#75: What I Learned After a Decade of Home Education- a Former Middle School Teacher's Story

What if you could transform your child's educational experience by stepping away from traditional schooling? Join us on The Homeschool How To as we sit down with Rachel Chioreanu, a former middle school teacher and school counselor, who made the leap to homeschooling her children. Rachel shares her candid observations on the inefficiencies of public schooling, especially for kids with learning differences, like her son who has dyslexia and dysgraphia. She emphasizes the value of tailoring a personalized homeschool curriculum that fits each child's unique needs, rather than replicating a conventional classroom environment at home.

Discover an array of homeschooling resources that can make the educational journey both enriching and enjoyable. Rachel and I discuss programs like Brave Writer, Mystery Science, and the Tuttle Twins book series, which not only focus on core academic subjects but also uphold family values. We dive into how setting academic and social goals with your children can encourage self-driven learning and adaptability. The potential of AI in curriculum personalization also makes an appearance, promising a new frontier in homeschooling.

The social dynamics of homeschooling are just as crucial as the academics. Rachel shares her experiences building a supportive homeschooling community through local co-ops and social activities. Tune in for a conversation that combines heartfelt stories, expert insights, and actionable tips to help you thrive on your homeschooling journey.

Rachel's book-You Can Homeschool!: A practical guide on how to start and sustain a homeschool life that fits your family

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool How-To. I'm Cheryl and I invite you to join me on my quest to find out why are people homeschooling, how do you do it, how does it differ from region to region, and should I homeschool my kids? Stick with me as I interview homeschooling families across the country to unfold the answers to each of these questions week by week. Welcome, and with us today we have Rachel Cariano. Rachel, thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 2: 0:37

Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 0:39

So, rachel, you were a homeschool mom and your kids are now back in school. So I love this perspective, because parents always feel like, oh, I don't know that I can do it for the long haul, and they don't even want to give it a try because they feel like if they had their kids go back into school, that it's somehow a failure. And it's absolutely not. It can be for a season and still be a success. So why don't you tell us a little bit about your story, how old your kids are and what even got you into homeschooling originally?

Speaker 2: 1:14

Oh well, yeah, this is. This is a great topic and hopefully this conversation can just be uplifting for people who may be thinking about homeschooling, who might not be homeschooling yet or maybe, like you said, are scared to homeschool because they feel like, oh, I'm not going to do this forever. So I'm here to tell you that it might be for a season. Yeah, so how I got into homeschooling is a little bit of background about myself is that I am a. I used to teach middle school. I taught seventh grade English and language arts in inner city Detroit for several years, and then I went ahead and I got my school counseling license right, so my master's in counseling and I thought, when my kids were of school age, they'd go to school and I would become a school counselor. That was my vision of how I thought my life would go. But, as everyone knows, life just comes at you and you just ride the waves of whatever happens. So I put my oldest back this is back in 2014 in kindergarten, and he did a year of public school kindergarten and something was off. He would come home with, like his little Star Wars light up backpack would just be filled to the brim with these papers of work and I'm thinking I'm sitting you off to school for eight hours every single day. What on God's green earth are you doing that? You're coming back home with all of this. You know homework or whatever it is at the time, and so we sit down after eight hours of school and try to get through these worksheets and I just thought this is the most ridiculous thing that is ever happening. And so, right around at the end of kindergarten, it just so happened that my husband got a job out in Silicon Valley. So we moved from the Metro Detroit area to around San Francisco area and I thought there's such an upheaval in my life right now. Let me just keep my kids at home. Let me see if I can figure out what's going on. You know with my oldest and you know we'll homeschool from there. Honestly, I thought we're going to give this next year a go and see where it goes from there. So we were out there.

Speaker 2: 3:19

To say this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life is probably an accurate statement, because I thought I would have this on lock. I was like I'm a teacher, I'm a school counselor, like homeschooling. I got this and I was wrong because I tried to implement what I was doing in the classroom at home, and for anybody that's listening, I just want to let you know that if you are homeschooling or starting, don't try to implement the school and don't try to see what your friend's doing. That's homeschooling to do the same Like figure out your own family's way of homeschooling and just really be intentional with that, and that can be just a just a beautiful thing. So don't put pressure on yourself to recreate the school system so we go along um, only to find out later that my oldest uh has dyslexia and dysgraphia, and I promise you, if I would have left him in the public school system, he would not be able to read by the end of elementary school like hand to God. He just wouldn't, because that's a whole nother show and I'm not even gonna, you know, stand on my soapbox about that, but I feel like with kids, with parents that have kids that maybe aren't neurotypical or have learning differences, unfortunately, the public school setting is not a great environment for them to learn, and so when we went into homeschooling, I was finding family after family that their sons or daughters had dyslexia, and it was just so, so sad that the schools aren't doing what they need to do. Again, that's a different thing. I can talk for hours about that.

Speaker 2: 4:58

So here we are. We're in California I don't know anybody. We're trying to homeschool, and just through sheer willpower of internet searches, facebook groups, social media, reaching out to the people around me, I was able to find a really, really sweet group of people that came alongside me. There was this great I call it a co-op, but technically it's not a co-op, but it's K through 12 and it's called A-Team and this lady named Ann, she was awesome. She like kind of took me under her wing and she introduced me to all these people and just found really great connections. My kids took dance classes there. They took they just took a whole bunch of like non-core academic classes and we found our people and every Friday we would either go to the beach with these people or we would go hiking, and then we had a book club on top of that, and so it was a really great community and to the point where I was like, oh, I can continue, this homeschool thing is sustainable.

Speaker 2: 5:57

And then COVID hit and then, just like everybody else, our worlds kind of fell apart, because in the Bay Area. All of our core group of friends left because they were all transplants like us, and they figured out you know, we can work remotely, we can go somewhere else. So, long story short, I stayed out there for eight years and I homeschooled my kids kindergarten through eighth grade and now this year my sons, who are 13 and 15, we moved back to Michigan and now they are in the public school because every year I would homeschool. I would ask them do you want to homeschool or do you want to go to to? Uh, do you want to go to school?

Speaker 2: 6:37

And every year, up until this previous year, they would say homeschool. So right on, now that they they're a little bit older, they want probably more freedom, independence for me, and they decided they want to go to school. So I wanted to honor them in that. And I know there might be some people listening and I know there are people who just don't agree. There they're, you know they're thinking I'm the parent, I know best you need to be in homeschool. But I just really wanted to honor them in this way.

Speaker 2: 7:05

So I don't even know what you asked me, but that there is my story.

Speaker 1: 7:07

I love it. No, that was great. How did that feel to hear your kids say I want to go back into school?

Speaker 2: 7:16

Yeah, I think it was. It was something I wanted to honor. It was. I wanted to honor them through this process, and I'll tell you why. There's a story behind this.

Speaker 2: 7:29

I have a friend back in the Bay area that she was homeschooling her kids, and she was homeschooled her whole life. She was homeschooled K through 12 and she has siblings four siblings that were homeschooled as well, and she loved it. It was great. But she had a brother who, I think around middle school, asked their parents hey, can I go to school? And they said no, we know what's best. We want to keep you at home. And he would ask every year can I go to school, can I go to school? And they would always say no, and he became super resentful. And now that he's grown and he has a family of his own and I don't know all the extenuating circumstances of this, but he doesn't talk to his parents he's super resentful, and so that's kind of always played in the back of my head.

Speaker 2: 8:12

And I will say, though, that with them going to school, it's like, yes, you can go to school. And we are still doing these lessons at home, and on the weekend we're still doing this curriculum. That we're doing that we're doing as a family. It's not, this is just. You know I'm handing you off. There's still stuff, you know, as far as character development, social, emotional programs, things like that that I'm still doing with him at home. And you know, like I said, every year is something different. So, who knows, maybe next year they're like I want to homeschool right on. That's fantastic, we'll continue to do this.

Speaker 2: 8:48

So to the people that are thinking, you know, hey, I need to homeschool all the way through, there are schools of thoughts that think that. But just be open. Be grateful for the time that you have with your kids, because you know the time that we're on this earth is so short and so you have this opportunity to homeschool, if it's for a, you know, a year, a semester, a quarter. Do what you can with them, then, because I promise you that the time that you spend with them, those memories will just be their core memories that they have growing up. And it's, you know, it's my hope that the eight years that I've spent homeschooling with them, that it's just really built upon their character and that they, when they get older, they can recall not just the math lessons but all the stuff that we did the museums, the beaches, the gosh. We've done so much things.

Speaker 2: 9:34

During COVID we got an RV and we traveled we, so we homeschooled in our RV, so we put our two kids in our RV, we put our cats in our RV. It was crazy, two cats that like wouldn't let us sleep at all and for months we would just go out on the road and we'd go to all the national parks and it was uncomfortable at times. But you know, I'd like to think that we built a lot of character and memories during those times.

Speaker 1: 9:56

Oh, that is one of my goals as well, to you know. Visit some of the national parks, something I never thought I would do. Growing up, I'm more of like a oh, let's sit on a resort. But now that I have an appreciation for that kind of thing and nature and really learning about history, I would love to do that with my kids. Now, how did your kids do not I'll ask this in a moment not socially, but academically going from, uh, learning at home with you for the first eight grades to going into high school? Were they on par or did they find it difficult? Were they okay academically?

Speaker 2: 10:44

Yeah, that's a great question and I will say I think this is the number one fear of all homeschooling parents is am I doing enough? And you know, if they have to go back to school, how will they fare? Right, and you guys, you're, you're fine, you are 100% fine. Um, they're just fine. They're getting, I mean academically, they're getting A's and B's, uh, and so what I have found and I say I used to say this all the time what I could do with my kids in an hour would take me a week in the classroom. Right, because in when I was teaching, I was dealing with 25, 30 kids in a class. I can sit down with my kids and do this one lesson in one hour.

Speaker 2: 11:33

So if you're homeschooling, I mean, yes, follow your curriculum, do whatever you're doing, but don't beat yourself up, don't be so fearful of falling behind, that you're leading or you're teaching from this idea of fear. Because when you're teaching from fear, when you're living your life from fear, it's just so limiting. So I want to just say, as someone who's been through this let's have their kids and they're doing, they're doing great. That you're fine, you're doing great, keep on doing what you're doing and just loosen up a little bit and just teach from love and from a sense of peace, because if you're doing it, because you're under the gun and you need to finish the math workbook or whatever, it is that fear that's over over your head, it's just going to be a miserable environment um so yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 12:29

Now how are they doing socially? Are that? Were they the weird homeschool kids that don't know how to socialize in society, like they all try to make us think our kids will be? Or, uh, you know, are they enjoying it fitting right in and have you seen any changes in them versus like the values that you were teaching in them to now being around so many different kids that come from families of different values or lack thereof, have you seen any of that sort of come out in their personalities or demeanor?

Speaker 2: 13:06

Yeah, for sure, and I am well aware of the reasons why people homeschool. I think if you ask 10 different people why they homeschool, they'll tell you 10 different things. And I know one of the top contributing things is we want to I don't want to say shield our kids, but we really want to. We really want to instill the values that we have right as a family and not the world and not the public education system. So I honor that and I can see that in people that homeschool. But I feel like at the times that I sent my kids to school seventh and ninth grade they were really strong in who they are and know who they are, and it's an ongoing thing and perhaps they have been more exposed to different ideas. Whereas before it was just kind of our small group of people that we always saw, now they're at a school. I think the middle school that my son goes to might have like 1200 kids. So think about that just from the demographics of all the different religions and value systems and all the other things.

Speaker 1: 14:21

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Speaker 1: 15:37

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Speaker 2: 16:39

But that's why, in sending them, I'm saying we're still doing these things. It's not like I said, I'm sending them to school and they're off. We're still doing these things. We're still going to church every Sunday. We're still having our family time on Saturday mornings so that you're reminded of our values as a family.

Speaker 2: 17:01

So I don't think everyone has different everyone has different ideas of of of when to send their kids to school, if at all. But I don't want people to think that all the time they spent homeschooling is just going to get washed away because you send them into a public school. I think if you're intentional with your kids and you continue to be intentional with them, then the values that you're instilling with them will stay with them there. You continue to be intentional with them, then the values that you're instilling with them will stay with them. There's going to be some hiccups. They're kids, I mean, they're going to do stupid things and they're going to. You know, just like I did, I'm sure, just like you did when you were kids. But you know, if you're intentional and you continue with that, they're still going to have a sense of the values that you have.

Speaker 1: 17:51

Absolutely. You have to unleash them unto the world at some point in time. So you know they're not like. You can't keep them locked in your basement forever, as much as we want to. But now you wrote a book. Right, you got a book, and can you tell us a little bit about it and what made you write the book?

Speaker 2: 18:08

Yep. So I have a book that's called you Can Homeschool and I wrote it because I felt at the time, five or six years ago, I constantly had people coming up to me being super curious about why it was homeschooling. Could they homeschool, and what was it like? And so, after just repeating myself over and over, my husband was like you should probably just write a book. So I was like, yeah, I should probably just write a book. It took five years to actually go from start to finish to actual publishing.

Speaker 2: 18:43

But really I know we were talking before and it's 100% not about making money, because Lord knows I haven't, but it's really. I just want to encourage that person that thinks maybe I can homeschool but I don't have any skills Like, I'm here to tell you you don't need to have a teaching degree, you don't need to have a counselor's degree, you don't need to have an early child development degree. You just have to have a want to love your kids and to teach your kids and to be flexible, and if you do that, then you can have a beautiful season of homeschooling, whether it's for a semester or maybe you do it all the way through 12th grade. I mean, it was a joke. But at one point my son my youngest was like can you homeschool me for college? And here he is in school.

Speaker 2: 19:32

But I was like I don't think I can do that. But yeah, I mean, it's just. It's just a matter of there are so many resources out there. I mean think about the people that were homeschooling 20, 30 years ago Like oh my gosh how. But now I mean you're just inundated with curriculum and AI. Have you talked about AI at all on your show about implementing curriculum?

Speaker 1: 19:59

Tell me about it.

Speaker 2: 20:00

Okay, I think, just with like chat, gpt and different things that are coming out, you can have curriculum specifically tailored to your kids, right? And I mean, these are just random, vague thoughts in my head. I haven't done a lot of research with it, but I'm super interested in the next couple years what that's going to look like as far as education goes, just in general, and then how can we bring that into our homeschooling to create the perfect curriculum for each kid. I think it's a beautiful thing. I know a lot of people are scared about AI and things like that, but I think it's awesome. I think we're going to be better human beings for it. But yeah, so to circle back sorry, I kind of went off on a caveat, but to circle back for those of the people that are thinking about homeschooling but are scared, just give it a shot. I mean, you can always send your kids back to school, right? Like I said, even if it's for a season, you can make it whatever you want it to be.

Speaker 1: 20:59

Yeah, ai is interesting because I have heard from teachers now that when they go to assign a report to be written, they don't know like they have to decipher. Is this AI, is this the student, is it a mix of both? And it's like, okay, well, I'm 40. When we went to college 20 years ago, they didn't have to worry about this, so they weren't teaching how to decipher the two.

Speaker 2: 21:29

Yeah, they should come up with an AI system to determine if it was AI produced. I mean, it's so. You know it's crazy, but I think it's awesome. Like just to give you an example of how ChatGBD has helped me last year I taught a nature journaling group at the park just across from my house for middle schoolers and there was an eclectic group of kids and I was thinking, you know, I have these lessons, but how, like, how can I draw them in more? And they had their own different little interests, and so I was just like, how can I make these? And then it gave and I put it into JetGPD like their specific interests, and then it gave me lesson plans on how to implement each kid's interests into there. So I was like, oh, that's rad, that's so cool. I would have never thought to do that. So it's just, you know, going forward, I think it's going to really enhance and improve people's ability to get in touch with the content that they're learning, with the content that they're learning.

Speaker 1: 22:29

Now that you say that, my friend Justine, that I have had on the curriculum side of this podcast, she gave me a link recently that was like if you want to work on, say, phonics, and you put in your child's interest and what you want to work on, and it'll come out with different exercises you can do. So I have to find that link because I can uh, I'll put that in the show's notes for this and people can check that out. I don't know if it's AI or not, but I'm assuming I mean, somebody wasn't there like writing all the things out, you know. So it makes sense that that would be AI. Yeah, and it's.

Speaker 2: 23:09

It's almost like you know. So it makes sense that that would be ai. Yeah, and it's. It's almost like you know, and I know there's a, I know there's a lot of fear around it, but honestly it's just making things more effective. Uh, especially from the teaching standpoint. When I was a teacher, I used to have to. I mean, I did develop some lessons on my by myself. I'm staying in the classroom, but I would spend hours just scouring the web for lessons and now it's's just like boom, a couple of writing, you know a couple sentences, and boom, I have like 10 different lesson plans I can pick from. But yeah, and I think, as far as scheduling, too, goes with homeschooling, you can create a perfect schedule that AI could maybe produce, based on your lessons that you're teaching for the day, what curriculum you have, your extracurriculars and everything like that. I'm excited to see where this is going to go?

Speaker 1: 24:00

What curriculum have you used?

Speaker 2: 24:03

Yeah. So we've done a lot and I have a lot of. I have some thoughts about curriculum, because I know that people can get really tripped up on this, because I know there's some curriculums that, like they promise crazy results, like get two years of math growth in two months, you know, if you use our curriculum. So some insight that I can say to that is that if you're just starting off and you're looking for curriculum, before you buy, go ahead and see if you can flip through the book, and if you can't physically flip through the book, see if you can at least look through it before you spend money. Because there was so many times where I bought, like you know, $100, $200 set curriculum only to figure out like this isn't going to work in like a week, and just there goes the money.

Speaker 2: 24:49

So if you can go to a conference there's lots of homeschool conferences Go there. There's tons of vendors there. You can look at Facebook groups. If you can go on Facebook groups and look at different curriculum, go through that. And libraries too I know our library in San Jose, where we lived, had a ton, a ton of educational resources not only books but manipulatives too, that you can look through. So go and use all those resources and I'm sure, if it's an online thing, do the free trial before you actually go and pay for it.

Speaker 1: 25:22

Yeah, I actually recently started a bonus episodes of the homeschool how to, where I just talked to parents about different curriculums. So I kind of went out like fishing on the internet like who uses you know these curriculums and had interviews like 15, 20 minutes just asking a series of questions. For you know, um, how long does each lesson take? Is it secular or religious? What is the bird's eye view of you, know your, of what your child is learning? From the beginning of the book to the end?

Speaker 1: 26:00

What is your day-to-day look like as you're using this curriculum? You know like what is? Does it start off with a review? Are there games? Is it writing intensive? Is there you know a puppet or you know, like, talk about that so that people have that idea. Because, yeah, I had seen like you had mentioned all those different resources but not really put into like a one on one conversation with someone that's actually using it. So I it's a three dollar a month paid subscription, but that's just because it costs so much money to run the podcast. So I figured you know that might be helpful to people who want to check it out. And yeah, we started that a couple of weeks ago actually. So what ones have you actually used?

Speaker 2: 26:39

Right. So I we've been doing a lot. So I will tell you for each subject what had served us very well throughout the years. And I'll start with reading and writing. And that's Brave Writer. It is secular, but I love it so much because it's literature based. So you're reading a novel each month based on the grades, and then there's copy work, there's grammar work, there's essay writing all based on that. And we actually took it a step further and we created a book club based on that. So we would do the work through that and then every month we'd get together, I'd host it at my house and kids would come over and we'd have just a good time talking about the book and doing all these different things. So you can do whatever you want with Brave Writer. Julie Bogart is amazing. It is secular.

Speaker 2: 27:25

Matthew C for math goes K through 12 all the way up until, I think, calculus. The reason I like that is because my son has dyscalculia, which is just a form of dyslexia. But with math and it was very hands-on and it was very deconstructed. It was so you know, some math programs go from like zero to 100, but it went very slow and it just deconstructed the whole process and I re it really resonated with both of my kids. So we used Matthew C for that. Um, for history, we did story of the world, and so I'm sure you've you've done this before. But, um, there's a ton of activities and hands-on activities, and how that would look like in my house is I would read and they would draw or play with Legos and we talk about it, and then if there was an activity that was with that, then we do that. That was hands on. Um, that was really good. And um for science Uh, there, for when they were in elementary school, we did mystery science, which was very nice. I think it's very affordable. Um, a lot of videos with that, so you're not actually teaching some extracurricular hands-on.

Speaker 2: 28:37

And then we did a lot of generation genius, which I think is an annual subscription, but that goes through eighth grade. They also have a math one as well, but we didn't use the math, but the science one was good, and now I think they have kits and stuff. But Generation Genius was really cool. We liked their lessons, it was fun, we had a lot of good times. And then we also did the chemistry and physics sets which they would get mailed to us once and that was good because I was kind of out of the picture for that and they just did the thing, you know, and I was, I was taken out of the equation, which I think is good, and I can talk a little bit about that. As your kids get older, you want to give them things where they're just autonomous in that and that you're out of the equation. Of course you're there if they have questions, but you're they self-driven and led like that. So those are kind of our four things that we did for every subject.

Speaker 1: 29:37

Oh, awesome, yeah, Maybe even if we wanted to get more in depth, you can come on the curriculum series at some point and like go through a lesson with us, that would be cool. So what are? Did you sit down with your kids, like in the beginning, and say you know what are our goals for like by the time you graduate, and have those changed throughout the years? If you did do that, yeah, that's a great question.

Speaker 2: 29:57

I think at the beginning of each year, I think at the beginning of each semester, of each quarter, heck, even every week we want to have a time to kind of recalibrate and set goals. And so I would start off, we would kind of do it month by month, so academically, we would sit down and be like all right, this is what we're doing. Where do you think that we can end up at the end of the month? Do you think we can cover this many lessons? And they would be like yeah, we can cover this many lessons and oftentimes, to be 100% honest, we didn't finish what we thought we were going to finish.

Speaker 2: 30:47

But that's not to say that we failed. It's just that we set a goal and it's good to of our life where we set social goals. So for one of my kids it's a little it's. For one of my kids it's a little bit more challenging. He's, he's, he's shyer, right, he's more shy.

Speaker 2: 31:02

So for my other kids he'd go to the park, he'd meet like 10 best friends and the other one, you know, you just just be really shy. But if you have a kid, um, uh, that's a bit more shy set social goals with them. Hey, if we go to the park, why don't you know? Why don't you pick one person you go up to and just say, hey, I like your shoes, or hey, you want to go on the swings with me, and that could be your goal when you go to the park? It's not, and that's the great thing about homeschooling is you can set academic goals, you can set social goals, you can do whatever you want and you can recalibrate every month, you can do it every week, but absolutely I would set goals so that they have something that they're working towards and that they're striving towards.

Speaker 1: 31:42

Yeah, that's important. And you know, what I love about homeschooling, especially in these younger ages, is I'm seeing how my son is developing, whereas if he were at school and I wasn't witnessing his interactions with other kids and in different situations, you know things would go by the wayside. You just assume things are progressing as normal. But I am able to see now, at age five, you know that when he's one-on-one with somebody he's fine. You know they, they get along fine. Of course they do like the you know little competitive thing or like, oh, he pushed me. But you know, for the most part everything's normal and good.

Speaker 1: 32:23

When we go into groups. I can tell immediately because it's happened multiple times If there's a group he wants to be approached. He does not want to go into the group of kids his own age. So what he will do is go off on his own and if there's younger kids around, he attaches more to them and like at first I was like, okay, that's weird. Maybe the kids were like mean to him or something, maybe he was mean to them and they didn't want to hang out with them.

Speaker 1: 32:54

But now it's like I notice a pattern. So I'm kind of going, I'm talking to him a little bit about it. I'm talking to my husband a little bit about it and other other moms to see is this normal? You know what's going on? And what I think it is is that he is kind of afraid of rejection from kids his own age. So when he's around the younger kids they'll just look up to him because he's the older one. And I don't know if this is good or bad or it's something I have to kind of correct or just kind of let it go. And if that's the way it is, that's the way it is. We all fear. Like, oh my God, all the other kids that are his age are all making good friends with each other, and my kid is like over here with a somewhat half his age. But does that matter?

Speaker 2: 33:39

That's. That's a really great example. Thank you for thank you for sharing that, because that was my life, like that was my story of it's funny, you can have two kids uh, you know, same parents, same household, completely different. And so to your situation specifically, if, first of all, I would say, like, don't let it stress you out, my gosh. We let, as parents, we let so many things stress us out and we just get torn up about the silliest things.

Speaker 2: 34:10

But if it's something that you want to encourage, I mean you can create smaller groups. You know, if you know three or four kids the same age, you can create that and again, that could be a social goal that you have with your kid. I think so much of learning social skills and developing social cognition in the early ages is just observing and role modeling. Observing and role modeling and this is even something if you wanted to get. If you have a group of homeschool families together, just be like hey, you know, when we get together for play dates, let's model what good social connections and relationships would be like. So, like if you have how old's your son?

Speaker 1: 34:51

He's five, five and a half.

Speaker 2: 34:54

Okay. So if you had like a group of five-year-olds, like four and five-year-olds you go together, like, let's say, johnny's coming in and he's a little bit shy, do you think we could have Johnny practice like introducing himself to the group? Right, so then he's in a safe space, right, it's kind of parent or teacher facilitated, and it gives him the practice of stepping outside and practicing introducing in a group and then also just with social interactions. I mean, there's going to be conflict. We're human beings, they're five-year-olds and six-year-olds. So just reenact things. This is what I used to do with my kids all the time. What happens when you're at the park and some kid comes up to you and just hits you with a stick and scene. What do you do? Let's brainstorm some different ways and to bring other kids alongside. So that's a great way of homeschooling that you're not doing academic but you're bringing other people in and you're teaching social cognition and you're developing these social skills. And it's a beautiful thing because everyone benefits the extroverts, the introverts and everybody in between.

Speaker 1: 36:00

Yeah, you're so right. It's so funny when you're like, oh, model it after that. Meanwhile, I am the 40-year-old and all these moms are like 30. Like the one was like I'm turning 30 this August and I'm like, oh my goodness, here I am hanging out with all the young ones, but meanwhile I'm going to them for advice. I'm like, how am I supposed to make sourdough bread? Or what's the homeopathic remedy?

Speaker 2: 36:25

to this.

Speaker 1: 36:28

I might be like a decade older, but they have all of the like good info on living a holistic life and organic and all that. Yeah, that's that's a great idea, giving them part of the homeschooling, being like, okay, let's practice today doing this. Um, yeah, and you know they're all ages, phases too. I know that when I was younger we all are kind of like because he's the one that has the younger sister, so a lot of them have.

Speaker 1: 36:58

There was like one family with five boys, so they're just kind of used to like all being in a muck together, and the other one there's two boys, so that dynamic is going to be different. My son has a sister four years younger, so he's kind of used to being the alpha and it's not. But he doesn't have to try to be the alpha, he just is because it's a little sister. So then when he goes into a situation where he's like, well, I want to be the alpha, but I have no idea how these kids aren't going to listen me he's gotta then switch his personality to be more of a beta, like, okay, let's go with the flow.

Speaker 2: 37:33

So, um, yeah, I can see that but I think that's the, I think that's the beautiful thing about just being human beings, because you know you have characteristics about who you are but really in different social situations you're different people, kind of all the time depending on the situation, and so this is just life that he's adapting socially to whatever situation he's going to be in. So question for you do you have a, do you have a group that you normally meet with as far as park playdates or whatever?

Speaker 1: 38:05

You know we have really taken this year to experiment with it all. So there was a co-op that we did in the fall that we were supposed to do again this spring, but it just wasn't like his jam and I wasn't loving the role I was put in for that particular thing and it was a long drive and getting up early and all that. So, um, there are a couple of different groups that we have experimented with as far as just like this one meets at the playgrounds on Tuesdays. Um, there were two different groups so they both met at the same time, same day a week. So it was like we experimented between the two, depending on where, what park they were at, um, and then generally, like they would have field trips with that as well. So if it was, you know, a field trip to the fire station during fire prevention month, that was something we made sure we did. And then there's just a group of families that live locally. So we'll just get together for play dates we try for once a week, and that's more the one that I'm talking about. That like he's great one-on-one or like one family on one family. It's the groups that he is insecure with himself in.

Speaker 1: 39:16

Part of that might be, because sometimes I just straight up tell him I'm like, oh my God, you annoy people, get out of their faces, which is there's probably a better way to do that. But you know, the five year old boy that's just in your face, in your face, in your face, and it's like he's like the Tasmanian devil running through the house. The other day you plowed into me, like literally like a bowling ball, into bowling pins. I was bruised on my rear end for so long he, like was play fighting with his grandmother, knocked her to ground.

Speaker 1: 39:47

I'm like, oh, like, you can't, you can't, and there's. I don't give them red dye 40. I try to give them healthy foods, water, sleep. I don't. This kid's just so rambunctious. So I mean there's a lot of factors that go into, like why he might be rejected from certain people, but it's all part of life. It's fun watching, though, and then kind of giving them a little bit of pointers. Or hey, when you do that, when you get in someone's face, they're probably not going to like it. So you're going to push them away as friends or you're going to get punched in the face back. I mean, it's just probably how it's going to go.

Speaker 2: 40:26

Yeah, and that's just part of learning and living, and developing that social cognition. And there's people who are adults, who never learned to interact properly with people, and so, with every little hiccup and every little conflict, just take it as a learning opportunity. Hey, what can we learn from this? You know you got punched in the face. Okay, maybe not do that again or know whatever it is.

Speaker 2: 40:51

But yeah and it, and it's hard to just remind yourself because, as parents, you know I've been in that boat where you just get word sick about your kids, like what are they going to be like when they grow up? And you know, um, are they going to be accepted, are they going to be normal? They're blah, blah, blah. So you just like have an ulcer and it's like it's not worth it. Just enjoy your kids for the time where they're at and you know, like you were not promised tomorrow. So just enjoy your kids for today and, um, do your best with what you have?

Speaker 1: 41:20

Oh, a hundred percent. And that is why I kind of, you know, I came from the working world where I sent him to daycare and, you know, did that whole thing and I, you know, covid really opened up my eyes about like the school system and how little say us parents have and actually what goes on when they're in those four walls. But then there's been many other reasons that I have wanted to homeschool as well. But, yeah, part of it is being that we are not promised tomorrow and you know, if you spend your days working in a cubicle and a job that you don't really like, and then you know your kids are at least if they're anything like me sitting in a classroom. I didn't like doing that either. So, all for what, you know, if you can have a different way to do it, why not give it a try?

Speaker 2: 42:12

Why not give it a try? And especially when they're young, cause I'm seeing with my boys who are 13 and 15 now that it's just biological they want less and less to do with me, they want to have their own life, which I think it would be weird if they wanted to hang out with me all the time. But I think it's just nature's way of preparing them to get kicked out of a nest and things like that. So while they're young and they still think you're cool and they want to hang out with you, then absolutely do it and cherish the time that you have with them. I know it's so cliche to say, but a couple of things I wanted to talk about is that I know there are days in homeschooling that it just seems so hard and you just want to throw in the towel and you're like this is not sustainable. So I just want to like, if anybody's listening, that's in that space right now.

Speaker 2: 43:05

I've been there so many times during the almost decade that I homeschooled and, um, if you are having a day like that, then I would just say cut your plans, like scrap your plans. Um, and just think like what can I do to connect with my kids, and maybe that's taken to a museum, maybe that's just stay on the couch and you guys watch movies that day. I don't know what that looks like for you. Um, but to do it, connect with people. If you're not connected. We're social creatures, we need to.

Speaker 2: 43:33

And if you're like, hey, nobody's asking me to do the thing, then you start the thing and you ask people, you start the book club, you start the park day, you start the club, whatever that is. Just do it and invite people and I promise you people will come. And I promise you people will come. And I know this because I've done multiple things. I've done nature groups, I've done hike groups, I've done beach groups and every time I've come I've had it Like loads of people show up when I thought like, oh, just one or two, like tons of people.

Speaker 2: 43:59

So you can create your own community, if you're not finding that, and get time away from your kids, like I know that we're with them all the time, but it's cliche. But create it on your schedule routine. If you're married, you're, you know your husband or whatever. Have him, take care of him, have your parents take care of him, if you can. But just schedule time so you're taking care of yourself, and if you can do that right, if you can do all those things, then you will find that you will have more energy to continue homeschooling and that it can be sustainable, so that you will have more energy to continue homeschooling and that it can be sustainable.

Speaker 1: 44:31

So I just wanted to add that, oh, that's so true, yeah, and I was thinking about I've been thinking of different things. I could start like things that when I thought about, like either living out in the country or homeschooling in itself, I was like, well, what do I have in my head? What preconceived notions would my kid be missing out on? And one of them was like my sister's kids would all play manhunt. They live in like a development and the kids would just go for like backyard, backyard, doing manhunt with each other. And I don't even know how to play manhunt, but like I'm sure I could Google it.

Speaker 1: 45:01

I get the idea You're running after each other, probably hiding and whatnot, but um, or a flag football type thing, and I'm like let's get that going here. You know it doesn't have to be in a development. We've got 14 acres here. So you know, as the kids, especially as they get a little older, it's like all right, you know, at every Friday night, even if it's the first Friday night of the month, people come over and play manhunt, you know, or flag football, and that's just a standing thing. This is what you're going to do. You know these are the times our house is open. Come on over. Parents can come hang out. If you want to drop them off, fine, you know, like set up something like that, and how fun would that be for them.

Speaker 2: 45:39

Yeah, absolutely, and keep it on a routine. Keep it on a schedule, like, no matter what, we're playing flag football the first Friday of the month, that's it. Come on over, have the parents come over. You want to bring a potluck? You can do that, or you want to bring snacks or whatever, and then you can create community. Because I promise you, cheryl, I promise you that there are other homeschool families out there that want community and they're just looking, they're just waiting for somebody to set it up and ask. So maybe you're that person.

Speaker 2: 46:06

So, I want to nudge you and encourage you and empower you to do it. I want black football to be at your house every Friday for the first Friday not every Friday, but the first Friday of the month starting in April. I want to see it. I want to see it happen.

Speaker 1: 46:21

Yes, and get that children's book published on my end too, just like you did. Well, yours isn't a children's book, yours is a legit book, right. Well, I mean, children's books are legit books too, but yes, I find that I learn much more from children's books these days than I ever did reading in my regular school.

Speaker 2: 46:42

Totally. I mean, they're just chock full of good information. But yeah, so you know, in my book it really is just a hope and a prayer to inspire people. I kind of go into the granular about how do you schedule your days and I can I go through and I deconstruct that and talk about setting your kids up for success, talk about how to have better homeschooling days, teaching beyond academics and really just trying to find peace in homeschooling. So there's a lot in there and again, it's just my hope that I would inspire people.

Speaker 1: 47:19

Where can people find your book and you Amazon, amazon. And did you self-publish and go that route? I did self-publish and go that route.

Speaker 2: 47:27

I did self-publish and um it was a long journey, yeah.

Speaker 1: 47:30

Yeah, I'm, that's what I'm doing right now, because it's like to go through getting an uh, what do they call it? Like a booking agent or publisher, but like even you need like the agent before you can even get the publisher if you're going to go that route, and it's like they want to know how many books you're going to be writing and this and that, and I was like whoa, this was just kind of a goal of mine. So I'm going to self-publish. But yeah, there's so many ways, even with the self-publishing, the KDP and the IngramSpark and the hardcover and ebook and softcover, and sometimes you can do a publishing company but still self-publish. I'm probably saying it wrong but like do on Amazon, but you're using a different publisher, so it's not actually KDP and you know, are you holding the inventory in your house or are you doing print on demand? It's like insane.

Speaker 1: 48:19

And then, like we were kind of saying before I hit record, the marketing that's way more than the book writing, the book itself, just marketing. Because it's like you constantly have to be reaching out to people. Hey, can I come on your podcast? Can I go to this convention? Can I, um, you know, make these posts and put them on right now, today actually, just before I hit you know uh record to come on here, I was like, all right, I'm going to tell people about my journey and I made a real or something like I don't even know if a reel is the appropriate thing to post for that Cause I'm not that into like I'm learning Instagram. So it's a journey and I have to say to myself okay, listen, this is a fun little endeavor for you, but you are doing this to be with your kids. So I get up at like 435 every day. So I try to get it done before they get up, but yeah, it's hard.

Speaker 2: 49:11

Dang 430.

Speaker 1: 49:13

Today was 430.

Speaker 2: 49:14

Five what time are you going to bed?

Speaker 1: 49:15

Well, I go to bed with my 19 month old because I still nurse her, so when she's tired it's like, okay, I'm going to bed too. I try to watch, you know, catch up on my podcast to listen to, or the High Wire, which is like my all-time favorite news source. The High Wire I'm like a walking billboard for it. Maybe someday they'll have me on their show. But the High Wire, del Bigtree, go to thehighwirecom or they're on Rumble or.

Speaker 1: 49:41

But anyway, he was a producer of the TV show the Doctors. He wanted to, you know, do an episode of a whistleblower from the CDC. They would not allow that to happen because of the funding that they got from, like the pharmaceuticals. So he left and started the High Wire and the show is just amazing. There's so much good information on there, from everything in the pharmaceutical industry to his one.

Speaker 1: 50:11

I just watched last night or tried to, as I was trying to stay awake with the baby while she was going to sleep about chemtrails, slash contrails and what they really are and what the airplanes like just the jet fuel in the airplanes have to do with our stratosphere and if they flew a little lower and, um, it's crazy. This, yeah, the good information just and and great part of homeschooling if you share watching that show with your kids, if they're old enough, um, even for you with your kids being in public school, a great show to watch, just, uh, once a week with your kids, because it's they break it down in a way that's actually understandable, so it's super cool. Yeah, I should get paid by that check it out.

Speaker 1: 50:55

Never heard of it yeah, yeah, I, I talk about it all the time and always share stuff from them on my Instagram and it's like people probably think I'm like an affiliate or get paid. I'm not. I just it like really, the show changed my life, opened my eyes to so much. Um, yeah, super cool. And they send you an email a couple days after they air it with all articles and studies to back up what they talked about, which. So they're like this is what the news should do. But yeah, super cool. Was there anything else that you wanted?

Speaker 2: 51:29

to like chat about before we have to let you go because, uh, the hour I told you it would run by so quick, so quick um, you know, I know I I I talked about this before, but I really just want to encourage people, um, to give homeschooling a shot if you are just thinking about it, and just to know that you can do it for a season and you're not going to mess up your kids. And please, please, please, just give yourself some grace in everything. Don't homeschool out of fear, homeschool out of love and just enjoy your life with your kids. Go to the park, go, do all the fun things and just enjoy this time that you have.

Speaker 1: 52:11

Oh, thank you. That's so beautiful, rachel. Thank you so much for being on the show today, for your insight, and I will put links to your book and where people can find you right in the show's description. So check Rachel out there. Cool. Thanks so much, appreciate it. Thank you for tuning into this week's episode of the homeschool how to. If you've enjoyed what you heard and you'd like to contribute to the show, please consider leaving a small tip using the link in my show's description or, if you'd rather, please use the link in the description to share this podcast with a friend or on your favorite homeschool group Facebook page. Any effort to help us keep the podcast going is greatly appreciated. Thank you for tuning in and for your love of the next generation.