What We Learned About Communication After a Long Year | Ep. 85

We share our lessons from 2024, from challenges like navigating Sunny's health and personal loss to celebrating career milestones and family joy. We also talk goals and dreams for 2025, offering insights into how they stay connected, resilient, and hopeful. Don’t miss some authentic reflections and tips for making 2025 your best year yet!

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You are officially listening to the Talk to People Podcast.

All episodes recorded are quality assured and monitored for quality assurance and quality.

Hosted by none other than Chris Miller.

Hey, you all, it's Chris Miller, and welcome to the Talk to People Podcast.

Whether this is your first time listening or you're a hundred time listening, I'm so grateful you're here.

The whole purpose of this podcast is to help you connect with those around you.

We believe that life is better when you talk to people.

So each episode may be a conversation or a solo informative session where we look at how can we get better at valuing our social connection and prioritizing our relationships.

This episode is a bit different because I have an empty chair right here.

If you're watching on Spotify, you can watch on Spotify, let me say that, or you can listen on Apple Podcasts or any other podcast platform.

But if you're watching on Spotify, you'll see an empty chair next to me, and this chair is about to be filled by none other than the tiny and mighty and fine Annie Miller, a repeat podcast guest, and some people say host.

Welcome to the show.

Thanks for having me.

I've been wearing you down about getting back on the pod.

And you're here, you made it.

I made it.

Perseverance.

It's been successful.

And today we are going to talk about how to be big and bold in the workplace.

Whoa, that wasn't the topic I prepared for.

Trick.

We didn't blame that.

I set that up.

Sunny, he tricked us.

Got him.

So this episode is going to be a bit different because I haven't been on in a little bit.

I have been adjusting to a few different things, which we'll talk about.

But this episode, we are going to reflect on 2024, and we are going to look forward to 2025.

This is something that Annie and I set down together as a couple and thought through some of these things.

And I figured it would be fun to do it on the podcast as well.

So I've missed you.

I've missed you a ton.

Oh, you're handing it over to me?

Do you want me to say the first question?

If you want to do first question.

Sure.

Okay, Chris, we got to make sure we're keeping pace with these.

Sometimes I have a tendency to go on and on.

Okay, biggest lessons from 2024.

What did you learn?

What's something that you learned as an individual?

And then we'll talk about something we learned as a couple.

One of the things I learned yesterday is that when I'm recording a podcast, I need to make sure that I formatted my SD card because we recorded this whole thing and I wasn't able to use any of it or keep any of it because none of it's saved.

So I learned that last night and today I formatted my SD card.

I did a test recording before we went live.

That's a lesson learned in the past 24 hours.

What about you?

That's really fresh in your mind.

I do want to answer the question, but I actually think you should show off the mug.

Okay.

Do you want to talk about it?

We're putting it up into the camera here.

If you aren't watching video, it is a custom-made mug that says Talk to People with Chris Miller, made by our little bro, Jimmy, Jimmy James, Mr.

S.

He just got a brand new job in 2024.

As we reflect on 2024, that is one of the best moments of the year, and we're very excited for him.

Yeah.

And also one of Sunny's favorite people.

He just perked up.

Something that I learned, going back to a lesson learned from 2024, is that I have a tendency to look sometimes too far ahead, and I miss what's right in front of me.

And I came to that conclusion, or that lesson came to me when I was going for a run.

I love to run outside, and over here where we live, we live by these wooded areas, and we're known to have some critters out here.

I have seen a coyote on my run.

And I know they say that they're more scared of you than you are of them.

I don't know if I buy it.

I don't know if I co-sign to that.

But when I was running, I do this a lot.

I go buy this one piece of land that's so wooded.

And I'm like, there's probably tons of animals just in there, which they should be.

That's their home.

But I always get a little bit fearful that I'm going to like miss something because I have my headphones in, and I'm going to be listening to my podcast, and then a coyote is going to come out.

And it's a little irrational, but also a little rational, kind of walking that line a little.

And so one day I was on high alert, and I was like, oh, Annie, if you are so high alert to things that are not even right in front of you, almost not even real, you're going to miss something.

Like I could have missed a crack in the sidewalk and fallen on my face and broken some bones.

So something I learned is to be present, not miss what's right in front of me, and yeah, take it all in.

And your content with running, your running content, can we talk a little bit about that?

Because that's something I've wanted the world to see, and we've gone back and forth on this.

I'd love for you to share that way.

Other people could hear about it.

Here's the thing.

I do have a few recordings that I've taken while I'm running, only when I'm running outside, not when I'm on the tread.

It hits different outside that are private.

You and me only.

That makes it sound inappropriate.

But what I mean is that I haven't shared them.

Could you cut that?

It sounds inappropriate.

But there are these lessons that come to me when I'm running.

And here's the fear is that, not even the fear.

I actually think this is highly possible just with the nature of sharing things.

I don't think people would be, I think people would be laughing at me and not with me.

That feels vulnerable.

I think I'll just keep them to myself.

But if you're laughing, then they're laughing with you.

I don't know.

I feel like it's a little dicey.

It's hard whenever you make stuff.

Even whenever I record podcasts, I'll be thinking, who would want to hear this?

And I just keep going and publish it.

Maybe someone will.

But I would love for your content to be out there.

The thing about you is that you have such an incredible personality, and it's almost refreshing.

I hesitate to say this, but it's almost refreshing how you don't post content and share it with the world.

You don't have that pressure.

You don't feel like you need to put everything up.

The reason why I hesitate to say that is because I would love to...

I was thinking about it as I'm looking at this game and it's just the both of us sitting down.

I think it'd be fun to record some stuff with you, and we could create our own little YouTube channel or something.

I'm in.

Sold.

Say less.

Right.

So it's funny because you don't want to share the Instagram content of you running, but you're up for that idea.

You know, I am up for the idea, I think because when we do it together, it feels less scary.

And you are very, I think we could talk about real things.

And I mean, some stuff could be heavier topics, some could be more lighthearted.

So I think it'd be a very meaningful pursuit.

Not to say that my little videos that I take of myself running, because I'm like bouncing up and down, I got my running sunglasses on.

I mean, those are fun and meaningful in a different way.

Maybe I'll create a Finsta.

Which is?

I don't know if I do the best.

It's like an account, a separate account for content, right?

It's a private Instagram, right?

I think so, I don't know.

But you're technically private on Instagram already.

True, but I kind of want to create a separate, if I'm going to do this, I want to create a separate account for my running content.

And what would you call it?

I'd have to put that on Simmer.

What would we call our shared YouTube channel?

I think we need to workshop that, because we could use our names, but as the first time that we recorded this yesterday, we looked up some YouTube channels, and there are existing channels that use our names, which makes sense, Annie and Chris are common names.

So we'd have to brainstorm.

And now Chris is typing it into ChatGPT.

Let's see.

Oh.

Okay.

Oh, the Miller perspective.

Dang, ChatGPT is good.

The Miller's unplugged.

I'm gonna go on a sidebar and say, I was very skeptical of this, and I kind of felt like I was working against it, like I didn't want to use ChatGPT.

It's pretty dang good.

I can't deny it.

Annie and Chris living socially.

I wonder if we could do Annie, Ampersund, Chris, or should it be Chris, Ampersund, Annie?

This says talk live with Chris and Annie.

For those listening, do you think Chris and Annie or Annie and Chris sounds better as a YouTube channel?

Two hearts, one channel, number nine.

Which of these is your favorite?

Let's see.

I like the Miller perspective.

I like the Miller table.

I like the Miller table.

And maybe just conversations with Chris and Annie.

I like those.

Those are my top three.

What about you?

I like the Miller's unplugged.

Any others?

Okay, I typed in our favorites are three, 12, 10, and one.

And it's gonna give us a few more suggestions, but it would be fun for us to be able to be on the camera.

It would, I think that something I'm wanting to do in 2025, I'll skip ahead a little bit, but is to find some things that are exciting for me.

And I think a reason why I haven't published a podcast episode in about seven weeks, seven weeks, I think, maybe even eight weeks, is that I started a new job.

That's a big update.

I have a job now.

Okay.

November 16th.

So yeah, less than probably about six to seven weeks.

Yeah.

My 2024 election thumbnail, Annie's laughing at, but I got this new job and it takes a while to learn a new job, especially this one, because I'm helping business owners grow their business.

And for those of you who are entrepreneurs, who own a business or you know, a business owner, there's so much work when you grow a business.

Every single day, there's a new question you could answer.

All different questions.

So as someone who's advising business owners, I need to, I don't have to know answers to every question, but I at least need to help people get closer to an answer with whatever questions they're asking.

That's been taking a lot of effort and energy, and I'm loving it.

I love talking to the people.

It's been super socially fulfilling.

As someone who has a podcast about social connection, I was not feeling the most socially fulfilled.

So being able to get a job and be around people has been very good for me.

That being said, it's been, I'd say, it's taxing, energy expenditure, having to learn all this stuff.

So I'd come home and I'd play video games, or I'd hang out with you and the dog, or I wasn't creating much, or I'd edit other people's stuff.

And now I'm thinking, okay, I definitely want to keep creating.

I'm definitely going to keep, like the Talk to People Podcast, this is the first episode of 2025, and we're going to have many more.

But I'm also thinking, like, what else could I do that's exciting to me?

For instance, with soccer, I really love soccer.

It's been such a blessing, this community that's surfaced out of soccer.

I'm really excited to keep investing in that.

But I'm also thinking, huh, it'd be really cool to go to a chess club, or like go to develop another social anchor, something that can manifest new relationships or just new opportunity.

Yeah, a few things.

One, starting a new job is always very, it can be very taxing.

And it feels, it can feel like you're an intern for a while because you're just learning all the things.

And then before you know it, you know how to answer questions and you feel like you've always been there.

And it takes a while.

And then also something that I think people can relate to is when you first started, like even, I guess, a couple of weeks ago you said like, oh, it's six o'clock, we've got to go to bed soon and then I have to get up already.

And the time after work is so short.

Whereas I have been at my current job for three and a half years and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I have all this time after work.

And I feel like I can.

So I feel like that changes, too.

And I think that's going to help you dive back into this because this is important.

It's you have a lot of value to add and you're really good at it.

So I don't want you to give it up.

Oh, I had one other thing.

I also want to find some hobbies in a place to be, especially during wintertime.

Winter is hard.

So when you were talking about a chess club or something, not going to a chess club, no offense.

Chess is just not for my brain, but who knows?

And chess club is so much different than what I've been around, which is exciting to me.

I went to this event a few weeks ago.

It was for tech people, the Lawrence Tech Guild.

Super fun.

One of the things I loved about it was I was the only one at this networking event who was wearing a name tag.

That was so refreshing to me because I've been to so many networking events where everybody's got their name tags on, and they're dishing out all of their cards, and you can tell on the surface level that people are there to network.

At this event, it did not feel that way.

Partially because it's Lawrence Tech Guild, so you have a whole bunch of software developers and programmers, and people who don't have front-facing roles, they're not talking to people all the time.

They may not even be good at talking to people.

The people I talked to were good at talking to people, but I did see some people who were not the most socially confident.

But that's beautiful, and they should be at those events.

And I loved those events because I didn't feel...

It felt so different.

I think the Chess Club would be similar.

It wouldn't be people who are trying to social climb.

It'd be people who are there literally to share something with someone else, to connect over something they love doing.

And more than likely, they're gonna have an easier time building a friendship because they're not so focused on networking.

Yeah, I like that.

I co-signed to that.

Should we move on to question two?

Another thing I was thinking about is, you said the podcast, this is good, we have a lot of value to add.

I do sometimes wonder, I just joined this thing called Spotter Studio, and it gives me ideas for the YouTube channel.

But I do sometimes wonder, what are other things I could be creating on?

I know I haven't touched everything that's not possible for me to do, especially as a team of one.

But I do wonder, what could I cover in 2025 on the Talk to People Podcast?

More guest conversations, more solo stuff, more educational, more story-based.

I'm not sure, but I-

Do you have an example of something that you have thought of?

Say that again.

Do you have an example of one of those things dreaming bigger for 2025 for the podcast?

Do you have any example that you can think of?

One thing that I want to do is to cut a lot less.

Cut a lot less editing.

I like that.

I want to get to a point to where I feel like the content I put out there is me.

And that's also way more sustainable.

Me recording something and putting it into the computer, and I can make it fancy by putting it into our outdoor music, other stuff, but not actually cutting it.

That's my goal.

The people who do conversations for a living.

I know Joe Rogan will cut some stuff.

For example, whenever someone goes pee or something like that.

But one thing I like about it is he doesn't cut that much.

And I think my goal is that the things I create are no different than what I'd be like if you caught me in the subway.

It's kind of like, I mean, Armchair Expert is my favorite podcast.

And they definitely edit.

But when somebody has to go to the bathroom, they leave the banter that happens in between in, to your point, because it does feel like you're there and it feels more authentic than something that's so polished and tailored.

So I like that.

I'm probably going to ask you to cut something in here.

I already did.

And I won't.

Not to, not honor you, but simply because I know that it doesn't need to be cut.

Hey, ABR, always be recording.

That's what DAC says.

And I don't want to be one of those people that's like, oh, it's like reality TV.

We need to film everything, get everything on camera.

But whenever we're recording the pod, what's so great about you is you can get a microphone and be in front of a camera.

And light the whole entire room up.

So many people have told me, wow, she would have such an incredible podcast.

I know she would, which is why I married her, right?

She's like a podcaster even when she's not on the micro camera.

See, I'm grasping for the mic because that's so kind and so sweet.

Thank you, Chris.

But that's kind of bad when people tell me that because then I want it more.

Then I get these big ideas.

Who knows?

That's very sweet.

Thank you.

I feel the same way about you.

Many people know because I've said this on the podcast before, but Annie was podcasting before me.

I have Talk to People Podcast, hosted by Chris Miller.

Annie, years before I created the Talk to People Podcast, had been on her own podcast.

Four years before, a whole presidential cycle had been on her own podcast.

Yes, I did.

It was short-lived.

I was an intern helping get a podcast started.

That was a lot of fun, and it was a great internship.

Could you do an impression of your voice on that podcast?

I mean, it definitely doesn't sound like it does now.

It was like a storytelling voice, because it was a storytelling podcast episode.

I mean, I'd have to get like a little script or something.

I can't just...

You know what's so funny?

I'm in a sidebar, is that we all hate the sound of our own voices, but did you know?

I think I've talked about this on the pod, that if we were to be given different sound samples, the sound bites, and we'd have to rank which voice we find more appealing to the ear.

And they're similar voices.

We, more times than not, we'd pick our own voice.

You don't hate the sound of your voice, though?

I think we all do, don't we, when we hear it?

You don't hate the sound of your voice?

Yeah, I think we all do.

Like, it feels, I don't hate it.

I shouldn't say I don't hate it.

And not like I love to hear myself talk, but we kind of do get, don't you get slightly cringy when you hear your own voice?

I listen to my podcasts that are hours long, and I like my voice.

No, you should like your voice.

What I'm saying is I feel like it's a universal, you have a great voice.

It's a universal, it feels like experience to not necessarily love to hear your voice.

And I know everybody listening is like, yes, I'm right there with you.

I was just saying, I agree, for sure.

99% of people don't like the sound of their voice.

I was recording a voicemail from my job on the phone, and I listened back to it, and the phone was not a nice dynamic microphone.

And I was like, oh, I don't know if I like that.

So definitely feel that way.

But I don't think you dislike the sound of your voice.

I feel the same thing.

I don't want to say I don't like my voice.

My voice is fine.

But when I have to hear it back, it's so weird how different it sounds.

But your storytelling voice was very polished.

Yes.

What?

It was impressive.

I remember listening to it the first time being like, whoa, who is this?

Because it's the NPR.

I'm gonna tell you the story.

It was very smooth.

You could do the audible.

Oh, my goodness.

That's so nice.

Well, okay.

Well, if you write a book, how about you just write a book and I can help with the voiceover?

What was one of the things that helped me fall for you?

What did you tell me?

That you were funny?

That I should write a book.

You should write a book.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I still believe it.

I believed it then.

I believe in it and believe it now.

Yeah, I should write a book.

But I fear we're losing people.

Okay, so looking at 2024, we learned a ton as a couple individually.

Job, business, family, podcast, dog, health.

We went through the hoops, the ringer, but we also celebrated some major wins.

Would you like to share any of the ups and downs?

I, ChatGBC gave us some great questions, and the one that you're asking about are some highlights, challenges, some highlights.

We got to see so many exciting things happen for people around us, from friends to family.

I got to watch both of my parents receive awards this year that are really big in the community, the Italian American community and the Irish American community.

So I'm super happy for them.

That was such a joy.

They are two incredible people, and they probably, I think they'll listen.

They always like to listen to our episodes.

But as I'm talking about it, they'll probably kind of chuckle because they're both so humble.

So I got to watch that.

Shout out to both of them.

Shout out.

We love them.

We do love them.

Got to see my sister get engaged, which was such a joy.

I'm so excited for her, and got to see my brother go through his student teaching, and really feel so passionate to see the fire that he has for teaching is so cool.

And he got a job before his second semester of senior year even started, which is huge.

So a lot of great milestones for family.

We went to North Carolina this year, which is where we met.

So that was so much fun to go back there.

Did a lot of Oklahoma trips, a couple of Wisconsin trips.

Where else did we go?

Anywhere else?

Vegas wasn't this year.

No, that was fun.

That was 2023.

Not many trips.

Which I'm okay with.

Did you go to Ireland?

That was last, that was 2023.

2023 was a lot of trips.

You had some major wins.

Similarly, my parents, both of them had a bout with cancer this year, and thankfully, we're in a spot to where my parents are doing a lot better, and kind of kicked that in the face, which, very grateful, very proud of both of them, because that's so hard to do.

My business, the podcast production business, I started 2024 pretty bullish on the business, I think.

I can't really recall, but I don't know if I was job searching then.

I think if you would have told 2024 Chris, that 2025 Chris would be employed, but also be working on the business simultaneously, he'd be surprised.

But the business had a decent year.

I had the biggest contracts I've ever had.

I was really excited about those things.

But I also had a really hard time working on my own.

And I was exposed to hurdles that I didn't know how to surpass by myself.

And I'm learning now working with other business owners, which is great.

I got a personal trainer.

Shout out to Jake, who's taking care of me and helping me get more fit.

I found a dentist who is working on my teeth.

I found a primary care physician, a doctor.

He's getting me right.

I have my own barber now.

And-

This is Chris calls this the year of the haircuts, which I think you should talk about, but also very important to find providers that you like and you have rapport with.

And all of these people are-

Listen, we have to rely on a lot of people in our life.

We have to rely on a doctor.

We have to rely on a dentist.

We are going to have to get aircuts.

I was going to supercuts, and I kept coming home and telling Annie, I'm not going back to supercuts, but I didn't plan, and I'd leave and I'd go back to supercuts.

But we're always going to be relying on other people.

So we may as well find people that we're friends with and that we get along with.

So thankfully, all of those people that I mentioned, we got a really cool pest control guy now.

Yeah, we do.

Right?

And he and I connect over podcasting, and we have-

Shout out to Ed.

Shout out to Ed Braxton.

They've been putting in the time at this house.

Unfortunately, we had bats in the house, and then we-

No, okay, we need to clarify that.

They weren't in our living space.

We heard a noise in our attic.

It was very distressing.

A year ago, I was very stressed about it, but they're gone.

They're gone.

Now we have mice.

In the wall.

We have not seen them in the living space, and we've since taken control of the issue.

We think that they're being dealt with.

We did hear them.

We have bait stations outside, and we're learning where they're getting in.

But now I know the pest control guy, and we just got a cool handyman.

And there's all these different occupational blessings that have befallen us this year, which I'm grateful for.

Another thing is...

Can I say one thing on that?

I also do.

I found a nurse practitioner who I love.

I've been going to her for a couple of years now.

And I feel like, when you're able to establish that relationship with, like, particularly a doctor, a dentist...

Yeah, I would say the same for the dentist.

You walk in, and sometimes you're there just for routine things.

Sometimes you're there when you're not feeling well, or when you're not feeling your best.

And to see people that you are familiar is so nice.

Like, when I go to the NP's office, I feel like I'm like, oh, hey, hey, girl.

I love them.

I'm gonna go hang out there.

And they love you.

And she's very sweet with you.

I imagine as a doctor, you think about your patients a lot, and she's grateful that she's got some good ones, including you.

Speaking of patient and being a medical patient, one unexpected thing this year was our dog was a medical patient.

He's over there.

He's laying over there so peacefully.

I forget how much I've talked about this, but Annie and I got married on the 4th of July of 2021.

So we're celebrating our three-year anniversary on the 4th of July, 2024.

And we were noticing some things about Sunny prior to this.

We kept saying allergies, so we were saying, oh, he doesn't feel well because of something he ate, or maybe he's got a bug.

It was respiratory, he'd breathe loud, he was lethargic, there was things happening.

We switched his food, we did all this different stuff.

But the day after our anniversary, he was just looking rough.

So we took him into the vet, and the vet did a radiograph of his chest.

And they said...

They said, we cannot see his lungs because there's so much fluid around the lungs, you need to take him to the ER in Kansas City.

And it could be caused by a number of things.

It could be caused by an infection, it could be caused by a tumor or a mass.

It could be...

They were like, we don't know, and we don't have the equipment to help him right now because he seems like he's in respiratory distress.

So we drove out to KC, that turned into an overnight there.

Then we got a diagnosis of a chylothorax, which is a very rare condition.

Then we got to pick him up, and we thought a few days later, they said, come back and we'll do a surgery consultation.

That turned into taking him back to the KCER the following day because he was so sick, which turned into them saying, you need to go to a research hospital.

You need to go to either K-State or Mizzou.

So we went to K-State, and he stayed there for eight nights.

Is that right?

Eight nights, had thoracic surgery.

That was a bit of a doozy.

That was really scary because he is like, we are kind of those people where our dog is, I mean, we got a dog for a reason because we love him, and he's just the best boy in the whole wide world.

So it was a very, very hard thing to go through, but he's doing great now.

We're happy to report he's laying right here, and K-State was awesome.

We love our dog.

For those people who aren't dog people, it may be difficult to understand.

If you are a dog person, you understand.

Dogs, for us, are such a big source of joy, and to be able to come home and see the dog, it's like, dang, that's worth a million bucks.

The smile that they put on your face and how excited they are to see you, and whenever they snuggle you or they want to play with you, or one of my favorite things about Sunny is he gets this really mischievous look in his eye when he wants to play.

And my favorite is whenever he gives me the side eye, and he's like, are you coming or what?

Like, come on.

We love playing together.

So whenever all this is happening, there's a ton of stress.

It was hard.

I felt a lot of guilt because I didn't do anything sooner.

I'm typically a bit more financially, but stressed and I will feel more financially like strapped.

So whenever I think of the vet, I just think of a bill.

And due to that, sometimes I'll be less likely to take a animal to the vet.

Now, I felt a little guilt, like I could have taken them sooner, but that's the hardest part about animals is they can't tell you what's going on and you don't know what's happening.

And I was doing my best, we were both doing our best.

So whenever we took them to Manhattan, at K-State, you know, we're KU people, University of Kansas, but K-State was really incredible to him.

There was one time where he had a scheduled surgery or scan, I forget which one.

And they said, oh, we didn't get to him because a tiger came in.

We were like, a tiger?

They're like, yeah, a tiger, because there's a little Manhattan Zoo over there.

So they are the wildcats.

So it makes sense that a wildcat came in.

But boy, was that a doozy.

And family stepped up, friends stepped up.

They helped us.

They were around a huge, I mean, it's such a big financial burden.

And, you know, people stepped up.

So I'm so grateful for that.

Me too.

More grateful than they will ever, ever know.

Yep.

What else?

About the dog or about?

In general.

In general?

Well, I'm laughing.

It's not funny.

I'm just nervous.

But a month after we picked Sunny up, I had a miscarriage, which I wasn't sure that I was going to share that.

But I've learned through this experience that it is so much.

It's so much more common than we think.

It's just not talked about for absolutely valid reasons.

It feels very private and personal.

And I also think that there can be some stigma around it.

I think sometimes there can be guilt and shame around it, or a lot of things.

But that happened a month after we picked Sunny up, after his surgery.

So the end of the summer was, kind of felt like the Millers were getting beat down for a while.

But we lived to tell the story, right?

And we were beat down and broke down.

And that rolled the coaster of emotions.

With Sunny, there was so much stress, there was guilt there, a lot of helplessness.

We get him home and we're very excited.

We're uncertain, we don't know if his surgery worked.

He has this crazy shave job.

And as a golden retriever, it's like, you don't do that.

He's got this crazy shave job, half his fur was gone.

And we had to take him back a few different times, and he got more shaved jobs.

He's finally at a point now to where he's kind of grown his hair back.

And then we get a positive pregnancy test.

You get a positive pregnancy test and super exciting.

So excited.

I remember when we were first looking and we saw the, it pop up.

It was like, oh my gosh.

I felt like a teen mom.

But I'm not.

But still, whoa, super surprising, unprepared, but at the same time grateful.

And then spending that time, what, like a week or, you know, 10 days, like it wasn't that long, but still the roller coaster of emotion and us talking, like, how are we going to tell our families?

And like, what are we going to do?

And we even planned stuff out and we bought supplies.

We had a whole entire itinerary set up of how we were going to announce to different people.

And then getting the news that, oh, this isn't going the way it's supposed to be going.

And then experiencing that.

And one day I think it'd be really helpful for us just to dedicate an episode to communicating about it and how to communicate about miscarriage.

We're not experts, but how we do it and what we think about it.

Because the more people we talk to about it, the more we understand how common it is, and the more we understand how powerful it is to communicate or to share, to wrap words around it.

We felt terrible, right?

And it's terrible on, it can be terrible on the relationship because we each experience something different, right?

Like you have to carry everything, right?

And pass everything.

And then as like me not getting pregnant, right?

Like I have to be able to emotionally understand that and there's still so many hormones.

And like, it's just really hard with communication, but it's really important to communicate about.

Well, and I think that we did a really dango job of communicating amidst a hard thing, in my opinion.

I think that, yes, there were tough moments, but whenever I talk to close friends about this and share the experience, share about the experience, I always say that I'm so grateful that I married who I married to because it made, navigating with you made a hard thing just a little bit easier.

And I think obviously that is attributed to who you are as a person, but also the way that we were able to talk about it.

So for anybody that's experienced it or going through it, hang in there.

Keep on keeping on.

And here's Sunny.

Okay, Sunny just hopped in the frame.

What's wild is we were recording this podcast yesterday.

And whenever we started talking about this same exact thing, he hopped in the frame.

I'm the type of guy to be like, dogs understand emotions.

They know when they need to pop in.

Well, this is backing up that case.

But I'm glad that we can talk about it on the podcast.

It is very hard to talk about.

And a lot of people choose not to talk about it.

But we chosen to share it simply because we think there's a lot of power there.

And one of my fears, like talking about miscarriage, is that other people will hesitate celebrating, or other people will...

Just like, how do you deal with it, right?

Like, whenever you're somebody else, like how do you comfort people who are going through that?

I don't know.

We're learning, right?

And we will continue to learn.

But I do think pain...

I've talked about this on the podcast a little bit.

Pain is one of the best sources of social glue.

There's that phrase, misery loves company.

And sometimes I hear that, and I think people like to tear other people down to where they are.

But I also think there's a reason why there's such great communities and sobriety and the recovery community.

Or there's this thing I read all about the sad dads, and it's men who have lost kids.

Like, their kids passed away, and they all get together and they talk about their kid, and the memories there, and they bring things.

And it's bonding, because with pain, pain inherently is like vulnerability, it's sensitivity, it hurts, and we hate pain.

We don't want to get hurt.

So connecting over something so sensitive like that, is, I don't know, there's something there.

So, I do think that's pretty fascinating.

I tried to wrap that thought up.

No, it's good.

I think you wrapped it up very well.

And I think sometimes men have a more difficult time talking about vulnerable things.

Not you, I think you're, you are so relational and such a talker in a good way, that you feel more comfortable talking about things.

But I think it's good for men to feel like they can talk about that kind of stuff too.

What are you laughing at?

I was thinking about earlier today, I was meeting with someone who was in the social work industry, and they were telling me how men don't get therapy.

And I was thinking to myself, well, I've talked to a few therapists.

And I...

So I think on average, men don't get therapy, but it is interesting, that same thing about expressing vulnerability and articulating that is a really great skill to have.

I think so too.

Should we move on to 2025?

Can I say that in 2025, something that's been a surprise to me, but I've enjoyed it lately, it's not surprising that I've enjoyed it, it's just surprising to me because I wasn't expecting that I'd be involved is Toastmasters.

And for those who know me, they'd be like, well, that makes perfect sense.

You have a podcast about social connection and communication.

Of course, you're in Toastmasters.

Well, I wasn't expecting to be involved.

And today, I gave my very first speech.

Yeah, I gave my first speech.

It was six minutes long and it was all about me.

If you listen to the podcast, you would have known every single thing I shared, except that I got my first pair of Air Jordans.

Do you have mine?

I don't, they're in the closet.

Would you like to grab them?

Do you want me to?

We can show them off.

Okay.

No, it's okay.

I feel like this is tight, tight corner.

No, you can do it.

It's up close.

Boom.

Thank you for grabbing them.

It's like we got to show them to the camera, right?

I got my first pair of Air Jordans as a Christmas gift, and I wore them today in my Toastmasters speech, and I talked about Air Jordans.

And did you know 24% of sneaker owners own at least one pair of Air Jordans, or Jordans?

Jordans brand shoes, own at least one pair of Jordans brand shoes.

So if you do, you're a part of the 24%.

Go ahead and come in the frame.

Keep coming, keep coming, keep coming.

I just want the shoes.

Boom.

Look at that.

There's the jumping in, jumping in, jumping in.

Air Jordan logo.

But yeah, 2025 has been good for the Toastmasters.

I now want to join Toastmasters because, well, I have developed a fear of public speaking, which is unfortunate because I used to love it and-

Fake news.

No, it's not fake news.

People say that, but I really, I get a real fear.

I had to give like a three-minute, you okay there, partner?

I had to give like a three-minute talk at work a couple of months ago.

And I was shaking so bad and my fingers got tingly.

It was not good.

That's fair.

Whenever you feel that, that can feel very powerless.

Yeah, you feel like you're gonna pass out and you feel like you black out.

Now I didn't, I made it through, but I didn't feel good doing it.

So, oh, there's Sunny.

I said pass out and he came.

He's like one of those trained dogs, but really he just shows up at coincidentally good moments.

You're a really good public speaker, and I have seen you in action and boy is it a sight to see.

Awesome sauce.

Skillful whenever it comes to the quill and the mic.

Thanks, Chris.

That means a lot coming from you because you're such a great public speaker, but I think it'll build my confidence.

Dare we say the best?

You're the best I know.

No way.

I'm not the best.

The best that I know.

Nope, not the best you know.

We both know some good public speakers.

We could name drop them if you want.

True.

I think you're still the best that I know.

But for us being-

Take the compliment.

For us being the best that we know, that'd be like saying like, oh, you're the best basketball player whenever we know Darius Garland, and whenever we know Jared McCain.

It's very precise speech.

That's true.

Always be precise.

Always tell the truth or at least don't lie.

Stand with your back straight.

Be like a lobster.

My back is straight.

Posture should be a goal for 2025.

But actually, so moving on to 2025, one of my goals is to improve my public speaking skills.

But also I have punctuality.

I want to be more on time because being rushed never feels good.

And may I ask, when you look at the camera, do you look at the screen or the lens?

Oh no, I'm looking at the screen.

Oh no, is it gonna look funky now?

It doesn't look funky, but looking at the lens is the goal.

It's hard though, because we're on the screen.

Right, it's like when you're on a Zoom call, everybody knows that you're probably looking at yourself most of the time, right?

I've thought about how I've hidden myself on Zoom calls just so I can try and lock in.

But it is so crazy how we look at ourselves most of the time.

Yeah, I should hide myself.

I should probably do that, because it's...

I don't know what it is.

It's something the way that we're wired.

Sunny's so snuggly.

Punctuality, what?

And you want to clean your car, and you want to whiten your teeth.

Well, that was more of your goal.

No.

Punctuality, keep my car clean.

Oh, my gosh.

This is a bad sign.

I'm going to my shared note.

Better sleep.

Better sleep.

I'm a bad sleeper last night.

Horrible sleep.

And then movement every day.

I'm pretty good about working out, but there...

Like, there's no reason.

I'm not doing such strenuous...

Even if I run a lot, I'm not doing something so strenuous that I can't go for a walk on my off day, on my off day.

So those are some of mine.

I'm excited.

Sometimes it's...

I get intimidated by the New Year because everybody's hot on resolutions, and it's like, you know, that can be intimidating and feels worn out.

So sometimes I think about it like, what's something I already want to do that now is just an excuse to start?

What about my goal?

Self-presentation.

You want to talk about it?

Tell people what I mean by that.

I think you should tell people what you mean by that.

Give them a taste.

Chris Miller wants to, well, I kind of Easter, this is an Easter egg from earlier, but he wants to keep a good, his hair nice, wants to whiten his teeth.

We've been whitening our teeth.

You want to be, I'm looking at our shared note right now to quote, you want to be a good face for things.

You want to polish your style, love it.

That smells like a shopping trip for Anne and Chris.

And then continue to work on your physical shape.

I think those are really good things.

How has the physical shape been lately?

Well, you're working really hard.

I think you're getting stronger.

I haven't worked out in two weeks, and this is why I'm anxious.

That's whenever you're like, oh my gosh, you look like a rock star.

Wow.

Well, you do look amazing, and you look strong.

It sounded like you were fishing for a specific answer.

There we go.

We got what we needed.

What if someone says, that sounds vain of you, Chris, to have that as a goal?

I don't think we should judge other people's goals.

And also, you're the kind of person where you're not, yes, to look good is great, to feel good, but you're doing it for your health.

So I think that people shouldn't judge, unless their goal is like, no, we shouldn't judge.

We really shouldn't.

Sunny's looking at her because she stopped petting him.

I was watching Starting Five on Netflix, and Jason Tatum's dad had told him in like 10th grade, hey, we need to make sure you are prioritizing haircuts and prioritizing how you present yourself, because there's all of these college scouts that are going to be checking you out, and if you keep balling out like you are in basketball, there's going to be a ton of opportunity, and we just want to make sure we're controlling the things we can control and being a good steward of that.

And I ain't playing basketball, and I'm not getting a scholarship from Duke for that, but I do think there is important saying, and I do think I could be better at that.

So I want to be a better representative and be, you know, whatever I'm trying to exemplify, be it the social connection, be it growing something, growing a business, growing a podcast, media, being a better husband or son.

I want to look good doing it.

Hey, look good, feel good.

There's a reason people say that.

I love it.

What else should we tackle?

Because I feel like we're winding down here.

We definitely want to leave them wanting more, so we should stop sooner, or else we're gonna be like, run out of things to say.

Like, I don't think we've ever talked this long.

Oh, please.

What's your word of the year?

Attitude.

Just kidding.

I actually don't have a word for the year.

Maybe I should.

I feel like that's something that December Annie should have figured out, but I didn't.

We hosted Christmas for the first time, so that occupied a lot of my...

It was so much fun, I can't wait to do it again.

And what else happened?

An engagement.

Yeah, we kind of previewed that earlier.

It's so exciting.

It was a Christmas engagement.

It sounds like a Hallmark movie title.

There is actually one called a holiday engagement.

And we like them both.

We love them both.

We're crazy about them.

So anyhow, I don't have a word of the year, but the other night, I kind of was being chippy to be funny.

And I said, what if my word for the new year was attitude, to have more attitude?

And I think that's funny.

I like the idea of having a word of the year that isn't the traditional stereotypical growth, change, challenge, endure, something like that.

I like the idea of it being attitude, or it being...

Inpatient.

Consume.

Consume.

Right, like these things that are like, what?

That's your word of the year?

Eat, eat, eat.

That would actually, I love food.

So eat.

People are trying to slim.

I'm trying to eat.

Bulk.

Bulk, that's right.

But, oh, you want the mic?

You put it.

We're gonna need to get some little lav mics for the channel.

It's gonna be hard, Sharon.

No, we're each gonna get a lav mic.

My best gal and I always joke about that.

Amy, we always joke about getting lav mics because we have really funny commentary.

I got one.

I got two right there.

Fabulous.

Okay.

Well, hey, thanks for having me on.

The only reason I don't use them is those lavs are not like the high quality dynamic mics, so they don't capture as much of the high and low.

So this mic is so good that it didn't pick up Sunny barking downstairs?

More than likely correct.

There he is.

He just barked.

He's like, get off the podcast.

So we will leave with a quote.

But before we say the quote, what about you?

What about you in 2025?

I want to engage with you.

I want you to think about your favorite lessons or hopes for 2025.

Put them in the comments.

Discuss what you change about 2024.

Okay, I shouldn't just read from ChatGPT, but definitely think about your 2024.

I hope that you can make 2025 the most social year yet.

I hope that you continue to prioritize your relationships and I know connection brings about opportunity and opportunity starts at connection.

Right?

Okay, so we're going to finish off with a quote.

The quote.

Oh my goodness.

Oh, I have a good one.

Be a goldfish, Ted Lasso.

Good one.

Really good one.

Be a goldfish.

We love Ted Lasso, Led Tasso.

Shout out to him.

Big Kansas fan.

And so are we.

So we love you.

As Rock Chalk.

As always.

See you real soon.

We'll see you next time, folks.