The Homeschool How To
I don't claim to know anything about homeschooling, so I set out on a journey to ask the people who do! Join me as I chat with homeschoolers to discuss; "why are people homeschooling," "what are all the ways people are using to homeschool today," and ultimately, "should I homeschool my kids?"
The Homeschool How To
#141: Homeschooling High Schoolers: A 12-Year Journey from Kindergarten to Senior Year
Ready to see what homeschooling looks like from kindergarten through 12th grade? In this episode, Cheryl interviews CJ, a veteran homeschool mom who's been teaching her three kids at home for over 12 years and is now preparing for her first graduation!
In this episode, you'll discover:
- How to transition from elementary to high school homeschooling with confidence
- Creating transcripts and meeting college requirements without state mandates
- The truth about high school workload and time management
- Finding socialization opportunities through Facebook groups and local resources
- Teaching multiple kids at different grade levels simultaneously
- Career exploration beyond traditional college paths
- Choosing curriculum that fits each child's unique learning style
- Building strong parent-teen relationships during the high school years
- Managing mom guilt and setting realistic expectations
Perfect for:
- Parents considering homeschooling
- Homeschoolers with elementary-aged kids wondering about the future
- Families approaching middle and high school years
- Anyone seeking encouragement from a seasoned homeschool parent
CJ shares practical advice on everything from daily schedules to milestone moments, proving that homeschooling through high school is not only possible but incredibly rewarding. Whether you're just starting out or navigating the teenage years, this conversation offers hope, practical tips, and the reminder to give yourself grace.
Connect with CJ: YouTube & Instagram: @HomeschoolingThroughHighSchool
The Homeschool How To Complete Starter Guide - Thinking about homeschooling but don't know where to start? Cheryl created this comprehensive guide which compiles insights from her interviews with over 120 homeschooling families across the country. From navigating state laws to finding your style to working while homeschooling- this eBook covers it all. Stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling confident. Purchase Here!
Let's Talk, Emergencies!
The most important lessons we can teach our kids aren't reading, writing, and math - they're how to keep themselves and others safe. Cheryl created this essential children's book which covers everything from dialing 911 on a locked cell phone to staying safe online, water safety, fire safety, and more. Let's Talk Emergencies! gives children the knowledge and confidence to handle real-world situations. These are conversations we shouldn't put off. Available on Amazon
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Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool How-To. I'm Cheryl and I invite you to join me on my quest to find out why people are homeschooling? How do you do it? How does it differ from region to region? And should I homeschool my kids? Stick with me as I interview homeschooling families across the country to unfold the answers to each of these questions week by week. Welcome. And with me today, I have CJ, who I've had on my curriculum podcast before, but now she's here for the main spotlight. CJ, welcome. Hello, thank you for having me. I'm so glad to get to touch base with you because I don't often get to, you know, follow up with people and see how things are still going. And your story is awesome because you've been homeschooling for years. You're like, you've got the teens, you've got the yes, kind of the finished product, so that you can give us that like relaxation that it's all gonna be okay. You're not gonna mess them up forever.
Speaker:No, no, not at all. Not at all, not at all. So, how old are your kids? How many do you have? All right, so I have a ninth grader, she is 14, I have a 10th grader, and she is uh she'll be 16 next month. And then my 12th grader, my senior, is 17 and a half. Oh my goodness. And how long have you been homeschooling? Uh since my oldest, since my senior was in kindergarten, so this whole time. Yeah, so wow, a long time. Years and years.
Speaker 1:So what made you what made you decide to homeschool in the first place? Because it wasn't as popular as it is today. Did you ever think?
Speaker:Yeah, so it began to become very popular when I started. Maybe not in the state that I was living in, but it was it was becoming popular. And I just noticed that there were a lot of different issues and things that were coming up in the elementary years that I did not want my son at the time to be exposed to. And I was also with child at that particular time and thought, wow, you know, what are we gonna do about this? So chatted with my husband who was homeschooled, but I told him I would never do this ever. So don't even think about it. And just chatting with him and said, you know what? Let's give kindergarten a chance, right? Because I truly feel that anyone, if they just put their mind to it, right, and get a little bit of guidance, they can start with kindergarten and first grade, those younger years, and they'll be alright. And so I said, Okay, fine, we'll start with that. And we just really wanted to share our morals and our values and to be the voice in our kids' life. And so we started out with kindergarten and first grade and second, and it just kept going.
Speaker 1:And then as you had more, you were like, I can't can't send them away at this point. We're having too much fun. Were there times were there times throughout the years that you had talked about sending them to school or that the kids expressed that they wanted to go to school?
Speaker:Well, let me just jump back a moment because there was another reason that I want to attach to this that we decided to homeschool, and that was not only were there issues in curriculum and with just the laws and all that stuff of what was being brought into the schools, but there was just a lot of a lot of issues from other people's households that were coming into the schools, and this is where we began to see, unfortunately, just a lot of misbehavior and uh things of that nature that kids would bring with them and then um lash out their behavior inside of school. So that was another thing that was a little was on our hesitation list, and as a result of that, through elementary and middle school, we didn't really have anybody who said, Let me just can we reconsider this? Can we, you know, go into a public school setting, Christian school setting, micro school, whatever. None of the kids really mentioned that. They have been very happy homeschooling. There have been times where we've had, I wouldn't say that they haven't had socialization, that's not it, because they've had plenty. And as a homeschooling mom, especially now, socialization just kind of comes naturally as you go along. So they've had plenty of that, but they wanted um uh activities that went along with later in your middle school or high school life, and so and each child is different. I have one that could care less, and then my other two, they want just some of those other social activities, and sometimes that's hard to find. So, as far as asking about going back to school or going and visiting a brick and mortar, no, but I have had where they'd want to just be involved in the additional high school activities and things like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And were there any like local soccer or martial arts or musical theater, anything like that that you could join? I'm not sure if you live in kind of a spaced-out area where that's not easily accessible.
Speaker:Yes, so thanks for touching on that because I utilize personally, I utilize Facebook for homeschooling groups, local homeschooling groups. And I've lived in three states so far, and wherever I moved, I would just kind of type in, let's see, let me let me pick a county that nobody will find me, right? Let me pick a county. So Love County. I would type in Love County Homeschooling Group, right? And I would see what would pop up and from there I would get connected. And once you get that initial connection, it just kind of keeps rolling. Oh, you homeschool? You know, it just goes back and forth and let me share this and let me share that. So through that avenue, I have been able to find homeschooling dances and homeschooling sports teams and local theaters that uh homeschoolers are welcome to, gymnastic classes, and and some of these are open to the public, right? It's just not specifically for homeschoolers, but just open to the public, or even classes at local high schools, whether that is a private school, a Christian school, a public school, technical school, so even classes that homeschoolers would be privy to. I have found many avenues just by searching it that way, and also getting in touch with whatever, not an umbrella, but a lot of states have a main homeschooling corporation of sorts, and getting in contact with that corporation, and then they list everything by county and by state, or excuse me, by county and by region and the west side of your state, the east side of your state, and that sort of thing. So that has been a great, both of them have been a great tool to get myself connected with other moms and also my kids.
Speaker 1:And that's a great point because even the Facebook pages, they let you know that maybe, you know, you could take a regular class with the public, but the facility, like the gymnastics or whatever martial arts, might be offering just homeschool day once a month. You know, I know there's a roller skating rink that does a homeschool day once a month, and there's a place that's like, what do they call it? It's like it's like rock climbing and all that stuff. It's got a fun name, but they offer homeschool day once a month. So it's like for a discounted rate, you go and there's all these homeschoolers there from your area. So that is also a great place to meet, meet people, do a fun activity, and even see what other groups just have meetups. Like we we belong to a couple, like you said, you go to the local Facebook page for your county, your area, and oh well, this this one meets at parks on Tuesdays, or you know, you can try it. Maybe you don't bond with anyone, your kid doesn't like anyone, the ages don't match up, and you know, try a different one. And you know, that's happened to me too, where you go to one for a couple years and you're like kind of grown out of this. And it's just nice that you have all of these options. And Facebook, even though I don't want to give Mark Zuckerberg too much credit, this is great for that. I agree.
Speaker:Right. And and I was careful there to mention it. It's a I mean, that is really the only reason why I use it, is because of the homeschooling resources that I find. Uh, it has been priceless from day one when I started kindergarten.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we talked about curriculum when you came on my curriculum episode, and I love that. I still remember it. The seven sisters that you talked about, and they have like a career exploration program. And I just love that idea so much, and it just you you I'll let you talk about it.
Speaker:Okay, so that seven sisters career exploration um curriculum, and it's almost like a unit study. You can make it as long as short as you'd like, and it walks you through so many little steps to help your teen navigate, find out what it is that they may or may not want to do, and it opens up their mind to a lot of different things that maybe they didn't think about that goes past college, by the way. So, in other words, you don't have to just think about okay, I have to do the SATs, the ACTs, I need to do the LSAT and every other ATT or whatever test there is because I have to get to college. No, there's a big world out there with so many other avenues. And so the Seven Sisters Career Exploration Curriculum, or I'll call it a unit study, it walks your teen through that and it's it's pretty fun. I I did it myself. It's it's interesting, and um, it just starts out by you know asking you just some basic generic questions on not necessarily what you might think you want to do, but what are your interests and your hobbies? Almost a little mini aptitude test to find out your strengths and your weaknesses and to highlight your strengths and then point you into a direction of what a career could look like for you. And do you go to trade school for that? Do you go to technical school for that? Do you go to college? Do you get a two-year degree? Do you not go to school at all? Right? Because not everybody is going to go to college. We know this to be true this day, and not everybody is cut out to go to college. Right. And so this unit study of sorts is just a handy tool for your teen, and it's not burdensome and it's not dreary. It just gets straight to the point, starts with your strengths and your weaknesses, and gives you other things to think about.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I that was always my thing in school. I was like, well, I don't know how am I supposed to pick a career while I'm in high school for what I'm gonna go to college for and spend God knows how much money on this degree for this job when I don't know all the jobs that exist. Nobody's given me a list of jobs that exist in the world. And it's funny because nowadays, with technology moving so fast, even if you gave kids a list today, by the time they graduated in four years, the careers would be different because there was no podcast host back then or the AI that's coming in, or you know, it's just so changing that it's it's very hard. How do you prepare your kids for that?
Speaker:Yeah, so what I have learned, and I learned this when my oldest was in seventh grade, and then the next child was in sixth grade, and the next one was in fifth grade, I realized that I could not teach them all the same way because they were different, and I was trying to teach them all the same way, and it wasn't gonna work out at all. I couldn't have continued on. So when that light bulb came into my mind and my life and my homeschool space, I then realized that I need to teach them differently, and what is that gonna look like long term? And so I began to find curriculum for them as an individual. Yes, it took me all through the elementary years to figure that out. And you know what? That's okay. That's alright. Once I started to look for curriculum for each child as an individual, based off of how they learn, one is more of a visual learner like myself, whereas another one is just, you know, buy the book, strict, give me the book, I will read every single page and every word. I don't need to skim through because that's you know a rule follower type of thing. And my other child, she's kind of in between. Once I figured that out, then I started to think of the end in my that I need to set them up for success based off of how they think and how they operate individually. And so ever since then, I have, even with life skills, even with responsibilities around the home, I have just catered it to them because that's why I'm here as a mom, is to make sure that I am catering to my kids so that I can set them up for success. I am not trying to do everything for them. That's not what I mean by catering. I am just making sure that I'm not doing it my way, but I'm gonna do everything possible to set them up for success. So let me take my 12th grader for example. He loves all things technology. So before the school year would begin, once I figured that out for him, it was a seventh grade, then I would sit down with him and show him what I thought would be a good lineup for curriculum, and we would look at everything, and then I would listen to his feedback. Now, of course, you know, as the parent and as the homeschool mom teacher, there were a few things that I would say, okay, we're going to do that no matter what. What about these others? And the one that I said we're gonna do no matter what, we can tweak it so that it works for you, right? And then from there, we would look at electives that my my oldest was interested in, and I would show him different curriculum and have him choose and this, that, the other, and we've been doing that ever since. And I just make sure that everything aligns with my state's requirements, and I just make sure that it is something of interest for each of my kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's hard to do when you have different subjects that you have to meet for the school requirements if you're in one of those states and you want to keep it interesting, and so you're trying to research curriculum and how much time, like what did your day-to-day look like? You know, were you sitting with all three at once? Did were they able to do some independent work so you could give some one-on-one attention to the kids? Are you able to work on, you know, your own stuff? Do you work? How what did your day look like? How would you like me to enter that for middle school or high school? I guess let's start from the beginning, like you know, more younger, more middle school, and then you can kind of say what's changed as it's gotten older. Give us some hope. Of course.
Speaker:In middle school, I continued to do a lot of hand holding because uh each each of my kids needed that hand holding, with the exception of one. And that's the one that I would say that I mentioned earlier was um just give me the book, I'll read every page. I'm a rule follower. Not saying that my other kids aren't a rule follower, it's just that my my 10th, my current 10th grader, is just um just more has been more independent from the time she was born.
Speaker 1:Thinking about homeschooling but don't know where to start? Well, I've interviewed a few people on the topic. Actually, 120 interviews at this point with homeschooling families from across the country and the world. And what I've done is I've packed everything I've learned into an ebook called The Homeschool How to Complete Starter Guide. From navigating your state's laws to finding your homeschooling style, from working while homeschooling to supporting kids with special needs. This guide covers it all with real stories from real families who've walked this path. I've taken the best insights, the best resources, and put them all into this guide. Stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling confident. Get your copy of the Homeschool How To complete starter guide today and discover that homeschooling isn't just about education. It's about getting what you want out of each day, not what somebody else wants out of you. You can grab the link to this ebook in the show's description or head on over to the homeschoolhowto.com.
Speaker:And so it's just natural for her to just hand a book to her and she's done within an hour. You know, it's it's just it's a natural groove for her. And so in the 10th, excuse me, in the middle school years, I just continued to hand hold and I would sit with them and we would do our family subjects and then they had individual work. And in the middle school years, I just also made it a point to try to make whatever subject I could as independent as possible because I knew that high school was coming and they needed to learn independence at some point, and learning independence, at least in my eyes, in the 11th grade, is just a tad too late. Like full, it's just a tad too late. And so they needed just to be just have a little bit more independence as each year went by. And so we would wake up in the morning, we had a schedule, we would wake up in the morning, we're all dressed, we're ready to go, and we would have our family time or our family subjects in the morning, and most of those subjects were history, science, our Bible time, some readers from the morning basket, and we would complete all of those things, and then I would assign their work using Google Classroom. By the way, I found that to be a very useful source, and also a clipboard with um what each student was doing, and I would cross things off as I checked them. But we would go through our morning time together, and then from there I would have them sit in their favorite spot or whatever learning corner that they liked, right? And then they would start some of their independent work, and I would just monitor and walk around, and when they needed help, I was just there, I was just constantly just there. I turned off my cell phone, I didn't let that interrupt me. We didn't have um a TV on or any of those things, and we were pretty just on task, on task. And for my current 10th grader that I was mentioning, she would tend to just want to get all of her work done in no breaks. Whereas my other two, they just liked breaks and they liked snacks and they like to talk and boy, those good days, I tell you. And and that was okay. I realized that was okay, and I let it be okay because that was their personality. They needed they needed mini breaks all over the place. And once they got those mini breaks and I stopped trying to control those mini breaks, everything was a lot smoother. And so we would have um some days they would be done at noon, some days they'd be done at two, some days they'd be done at you know eleven. For the most part, we would start around nine. So just to give you uh an example there, we'd start around nine, some people would be done at eleven, two, it would vary. But for the most part, I would say on an average, we would be done by 11 or 12 with everything in those middle school years. Um, in the high school, once it got to eighth grade, and we'll say ninth grade, things ramped up a little bit more and uh the days got a little longer. And I know that there are many homeschool families that keep to uh a tighter three or four hour schedule, but my my kids just aren't so, and that's alright. Like I said, I have two that have they like to have a fun time chatting, and that's okay. And then I have one that I mean she she's just on it and she's done. She wants to get everything done, and then she relaxes. The high school years are interesting because there is a lot of heavier work, hardier work that is involved, and I feel as if there are more things to register and digest so that you can make sure that you understand. And I let's see, I'm thinking of math right now, right? And so we get into the algebra one, algebra two, geometry, pre-calculus, and those type of subjects. And if you really want to master the that's okay, if you really want to master it, it might cause you, like it does sometimes my kids, it might cause you an hour of okay, I can't get this, I can't get this, and then you take two hours off and then you come back.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Isn't that such a luxury to have that time to do that? Let your brain rest and come back to it.
Speaker:Yep. And so just depending on uh let's just take my oldest, because that's the best example I I have right now. Ninth grade was I was nervous, I was anxious, he was nervous, he was anxious. And those first few months, they were challenging because you're just trying to make sure you do all the high school things right, only to come to find out that you're not really doing anything different than what you did in elementary and middle school. The only thing that you're doing different that you're adding on is your record keeping looks different because it's called a transcript. Okay. And the books cost more. Like, seriously, that's pretty much it. That's pretty much the biggest difference. Subjects are hardier. I mean, you still have to, you still have a certain element of I need to master the concept in the middle school years and all that. You still have that. It just might take a little bit longer, depending on your child in high school. But ninth grade, once I figured that part out, and that was about four months in, we're not doing anything really differently here, right? I'm still walking beside. I'm still hand holding, right? I'm gonna start loosening up more, but I'm still hand holding to make sure that I'm not just kicking them off to the wayside. My record keeping is now called a transcript. I still need to make sure that they are on task and being accountable and paying attention, and I'm not just gonna say, Oh, you're in high school now, figure it out. Not gonna do that. And then we move into 10th grade, and things are rocking and rolling because we got through the ninth grade year and all of the jitters, right? And 10th grade I feel was actually more difficult for myself and uh my 10th grader at the time. Uh, I thought it was more difficult for him because ninth grade is kind of a cushion of sorts, and if you get that, not that if you get it wrong, but it's it's a cushion because you're repeating or you're reviewing, excuse me, a lot of things that you learned in the eighth grade. Tieding in, it does now matter on a transcript of sorts. 10th grader, excuse me, in 10th grade, if you outsource it or or if you have a co-op class or something like that, the instructors are expecting you to know what you're doing. You're not in ninth grade anymore, you're in tenth grade now, you know? So that's only if you outsource it. And I also think with myself, when I was teaching some of the subjects for my son who was a 10th grader at the time, I now expected more out of him. So in 10th grade, you kind of expect more out of your child because you're like, okay, listen, we're in high school now, let's let's figure this out. You're not kind of babying them anymore. 11th grade was good because it just seemed to flow because now we're in our flowing season. But you think to yourself, wait a minute, I gotta get this transcript together. Next year is called graduation. What do we need to do? So in the 11th grade, things were smoother, but now you're in that mode of, okay, we're getting to the end, but we're not there yet. I still have some time. And in the 11th grade, we did a lot of um, is there anything we need to clean up? Is there anything that we need to repeat? Is there anything that you know you're truly interested in that we can add as an elective? Or do you want to do more science or math because you're going into the field of technology? Like, what what is it? Let's ch talk about that more. You kind of turn into a guidance counselor very quickly around 10 and 11.
Speaker 1:Do you have the liberty to pick and choose? Like I talked to some families that are like, we do Latin, and I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, I never be doing Latin. I mean, I also said I'd never homeschool, so who knows? Maybe I'll be speaking Latin in 10 years. But um, you know, when you is there something that says these are all the things that you have to do? And I know that like I'm in the state of New York, it says, you know, you have to test every year in high school. Um, so there's obviously some things that they have to know. But like you also mentioned, oh, you're into science and technology. What more can we add? Where you can go on and pick and choose from like the place that you get your curriculum or maybe a college course. And how did you do that? How do you know that you're doing enough?
Speaker:Perfect question. Thank you. When I started, I didn't know how to do this. When I when I jumped into the middle school years, I figured I had to figure this out. So, what I did, and what I encourage others who ask, is this the first thing I did was, and let me put a little disclaimer here. Depending on where you are, the state may lay it all out for you. You have to do A, B, C, E, F, G. There's no wiggle room. So start with your state's requirements for homeschoolers, whatever that looks like. That's the first part. I don't have any requirements, so that's cool. However, I had to think to myself, my son may go to college. My son, that's he's in the 12th grade. He might go to college, he might not. And if he doesn't, and that's not his path, that's okay. However, I am I personally, my husband and I, we're gonna set him up as if he might go to college so that he already has the check marks and we don't have to backtrack. And if he doesn't, then he's already set up good to go. So, how do we do that? Two things. I looked at the local public schools and I saw what their requirements were for high school. A lot of um high schools they just have it on their website, and so I looked at the requirements and they said four years of English and four years of, you know, this specific math, and you need your state history and this, this, that, the other. The second thing I did was I looked at a local community college and college to see what they are requiring of homeschoolers. Many, many, many, many colleges have that on their website these days because of 2020, what happened in 2020. That's good to know. I took, yeah, I took those two areas, so the local high school, the public high school, and I also looked at local private schools, and it was all in one the same because you're if you're in a private school or a public school, you need the graduation requirements according to the state in order to graduate. And so I looked at that for the local school, we'll say that, and then I looked at a local college, and like I said, a lot of them have a um, you can just type in homeschool at the University of New York, right? And then you can see what pops up for the requirements. And then I printed that out and I did a compare and contrast, and then from there, since my state that I live in doesn't have any requirements, I said, okay, this is what we're gonna do, this is what we're not gonna do, this is what we're gonna do, this is what we're not gonna do. And that's how I came up with making sure that my son would have enough. And we're following suit for my other two kids as well. And so we had a lot of liberty in choosing classes that were miscellaneous courses that were not on the local um public school requirements or the college requirements because where I live, I don't have any requirements. But I just made sure if it said 22 credits, high school credits to graduate, I made sure that my son had 30 or whatever it is, 27 or more, just as a little cushion.
Speaker 1:Okay, nice. Yeah, I a lot of people have young kids now getting into this, so it's really enlightening, informative for us to kind of have that long-term picture. And I that's kind of what I've learned to tell people to have a long-term goal in mind, even if they're little, even if they're seven, six years old. Like, are you prepping for college? Obviously, that's gonna look I think it'll look so different in 10 years when my child is ready to go. I think college admissions are gonna be way down because people are going to realize, oh, I actually don't need the degree. I don't have to spend $200,000 to, you know, own my own business or, you know, whatever it is that work in technology, even um, a lot of it will probably be hands-on apprenticeships, which would be awesome. I guess not for the colleges for us or the people in student loans. So, okay. Now, did you have to leave a job in order to decide to homeschool? Because that was a big thing for me. I quit a government job and I thought I was like crazy. I'm like, oh my God, who walks away from a pension? But now that I've been out of a cubicle and living with my kids in the outdoors and learning actual real stuff and not just pushing emails around, I'm like, I can't believe I sat in a cubicle for 16 years. What's crazy?
Speaker:So, how did that look for you? My journey was a little different. When I married my husband, I was on a corporate ladder. And hence why I said, I am not homeschooling, just don't even bother. Kudos to you. Good for you that you were homeschooled, but I'm not doing it. And so I was already on a corporate ladder just doing my thing. Unfortunately, I became ill with my asthma, and so I before I even thought about homeschooling, I had to stop working. And so that's my story is a little different on that end. Anyway, I'm doing fine now, and so my work involves just homeschooling these three high schoolers. That is a it's a lot. I'm a coach, I'm a guidance counselor, I'm whatever you want to say. Um, it it is not that it's a lot of work, you have to think through a lot of things just to make sure that they are getting where they need to be. And so I've done a lot of research. I'm a researcher, I mean, so yeah, so my work just looks a little different now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't get the three breaks a day or maybe the paycheck with the time off, but it's worth it.
Speaker:And that's okay. Yeah, that's okay. And you know, it's a it's an emotional, it's an emotional package these days. Lots of my Milestones. So to the audience that you have with the younger kids, right? Um, and you are going through all of these milestones. I am going through the same. You will repeat these milestones just with your ones right now. Older. And what do I mean by that? Just about, let's see, just about an hour ago, my son returned from driving from work. So he started a job about two months ago. So that's a milestone. And today was his first day driving to work on his own. That's a milestone. Those are just just big things, you know, that come about. Um, so happy for him, very, very proud. So you go through the driving school and you you just go through all of these different little things, different little milestones. So, to your younger audience, something I posted on my Instagram today is that in the blink of an eye, all of what you're going through, those hard days, the days when you think you are not going to get through, like there were so many, and I mean so many days, especially in the elementary years. I don't know what was happening in the most elementary years. I was like, I'm done. I am done. Somebody come get these kids. I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. And I'm so happy that I continued on. I'm so happy that there were people that I could reach out to to just send me a hug through a text or just say, Oh no, you've got this, CJ. You're gonna do fine. Or somebody to encourage me and say, hey, just take a break. Let them watch Mickey Mouse. Just be done. You know, be done for the day. It's fine. You have three kids close in age. They're gonna be fine if you don't teach them about the ladybug and the bees and the flowers, and they're gonna be okay. Just take a break. You, mom, you need a break. Turn the TV on, be done. Or have them read a book of color. Yeah. And all of those milestones that they overcame when they were younger now just look different. And I'm grasping on to all of them, and I still have people speak into my life and tell me that it's going to be okay. So, to all of your the younger parents that are listening, just try your best. I know how hard it is. I know. Try your best to enjoy whatever moments you can and give yourself as much grace as you possibly can. You are doing a fine job. Even when you think you're not, you are doing a fine job.
Speaker 1:That is so wonderful to hear. You know, you are so right because And if you ask for it, like you say, you know, give me a sign, you know, please to the higher power up there to God. Is this where I'm supposed to be? And you know, you'll get an answer. And it's funny because yeah, there are I I was talking to a friend the other day. I'm like, I have just l such little patience. She was talking about how much patience she has, and I'm like, I am so envious because I just didn't grow up in that environment. When I was a child, my parents had zero patience for me. I'm very high-strung people, and I'm trying with my kids. Like like we'll be sitting in traffic and you know, we'll see the ambulance up ahead. And I'm like, okay, what my mother would have done is scream not there, these effings. But I was like, let's take this opportunity to say, hey kids, let's say a prayer for whoever's in that car, and let's thank God that it's not us, right? Like, there's a reason that we had to run back in the house and try to like really say, but then other days they're just at each other's throats. And I'm like, yo, people don't listen to me until I scream. That's more days than not. And you're right, because sometimes I just we'll turn the TV on and I feel guilty. And then I'm like, you know what? I'm a human being though. Like, this, if this is the worst thing that happened to them today, that they watch blippy, then it's okay. They're safe, they're loved, they're fed, they're going to bed in clean, you know, beds tonight in a good home. So, like, yeah, you're winning.
Speaker:And let let me add this because there was so much mom guilt in those elementary years. So, to your um, your parents that are in that stage, elementary and middle school. Now, personally, I just I've shut the noise, so I'm good to go. If somebody doesn't like what you're doing, you gotta move on. You have to do whatever you need to do for your sanity and for your children, your family in the homeschooling world. You've gotta do whatever you need to do to get to the next day. There were some days that I would just say, you know what? We're gonna stop this activity. Let's go to the park. That is a whole learning experience right there. That is a whole learning experience. Trust me when I say that.
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Speaker:And even in the middle school years, I did the same thing. Let's go for a walk. We we need a break. We all mom needs a break. I need a break. I need a break. Let's go for a walk. There was a couple of times that we went and got ice cream in the middle of the day. There have been times where I just said, you know what? We're just gonna close this book. We'll continue tomorrow. You guys can go ahead and work on things quietly. Let me know if you need anything. Parents, let me tell you this. The minute that you can turn off the noise, that you can disconnect from social media and what people are saying and criticizing you. Unfortunately, sometimes it's family members or your neighbor or what have you as well. As soon as you can give yourself grace and know that you are doing a fine job, and whatever you're choosing to do is best for your family, it will be smoother sailing from there on out. Trust me on that. I learned that just a tad too late. Yeah. And I wish I would have believed that a little earlier.
Speaker 1:And just like anything else, if they don't know about it because they've never researched homeschooling, of course they're going to have all the negative connotations around it because you just hear what the social media or like, you know, that one episode of a show they saw when they were a kid with the weird homeschool on it. You know, and that they put that stuff out there in TV anyway on purpose because they don't want people homeschooling. So of course they're gonna make them look weird. But, you know, or they knew one homeschooler that was weird when they were a kid, but yeah, they don't think about all the kids in their class that were weird. But yes, if you don't research it, you don't know. And that's the same with anything else, you know, whether it's um how you treat your cancer or you know, God forbid that never happens. But like, you know, I I went down a whole rabbit hole just looking into that one day and I was like, oh my goodness. Well, maybe so it's like, unless you actually take the time to research, you're gonna have that opinion. So that's why your family, your friends have it. And they also probably have a little bit of what's the word, not jealousy, but like, well, maybe I wasn't as good of a parent because I sent my kids to school. I didn't think otherwise. So maybe their insecurity and their own decisions is coming out and how they're treating you about that too. So we gotta try to keep all that in mind. And I I had a friend call me last night for that exact thing. She said, I can't even hang out with my family anymore. They tell me my kids are misbehaved and they need to be in school. And she was all upset. And I said, You know what? They're they're five and seven-year-old boys, so they're just rambunctious. And she's like, I need to have something in my back pocket to just be able to say to them. So I spent all morning coming up with things and I put it on my Instagram account too, which I'll have to sh I'll have to follow you. I don't think I do. And we'll put that in the show's description if you want people to follow your Instagram account and your YouTube. But yeah, I spent all this time putting together like the benefits and you know, even all the way to I was looking up the psychology behind active shooter drills because every kid has to experience that now. And it's like, okay, just because the school shooting didn't happen to your child, they had to go through these drills from a very young age. And what's the trauma that the drills themselves have? And I was shocked to find that there are studies that show there's like 40% higher rates of anxiety and stress, and you know, it it's a lot of a lot of things that, you know, I I was researching and posted on up to the food that's served in school and what that's doing to the kids because there's you know free and reduced lunch for pretty much every child now because they don't want to have that, you know, oh, point the kid out that's getting the free lunch so everybody gets free lunch. So if I pack my kid with all organic, healthy foods, they're gonna be like, bro, this and the garbage, it's pizza day. Right. You know, right. What are some of the benefits that you've seen from homeschooling since your kids grew up in the heart of the technology and social media? I I'll say more social media, because technology, that's not necessarily the problem. The social media in school went from I went from I was in college when Facebook came out in 2002 or so 2003, and now it's everybody has a cell phone, everyone I mean, do you s what do you allow your kids to have or not have? And what have you seen in the equivalent, like their peers that do go to school?
Speaker:Oh boy. So my kids don't have social media. Yeah, yeah, they just don't have social media, it's just something that we've chosen not to do. Last week, um, this asked for one portion of social media, so we're chatting about that and what that means, and um that makes sense, right? He's 17, he's almost 18, 19, 20, 21, and he just has been so respectful in not asking about social media. So little by little, he's asking about this or that, and we're exploring it together. So you asked me about one of the benefits of what I've seen with my kids growing up in the social media world or just being at home homeschooled. And one of the things is that we can have these conversations, ongoing conversations about what social media does to young people, and why we feel at this moment it might not be the best idea for you. And so we've just had those type of conversations as they come up here and there and everywhere. And then, like I said, last week my son inquired about a social media platform, and so we're discussing that and what does that look like, the why behind it. So I may not be the best person to chat about social media in teens. Um, the research is out there for all to see a lot of the damage that it does. There were a couple of instances that we were using social media um together, and I was monitoring it, and this was for I can't even recall, this was in 10th grade what it was for. But anyway, I was monitoring it as a parent of someone who just exited ninth grade and now is entering 10th grade, and it was a it was a group. It was a group of people from a history class or something, and they were continuing on. Anyway, and that just went sour really. Philly, something so innocent. Even with the parents in that particular social media platform, it went sour. It was bad very, very quickly. People being rude to each other. It went from rude to it just, yeah, it was bad. I will, I will not repeat. It was bad. And and parents were in there. Parents were in this, and so it was a great test of and here's the thing. Here is the thing. There were three or four of the kids, one of my kids being one of them, that was trying to turn the narrative. You guys, this is not the way to do this. This is not right. And um, it still just went sour. And so, yeah, we we talked through. Even with the homeschooled kids, geez. Yeah, I I mean it it happens, and I'm gonna, yeah, it happens, unfortunately. And that's why it's important for you to surround your homeschool life and space with people who are gonna be encouraging and uplifting to you from the parents all the way down, and to encourage your kids to do the same. I'm not saying that you cannot be friends with people who are not homeschoolers because for the longest time I thought that way myself. I didn't think I could have friends outside of the homeschooling community, and some of my best friends to this day don't homeschool, and that's fine. I I am here to say that that is just fine, and we can, you know, be civil to one another and we can hang out and encourage one another. And I myself and and my kids, we went to one of our friends' volleyball games and supported him at his school. Uh, I f I feel that that is just fine. But even in the homeschooling community, you have to be careful who you listen to, you have to be careful who you follow, and you just want to make wise decisions and make sure that you are teaching your kids to do the same. And you have a lot of opportunity to do so because they are home with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, even in the homeschooling community, I've definitely seen where we hang out with one group and like, okay, there's that kid that really, you know, sticks out and ha having like a bully, a very aggressive bully situation, you know. So, okay, well, I don't and you gotta kind of is this something that that kid's just learning through, or is this an innate behavior, something going on in the home, kind of like you mentioned in the beginning with the the classroom? Right. Something going on in the home that, you know, so do we want to be a part of that? And and then even with another group that we currently hang with, you know, in the beginning when we were the new people and my son was the youngest, and it's like they've already established their friendships. And of course, he was, I wouldn't go so far as calling it bullying, because I think ever people call everything bullying these days. Whenever anyone's feelings are hurt, it's oh, they were bullying you. But no, it was just that my kid was the youngest, probably annoying to the older kids, you know, wanting to tag along and be there and be goofy. And, you know, they were already established friends. So of course there was like that era where it's like he would just go off by himself because he'd feel left out. And it broke my heart, and it happened almost in every situation, every group situation we were in with him, he would just go off by himself. And I worried so much. And then, you know, we've been doing this a couple of years now, and he's so he's known the kids a couple of years now. We've done a camping trip together, we see them all the time. So they have created more of a bond. They've they've discovered that they all like to fish together, they've discovered that they all like to bike together. So, like those things grow. They're not gonna happen your first visit to the homeschool group, you know. Even the moms are not gonna be like welcoming you in with open arms because they're probably used to seeing people come in and out and in and out, and you know, you're here just to test the waters, or you know, you're here and then you actually you just summer break and then you're sending your kid to school in the fall. So they kind of need to see your face too to know that you're serious and get to know you. Right. So it's hard, even though it's it's homeschooling, and we're all there for wanting the best for our kids, it's still we're all humans with our own backgrounds and coming in with that pre-existing knowledge or baggage, whatever we want to call it. But can you tell us a little bit about your YouTube page before we round out the hour too? Because you have a YouTube page that um is has so much good information on it.
Speaker:Yeah, so my YouTube channel is homeschooling through high school, same with my Instagram page, and I just post videos on there recently. I've been receiving requests to post a lot of videos about the high school senior year, and what does that look like and what does that entail from the, you know, what is a FASFO? What is a transcript? How how do you deal with emotions? How do you handle it as a mom? So I just post a lot of things about the middle school and the high school years as a homeschooler, and every now and then I post some other fun things as well on my Instagram page, homeschooling through high school, the same. I just post a lot of encouragement just because I was I had one person who poured into me so much and encouraged me when they didn't need to, and I will never forget that. So I like to post a lot of encouraged, encouraging posts and reels to uplift any homeschooler that I can. And then I post about coffee and stuff like that sometimes too. I just hit follow.
Speaker 1:I just hit follow on your page. I can't believe I wasn't following you. I guess I knew that you had the YouTube. I didn't know that you were um on Instagram too. So yeah, this looks so fun. I love this. You're so colorful and all the stuff that you put on here. So great. Even just looking at the page, I'm uplifted. And I can I put a link to this and your YouTube page in the show's description so people can easily find it. Yes, thank you so much. Awesome. Anything else you're working on that you wanted to talk about or say before we close out for the hour?
Speaker:I want to, I should make a video about this. The the myths behind homeschooling high schoolers and teens. It's um, you know, one of the most important things that I figured out is that if you have open communication with your teens and have them involved in the process of high school, things will go a lot smoother for you. And the most important thing as a parent is to make sure that at the end of the day, at the beginning of the day, in the middle of the day, you have a relationship with your child. The curriculum, the books, the math smarts, etc. All of that stuff. It will be it will be there. But your relationship with your child through the high school years is so crucial. It is so crucial, and it's very important to do whatever you need to do to keep that relationship very, very, very, very strong. And so do fun things with your teen. Find out what they want to do and do it. And I think the high school years, even middle school, start in middle school. Um sometimes it's hard to get that one-on-one time in the elementary years, but if you can make it a point to separate some time in the middle school years and definitely in the high school years, and have one-on-one just fun time because remember, you're always the teacher now. You're always the person that's telling them not only the responsibilities they need to do in the house and the chores and the this and the that, but you're also guiding them with their schoolwork. You gotta have some fun in there. And teenagers still wanna have fun and do all the fun things that they did when they were smaller. It just looks different, you know. Um, it just looks a little different. My son and I, we go to Costco. That's one of our little outings, and he gets whatever little treat he wants here and there, you know, or maybe not, but that's he liked Costco, I like Costco, so we go to Costco. That might not be for everybody, but that's what we do. And let's see. I think last week we went to In N Out. After his college class, we went to In N Out because that's what I figured we would do for the week. And that's about the amount of time that he has. So we just continue to do little things, whatever that might be. Also, last week he was doing something with some technology thing, so I decided to just sit there and just ask him a couple questions about it because he's interested in it. So I need to find an interest in it as well. And I'm just giving you examples. Stay connected with your child. I I promise you, the high school years, the middle school years will be all that so much more and be smoother if you do so.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. And you're so right. And even when they're little, I've noticed with my son, if I take the time to shut that phone off and sit down with him just to play a board game for, you know, 20 minutes, a half hour, whatever it is, or a card game. Now that he's getting to that age where he can play and do all that stuff on his own, like we have fun, you know, bonding over that. And I need to get back into that because I think we kind of lost it over the summer because it's nice out and he's out playing and stuff, but it's so important. And then car rides too is a great opportunity to talk, you know. Don't just have on, okay, we're listening to our book on tape, or I'm listening to my podcast and you listen to your stuff back there, you know, or we're just playing music. Like you can shut it off and talk about things, anything that comes up, or hey, whoever sees a hawk first gets a point, or who can read that sign coming up, or who can find the first B? You know, little things like that where I've noticed, like, oh, that brought up conversation between us where I normally would have just had, you know, a podcast play-in that I, you know, missed last week. And those those little opportunities, they really do mean a lot to the kids, even when we're yelling and screaming at them later in the day.
Speaker:Yeah, they do. They really, really do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, CJ, thank you so much for joining me today. This has been so nice to reconnect with you, and I can't wait to maybe talk to you after graduation for your son, and you can let us know how that went and what else we can expect.
Speaker:Yes, it's it's coming. I'm I'm very happy. I'm very happy about that. I will have my emotions, of course. The whole family will, but I'm excited. I'm excited. Um, congratulations on that.
Speaker 1:You did it! Thank you, CJ. Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of the Homeschool How To. If you've enjoyed what you heard and you'd like to contribute to the show, please consider leaving a small tip using the link in my show's description. Or if you'd rather, please use the link in the description to share this podcast with a friend or on your favorite homeschool group Facebook page. Any effort to help us keep the podcast going is greatly appreciated. Thank you for tuning in and for your love of the next generation!