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The Homeschool How To
I don't claim to know anything about homeschooling, so I set out on a journey to ask the people who do! Join me as I chat with homeschoolers to discuss; "why are people homeschooling," "what are all the ways people are using to homeschool today," and ultimately, "should I homeschool my kids?"
The Homeschool How To
#108: How a Single Mom Balances Work and Homeschooling: Cece's Insightful Journey
Have you ever wondered what it takes to embrace the homeschooling path, especially when it seems like an unconventional choice? Join Cheryl and her guest, Cece, a trailblazing homeschool mom, as they unravel the intricate journey of homeschooling three boys. Cece candidly shares her family's transition from a traditional private school to homeschooling, driven by her desire to address her son's educational needs and mental health without the pressure of formal diagnoses. Her heartfelt narrative reveals the challenges, adaptations, and ultimate triumphs of crafting a learning environment that honors each child's individuality.
Navigating the complexities of homeschooling doesn't stop at academics. Cheryl and Cece explore the myriad of challenges that homeschooling parents face, from supporting mental health to encouraging unique interests. Cece emphasizes the significance of understanding each child's learning style, advocating for resources like the Tuttle Twins curriculum, and the decision to bypass formal testing for conditions like ADD. Their conversation offers a comprehensive look at how homeschooling can foster personal growth and accountability, with Cece providing practical tips and inspiring stories about nurturing her children's passions and skills.
Balancing work and homeschooling is no easy feat, especially as a single parent. Cece opens up about her journey of managing these dual roles, highlighting the need for flexibility, creativity, and resilience. From setting unconventional learning schedules to preparing her teens for graduation with essential life skills, her experiences offer invaluable insights for parents seeking more control over their children's education. This episode promises to equip listeners with the knowledge and encouragement to embark on their own transformative homeschooling journey.
Get in touch with CeCe HERE
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What is the most important thing we can teach our kids?
HOW TO HANDLE AN EMERGENCY!
This could mean life or death in some cases!
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Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool How-To. I'm Cheryl and I invite you to join me on my quest to find out why are people homeschooling, how do you do it, how does it differ from region to region? And should I homeschool my kids? Stick with me as I interview homeschooling families across the country to unfold the answers to each of these questions week by week. Welcome, and with us today I have Cece. She has been homeschooling before. It was even cool, so I am really excited to hear her story today. Cece, welcome to the show. Thanks for being here hear her story today.
Speaker 2:Cece, welcome to the show. Thanks for being here, thank you. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm glad that I caught your thread on Facebook. When I did, I was very surprised to hear you contact me on something like this, so I'm really really happy to get with you on it.
Speaker 1:So why don't you begin by telling us how many kids you have and their ages?
Speaker 2:Okay, I have three boys homeschool mom for 14 years. I am 39. I know a lot of people wonder and think that I am a lot younger. I am 39. I am a divorced mom so I was married majority. I married at 19. And my oldest two are 16 months apart, 19 and 18. So I have one graduate homeschool, one graduating this year and I have a first grader and I am a serial entrepreneur currently. But when I started them and for majority of my first two I was home. I was a stay at home mom as I got started. So I have a big expansion to go in. Like you said before, it was cool Cause I definitely got the eyeballs then versus now the eyes are on me. I need help, you know.
Speaker 1:Yes, all right. So why don't we start with what even made you want to homeschool in the first place? Are you Amish?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I'm kidding, that's right. We were just talking about how that was kind of close in the year, so this was so if your oldest is 19,. This was about 14 years ago, so yeah, this was like pretty early on, way before COVID. Yes, what made you start wanting to homeschool?
Speaker 2:Way before COVID. So, being a stay-at-home mom, my free time was led up with them. They were going to a private school at church. So, with that being said, the church was moving vastly and expanding and they were changing some of the rules and regulations in which we agreed on. But they started changing some rules that I didn't agree on and, even though I'm not against getting your children checked for being on the spectrum, they wanted me to get my oldest son checked. They say he was not a problem child, he was on a roll student.
Speaker 2:But he had a teacher who was 21 and kept asking him to focus during courses and during class. She said he was just daydreaming. So I was like, okay, what's the problem? He's six. He was six at the time. So it started changing for the worse and I started getting little letters on his agenda quite frequently. It changed to every day and I think that the relationship started changing because I started seeing the change of his demeanor. Then it changed to the classroom and the school. So now there's a problem. And then the principal asked me to get him checked. Actually, he didn't ask me, he asked me forcibly I need you to get him checked and you have a month. I said excuse me. So now I see that there's a problem in the church and I just didn't know what happened over the course of just a few months over him just not focusing.
Speaker 1:Right, it wasn't like he was acting out hurting other kids.
Speaker 2:Interrupting, not even interrupting other kids during tests or anything. He's very quiet to himself. Actually, this is my ITT whiz kid. He built his computer from scratch. When I say motherboard, I don't even know all the terminology. I told him I could tell you how to produce your business, however, that I don't know how to speak that lingo, but he is very smart and entailed in the ITT field. So he's a whiz kid.
Speaker 2:He was just bored, so he's a self-teacher. He teaches himself things and I didn't find out until I pulled him and homeschooled him. So for that very reason I told him I'm not in agreement with it. We will continue to pay for the schooling for two more months. School will be done. I will be bringing home my children.
Speaker 2:So for the first two years I did see that it was very difficult, and that's what I teach a lot of people. When you're homeschooling the first year or two, it's going to be very prominent that you have much patience because you're becoming the teacher as well as the parent, and they have to understand that. So not only do you have to get acclimated to them, they have to get acclimated to you and you have to give it time if this is what you're really serious on doing, your whole world is going to change between the both of you. So when that happened, I did notice that it was hard for him to focus on certain things. But happened. I did notice that it was hard for him to focus on certain things, but as soon as I said, hey, he was on it.
Speaker 1:Okay, mom, I got you, so I was like okay, but I did realize that put him into a depression for three years. I had to pull him up out of Well, how old was he at this time when you took him out?
Speaker 2:He was six, six, okay, yeah, he was six. That's a very early age to I think. Well, that age is encountering way more today now I can say, but at that time that was a very early age to have depression and worry about people coming at you. So I had to do some very, very hard talks with him and keeping him close and he grew out of it and had an amazing senior year. I will say, if I speed it up, so I'm really happy that I put that work in and I was happy to take them in on my own because I am a teacher at heart. I teach a lot of things.
Speaker 1:Did you ever think, oh, let me put him in like just a different private school or the public school, like what made you say like, oh, I'm going to homeschool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to. My first inkling was you know what, let me switch them over to public school. But then I had this gut feeling oh my, oh, my goodness, if I have these ideologies and these similar pretenses of life with this church, how is it going to be for public school? Oh my gosh, like how are they going to do with him? And especially the depression that he was going through. So that bothered me. It kept pushing in on me, and both his grandmas are teachers too. So I talked to them and spoke with them and I just kept getting that notion homeschooling and it was so uncommon at that time. But I took the plunge and I was really really nervous, really really nervous.
Speaker 2:The education was no problem. I'm advanced in that area. It was like what do I do? How do I start? But the good thing is I had some courses underneath of me and I also know that they were able to switch from their course and do it underneath of me too, because they were on what was it called? I think it starts with an A. It was a long time ago, but it's an academy and you could even graduate with them through them. It was a Becca. They were underneath of a Becca at the time.
Speaker 1:So they were able to easily transition.
Speaker 2:That's pretty strict and rigid. Well, yeah, now back in the day, you can do that. Now we have so much technology and AI, I teach my third son completely different.
Speaker 1:There's nothing near that, and I love that you have that vast age group that you've been doing, because you have learned so much on the way.
Speaker 2:So we're going to unpack all that.
Speaker 1:Now you had a son that was a year younger than this son, right? And you said I'm going to just pull them both.
Speaker 2:Yes, I did pull them both. There was starting to be some bias and some other things going on with their hair and actually it is the same ethnicity as mine as far as the church, but there was some differences going on. I couldn't take one out and do the other and it still worked the same way when I did for them to keep them both together instead of having one out and one in. So the youngest the youngest. He was five, so it was OK.
Speaker 1:And you know, I think it's easy for you maybe going through it at the time to say, oh, maybe the depression was caused by taking him out of school and homeschooling him.
Speaker 1:But you know I'm looking at it kind of a different way that he would have gone through that depression anyway, but he was home with you and you were able to see it so you could have those conversations. I think there's a good chance the depression would have happened whether he was in the private school, the public school or homeschool. Yeah, just because sometimes it is a chemistry thing going on in our brain and the way that like puberty functions, and I think right now in schools they're taking advantage of that and that's where the do you think you might be the opposite gender here? Pfizer came up with a drug we could give you to fix that, you know. So I think that it's just so common. But the fact that he was home with you, you were able to see it and get him through that when you know, I don't think that the depression was caused by being home, like just not that I know anything about your family or your son, but I just think that, being home, you were able to see this.
Speaker 1:It was actually a gift that he was home with you.
Speaker 2:Yes, I didn't have as much distractions. If you want to say that, work can definitely cause that and now, being a serial entrepreneur, I can still catch those things. I can still see that, oh, I need to change my schedule, I need to spend more time in this area. I have done that over the years, especially when my oldest son was doing graduation. I had to change my schedule so that he would meet his meetings, that he can do his graduation dinner, so I could give him the whole year. And I tell you, because he was very, very much into himself and shunned away from people for a while, because of that experience he's very much introvert and I know that a lot of homeschool kids can be, but he was very much introvert because of the situation. He definitely remembers it. But he did allow me. I coached him for two years for his senior year, to do his, his photos, his senior photos, because he wouldn't even let me take pictures.
Speaker 1:So he let me take pictures of him.
Speaker 2:He gave me smiles like I could see him blossom and through his senior year I just like listen, we're never going to get this year back. This will be a memory and you'll get fragments. This will be a memory and you'll get fragments, but with pictures and videos, you'll start to remember many things versus trying to remember it from your mind as you become an adult. So don't take that from you, don't take that from me, and I want you to have this. So I made it very memorable for him. Although we're homeschooling doesn't mean we can't have the experience. I feel like it's all about the parents, initiation and how to give to that child, because we're guiding them through it all and preparing them for adulthood, you know. So he gave me and himself a very good experience and at the end he hugged me, said thank you, thank you so much for all you did, and I was like, yes, ok, we met the criteria.
Speaker 1:When it comes to teaching my kids, I choose the Tuttle Twins curriculum because it's not just for them. I'm learning so much right alongside them. What I love is how engaging it is for kids. They take real world concepts and weave them into stories that kids can actually understand and relate to. Whether it's US history, critical thinking or even the Tuttle Twins Guide to True Conspiracies, it's all presented in a way that sticks.
Speaker 1:I especially love learning about government, because I never learned this stuff in school how the government is supposed to work versus how it actually works and it's so cool that I get to have these conversations with my son about it and he gets it. They've got books for toddlers, a fantastic series for ages five through 11, and so much more. They even have a Tuttle Twins Academy. I can't wait to get started on that, because they have classes for business and entrepreneurship. You can get 40% off select items using code Cheryl40. That's C-H-E-R-Y-L-4-0. Just grab the link in the show's description and start learning together as a family. Trust me, you'll love what you're gonna learn, because they never taught this to you in school. Trust me, you'll love what you're going to learn because they never taught this to you in school. If I can ask you this now, why didn't you want him tested to see if there was something? I mean now you can like. I can look at my son and I'm like, OK, he's got ADD.
Speaker 1:Like if my kid were in a classroom, they'd be telling me he needs meds. So is it that you you know some people might listen to it and be like, oh, she's in denial. If he doesn't want his picture taken, clearly something's off. Or is it just that you wanted to be able to let him thrive in the environment that was suitable for him, Because in the end, he's very good at computers, building things, paying attention to detail, teaching himself. He learns a different way than what the traditional classroom provides.
Speaker 2:Yes, and that's what I have found out concerning my children, concerning kids period, I can also say because my mom has daycare management as well as running her own daycare in the past, she has nursing underneath her belt some similar things that runs in my family that at eight years old I was basically a teacher assistant. So I was out here giving and helping and showing other children and teaching them, or I should say, I should say I started from the womb with my youngest sister, who's two years younger than me, so with my son I realized it was like you say it was nothing crazy going on. I'm like, okay, we have a problem here, what's going on? And I just had the inkling just to let me pull them out, let me see what's going on for myself before I move any further. But I just did not feel to let someone bully me to tell me, hey, but we never, they never said hey, ms Harris, can we sit down and have a meeting? Can I show you these reports? It was never that.
Speaker 2:So I think it was just the way that it was done for me to say, okay, you know, if anything's going to taint my children, it's going to be me. I want the best for them. Let me sit down and see what's going on here, because I will say that today is way more prominent. You know, everyone has issues. There's big and small ones. Let's see it through. And that's even hard for the parents to do, because parents are having issues too with what we're facing with society. So a long time ago it was more peaceful, there wasn't so much drama and it was. Let me be one-on-one with my children and let me see what's going on hand before I move forward.
Speaker 1:So as the kids kind of got older and you started getting used to homeschooling, you were a couple of years in, say, at this point did you stick with a Becca? Did you try something different?
Speaker 2:Well, I definitely tried other things. I believe they did a Becca for about another three, about three years roughly give or take. By the time they got to middle school I realized they were getting bored. So I switched to K-12. Because we moved to Georgia, I switched to K-12 and realized I did not like it.
Speaker 2:My motto is, if you're a homeschool parent, that your children should not fail. Your children should not linger Not that they don't have issues, but I feel like it's easier to it should be easier to focus on their issues. You know their assets, what they're great at versus what they're weak at, guide them, map it out for the year. You can create your own schedule to figure out how to successfully get your child through that year. That's what I feel. If your child is failing, it might not be for you, and I'm not saying the first year, if this is an ongoing thing, then you guys might not have just the chemistry to work together, depending on what's going on, and that's okay.
Speaker 2:But I realized that with K-12, there's another teacher and there was something I physically helped my son on during science and she gave him like a D and I couldn't understand why she gave him a D and I spoke to her and she still said that he was getting this D. That's when I was like, oh no, okay, sorry, we can't do this, because I guided him through the book. He did it on his own. Then I did it with him and then, if someone else is telling me that this is it, I was like, no, I can't do that.
Speaker 1:So is K-12 like an online school? So is K-12 like an online school?
Speaker 2:So K-12, when I was in Georgia, you were able to meet up and do activities. However, it was online. It was book work and online. So it wasn't too much online, not like the teacher was teaching online. It was like here's your assignments and you had teachers to. I guess reference to that's where the problem was, because I'm still teaching at home and then it's not like this was the definite answer in this book that gives the answers. You know the key books. It wasn't anything like that there was just it was kind of a limbo, you know, like almost like a theory, like hey, if the shower has all this heat, why does the shower curtain sink in type of thing? Has all this heat? Why does the shower curtain sink in type of thing? I was like, oh wait wait, wait.
Speaker 2:Trying to talk it over and he still got that grade that didn't settle with me. So yeah, I remember sociology being like that in college.
Speaker 1:I remember like walking out of tests thinking I got everything right, every single thing Like it all made sense to me. And I kept putting a 70 on it and I'm like, no, I could fight, I could like argue why I'm right, but it's not how the teacher saw it.
Speaker 2:Right, right, and I think that that is very important as a teacher to be able to see the different ways that people can see something. If that answer there's plenty of answers that are broad, dependent on the subject, and then you have certain subjects that there's a definite answer and there are keys for that, you know. So I did not agree with K-12. I do refer that program to people who their children have already been in school and they want to homeschool due to whatever with the systems concerning all the stuff the schools are going through currently, for their health and well-being or for their mental stability. I definitely refer K-12 for that reason, but I tell them it's just because it's adjustment and I don't suggest you fully homeschool unless you're ready. So there's other key elements, but that is a good one if you're taking them out of a public school, I feel.
Speaker 1:Okay. So how did your second son do with the homeschooling throughout the years? Did you do group meetups for like to get friends or sports, you know, because the socialization is such a big fear mongering tactic to scare people away from homeschooling.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I definitely have a story with that. My second son. He did really good when he got between 10 and 12. He did bug me on going and transitioning to public school. I think it was because I had a friend who her children were in public school and they, you know, they hung out. So he bugged me and then I got so busy with my business I was really contemplating on switching them to public school, and the more that I kept teaching them and getting them ready for school, the more I was like, oh, my goodness, they're not going to be able to do it, because how I'm teaching them to think for themselves, to ask questions, do this, and that I'm like, oh, the teachers are going to raise havoc. It might be at least one that's going to be like oh, why are you questioning me?
Speaker 1:The teachers will think that they're being sarcastic or facetious me.
Speaker 2:The teachers will think that they're being sarcastic or facetious. Yes, I have a younger brother. That's what happened to him with his history teacher because he is very, he holds his head up high and he was like questioning this is the answer in the book blah blah, blah, blah blah. And the teacher tried to fail him. My mom had to go to the school and really work things out with them to say why is this a problem? So I was teaching them about lockers and this and that and dealing with different people and I just realized I'm going to have to teach them all over again. And then, when they get there and how they come back, I was like you know what, nevermind, I'm going to work this out. So he, after those two years, he got over it very quickly and he actually was excited to. You know, be like mom, I'm glad I'm staying home.
Speaker 1:Cause he was never actually sent him.
Speaker 2:I never did, I never sent them. It was a thought, it was a conversation. We spoke about it and I think he, the more we spoke about it, then he started getting nervous. But I will say, concerning events and groups, there wasn't so much at that time. For a long time I would do things that I could try to find here and there libraries, stuff like that but about five to seven years I started getting them out more because then I was becoming a community activist and really pushing out in the community.
Speaker 2:So they've done fashion shows and one of them ended up after that fashion show. I pushed them on purpose. I said, hey, do this fashion show because I was working the fashion show. I said you will never have to do it again. So the oldest introvert one, he did it, enjoyed it and he was like no, the next time I said, okay, the second one really liked it and he did. He became a model and actually last year he walked New York Fashion Week. So yeah, and I worked that show with him as well. He was the first to be picked from this particular designer and he did some do. He did some acting too on YouTube. So but he's paused on those things. Now he's preparing and steadfast on his focus for senior year, so I don't know if he's gonna pick it back up.
Speaker 2:But he had a good long run with modeling and he did some um, oh, he was on DC DC News too. So yeah, we made some very big accolades with him on that one. So they've done a lot of things community work I get them involved. I have plenty of clients who are involved in many things up and down the road, so, including the youngest, he's not scared to talk, he talks business with me. My notion I tell people is as active as you're gonna get them is as active they will be unless it's already in them like their characteristic. But if you don't, then they will be. Unless it's already in them like their characteristic. But if you don't, then they will be very introverted because you're only allotting what they can do, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So what about your youngest now? So he's the same age as my son. They're both six. So how do you do it differently with this? What have you learned?
Speaker 2:Man. So I've learned that he has as much energy as I do. I am. I'm everywhere and so is he.
Speaker 2:I realized when he was a baby that I was gonna have to keep him in sports, keep him acclimated. So once a year I'll put him in a season of something. He was in soccer last year, did amazing it was a natural actually. He was in soccer last year, did amazing it wasn't natural actually. So I was like, okay, I'm glad I caught that and we walk out and he's talking to people. So I just know he's going to do something with big business and with money. He's very in tune to it. But I do. I have to keep him going. He does not shut off until bedtime. He does not. It's completely different. But because part of his studies, I realized that it's the opposite and I think that's a lot of children today. He is not a sit down book person. He just became that way literally a couple of weeks ago. I can now do workbooks with him.
Speaker 2:Hooked on, phonics was boring to him. I had to cancel the app, but I got him on something new. That's new for me too. It's Sofa Tutor, and that is a really good app for young kids. It keeps him going. They have games, they have reading. There's different things to keep him notioning, emotioning and getting awards, changing his profile picture. It's very entertaining, so that was very fun for him. That's something that we've been doing and still going. Good for us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've jumped around with a couple different curriculums and like even yeah, I was talking on one of my episodes that we are doing Boy Scouts now and it's funny because when you surround yourself with other kids that are in public school and your kid isn't and has never been, it is hilarious when they say, okay, line up, and your kid has no idea what the heck that means and then you know these kids are all reading already. They held up like a board with the Boy Scout law or whatever pledge on it.
Speaker 1:These kids are all reading it and my. The only reason why I'm comfortable with the fact that he's not reading on his own yet is because I've interviewed homeschooling families for two years now, because if I hadn't done that I'd be like, oh my God, I'm failing. I got to put him back in school, but I know that it's okay, his brain will get there and he loves other things like, like you said, go and, go and go, and he's always with his father.
Speaker 1:He knows everything about vehicles. He drives a truck. It's snowing here today in New York. He got on a plow. He got on his own tractor. It's his great grandfather's. He got on the tractor. They put a plow on it for Christmas and he's plowing. My husband's not even home, wasn't even home from work yet, and here's the six-year-old plowing our driveway. So I'm like you know what it's okay if he's not reading, it is okay.
Speaker 2:It is okay. It's just a time frame. It will happen.
Speaker 2:I had to adjust to my third child out of three of them. Two of them had a speech impediment. The first one, which is my middle son, it was just the S's and R's, but the last one, it is strong and it comes from their father's side of the family. So I had to guide and coach and for the longest time he would get so frustrated because no one can understand what he's saying and I tell him, slow down. But he's doing way better now. But he does read, but he's not full-blown reading and, like you said, it's just all in the schedule every day. I know he's going to get it. He's came a long way, just like your son, own way, just like your son. But there's other great things that they're getting as well. It's all in timeframe. But you know, public school is just like this and we're kind of like this and we move with our children and how and what, who, what, when, where, why, you know it's. It's a different instinct, but it's okay, I agree.
Speaker 1:Thinking about homeschooling but not sure where to start, or maybe you're already on the journey and want more guidance. Join the Homeschool How-To Community. You'll get exclusive access to live interviews with me and my guests where you get to ask questions, plus monthly Q&A sessions with homeschooling experts. You'll also get my full curriculum series where I chat one-on-one with homeschoolers to find the specifics about each curriculum all to help you find the right fit for you and your family. And don't miss my comprehensive course breaking down everything I've learned from interviewing over 100 homeschooling families on my podcast, complete with an easy-to-follow roadmap. Ready to make homeschooling easier? Sign up today using the link in my show's description.
Speaker 1:You know I'm glad that you mentioned the speech impediment because I never talk about that. But my son did too, and you know I would notice. And we have friends in our homeschooling group where actually two different moms were speech teachers and you know both of them have left that to homeschool their kids. But you know both of them have left that to homeschool their kids. But you know they kind of brought it to my attention that hey, you know, just so you know he has.
Speaker 1:I forget the verbiage for it now, but they said to me you know, you, you pay taxes for the school you are entitled to get him evaluated at the school and get speech therapy and if they don't want him in the school because he doesn't have, you know, if he's not up to date on vaccinations or whatever, they're required to come to your house because you pay the taxes. So that is something I didn't know. I only happened to know from them. So I did get him evaluated, but you know I they were. I mean, it was a fight to get him evaluated. Like they were like well, can you understand him? Yeah, well then it's probably fine. And you know my friend would say no, I can hear a lateral lisp, I think is what it was that she called a lateral lisp. So my friend gave me some ideas, exercises to do with them, and YouTube gave me exercises to do with them. So we just did those every day.
Speaker 1:It took maybe five 10 minutes and yeah, it did probably take a year but he fixed the Z sound. I had it all written down the ch, the z, the st, the tr, all that stuff and there's just little things you can do, like putting a little ball on the floor and then have them blow through a straw, you know, to go down. There's just little things you can do to strengthen those muscles that. I don't want parents to feel like oh, my kid needs therapy for speech.
Speaker 1:So therefore I have to send them to school, because one the school needs to pay for that, for you anyway, or? Two you still can do it yourself if you don't want to involve them it's possible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's nice. That is perfect. Using youtube, I call it youtube university it.
Speaker 2:It has everything on it. Not everybody is right, of course, but I correct him. Some people, I notice, when they hear their child speak, they kind of baby it If you say um, panny Cake. I used to say Panny Cake as a little girl and did not know why people were laughing at me and because they thought it was funny. Sisters, cousins, my mom and I'm like what's wrong? I think I was probably seven and it's pancake. But no one said Noah's pancake.
Speaker 2:So with him, I corrected his STs. We will, you know, I'll do the hand, we will say it every time. Fix it. And my mom she would say if he would say his brother's name, she would copy him and it would be like some a v or something like that. That was said wrong. I said no, don't allow him to say it the wrong way, we just keep staying on it. So now when he says, oh, because it just snowed. Oh, there's no outside, no, there's snow outside, he has to say it like that um, there's snow. And I said okay, but this, but the no, no, there's snow. Thank you, you know. So it's just like my memory.
Speaker 2:Like you said, practicing the muscles, it is an ongoing thing but it eventually takes care of itself. Maybe I feel like 85, 90 percent of the time. My um middle son. I don't have to correct him, I didn't have to do this as long with him, but the reason my last son is going through this is because he didn't keep a pacifier but once he got to his sippy cup he kept the sippy cup in his mouth, just kept it on his teeth and between his teeth and tongue it was like a security blanket and he gets so mad and he would use that just to calm him down.
Speaker 2:And at four I had to four years old I had to take that away from him and throw it in trash and say it's gone. I don't know where it went and I had to just practice with him to teach him how to calm himself down and get a different kind of security blanket. He has stuffed animals and stuff like that now but because of that I was like, oh, what did I do? No other kid had to do it, but I have to keep practicing his speech with him and keep practicing so those other tools that when we let our kids just suck on things it does mess with the speech. Very bad, very, very bad.
Speaker 1:That's interesting. You would think that the sucking would actually help the speech, because you're almost using the muscles when you're sucking on something. So you would think that the muscles would be stronger.
Speaker 2:Well, you would think so, but I feel like it elongated his tongue and then it also did something to his teeth between the teeth and tongue, so they're not really coming together. It was a bad habit, like the opposite way. So it's getting strong in the opposite way versus doing what it. So it's getting strong in the opposite way versus doing what it's supposed to and him speaking. So it delayed him in like, say, a year, like like he's a year behind in his speech.
Speaker 1:You know I could tell what other kids and now so with him, so with sports, you knew right away this kid's this kid is so he needs to be out there doing competitive things, social things. Yes, do you think like, oh, I should have done that more with my older kids, or is their personality just so different? I just want to ease people's fears around the socialization thing, that it doesn't have to be like 85 sports all year long.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, no. So I have clients who their children in sports all year. Oh my gosh, I give my hat off to soccer moms. I can't If I'm going to do sports with my children, which I know I'm going to have to do with him, we will not be traveling up and down the road. I don't have that type of schedule to do that. You know, to always be in another city, in another state, that is a lot, but I don't down whatever is meant to be for the child and if you have the time and the go and the notion which a lot of people do, go for it's a once in a lifetime. I just know that I can't. Concerning my schedule, I have clients on the books two, three months out. So I definitely pinpoint my schedule to accommodate my children. I will literally write in my schedule book a year in advance for our vacations, for our holidays and when the season will be when I could do something for him.
Speaker 2:I have noticed a lot of things. My older two are very laid back, very relaxed, and don't ask for anything. I literally have to push them out. Hey, what do you want to do? You know, go do this, go, do that versus the other one, one. I'm saying calm down, wait your turn, not yet you already did it. Hold on, you know. So it is so, so different.
Speaker 2:But, um, today has so many different things. Just to kind of put your kids out there, you know, and you can pace it some kids more quicker and more often than some kids not. You know, know we have different things going on. And then you also have where you can, like you said, get with the school and allow them to play sports, if so, you know, and be involved in with other kids. There's community things with the library. There's so much more. Out here you have Facebook that will show you what's going on in the cities near you, up and down the road. So there's so much to do and so much to learn for these kids. It doesn't matter what level they're on, introvert or not, you know.
Speaker 1:Now I want to ask you I guess they would be two separate questions because I get a lot of people that say to me oh, I'd love to homeschool but I can't because I'm a single mom, or I'd love to homeschool but I can't because I'm a working mom. You have both of these, so let's break it up. The single mom. At some point you and their father split. You said yes. So what was your thought? Oh, I might need to put them into school so I can make this work. No, not at all, actually, how?
Speaker 2:did you do it. So it happened pretty fast. I was already the one homeschooling them. He was working, so that was something that was already on my plate. So that was a no brainer in my transitioning and becoming a single parent. I just had to readjust some things. I had to sit down with my schedule. But I come to find out, when it comes down to my schedule as a working mom, as a single mom, that I do this on the yearly and seasonally. I kid you not. I feel like if you are a busy person, this is something that you should be doing often Every two to three months. I'm sure something's switching up for you. So I would just readjust.
Speaker 2:I literally I think when I became a single mom I was working probably five, six days a week, depending. But I know when COVID happened I was not working. I was off for about two and a half, three months and then, because I'm a beautician, I do nails and I do other things in the community weddings and stuff like that. But I had other things to make money as well and by the time I went back to work, I started off part-time to see what was going on. I did not go back full-time with clients. I started part-time to get my children adjusted, to get myself adjusted, and then I was able to take on and even by now I'm working like three and a half four days.
Speaker 1:So the older two, they were probably. Were they old enough to stay home, Like if mom had to go to work it was fine, but you do have your youngest son. How did you make that work? Like you know, do you have family or the father. That would help out.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So my well, we were not on good terms in divorce and he was not happy with that. So, unfortunately. But I did have family help me with the youngest. The other two they was able to do their studies no problem by this time. They need minimal help and they're strictly online, so that worked out perfectly.
Speaker 2:So, family, I did have help with the little one and then, as the boys were old enough, between family and then their brothers, and then sometimes coming over to work. So we just, you know, did what we could. It's a very small niche for me, I know, not everybody has that. And then there's some people who have a whole lot of family. I did not have a whole lot of family to help, it was just my mom and my two boys, but by the time they were old enough, they're like mom, we got them.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm like, are you sure? And he wasn't doing school at that time. He could literally just play, you know, do X, y and Z. But by the time school came and people were like how are you going to do that? I'm like so unconventional about everything that I do. So in between their home, relaxing, my mom stays with me. Now, you know, if it's not grandma, it's the brothers. You know, we're all taking turns and, like I said, I have a shorter schedule now, but literally sometimes we're doing school at night, sometimes it's on the weekends, sometimes it's in the mornings, depending what days that I'm off, or even after work. I will still do school with him. I have a criteria set for the year. This is how much we have left. I keep checking it and I have to just say, hey, this is my goal for the week. And even he'll remind me hey, mom, are we doing laptop time today or are we doing workbook time today?
Speaker 1:You know, so we have our little unconventional rhythm.
Speaker 2:It's all on what you want to do. As a single mom and as a working mom, I know society can be very tiresome now, but if you don't have the drive for it then you might have to readjust your schedule to make sure that your children get what they need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard. I left my job to homeschool the kids but because I started the podcast when I was on maternity leave with my littlest and that was like well, I started it not intending for it to be like you know this like business type thing, I was just genuinely curious about homeschooling families. I hadn't decided yet if I was going to homeschool but I knew I wasn't happy with what I was hearing about the school system.
Speaker 1:I wasn't even happy with what was going on in my son's private preschool, which was at a church, and he would tell me that even though I wrote a note into them saying I don't want hand sanitizer on him, they were doing it anyway and it's like how are you just putting a product of chemicals on his hands?
Speaker 1:and the best part too. They would say okay, every parent has to take turns bringing in a snack for snack day. Please don't bring anything homemade, please bring healthy things like goldfish. So you, I can't make homemade muffins, but I can bring goldfish with whatever chemicals are in the like a three four age group and he was four he was the oldest, but there are three year olds in it that the next year they went to the public school for a full day preschool, just because it was basically full time daycare paid for by your taxes. But it is there.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, that's why I started the podcast was can I really homeschool? And let me hear other people's thoughts on it and their process. And then now it kind of has turned into like all right, well, I have to run the Instagram page, I have to run this for, so I try to get it done in the morning, but you find like right now we're interviewing at night because it was just better for your schedule and it's no big deal because my husband's home with them, but it's like trying to be flexible, and so you have this element of okay, I want to have a routine for my kids, but at the same time, that's just not how our life is. You have to be flexible.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I think that's teaching them something too. You know about about being a worker, and you know about about being a worker and you know just doing what you have to get done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everything, good or bad, teaches your children everything you know. Why not guide and direct them the best that you can and what you're acclimated to? But one thing they will always know from me is that we will always be okay and that this is how you do do this and this is how you do that. I remember, I think, the first maybe two years. They're like Mom. Every time something reminds me of something. Oh, by the way, it's a teaching moment, mom, we're not doing school Actually. Yes, every day, all day, is school. I'm just going to let you know now. If I see something and there is a lesson in it, I'm going to let you know. To let you know now. If I see something and there is a lesson in it, I'm gonna let you know. So now they know.
Speaker 2:You know it took a while, but they're like okay, yes, ma'am all right you know, and I actually was cleaning my closet the other day and came across a card and my boys were just saying thank you so much, even when you think we're not listening to everything you taught us. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and I was like wow, wow, it pays off. You know, you have the right notions to say, hey, life is crazy. But if you just you can't predict how you're going to move, but you will be okay if you have X, y and Z, if you could teach that. But if you could teach what you can to them, you know, or guide them to even other people, that can give more nuggets to whatever you haven't had, cause I didn't have a lot growing up, but now I have so much for them.
Speaker 1:You know, and I think about that a lot too, like about my childhood, and you know, like. Oh, I didn't have this, I didn't have that, but it all made me who I am today to be able to change things for my kids. And then I'm like, well, if I give them too easy of childhood, they're not going to learn anything.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to be a little hard on them. I can't make it too, too easy.
Speaker 1:Hey everyone, this is Cheryl. I want to thank you so much for checking out the podcast. I'm going to keep this short and sweet because I know your time is valuable. I want to ask you a serious question Do your kids know what to do to actually save their life in an emergency? The most important thing we can talk to our kids about is knowing their first and last name, knowing mom and dad's first and last name, mom's phone number, dad's phone number, their address, what to do if they get lost, what to do if someone who's watching them has a heart attack, a stroke, an accident where they fall and your child needs to get help.
Speaker 1:We live in a world where there's no landline phones anymore, basically, and cell phones lock. Does your child know how to call 911 from a locked cell phone? It is absolutely possible, and my book demonstrates how to do that, whether it's an Android, whether it's an iPhone and, most importantly, it starts the conversation, because I was going through homeschooling curriculum with my kids, realizing that, gee, maybe they skim over this stuff, but they don't get into depth, so my child's not going to remember this should an accident occur, right? I asked a couple of teachers what they do in school and they said they really don't do anything either other than talk about what to do in a fire during the month of october fire prevention month. So I wrote a book because this is near and dear to my heart.
Speaker 1:I have had multiple friends that have lost kids in tragedies, and I don't want to see it happen again if it doesn't have to. We were at the fair over the summer, and the first thing I said to my son when we walked through that gate was what's my first and last name, what is your first and last name and what is my phone number? And if you get lost, what are you going to do? You can get my book on Amazon, and I will put the link in my show's description. Again, it's called let's Talk Emergencies, and I really hope you'll check it out, because there's just no need to be scared when you can choose prepared. I love what you said, though, about the mistakes. You learn in those too, and like perfect example, I mean mistakes that I make. Yes, I try to say like if I am frustrated and I just yell and blow up the kid and scream at him or tell him I'm sending you to school.
Speaker 1:You know me 10 minutes or an hour or even the next day saying to them hey, you know when mommy blew up the other day and like yelled at you guys, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. That wasn't the right reaction. You know, doing that teaches them that we can apologize.
Speaker 1:We can you know, acknowledge that we were wrong and that really is good for them in the long run, even for himself. He was doing a little like you can get from Amazon the little STEM robot things, and they put the robot together and he couldn't figure out why it wasn't running. And as my husband's looking at it, he's like, ah, dude, you put like the brackets on the wrong way, the very first step they're going the wrong way. And he's like so mad at himself Right and.
Speaker 1:I'm like well, listen, buddy, you learned from that. Like now, next time you're going to be so much more careful, even from step one, when it looks so easy We've all done that.
Speaker 2:Can you talk to me?
Speaker 1:a little bit about and this would go into your reporting requirements in Virginia but also getting them to graduation Like what does that look like? What constitutes a diploma in your state, how is it obtained and are they really like ready for the next step, whether that be college or not? I don't really push college anymore now that I know the reality of it and the real reason behind it.
Speaker 1:But sometimes you do need it for whatever the kid wants to go into. So how did you, as you're preparing them in their later teenage years, to go into? So how did you, as you're preparing them in their later teenage years, making sure that they are ready for the next step? And what legally did you have to get done on paper to make sure that they are quote unquote graduated?
Speaker 2:Well, it's pretty simple and it's a little tedious in certain areas, depending. Concerning college, I did observe my children growing up on what they are capable of and what direction they may be going in. We have spoken on it all through high school, so my first two are not going to a college which hints their moms into trade as well. You know, I'm a speaker, I am a content creator, I'm a master nail technician, I have my own salon, so I know how to make money with my hands and what I do and, stepping out, I'm doing a brow course next month before Valentine's and that day, with seven women, I'll be making like $300, you know.
Speaker 1:Don't look at mine, don't look too closely over here.
Speaker 2:No, that's okay, overplucked in my teenage years, that's okay, I'm just teaching them a natural beat and a glam beat. In between your makeup artists, you know, when you're doing events and stuff, I have clients that are all through the government and what I consider office work and you know different careers, so they're always looking good for their events and stuff like that. So I'm always teaching people on how to build their business what they're good at with their hands. So my oldest hands down, like I said, it's been into computers. I am pushing him.
Speaker 2:He's currently doing certificates and right before paying for these certificates to get him into some companies. I was actually really blessed to get them for free. I had a client contact me, connect me with a company who was doing some courses and then he can get in with that company and security clearance for working with them. So he's currently working on that. Still. And my second one he said he wants to go into trade HVAC and start like that. As I told him, when you move state to state, whatever you do, you need to be making money with how today is Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what my husband does.
Speaker 2:He does commercial HVAC which isn is something that they really teach kids about.
Speaker 1:They kind of just think of it as like installing in someone's attic. But my husband works on jails, hospitals, schools.
Speaker 2:Nice, he will always have work. Yes, he will always have work, because businesses and homes.
Speaker 1:It involves everything electrical plumbing so like your welding. He knows it all.
Speaker 2:But yet it's belittled.
Speaker 1:So in the school system that like oh, you're going to crawl in an attic and put in someone's pipe. It's so much more than that.
Speaker 2:I tell you, if your pipe breaks, you're going to be in need and you're going to be hurt. Yeah, that's big money. So, yes, my second one wants to do something as simple as that and not as simple. It involves a lot, um, but there's still more things. I tell them just to constantly study and build and acclimate yourself with.
Speaker 2:But concerning the next steps in graduation now, because they don't have to do that the next steps, I take that back because they're not going to college per se. They they're doing courses when you go to college and when you're preparing. They're part of an outreach. We're part of an outreach. Who? They were able to be able to walk down an aisle and graduate with other homeschoolers. So they had a ceremony and they are also given a diploma. They had pictures done. That was when I was saying that. They had graduation dinner, they had a graduation cruise, they had prom, they had different things. So I could give them the experience and not try to build everything from scratch on my own, because I'll definitely do that, but it's easier, it helps. So I was happy to see that this particular outreach. They've done chess, they've done drama, they've done sign language. It is a very nice.
Speaker 2:So what I say is to involve yourself with a program near or far, because some people do go all the way to Florida for a BECA for graduation. Get with an outreach so that you can obtain your diploma. But you do have to be signed up with your state and reporting to the state and keep in contact with them that, hey, they're graduating this year. You're meeting the criteria for the basics. I know Virginia has the basics of the four math, english, science and social studies is the basics and that you just have to turn in every year that they are doing this work. You're turning in your work. That's for me.
Speaker 2:I don't do the SATs and stuff. I opt out because a lot of kids and a lot of people have test anxiety. I believe in. I did nursing, I did college courses in high school and for the life of me I knew the criteria but kept getting answers wrong. But I did notice that the answers would be flipped. They ask you the same question but they're asking for a different answer. There was a different amount of things. So the SATs do the same. So I was an advanced diploma in high school and knowing that, okay, there's some test anxiety. They're just going up and down and they're like playing games with you. It's different if it was just, like you know, just written out. So I knew that I didn't want them to be based off of that.
Speaker 2:And now, if you're doing college, please, all means, you're going to need all of that, you know. And also, if you are acclimated with the homeschool programs that are connected to the public school systems, it will be easier because you're already on that path. We have had an unconventional path. It is kind of straight from scratch. So you want to do the SATs, you want to do all the testings, they do not give the diploma. They recognize it but they do not give the diplomas. So as long as you're connected to a program, as long as you're saying, hey, I have this program, this is my county and my state, I have my paperwork, you just got to stay on top of keeping your everything together for your transcripts, diploma with the outreach and the school. This is the school district that we're in in the county and you can go ahead because this outreach that we're part of there is students going to college and they go early too.
Speaker 2:Some of them graduate early and go. So it's all on what path you're on, you can do it.
Speaker 1:You can definitely do it homeschooling and what your requirements are, and I believe they will. If you, maybe if you're a member, they cause that stuff is all free, but if you're a member, they might give you a diploma as well, as long as you've done everything that you needed to do as far as reporting to your district. Yeah, I did hear that.
Speaker 1:Right and yeah, and I've had people on the podcast saying that they had their kids taking college courses as part of their homeschooling and they're a lot cheaper when you take it as a high schooler. Oh, nice, so they actually got these courses like under their belt, so that by the time they went to college they were already a year or two in. So they didn't have to pay that heavy tuition for that the first year or two. So there are a lot of options.
Speaker 1:I'm hoping to get something together where I can, like you know, make it easy for people to see, no matter what age your kids are and it keeps changing.
Speaker 2:I do notice that each year it keeps changing. We get more and more. You know like we have more to do. You know more to involve. But I will say, if your child, once your child, gets in eighth and ninth grade, please start looking into those things. You know what that looks like for you, the direction y'all might be possibly going, so that you can be able to get everything lined up the way you would like to get it lined up as much as possible.
Speaker 1:You know it just helps. You kind of get a general idea. So as we close up, is there any like parting words? You wanted people to be left with or anything you wanted to let them know that you're working on.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I want to first say keep going, don't stop, unless it's definitely not for you. If you've been in five years and you're just not having any kind of love, just don't down your kid, don't down you. The path could not possibly be for you, but for most people. There's a lot of change happening for the homeschoolers and it's a lot of good things going on. So just, there's so much information out At the same time. There's so much information out at the same time. There's not. There's way more information out now and this is an amazing tool I'm so happy to be part of and what you're doing. This is amazing and kudos to you for that. So I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. But I go Vibe with C and I'm all things for elevating your mind and your soul, and you can catch me on YouTube. Vibe with C, that's C-E, and Facebook as well is CC Harris, and it has in parentheses one nail fetish. But I am just a content creator pushing out to show people things with business life, being a mom, a boy mom. And my motto is you're never stuck, so I'm happy to be here. I like that motto. Thank you.
Speaker 1:There's always something changing. Yeah, it is. That's awesome, Cece. Thank you so much for being here today and sharing with us your awesome story.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy to be here. Thank you so much for happening to run past me on Facebook that day. I saw it and I just thought I would throw something your way and you came back and contacted me and I was like, wow, she's for real, okay.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad you did. Yes, yes, thank you so much, bye-bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning into this week's episode of the homeschool how to. If you've enjoyed what you heard and you'd like to contribute to the show, please consider leaving a small tip using the link in my show's description. Or, if you'd rather, please use the link in the description to share this podcast with a friend or on your favorite homeschool group Facebook page. Any effort to help us keep the podcast going is greatly appreciated. Thank you for tuning in and for your love of the next generation.