The Introvert Leader

Stop Competing. Start Winning.

• Austin Hopkins

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In this episode, Im talking about competition. What if you could build a wildly successful career without competing like everyone else? Listen in to learn how to approach competition to avoid burnout and separate yourself from the pack. 


Timestamp

1:00 — Story Time: How I competed against my friend for a promotion. 

4:46 — Mindset Shifts: Why competition can be a trap, and four shifts you can make to redefine what it means to succeed at work.

12:00 — Strategies: From preparation to playing the right games, these career tactics help you win without burnout.

20:22 — Challenge for Listeners: Identify one area you are competing needlessly. 


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This is your host, Austin Hopkins, and welcome to the introvert leader podcast.
The best way to compete at work is to not compete at all. Now, we've all been told that competing hard and beating the guy next to us is the only thing that matters. We have to compete with everybody who's trying to get the same job as us the same opportunities. Well, I'm here to tell you that I think that doesn't work. In fact, I made a career of doing the opposite. I spent my time focusing on what made me unique, leaning into my value and not participating in those competitions whenever they popped up. So that's what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about how to view competition, what mindset shifts you need to take, and what strategies you can use when you do want to compete in those moments where you think you need to. So that's what we're going to talk about today. To kick things off, though, I want to tell you a story. So I used to work with a guy named Greg. We're gonna call him Greg, that's not his real name, and Greg and me became friends. We would spend time together at work, email each other, we'd go out to lunch. We became friendly. He had been at the company a year and a half prior to when I started, and one day we noticed that this new position is opening up. It's going to be a higher level position that comes with a six figure salary, and you'd be managing a team of high net worth bankers across Washington, Idaho and California. And so I was pumped. I mean, this would have been the dream role. This was what I was shooting for. I knew I wanted this job. And so of course, I went ahead and decided I was going to apply. And I was chatting with Greg, and he decided he was going to apply. So this was going to be my direct competition. He was going to be my friend and my direct competitor. And so to be honest, it was a little weird, and we could have let it got really awkward and broke the friendship. But at the end of the day, I think we both handled it pretty well. You know, we tried to prep each other for our interviews, obviously, you know, stayed in dialog throughout the whole thing, and we went through the first couple of interviews. He did well, I did well, and then it came down to the kind of the final interview. So the last round of interviews for me and Greg were going to be Friday. He was going to go before me, and I was going to go right after him. And then after our interviews, we actually had a party we were going to carpool to. So during that week, I spent all of my time preparing for that interview, they had asked for a 3060 90 day plan, and I wanted to make sure that this just wasn't something I slapped together on a Word document, but that this really felt like I had put time and energy and thought into the product that I was going to be presenting. So I spent hours preparing for this 3060 day 90 presentation. I looked at data, I asked for feedback from other folks in my sphere, and I was feeling good about it. And in fact, I decided that I would get it professionally set and bound so that I had something physical and kind of more upscale that felt a little bit more premium. So I came into the interview. I was feeling good. I was looking good. I went through the 3060 day 90 plan, handed them this amazing booklet that I created. They were blown away. They absolutely loved it. So as we're wrapping up the interview, they said, hey Austin, we wanted to tell you that we've actually made our decision and you're going to be the new manager of that team. I was so excited, pumped, smiling ear to ear. As I'm walking to the door, the interviewer says, Hey, Austin, can you make sure to not tell anyone that you got the job for at least a week. And I'm like, Okay, and so I walked downstairs, hop in the car with Greg, and he asked me how it went, and I have to tell him, you know, it went good. I'm not really sure how it went, having to kind of lie through my teeth. I feel like a freaking double agent in the car. Long story short, you know, I get the job. And technically, I was competing with Greg. We both were competing for the same job. Now I didn't feel that way. I didn't feel like Greg was my competition. I didn't feel like I needed to beat him. I just focused on being the best version of myself by authentically showing up in the interview, being vulnerable. Coming to the interview was something that I was proud of, a physical product that kind of spoke to the vibe I was going to create which was a little bit more premium, and I felt good about it. At the end of the day, I want to show you that you can still achieve cool career milestones without having to compete in the traditional sense. So that's kind of what the goal is here today. You know, I get that for some people, competition is motivating, and in some environments, maybe it's even necessary, but I have seen way too many people burn out and start to lose their sense of self when they get in these competitions at work, whether it's them competing for who's going to lead the new project, or competing for the new role, or competing for the opportunities within their company, whatever it is, there are competitions that happen all the time within Our companies, and we have to be cognizant of when we're playing those games and when we're competing. So I want to jump into the mindset shifts and how to think about competition. So when I look back, the reason I was able to navigate that situation with Greg had nothing to do with luck, and it had everything to do with my mindset, how I was viewing that situation.
Yeah, because had I viewed it the wrong way, I would have felt incredibly competitive with Greg. I mean, he was applying for the same job. He was more experienced than me. He had been at the company longer, and it could have been so easy to feed into that competition and then even start to maybe drive a wedge between me and Greg. And luckily, I didn't. I was able to keep a cool head. And so I want to give you a couple things you can do to kind of shift your perception of what competition is and what it could look like at the company. So the first thing that I'll say is, don't compete, just be your best. So in my experience, when I see people really competing hard at work, it reads as insecurity. Now you may disagree, but I believe that when somebody is overly competitive, when they have to show that they're the best, when they have to try to beat the people around them, then they have to make every little thing a competition and really show their status through how they compete, I think it reads insecure. I think it shows that they don't have that internal motivation, and that they almost have to have a outwardly expression of how amazing they are. And at the end of the day, if you need a rival to be your best, I think you're putting your success in someone else's hands. So if you need someone else to get you going to be your best, to show up to work, that's a problem. Because what if you work in an environment when there is no one that you're competing with? Maybe you work remotely. I don't know your situation, but at the end of the day, if you are only using the people around you to be your best, that's a problem. So that's the first one. Don't compete, just be your best. Be the absolute best version of you. Come into work and be consistent. Show up the way you Promise yourself that you want to show up. And if you are consistently yourself and you're the best version of yourself regardless of what happens. If you get the job, if you don't, if you get the opportunity, if you don't, it doesn't matter. You're going to be proud of how you showed up. You can't control what you can't control. You can only control being your best. So that's the first one. So the next mindset shift you may need to make is making sure you identify who your competitors are. So here's the deal, be aware that there are people that are competing with you, even though you don't know you're in that competition. So you may find that this manifests itself in some weird ways. You may find people start to compete with you in little areas, who can respond to the email first, who can be the most vocal during the meeting. You know, there's lots of different ways that people start to compete. Who can dress the best? It can be just random shit. But I need you to be aware that there are people that are going to be competing with you, and if you're not aware of that, it can cause some weird stuff. You can find that people can start using information against you, and that people can start maybe backstabbing you, or being a little weird around you, or maybe you lose your trust in them. So at the end of the day, be aware that people might compete with you, so don't be oblivious to that. Be grounded in reality. Just know that there are going to be people around you that want what you want, that are trying to pursue the same things you are. So as long as you're aware of that, you have your guard up, you don't need to worry about it. You're not going to get hurt as long as you're clocking those things. Now the next one is, I think competing actually makes you blend in. So here's my theory. I've always felt that when I was competing at work, it kind of brought me down to the same level as everybody else, everybody else is competing. They're all playing the same games, and we're all against each other. Well, I actually felt that when I didn't compete, when I almost made a point to not play the games that everyone's playing, that I don't need to to vie for attention, that I don't necessarily need to be the loudest in the room, that I don't necessarily have to dress the best, that I don't have to be the most, you know, perfect version of what they're looking for. When I was just myself, when I didn't compete, I actually felt that I separated myself. If everyone's competing, but there's that one person that isn't, but yet they're still delivering value at the company that is a little interesting. People start to take notice, and they think, Well, why isn't that? Why isn't that person competing like everybody else? Like, do they think that they're above competition? Like, are they so good that they don't even have to play those games? And that's kind of the vibe I was giving off when I decided to compete with everybody else. I brought myself down on everyone else's level. I was in the mud. I was in the muck with everyone just scraping by trying to get what I could. But when I said, You know what, I'm not going to compete. I don't necessarily need to be the best in this thing. I just need to be the best I can be. It signals that I'm confident in my value and that I don't need to show others my value by competing. There's a quote from the author, Robert Green, that I think speaks perfectly to this. It's act royal in your own fashion. Act like a king to be treated like one. And I like that quote, not because I think I'm better than anyone else, but I do like the act of holding yourself to a higher standard and almost acting as if there is no competition, there is no one around you that's even on your level. And I don't want to sound weird, but I would literally tell myself in in my head, awesome, there's nobody that's not your level at this company. And whether or not that's true, it gave me a little confidence, and it really showed me that, like, hey, Austin, I don't need to compare myself to the people around me. I'm in a whole nother league by myself. Now, I think the last mindset shift we really need to make when we think of competition is learning from those ahead of you. So it can be so easy to look at the people around you.
Do and think, oh my gosh, she is so amazing. How does she do that? She shows up to these meetings. Everybody listens to her. She speaks with confidence, like, Oh, I wish I was more like Carrie. I could start to get envious of Carrie, or I could say, Okay, well, what's Carrie doing? Well, what could I learn from Carrie? And I really think that's been a key for me. There was only one person in my entire career that I really competed with, and in fact, I even had him on the podcast. Matt Holmes was somebody that I competed with back in the mid 2000s he was a branch manager. I was a branch manager, and I thought this guy was the shit. I mean, he knew his stuff. People loved him. He could communicate with passion. He came into meetings and showed up like an absolute boss, and I wanted to be like that guy. So instead of thinking that, like, oh my gosh, I have to beat Matt, which I soon realized I couldn't do, I decided I'm just gonna learn from this guy. So how does this guy speak? Well, I noticed when he went into meetings, he said less than everybody else, but when he spoke, everybody listened, and I started to pick up on the things that made Matt a rock star, and so not only was I not competing with him, but I was just learning from him, and I think that's another cool opportunity. So maybe there's someone at work right now that's kind of rubbing you the wrong way. You're like, why does this person kind of always get the opportunities I went, why are they always like, the first person to get called on for the new stuff? Like, why do they get promotions faster than anyone else, instead of being jealous or resentful, why don't you just look at them and say, What are they doing that I'm not what can I learn from them? What do they have that everyone else wishes they had? Those are the kind of things that I would be doing. I would be trying to learn from my competitors, instead of trying to actually compete with them. Because you get a free education when you learn from the people around you. So why not use it? So if you only change the way you think about competition, but you never actually take any action, you're probably not going to move ahead in your career, because at the end of the day, we are working in a company that has its own set of rules and guidelines and hidden agendas, and so we need to be aware of those things. So I want to give you five or six things that are going to immediately separate you from your competition. So the first one is stand out by owning your strength zone. So I recorded an episode called strength zone a couple of years ago, and it talks all about how to find out your strength zone. What is your strength zone? It's the intersection of what you enjoy doing, what you're good at, and what people actually need. So you probably heard the Japanese philosophy ikigai, very similar. Finding out your strength zone is the key. So if you can just own your strength zone and milk the shit out of that, you are going to immediately separate yourself. And when it comes to your strength zone, there is no overdoing it. In fact, I want you to practice it every day. I want you to use it. I want you to refine it. I want you to ask for feedback. I want you to absolutely stay in your strength zone. If you're asked to do something outside of your strength zone, try to delegate it, give it to somebody else. Do your very best, to focus on only the stuff that you're good at. So the next strategy when it comes to competition is pretty easy, and it's prepare more than anyone. I talked about how I prepared for that interview and the time I invested in that but I want to tell you what preparation can do. So you've probably read books about it, or watched podcasts, but preparation for me is the game changer. It's the key to everything. When I am spending more time preparing, I know the information, so in the moment, I'm not trying to recall the information, I'm just in the moment I'm delivering. I know the information better than anybody. I'm confident. I'm prepared. I know my shit, and so when it comes time to deliver, during that presentation, during that interview, during that big meeting, I'm ready. I'm in the moment because I'm prepared. So even five minutes of preparation can be a game changer. So you got a meeting coming up with a business partner, spend five minutes preparing. Do you have an all hands call? Well, spend a couple of minutes coming up with a couple of questions or a couple of comments you can make. Maybe you have an interview. Make sure you're preparing right? These are the just the non negotiables that you have to be doing, because your competitors, the people that you're playing in the same game with, are preparing as well. So if you're not spending time preparing. What are you doing? You're wasting opportunities. So prepare. Prepare more than you need to. Don't take it for granted, even if it's little things, things that you've been exposed to in the past. I still would recommend preparing like I'll give you an example.
So even if it's like a one on one, right? You've done one on ones with your team before, but prepare. What are some things you can ask your team? What are they struggling with? What are some cool books that you could recommend to your employee? Like, think of some things that you can do to prepare. I'm telling you. When you prepare, you are more confident, you show up better, and it allows you to separate yourself. The next one is, don't talk about competition. So here's what I think junior people do at work. They talk about their competition. Oh my gosh. Did you hear what Susie was doing last week? She got that new job. Oh my gosh. Did you hear about Terry? Terry is going to probably get selected to be the new project leader, and they're just going around talking about their competition. For me, when I hear someone else talking about their competition in a way like that, immediately I think, I'm your junior. Yeah, you're Junior. You're talking about your competition.
And they scare you. You're worried about them. That's why you're talking about them. Now, if you're not talking about your competition, and you're just showing up, putting up results and focusing on that, you're signaling to others, you ain't worried about the competition. You ain't worried about it. There's nothing that you're worried about. You've got it. You're worried only about what you are bringing to the table. And I think that's a really important thing to think about, is, why are we talking about competition so much? What's the reason we are keep talking about the competitors around us, the people that we're vying for the same jobs, for the same opportunities? Why is that? I want to transition slightly and talk about another strategy that you need to keep in mind, which is figure out what games you're going to play. So at work, there are hidden games at play. In every organization,
maybe it's people tracking who's going to spend the most time in the office, who's working the most hours, who's setting the most meetings, who's joining the most happy hours, who dresses the best. There's all these hidden games that are at play, and sometimes we need to play those games in order to get ahead. But I would caution you and say, don't just unknowingly participate in the games or the agendas that are happening in your company without actually making the decision to participate. So if you just find yourself, oh my gosh, I have to stay till seven every night so that people know that I'm a hard worker. Well, why are you doing that? Why are you choosing you choosing to play that game? What if you just clocked out at five, you put in a good day's work, and you just knew and were confident in your value and what you delivered that day. So the reason I say that is there are these games that will suck you in, and you'll get tempted to play the politics game and play these, you know, vanity games, in order to look good, to stand out. But in my opinion, when we play those and we don't make the choice to play them, and we just automatically think we have to, well, we're kind of acting short sighted at the end of the day, figure out what your senior leaders actually want and need, and then when you want choose to strategically play in those games, don't play them every single time. Don't do it unknowingly, and don't think you have to play them in order to get ahead, but be comfortable choosing to play the game when you need to. So I think the next one is maybe a little counter intuitive, but it's help your competitors and watch as it raises your stock. So it's weird when we decide to help our competitors, the people that we're competing for, the same opportunities, the same jobs, the same situations, if we proactively find ways to help them, what do you think that does? Well, number one, it probably disarms our competition a little bit. But number two, it shows to everybody else that we are so confident in our value, that we can give help and give away resources to other people and we're not worried about it. And it also shows to other people that we can collaborate and that we're gracious and that we're humble. It just signals a lot of power moves when we are confident enough to help our competitors. So if there's someone else that's going for the same job, there's someone else that are, you know, looking for the same opportunities, that are trying to get selected to do that big thing, what if you helped them? What if, instead of talking shit about them or trying your best to beat them or find their weaknesses. What if you tried to lift them up and you try to make them better? What would happen? Well, my guess is things are going to turn out better for them, and things are going to turn out better for you. Your stock is going to go up because it's going to show to other people. This guy understands it's not a zero sum game. This guy knows that he can help others and still win. And so that's the key there. I want to transition and wrap up with the last strategy, which is don't only focus on outcomes. So competition seems to make us think that it's a zero sum game, right? We believe that if our competition gets something, we don't get that. If someone else gets a win, we don't. I don't believe that that's not the world I live in. It's not a zero sum game. Somebody else can get the promotion and I can still get a win. Somebody else can get selected to lead a project, and I can still have a good career. So it's not a zero sum game. And I think when we focus too much on the outcomes and getting certain things, we are then putting ourselves in a very unhealthy headspace, because if things don't go well, our identity, our value, our worth, is tied to those things, and then we feel like we have no value and that we are a piece of crap. But instead, if we say, hey, I want this outcome, this would be awesome. I'm going to work towards it. But if it doesn't happen, I know something better is on the way. And when we give it up to the universe, we give it up to God. We trust the process, confident our value. We don't need to worry about the outcomes. Everything is working out for us. And just because you think that outcome, that new job, that new opportunity, is the only thing that matters, and that's what you want, well, you may be wrong. Maybe there's something that's much better that's coming a couple of months down the line. Or maybe if you had gotten that job, things wouldn't go well, and there'd be downsizing. You never know what's at play. And so I think focusing too much on the outcomes and tying your value or your worth to those things is a big mistake. Instead just focus on the process. Focus on being the best version of yourself. Everything is going to work out the way it needs to. So I hope you learned a couple of good things about how to make the shift in your mind around competition, how.
To see it as what it is, an opportunity for you to be the best version of yourself, help the people around you, and yet still get the things that you want in your career. I also hope that some of those strategies were helpful, that you understand that outcomes are, yes, they're important, but they're not everything, and also that there are games at play that we don't have to participate in and that we can choose to participate in when we want to so I want to wrap up and give you a challenge. So this week, I want you to identify one needless, unnecessary game that you're playing. Is there some sort of vanity game that's being played? Who works the hardest, who shows up to the most meetings, who dresses the best? If there's some game that you're unaware you've been playing, I want you to take stock in that. I want you to quit playing that game. You don't have to compete with everybody. You can just be the best version of yourself, I promise you, you will carve out an amazing career. You will feel better than the people around you, and you'll be able to avoid burnout. So I want to say thank you so much for listening. Make it a great
day. This has been the introvert leader podcast. Subscribe for new episodes every other Wednesday you.

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Austin Hopkins

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