Chronic Pain Warrior: A Young Man's Life Completely Altered By A Single Injury

Today, I sit down with Davis Bain, the author of Chronic Pain Warrior, to discuss his life-changing journey through post-concussion syndrome, chronic pain, faith, and rebuilding after loss. Mr. Bain shares how one unexpected hit to the head during Air Force ROTC physical training changed the course of his future, ending his expected path toward a Space Force commission and forcing him to confront a new reality of brain fog, migraines, light sensitivity, depression, and daily physical limitations.

In this episode, Mr. Bain explains what it is like to live with post-concussion syndrome after a traumatic brain injury, including the frustration of being told by doctors to “give it more time” while his symptoms continued to worsen. We discuss the grief of losing a planned career, the isolation that can come with chronic illness, and the mental health challenges that many people face when their body no longer allows them to live the life they once expected.

Mr. Bain also shares how his Christian faith was challenged by suffering, especially when well-meaning people offered poor theology around healing, pain, and God’s purpose. He talks about reading Scripture from Genesis to Revelation, wrestling with the sovereignty of God, and learning that God can use suffering without abandoning the person who suffers. Together, we discuss why the church must become better at weeping with those who weep instead of rushing to fix, correct, or minimize their pain.

We also highlight Mr. Bain’s book, Chronic Pain Warrior, which is written for people living with chronic pain, traumatic brain injuries, mental health struggles, and the friends and family members who want to support them well.

https://www.chronicpainwarrior.com/

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*Couple O' Nukes LLC and Mr. Whiskey are not licensed medical entities, nor do they take responsibility for any advice or information put forth by guests. Take all advice at your own risk.

Transcript

 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple O' Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and today we are here with a, or I might say, the chronic pain warrior himself, the author of Chronic Pain Warrior, and a gentleman who's gonna share with us his journey of dealing with a sudden incident that left his life different permanently, and he has had to deal with the results of that on a daily basis, and so he's here to share his story. Mr. Davis Bain, so great to have you here. Again trying to address a topic that maybe is not for everyone, but to the people who are dealing with this, it can, it can mean the whole world to them. It can change maybe what they're going through, and it can build what's so important when it comes to more unique stories like this, is there's a lot of isolation, a lot of feeling like I'm the only person dealing with this, or no one understands. So trying to spread some awareness about this topic. I definitely am excited to get into it with you. So if you could share just a little bit about yourself, and of course your story of what happened to you that would be great. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. A little bit about me is that I, three and a half years ago, was living a pretty high octane lifestyle. I was a senior in college. I was in the Air Force ROTC program expecting a commission into the Space Force. I was excited about this path. I was ready. I was eagerly pursuing it. I was a mechanical engineering student and deeply involved in my campus ministry, and so I was always doing stuff, always busy, but I loved my life, and it was so much fun. At PT one morning, I got hit in the head, and that changed my life forever. That was three and a half years ago now, and what started as just another concussion in a total of, like, 10 or 11 that I've had in my life turned into post-concussion syndrome, essentially where I never got better after h- the initial symptoms of a concussion. So as three weeks of recovery turned into six, and six to 12, I slowly realized that my commission was lost, my career was lost, and I was left with almost nothing, and I had to rebuild from there with none of the health that I used to have before. And so it's changed every aspect of my life, from work to my relationships, to my ability to rest and recover, to my relationship with God to my mental health. It's, it's affected almost everything in my life. And yeah, post-concussion syndrome has been a, a immense challenge over the last three and a half years and continues to be to this day. Now, you talk about getting hit in the head during PT. What kind of PT activity results in that? Obviously not it- one that was intentional. Yeah. So I, I got hit in the head with a soccer ball. It was kind of a morale day for us. It's one of the couple days in the semester where we got to play games for our PT instead of just the running calisthenics and- Mm ... you know, typical stuff that you would do. And so got hit in the head with a soccer ball, and it felt like a stupid injury. It was small, it was slight it was intentional to where I was trying to head the soccer ball, and it's kind of one of those fluke accidents where it doesn't make sense why it happened, how it happened, but it did, and I'm here today with post-concussion syndrome, still struggling even on an impact so minor as that Right. I know when we were in the military, we had RPT days as well, and then I think, I don't know if it was once a week or every few days, we would do one where we would play volleyball instead or ultimate Frisbee or something as still a physical activity, but one just to, to help maintain morale. So I, I relate to that. And yeah, I think it speaks to just sometimes, I don't wanna use the word, you know, fragility of life because you know, it's not about you being weak or anything, but just that, you know, sometimes, like, things just line up that way. And so you talk about how was that journey of, like, discovering, like, "Hey, I'm not getting better." Were... You know, was it frustrating talking to doctors and they're saying, "Just give it more time, more time," and you're like, "It's, it's been too long"? Or were the doctors kind of on top of it, they were like, "Hey, you've got post-concussion syndrome," or like how was that medical journey? Yeah, it was really hard. I, I, I think you had it right the first time, where the doctors were like, "It- you're gonna be fine. It's okay." You know? Right. Like, "Just give it time. You'll be better." And that's not how it went. So initially, I felt a sense of brain fog that I had never felt before, where I just didn't feel like myself. I would look around my kitchen, and the cabinets didn't look right to me. Mm. And I was like, "This is so weird." I would get a headache when I would try and cook and, like, look down and chop vegetables. I would look at a beautiful sunset, and it didn't feel the same anymore. Like, it didn't emotionally affect me like it used to. Or I would go to something that I enjoyed, like a walk in the park or enjoying a beautiful sunny Minneapolis day, and it just didn't feel the same, and I just felt out of it. I felt foggy. I didn't feel like myself. So I knew pretty early on that there was something different, but I was still hoping that I would recover like every other concussion. And then as I went to doctors, then went to specialists, I quickly realized that the best of modern medicine wasn't gonna help with my concussion because no one in modern medicine really has a solid expertise well-developed process for concussions. Like, TBIs are kind of a black hole in the medical system right now, and as much as a lot of different practices have claim an advanced understanding our understanding of the human brain is still so little that to actually understand what's really going on in a concussion and how to treat it when you have chronic post-concussion syndrome it you know, I, I quickly realized that, that no one was gonna really be able to fully understand what I was going through. But I would have to try and go from specialist to specialist to specialist, seeking if they could do anything to at least help my symptoms. Right. You know, every way the brain gets impacted during a concussion injury is slightly different, you know, 'cause every part of the brain is a, a different one. And I wanna go back to the actual incident itself. Were you aware of a concussion at the time? Did your vision blur? Did you, did you black out at all? Or was it kind of like, "Hey, I still have a headache after the soccer game, I'm gonna go see a doctor," or did you leave right then and there? Yeah, so right after the impact, I, I kept playing. Like, I, I didn't feel it for the first probably 20, 30 minutes. And that's again why, why I, I felt this kind of sense of shame over getting injured like this, is that I didn't feel it right away. I didn't black out. I didn't have bleeding in the brain. I didn't crack my skull. I didn't have a major TBI, but I just kept playing the game. And then as time went on, I started to feel a headache. I started to feel out of it. My vision felt like it was going on me, and just everything seemed to be getting worse. And so it was, it was kind of a gradual set in for me. Mm. Now, at what part in your journey did you kind of accept, like, "Hey, I have post-concussion syndrome"? Was that, like, an official diagnosis, or you just came to that conclusion? Like, how has that process unfolded? Yeah, so I think the threshold for post-concussion syndrome is three months. So if you're not better after three months, it's kind of an automatic diagnosis. Mm. And the nature of any syndrome diagnosis, like syndrome essentially translates to, we see a pattern, but we don't know why it happens. Mm. And so some syndromes med- the medical world knows a lot about. A lot of syndromes, like post-concussion syndrome, we really don't know that much. We just see an observable pattern of symptoms. And so getting that diagnosis didn't really change much because I knew that it was kind of a you hit the three-month mark and you're still not better type diagnosis, and they just kind of slap it on you as a label to organize you. And so, getting that diagnosis didn't really affect me too much, and I think- Mm ... anywhere from, like, month one of recovery, or recovery, 'cause I'm still here today to, like, a year in, I was fighting against it. I was pretending I didn't have it. I was trying to live the life I had before. I was- Yeah running as far and as fast away from it as possible, trying to pretend that I was gonna get fully better, get back to military service, get back to all these things I was pursuing and have it not impact my life. But as I kept trying over and over and over again and experiencing debilitating brain fog, migraine, headaches, light sensitivity, noise sensitivity all sorts of weird, like, central nervous system dysregulation in my body, I realized that it was more serious than I was hoping it would, it would be, and that it was gonna impact my life for a long time. Right, because as you mentioned in the very beginning, this was right at a turning point in your life where you're about to now launch off officially and go into the life you had set up. So can you talk about that, the pivoting, the point where you're like, "Hey, I have to give this up now. Not voluntarily, but this is what I have to give up now." Where, how do you rebuild your life from that when everything you were just about to do falls apart? It's a great question, and I wish I had a, a super concise answer, but I still feel like I'm building right now. Mm. Like, it, it was a long and slow process where it was kind of like the stages of grief, and to a degree it is every day to where it's, in the beginning, I was in denial. I was, I was not gonna be defined by this injury. I was not gonna let it hold me back. I was going to seek out and find every available health treatment, supplement, diet that I could do. I was gonna continue to exercise and push my body to recover. I was gonna, you know, c- challenge myself cognitively and make my brain pathways, you know, rewire and, and work well, and I was gonna do everything I possibly could to make myself better. And then I even, i- in that kind of stage of aggressive denial, I was thinking very, very kind of cocky thoughts where I was like, "You know what? This is gonna make me a better military officer. I'm gonna be a, you know, a, a, a, a better public servant because of this. I'm gonna be a better engineer. I'm gonna be better at whatever career I end up doing. I'm gonna be a better leader of people because I'm going through something so hard, and once I get through this challenge..." And I was thinking so future-oriented but also present in that I couldn't see any other possibilities aside from continuing the path that I was on. And then as time went on and I wasn't getting better, I, I guess I had to slowly and painfully accept that that wasn't gonna be the case, that my life would look very different from this path I had been pursuing for seven years prior, that I, you know, I, I kind of had to grieve all these expectations I had of myself to, to be excellent and to be, you know, this, this high-achieving, high-octane individual that was running after things and taking on heavy challenges. I went from that kind of life to, how do I get through today with a manageable level of symptoms? How do I work through my you know, suicidal ideations? And how, how do I stay alive today? How do I get up and go to the grocery store when I'm experiencing a ton of depression? How do I even start to look for a part-time job when I'm hurting so bad every single day all the time, and I don't know if I can work? So it-- I think the, the level of pain and suffering I was going through very quickly transitioned my mindset from, "I'm gonna defy this and run away from it as far as possible," to, "How do I just try to be grateful for today and get through another day?" And then along those lines, you mentioned in the beginning how this has affected everything in your life, including your journey of faith. So what role has faith played in all of this? Yeah, so I have I, I, I've been a very strong Christian since I was about a junior in high school. I was in a, a, a guys group that really challenged me and helped me grow in my faith, and so really gave everything to Christ when I was a, a junior in high school. And, and was on fire even in college, and, you know, was actively involved in campus ministry and everything. And I'd say my faith maintained fairly strong throughout my concussion. But as I was being told from, from I think people with good intentions but bad theology that, that God definitely wanted to heal me, that God wanted to take away all my pain and suffering, that God wanted to make me thrive in the world with money and health and wealth and business. And I, I, I think that bad theology probably, you know, kind of dripping down from prosperity theology really impacted me in a negative way where I was viewing and I was being told that, that God was definitely wanting to fully heal me, and yet I wasn't experiencing that. And so it was really hard for probably a year or two where the church I was at and the, the friends I had and the input I was getting from other people well-intentioned, but I think not very strong biblically were, were telling me that God definitely wanted to heal me and that that God was opposed to my suffering and that you know, they weren't painting it from the perspective that there could be anything good in it. Simply that, that God wanted to heal me, and I wasn't experiencing that. And so for me, it made me feel like either God wasn't real or God didn't love me, or I had done something so bad against God that he had completely abandoned me, and I didn't know what it was, I didn't know when it was. But I just felt like I was on my own and that God wasn't gonna come to the rescue this time. And I, I think as I got to that point, I realized I needed to read the Bible for myself 'cause I had just listened to other preachers up to that point and read probably most of the New Testament, but not really the Old Testament. And so I sat down and I read Genesis to Revelation in about, in a little over a year, and through that process I realized that God d- God often does allow and use suffering and use it for his glory and our good. Mm-hmm. And so it kind of reframed my perspective. It helped me so much to dive into God's Word and be restored and, and rest in the sovereignty of God, and it has so much deepened my faith on a daily basis everything that I've been through. But that was a long journey and a slow process, and a lot of intentional conversations, time in prayer long Bible reading sessions, and trying to grow and listen to podcasts and do everything I could to, to become more theologically sound, if that makes sense. It does, and I think that's g- great framing for it because I think a lot of people do put this ex- expectation into their lives that God is going to take away everything rather than use everything. And it's about the usage, not the taking away that is what is more theologically sound. And so I'd love for you to share if there's a quote or scripture on your heart that has maybe guided you through all of this more than any other quote, or just one that you like to share a lot. Is there a quote you could share with us? So I'd like to share a couple passages from scripture that have been great encouragements to me. The first one is from Job 1, and this is from the NLT. It says, "The Lord gave me what I had and the Lord has taken away, taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord." And for that, it just... I mean, there's, there's also a passage in Ecclesiastes that basically says the same thing, where it says that good times come from God, and so do hardships. And so for me, the theology that it's kind of, like God and Satan are kind of on an equal playing field, and we're in the middle of this battle, and don't get me wrong, there is a battle, but that, that God and Satan are kind of rivaling equal forces is was so damaging theologically for me because Satan is a created being, and there is no match to God. Like, it's not, it's not a battle. The battle's already won. It's, it's not even, like, a, a, a consideration of who's gonna win or anything like that. Like, Satan is trying and clawing and doing everything he can to deceive us and pull us away from God, but no one can stand against the power of God. And so to, to say that in God's sovereignty, he both brings good times and hard times was so, brought me so much peace because it helped me to realize that my current circumstances are not a- apart from God, that I am not living apart from God, that I am... or, or at least my circumstances are not inherently away from God, and Scripture affirms this over and over again when we hear about the faithfulness of God and how God is present amidst every circumstance that we go through and how he is faithful and how he is there amidst all of our trials and in ever-encouraging, ever-encouraging help in times of trial. And so it really helped me to reframe it theologically, where I could say, "This is from God." Like, God has brought this, or God could have at least pr- prevented this and taken it away and healed me by now, and so he has a plan, he has a purpose, and he's gonna use it for good. And I don't know what that good is right now. I don't have to know it. I can look for it, and I can try to figure out what that good could be, but at the end of the day, if it's from God, I can just trust him and trust that it's for a reason. And then another scripture that I really like, I think it's from Romans 12, where it says, I'll, I'll just paraphrase, but I think it, it roughly says "Weep with those who weep, and be happy with those who are happy." And it's talking to the Roman church from Paul, on how to support each other, and I think that as a church, we, in, in America, as a church, we need to be a lot better at weeping with those who weep. So if someone's in mourning we can be so quick to judgment. We can be so quick to, "Hey, have you tried this? You just need to do this. Just simply try this one thing. Read this... like, listen to this podcast even or read this one Bible verse," and trying to fix each other. But sometimes what we really need when we're weeping and when we're sorrowful and mournful is to have someone to sit there and weep with us, to be happy with us, to share in the joyful moments, to kind of come alongside us and, and meet us where we're at. And so that's my- kind of biggest piece of advice for people that are trying to walk with others who are going through immense suffering is meet them where they're at. If they're crying, sit there in the tears with them. You don't necessarily have to cry with them, but a- as much as you can, be there in the sadness with them. Grieve with them. Like, walk with them through that emotional process, 'cause it will produce fruit if it's allowed and encouraged and and not dismissed. Right. I agree 100%. I think we need to listen more and talk less, and you know, of course it comes from good intention trying to help support someone with different resources and information. But first and foremost, you have to care by listening and, as you said, weeping with them. I agree 100%. I think we're very quick to try to present solutions before we've even heard, you know, the whole pain and story, so that's definitely something. And then we talked about, you know, God creating something of fruition out of hardships, and one of those things is actually, you know, you mentioned a book and I mentioned, I alluded to the title of it when I called you the chronic you know, chronic pain warrior. Can you tell us about your book? You know, deciding that what you're going through is gonna be- come a vessel and inspiration for literature, and actually creating a book. Yeah, so it was one of the coolest gifts that I feel like I've ever received in the ability to produce this book. It, it, it doesn't make sense how I was able to do it because, you know, when you have a post-concussion syndrome or a TBI, it's, it dysregulates the central nervous system, which regulates everything. And so if your brain is not functioning right, if there's some combination of neur- of neuron death, neuron damage, and vascular issues in the brain, and usually some whiplash in the neck, and all sorts of various factors on why the brain isn't working right and isn't healing it, it, it should come as no surprise that, like, everything is dysregulated. So mental health, emotional health everything. And so I don't know how I was able to write the book. Like, honestly, I don't get it because about a month or two before I wrote the book, I could hardly sit down to write a letter. You know, I could hardly... I, I couldn't really read. Like, I couldn't pick up a book and read more than a page without getting a pretty intense headache, and if I pushed, through a migraine. I don't know how I was able to sit there for hours on end editing and reading And I really feel like it was a gift from God that I was able to handle that. Like, it, it just felt like it was supernaturally blessed, and I'm, I'm forever grateful that, that I even got the chance to finish this book. But I wanted to produce a resource that was practical, that was actually helpful, that wasn't just, "Hey, here's another book on, like, one small, tiny ad- obscure aspect of what it's like to have a chronic injury." I wanted to produce a genuinely helpful, encouraging real, authentic, and beneficial book so that anyone who reads it could get something beneficial out of it. And so I wanted to start with my story to feel like I could earn the ability to give advice 'cause I, I, I've read a lot of books that have just jumped right into advice, and I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, why do I trust you?" And so I wanted to take the time and give my story. So the first third - Hmm ... is my story, both in the sense of, like, what was it like... You know, when I wrote the first chapter, it was an account of the day before, which was one of the hardest days of my life when I was working a landscaping job, and I had all sorts of symptoms. I felt terrible, and I was just scared of what I was going through that day. And so the next day, I started writing, and that was kind of like a day-in-the-life account, and the next couple chapters were kind of a broad overview of my symptoms. The second part of the book is my advice to friends and family on how to support their loved one who's suffering well and for people that are also going through it, fellow chronic pain warriors. And then the last part of the book is dis- is a discussion on very sensitive topics. And so I wanted to take time, and I wanted to discuss the increased risk of suicidality when someone has chronic pain. I wanted to discuss my experiences with that and, and what it can be like to hopefully paint a picture of what it's like to go through it. I wanted to talk about mental health and pursuing therapy and all of the potential downfalls that can come with that when you're talking about chronic health conditions. I wanted to talk about money. And in the last chapter, I talk about faith, and I, it, it, it's kind of a exposition of certain scriptural passages about suffering to, to try and show people that God isn't necessarily opposed to them because-- that God isn't opposed to them because they suffer. That's kind of the main point to that chapter. So I, I hope the book is helpful. I, I really genuinely, I just... I, I wrote it with the intention of helping one person, and that's kind of what I hope it does on an individual basis as people read the book Right, and we're gonna have your website in description below where people can see the book, and then just a little bit of other information as well. And I think it's amazing what you're doing, you know, taking your time to try to help support others who are in your situation, knowing that it's not at the forefront of everyone's mind when they're living their day-to-day life to be like, "I wonder what someone with post-concussion syndrome is going through right now." You know? So trying to reach out and help support not just those people, but most importantly the people supporting those people, because when you're going through all the symptoms and how it's affecting your day-to-day, you know, ultimately it will affect those around you, and they may not know how to you know, handle that situation with, with empathy, with, you know, the proper ways to address those situations. Or as you've already mentioned, sometimes we just need to listen rather than give advice. So there's a whole bunch that goes into it, and I think it's important, too, that you're sharing, you know, your testimony of faith through hardship, which again, a situation that many people may have given up their faith. So I appreciate you, you know, putting that into the book and creating this resource despite your symptoms and the hardships of writing, to help make an impact, and then of course podcast guesting to spread that awareness. So as we wrap up this episode, what would you want the main takeaway to be I, I'd say that for, for those who are listening that are currently going through chronic health struggles or just kind of big existential type issues in their life y- your experience is one of one. Like, like no one knows what it's truly like to have your unique set of symptoms, your unique difficulties on a daily basis. But also e- even in the loneliness that comes with that and realizing that, like, nobody truly knows what it's like to be you there are many people out there many people who have been through it and want to help so desperately, that have been through the loneliness, that have been through the you know, feeling daunted by their health struggles on a daily basis, that have been through the scary symptoms, that have been through immense challenges and been able to persevere. And so I would say that you're... Like, no one is truly alone in the overall kind of universal aspects of what suffering brings. But I, I do wanna give credit to people that, that no one truly knows what it's like to have, you know, su- such a difficult set of, of circumstances with financial stress and loneliness and mental health and physical health and all sorts of factors that can combine to make for a, for a pretty miserable m- miserable few days Right. I, I, I relate to that. You know, I think that we need to spread awareness in community, you know, not to have anyone feel completely isolated even if their circumstances are unique. Because faith grows in community, joy grows in community, support grows in community. It's really important to make sure that we're not alone, and also just helping. One thing that I've been able to do through this podcast and have really opened my mind up to is supporting people going through things that I've never gone through, may never go through, and am, I'm not going through. You know, like I've, I don't have post-concussion syndrome, but I wanna help highlight you because that's a way for me as someone who's not going through it to still help support you and then share it with others who need that support. Just like, you know, I've covered women's menstruation health on the podcast. I've covered different things in military branches of service that I wasn't a part of because we should all be helping support one another, and that includes conversation and awareness. You never know where that conversation is gonna make an impact, and even if it's not something that's affecting you personally, it may be affecting others, and you may have that potential to make an impact. So I think that's so important. That's why I really value the podcasting space and social media. As much harm as it does, as much evil there is out there, they are also platforms for people to make an impact, make a change, and to highlight things that aren't even a part of their life. I think we need to be less focused on ourselves. It's not just about what we're going through and what we have, but it's about all of us have different things we're going through, and how can we support one another despite our differences and despite, you know, not going down that same path. So I appreciate what you're doing, and I thank you for your time today on this episode. And thank you for what you're doing, too. I commend the work that you're doing. It, it's, it's needed, and it's necessary, and it's very helpful, so thank you. And thank you so much for having me. It's been an honor