The Introvert Leader

Career Support: The Tough Questions You're Afraid To Ask

• Austin Hopkins

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Ever feel stuck in your career but can’t quite figure out why? Or feel like networking makes you fake? Or wonder what to do when you lose your motivation? 

In this episode of Career Support, I tackle the real, raw questions people are afraid to ask. These aren’t hypothetical questions;  they’re pulled directly from the internet and answered through the lens of 15+ years of career experience and leadership growth. If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re on the right path, this episode will help you find clarity and momentum.


Timestamps

00:16 – Welcome to Career Support: Why I started this series and how tough questions drive growth

00:35 – Changing Careers in Your 30s: When money’s not enough; Meaning, fear, timing, and how I made the leap

03:00 – How to Network Without Feeling Fake: 7 steps that changed how I build relationships (as an introvert who hates networking)

7:22 – What to Do When You Lose Motivation: How to rediscover your drive when the spark is gone, plus a personal story that changed everything

11:37 – Challenge For Listeners: Your next bold move starts with one honest question



Career & Leadership Coaching

  • Want a better career? Clients who work with us earn 57% more and get promoted 3x faster on average: Book your free career clarity call here.


Resources

  • Simon Sinek Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0HIF3SfI4
  • The Brag Sheet (free Career Achievement Tracker): https://sts-coaching.com/resources/


Engage

SPEAKER_00:

Hello, this is your host, Austin Hopkins, and welcome to the Introvert Leader Podcast. Hi, I'm Austin Hopkins. I was promoted 11 times in 15 years, became a director by the age of 30, and now I coach people around the world on how to build confidence, take risks, and make an impact. So today I'm answering your real questions from the internet. This is career support. The tough career questions you're afraid to ask. So the first question comes from Reddit. For those in your 30s like me, has anyone changed careers for more meaning, not just money? Hey all, I'm in my 30s and I notice a lot of other people here on Reddit posting about feeling drained or stuck in your jobs. I can relate, for those who have made a career change at this stage, what drove your decision? Was it mainly about pay, skills, or was it also about wanting your work to feel more meaningful? How did you approach it? Retraining, testing new paths on the side, like side hustles, or just making a bigger leap? This is a fantastic question, by the way. So during COVID in 2020, I had reached my original goal of becoming a director before I turned 30. And I had spent years working towards that goal. But it's weird, once I hit the goal, I kind of started to look around and realized I was feeling a little unfulfilled. I had a fantastic team, don't get me wrong, and I had made a noticeable impact on the organization I was working at, but I had been feeling like there was untapped potential. Like there was more to me to give to the world. And honestly, you can only do so much when you're working for a company. I tried as much as I could to make my job feel meaningful. I really did. But when I actually looked at the work, the stuff I was doing every day, I was so bored. I really was. You can only grow and develop your team so much. At the end of the day, I just needed more. I needed more than just a paycheck and getting a few weeks off for vacation every year. And it's weird, I kept hearing this voice that said, you can make a bigger impact on the world. And I know that sounds cheesy, but I couldn't shake the feeling. So I said, screw it, and I decided to go all in. I was scared, but I had to at least give it a shot. And I gotta say, I'm lucky that I had a wonderful wife who could support us while I took the big leap. And, you know, it goes without saying, in order to go into full-time content creation, I had to spend hours learning new skills. I spent time on YouTube, I took courses, books, webinars, and it was really what I needed in order to make my new idea a reality. So if you were in your 30s and you're wondering if it's too late, in fact, it's not. You picked the perfect age to make a move. In our 20s, we're experimenting, we're working hard, we're figuring stuff out, we're building financial security. In our 30s, that's our time to be bold. That's our time to build something, that's our time to take a big swing. And you're not late. You're right where you need to be. So if you're feeling like your work doesn't have meaning, it's time to make a change because it's not gonna get better with time. If you continue to work just for a paycheck and don't care about the meaning or fulfillment in your work, you're gonna get burnt out and you're gonna stop wanting to do what you do on a daily basis. Okay, I want to transition to the next one. So you've decided to take your career to the next level. You've decided to find the balance between fulfillment and income. Now comes the hard part. I want to cover a question about networking. Question number two, how do I network without feeling like I'm using people? So I've been trying to take my career more seriously lately, and everyone keeps telling me the same thing. You need to network. But every time I try, it feels fake. Like I'm pretending to care about someone just to get something out of them. And that thought makes me very uncomfortable. Last night I was playing Rocket League. I was thinking about how natural it feels to connect with people you genuinely like because there is no agenda, just mutual interests. But when it comes to professional networking, it's like I freeze up. I don't want to come off as manipulative or transactional, but at the same time, I know connections matter a lot, and especially in competitive industries. How do you build genuine relationships in your field without feeling like you're just using people for career gain? Is there a way to make networking feel real and not some business performance? So, this is a great question, and I love that the user has enough self-awareness to know that simply just taking and asking for stuff when you're networking isn't the right move. And I gotta start by telling you something, and I'm gonna be honest with you, I hate networking. I hate it more than almost anything in the world. The act of talking with a stranger with the goal of getting them to like and help me is weird. It feels like only super confident extroverts can do it well. And as an introvert with a dash of social anxiety, it can be really hard to put myself out there. But I know I can't let that kind of stuff stop me from building relationships. So before you start networking, changing your mindset is the first move. Being embarrassed or insecure when you're networking doesn't work. People can smell that a mile away. Instead, I think you gotta do a little reframe. You gotta reframe what networking is to you. It's an opportunity to meet cool people and offer them some value in exchange for a combo. And I gotta say, I've gotten way better at networking over the years. So I want to share what works for me. So there's seven steps, I'm gonna cover them quickly. So the first one, find someone you respect within your sphere that you'd like to network with. So you probably can't network with Bill Gates. You probably don't know anyone who knows Bill Gates, and so that's probably not gonna work, and you probably can't network with The Rock, but could you network with someone at a company where you know someone or someone within your own company? Of course you can. So pick someone within your sphere, within your network that you'd like to target to network with. Number two, do some research on who they are in their background. So go on LinkedIn, look at internal company sites, so figure out some stuff about them so you can actually have an intelligent conversation when you get together. Step three, determine your goal. So do you want to just have a convo with them? Do you want to get information about a job? Or do you simply just want to build a relationship? Do you just think they're a cool person that you want to have a connection with? Step four, reach out. So be honest and be confident. I find that a lot of times people feel uncomfortable because they don't want to say what they really want. They don't want to actually tell the person, hey, I want to have a conversation with you. I want to network, I want to get to know you a little bit better. Do that. Be honest with people. I know that seems a little awkward, but people will appreciate your directness and they'll appreciate that you're not gonna waste their time. Okay, step five, prepare for the chat by prepping some talking points, looking at stuff that they might need or might be interested in. So if I'm gonna be networking with someone who is in marketing, I might want to look up some stuff that they've been working on. What is the company or their team really trying to market most recently? What are the challenges that they're facing? What articles have you read that you could maybe share with them or ideas or at minimum just stuff to talk about, right? Ask them some intelligent questions. People love to talk about themselves. So if you can have some prepared questions to talk with them about during that game changer, you don't want to just leave it open and just let the conversation go wherever it will. You want to have some sort of structure, some sort of an agenda. Keep in mind, too, that you can obviously adjust that as you're having a conversation. Okay, step six, keep the meeting short and follow the vibe. So if the the vibe is we're wrapping up early, we're done, we don't need to keep talking. Great. We don't need to fill the full 30 minutes or the full hour. Keep it short. You're gonna have future conversations and you don't need to cover it all in the first one. Final step is follow-up. Send them an email, send them a thank you card for their time. They're gonna appreciate it and it's gonna help you stand out. At the end of the day, if you're honest, if you come in with a mindset of offering help or at least being thankful, people are gonna like you and you're gonna build great relationships. Networking at the end of the day is just two humans connecting with each other. If you go in with no expectations, like I'm trying to get something from this person, I want to get promoted, I want them to recommend me. If you just kind of go in there with the goal of just getting to know someone and maybe a loose agenda, I'm telling you, you're gonna do just fine. Okay, I want to transition. Now that we've covered a little bit about networking, I'm gonna move on to something a little bit different. So, question three comes from Reddit as well. How do you rebuild motivation when your career feels like it's lost its meaning? I'm 26 and I work in tech. Stable job, decent pay, good team. On paper, everything looks fine. But lately, I've been waking up with this heavy feeling like I'm forcing myself through every day. It's not burnout exactly. I still get things done, but the spark that used to push me to learn, build, or care about what I'm doing is just gone. When I first started, I used to stay up late experimenting with code, taking online courses, dreaming about where I could go with it. Now I finish my tasks, I close my laptop, and I just sit there. Most of my energy goes into staying focused long enough to get through meetings. Sometimes I take short breaks just to clear my head, like playing a quick game or stepping outside for air, but it never lasts. I try changing projects, setting goals, and even exploring new tech stacks, but nothing really ignites that drive. I can't tell if I'm just mentally exhausted or if I picked the wrong field entirely. For anyone who's gone through this phase, how did you pull yourself out of it? Did you rediscover your passion in your current role, or did it take starting over somewhere new? I love this question. I think this is a fantastic question. And this is around the same age that I started to feel this same thing. So you get into your career at 18, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, you're working hard, you've got a goal, you want to make money, you want to move up. And then once you start to get a little of those things, you kind of start to look around and think, gosh, is this really what I want? Is this really all there is? Is this gonna be the rest of my life and my career? And it's weird. Motivation is a fickle thing. Sometimes it's high and we feel like nothing can get in our way. And then sometimes it's low and we barely feel like willing ourselves to work. I remember there's plenty of times where I barely could get into work. I just had no desire to go there. And I gotta say, I've experienced both in my career. And for me, motivation is usually tied to two things. It's tied to my goals and my fulfillment. When I have a big, scary goal that has meaning, I find that my motivation well has literally no bottom. I can go for hours and days, I don't get tired, I can put up with more crap, and I can keep pushing even when I'm emotionally or physically exhausted. Now, when I have a big goal that lacks meaning, I lose motivation. So let's say, for example, if I just have a goal that I want to make 200K a year, if I make more money, I'm not happier. I'm chasing something superficial. So I feel superficial. And I think that's what it is at the end of the day. When you're losing your motivation, that's usually your brain, your body, your mind telling you what I'm doing is superficial. It's not important. It doesn't align with my highest value that I have in this life. And so for me, I have found that when I get that balance of chasing something big that actually matters, it's a game changer. So here's what I would recommend asking yourself if you're in a situation like this. What am I doing to help people? You're never gonna go wrong helping people. You're never gonna not feel fulfillment and meaning when you're helping people. Another question you could ask yourself is what goal would take me way out of my comfort zone while making a difference in the world? So I'm not saying you need to go and be Mother Teresa and go volunteer and be in the Peace Corps, but I am saying, can you find a way to do work that you're good at that also helps people? So it's interesting. I actually remember losing my motivation for a few years when I was in my mid-career season. So one day I'm sitting at my desk and I stumbled upon Simon Sinek and his legendary video, How Great Leaders Inspire Action. So I watched that 18-minute video three times that first day, and I had sent it to all my friends and family by the end of the week. And it's weird. It's like this content was trying to find me and it found me at the exact right time. It's like something clicked in my brain. I instantly felt like I had a calling and a motivation to be the leader I always wanted. I realized I was meant to be a leader and help the people around me become the best version of themselves. So here's my advice to you. If you are losing motivation, I want you to start by identifying your why. What is your why in life? Why do you get up and do what you do? Do you do it just for money? That's not a good enough reason. Do you do it to make a difference in people's life? That's a start. But you got to find that perfect balance of having a goal that gets you out of your comfort zone, but also a purpose that is deeper than yourself. And if it's just about you and just getting a better career and just getting more money and just moving up for your own self, you're gonna lose motivation. Those things are not gonna sustain you long term. It's gotta be about something deeper and bigger. So that's my advice to you is to find something deeper. Find something bigger. Okay, I want to wrap up and give you a challenge. Your challenge for the week is simple. I want you to take one of the tough career questions that's been running through your head. I want you to spend 10 minutes brainstorming a solution. And then I want you to ask yourself, what action could you take this week to take yourself closer to that? Now, if you can't answer the question, I want you to click the link in the episode description to learn how my career coaching can help. I help folks all around the world get unstuck, get paid what they deserve, all while staying true to themselves. So I want to say thank you so much for listening to career support. Make it a great day.

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