Writing Down Your Philosophy: Francisco Garza On Not Spontaneously Deciding Life

Today, I sit down with Francisco Garza, a former Marine Corps infantry officer, recon Marine, reservist company commander, consultant, and proud father. Mr. Garza shares his journey from joining the Marines alongside his college roommate, to serving in the reconnaissance community, to balancing civilian life, fatherhood, and corporate leadership. His story is one of resilience, philosophy, and finding balance between competing responsibilities.

In our conversation, Mr. Garza reflects on his deployments to Japan, the Middle East, and beyond, as well as the physical and mental demands of Marine Recon training. He opens up about family legacy, drawing inspiration from his grandfather’s survival in communist Hungary and his great-grandfather’s role in the Mexican Revolution. We also discuss his transition out of active duty, the challenges of leading Marines while raising four children, and the philosophy he began writing down to guide his decisions during seasons of overwhelming responsibility.

Mr. Garza explains how Stoicism and Catholicism inform his daily life as a husband, father, and professional. He emphasizes the importance of temperance, consistency, and focusing on what you can control—principles that apply equally in the military, corporate world, and parenting. We also highlight his involvement with the Reconnaissance Foundation, which supports Gold Star families and the broader recon community. 

https://www.reconfoundation.org/

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Transcript

 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode. A couple of nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and how many of you are living by the seat of your pants, you know, just making gut spontaneous decisions, and maybe it's working for you and maybe it's not. And then how many of you are, you know.

Debriefing, executing, thinking, planning, and really thinking about the philosophy and the principles behind your actions. We're gonna be getting into that conversation today along with military service, reservist side, as well as deployed here with Mr. Francisco Garza. Great to have you here. And could you please tell us a little bit about yourself?

Great to be here, man. So my name is Francisco Garza. Uh, I'm a native of Texas and. I went to Texas a and m, uh, figured I would join the service 'cause my roommate was joining the Marines. I followed, right him, uh, him right in. So ended up in the Marine Corps. Uh, first job was as an infantry officer. Did that for four years on the active component side.

Then I did, uh, four years with the, the recon community. So for those of you who don't know, marine recon. Um, they call us super grunts or like super infantry. Um, we are an infantry type unit, but we specialize in parachute, insert scuba dive, um, dragger rebreather inserts. So like a lot of amphibious stuff, hydrographic surveys, deep reconnaissance, stuff like that.

Uh, while I was on active duty, I did two deployments to Japan and the far East. And then with recon, I did one deployment at with the mu, which is a, a Navy deployment. So putz around Southeast Asia, you know, went into the Gulf of Aiden, attempted to do some anti-piracy, never saw a single pirate, and then ended up in, uh, Djibouti in Kuwait, and then back on ship for the long ride home.

Um, after that, uh, the way that I tell the story is I woke up on my buddy's couch. I was 30 years old. I had, uh, two surfboards and a frying pants in my name. So I was like, you know what? I need something else in my life, uh, other than the Marine Corps. So. Transitioned out, stayed in the reserves. 'cause um, personally, uh, at that time I thought like, hey, like I still wanna be a company commander and I can do that in the reserves, so I'm gonna stay around for a little bit, hit that wicket, and then, you know, I'll see where, see where my life's at.

So, got out, went to University of Houston, was getting my MBA, you know, COVID happened, graduated during that. Um, I went back on active duty actually for a year, uh, in that time period. And then we're at the topic of this conversation, right, like philosophy, resilience, like not flying by the seat of my pants, like it came to a head at the end of that.

So this is post COVID, post MBA post active duty year out of the reserves. I get the phone call, uh, actually I got two phone calls in quick succession. Um, oh. Also, I had my first child, uh, during this time period. So my son was born. So a lot of change coming back off active duty. I was looking for a new job and I get two successive phone calls.

So the first one was from my reserve unit, and there was, they asked me if I wanted to be a company commander. Uh, so the answer to that was obviously, yes. Like this was the last thing that I wanted to do, like I, I will do this. Um, and then the second phone call was from a buddy of mine. That I met at the, um, university of Houston.

Well, you know, we were both in the same cohort, but why we bonded is that we were both Marines. So he gave me the phone call, was like, Hey man, like there's this job. Um, it's in consulting. Um, they're hiring managers and I think you'd be a good fit. So I was like, awesome. Thanks for the tip. Let's do this. So in the span of really a few months, you know, like.

Let's say a year. Uh, so in the span of a year, I went from being a full-time student that was kind of putz around. Like I had a, like an entry level job at NASA as a contractor. So like I was just like living the life. Um, you know, but then I had a kid, uh, I had, was coming off active duty orders, so I needed to find a real job quick.

And I had just taken on the responsibility of being a company commander. So like, would. All of this going down. Like I was just flying, flying off the seat of my pants, like going with my gut. Like, this is what I want, this is what I need, like I need, I need more income. I need higher civilian, like civilian job titles, job pay, um, I'm gonna be a company commander, I'm gonna be a dad.

And like it all kind of came to a head. And as I'm sitting there, like with all these changes happening, um, I came to the conclusion that I should probably write down what it is that I believe because the. The needs in my life were pulling me in in mutually exclusive directions, right? Like if you're gonna be a good husband and a good father, like something's gotta give.

If you're gonna be a good marine, especially in the reserve sense, something's gotta give. If you're gonna be a good corporate, um, like a leader in the corporate world, something's gotta give. So I decided that I was gonna write down like, Hey, what is it that I believe and why do I believe that? And the first draft was absolutely terrifying.

Um, but I would highly recommend it, right? Like try and write down what you believe and not like super granular specific, but like write down like what it is that I believe what is at the core of my belief system and like how does this relate to like my philosophical approach to life's decisions. Um, and granted, like flying by the seat of my pants got me to the point where I was.

But once I got there. As the saying goes, right, like it's one thing to win a or it's one thing to win a war, to win an election, it's another thing to govern. Um, and that's where I found myself at, where it's like, Hey, like here I am. Like I did ev like I did the thing that I set out to do. Now what? And the, the attributes and skills and gut reaction and like aggressive, like I'm going to accomplish the task mindset that got me there.

Once I got there, that was not how I was gonna be successful. Um, so that's where the whole genesis of me writing down what is my philosophy came from. Right? I gotta say I have to make a t-shirt, join a recon to fight pirates. Learning how to scrub a toilet, you know, because, uh, when I was in the Navy was a lot of, um, you know, you think you're gonna do this, that, and that.

It is just like clean, clean, clean. You're, you're wiping down surfaces, you're sweeping, you're mopping, you know? You learn how to become um, what do they call it, like warrior of the, of the janitorial closet, you know? But, um, I will say, so let's go back to the very beginning when, you know, your roommate says he's going into the Marines now.

So you didn't necessarily go officer intentionally, it just happened that way 'cause you were already in college or, um, you know, like if you hadn't been in college, would you have just enlisted or would you have gone officer route through college? So this one is a direct, so my dad's from Mexico, right?

Like neither of my parents are American by birth. Uh, they're both Americans now, but my dad's from Mexico and I told him like when I was in high school and I was like, Hey, I'm, I'm just gonna enlist. And I was looking at the Marines of the army, like I was always inclined towards those two services. Yeah.

And my dad was just horrified because the. Where he comes from. Like, that's not necessarily a good thing to do for your life. So he is like, yeah, absolutely not. Um, he's like, my brother, my older brother had went to Texas a and m so my dad like, had seen the campus. He liked it, he liked the culture. So he, like, he, he literally dragged me to Texas a and m and showed me the Corps of Cadets, um, and the ROTC programs out there, which I ended up not getting an ROTC scholarship.

I had to go, um, PLCI wasn't smart enough for. For, uh, for that ROTC money. But, uh, he took me up there and was like, look like you can do whatever you want, but I like you will at least apply here and you will see how this treat like this treats you. Okay. Um, so my dad is the one that put an absolute kibosh on, on that dream right off the bat.

You know, he didn't tell me no. Right. Which I think was very like emotionally smart on his part, but he showed me like a and m and was like, apply, like you will apply here. If you get accepted, I want you to at least try it. And then that's where I met, you know, honestly, like that's where I met my best friends or most of my best friends, right?

Like they were all there and fantastic group of like super capable individuals. And my roommate being one of them, he was dead set. Like, Hey, I'm gonna be a Marine. And I was like, Hey, like you're a cool dude, so like, let's do it. So that, that's kind of the nexus of that, um, journey. Yeah. Did you two go in on the buddy system or was kind of just like a unofficial buddy system?

Hope we meet up at the same command unofficial buddy system. So this, his name is, I, I'm not gonna drop names. Um, I didn't ask him before this, but, so essentially him and I signed up together for the purpose of going to Officer Canon School together, and he, I actually attribute my entire career to him because like I'm driving to a party.

In 2008 and he, my phone rings so I pick it up, you know, a full disclaimer, you know, don't talk on your cell phone and drive. I was young, but like, pick up the phone. I was like, Hey man, what's up? And he is like, are you nervous? And I was like, ah, that's a tomorrow problem. And he's like, but the plane leaves tomorrow.

And I'm like, what? And like, I like pull over. I like, you know, start digging through my stuff. Like, this is pre smartphone. So like, I had like a, like a literal folder and I was like looking through it and I was like, oh my gosh. Like I thought the, I thought I had left on the, on the fifth, like my plane ticket says depart on the fourth.

So like, I make a youi and like drive home, like start packing. Yeah. So like him and I end up going to OCS together both summers and then, um. He ends up through a fluke, right? Like we both end up getting delayed graduation by a semester. So we end up commissioning together in December and then our paths divert a little bit, but then we both end up in Hawaii, um, and like I'm on deployment.

He's back at home driving my truck. Then like I come back and like am sleeping in his, like sleeping in his like house while he's packing up to go. And then at one point during one of our deployments, he like knocks on my door, like in Okinawa. I open it and I'm like, what are you doing here? He is like, this is my room.

And it's like, oh. So you and I have just been crossing paths the entire time and it is been amazing. That's good. Yeah, that's very blessed. 'cause if you both joined and then went opposite sides of the world forever, it would've been like, we didn't really think this through, did we? But yeah, I guess Hawaii, is that, is that where the surfboards came in?

So I live in Galveston, Texas, and this is actually where I, like, I'm from the Houston area, so Galveston is our beach. I learned to surf here. Um, the waves are small, um, but. I'll say that they're probably the easiest waves to learn on 'cause it's all sand bottom, very forgiving. And um, you know, like surfing in California or like Hawaii or like, even to an extent like Peru and Japan, those are the, those are the places that I have surfed.

Um, you know, like they, they get territorial 'cause like there's a lot of surfers and you know, the waves there are like very precise. Where in Galveston it's like if you see another surfer, it's like. You start waving at each other frantically where it's like, there's two of us. Like this is amazing. Yeah.

So a little bit friendly around here. I watched a show once where it was actually a surfing competition in Texas, but they were doing it on the waves of the tanker ships. So tanker ships would come through and then they would catch the waves on their, on their, uh, wake. So that was pretty cool. Uh, something interesting.

Yeah. But I was gonna say, so let's fast forward. So. Reconnaissance. You said it was kind of like the super grunts, like, um, why did you decide to like, go so far into the Marines, so to speak, with that kind of work? No, it's, um, I had a, my battalion commander on my second deployment, he was a reconnaissance Marine.

My executive officer for that battalion, he was a reconnaissance marine and like I went to the executive officer and was like, Hey, like I'm thinking about getting out. You know, like, again, like your perspective changes, but like at the time it's like, I joined to, to go to combat and we didn't. So I was like, I'm, I'm done.

Um, and my executive officer was like, Hey, you know, like, 'cause t typically with the Marines, after your first stint you go to a shore duty or a B billet, that's admin focus. He's like, you know, there my executive officer, my battalion commander was like, if you go recon, you're almost guaranteed another deployment.

At that time, like, you know, Iraq was still kind of dicey. Afghan was still going while I was at the reconnaissance course. Like the, the school that qualifies you, like ISIS popped off. Mm. So like, you know, it was still a pretty dynamic, uh, like landscape when it came to conflict in the Middle East. So, like, they sold me on this idea where, you know, like, hey, if, if you can pass the, the reconnaissance course pass, dive, go to Airborne.

Like you, you'll get another shot soon. Um, and it just didn't shake out. So like that was the, you know, like I could leave the Marines after four years. I had, you know, honorable, I could have gotten honorable discharge, right? Like done the thing, but they sold me on it. Um, and you know, like is, that's kind of a complex emotional question.

Like, do I regret never going to combat? Uh, 'cause you know, like there's a part of me that wants to say yes, but. There's also the logical side of my head that's like, you know, maybe it's good that people didn't shoot at you. Um, yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to ask you, uh, to begin with. Well, first of all, uh, yeah, I, I can relate to the, hey, if you go recon, you're guaranteed to see action and it doesn't happen.

There's a lot of, um, mil, I, we call it military guarantees, right? So I, I don't anything that's military guaranteed I don't trust at all. Um. For people who have never had that drive or desire to, to go to combat, like there are plenty of people who would say, Hey, they'll be the first to raise their hand.

Gimme the admin job. I'll, I'll stay. So sore tour. What was kind of your drive in, in motive for like wanting to go to combat? Was it a, a sense of purpose? Was it hopefully not blood lust, but hopefully it was like a sense of purpose, you know, like what was the reason, you know, there's. This kind of goes back into the philosophy, right?

Like I didn't have a philosophy at this point, so I, I'm, I mean, a part of it probably was blood lust. I wouldn't have described it like that, but yeah. You know, in lieu of a better answer. Um, but I think what the, at the time, right, like, you know, hindsight's 2020, at the time what was driving me was like family history.

So neither of my parents are American. So like to dive deeper into that, um. On my mom's side, we'll start with that 'cause it's more immediate. Uh, my mom is a, I don't even know how to, like, the story's kind of weird. So she was born in Hungary at the time of communism. Um, so this goes into the stories of my mother's father.

So, um, this guy. Was an interesting dude, uh, to say the least. So he was a kid during, in Budapest Hungary, during World War ii. So like, he witnessed the firebombing, um, of Budapest by the Allies. Right. Like he lived it and he didn't really talk about it. Right. Like, but he told me enough because he knew where I was going in my life trajectory.

So he, he was more open with me than the other grandkids. Yeah. So like, he opened up about like some of the, the horrible things he saw during that and like. You know, there was a, it was a movie, I forget the name, but like the wire runners, like you put the big spool on their backs and like you make 'em run.

Yeah. So my grandpa shockingly, uh, the communists and the Nazis didn't really care for the lives of children. Um, so my grand, whoever controlled his block, whether it be the Nazis or the communists, they would. Round up the kids and put spools on their back to run wire. So like, that's my grandpa did some of that.

Like, I'm not saying he, it was like epic or like always in danger. 'cause some of it might've been benign. Uh, but it was, it was enough of a pain where he mentioned it, um, kind of, you know, in a way in which made me feel like he didn't like it. So, you know, he did that and then like after the war, he was.

Let's, let's just say he wasn't always on the right side of the law. Um, the communists robbed hungry, blind after the war. So like, he, he resorted to some nefarious means to like, provide food and like money for his family. Um, mostly stealing and selling on the black market, but, um, particularly like old arms or like old war material.

So, you know, then that happens. He goes to university in Hungary and he gets. Conscripted, uh, by the communist to be in the communist military, and he's a tank commander. Um, and he had some act on the fun side, right? Like it's not all doom and gloom. On the fun side, he had some hysterical stories of him and his buddies as like tank platoon, like T 34 ended up in like the Hungarian countryside and how they were all just a bunch of like dumb kids that got in trouble constantly.

Um, yeah, but I digress. But then. Hungry revolts against communist rule. Um, you know, some say it is because the US said that they would support anybody in their fight against communism. So Hungary heard that and said like, Roger, that kicked the Russians out. The Russians didn't like it. The Russians came back in and they, you know, flattened Budapest.

Uh, so my grandpa was involved in that, uh, to varying degrees. Um, and, you know, he was persona non grata. Af obviously, like, you know, if you, you know, take a tank against, uh, the communists, they tend to remember that. So his only saving grace was that he was a, a very brilliant engineer. So he gets married, he has three kids, my mom being one of 'em, and he's like, I cannot stay here.

Communism one has it out for me. Two, they're not allowing me to explore like the extent of what I want to do specifically with diesel engines. And he had a buddy that had escaped during the conflict and was living in of all places, Columbus, Indiana, and he was working for Cummins Diesel. So like to this day, like Cummins Diesel, you know, awesome company.

Thank y'all So. Uh, he gets a phone, like, maybe, maybe not a phone call. That's probably way too modern. Um, he gets word somehow that like if he can get out of Hungary, Cummins Diesel would sponsor him to come to the United States. So he tries to like get his family and jump the border. They go down to like Yugoslavia to try and swim to Italy.

They get caught both times and you know, it's like, hey. It's like, if we keep doing this, we're gonna get burned. So like, they hire, I don't know what the term is in at that time period, but I refer to him as a coyote. Um, right. Like, so he hires a coyote and he is just some dude in, uh, Austria that gets a kick outta smuggling humans.

So like they're in the, uh, trunk of a car and they like bribed the right people and they finally get into Austria. And then from there it's just. High speed, like how, like the fastest way we can get to the United States and outside of like the reach of the, the communist authorities or people who try and extradite us back.

And then like, that's how they got to the United States. And so for me, like that's one half of the family and it's like, wow. Like, like that's like a hell of an idol to have and then not try and pursue something similar. Um, and then like even on my dad's side, um. My great grandfather on the Mexican side is Gustavo Madero and his whole family were very involved in the 1910 revolution that, you know, the Battle of Casa.

Uh, I believe it was the Battle of Casa Grandes was the big one. The, you know, the Division del Norte, they, they overthrew the, I was not prepared to talk to this. I'm, I'm blanking on names. It was the Scientific coast, but the, the name of the dictator escapes me. Porphyria Diaz. There it is. So they overthrew the, the scientific hosts that were in charge of Mexico and Gustavo Madero, my, my direct ancestor, his brother Francisco, ended up being president of Mexico.

Uh, and then unfortunately they were all murdered, um, power politics at its worst. So, you know, like you have these two com, like these two sides of my family and these stories, right? Like it was, it was for me. I'm not saying it was right. Uh, I'm absolutely not saying it was right. But for me it was a very driving thing where it's like I wanted, I want to touch history in the same way that like my grandpa, my great-grandpa did like that.

That was a very drive, a big driving force for me. For sure. They set the bar of legacy right there for you. And then, um, so how would you say, I mean like the recon school, how did you feel about it? Was it really difficult? You know, going through diet school, going through the aviation stuff like. Was it really physically demanding for you?

Was it the mental aspect that was worse? Like how was that experience for you personally? Um, mentally, the number one thing that breaks people with the reconnaissance community, or at least what I think, I don't have the, I have never been given the numbers. What I think breaks the most people is, is the water.

People aren't comfortable in the water. And to my parents' credit, yeah. They put us at in swim team when we were like five years old and we were in swim team through high school. So like it was phys. Yeah, it was very mentally taxing. 'cause like anytime you're in a situation where you have a crippling fear or failure, right?

Like if I failed this school, I get an adverse, you know, fitness report or an evaluation and like I'm gonna be sent somewhere like needs the, I have zero say in where I get sent if I fail right. A hundred percent needs of the Marine Corps. I'll end up in like, I don't know, Greenland, watching a computer screen, like doing PowerPoint.

It's like all of my worst fears, like being cold and doing Microsoft Office. So, you know, like there was a, anytime there's a gripping, like a crippling fear of failure, like that's just mentally taxing. And then from the physical side, like the water I was very comfortable in. So that was great. But, oh man.

Um, to show you like the level of like intensity. Of the, of the course. At the end of the primer course, they make us run a, a physical fitness test, and I ran three miles in 19 minutes and six seconds or something like that. That is like, I have not ran that fast since I was like, I was 27 when I went through the course.

I hadn't ran that fast since I was at least 2017. So like best PR in a decade. I come through the finish line, they call out the number, I'm holding my ribs. I'm like, Paning, I'm getting down on my, like, holding my knees, like, you know, like, ugh, like, you know, checking my pulse, like, oh my gosh, this is like the greatest thing ever.

Like I just ran three miles in 19 minutes and then I just hear from like way off in the distance, like. Someone yelling, Garza, hurry up. We're waiting on you. The entire class had already finished and was done stretching, right? Like the ca the caliber of physicality that the, that that community attracts is like phenomenal.

I was absolutely the slowest on, I on land, probably one of the weakest people in my class. Uh, you know, I love associating with people better than me, um, because people think I'm that good when I do that, so I'll take it. But like, yeah, like the, the on land physical fitness part was, it was horrible. It was a gut, gut punch every day.

Yeah. I, I remember it was like mind blowing because I've ran some five Ks. I remember like I prd that like. Under 18, like, you know, 1756 and it's like, wow, I, I don't think many people can do better than this. And then you hear some person who's like 15 minutes, it's like, how, like, how I like all, I think some people are just built different.

So I, I, I totally relate to that. And yeah, I, I get the fear of like, rerating as, as we call it in the Navy because there's a lot of people who, um, either. They all said they got injured, you know, so I don't know how true this is, but all these form NA people who went through the Navy SEAL program, who ended up on my ship, who said they got injured or, or dropped out all boats and mates, you know, basically the, I don't wanna say the lowest or the low in terms of like, it sounds degrading, but like the most basic job you can get in the Navy, which is kind of like just doing all the manual labor, kind of just like.

You know, all that stuff. Um, painting, cleaning, um, sometimes you can rera it. It was like, yeah, it's kind of, you know, not all of them wanted to do it. Uh, but basically it was like, Hey, you failed, so now we're gonna put you where we can put you. And other times I heard stories where, you know, they failed and they said, Hey, um, you're still a really smart person and, and still really physically fit so.

You know, here's your selection of, of jobs to choose from. It really depends. Same with the nuke school. Uh, some of the people who failed out, they were basically just involuntarily told to go to the worst place with the worst job. And others were given some choice depending on billet availability. So yeah, I totally get that.

And you talked about like not being too grounded in in philosophy or principles through a lot of your career. What would you say kind of. F uh, you know, like, did that come down to, to parenting? Did it come down to just like not having like, um, you know, religion or, uh, mentorship? Like what, what kind of kept you kind of, kind of flowing in the wind, so to speak, and like, you know, should parents focus?

Like how should parents focus on distilling principles into their children so that they make informed and purposeful decisions? That is the million dollar question, man. Um, so like one of the things, and like that I've kind of come to the conclusion of is that I'm not an expert. So like, when it comes to my philosophy, I'm, I, I want to view it as me walking the path with everyone.

Like, I, I have no expertise 'cause I'm in the thick of it right now. Um, since having my, my son, I've had a daughter and then twins. Um, so I had four kids under four for, or. I still have four kids, four and under. So it's instilling, I would love to talk about how I instill principles in my kids, but like I'm really trying to get those twins to eat solids.

Yeah. And, you know, but that, but that in essence, right? Like that's flying by the seat of my pants. And like, I go back to philosophy, I go back to religion and it's like, all right, like I'm in the thick of it. Like I don't have time to do complex thinking, but I've written down. My thoughts, right? Like, how do I do this?

Um, so full disclosure, it's stoicism and Catholicism are kind of the two pillars of where I've drawn this out. And just, you know, full disclosure, I was raised Catholic. Um, I, I met a lot of really bad Christians in my time. Um, so at some point in college I was like, you know what? This ain't for me. And the thing about my upbringing though, um, is that I felt like it was not just a religion, it was also a culture.

And I think that was a little bit of the saving grace when it came to meeting my wife. My wife is actually, um, a very like devout Catholic and talking with her. She, you know, like her and I came to, came to the agreement that like, you know, if we get married, like we would raise, raise our kids Catholics, we would be a Catholic family, which I was already, like I said, I, I felt culturally Catholic and I have no qualms going to church.

'cause I'm not a, I'm not a faithful per, no, that's a horrible way to say it. Um, I'm not a spiritual person, right? So like, you know, like if you have a personal relationship with Jesus, like I envy you and congratulations. Like, I, I really, you know. Pursue that. I just don't, um, it's my struggle. Like I can't, I can't bring myself to do it.

Um, I'm trying, but. What I found, and again, like full disclosure, like I was raised Catholic and you know, surprise, surprise, I found Catholicism to have some, some answers that are worthwhile. So the thing that I liked about Catholicism is that it's very articulate in explaining, you know, what do these words mean?

Why? Why do we do this this way? And I say that not to advocate for people to be Catholic. I say that because you know, when you look into like. I wanna be a fair and you know, just father that exercises temperance. It's like, okay, that's great. Like, who's defining that? Because like you can open a dictionary and say, all right, this dictionary's definition of it is going to be the end all be all.

But then it goes like, how do you, how do I execute this? How does, like how do I do this in practice in real life? How do I do this beyond just saying the words? Um, and I found that. Catholicism in particular. And I'm sure that like other denominations have this, and I'm again, like, I'm not advocating for a single denomination, but I really enjoyed reading the amount of literature that the cath, the Catholic church had on it.

Dating back all the way to like the early church fathers. Like, you know, before, uh, before like Aquinas you had like, um, St. Augustine of Hippo and like even Polycarp and like some of those really early ones, which gets really wild when you write. You see these people arguing things that people argue today.

Hmm. Yeah. You know, the year 400 and it's like, well, we still haven't, we still haven't decided on who's right, but, you know, what is it now, like, over almost two, almost 2000 years, and we'll get there soon, but, um, you know, the, the history and like the reference documents reading this, like being able to read those source stocks was like, okay, so I use Catholicism as the deep dive and I use stoicism as like the practice of the day-to-day.

So like with stoicism, depending on like who you talk to, like some of the, the, the big one is Epictetus, or I feel like the big one is Epictetus. Um, he was a slave in the Roman Empire and he was, uh, his name I think literally means the acquired one. And he eventually earned freedom. Um, but he had just written down like all of his thoughts on like, Hey, like.

My life is horrible. But you know what? Like, so what, and he, he developed this, like this philosophy, or he took a pH like, again, like I don't wanna get into the history of stoicism because it, it's a little bit more complex than what I'm leading on. Yeah. But you know, you have people like Epictetus who was a slave that, and you know, ended up being a teacher of emperors.

You have. Emperor Marcus Aurelius. Uh, you have, you know, before that you had Cato, who famously, you know, like he was beyond reproach, right? Like, and he was a military commander. He was a politician. And, you know, rather than live under Caesar's tyranny, you know, he decided to like fight to the bitter end until his death, you know, like, and these types of people, and the way that they articulate it, the way that they spoke about it, was very appealing to me, specifically as a Marine and as a man, right?

Like these were. Commanders that like didn't sit on the sidelined. These were people who like, who didn't talk about it. And like, one of my favorite Epictetus quotes, don't explain, don't explain your philosophy. Embody it, right? Like it's not enough to talk about these like high principles. You gotta, you gotta do it day to day.

Like you gotta live it. Um, and it goes down to like core virtues. Four cardinal virtues of stoicism like align, I think very nicely with a lot of Christian denominations, like wisdom, temperance, justice, courage. Right. And then, you know, you have the flip side of that. Like what are things that really tank you, like as a father, as a, as a service member, as a corporate leader, it's like, you know, ignorance, gluttony, wrath, sloth and like, and gluttony though.

Like, I'm not talking specifically food, right? Like. If you overindulge in one thing, like you're gonna pigeonhole yourself and you're not gonna be va like valuable. Like you can't, you, you gotta have a little bit of everything. You can't just really hyper indulge in one thing. Like taking it to like the corporate culture now.

Like you can't dive a hundred percent into ai, right? Like, 'cause you lose touch with what AI is trying to do, which is help people in their day-to-day, like it requires temperance. Like you can't just say like, we're gonna replace. X amount of functions with artificial intelligence. Like 90% of, i, I should avoid numbers.

A large percentage of AI pilots fail, like a shockingly high number of AI pilots fail. Yeah. And it's, you can't just like go all in without understanding that like this is a system. Um, but so like when it comes to parenting and like. When it's all said and done, I, I view parenting as my number one respon my responsibility, and I mean that in, in a very particular hierarchy.

Number one is my wife. I love my wife more than I love my kids. Again, not, I'm not saying that's for everybody, right? Like this, I'm not an expert. We're all in this journey together, but that's how I view it because how I love my wife is gonna be how my kids view relationships. Yeah. So I wanna love my wife.

More than anyone else. And like, am I good at that? No. Like, but I'm trying. So then I love my kids and I love, I try and love them all equally. And then when it comes to the principles, I think the number one thing when it comes to kids is temperance, right? Like, I'm not gonna be good a hundred percent of the time, but if I can try and be consistent, if I can try and like approach situations in the same way, and my kid and my kids know what to expect.

Um, whether I'm angry or happy, like try and try and introduce temperance into my approach. I would say that that's like the number one thing that I try and do. Um, and that, you know, that comes from a combination of stoicism and like, uh, you know, Christianity. Um. That also came from like that, that time period we talked about at the very beginning where it's like, I'm gonna be a company commander, I'm gonna be a dad, I'm gonna be a corporate, you know, like corporate manager.

Like, what does this mean for me? Like, 'cause the one thing that clients love, the one thing that kids love, the one things that my Marine, like the Marines love is consistency. Like that's that, that's really what it comes down to. Like if they know how you're going to react. So like, let, actually let's break this down for, for the military side.

If you're subordinates know how you're going to react, they understand your reaction. That increases their reaction time. And like in the US military, we operate off of the maneuver mindset, the desegregated command, like empowering your subordinate leaders to act with intent. The key to being able to increase the decision matrix like the decision chain.

Is to give people confidence in what your reaction's going to be, to their decisions. 'cause it's like, Hey, if I make this decision and I don't know how this dude's gonna act, is he gonna be upset? Is he gonna be happy? Is it gonna be like if I make this decision and it's, it ends up failing, but I made it for the right reasons?

Am I more concerned about the outcome than I am with the, like, the reason for the decision? So like, especially with recon, like the company commander's not making a lot of tactical decisions. Those are like down at the team leader level, like platoon level company makes very few tactical decisions. So it's like, I need, like, I really wanted to, like, that's another driving force behind like this philosophy was how do I explain to people how I'm going to think and react?

Like, 'cause you need, like, y'all need to know what I'm thinking so that you can make decisions faster. Um, and then like, again, go to the corporate side. Like what clients love consistency. Like, it doesn't matter if like you can deliver an excellent product this week and then next week it's like subpar, even if it's just a little subpar and then the next week you're back on top like that inconsistency can be troubling 'cause it's like I'm paying something for a product.

And now, like, I don't wanna presume intention of all clients, but it's like I would rather pay for something that I have a guaranteed return on than I do where it's like I'm paying this entity and hoping that, you know, like I get a good week like that. That consistency breeds confidence in buyers. And then again, like we already talked about parenting, right?

Like kids love consistency and like being temperate in like that approach. Yeah, for sure. And then would you say, are there any other, um, principles or practices that either the marines or recon or both kind of instilled in you or that you learned through your leadership there that, uh, you still kind of embody today?

Uh, as a father and just as a man in general? The, the big one I've, I've learned the hard way is, you know, like, and I alluded to it earlier. If somebody made the right decision, and if somebody had the right reasons and the right choice, and it just ended in failure, do not for me, right? Like again, inward focused.

It doesn't matter what the outcome, well, that doesn't, that's probably an overstatement. The outcome outcomes matter, but your reasoning behind the outcome is just as important for the outcome. We cannot control everything. We can only control what we control. And if we have put in the correct mitigation factors for what we can control and the outcome is not what we wanted, I am not gonna lose a, I'm not gonna lose sleep over that, right?

Like, I can't control outside factors. Like the clients introduced a, a new stakeholder last minute that hates, you know, that hates Ariel and once times New Roman, right? Like. Hey, I have no control over that. Right? Like, am I gonna be upset over something I have no control over? No. Or it's a, this, you know, like this young Marine made a decision and his, you know, that led to utter training, a training failure, right?

Like training failure. It's like, Hey, what was his decision process? And it's like, if this decision process was solid and it's just like, hey, like his, his team, his squad failed to like, just down the targets. It's like, all right, that's an accuracy issue, right? Like, we can, we can correct that. Like the decision was fine.

So like, don't be strictly outcomes dependent for your reaction. Like that to me was the biggest takeaway from my military service. Like if you're only judging people off outcomes, people can make horrible decisions and it could work. Right? And if you reward that, then you're incentivizing a culture that is Yeah.

Like has no, does not care about process and only cares about outcome. And that is, that is a dangerous culture to have. Yeah, they call that the, the ends justify the means kind of, you know, philosophy. And I'll say too, with what you said, that I wish more military leaders embodied. And, you know, I got to overhear my, uh, captain on my ship.

I was sitting in the, uh, the mess hall for the chiefs saying, um, they were doing the captain's mask next door, and the, and the captain stepped out to do the debrief with the higher up, uh, in the, in the chief's alley. So I gotta overhear some of that and. I really liked the way he looked at it, which is the way we've talked about, uh, ideal parenting on the show, which is not blaming the individual first.

Right? But looking at all the environmental factors. So a lot of times in homes, it, you know, when I, let's say a child acts absent in school, and then the parents get a phone call, they come home, and a lot of parents would be like, what's wrong with you? Why did you do the, well, you know, you, you, you, instead of.

You know, asking and looking at environmental factors, like, for example, one of the number one things is like if a child has always had, you know, good grades, and then suddenly they start failing a class, well, people will say, why didn't you study more? Why, why aren't you trying hard? Instead of being like, is there family drama at home?

Is there's some kind of hardship? Is there's a hardship at school that's affecting, uh, the child's ability to study over their grades? But so many people are quick to blame. Same with military people say like. Hey, this member did X, Y, Z, because they're not trying hard enough. Like for you said if it's, um, you know, if it's a, especially if it's a team thing, it's like, no, actually it was because of all these other moving parts.

So I think it's so important. Again, it kind of like hinted at, you know, not just jumping to the blame of the person because of the outcome, but looking at like everything that affected the outcome rather than placing the sole responsibility on the person, like still hold them accountable. And, you know, but you should definitely do a full investigation into it.

And then, you know, I, I want to get into as well, we talked about your time in the, in the reconnaissance, and a lot of people say, um, like once a Marine, always a Marine. And so I know that you still kind of keep up with all that stuff. And you and I were talking beforehand about the Reconnaissance Foundation.

So I'd love for you to tell us a little bit about that and how you're staying connected with the community. Thank you for that, man. Um, no. So the Reconnaissance Foundation, it's the foundation for the Reconnaissance community. And what I mean by that is, uh, any recon Marine or anybody who served in a recon battalion, um, this reconnaissance, the Reconnaissance Foundation is their foundation, or at least that's how they market it.

And they do phenomenal work, um, particularly with Gold Star families. And, uh. There's, you know, there's a special place I'm sure every service member can relate. Like, we all know somebody, unfortunately, it's just a high risk job. Like we all know people who have died. And there's one thing, like we all, we all would like to be the people that, you know, like reach out to the family, offer help.

Um, and it's hard, especially like people in my stage of life, it's like I have four small kids of my own. Like, it's really hard for me to like. Take on more. And what the Reconnaissance Foundation does is it hosts an annual, uh, gold Star family retreat, among other things. They do a lot of, a lot of work for the, for the community as a whole.

Um, but for me personally, like what, what pulls up my heartstrings is that Gold Star family retreat. And, you know, it's a small thing that we can, or that I can do to, to give back to the community that, you know, has given me so much love. Um, well, tongue in cheek love, like it's a pretty cutthroat community, but yeah, we love it.

So, yeah, like, it is, it's, the only thing that, um, I would probably advocate for is, you know, take, if somebody wants to give, um, I'm not asking you to, but if you, if you feel inclined that. Reconnaissance Foundation is a good foundation that really supports, uh, families of those, of the fallen. Yeah, and that's exactly what I was gonna ask you to explain is because like I know what Gold Star family is because of my service, but for all those listening, especially civilian side, what does, what does that mean?

So, a Gold Star family is a family that, um, has a service member that has died so. You'll see flags sometimes outside of houses. So blue star with a white background with a red outline. That typically means that somebody's deployed. And then if it's a gold star, that means that somebody's died. So when we say gold star families, um, it's for any family member of a service member who has died, uh, in the line of duty that, you know, the, that family's in loss and it's really, um, the hardest.

I only have one, I only have one Marine that, um, I keep in contact with his family, um, that has, that has died. And you know, like when it comes to those families, like there's, there's a hole in that family that just can't be filled. Yeah. Um, and I, I absolutely don't wanna perpetuate like a, some sort of like perpetual victim narrative 'cause that is not the case.

Um, but. I think that it, it is very, in the same way that like whenever I'm around other veterans, like I feel like I can go back to a part in my life where, you know, like I could speak a certain way or like, say certain jokes that like no one, no one knows what a DD two 14 is outside of the military. And that's like a great punchline, right.

So like, that's a part of my life and like there's no way to get around it. Um, for those gold star families to be around other gold star families, to be amongst members of a, a community that can relate to what their, their service member did. I feel like that maybe not, healing's probably not the right word, but cathartic.

Um, and I think that that's a lot of good. Yeah, for sure. And we're gonna have the link in description below for anyone who wants to check out the Reconnaissance Foundation further. And funny you mentioned that I, I want to buy the other day. This guy had outside his business, uh, mannequin, wearing a shirt that said.

DD two 14 alumni or like graduate? Yeah, I wanted it, but it was just for display only. I was like, I gotta find me one of those. 'cause I thought that, I think that was funny. It was like set up to look like a college shirt and everything with like the same font style and stuff. So I was like, that's pretty funny.

I'll, I'll, I'll take that. But um, yeah. So I mean, we kind of talked about a lot here. If you could kind of, you know, sum it all up into one final message as we wrap up here, what would you want everyone to take away from our conversation? So one, if you haven't written, write, try and write down your philosophy.

Like go through, like what are some virtues and some vices that like you find important or that you want to avoid. Write down, you know, high level stuff. Like what is the most important thing for me? Like, what is, what is it that I want to like pass on? How is it that, how do I approach adversity? Um, when I experience hardship, like.

How do I personally stay resilient and how, like what? What can I come back to to make sure that I'm making consistent decisions over time? Now those decisions may change based off information, but I wanna be consistent in my approach. And then last thing, you know, like you can only control what you can control.

So focus on that. And if you can focus on what you can control, everything else tends to fall by the wayside. Yeah. Alright, well, Mr. Garza, first of all, thank you for your service to this country and then thank you for, I think, like you said, uh, podcast guesting, you know, going out there and sending a message when, um, you know, entirely voluntarily, you know, you're just doing it because you wanna see people thrive.

So I appreciate that, you know, you're still serving the community beyond your recon day, so I appreciate that and I wanna thank you for your time today. Thank you.