock on the door.

'cause they're ladies now you can't just swing in, you gotta teach 'em the same thing. You want them to have the mentee treat 'em like the same way, you know, and all that kind of stuff, you know? And then we've had to have that uncomfortable conversation about, well dad, why can't I dress like I want to? Well honey, you know, because boys don't know how to act.

Right? And, and to me that's just fucked up. We have to make that kind of excuse, you know, for them, Hey listen, you can't express yourself because these guys don't know how to act. Right. You know? Hmm. So it's interesting to me, if I'm hearing correctly, after a 15 year toxic relationship, and then you were single for four years and then you got married within one year.

Mm-hmm. To someone, which that's a big commitment, especially with how much damage you've had done to you. So what is. What is so special about your wife that, uh, you were able to overcome all that? Or was it kind of, you know, work that you did on yourself between those four years? You know, you, you know what it is, Sam, and, and a lot of people ask me that question too, because we were dating for a whole year.

And when we first met, it was just like, it just had that feeling like you knew that, you know, she'd been through a lot, I've been through a lot, and we just clicked right off the bat, like we understood each other and things like that too. Um, she, she had to go through a lot with me in the beginning though.

Like, I, I had some moments where my anxiety was just kicking up and regardless of what I said, that was fucking completely nuts. Like, my anxiety had me thinking she was cheating because I heard her friend in the background, which is a good friend of hers, you know, and, and, you know. And she called me back and she, the way she approached it was just so, so different than what, you know, my ex had done for 15 years.

That made me feel good about it. 'cause I was just like, okay, she gets it. She understands when she's like, oh no, I understand the complete situation. I'm so sorry about that. Da da dah. You know, it was like, it was just something about her at first, it was just like, she was so different. Like she handled things differently.

You know? It felt like I could be honest with her about things, you know? And we ended up getting married, you know, when we got married. You know, we have our up and downs. Sometimes we disagree about things, but it's different because we talk about these things. And I think that's what it was. It was the comfort level that, the fact that, you know, I could talk to her about things and she'd understand, but we've been through a lot though in that year.

I had COVID. Uh, and things like that as well, and things like that. And I, I got really sick for like two weeks and, you know, I've never seen her freak out so bad in my life. And it was just like the fact that this person was always there. It didn't matter the distance that we had to travel. You know, I traveled like two and a half hours every Sunday to go see her because it was just that special every time I was around her.

It just, it just made me feel better. I felt better. I felt good. I felt like I could just feel something that was attracting me to her at first, you know? And she was so chill about things. Like she understood how I felt about things and all that kind of stuff, you know? Mind you, she's been through a lot too.

So, but it was just like that one moment you meet somebody and it's like, you know, love at first sight is, you know, a lot of people say that thing, but it really what it was, honestly, because it was just like, ever since then we've been inseparable. I think we actually, we had a disagreement for one week.

And it was killing me. So I texted her. I literally drove two and a half hours and went back to work the same day that night. Like I didn't sleep at all and everything like that. That was the moment I think is where it just started the tipping point with me. It's like, I cared so much about this person. I didn't care.

I literally left at like two, three in the morning. Went up there two and a half hours just to spend a couple hours with them to come back and go back to work. Even though how tired I was, you know? It's just like, it was just, just that feeling like, you know, that's the one for me. Yeah, I relate a lot to that.

I was an author in a book where I wrote about, I used to drive. Eight hours to go see a woman and uh, yeah. Not sleep and then go to work and stuff. So I didn't, yeah. Fell. Lemme tell you, this fellas distance doesn't mean shit. Okay? I don't want to hear that bullshit. Excuse. Oh, well, she lives too far. If she's worth it, she's worth it.

Going for it, man. Because, you know, I help her as much as she helps me. Like she was in a bad situation. I pulled her outta that situation. She's now thriving even better, where she's now has a better paying job, has a better outlook on her career and things like that too. You know, she's, she's enjoying other things, you know, she's getting used to not having all these people around her, though, that really toxic, but she didn't see it like that I did, because it was just like, you have so much toxic things going on here, you know?

And she was in the same boat I was. She lost everything too because her ex, he just left one day. You know, and mind you, she's got a 4-year-old as well too, so that, you know, now we brought this little little girl into our lives as well. I mean, she, it's been a great, it's been great. Like that's my best friend.

Like if normally during the summer when I'm recording, she's usually somewhere in this room hanging out with me while we're in the, while I'm doing them all the time and, you know, things like that too. And you know, and she's not my own blood either. That's the thing too. So it's weird. For me, at first it was like, you know, I love this kid as much as she's not my blood, but she's, I still treat her like she's blood because it doesn't matter.

She's. She, she loves being around me. I like being around her. You know, she interacts well with the other kids and things like too, because her sisters have met her though when we were still in that little bit of talking. Um, they had come up to visit and things like that too. And the, the two of them, you know, had hung out and things like that.

And it was really great to see 'em interact, you know, 'cause she, she likes the older kids. 'cause all her siblings that my wife has on her side are older. They're like 18, 21, 25, you know, and things like that too. So it, you know, it's been great too because now I have to. I get a second chance at, you know, raising a kid.

Now I know the things I don't wanna do that I did with mine, you know, and hopefully they, they could see that, right? Like, I've changed a lot of things, you know, I don't know if they've even seen my show, honestly. And I, I hope some of them watch it, just, they'll, they'll get a little more information, but I'm willing to tell 'em everything.

Like, I don't think they understand really what happened a lot of the times and things have gone through and, you know, and it's hard man. Like, I, I, you know, every day I'm sorry for what happened, but I mean. You can only say sorry so much, but it's what you do from that point is what really matters. Did your anxiety at any point with your new wife when y'all were talking or first meeting or even now, do you ever have this anxious feeling of this is too good to be true?

Yes, especially in the beginning. In the beginning, yes, I did for a while. Um, a lot of it too is like, I'd go revert to, you know, uh, is she cheating on me? You know, those, those thoughts did go through my head too a lot, you know? But the things she said and the way she addressed it weren't the same way Max did it though.

So that kind of reassured me a little bit. It's like I. Hey, you know, she's not doing anything wrong because the, she's not telling you you're crazy. She's like, okay, I understand. You know, let's, let's just not overreact. You know? And the way she would do it is just like, it bell you out completely, you know?

But my anxiety kicks up here and there now, and a lot of times it's, you know, it's just my brain just trickling things. But it's, it's, it's so weird though. Think about it. 'cause like with text messaging of, for example, like, she doesn't text a lot like my ex used to. So like, if I send her a message, I, I can't expect an instant response unless she's literally looking at the phone.

You know, or something we're trying to communicate. Other than that, it's like, so when I sent a message, I had to learn that too in the beginning. That, Hey, listen, she doesn't, you know, but we did a lot of video calling too though, so she understood, you know, and it was just like it to me at first, it was, it felt too good to be true because it's like, this person's here, it's like, I feel so good around her and whatever reason, it's just, I'm so happy to be around her.

Every time she around. She just brings joy to me. Everything else like that, it just feels so fuzzy. You know, all the warm, fuzzy feelings you get and things like that too. Um, you know, and, and that thought was in the back of my head a lot of times it's like, oh, what if, what if she leaves kind of thing, because, you know, you gotta remember that 15 years is still playing into this too.

So we dealt with a lot of that at first as well. So, and, and like I said, the way she responded with it made me feel at ease though, because she was like, she didn't tell me I was crazy. Oh, hey, you're not, you're not making shit up. You know, things like that too. And you know, you know, there's been some times she has told me that shit.

I'm making shit up in my head. But it's just, just how she's, and I think that's the way I, I better handle it though. A lot of times it's just, hey. Um, but what I love about her though, man, is she sits there and she'll call me out and shit like I used to do, like, Hey, you can't keep doing this shit. No, no, no, no.

We ain't just, we ain't doing this no more. And it's funny though, because. She'll criticize me. Like she'll bust your balls like she's your friend. Like, like one of the guys kind of thing. But it's, for whatever reason, I, I, I take that better than anything else. I'll get mad. Don't get me wrong, I get mad. I don't like being called out for shit I'm doing 'cause I don't like it.

But at the same time it's not because she's attacking you, it's, Hey listen, we gotta cut this bullshit out 'cause we're not gonna continue doing this, you know, and things like that too. So, but yeah, man, that thought, thought did race in my head a lot of times, you know, because that. That fear of, you know, like, oh my God, they're cheating on me, kind of thing has kept coming up and it wasn't, it clearly wasn't evident with her.

Like I said, that just that the, the responses she gave and, and all that kind of stuff, it's just like that calming feeling she gave you when she answered you and didn't make you think you're crazy kind of thing. So. Right. And do you have anxiety of any kind nowadays, or should we change your show to Pete?

Defeated anxiety? No. Pete's still got anxiety bad. It just comes and goes, man, it's, it's more of, you know, that thought gets stuck in your head and it's stuck on repeat and. It'll just start going, you know, and I, I have an anxiety journal I use too. It helps a lot of times as well. Um, there's like the, the finger tapping technique a lot of times helps as well.

You know, sometimes just a random shout out, you'll hear me just yell out, shut up real loud. Don't like my head to shut up and things like that too. So he doesn't defeated anxiety? No, no. It's still there. But you know, it's not as bad as it used to be. It doesn't trigger as easily as it does, and now I'm now since doing the show, I'm better equipped to handle it with different things I've learned from people for sure.

Yeah. So, yeah, I know I can say as a podcaster as well, you learn so much from these amazing people all over the globe. What? You know, a lot of people don't say, you know what I am, I have anxiety. Let's start a podcast about it. So what? How did that all happen? I mean, you know, that's funny, man, how it happened.

Okay, so this is, this is the story of what happened. This is the point where I realized that I fucked up and I need to do something. Me and my wife, we had a disagreement. Now, mind you, just like any other people, we have our own little banter back and forth. For whatever reason this moment was, I went completely ape shit crazy.

And when she looked at me and she just said, okay, now mind you, my wife is a feisty Texas woman. She don't put up with nobody's shit. None of that. For her to say that, whatever it was, when she said that, I, it's just something in my brain just went, whoa. Like, like a sudden shock wave was like, holy shit, I need to do something now before I fuck this up.

Really bad, you know, in. And that was the starting point. So then I started talking to some, I went to did, I started doing some therapy and you know, they give that whole spiel, you know, your, your, your anxiety feeds into your depression and things like that too. So I had already been doing a podcast at the time, you know, it was already how we're having Rocky Road at this point.

You know, it was called Pete's Corner Store. Anybody wants to listen to it. It's out there. I don't apologize for anything that got said in the show. I mean, it was early on. We were fucking around a couple people just having a good time. Okay, so we get to the third season, we get to men's mental health episode.

Okay? Now, this is where the eye-opener started for it because it was like, after listening to that episode, I was like, holy fuck dude. I am in the percentage of people that may end up taking their life at this age. The number is so great that it's like, it had me thinking about it in the back of my head, like, oh fuck, dude, this is fucking crazy.

Like, why? Why are we doing this? Why don't we talk about these things as men, you know? And it started getting me thinking. And then when I decided to take a break, I was just sitting there one day and I was looking through my photos of something. And this pic, the original logo, I have to remember, it was like.

Me doing something like this. Okay. And it was a picture my wife had done for me. And after that incident, I was still licking my chops from being a complete asshole or for no reason. I was doing the therapy. And it all of a sudden just hit me, Pete versus anxiety. And I was like, you know, I don't know what it was.

It just stuck in my brain like I wanted it. And the original title was like, if you see it's real rough and the lettering's real rough on the, and it's like, all right, well, you know, let's explore this topic of mental health. So I went and Google, I looked up on Spotify to see like who's having these conversations.

Doctor. Doctor. Doctor, doctor. Okay. So where's the conversation amongst the people that are just normal people? They're just having conversations. Yeah. You know, and at first it was inviting just like certain people on and stuff like that. And then I was like, you know, fuck it. Let's invite some of these professionals on and see what else I can learn as I go.

So as the show progressed from season for the first half of the year, I literally started inviting more people. I had musician musicians on things like that. I've had all different types of people come on, you know, and it. It got interesting, but you know, it, my wife at first actually didn't want me to start it, which is strange enough.

If had I listened to her, I wouldn't be in the position I am now. I'm, I'm all the way out till November now, dude. I've got like 134 interviews from tomorrow till November right now of just people lined up that want to talk about this subject, you know? And it was, it was just crazy. 'cause like, uh, she was like, if you're gonna do this, you need to be authentic.

You need to understand right now that the space you're about to get into is a serious space. And that's the one thing she's always told me. It's like, Hey, listen, if you're gonna do this, you need to be authentic about it. And I was like, okay. Yeah. You know, and at first I was like, I was trying to keep up with shit and it got fucking bad.

Like I didn't have a digital calendar in November, guys. It was horrible. But yeah, it was it, that was the starting point of the show. Now, had I told you where I'm at now and told you in the beginning of this thing, I would've laughed at you and been like, there's no fucking way you're gonna be doing all that.

Dude. Like now I've, I've accomplished so much. I've been on a Holocaust panels, you know, talking to a Holocaust survivor guy who's actually been there, been to Auschwitz and a couple other camps. You know, I've met, I've met all these different kind of people. I met you, I met all these other great people along the way.

You know, one of my top five guests, actually's gonna be on the show tomorrow. Uh, Dr. Chen Paul Wall, I think is what her last name. I never get her name, last name right. But she was one of the first videos I'd watched when I started researching things and, you know, and then BPD was another thing that came up with somebody else that knew what I was doing, and she was like.

He said, oh yeah, I have B, B, D. So I was like, what the hell is that? So I started searching it and lo and behold, that's the first video that popped up is Dr. Jen. So I'm excited to say though that that's tomorrow though. When I'm tomorrow's show, I cannot wait. Dude, I'm so excited about it. If had I not done this podcast, you know what I'm saying?

Like, had I not started this thing, dude, I would've ever have to miss so many cool people like yourself and everybody else. Dude, I wanna have as many new friends as I've got now that, that just enjoy talking to people, man. 'cause these interviews, every time you click, you don't know what the conversation's gonna be.

But it's been great every time. I agree a hundred percent. I've made contacts around the world, around America. Uh, I've met up with some of these people in real life and hung out together. It's a great time. And a lot of them, I know that if I was going through something I could call them, you know, same, same with you de me and, and anything like that, you know?

So call me anytime, buddy. I got you. Yeah. And, um, like you said, especially I know you and I, uh, are, are two podcasters in particular who do a lot of men's mental health work as well. Yeah. Uh, from the, some, I know some of us host round tables to just one-on-one episodes to different things, and it's important, like you said, um, the statistics people don't really realize.

And I also do a lot of work in children's suicide, which is Yeah. Not a good first date discussion. I found out the hard way. But, you know, it's, it's important, you know, it, uh, it's, IM important. Oh, no, uh, it's, it's. As exciting as it is, some of the guests you and I have met and learned. Yeah. Uh, it's also really heartbreaking at times.

You know, I've had some people, like you said, you never know what's gonna happen and I've had some veterans open up and say things that kind of, yeah, you don't even know what to say. As the host, you're like, how do I even reply to that? Uh, you know, it's funny you say veterans because the first guy I ever interviewed was a guy named Teddy Colgate.

He's 22 years in the military. Was a Marine. Uh, he suffers from tmi, PTSD, all that stuff you can think of. This poor guy cannot make it to the store to pick up a loaf of bread and come back without it being a just a stressful moment for him. Yeah. This man cried on my show when he was telling his story, like it was that fucking hard to listen to.

It was just like you're hearing like the Humvee blows up, shit's flying through the air, like just complete chaos is breaking out. This guy is out cold for 15 minutes and Teddy's like, I had to lie to everybody around me that I'm okay because I'm their commanding officer and I'm telling everyone I'm good.

But he's, the fucked up part was, and we've touched on this a little bit, is when he came back, they were telling him he's okay. He's like, no, no, no. Something's wrong here. I know something's wrong here. I'm telling you something wrong. Did you look at my results when I came back? And the shocking answer was no.

We didn't look at it. And I was just like, what the fuck? I'm like, really? That's so fucked up. You know? And in the next week though, gets even better. So the woman next week talk about things you didn't know were gonna be said. This woman told me that she was dead for five minutes on the table. Like I had no idea what this woman was gonna tell me about.

Now she's had 16 rounds of chemotherapy. Has basically no, no digestive system left. I don't know how she's eating at this point. She's barely making it through and she's hanging on by the, the skin of her teeth and she's still the happiest person I've ever met in my life. Like she had such a great time we were talking.

And that's, I think was the, the next point of when I knew this is really, I, this is really something I wanna do because I was having such a great time and somebody I've never met in my life. And she was like, you know what? It was just like talking to a friend. And I'm like, you know, that's why I kept it casual, you know?

I'm like, I could sit and drill you with questions all day, but when you have a casual conversation, I feel like the conversation gets real and you get people to open up. And there was a woman from, I think she was from Ukraine or something. I had her come on, she was talking too. And if you watch her episode, like 30 minutes in, she starts warming up.

'cause I'm just trying to get her to open up and say something. And she's kind of one word answer. And then eventually she just gets real mellow and relaxed. And it was just so much fun because when you get 'em to go, man, you just get 'em. You just set 'em free, man. You're just like, let 'em go man. Take off.

Yeah. And you know, and it, and then it is subject like, you know we had the oh shit moment where the guy was talking to his suicide ideation that scared the fuck outta everybody. Like I've never seen anybody freak out, ever in my life. All the way down to two weeks in a row. Now these women are trying to get me to cry because they, these stories they're telling me are so fucking gut wrenching, which I did with the second one, dude.

She was bawling her eyes out in front of me and I'm just feeling it, man. I'm just like, oh God. And I don't care. I don't give a fuck. Anybody laughs at me an that, bro. That was a tough story to listen to. You can't sit there and tell me what this woman's telling you. Her brother was beating the shit out by the dad and the uncle, or No, the dad and the grandfather that finds out he was sexually assaulted.

Then he does drugs and he ends up taking his life eventually. And then when she finds out her dad wants nothing to do with the subject at first, you know, and I was like, that's so fucked up. Because it's like, you know, this is her brother. Or she didn't understand what was wrong with him. You know? And it, and it proves that point that you don't know what people are going through.

Like, you know, if you meet somebody. And they're that far gone. It's like you don't understand what they've been through. Please understand that you don't have any idea what these people have been through, especially when it comes to sexual assault. A lot of 'em don't even wanna talk about it because it's that horrific for them to relive that experience, you know?

Yeah, and I think the biggest mistake people make in that subject too, is that they push and they push. It's like, don't, don't push. Don't push. If they don't want to talk to you about it, it's okay. Understand, it's nothing you did. They just don't want to talk about it. Now when they feel like they're ready to talk about it, be ready to listen.

And don't be a fucking idiot about it. Like literally, listen to what this person's saying to you. 'cause if they're telling you something, that means they trust you a lot. I think that's where people fuck up too, is that they don't listen and they don't take it serious. Like, stop whatever you're doing, pause, whatever you're doing.

It doesn't matter what you're doing. You're watching the football game. Pause the fucking game. I don't care. They have DVR for that reason or whatever. Take it serious when someone talks to you about this because when these people open up to you and they start telling you things, you get ready for some shit you're gonna hear because you don't know what the story was.

You know, and, and then the other thing that really pissed me off though is like, I met somebody. She said, what did she say? She said, my story Small. No, stop. Stop. If you've been sexually assaulted, don't you ever come on my show and say that it's a small thing. 'cause it's not, to me, it's not. It's a big deal.

You're there talking about this thing. It to me is a massive thing. I hate it when people try to minimize it and go, well, it's just a small thing. No, no, don't do that to yourself. You went through something horrific, you're here willing to talk about it. You better believe I'm putting this, this is a magnified scale major to me because like it's the most important thing to me.

I don't give a fuck about anything else. I don't care if you feel like it's small, I won't allow you to talk like that. 'cause we don't do that negative self-talk shit. I don't do that. I tell you that all the time. And they laugh at me, but I'm serious. Like we don't do all that. No, no. This is a safe space.

This is, this is gonna be a serious conversation. You know what you feel like you wanna share? You can I take it all serious? I don't allow people to minimize it. Be like, oh, well it's no big deal. No, it's a big deal. Stop. Please stop. Like, this shit drives me crazy. I'm like, stop minimizing your, your, your assault and all these other things, these things you've been through, man, they're, to me, they're just, we magnifying because it's like, I want you to understand how serious I am about it.

I care that you're here sharing this story with me because you didn't have to. You know, and, and the fact that you're doing it, it's, it's, you know, it's, it's great. Thank you so much. I appreciate y'all doing it, but please don't ever minimize it. What you've been through is, that's just important is, you know, the, the, the new dog down the road.

You know what I'm saying? It's just, it's like, come on now, let's stop doing that. For sure, and as we approach the top of the hour here, I'd love to hear about the future of Pete versus anxiety. Are there any big projects you have planned? Is there a book in works or? Actually, it's interesting you say that because I do have a side project.

It's called the Voice of the Voice List. Now, Mike. Self-titled memoir. They have yet to Write Everybody. I'm Captain Procrastinating on that one, but it's titled The Voice of the Voiceless and the basis of the idea of the project is, is this. It's like if you have a story you want to be told, but you don't feel like you can tell it yourself, I am willing to be the voice of the voiceless and share it for you.

Well, what will happen is that it's a completely confidential, I am the only person that will know whose story belongs to who. It always be signed off Voice of the voiceless, because the point is, is that your story out there matters to somebody. Your story, somebody's gonna hear that story, and they're literally gonna, they're gonna either feel like they can agree with you or they may not agree with you.

It doesn't matter. But this way, your story's out there and you don't have to feel like everybody's asking you 20,000 questions about it and things like that too. So I'm offering people to tell their story. Now, I have one person who signed up that they said they're down for it. And it's, it's a slow project I'm working on, but it is, like I said, it's the same self-titled my, my, my Memoir.

'cause I feel like I'm out here, uh, giving people a place to share their voice, you know, that, that don't feel like they had a voice before, you know, and things like that. So if you're interested, anybody's interested, reach out. You, you can hit me up on anything social media. You can email Pete for Society pod@gmail.com.

I'm taking any kind of stories. Like I said, it is completely confidential and always be signed off as voice of the Voiceless because like I said, your story matters to somebody out there. Yeah, for sure. And we're gonna have your shown in the description below. For people to check out and you know, I'm not even gonna ask you who it's for 'cause I think everyone could take something away from it.

Yeah. You know? Agree. I think it's a very broad show that covers a lot of stuff. And, um, how do people who want to be on your show reach out to you? You have an email or website. Um, you can go to my website, Pete for anxiety info. All the information's there how to get ahold of me. Um. I do take yes, through pod match.

That's a where a lot of people go through too. If you wanna be connected me in other shows, you can, um, you could reach out to me, any of my socials, Pete, for anxiety on Instagram. I'm pretty much all the way down to TikTok. You can, you can just send me a message. Um, what I suggest you do is if you send me a message, send me a little bit of what your story story is so I can see it and I'll reach back out to you.

I don't think I've ever turned anybody down except for four people. And those four people just did not fit anywhere near what we were trying to do. Like, I listen to a lot of things, whatever you wanna talk about, but you know, please understand that if I don't choose your story or whatever, I, it just doesn't, it just means you're not fitting what I'm doing at that time.

Now, I will reach back out to you if I feel like maybe you'll be something better at another time, but reach out guys. All I can say is no at the end of the day. Yeah. And you know, if he, you've shared a lot of your story with us today. And I'm sure a lot of us can take something away from it, but for those of us who want a clear, direct message, what would be the one thing you would leave us with?

Okay. Listen, when I tell you this, everybody in the back, uh, fellas, ladies, everybody talk about your mental health. Okay? Stop making it so taboo to talk about these things. It's okay. We all deal with things. The whole point of Pete for his anxiety is just that we are getting the conversation going for you.

Like, you know, mental health's okay to talk about. Stop stigmatizing it all, you know, please understand, at the end of the day, you, you matter. You being here means something to somebody. If you or somebody else, you know, may feel like they just, they're at that edge and you don't know what to do. I have some great tools for you before we sign off.

9, 8, 8 and help Hub dot. Okay, so if you are not sure where to get started, help, help.co will lead you through there. Figure out exactly what works best for you, um, and all those kind of things like that. And nine, eight, eight's just great to have on hand in case you know, you run into a situation where you feel like somebody may be thinking about taking their life or there's somebody's having an extreme moment of some sort.

You know, don't let them suffer for love a God. Please don't love them. Suffer. Get them some help. Stop letting these senseless violence acts happening and everybody blaming mental health for it, and, and do something about it now. Yeah, those are great resources. Definitely the uh, hotline, the suicide hotline is great and we're gonna have that, both of those in the description below as well, if you wanna check those out.

And then Pete, I just wanna thank you for your time today. Definitely. And for sharing your story. You know, like you said, talking about our mental health is important. Um. I will say, not in a way of self-pity or victimization, but in a way to yeah, heal and to empower others, which is what you and your platform does.

And so I appreciate you sharing your story, which I know is not easy to do, especially as a man, uh, especially in, in your age. Demographics is a lot more, um, there's a lot more stigma than with the younger generation. So I really appreciate you. Doing that and, uh, you know, sharing your story vulnerably and honestly so that people can grow from it.

And again, whoever wants to learn more about you and your guests, we're gonna have, uh, Pete versus anxiety and description below for y'all to check out. But Pete, thank you for guesting on the show. Hey, man. Thank you so much for having me back, brother. It was great. I enjoyed our first conversation. I looked forward to this one.

I hyped it up all week. I've been excited, man, listen, I love what you're doing, man. I think you're great. Uh, you know, anybody that, that, like I said, has a message, you know, it's, you know, I think it's just like, you know, your voice matters. At the end of the day, your voice matters. I don't care anybody tells you.

Your voice matters. You have an opinion. It's all welcome and things like that, and don't be afraid to share it. Guys, come on now. Remember, don't ask your days. Ask how your mental health is today because at this rate, we are losing men at a large rate and we gotta stop this shit now. I.