The Real Reason You Feel Stuck at Work

You are stuck in a job you don't like. You're stuck at a company that doesn't fit your values. You're stuck on a path that doesn't feel right anymore. Being stuck feels heavy, but you may not know it yet; there is a way out. In this episode im sharing my 3-step framework for getting unstuck.

Timestamps

2:25 – Figure Out Why You Feel Stuck: Sunk cost fallacy? Comfort? Fear?

4:50 – Decide If It’s Worth Changing: Until you decide to change your situation, nothing changes. 

7:15 – Fully Commit: Committing to getting unstuck is what makes it actually happen. 

12:10 – Challenge: Name the reason you're stuck. Then ask yourself if you'd choose this path again if you started from zero. 

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Transcript

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Airport Confession And Career Fear

SPEAKER_00 0:00

It's 8 p.m. on Tuesday, and I'm sitting in an airport bar with a couple of senior leaders from my company. One of them turns to me and asks how school is going. I take a long beat and then I tell him I actually decided to drop out. Now I've been going to school for years with nothing to show for it. I felt stuck. Like I was on a treadmill going nowhere. He looks at me with a judgmental stare and then mentions, I might want to be careful making a big decision like this. He says, not for nothing. You should probably keep in mind that it's going to mean there's going to be a ceiling to how high you can move up in the company. They really want senior leaders to have advanced degrees. I nodd along, but in my head I remember thinking, fuck that, this can't be the only way. But if I'm honest with you, part of me also felt a pit in my stomach because if he said I needed the degree, maybe he was right. I respected his opinion, but I question if he was totally accurate. I was tired of feeling stuck, and I had to change something. Now, if you're feeling stuck in a job, stuck at a company, or stuck with a path you've chosen, I know how depressing this can feel. In this episode, I want to show you how to get unstuck. Hello,

Coffee Hunt And Quick Follow Ask

SPEAKER_00 1:07

this is your host, Austin Hopkins, and welcome to the Introvert Leader Podcast. My dad started letting me sneak a cup of coffee here and there when my mom wasn't looking. Now, this month, my wife and I have been on a coffee exploration kick. We decided to try this new spot last week that might just be the best espresso I've had in the last three months. It wasn't bitter, it was slightly earthy, sweet, and super balanced. The only problem, it's 30 minutes away. So I ask you, how far is too far to drive for good coffee? Alright, I gotta ask you a question. Do you like this show? Do you find value in what I've been sharing? If so, can you take 10 seconds and click the follow button? I would really appreciate

Why Stuckness Feels Like Quicksand

SPEAKER_00 2:05

it. Being stuck makes you feel powerless. You feel like you're in quicksand and there is no easy way out. The more you struggle, the more stuck you get. Whenever I'm stuck at work, I start to shut down and feel sorry for myself, which only makes it worse. Today I want to cover a three-step framework for getting unstuck. So settle in, my friend. It's time to learn something.

Step One Find The Real Cause

SPEAKER_00 2:25

So the first thing I want to talk about is figuring out why you feel stuck. As early as middle school, school was impossible for me. Because of my ADHD, I couldn't handle the classroom like everybody else. Now when I got to college, I thought it would be a little different. It wasn't. In fact, it was worse because I wasn't going to school because I had to, I was choosing to go. And I felt completely stuck. Hating something you're forced to do is one thing. Hating something you chose to do is something so much worse. Why is it that we feel stuck when we have the freedom to choose something else?

Sunk Cost Fallacy And Poker Lesson

SPEAKER_00 2:56

So the first thing I want to talk about is the sunk cost fallacy. You probably heard of it. Now, the sunk cost fallacy is the mindset that you should keep on the path you've chosen because of the time, energy, and money you've already invested. We think it's the smart move to see things through because changing course feels too costly. This mindset keeps people in bad situations much longer than they should be. So you may not know this about me, but I used to play poker tournaments and I would often struggle with this during games. I would bet on a hand and convince myself it made sense to keep betting more, even when I felt like I would lose. I didn't want to lose my initial bet, and I figured I might get lucky. I lost lots of money this way, and I would have been way smarter to just fold and try my luck at the next hand. Alright, I want to tell you a little bit more about my college journey. Normally, an AA degree takes two years. I was on year four with nothing to show for it. I had spent close to 20 grand and hundreds of hours. So it felt like it made sense for me to just stay in school and kind of see it through. I was stuck and blinded by the sunk cost fallacy. And I couldn't zoom out and see what the situation really was. That money and energy I had spent were shackles keeping me from escaping.

Questions That Create Career Clarity

SPEAKER_00 4:02

So I want to transition a little bit and ask you a question. Have you figured out what you actually want? Until you figure out what you want, it's really hard to get unstuck. Without a goal, there's nothing to move towards. So I stay stuck because I don't have clarity on what I should be focusing on or what I want. How can you leave your job until you know what kind of job you want next? How can you leave the company you don't enjoy till you figure out what kind of company you want to work at next? All right, so do me a favor, ask yourself a couple of these questions. What gets me excited? What sounds fun and challenging at the same time? What would I like my career and life to look like in three years? And does my current state help me get closer to my dream career? Once you figure out why you're stuck, you can actually start to change things. But before you change anything, you have to decide if it's even worth

Step Two Decide If Change Wins

SPEAKER_00 4:51

it. So let's talk about if it's even worth it to change your situation. All right, I want to tell you a little quick story to kind of put this into perspective. So I had been working at a two-banker office for a couple of years. Me and the other banker were responsible for all the revenue generation of our office. The other banker, Michelle, is an absolute master. She used to be a manager. She consistently hits over 130% of her goals every quarter. Well, I'm lucky if I even hit 100. Now this goes on for months, and I can skate by without real consequences because she's there to kind of make up the difference. This isn't good for me because I'm able to coast without ever having to really stretch or get out of my comfort zone. One day, my manager comes up to me and mentions there's an opening at a single banker office. She asks if I'm interested. I remember initially thinking this was a bad idea. A single banker office would mean all of the revenue pressure would be on me and I wouldn't have anyone to hide behind. I had a cushy gig, I didn't have to try very hard, and things were good overall, so why would I leave? So I want to ask you this. You feel stuck. Why are you staying? Are you staying because of the sunk cost? Are you stuck because of fear? Are you stuck because you're waiting for perfect conditions? Are you stuck because things are comfortable? What is keeping you from doing something different? I feel like a lot of times we just accept where we are and don't ask why we don't want to move. So let me ask you another question. What happens if you don't move? If you don't do anything different, what happens? Do things get better eventually? How long is that going to take? Do things get worse? How much worse does it get? Does your mental health suffer? Does your physical health suffer? Do you start finding ways to numb out? So I remember thinking about my career goals, and I wondered if I could ever really move up if I kept doing the same thing over and over again. Being stuck in that role was very unlikely to get me closer to what I wanted. So I thought about it for a couple of weeks, and eventually I said yes. I moved into the new office, and at first I instantly regretted it. The sales goals were crazy hard, and I struggled big time. I wondered if my new manager regretted hiring me. I wondered if I was even capable of supporting that entire office with my skill set. The first six months were rough and kind of a blur, but eventually I started to slowly find my groove. Now looking back, leaving that office was the best decision for me. Moving into a new office where I was fully responsible for the team's success forced me to grow and raise the bar. It also completely changed my career trajectory, launching my leadership career and ultimately this podcast.

The Growth Leap That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_00 7:10

So

Step Three Commit Through The Middle

SPEAKER_00 7:11

deciding to get unstuck is hard, but committing fully is where most people fall apart. Let me show you what that actually looks like. So let's talk about fully committing. Committing to my career path without a degree was not easy. First, I had to convince myself this was the best decision. Second, I had to live with the uncomfortable middle before I actually got where I wanted to be. Just know, if you're committing to getting unstuck, you have to have faith, it's all going to work out in the end. Many of us decide to make the change and then we quit once we don't see the results we expected in the time frame we expect. So in 2018, I was ready to be a director. I had the sales results, the leadership experience needed for the gig. I was beyond ready to take my skill set to the next level. But I wouldn't see that goal come to fruition for another two years. So that's two years of patience. So

Patience And Playing The Long Game

SPEAKER_00 7:59

let's talk a little bit about patience. So let's say you're stuck in a job you hate. You decide you want to do something about it. So you put yourself out there. You start applying for some roles outside the company, and four months go by and you get nothing. No job offers, just a bunch of interviews that go nowhere. It would be so tempting to pack it up and settle back into your current role. You'll tell yourself this is just a sign from the universe that I'm meant to stay where I'm at. You'll tell yourself this is the best there is. When this happens, you aren't getting a sign from the universe. You're simply being impatient. You've decided you know everything. You're an expert on timing and have figured out everything that's going to happen in the future. This is such a big mistake. I've made it, so don't feel like you're alone. Why are we so impatient with everything these days? We want everything to work out on our timeline the way we want it to look like. Life doesn't work that way. Look around you at the people you admire. Do they get everything they wanted right away? You've heard the stories about the famous actors who didn't reach start until the 60s, or the entrepreneurs who didn't make it big until 10 years after they started their business. Life is long, so quit tying your happiness to outcomes on timelines you create. Enjoy the ride. Play the long game. Getting unstuck may not happen tomorrow, but I can guarantee you it will happen when you decide to be patient. So

Silencing Doubt With Three Truths

SPEAKER_00 9:09

you're fully committing, but you're gonna get some doubt. So let's talk about how you silence the doubt. So both my dad and my father-in-law are obsessed with higher education. Both of them have master's degrees and have stressed the importance of education to all their kids. All of my sisters have degrees, my wife and her siblings have advanced degrees. And so when I told my family I wasn't gonna finish school, you should have seen the look on their faces. I could tell I just let them down, even if they tried to hide it. It was clear they didn't think I was making the right decision. This is when that doubt started to creep in. When the people you respect tell you you were doing the wrong thing, it's really hard to disagree with them. You start to doubt that you're even making the right decision. Don't you just wish that once you made a decision, we felt complete confidence in that choice? I know I wish I had that type of unwavering confidence, but I don't. So what can we do? Well, we can silence the doubt inside our head. And here is my hack for silencing doubt. I have to tell myself three things, and I swear to you it works. Number one, God or the universe, I know you have a plan for my life. I trust you, I know it's gonna work out. Number two, until I have the facts to prove that what I'm doing is wrong, I'm gonna choose to assume it's right. And number three, I believe in my ability to navigate whatever happens next. Let me kick you a scenario. Let's say you were feeling stuck at your company. Now you're paid well, but the culture is absolute trash. This happens a lot, by the way. You've decided to leave, but you start to doubt whether it's the right move after struggling to find a company with a culture you respect. You have tons of RSUs and a 41k with a match that's amazing. I want you to tell yourself these three things. I trust God or the universe wants me to be happy. Just because I haven't found a company yet doesn't mean there isn't one out there for me. And finally, I believe in my ability to find what I'm looking for. So when you're full of committing, it's tough, but I have another little hack

Burn The Boats With Public Action

SPEAKER_00 10:56

for you. I want to talk about burning the boats. So you probably heard of the famous story of Cortez burning his boats as he lands in Mexico. So my version was a little less extreme, but still scary. So I remember telling my family and friends I was quitting school and then telling my work to go ahead and cancel the tuition reimbursement I had requested earlier that quarter. This made that decision real. So let's say you decide you want to move to a new field or industry. You're kind of tired of where you're at. How can you make sure that you don't backslide on your goal to getting unstuck? Well, you can do a couple of things. Number one, you can tell your family or friends your goals so that the social pressure of your public commitment keeps you moving. If you never tell anyone your plan, it's really easy to give up. But if you publicly tell people what you intend to do, it's a lot harder to give up. The second thing you can do is take action. Before you take action, it's easy to quit or give up. Once you take your first step, it becomes much harder to quit because of the time or energy you invested. Maybe that means taking a course related to the field you want to get into. Maybe that means reaching out to someone at a company you want to work at and asking to meet with them. Maybe it means getting an industry certificate. Whatever it is, make retreat impossible and burn your boats, baby.

Weekly Challenge And Fulfillment Quiz

SPEAKER_00 12:09

Okay, I want to move on and give you a challenge. So here's what I want you to do this week. I want you to take five minutes this week and name the reason you are stuck. Is it fear? Is it comfort? Or is it the sunk cost fallacy? Then I want you to answer this question. If I were starting from zero today, knowing everything I know, would I choose this path again? Now, if you're feeling stuck in your career, there's a good chance you aren't fulfilled. Maybe your goals aren't getting any closer, even though you're working hard. Maybe your pay doesn't match the value that you think you're adding. Whatever it is, something is off and I know you can feel it. So I created a career fulfillment quiz that can help. In less than two minutes, you're gonna be able to figure out what's missing and what you can do about it. So click that link in the description. I know you'll find some value. If I were to listen to that leader at the airport, I still might be in college, puttering away, spending time and money on something that wasn't for me. Instead, I followed my gut and decided college wasn't gonna be my path. I got unstuck. I'm glad I did because over the next six years, I got promoted multiple times, started multiple departments, and made an impact I'm really proud of. If you're stuck in a job you hate or following a path that no longer excites you, there's something you can do. Getting out of your situation does take courage, I'll be honest, but it will always pay off. You don't have to be stuck forever. Do something about it. I want

Final Push To Do Something

SPEAKER_00 13:31

to say thanks so much for listening. Make it a great day. Subscribe for new episodes every other Wednesday.