Feminine Leadership with Founder Dani Watson

Have you ever felt stuck in overwhelm or perfectionism, sabotaging your own success?

In this empowering conversation, Dr. Kayla welcomes Dani Watson, founder of The Clique which provides ICF accredited coach training & courses empowering women to create their success story in the coaching industry. Dani is also a founder of She Leads, Feminine Leadership coaching & certification to help women redefine how they succeed, lead & make money.

Dani and Dr. Kayla discuss feminine leadership principles for sustainable business growth and personal well-being. They explore the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energies, detaching self-worth from productivity, and overcoming patterns of self-sabotage. Practical tips include accepting help from others, prioritizing self-care, and enjoying small wins along the journey toward your goals.

We talk more about: 

• Feminine leadership principles
• Embracing feminine energy for business success 
• Qualities of feminine leadership 
• Impact of feminine leadership on teams
• Overcoming self-sabotage and perfectionism

Connect with Dani:

• @dani_watson_coaching 
• @we_are_the_clique
• Free coaching courses for new & established coaches

The Clique Academy  - use code 'KAYLA' to receive a discount 

Good Protein:

Website
Discount Code: DRLUCAS30

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Send your questions & comments to: info.thewowpodcast@gmail.com

You can also share it on your social media and tag me @the.wowpod & @iam.drkaylalucas

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Thank you so much for being a part of the WOW pod community; until next time!

Lead with love and joy!

Transcript

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Danielle Louise Watson: Switch mine.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Do you want me to be like.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: You can. Yes.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: let me know if you.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Just oh, hang on.

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Danielle Louise Watson: let me see. Oh, yeah, that's fine. Okay.

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Danielle Louise Watson: there we go. Oh, I'm so

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Danielle Louise Watson: 1st of all, I just wanna say, thank you so much for your patience and understanding. I know this has been quite chaotic trying to get this, and it's been a number of errors on my part. So I just want to apologize and say, Yeah, I'm so grateful to be able to be on your show and thank you so much for having me.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Oh, Danny, listen! I knew that as soon as I kind of found you, and started to just learn a little bit more about what you're doing in your world. I knew I really wanted to have you on the podcast this is an empowerment, podcast you're doing a lot of empowerment work in your business and in your daily life, and I haven't had anybody discuss the topic of feminine leadership, and I know that you are going to be so well versed and just, a beautiful calming presence

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: to our audience and to this podcast overall. So just welcome to the show I'm so grateful to have you.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Thank you so so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. And yeah. Excited to talk more about feminine and leadership.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Absolutely so. I know I found you, I think, just about 6 months ago. If if no one has heard about you, please just share how you started to get onto your journey, how you started to embrace feminine leadership principles in your work and your personal life, and what that really looks like on your day to day.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Yeah. Great question. Well, I think for me. It was really an alien concept. So let's kind of take it back to the beginning when I 1st stepped into the world of entrepreneurship.

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Danielle Louise Watson: and I'd come from a corporate background which was very much you know, hustle hard mentality. So I initially trained as a lawyer. So I was working in the corporate world, where everyone was working hard and staying late in the office as a batch of honor. So this was very much all I'd ever seen, and a part of me wanting to start my own business

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Danielle Louise Watson: was because I was craving a different pace of life.

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Danielle Louise Watson: I could see people that were really at the top of their game succeeding, but I looked at all of the sacrifices that they had to make to get there, and they just didn't seem happy, especially the women.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And I saw a lot of incredible women drop out of the corporate space because they felt like they just couldn't keep up with the demands that we're putting on them, especially women that had gone on to create families and become mothers. And I saw that. And I thought, Well, this is ultimately where I'm heading for in my career I want to be super successful. I want to, you know, really be good at what I do. I want to get paid well.

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Danielle Louise Watson: but I don't see myself in that role where I've just sacrificed all of my life to get there. So I kind of had this myself to a place in my career where I just felt incredibly lost because I started to question everything that I knew. You know, I'd always gone the safe route climbing that corporate career ladder, going to university to get there. And

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Danielle Louise Watson: all of a sudden I was thinking, well, this isn't what I really want, but I did not know what I wanted as an alternative, and I think a lot of people find themselves in this space. So I started to explore

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Danielle Louise Watson: different avenues, and I started to look into coaching, maybe as a way to kind of help me, and to figure out what I wanted, what my values are, and to really start working on my own mindset as well, and it was through working with a coach that I discovered coaching, and I thought straight away. This

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Danielle Louise Watson: feels like what I meant to be doing. So to fast forward the story a little bit. I started my own coaching business, and you know for me it was about doing something more purposeful, more meaningful, but also to be able to escape that corporate rat race.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Now fast forward a year into my business, and I realized I'd very quickly found myself back into the same patterns of stress burnout, hustling super hard, and there was nobody putting this pressure on myself. I no longer had a boss that was telling me what to do. This was all coming from me, and the thing was I'd seen a really great amount of success in my 1st 12 months, but it almost felt like I'd hit this milestone.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And I thought, Can I really sustain this? I kind of don't even feel like I want to keep kind of moving towards the next goal, because this doesn't feel sustainable to me. So it was at this point I started to realize, like, if I want to continue with my business and continue to see the success that I want myself, and also for the clients that I'm working with. I need to start redefining how

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know how I succeed, how I lead others, and how I make my money. And so I started to kind of dig more into

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know personal development just for my own journey, and that's what led me to the work of the feminine and the masculine energy. And it was completely new territory for me. But as soon as I started to dive into what it means to be in our feminine, and how

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Danielle Louise Watson: naturally we are meant to not always kind of be on 24, 7. We're meant to be more present and focus on who we're being rather than always focused on what we're doing. A lot of things started to make sense for me. And I realized for so long myself and many of other incredible women I saw within the corporate place. We're really too much into that masculine.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So I started to dig into this relationship between the feminine and the masculine, and I realize that it isn't about solely being in the feminine. It's not an either. All thing. It's about finding our sweet spot between the masculine and feminine, so that we can actually create success in a way that feels really good, that really is able to

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Danielle Louise Watson: prioritize our own energetic needs. Where we're able to honor our own boundaries, where we're able to get support where we don't feel like we're in this constant, like hustle, mode, mentality, where we're competing and we're forcing for things. Success gets to be this really beautiful, almost easy thing, where it feels joyful versus the masculine. Which kind of tells us that we need to get to our goals, no matter what the cost.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So for me, it was starting to play around between, you know the masculine and feminine, and figuring out what my own unique sweet spot is so

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Danielle Louise Watson: over sort of the next few years that followed that it was really kind of a a journey of self discovery, and I knew very quickly that I wanted this to be a part of my work, but, like with anything I do, I'm very much of the opinion that I want to get to experience it for myself first, st without necessarily being in a rush to kind of support others with this.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And so for me, it was really figuring out, okay, well, what does being in my feminine mean for me? How is this going to support me? And almost kind of being a guinea pig big for for this kind of this work and coming out the other side and realizing actually, this is really powerful, it's something that's not being spoken about enough.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And I think this can be the real, make the real difference between the women who are incredibly capable, but perhaps tap out before they are able to see what they're really capable of, not because they're not good enough or their business model isn't good enough, but because they are operating too much from the Matthew, and are not in that energetic alignment.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So really a big part of the work that I do now is really teaching women how to embrace their feminine energy more so that they can succeed, lead, make money in a way that feels really really good.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: I think you all can gather that this is gonna be a really juicy conversation, because so many women will resonate with the masculine. I am one of them. I can be very much attuned in my nervous system to be more in the masculine energy. I love what you said about focus on the who versus the do. And I think that's so. So challenging for so many of us, for a variety of reasons.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: I think conditioning is definitely a part of it. But these types of conversations really just put a normal language

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: to what women feel and how we're operating inside of the patriarchy, and how we can sort of start to step outside of that and really get clear, as Danny said, on the sustainability of our businesses, because I think there is some healthy back and forth between masculine and feminine energy. Most of us really know the difference between like what masculine feels like, but feminine seems to be a bit more

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: foreign. So I would love for you to unpack. You know the masculine versus feminine energy in terms of leadership and the characteristics of a feminine leader like, what is the avatar? What does she look like? How does she move? How does she speak? How does she think, Danny.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Yes, great question. And and I think you're absolutely right. It's it can feel almost alien for a lot of women to be in their feminine. So a big part for me was

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Danielle Louise Watson: being okay with going slow. I love the phrase now, like, slow is the new luxury, because in a world that really values pace and doing things at speed. We're often taught that this is the only way to be successful. The idea of slowing down just feels so like luxurious and like just not a thing that we're naturally used to doing with ourselves. So for the feminine leader she recognized where

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Danielle Louise Watson: she is starting to work out of alignment with what feels good to her, and for this is going to be different for everybody. So again, this is finding your own unique, sweet spot.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So it's being able to slow down and really prior prior prioritizing who you're being and how you're feeling before you take any kind of action versus. Okay, I've got a to do list. I've got this goal that I'm reaching towards. I just got to soldier on and get on with it, no matter what the cost.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And of course, action plays a key role here. But often we take that action from a place of fair panic. Almost desperation, and we're not necessarily in tune with how our body is feeling. So a good example of this is when you've got a deadline for something, and you're tense, and you're stressed and you can feel it in your body right? Often we just.

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Danielle Louise Watson: We know what our body is telling us. Yet we allow the mind to take the lead. So being in the feminine is adopting more of a body, heart centered approach where we're really tuning into what am I feeling in this moment? What is my heart telling me, and allowing our intuition to guide us a little bit more? And that would be the other part of being in our feminine is

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Danielle Louise Watson: really trusting ourselves. Our intuition, especially as a woman, is our superpower, yet often we hand over our power to external guidance. So

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Danielle Louise Watson: maybe it's relying too much on an expert to tell us what to do, or we're taking direction from a boss, and we don't question things. And sometimes we have that sort of niggle of, okay, this isn't right for me, or this isn't necessarily what I should be doing or what I feel like I want to be doing. Yet we just continue with with something regardless.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Being in our feminine is

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Danielle Louise Watson: self trust. It's about being able to really give space to our intuition, and rather than just discard it, really kind of lean into that a little bit more, and that can sometimes feel quite scary, because we're often just not used to like allowing our intuition, like our logical mind starts to take over

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Danielle Louise Watson: so a good example of this is that maybe you've got sort of something that you're working on, and logically everything saying you should go with X. But something within you is saying, no, you should go in completely the opposite direction

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Danielle Louise Watson: like, can you trust yourself in that moment to kind of go with the what your intuition is saying rather than you know the logical minds taking over

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Danielle Louise Watson: another big part of the feminine leader is her ability to actually accept support.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Now, I think for me, this has been a real kind of challenge, because

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Danielle Louise Watson: I was a bit of a control freak again, like a very much a quality of somebody who's too much in their masculine where they try to control the outcome. They try to pat micromanage everything because they're very much wanting things to look a certain way, whereas the feminine leader allows for things to go with the flow. A little bit more is I able to surrender that control, and a big part of this is perhaps bringing on, say, for example, team members or people that can support you within your business or within your career.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And allowing them to be your guide and kind of lean on people a little bit more rather than being, you know. I'm the super independent boss woman who's got this figured out and tries to perhaps figure it all out just because we can figure figure it all out doesn't necessarily mean that we should. So these are just some of the the qualities of feminine leadership. But yeah, as I said, it's it's not this, either. All thing, because this parts of the masculine that are really valid and important as well.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So, for example, you know that ability to kind of be resilient and just kind of knuckle down when challenges arise like there's going to be times, especially in business where that will benefit you. The ability to take massive action, I think, can sometimes be, you know, more of a masculine quality. But it's making sure that when you are perhaps in your masculine a little bit more, it's not to the point of exhaustion. It's not to the point of burnout, and it's still kind of feeling good for you.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think it's really, really huge for women to be able to accept help that's the thing that stood out. The most to me as you were speaking, is like.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: The delegation portion and wanting things to be perfection is really not sustainable, although I think there's points to do it.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: and points to not do it like what mountains are you willing to die on like? Does the email have to be so so perfect? Does the does the branding like you. You have to be in consideration of what Perfection mountain you're gonna die on, and which ones you're going to feel good delegating cause. I don't think that women. Often I think that women, when we start businesses definitely, we start smaller. And then, as we scale, we almost feel a little

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: nervous for that scale to come in, because it's it's more overhead. It's more responsibility. It's more people to manage. It's more things to consider.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: But we don't necessarily have to hold ourselves back from the next step by not getting the help that is required to sustain a successful, beautiful business model in whatever way is described and defined by you. So I think that's super important. You you touched on how. This was a very challenging component for you. Accepting the help. You know, I know that feminine leadership is going to be quite different than our more traditional, and I would say, stereotypical leadership styles.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: But what is the impact of feminine leadership have on your team and your organization for the success that you reach.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Hmm, yes, really great question. Well, I think initially, just the fact that there is a team for me, you know, that was really a shift into my seminar because I realized that I was addicted to solving problems. And, you know, almost addicted to stress. I used to say that stress was my emotional home, because when I was fixing problems I was a little bit stressed and I kind of thrived under that stress and pressure because I'd been so conditioned that that equals success.

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know. The more stress and pressure you put yourself under, you know, being in that masculine, the more success I was going to see, whereas when I started to bring on team members, and I finally let that happen.

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Danielle Louise Watson: I was like, Oh, well, actually, what am I doing with my day? Because I've taken all of these things off my plate? I don't have to think about them anymore. But then, as we often will self sabotage in these moments when things become easy, because

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Danielle Louise Watson: for me this was totally different to how I'd operated. You know, my day wasn't so full anymore. And you know, I started to feel uncomfortable with the amount of space that I'd created in my day. So that's when the micromanaging started to kick in where I was

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Danielle Louise Watson: looking at what my team were doing, and then I was kind of changing things or making lots of suggestions, and it was a real struggle for me to just let people kind of get on with it. But something that is kind of a and big sort of, I guess philosophy behind. How we all work within my company is again making sure that

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Danielle Louise Watson: when we're doing things we're we're able to kind of lean on each other for support. But it's always coming back to. Is this feeling good like, how does this feel within our bodies like? And you know, for my team members.

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Danielle Louise Watson: It's being compassionate with them that they also, if I'm

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know, going to be supporting feminine leadership, I have to make sure that the women around me are also feeling comfortable to be in their feminine as well, and not putting these on realistic expectations and pressures on my team to perform.

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Danielle Louise Watson: because actually, I found that releasing that pressure from them actually helps them to perform much, much better, which when I think back to the corporate world, I'm like, Wow, like there's so much pressure for like hitting targets. And, you know, like

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Danielle Louise Watson: deadlines and specific numbers, like generating certain amounts of revenue. And actually, I feel like that doesn't necessarily get the best out of people. And I think sometimes when we ease a bit of that pressure off people, especially the Time Associated Pressure, people perform a lot better, and what they're creating is much more impactful. And I know that myself, my team have

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Danielle Louise Watson: been able to have a much better impact with the work that we're doing by being in our feminine more.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Yeah, I something just came to my mind as you're speaking about this, because the numbers seem to be such a masculine fixation. The numbers, the deadlines, the things that need to get done. Whereas I personally found leading. And we just did this. Recently we we introduced a new product into our clinic, and we had to meet a certain quota by the end of June, and which is fine, but in my mind I was like that can feel like a lot of pressure for the team to do.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: However, I think the way that you speak life into your team. So for my example, I literally just was like, that's totally easy. That's gonna be fine, like, I'm not worried about it at all. I think your level of comfort as the leader, and when you detach yourself from some of the outcomes that you are working towards in your business can have a profound impact on how your team and the people within your organization seem to perform, to get to set or to change something? Or have you noticed that in your own team, Danny.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Absolutely. And I think the thing is like, it's important to have goals right? It's important to have targets, but it's also having an element of playfulness and lightness about it where it, you know, we're a huge advocate of the Law of attraction. Within the company. And it's this, okay, like, I'm putting this out there. This is what we want to accomplish. Let's just see how much fun we can have in getting that.

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Danielle Louise Watson: and know that we can do as much as we can do. But equally the universe is going to show up, and it's going to play its part in the process.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So it's this co-creation creation where we sort of take one step and the universe when we are walking in alignment. And we're being true to ourselves. And we're doing things in a really fun, beautiful, creative way. The universe is going to show up. And it's also going to support us in that goal as well, so that as well kind of takes that responsibility off. And we kind of always look at goals and deadlines and things that we're doing. As

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know these are not like set in stone, like we've got to get there, or else it's a failure. It's also thinking, well, like, Look, let's put out this ridiculous goal. See what happens if it doesn't, you know, doesn't work out how we want like. It's not a big deal. It's not the end of the world. And let's see if we can have some fun like coming up with solutions as to what we can do better next time. So for me, it's really looking at business at this

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Danielle Louise Watson: constant evolution, where we're progressively going over time. And we're going up and we're going down. And we're just enjoying the ride rather than like this is what we've got to be making by Q. One. And if we don't get that like, everybody's getting fine like that's no fun for anybody. So.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Totally.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Yeah, it's just bringing this bit of lightness into business like it's supposed to be fun. Right? It's you know, it's not supposed to be like this big, heavy thing like constantly on you. And this is really what's gonna create sustainability in your business. Because if it's always fun, even if you know you're not always heading your goals. If you can

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Danielle Louise Watson: celebrate the moments that you're losing as much as when you're winning, I think that's really the key to success. Long-term success.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Yeah, enjoying the journey. So with detachment, I I think that kind of a collective.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: maybe considerable topic is the aspect of self worth and worthiness inside of feminine leadership and inside of masculine leadership there's a lot of productivity emphasis.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: So how do you recommend? And how do you teach your clients, and even in your own journey, like, how can we detach ourselves from our worth versus our productivity, and and really not.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Having those 2 things be in the same equation.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Yeah, really great question. And I think this for most people will actually go further back than just, you know, or I was in a job where I had to be in my masculine. But most of us, it goes back to our childhoods where most of our subconscious beliefs are formed. And you know, typically it's going to come from being rewarded. For you know, working hard. So this is very much my narrative. Where I loved school, I loved learning. And this was how I got praised from

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Danielle Louise Watson: my parents. Specifically, my mom, you know, if I did well, at a test like I could not wait to get home at the end of school day to go home and tell her, because I knew that that would please her. And so it was this kind of

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know, acknowledgement that I was getting, which ultimately, as a child, we take this to mean love acceptance, you know, validation. So this cycle started from a very young age, and then was reinforced from, you know, teachers and

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Danielle Louise Watson: going to university. And then in the corporate world where this message is like, you know, the the harder you work, the more productive you are, the more you're going to get praise, the more you're going to be accepted. And ultimately you know what that really comes down to, the more that you're going to be loved and what humans crave more than anything is, you know is to be loved and accepted.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So it's really about going into the pattern at the root cause. So examining like what kind of narrative was I kind of was forming in those early years from my parents or my primary caregivers that was causing me to attach my productivity, my working hard to you know, my my sense of self worth.

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Danielle Louise Watson: A big big challenge for me was

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Danielle Louise Watson: when I made the conscious decision that I don't want to be constantly productive. I don't want to feel like, you know. The only way for me to feel worthy of success is if I'm working hard, or if I struggled

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Danielle Louise Watson: so when I started to shift into my feminine and allow things to be easy. And you know, for example, bringing on team members. So I, all of a sudden, you know, wasn't having to do all the day to day running. I had a lot more free time. I could go at a slower pace.

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Danielle Louise Watson: I started to really question like

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Danielle Louise Watson: my worthiness of being successful as a business owner. My worthiness to you know, grow my business because it was almost like, well, if I'm no longer working hard, like. What is there to prove myself worthy of this success that I want my business to see?

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Danielle Louise Watson: And it was almost like I couldn't be happy with success unless there was that working hard piece

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Danielle Louise Watson: and so the working hard. It was not just, you know. I I believe, system. It was really just a part of my identity. So identity work for me came

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Danielle Louise Watson: really sort of into play when it came to releasing my worthiness from productivity. But going back to the root cause and looking at that that pattern of you know the the parent child relationship things like in a child work reparanting myself, and really starting to recognize myself as innately worthy. So when we think about you know the baby that's.

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know, new newly born, she doesn't have to do anything to prove herself. She is loved and conditionally as she is. And so it's really starting to build that unconditional love.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Another big part of this for me was starting to really focus on that unconditional love for others. So how we love ourselves is often a reflection of how we're able to love others. And so, really, for me, becoming a mother, I think, was a real big learning lesson for me, because it was probably the 1st time I truly felt that unconditional love where I'm like, I'm gonna love this

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Danielle Louise Watson: person, no matter what you know what what they do. You know that mother's love. That was that that 1st kind of experience, and I think that for me was a big lesson for me, learning how to unconditionally love myself as well. So whenever I started to feel that dialogue come in where it's like, Okay, well, you're not doing this, or you're not being productive enough, or you don't really work hard enough, so do you really deserve that as soon as I had that narrative kick in, I start to ask myself, would I be saying this to my daughter.

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Danielle Louise Watson: would I say to my daughter, I will only love you if you are proving yourself through hard work.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So I was able to kind of

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Danielle Louise Watson: create this relationship, unconditional love with my kids, and that then, was be able to mirror back into the relationship that I had with myself.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: I think it's really important to say, too, that this work of worthiness, in my opinion, is ongoing, like I think it's this collective aspect of your being that potentially like you. You think you are undeserving of it. But I I just got finished reading a book called Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima. I don't know if you've heard of it, but.

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Danielle Louise Watson: It's so fantastic.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: For any human who is maybe just struggling or wanting to unpack more of their that inner dialogue. But in her book she she States. Something along the line of you don't get what you want in life. You get in life what you think you're deserving of receiving. And I think it's just it. Kinda hit me in my heart center of like

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: holy smokes like. So if I don't believe that I can get there, or I have the ability to form that type of success, or that I'm deserving of said, you know, whatever dream I'm thinking.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: then it won't happen, and I think that it's so important to recognize where you've been, how far you've come. Your upbringing as a child, and and some of the things that you've been challenged in your life with and and understand that this work is never done. It's always ongoing.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Absolutely true. And I feel like, whenever you are going through some sort of up level, whether it's in a business, whether it's changing the relationship. Whether it's, you know, financially, you're working towards next goal, like every level, brings a new devil. And I find that this is where I have to come back, and I have to revisit the worthiness.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So yeah, you're absolutely right. It's ongoing. And it's not always linear as well. So I will definitely have moments where I feel like, Oh, my God, I've got this like I'm totally backing myself. I feel worthy of everything. And then, like a week later something will happen. And it's like I've gone back 10 steps. So it's kind of this, like constant up and down, which

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Danielle Louise Watson: makes it sound like it's really exhausting, but I think that almost kind of a part of life as well. It's being able to navigate the ups and downs, and you know we come out of one sort of, I guess, Dumble, and it propels us into our next chapter, where we're even stronger, even more confident, have even more self belief. So yeah, it's it's a process for sure.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Yeah, I couldn't agree more, and I think each chapter prepares you for the next one, and you can't really rush that work. You can't try to force your way through it. And that's really, I think, where stagnation happens and frustration happens.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: You talked a little bit earlier in the episode about self sabotage. And I, I actually really enjoy the topic of self sabotage because it forces a person to consciously consider where they potentially are sabotaging their own success or their own wealth and their own wellness. What are some really common patterns of self sabotage you've recognized, maybe, in yourself and your clients. And how can a person begin to recognize them and then overcome? Surely but slowly.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Yeah.

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Danielle Louise Watson: well, I think a big one for me has been emotional avoidance, which, when it comes to a pattern of self sabotage, will typically look like doing things that will avoid me feeling what it is that I'm feeling.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And I realized that I, being in my mascot in a part of that was really suppressing my emotions. The masculine say, is like, you know, to be emotional or to be vulnerable is a negative thing. You know, corporate world. I remember being in a meeting once, and somebody who I really looked up to a woman in the meeting was

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Danielle Louise Watson: There was somebody that was not being that nice to her in terms of how they were speaking, and they were being very aggressive in that approach, and she started crying.

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Danielle Louise Watson: and the repercussions of that of her being emotional and being vulnerable were really not welcomed, and she kind of got told off for for saying, You know, you should have had it more together. So it's kind of this kind of narrative that we can't be emotional to be successful, to be, you know, a powerful, strong leader. So for me, I have practiced emotional avoidance. And typically what that looked like was doing anything that I could to distract myself from feeling what I was feeling so

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Danielle Louise Watson: it would be numbing myself through either binge watching Netflix series. It might be through drinking. There was 1 point where I had a real issue with online shopping. And it was almost like I was using these distraction tactics as a way to avoid what it was that I was truly feeling and so self sabotage. What we're normally doing is we're normally creating these patterns which

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Danielle Louise Watson: don't serve us as a way to avoid something else that we think is going to be even more painful.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Another way that I really should see it show up is self-sabotage. When women are just about to see an incredible amount of success.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So it might be that things are going incredibly well within a business, and for whatever reason they'll start to do things that kind of compromise, the success track that they were on. So I had a client once. That

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Danielle Louise Watson: just I. It was like about to be a launch, and I've actually done something similar within my own business as well. So it resonated me, and I always remember this client because it was so sort of similar to similar stories that I'd had where she was preparing for a launch, and she started like messing around with some of her Crm system like changing things, and

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Danielle Louise Watson: I'm not sure what happened. But on the tech side of things everything just basically fell apart, literally a day before her launch. So she put in all of this incredible work and energy, and was so excited for this launch, and was just about to see this incredible launch like that. The fruits of her labor, and then kind of self sabotage right at the last minute. So this, when we see this, it's often

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Danielle Louise Watson: what this often ties back to is a fear of success is a fear of what that incredible amount of success could potentially come with. And that's fair can

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Danielle Louise Watson: maybe tied into different things for different people. So maybe it's a fear of responsibility. Maybe it's coming back to the not feeling deserving of it. So it's like, I'm gonna avoid success, no matter what the cost, because I don't, deep down, feel like I'm worthy or deserving of that success. Maybe it's a fear of judgment, you know, if I'm really successful, what will other people think of me?

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Danielle Louise Watson: So yeah, I really, another common path is self sabotage, which I find so interesting because I think on a surface level. Everyone's like, Well, cool if I want to be successful. But when we start really digging into that and pulling things apart, actually, there's a lot of resistance to being that successful leader, successful businesswoman. So yeah.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Well, I think you have to take a lot of responsibility inside of whatever business model you've created to become that type of leader, to become the type of person who would, of course, have that level of success. And it's so interesting as women, because if we see it in a man. And this is not picking on the men, but if we see it in a man, it's almost just like Oh, of course, that makes sense.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: But when we are seeing it for ourselves or for our sisters, I think it's almost easier to see it for other people versus yourself, and the emotional avoidance aspect. One of the things that I'm doing right now. It's so interesting that you bring this up, Danny, because

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: emotional avoidance, you said, like either with consuming goods, or food, or alcohol, or netflix, or some of these outlets that our body just starts to get attuned to, and we learn over time as this coping mechanism, this numbing mechanism.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: I'm fasting from some specific things in my life right now. And it's so interesting. My psychology will come and be like, well, I want this, and it's like, but wait! Why do you want it? What are you not unpacking? What are you trying to avoid? Or is this just a moment in your day where you're feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated by your children. Right? I think there's so many different

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: aspects of self sabotage, and so many layers of it. And we often get really frustrated, and oftentimes we can give up on our dreams inside of that. So, in your opinion, and you know? Why do women give up? Why do we? Why would we give this a shot? And then why do some women sort of give up on their dreams and their hopes and their goals. Inside of this work.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Great question, I think actually, 1 1 thing you just mentioned, the overwhel, I'd say from the women that I've seen that are

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Danielle Louise Watson: incredibly, you know, capable, smart women that have everything to play for often they get themselves overwhelmed with.

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Danielle Louise Watson: I guess, kind of the perhaps the ways in which they're thinking about business. But when we kind of dig into that overwhelm this kind of more stuff going on below the surface, so overwhelm might be, you know, the perfectionism tendencies right where they have a project that they're working on. And they are so busy trying to make it this perfect thing that

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know it's overwhelming them to the point that they don't actually launch anything at all. So I see this hop happen a lot with the coaches that we train where they'll perhaps be creating a program or creating. Maybe I don't know posts for social media, and they'll put so much energy into this. But that perfectionism mind keeps saying to them, This isn't good enough.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And so it's that

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Danielle Louise Watson: inability to just get something done like they get so overwhelmed that they think

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Danielle Louise Watson: it almost then puts them into that Free State where they don't do anything at all. They'll put it to to one side, and then they'll get distracted with their distraction tactics. So that's when they start, maybe, you know, sliding off the bandwagon. So maybe one day they've got this really great routine. And

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Danielle Louise Watson: it's that kind of quiet quitting almost. It's not that, you know, big declaration of Okay, I'm gonna quit my business like, very rarely actually do. I see that it's more of the pattern of quiet quitting where it's this gradual process over time, where maybe they have a bad day. And then that bad day turns into a bad week, and you know, slowly, over time, they start to do less and less within that business to the point. Whether, like, do I even have a business

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Danielle Louise Watson: anymore. Now there'll be some women that come back to it. Maybe they take sort of 6 months a year off. No, they'll come back to it. And and that's fine, you know. Sometimes people need to have that period of reset that makes me sad when I see the women that don't come back to it at all. So

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Danielle Louise Watson: it's kind of encouraging women to remember why they started. But that overwhelm. I think 1st of all, it's recognizing that one bad day doesn't need to turn into a bad week, you know. Any opportunity. We can press the reset button, and it could have been a terrible day yesterday. Today is a brand new day, but it's also just

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Danielle Louise Watson: doing less, putting less expectation on ourselves and just taking each day as it comes.

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Danielle Louise Watson: I think the problem sometimes is when we've got really, really big goals, it can feel like there's so much that we need to do to get there. And it's not to say that we shouldn't have those big goals, but it's breaking it down into something that's a little bit more manageable that doesn't feel so overwhelming. It's not gonna send our nervous system into, you know, shock and overdrive, you know. That's what's happening. You know, our nervous system just freaks out. Say I can't handle this.

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Danielle Louise Watson: and then they again. It's that sort of pattern then of slowly, quietly quitting, whereas if we can learn to start

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Danielle Louise Watson: doing things at a bit more of a perhaps slower pace. And something I want to point out here, which I think is super important is

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Danielle Louise Watson: the pace in which you move as a business owner does not dictate the success you are able to see. I think there's this false misconception that the faster you go, the more successful you are, and I don't know. Sometimes I think I look at my journey, I think. Well, yes, things have happened quite quickly, but equally. There's some things that I've really taken my time on, and I think that those have been the projects that I think have really kind of taken off in a big way.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So it's allowing yourself to perhaps go a little bit slower, and you know, not have this insane amount of pressure that you're putting on yourself, and you know, figuring things out as you go a little bit more, and allowing that, you know, taking one step and allowing the path to become clearer rather than being so fixated on this this end goal. If that makes sense.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Yeah, I love that. The pat, the pace in which you move doesn't determine your success as a business owner. I mean, that definitely hits right in the right in the heart. And just think a great way to think about it

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: differently, because I think that we get so. And I'm notorious, for this is like, I'm thinking, like 10 months ahead, 10 years ahead, like, and I think that that can honestly to goodness stagnate me in some ways, and make me feel frustrated with the here and now, where actually being present inside of the productivity, being present inside of what you're doing in this moment

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: is enough, and it's more than enough, and you still have time, and I know we we can get caught up in in wondering, you know well when and when and when. But it's, I think, grounding into who you're becoming on this journey, and that is more important than the how and the when, at least in my own experience.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Yeah, you're absolutely right. Cause I think you're ultimately. And I've had this in my journey where I've had

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Danielle Louise Watson: these huge milestones that I've hit within my business where I'm like. This is what I've manifested. This is what I really want, and I'll celebrate for a short while, and then afterwards I felt flat.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And I'm like, What is this like? Why, why is this celebration so so short-lived? And I think it was those times where I was so fixated on getting to the goal, no matter what the cost.

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Danielle Louise Watson: that it was almost this kind of like. Oh, my good! I've got here now. But

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Danielle Louise Watson: what next? And it was that almost dread of the what next? Whereas if you can get to success

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Danielle Louise Watson: and get to your milestones, maybe it is at a slow pace. But you absolutely love every step of the process. And that journey, you know you're here for the ride and the thrill of it. Not just to get to that goal, you'll get to the goal. And you'll be like, right? I'm ready for more.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So yeah, it's just again like allowing allowing that kind of space to kind of create in a way that feels really good.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Yes, I couldn't agree more. You shared a recent social media post that said that waiting the waiting game is not a burden.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: I.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: I love it like I it was so good when I read it. I was like, yes, that's for me. Can you unpack that a little like. Why do we feel discomfort in the waiting for the goal, the waiting for our dreams, the waiting for whatever desire, whatever success or whatever we're trying to bring forth in our daily reality.

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Danielle Louise Watson: I think the thing is like, it's human nature to want to progress. And I think when we're in this space of entrepreneurship, or having such a big goals for our life. It's like we get so fixated on that. But this whole idea of like the the waiting game, is actually there.

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Danielle Louise Watson: You know, it's happening for you. And it's really, actually this huge gift that we have. It's not just about like, I gotta push through this as as quickly as possible. For me, my biggest moments of growth have happened in the times when it felt like not a lot was happening at all and it's

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Danielle Louise Watson: for me

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Danielle Louise Watson: it's really being that ability to surrender and trust in a higher power, and trust that everything is going to happen at exactly the moment that it is meant to happen. I think the problem is that so many others are waiting for this elusive moment when we're saying, this will be when I'm happy, like when I've got the dream house when I have these conditions met. This is when I will be happy, and they don't realize that to get to that place you have to feel the happiness of what you want right now.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So I sometimes like I had a real

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Danielle Louise Watson: when I was speaking earlier about this kind of moment where I'd hit this huge financial goal, and I felt flat when I started to dig into this a little bit more. I was like, Okay, when have I felt my most happiest like? If I can think of like that? To the moment when I felt most excited, the most like in, you know, in alignment. And I actually kind of one of those moments was actually

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Danielle Louise Watson: right at the beginning of my journey where it almost felt like I had everything to play for. But at that moment, in time I really had nothing. You know, I was living in a flat with far too many people. I was, you know.

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Danielle Louise Watson: really, in quite a significant amount of debt. I was struggling quite badly with anxiety, and you know I didn't have a lot like my conditions were less than ideal, but I was very good at using my imagination to really think about the things that I want to the point where I was actually feeling as if I had those things within my possession, so I could get myself to this place of really high vibration of feeling, amazing feeling good without necessarily having the physical reality.

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Danielle Louise Watson: And I think this is a real skill. I think I was quite lucky, because I've always been super imaginative. As a child I have like imaginary friends, so I think I can become a product of my imagination very, very easily. But I think this is something. If you can learn to do this, you will learn to enjoy the waiting game a lot more cause you will realize there's so much available to you in this moment. Right now. It may not be physically within your space.

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Danielle Louise Watson: but you can take yourself there internally, and that can feel just as good, if not better, than the actual physical reality. In fact, some of the times when I've had the physical reality, I've almost been a bit disillusioned. Because I'm like, Huh, okay, well.

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know what? How I was playing this out in my mind was really exciting. And this is great. But so yeah, it's sometimes just almost assuming that the physical reality is always better. It can be great. But see that internal worlds that you have, you have access to it whenever you want

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Danielle Louise Watson: any moment.

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Danielle Louise Watson: you know. Take, for example, you're in the shower. Can you turn that into a really beautiful spiritual experience like you're connecting with that future vision where? Not from a place that I need to have, that I want to have that right now, but from a place of it already. Mind, stop reliving, or living rather your dream life internally, and see how that changes for you, and you will start to enjoy the way a little bit more.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Well, I think there's so much we don't see in the non physical that we, because we're such, we're human, right? So so our experience is very physically curated. But I I couldn't agree more like having some type of awareness that there's a there's a grand creator that is, that is there, guiding and supporting the journey, and and also just tapping into that emotional frequency and that vibrational frequency of it's already mine. It's already done kind of whatever affirmation that might look

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: like. I think, too, like happiness is

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: pursuing. Happiness is almost as fleeting as pursuing motivation like I'm I'm gonna feel happy when I'm gonna feel motivated when it's like that, it doesn't. It doesn't work like that. I think a better question is like, What are you optimizing for, like, why are you

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: doing this? In the 1st place? Because I think when you get grounded into your why, and you can actually have a compass as to where you're going on a spiritual, internal, purposefully driven life level. It becomes funner. But I know that we get stuck in the waiting like I I mean we're we're all guilty of it. I I will raise my hand and say, yes, I've done this a number of times.

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Danielle Louise Watson: We're always waiting for something. Right? We're always, you know, it's human nature to want to progress. So you hit one goal, and it's human nature for them to thinking, well, what is the next chapter? So there's always going to be an element of waiting. So it's being

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Danielle Louise Watson: knowing that it's like, well, how can I make this a fun experience? And I think this and you'll probably agree with this as well. It's like when you're doing what you'll love you love, and you're so consumed by it. You're not looking at the time and being like, Okay, well, why isn't my stuff shown up yet? You're too busy just enjoying your work, enjoying living your life. So I think this is where being in a feminine can really help

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Danielle Louise Watson: as more because we're here for the joy of the creation and the you know, the joy of the journey and the feeling good, and the you know all of that that comes with it. So we're not so. Oh, well, this is my goal that I'm trying to get towards. We're a little bit more detached from the goal. I think so that that makes it more enjoyable.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Yeah, I couldn't agree more. And I think with that feminine leadership you talked earlier in the episode about defining our relationship with success. And and how can we women, you know, tell us how we can meet that feminine leader within that feminine

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: persona that maybe we are have been conditioned more in the masculine, or maybe more, in self-doubt and self-sabotage like, how can we meet her? How can we define that relationship with success for ourselves? And how have you done it in your own life, Danny?

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Danielle Louise Watson: Yeah, good question. I think it's really playing around with finding your sweet spot. So for me when I 1st embarked on this journey, and I learned about

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Danielle Louise Watson: who the feminine leader was like the qualities that she possesses. I tried to sort of test around with being in my feminine fully, so I let go of all of my structure. I you know I'm a compulsive planner, and I like to have structure and routine, and that kind of went out the window, and I thought, I'm gonna go with the flow. I'm gonna trust my intuition a lot more and, you know, started to weave in more of these feminine qualities and

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Danielle Louise Watson: do less. And I really struggled with that. You know, I found that actually, I couldn't get to a place where that felt really really good for me. But I know women that need to be fully in their feminine for that to kind of feel like an enjoyable experience.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So the masculine is not necessarily a bad thing as long as we're approaching it in a really healthy way. So I may typically be more in my masculine than perhaps some other women. But it's knowing where that being in my masculine is slipping into toxic masculinity, where I'm pushing too hard and doing too much and putting too much pressure on myself. So I love taking action, and the way that I distinguish taking action. That's very much too much in my masculine versus a healthy balance, is

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Danielle Louise Watson: asking myself like checking in like, how do I feel before I take any action? Like making sure I'm not operating from a place of fear or stress. Or I'm you know, I've got to hit my productivity quota. It's coming from a place of like I really really want to be able to do this and I'm gonna find joy in doing this. So just being really intentional behind the action that I'm taking

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Danielle Louise Watson: but for me it's yeah. It's it's this unique, sweet spot. So something that I found that's really helped me is, let's say, within my weekly routine. You know, I like to have that structure and routine in place, but then I will create space within my week, which is for

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Danielle Louise Watson: just let's just see what happens. Let's just see in this moment what I'm feeling called to do. So, you know, trusting myself in that moment to just come up with the right idea, you know, just being playful with it. So it's making sure I'm finding that balance in my structure and also actually scheduling in time to just be rather than having a really full week where it's just constantly, you know, meetings or

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Danielle Louise Watson: things that I need to be doing it. Actually, okay, I am recognizing that I'm a human being, and that takes priority above all else. So I try to. When I'm planning out my week, make sure that that is the main focus, like who I'm being. Am I making sure that I'm prioritizing that first, st before you know all of the the doing step.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Yeah, I love that so much. I think it's like full stop, full permission for women to actually schedule time for themselves in the ways that they know are going to nourish their soul and their spirit and their health and their wellness. Because, I mean, let's be honest. If if you have kids. If you have a business stuff's gonna schedule, and if you're not prioritizing yourself inside of the life you are building, it's a quick and fast way to burn out. And it's also a quick way to feel that overwhelming the resentment. That we had chatted about earlier. So I love all of that

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: if someone is, you know, just salivating over this conversation. Danny, how do they work with you? How can they get connected with you in your world?

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Danielle Louise Watson: Yes. Well, in terms of connecting with me. You can find me on Instagram. Danny underscore Watson underscore coaching at the link in my bio, you can find all of the different ways to work with me. So the main way. So we have a coach training program which is for new coaches, the Click Academy. That's really where we're taking somebody who is relatively new to the coaching space. Or maybe they've done some coaching before and have never gone

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Danielle Louise Watson: any formal qualifications. They get qualified as a coach through our Icf accredited coach training. They also, you learn other techniques such as neurolinguistic programming. We cover things like

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Danielle Louise Watson: eft, emotional freedom, technique, energy work. So it's really this core foundations of coaching

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Danielle Louise Watson: combined with all of these amazing coaching tools and healing modalities that can really help you transform your client at the highest level. I also run a feminine leadership program. She leads. So this is either for the woman that is looking for feminine leadership, coaching for herself to be taken on that journey to. You know, really redefining how she succeeds, how she leads.

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Danielle Louise Watson: how she makes her money. So maybe that's for an entrepreneur or a career woman that's kind of looking to experience that for themselves. Or we also have the she leads certification. So this is for women who really want to coach within the feminine leadership space.

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Danielle Louise Watson: So they are. We've got sort of a load of smaller programs as well. But at the moment they're kind of the the cool ways in which you can work with me. And again. They can all be found at the link in my bio, Danny underscore Watson, and to score coaching.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: I love it, and we will leave all of her information and the ways in which you can connect with Danny in the show notes. I've absolutely loved and appreciated this conversation. I think it's just like coming at a time in my life where it's a really good reminder and a message that.

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Danielle Louise Watson: You just kind of.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: To hear, and I know that for many people listening, it will feel that way for them, too.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: So thank you so much, Danny. Is there any other last words of feminine leadership, wisdom that you want to leave with our audience today?

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Danielle Louise Watson: Oh, my goodness, great question! I think. Just that reminder of what makes you in that neatly worthy like bringing it back to like what are the things that you possess, the magic within you? That is it within you, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you are, no matter how productive you are, you could have a really lazy day. I hate the word lazy, but you know an easy fun day where you're really doing nothing.

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Danielle Louise Watson: It's recognizing that you could do nothing, and all of those qualities are still within you. What makes you worthy is within you, regardless of what you are doing. So. Yeah, I think just leaving on that message.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: I think it's the perfect message to leave on. And it's just it's so true, and I love it so thank you so much for being on the show today and getting to connect with you. I'm so so grateful.

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Danielle Louise Watson: Thank you so much for having me. It's been so amazing to chat with you and connect. And yeah, I'm just so honored that you invited me here.

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: Absolutely

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Dr. Kayla Lucas: okay, Danny. I'm gonna hit stop if I gotta find it here.