.png)
The Homeschool How To
I don't claim to know anything about homeschooling, so I set out on a journey to ask the people who do! Join me as I chat with homeschoolers to discuss; "why are people homeschooling," "what are all the ways people are using to homeschool today," and ultimately, "should I homeschool my kids?"
The Homeschool How To
#146: We Pulled Our Kid From School After 2 Weeks - Here's Why We'll Never Go Back
Discover how one family's challenging school experience became a powerful homeschooling journey. What starts as a two-week trial becomes a wake-up call that changes everything. This raw, honest conversation reveals why traditional school wasn't working and how unschooling created the freedom their family desperately needed.
In this episode, we explore:
- The wake-up call that changed everything about their education approach
- Breaking free from "compliance culture" and therapy pressure
- Building community through homeschool co-ops
- France vs. U.S. schooling: eye-opening cultural differences
- What unschooling really looks like in daily practice
- Interest-led learning, morning baskets, and unit studies that work
- Teaching kids how to think, not what to think
- Handling hard days with regulation and nature resets
- Self-care strategies for homeschool parents
- Creating a freedom mindset around time, travel, and family values
Whether you're considering homeschooling, already on the journey, or simply curious about alternative education, Sarah's story offers practical insights and encouragement for raising independent thinkers.
Perfect for: homeschool parents, unschooling families, parents questioning traditional education, those interested in child-led learning
Get Sarah's Emotional Regulation FREE Toolkit here!
A Connected Christmas Unit Study! Start making Christmas memories today!!
📘 The Homeschool How To Complete Starter Guide
Thinking about homeschooling but don’t know where to start? Cheryl created this comprehensive guide, compiling insights from interviews with over 120 homeschooling families across the country. From navigating state laws to balancing work and home life — this eBook covers it all. Stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling confident on your homeschooling journey.
Instagram: TheHomeschoolHowToPodcast
Facebook: The Homeschool How To Podcast
Welcome to this week's episode of the Homeschool How to. I'm Cheryl, and I invite you to join me on my quest to find out why are people homeschooling? How do you do it? How does it differ from region to region? And should I homeschool my kids? Stick with me as I interview homeschooling families across the country to unfold the answers to each of these questions week by week. Welcome. I have Sarah from Florida here with me today. Welcome Sarah, how are you? Thank you so much for having me. Now, how many kids do you have? I have four kids. You look so young. Do people tell you that all the time? Yes, definitely. They look at you like a poor teenager had four kids that she's carroting around.
SPEAKER_01:They're very young, pretty much young. Oldest is nine. Good. Yeah. My oldest is nine. I have a seven-year-old and I have a six-year-old and a four and a half-year-old.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so how long have you been homeschooling?
SPEAKER_01:It's hard to put a number on it, but my oldest is nine. He's been in school for two weeks when he was three, and that was it. That was enough for me to never look back. So I guess from the beginning.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. So what happened in those first three weeks, two weeks that made you say never again?
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Uh so I moved from Brooklyn to Florida and I have a three-year-old and a newborn child, my firstborn. And then I just had this whole pressure of checklist when I got into the school, like into the it was a play group with little, little kids. Um I had this feeling that I had to check many buses. And then when my kid was just playing, there was always an issue with the way he was so like he's not passing on toys because the camera rang. So he's supposed to pass on the toy to somebody else. Meanwhile, my son is playing at home. Like, how am I supposed to know how to make the puzzle if they keep interrupting me? So I told that to the director and she says, Well, it doesn't work like this here. You have to stop and you have to know how to. So I was like, okay, that's an issue. Then she comes to me and she says, He can't have scotch. I said, Yes, I know. I live in Brooklyn. We don't have scotch in Brooklyn until a certain age where you can go freely in the street. I was like, This is why. He he's just three. Meanwhile, he's playing Chinese yo-yo like a 10-year-old and he was only three. So me, I'm like, listen, I think he's focused on his hands right now, so why don't we just give him a few more weeks? Oh, it doesn't work like that. Then I she says, I said, okay, fine, so what do you want to do? Put him in therapy or just ask for OT to come or whatever. I said, he's three is old, he's three million things out. What are you talking about? He's three. And she says, Well, what do you care? It's free. I said, if I need to sell my kid to to to help my child, I will. But this is not helping, this is going against him. And she's like, but the whole class is in therapy. Like they all have shadows and stuff. So I looked at her, I said the whole class is in therapy. Okay, got you. Went into the classroom, took his back back, and never looked back. The whole class is in therapy. I mean, it's still having an issue. I don't want that. I don't want to.
SPEAKER_00:Were you in Brooklyn at this time or in Florida?
SPEAKER_01:I just moved to Florida. So he he was born in Brooklyn. He lived there for three years. Then we moved to Florida. First few weeks he's already in school. Um, it was September, so the beginning of the year, and this happened. I had a newborn child. He was 10 days old. So imagine the pressure between having a baby, having to school, telling you your son's can't hops cut, he's three, and then putting pressure on you to put him in therapy. I'm like, okay, okay, okay. I think he's gonna do much better watching me nurse my baby all day.
SPEAKER_00:He's paper. I mean, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And I never really thought about that before. But yeah, the passing the toy when the bell rings, you're not done playing with it. And like, what is that teaching a child? I mean, they're literally preparing them for school when you're in the middle of learning, you know, something really interesting in history, and they're like, ding, bell rang. Sorry, you gotta go to math now. And my gosh, the conditioning. Wow. I mean, that took a lot for you to have the gut instinct to he would actually be benefiting more from watching me nurse all day than being in here, because this is actually going to be detrimental to him. But what, especially postpartum, what gave you that actual drive and the courage to say, I'm taking him out?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, that's a good question. I actually was uh renting to a friend of mine, she's a neighbor, um, and she has four kids also, and they're all in different schools. So I went to her and I said, Look what happened. It makes no sense to me. And she says, She looks at me, she's like, I I know the type of woman you are. It's like you, you, you're a DIY person. And she says, Um, I have four kids in four different schools, it's the same problem everywhere. You're gonna meet this in every single school. So I'm telling you, it's either you comply to them and you do all the therapies like we do because we don't want to have our kids at home all day, or you do it yourself. That's the only way. And like, for real? There's no school that I can't, you know, try it to. And she's like, no, there's you're gonna meet if it's not the same, it's not gonna be the same teacher, not the same product, not the same label that we put on a kid, but it's gonna be the same issue. You comply, you participate, you do what they say, or unless you have money.
SPEAKER_00:Wow, yeah, and yeah, and what will money do? Because I mean, even in the expensive private schools, they still have rules, somebody's still funding them more than you are. And yeah, wow. So she did the private thing, she did all the charter stuff, and it is the same issue everywhere.
SPEAKER_01:Same, same. No, they were all in regular schools, but she told me that's what you're gonna get. And then I had, thank God, I had um a homeschool friend, a neighbor, also. So I go to her and I say, Look, what happened? Also, she's like, How about you come with me one day at the co-op and you see how it goes? I'm gonna show you what we go through. So I tell the school, like, I need to take him out, you know, and I'm gonna try something new. And then I go with my son and I have this co-op and I see like all these ladies, they were all Colombians and they all know, like, I don't know, they're just playing with their kids, and all the kids are walking around freely having a blast. I started nursing the baby, and right away one takes my my three-year-old and starts playing with him, and one and a half year old and like, oh my god, there's a whole world out there. I had no idea about no, none. I grew up in France. There's no one that homeschools in France, it's very, very difficult to homeschool in France. Really? So yeah, I I've never met a homeschooler in France my entire childhood.
SPEAKER_00:Well, that's so interesting. Now I'm gonna have to go on a search for is this a thing in in France? But the schools are different in France, correct? Like, at least the younger ones. I know I read a book when I was pregnant with my son, so it was eight years ago, um, called Bringing Up Bay Bay, and it's a American woman who moved to Paris to be with her husband and got pregnant there, and she was just kind of like talking about the differences in that school. And she's like, the chef meets with like the parents before the school year starts, and they make a menu of what the chef is actually preparing, and there's real food that they're giving these children with you know, vegetables and cheeses and fermented, you know, whatever. Um, and the book was basically just comparing how much different it is in France than in America.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. So I like to say France is always 10 years late. So I think if you go to school now in France, you're gonna get the US 10 years ago, which is basically, you know, we always have they never they never had a chef making our food. Yeah, and that's true. That for the for the public school system has terrible food. I've watched so many videos and posted some of them, but we always had amazing, amazing food, very healthy. We always had a protein, a vegetable, and a carb that was at every single meal. I don't remember having dessert ever. There was no sugar being served, no candies being served. That was me, 34 years old. So um, that was me growing up. We did have to go to school for many hours. So I don't know her experience, maybe when they were little. We stopped at 3-4, yeah. But at the end, like starting sixth grade, we we already finished school at 6 p.m. every single night. Um so it was 8 30 to 6 p.m. We have 10-minute recess in the morning, 10-minute recess in the evening. So that was my experience in France.
SPEAKER_00:Now that's interesting. Why do you think they do it for so long? Is it because the parents are at work for that long and they kind of need babysitters, or are they that diligent about academics?
SPEAKER_01:They were very diligent about academics for sure, because every school wants to be number one of them in the ratings. So for sure that's it. But also, I was in a in a private school in France and they were very adamant about academics. The public school is, I think, 4 p.m., 5 p.m., but also very difficult.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so how does that shape how you homeschool today? Coming from a very rigid background where you were there for almost 10 hours a day, to what you see in the homeschool community, which I know there's unschooling is a huge thing right now. Just, hey, you're into trucks this week. Let's learn about trucks and we'll learn math through trucks and science through trucks and reading through trucks. So, how did your experience in France shape what you do with your kids right now?
SPEAKER_01:Very interesting. You're asking that right now because I feel like the only thing I kept from when I from the way I grew up was the food. I feed my kids every day the same plates, and I have my carb, my veggie, and my protein at every single meal I post every day on Instagram, but it's very, very funny. But we are more towards unschooling. We lean more towards unschooling. I like to say my kids are my curriculum. My kids are my curriculum, meaning I follow their interests, I follow their pace and their learning styles. So we go deep into certain subjects because of one of their interests. Um, I'm trying to come up with an example. I happen with my daughter, she's starting to learn Spanish. She wants to learn Spanish because we just came back from Mexico and she wants to talk to the helper and she wants to talk to people and it is a lot of Spanish in Florida. She hears a lot of Spanish in Florida. So she's just interested in Spanish. And then um I brought her a few books and a few games and a few, you know, puzzles and stuff to do with Spanish, and she's learning by herself. I'm just here helping her, giving her the resources she needs. Then I'm talking to my dad, and he speaks Spanish fluently because he works in Spain a lot from France. And I grew up with hearing Spanish at home. And I tell my father, and I thought he was going to be so proud. I was like, hey, my daughter, she's seven, and she's uh learning Spanish. And he looks at me and he says, Spanish, what are you talking about? Like she's only seven years old. Second language should come at like, I don't know, sixth or seventh grade. And I'm like, interesting that he's saying that because it's not part of the curriculum. She's interested now, and what am I gonna say? No, not right now. That doesn't make any sense. So, whatever they're interested in, I will try my best to provide the resources that they need. So that's the type of unschooling that we do. We don't do the radical unschooling where I just let my kids roam free and just touch things and break and see how it breaks and then make a lesson about the breaking or the other things. I do that with the, I don't know, I would do that naturally as a mom speaking. So I guess I I have this in me. So I would talk to my children when something happens, I would just say, hey, let's look it up, or things like that. So I have this mindset, but uh, we do have a lot of material that's um educational. I do have a playroom and um oh that's cool.
SPEAKER_00:That's so cool. Okay, so you have four kids now, right? And how do you integrate, like, say your one is interested in the Spanish, but you have another child interested in trucks? Like that can be that can sound overwhelming for the mom that's like, I'm not homeschooling yet. I want to homeschool, I like this unschooling idea. But yeah, what if they're all into different things? Is it overwhelming? Like, are we putting too much pressure on ourselves? How much time a day do you really have to spend on the Spanish on the trucks? Is it even every day?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, it's it sounds overwhelming, absolutely, but once you get into the rhythm of life, it actually is it's not like that. We don't do Spanish every single day. It's like the material is available for her to use. So when she goes towards that, she sits down. So we have a two-hour dedicated for learning from 9 to 11 every day, where I sit down in the homeschool room and then they go to their baskets and they take whatever they want from it. So I prepare it on Sunday. It takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to prepare everyone's baskets because I want them to learn grammar, English, you know, basic math and basic basic English and other stuff. So I have that in the basket and then something else about their interests. So my son has right now like astronauts and stuff like that, right? So I prepare that on a Sunday, and then during the week, they just go by themselves and they choose whatever they want from that morning basket. They can do anything or they cannot touch it at all, as long as they're learning in that room in those two hours. So my only rule is we don't do music in those two hours, so everybody can focus. But I would do sometimes a unit study. When I do unit study, there's no Spanish, there's no and there's no astronauts, there's like and and trucks. There's only the subject I want to teach, let's say a holiday coming up. In the unit study, I have all my kids learning about the same topic, but it's different levels. So I would have um a tracing exercise, I would have a puzzle, I would have um books about the subject, I would have uh something that's more for my oldest son and for my youngest, and coloring and all this stuff in the unit study. So this is just you know, preparing. You just think about let's say I want to teach about rainbows. So all of a sudden I have I'm looking at scanning my my homeschool room where my all my rainbow stuff are, and then I go around and I just take them and put them on the table. And then I'm here to help them navigate. When they want to do two different subjects at the same time, I I do one-on-one, let's say 20 to 30 minutes tops. So in those two hours, I have all my four kids taken care of. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Awesome. So, okay, so what does getting the baskets look like? Like, are you going to the store to get astronaut things? Or, you know, are you planning ahead of time from the library? Like, I'm gonna need to get these books out. So let's order them, you know, on the first so that they're here by the 15th so that they can be in that basket. You know, what does that look like, the prep work? Because I don't ask a lot of people that, but it's definitely a good question and something that I thought about before homeschooling.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's definitely a good question. I'm so bad at it. So bad at it. I'm like, I get stuff. I get stuff because I don't know, it's it's around. I think the only times that I prepared ahead of time and I actually went on Amazon and ordered a bunch of things on this topic or you know, sp on a specific topic was when I did a group setting. So I would invite friends or we had a little party at home, got a little co-op in my house. That was the only time I ordered an event. Otherwise, whatever I have is what we're gonna use. And I do have a lot of stuff because you know, my oldest is nine, so he's been through many, many different subjects. Um, so I guess now I don't buy anything anymore. But when he was little, I guess there was more. There was more of that. But it's not, it doesn't have to be too much. We can even go to the library and just stay there to do the book part of it, you know, and then you can come back and you have one puzzle about it and then and then stress that during the week. It's very flowy. That's the that's the word I like to use. People think it's overwhelming because they think about structure and they think about like preparation and then setting it up and then this and that, but it's more flowy. Like I just think about rainbows, I scan in my head, put on the table, they come, they roam around. So it's more like it's it's less stressful than it sounds like.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I mean I know AI and Chat GPT might be the death of us, but while we're still here and alive, I know I've used that before, like saying, hey, Chat GPT, I want to do a quick lesson on rainbows. Are there things around my house I can use to demonstrate this? The refraction, the whatever, the bending of the light with the water. I don't know. But it will come up with some interesting stuff. And you got it right in your house. I mean, you do that for your dinner recipes too. Uh huh. I have all of this in my pantry. What can I make for dinner in the Instapot? Yeah, I've definitely used that. I I love unit studies. I don't think people talk about them enough. I got some unit studies from Treehouse Schoolhouse, and she does she did a connected Christmas and then she does like a seasonal one too. So I have the fall one from last year, and she has a lot, I it's 13 weeks long. I mean, we don't do that much schooling, so and it's five days a week. So last year I did like seven or eight weeks of it, and then this year uh I'm doing a couple, but uh, it's funny because yeah, I'm noticing like oh last year I was a little bit more prepared with this. I would go on at the beginning of the month and order four weeks worth of the books that she recommends getting from the library, and then this year it's like, oh crap, I we're at the end of the unit. Let me let me go on to the library account, order next week's books, which are gonna get here in two weeks. So now we're doing something different next week, but it's okay because it's a unit study. So, like right now it's woodland creatures, which I probably wouldn't have even known what that was. So it's like little squirrels and hedgehogs and you know, porcupines and raccoons and stuff. So it's cool. They get you um, she has you take out certain books from the library, honest. You can order those, they come right to your library, so this isn't even costing anything. And um, and then she has a folk song that about you know that topic. So the kids are hearing sort of different kind of music than they normally would. And there's a poem that you read together, and there's copy work from the poem, and there's art, and you discuss the art or play little games that she gives you. It's amazing. Here's the artist, read the artist, and um look up where they're from and what year they were born, find the year on the timeline, find their location they were born on a globe or a map. And so now you're talking about geography and history and stuff. So it is really cool. And there's always like an art project or something at the end, which today it was as simple as here are the woodland creatures that they've printed out for you, cut them up, hand them to your children, and have them make up a story. So I, you know, they talk together about what story they were gonna tell me, and then I came back in and they, you know, recited this little play for me with the little pieces of paper with the animals on them. So it's like you're right, it does not have to be as difficult as we make it think before we're actually homeschooling when we think it's so daunting. When you're in it, you realize they're just learning everywhere they go.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, also that just look about on a unit study. It costs us to just go online, look for a subject and unit study, cost what, five between five and ten dollars a unit study, and you're done. You just have to print it, and then your kids just you know follow through the the the entire packet. It doesn't like it doesn't it sounds like my friend saw me building um an herb rack with my son, and she's like, Oh my god, you built that with your son. I'm like, I don't know, the unit study said to build one. So it was like a whole unit study from T uh teaching O and A. And I got it's a big packet, it was beautiful about herbs, and I had just planted some um herbs in my in my kitchen. Also, all of this because my kids asked me a question like what happens when you put a seed, what happens when you swallow, when you swallow a seed, like you know, would it grow? My four-year-old asked me, would it grow? So I was like, What does a seed need to grow? And then from then on, my son asked me even a more profound question, and then the other one asked me another question. I'm like, I'm looking at him like unit study, seeds, let's go. And then we did all that, we planted some stuff, we printed it. It didn't, it's like it like I said, it's flowing. I went to the store, I bought a cilantro. That's so cool.
SPEAKER_00:Where did you say you got that unit study from? I'll put it in the show's description.
SPEAKER_01:Teaching O and A. She's incredible. I love her designs, it's so pretty.
SPEAKER_00:Teaching O and then A, like the letter. Yeah, O and A. I actually spelled it. Teaching O and A. Cool. All right, I'll put that in the show's description for anyone that wants to check it out. We got a connected Christmas unit study from Treehouse Schoolhouse two years ago when my son was five, and we had so much fun with it. Last year we grabbed all the books again from our library because they added so much to our Christmas season. This year, I am so excited to be doing it again with both of my kids, ages three and seven. Every day includes a song to listen to, a poem, a beautiful piece of artwork, a meaningful story, a little craft or project, and a Bible verse for copywork. It's such a special way to slow down and truly connect as a family. I know this will be one of those traditions that your kids look back on every Christmas with such fond memories. Grab the link in my show's description to get a connected Christmas today. Yeah, so that and that's a great point too, because you mentioned that you were sort of this unschooler, and people think, okay, so you just let your kids hang out all day doing nothing or sit in front of the TV or the video games. And it's like, no, what it really is is following their interests, such as they had a question about the seeds, you went and found the resources and then did a whole project on it where they learned so I'm sure they were counting. So there was math involved, there's science involved, there's health involved, there's food, you know, this home egg. So interesting. You could really go with that anyway.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, every subject was was was covered. We we we wrote so much, we counted so much, and we, you know, went to the garden and it was beautiful. It's such a beautiful experience.
SPEAKER_00:So, how does this compare to your upbringing with the 10 hours a day of schooling and the rigidity of that? I don't even know if that's a word, because I went to public school in America. So, like when the when they're 18 and graduating, do you think that they'll academically be as I don't know, advanced as you were after all those years spent in a classroom?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, it's such a it's such a good question. Uh, I have to say, um, okay, so when I was in school growing up, I used to tell everybody I love school. I love school. First of all, house was boring. My parents were working like men. Um, there was no, like, it was not fun to be home. So I love to go to school. It was my safe space, also. So I love going to school. And then I I got married and like I still love school. You know, I went to college and I still love learning and I love, you know, getting diplomas and stuff like that. I was I I like to do that. And then I started homeschooling and like, what was I doing all these years? I was so good playing the the game of school. So what I was doing is professionate just enough so I can have this little monster in meetup and study now the test is tomorrow. Okay. Then I would study online, memorize everything so so well, go to the test, get an A plus. The second I return my test, I would forget everything. Like on purpose. Like I don't need this information in my head. Boom. I've just retained enough to pass the test, and then that was it. My hospital diploma thinking. The second I finished my whole school diploma, we remembered, we remembered nothing. Right. And then I was like, oh my god, I actually was very good at memorizing and vomiting it as a test. And then once you're done, you forget all about it. And now I see with my kids the way I what I focus on is I want them to integrate what they're saying. I want it to be relevant. So I make sure every topic is relevant, something they're gonna they're gonna be using. That's not gonna be obsolete in a few years, like really, really also integrate values into it. So they're learning subjects that that mean a lot to them. That's why they're interested, they're curious, and I integrate what I want from them to learn. So the grammar is there, the math is there, all these stuff are in what they're learning. And I think even more importantly, is learning how to think rather than what to think. So that's why we were learn this, learn that, learn this, learn that. Here's the test, here's the test, that's making you know this. With my kids, I barely answer their questions. They ask me a question, I say, uh, I know how I started a whole debate with it. I hate to just say, Oh, this is the answer. I don't like to do that because then they don't ask more questions. They don't they don't develop their critical thinking in a way, and I I don't want that. So I asked them, oh, why do you think it's that from that question? We start a whole debate on science, and they have such good points sometimes on like to go back to school. You know, because I think purely logically, no one is like, tell me what to say, tell me what to say. You know, I still have need to have my papers and my posted notes. I still need to have like my to feel safe. They just flow and they I don't know. They have not only they ask more questions and they're very curious, but also I teach them how to research. Yes, I don't answer vital weighted questions, yes, I ask them what they think, and we we brainstorm and all this stuff, but after that we we go and research. Should we go for a book? Should we go for ChatGPT? Should we go for Google? What do we do? All my kids know how to touch my phone and just ask the question to Google, right? So they would do that. This is really important. So I know 18 years old, when the time comes that they're gonna be, you know, on their own working, figuring things out, they'll know exactly how. Um I can go on for hours on this, so like the critical thinking, then the how to think, right? So how to research also, and also knowing that they can achieve anything they want. I tell them all day. For me, this is the most important part of homeschooling is when you go in the back of your kids' ear and you say, I know you can do this, I believe in you. You got this, you know? I know it's hard what you can do, hard things. All these words when they're 18 years old is I think all of this combined is way more important than actual information. So I knew information, but I've turned in my post-it and I'm 34 years old, like I still need, but they don't, and I see it all already, you know.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that makes me think of like the other day we were at our homeschooling. Our friend just has like a creak thing at her house every Monday. My son lost a tooth there, but he was like irrationally hyperventilating because it was hanging on by a thread, but it let me near it, and he's crying, and the snots coming out, and the blood's coming out, and slime is coming out, and tears are coming up. It's like, my god, you're embarrassing me so I just I I know at 18 he's gonna be like, Oh, I'm gonna need therapy from my mother. Yeah, but pull it together, man. Come on. I I'm missing that nurturing gene from my mother. The the woman I just interviewed was saying how your children show you what you lacked in your childhood, but like you're learning from the so I'm like, okay, I do have to be a little bit more loving, like you know, showing like I'm like, it's a two. Come on, I've seen you fly over your handlebars on the mountain bike and you get up and like walk, get right back on the bike. Why why is this going on? So, do you have hard days though? Because even still, like if you're like not forcing the sit in your seat, you know, do your reading and do your math. And if you're doing more of the unschooling approach, it's definitely easier than to fight with your child about doing you know rigid curriculum. But there are still like mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. You're getting it from four of them. And where you just like, or I don't know, you just lose it. Like, are do you have those days, or how do you get through those moments not losing?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So I'm gonna I'm gonna share with you my hard days, and then I'm gonna show you what I do with my hard days, and I'm gonna show you how hard it is to even get to that part where you know what to do with your hard days. Awesome, awesome. So um, of course, I have hard days, and of course, it's it's basically when the mom's needs are not met, right? So you're hungry, you're tired, you had a hard tough night or whatever, you're feeling dysregulated, you are misaligned, or you whatever it is that's happening. I have very hard days. I'm like, are you talking to me? I'm not I'm I don't I don't want to hear voices now, but uh well I'm like, wait, I homeschool my four kids, right? Get it together. So like it's it's like the yes, the being pulled in all directions, and I work at the same time sometimes um during the day. I have to do certain things and the cooking and the cleaning and whatever. So it's so much, so much. So most of the most of the week is fine, and then so we have smooth days and everything's good, it's rolling. Besides for the conflicts, you know, that's something else uh as part of the curriculum. But yes, when I'm not feeling aligned and when I'm not regulated, we have hard days. So they are a direct mirror of us, and sometimes it's them who are dysregulated. And either way, whether it's them or me, the entire energy needs to be taken care of. You need to like realign. And there's one place in the world where it works every single time, that's the beach. You just pick up everything, we look around, we're like, I'm out. The house can stay the way it is. We're all going to the beach, we're gonna take a reset day, we can go to a forest, we can go to any place of nature that resets us. But for me to even get to the point so that to be like, okay, guys, beach day, we need to go. Sometimes it's like, what? What are you guys all doing? What's wrong? But if it's like there's nothing that's going your way that day, it's hard to even like think like maybe I should do something about it. And then take them to the beach. But that's what I would do. I go to the beach. Either, other either I reset myself, so I move away, about away from my kids when it's too overwhelming, too much happening, too too much sensory or touching or whatever, then I would say, I need a five-minute break. I need a little time out in my room. I'm gonna feel much better when I come back. And I move away. I think no, I'm taking time for myself and breathing and everything, I come back at a much clear regulated. If it's a child, I would take care of that first, you know, to be the palm that they can borrow. That's not enough to say like they can borrow my palm. So I would just be with them, whether it's hand-in-hand or heart to heart or just talking. I'd be with that video for them. And if it's the entire family, we're out. We just get because that's what we need. We just we just can't have, and that's that's what I love my freedom for, you know. You can respond to your family's needs as a whole, whether it's mine, my kids, or all of us.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so in short, we should all move to the beach. We should all be moving to Florida. We do have that in New York. I have we have forests. We're not too far, like we can I can get to a beach on a lake. Well, I assume that'll do the same.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And this is anywhere where there's no walls, that's what it is. Yeah. You need no walls. Don't take them to don't take them to um a trampoline park because this is very good. Trampolet park are so good. We try to go at least once a week, once every two weeks. It's amazing, but it's not for regulation, it's for using your bodies or core, you name it. But if you want to regulate your family, go out in nature. You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:No walls. My daughter today, she's it's like getting cold here in New York now. You know, it was like 40 degrees, and she's out with her sweatshirt, sweatpants, and a dress on under it, um, and no shoes. And I said to her, I go, What are you doing? It's cold out. She says, I'm ground she's three. I'm grounding with the earth. I said, All right, but you're but you're standing on pavement. It's cute that you you are wanting to ground, but you it's not working. Like you're cold and you're on pavement. But yeah, that that makes a lot of sense. I think, you know, and I made me think too of myself. What am I doing? What am I eating? What am I drinking? What am I am I sleeping enough? What am I doing for myself that's making me react in such a way? Because like for myself, I grew, I don't know, you're from France, maybe you grew up the same way. I don't know. They say that the French do, but you know, having a drink like while I make dinner. Like, oh okay, let's pour a glass of wine while I make dinner. Well I started researching it and like that actually changes the way your brain works and the way your synapses connect and your um how you regulate I'm sure and how you react to things. So like the next day I I think it was having an effect on like my how I how much I can handle as far as being overwhelmed. Like I probably couldn't handle overwhelm even from just a little bit. And so I was like okay well I'm gonna have to change something because I feel myself getting so tense all the time. And so I was like all right we're just gonna like eat fairly clean and you know not have any alcohol try to drink a lot of water and stuff and I probably have more coffee than I should have done like three cups two, three cups a day, but it's organic. But I feel like I have noticed that that has made a difference just cutting that out because when you like research um you know what alcohol does in your body it actually creates something called acetaldehyde. So it's like you have a toxin in your body but then your body is as a byproduct creating another toxin. So your body's fighting that and for like 10 days I think alcohol is in your system. So even just a little bit. So that was interesting for me to learn and I was like all right well that's something simple I can change. I mean it's simple until your kids drive you nuts and you're like oh my God now I got a cock get her again I just want something for me. But I've started like okay let me just get a really good book out of the library and I'm not a huge reader of for myself but I was like you know there are books I really do enjoy. So I did I got one that I really really liked and I looked forward to reading that every night. So instead of looking forward to like oh I'll have a Chardonnay while I cook dinner tonight I was like I'm gonna be like more awake when everybody goes to sleep. So I'm I'm gonna read that book a little bit and I did sacrifice like reading to my kids at night. You know so I'll try to do that earlier in the day or there are just some days we just don't get to it. You know, we're out doing things yesterday we were out a field trip the day before we had a friend's house. So there are some days that I don't just don't get to reading to them. But I was like you know what it's more important for me to have this time to myself in the evening where I can take 15 minutes or 20 minutes and read a book that I enjoy. It's something I'm looking forward to and it's a healthy thing for me. So I did sacrifice reading with the kids for that before bed. And it doesn't mean it always has to be that way but I'm like this is what's working right now. So I think like can you talk speak to that as like giving grace and do French people drink wine with every meal?
SPEAKER_01:No I told my husband I'm low maintenance but I do drink wine so I guess I am very um yes we eat we eat we we drink wine with whatever we eat so it has to match. So I'm very big on that. But I don't do it during work hours and I'm a homeschool mom. So I learned a few more skills the benefits of learning how to breathe for homeschool mom should be a one-on-one because when you learn how to breathe you get the same effect you can you can feed your prefrontal cortex and just start thinking again before we can think we have all these emotions coming up if I drink a cup of wine when I'm feeling very emotional it makes it worse because it attacks my liver my liver is where my emotions are stored. So that's not gonna help in the evening when they're sleeping yes but during the day I prefer to take a break in my room take a very very deep breath and do some breath work even if it's like a two three or four minute thing like it doesn't have to be too much. Just calm down and then small affirmations that we do naturally it doesn't have to be a script that you that you find or whatever. It just I can do this I'm gonna come back out and I'm gonna be so calm and I'm gonna listen to every single one of them and see what they need from me and show up. You know like I would do that so but just breathing shifts your whole entire like head the way you handle things the way you even hear it sometimes my kids ask me something I'm like what do you all want from me? Wait, I don't need to breathe oh what do you need from me you know you show up in a different way once you your your mind is clear. There's other ways you know EFT tapping that I'm very big into this is my secret by the way I don't know his thing this is the the ruler to um help blood circulation it's uh it's called the Gasha massager I think it's called yeah and this is made of quartz and if I don't have time and everybody's going nuts I would just go in my office I take these I have a bunch I have one I have like a massage thing whatever and I go and I just help myself just help my blood I already feel better. This is cold it's always cold. So imagine on your face being rolled giving a massage to your face and then helping the blood circulating I already feel so much better. It's insane it's very fast.
SPEAKER_00:Okay so if you're if you're only listening to this you'll have to look at the YouTube version too yeah I want to say someone gave me one of those once but with an oil and I thought it was to rub the oil on and then my face broke out in this insane rash. So I I don't know if I threw it out or not.
SPEAKER_01:Maybe I still have the roller I don't use the oil yeah don't use the oil just make sure it's quartz quartz is the is already doing the work how come that is um this these rocks they like have superpowers. Yeah I'm very big interesting just that because I needed something urgent like when I kid when it's like you know the food I need to make the dinner I need to do this I need to do that it has to get done I can't just let my kids and say hey guys let's reset for 55 minutes. I can't happen it's bedtime almost like I I need to get going. So I go to my room I calm down regulate myself and then when I come out usually the kids mirror that almost all the time it's very interesting to see if they're having a hard day again I'm regulated so I can help them I don't see it as an issue. But if I'm not then the entire family is you know tense. So I prefer to take care of myself first before it gets worse. And that and that usually works.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah and it is hard when you have okay like the house needs to be vacuumed the dishes are piled up in the sink we have to think about dinner tonight but yeah we haven't even gotten through breakfast and lunch yet and you know you want to make this play date but you really don't feel like going but should I go because homeschoolers aren't socialized. Yeah right um you know and then you feel bad because you missed a play date or I had a puppy and an 11 year old lab. So like my 11 year old can't hold his bowels in so then he's going to the bathroom I'm trying to clean that the puppy's jumping on my three year old I'm like why did I do this to myself and then just trying to run even like the Instagram page and the podcast and homeschool and just be there for my kids for their emotional needs. It really is a lot. So I'm glad that you brought that up because you know we should talk about that and how you know we are still people and yeah you you do have to take those few minutes to yourself or find a roller or you know maybe it is get a massage once a month or you know whatever it is whatever you enjoy doing having a book that you enjoy reading and and even if it is okay you're going to bed tonight without a story you know because mom's gonna read her own book or you can read to yourself or you can listen to a podcast you know they have they have great podcasts for kids where like even is it the Libby app yeah liby you can go on and get like an audiobook read to your child for free. So like my son will he's listened to the boxcar children series for years now. So it's like okay mom's gonna go read her book listen to one of the children's stories for 20 minutes and then they're still getting the story you know it's and you're still getting what you need. You don't have to do that forever. You can just okay this is this moment in time that mom just needs a little break. So it's definitely important to do that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah we we need to focus on uh filling up our emotional cup because then you can't you can't pour properly to your kids and it's so crazy because when you go to work or when you drop off your kids in school um it's not as intense that everything that you need to work on is being put in front of your face. Like it's just not working. Homeschooling cannot work until you question yourself and say how can I do better? How can I change my tone I had to change a lot of things. I had to go through so much so much healing when I was homeschooling because it's just not working and you notice and you have this huge pressure that you're a hundred percent responsible for your kids' education and you're like oh my God if I don't change my tone it's not gonna work I'm gonna have to put them back in school and you don't want that because you remember why and this and then that like okay let me change this up and like number one I have a client she said all she needs is to be able to she figured it out like I need I know what I need for my self-care I just need to eat. If I just eat my whole day is amazing if I don't eat I'm a monster and then another one would say like I need at least two hours every night I need to do something for myself I need to go to the gym I need to that I don't I'm I'm like everybody has a different definition of self-care but you need to make sure you fill up your own cup and then it could be more blissful I guess joyful that's a great way to put it and you're right our kids are learning from us too so if you're like a hot mess all day long they're gonna end up the same way.
SPEAKER_00:I can see it now in my son certain things like where he gets really sastic like hyperventilates because he thinks he's gonna throw up I'm like crap he's got that from me he's got the nerves yeah we gotta we gotta self-regulate do the breaths that's that's huge too box breathing and I think you mentioned you mentioned EFT what's going off EFT tapping is when you have like a series of taps that you do on your body to just re um redirect energy.
SPEAKER_01:So you like start here you start here you can Google it and then you just keep tapping after it's the same hand. So after like a few minutes you can see that you can you let's say your affirmation that you want to get better you want to have a better day whatever you want um your brain is ready to to accept like okay let's make this happen. So then you show up in a different way so it really reshapes your energy um when you do EFTs like and you're telling yourself stuff at the same time so it's really helpful and I that I like easy and and and five minute thing not more I don't have more time for this. I know I need to do it and I need to regulate myself so my kids can be calm and regulated but I need something short.
SPEAKER_00:Thinking about homeschooling but don't know where to start well I've interviewed a few people on the topic actually 120 interviews at this point with homeschooling families from across the country and the world and what I've done is I've packed everything I've learned into an ebook called the Homeschool How to Complete Starter Guide from navigating your state's laws to finding your homeschooling style from working while homeschooling to supporting kids with special needs. This guide covers it all with with real stories from real families who've walked this path I've taken the best insights the best resources and put them all into this guide. Stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling confident. Get your copy of the Homeschool how to complete starter guide today and discover that homeschooling isn't just about education. It's about getting what you want out of each day not what somebody else wants out of you.
SPEAKER_01:You can grab the link to this ebook in the show's description or head on over to the homeschoolhow to dot com so I would do a few movements there's a few movements that you can do just swinging your arms while while letting go of your back a little bit so you just move that this is moving energy so you're feeling very very intense right now the kids are pulling you in all directions move back take a little break focus on yourself for just five minutes and do one thing that's that serves you best some people just they they don't like breathing so they can do a little bit of movement. Some people don't like movement you can do EFT something you know whatever works for you that you can shift yourself back into super mom mode I guess. I love that now where can people find you where you mentioned that you have clients is there some sort of coaching that you do yeah so I'm a conscious parenting coach and I have an expertise on homeschooling so um I do very very deep work with clients or just simple homeschooling guidance and they can find me on Instagram it's um Sarah Homeplay with an H.
SPEAKER_00:And my website is www.sarahomplay.com I love that I'm gonna put all of that in the show's description too so people can just hop right in there to check that out. Sarah is there anything any parting words that you wanted to leave with us today this has been so informative and really like motivational.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you so much. Just a few words for those who think homeschooling is overwhelming just continuing that topic I just wanted to point out a few like mindset shifts when it comes to freedom and how they're very powerful for me it was amazing to write them down. So I just just to explain what some people don't understand about homeschooling and why they think it's it's it's sometimes crazy or or too much on a mom they think that I'm giving up my freedom when I have my kids at home but I say the opposite and they're shocked like what do you mean you have your freedom you're with your kids all day like yes it's possible it's coming um they assume that I'm super overwhelmed that I'm never alone so again like I would take breaks and I put them to sleep early and I have all this stuff that I do for myself. I have my weekends I have enough for what I need everybody needs different things but I have enough what I need they picture always like a rigid routine that I need to do replicate school at home that's very overwhelming if you think this is homeschooling it's really not they think I can't have a business where I can't travel or I can't have personal goals. That's not true at all. Yes my life is around my kids and around my homeschooling but I can still do all this stuff. They think that it's a huge sacrifice that I had to cancel myself with it. But I see just a sacrifice where I'm bringing up my children I see the exact opposite it's a beautiful sacrifice. They think that the school is giving the parents a space and I know that the school is sometimes stealing time from children and very interesting because every time I talk to people they tell me actually I have my space and my time with my kids then I start breaking down what I really love about homeschooling they're like that actually would have been nice that actually would have been nice you know like whether it's carpal or just having to listen to teachers complaining about their own kids and so many things that when we discuss with people that go to school come up after we start discussing and going deep into homeschooling what I do have is my freedom to schedule I can decide when we wake up I don't have to run anywhere I don't have to go and catch a bus. I can decide where to learn I can decide when to rest when to go explore when to go to the beach or the forest I have definitely the freedom to travel whenever I want I can go with my kids put them in an airplane or put them in a car and just drive three hours somewhere with my kids there's no one to tell me you know you're gonna miss this, you're gonna miss that. Wherever we go we can go anytime. I also have freedom of lifestyle if you want to have slow morning morning if you want to have early bedtime whatever we want to do I choose right if we want to have a beach day or road trips um it's it could happen. I don't need permission from anyone to to make that happen. I'm not part of a system for me having my freedom from the system is one of the greatest um benefits of homeschooling I don't have to go and wait for hours at pickup and drop off and I don't have to rush anywhere you know um and you know be within the the system of the teachers and the and everything is happening in school I'm I just I feel so free not having that for me that's what's important. I have the freedom of where I want to use my energy you know where I want to where I want to put my my uh my energy like with my kids like what I want to focus on what I want to do. I don't have to say okay I need to wait for the kids for the weekend to be able to spend time with my kids or just connect with them because at night is homework and I didn't see them all day and then we have to eat quickly and take a shower and this no I can say hey right now I really want to spend one entire week on board games with my kids because I think it's better for connection or whatever like this is what I could do. I don't have anyone to go against my values so that's also a huge freedom you know of alignment it's me and I'm continuing that with my kids. I choose my rhythm, my priorities I don't have to compromise anything like I remember seeing so much so many screens the last time I visited a school and I saw screens everywhere I was like I don't like screen we're actually screen free family I don't I'm not interested well you can't because the school has all the screens and they get used to it and they have access to those iPads and I don't want that. Yeah that's that's basically what it is my my freedom that's what I value most.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah and even just thinking of you know the food they're getting in school and the active shooter drills your kids are subject to and the school saying you're you know you misbehave so you're staying after and it's like well it's my kid it's my it's their time to be home. Nope they have to stay like like they own them and uh it's really it's really backwards and I love that list that you just laid out. That was so awesome to just really see the big picture of it.
SPEAKER_01:And yeah you can literally not even do any organized curriculum and your child is still getting all of that like think of what a more peaceful life that is and bell ringing bell ringing you know alarm clock I can't imagine my kids like also then the topic of freedom when people tell me you don't have freedom I say I do have freedom first of all I took those few years in my life to focus on teaching my kids life skills my kids now he's now seven and six they cook they clean at the at the devil they do a lot of things in the house my son just surprised me cleaning the whole patio tonight pressure washing it and everything that he's nine I don't have to worry about it and he has his own business he has an active business he's nine years old he does car washes to people he knocks on people's doors he has a little tag so I can find him anytime he goes with his business partner who has a phone too and she goes and she it's a family phone just for emergencies like that. So he goes and knocks on people's doors he makes so much money my daughter sells everything she learns from from her program. She sells what she makes she bakes she cooks for like she makes like little pickles uh in a jar and she's seven years old and she goes she knocks on people's doors fearless and goes and she's like this is what they should be spending their day on you know they have learning they have life skills they can take care of themselves they're not like well my shirt is dirty they know they put in a wash they know exactly what to do they got this yes the responsibility is on me but they know how to do this stuff and for me this is setting up my freedom when they're all 12 years old I won't have to do as much as I'm doing now.
SPEAKER_00:So that makes sense for me. Oh that's so true and what a good way to round that out because yes it might look overwhelming when all your kids are young but that's such a short time in our motherhood. Yeah it feels like forever until they're all older and they don't need you they're not calling mom mom mom mom every time like you know you won't hear it so much later on and you're gonna miss it. So yeah you have to invest you're investing in your kids in your own freedom actually oh I love that I love that Sarah thank you so much for being here today this has been so fun so informative and like I said before it's so motivational I think we all needed to hear this today. So thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. And I will put all your links in the show's description so if you're listening or watching definitely check that out. All right have a good night bye thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of the Homeschool How to if you've enjoyed what you heard and you'd like to contribute to the show please consider leaving a small tip using the link in my show's description or if you'd rather please use the link in the description to share this podcast with a friend or on your favorite homeschool group Facebook page. Any effort to help us keep the podcast going is greatly appreciated. Thank you for tuning in and for your love of the next generation