#164: Teachers Are Leaving the System—Here’s Why (Homeschool + Work Reality)

What happens when a former public school teacher decides she won’t send her own kids to school?

In this episode of the Homeschool How To Podcast, Cheryl sits down with Ashley Martinez—a former teacher turned homeschooling mom of two—who shares what she saw inside the classroom, why she chose a different path, and how her family makes homeschooling and working actually work.

This conversation goes beyond curriculum and schedules. Ashley opens up about:

•  What teachers see inside schools that most parents don’t 
•  Why more educators are choosing to homeschool their own kids 
•  How to balance working from home while homeschooling 
•  The truth about socialization, co-ops, and hybrid homeschool models 
•  Why homeschooling gives families more freedom, flexibility, and connection 
•  Letting go of “balance” and embracing seasons of life 

If you’ve ever thought:
 “Can I homeschool if I still need to work?”
 or
 “I feel called to homeschool but don’t know how to make it work…”

This episode will give you clarity, encouragement, and a real-life look at what’s possible.

🎯 Ready to learn how families are actually doing this? Cheryl has interviewed 200+ homeschool families—and put a step by step process together for how to work and homeschool (even as a single parent!) Check it out below!

👉 How to Work & Homeschool (Even as a Single Parent!)

Find Ashley at:

https://linktr.ee/mrsashleymartinez

Transcript

Cheryl’s Road To Homeschooling

SPEAKER_01 0:02

I didn't plan to homeschool. I started asking hard questions, realized how little control parents actually have, and made the hard decision to leave a government job to homeschool my kids. Now I interview other homeschooling parents to learn how this all works. I'm Cheryl, and this is the Homeschool How to Podcast. Let's learn this together. Welcome. Today I have Ashley with us. Hi, Ashley. Hi, thank you for having me. Absolutely. Thanks for being here. What state are you in?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

So I am in Colorado. I'm originally a native Texan, but I moved and we love it.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Well, I'm sure both states are better than New York where I am.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Listen, I if there's one thing I've learned, they all have their pros and cons. That's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

That is true. How many kids do you have? And what are their ages?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I have two kids. I have a boy who's nine and a daughter who is seven. Fun.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

And do you homeschool?

SPEAKER_00 0:56

I do homeschool. We have actually homeschooled since the get-go. So I used to be a public school teacher back in the day, feels like a lifetime ago. Um, and then my son would have been going to kindergarten in 2021 and everything was what it was. And I said, you know, he's a summer birthday. Let me just homeschool a year. Because we would have held him to be a little bit later, you know, so it was older when he went into kindergarten. So we homeschooled for a year and I was sold. I was like, this is how I want to do life. It's so flexible. We get so much time together. My husband's self-employed, I'm self-employed. So it just everything works fluidly.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Okay. So you were a teacher. Did you were you already planning on leaving teaching to become self-employed?

SPEAKER_00 1:45

So I left teaching before I got pregnant, which is very um not typical in teaching. I had a lot of people be like, Are you okay? And I was like, Yes, I I love being out in nature. I love being outside. I'm a very active person. Um, and I love kids. I truly have a heart for kids. So I loved teaching and I was tired of the politics and the emails and the inside all day. And I just felt trapped. And I was like, I I recognize that everybody thinks teaching is the ideal job when you have kids, right? Because you are on their same schedule. But I was like, maybe I maybe I just want to be home when I have kids. And so this isn't the ideal job for me. And so I left teaching a year, a year before I got pregnant with my son. And I was working in an insurance agency because my husband and I thought about starting that up, which is not the path we went down. But yeah, then I got pregnant and been blessed to be able to be home the whole time. Yeah. So, but I had an inkling because of the school district I taught in, wonderful academically. I just had an inkling I will want something different for our kids one day. But that was back before homeschool was the cool thing to do, you know, before everybody was doing it.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Yeah. So was this before COVID?

SPEAKER_00 3:01

This was pre-COVID. Yes. I left teaching in 2015. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

So I I have a couple of directions that I'd like to go with this interview. One being the, you know, what were some things that you saw inside the school system, but then also how you managed to work, uh, you know, do your own business and homeschool the kids. So like, and I've I've had so many teachers on, and I remember the first teacher I ever had on, I was like, oh my god, you left teaching to homeschool. Like, this is crazy. This is a diamond in the rough. And then over three years, I'm like, oh my goodness, there's so many teachers because you guys see it firsthand. It's not that you need a teaching degree to homeschool your kids or all that. Like you're seeing something that other parents just are not. And I I think when I talk to people that are hesitant to homeschool, like that's what I want to get across to them. Like, no, you don't understand. There's so many teachers that are like, I don't want this for my kids. And if they're saying that because they're seeing me every day, that you you might want to question it. So, like, if you and I you don't have to like bash the school or anything like that. Like you said, they were wonderful academically, but you didn't want it for your kid. What were like some of the things that you're like, this isn't the way?

SPEAKER_00 4:12

This is funny because I just had this conversation with a girlfriend last week who is also a teacher. And we said, when all the teachers leave the schools to homeschool their kids, does that not wake people up? Like, does that not wake people up? And so things that I saw, I was in a very liberal school district, and I would go to the district office and I saw you can read between the lines, I'm pretty observant, and you could see different ideals and missions and values that did not align with what I believed. And I had also taught previous to this in Texas for two years. So I had very different teaching experiences, very different environments in which I taught in Texas. I would say it was a lot of like sweet women who just loved kids and wanted to have as much time as possible with their kids but need to make money. That was the environment I was in in Texas. And for me, faith is very important. So a lot of faith-filled people. And then I got up here and I saw just it was a job for people and there were agendas coming through. And it, I just felt like there was heart missing. And I'm like, my kid can have A pluses all day long. But if they're not surrounded by people who care for their heart, I have a problem with that as a mom. And I knew I would even before I had kids. I always wanted to be a mom. And I knew sitting in there, I was like, well, if I am not at my optimal, sitting in a building under fluorescent lighting, round robin reading from a textbook, how's my seven-year-old boy gonna do this one day? You know, and so I had kind of said to my husband, I was like, I think, I think this might be a route we take. And granted, I was in probably the most um liberal forward district in our area. We also have, you know, some other great school districts around us. Um, but I just, my heart knew. I just knew. And so fast forward, we had our our son in 2016, COVID happened in 2020. I actually never put, he was very tall for his age, never put him in preschool, never did anything because I'm a teacher and I also know how fast time goes by and I just wanted to be home with them. And so I kind of already had the experience of doing a little preschool co-op group out of my house because I'm a very social person. And this is something I want homeschool parents to hear. If you're worried about the social and you've heard that phrase from people, right? Like, how will they be socialized? How do you want them socialized? I want them socialized with people who have similar values and morals, and they want more out of life than just status quo. So I'm gonna surround them with people who are also free thinkers, right? And so I had all these experiences. So when it came time for school, I was like, just let me try it. And because everything was so weird post-COVID, my husband was on board, and now it's just I couldn't imagine not doing it, to be honest.

When School Values Clash

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Yeah. Um, what were some and I I've had a gentleman, Spencer Taylor, he created a film called The Death of Recess. He was just on my podcast a couple weeks ago. I just watched that. That was such a cool interview, but you watched The Death of Recess?

SPEAKER_00 7:16

I watched it, and so the district that that gentleman talks about post-COVID that was known for having the art club. Do you remember this story? Post-COVID.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

The daughter committed suicide, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:31

That was the school district I taught in.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

No, yes. Oh, you just gave me chills.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

I just got chills too. This is very like aligned that we're talking, I feel like. It's wild how that lines up. So, so this is a district I taught in. So I saw people who were aligning with these things, and I was like, I will not be able to send my kid to school with this. I will do whatever it takes. I always tell my husband, I am the hardest worker in the room. If we need me to like make money from home, or you need me to help, or we need like I'll do whatever it takes to be able to be home with them, homeschool them, and and keep them out of places like that with people who have agendas like that. So that was the district I taught in.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Okay. And let me catch up any of the listeners that did not watch this film. And you can watch it on the Angel Network. So, like what I did, I don't have a subscription to Angel, although if we had the extra money, I would, because I love the Tuttle twins and they're on that. But they have a lot of great stuff on the Angel Network. But so I just paid for a month, and which is like way cheaper than even going to the movies. So it was like$8.99. And I got to watch the film. And what Spencer did is he went all over the world really to see how like how are they educating in Finland, how are they educating in China, comparing it to the United States. But he also went undercover at the NEA, which I didn't even realize that is a national education association. And what it is is the largest teachers' union that exists. So you as a teacher would like to pay your dues every paycheck, but they also get funding from Democrat politicians, and vice versa. They fund the Democrats during campaign season, and then they all just kind of funnel this money back and forth. And I mean, it makes, I think it was like half a billion dollars a year, something ridiculous in the way in the millions every year that this teachers' union makes. Now, when you think about your salary and how underpaid teachers are and understaffed and under-resourced, but yet there's so much money in these teachers' unions, it's sickening. But anyway, he went undercover at their convention and he recorded them. And it's all in this documentary that he created, this film, about how they do have agendas. And I think in their mind, they actually believe they're doing the right thing. They think parents like us who have good morals, like maybe faith-based or just that that, you know, there is an two X chromosomes or an X and a Y chromosome, you know, that like, hey, we're not going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

That's part of the problem. They really do believe they're in the right. And when people are that strong in their convictions and they're doing it with purpose behind them, they're almost relentless in their pursuit of what they'll teach. Sorry, not to interrupt.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Yeah, no, I love it. And so essentially what they're saying at this teachers' union convention is that we are there for the children to come to instead of their parents. If they need to tell us that they are the opposite gender, if they need gender-confirming whatever or gender-affirming drugs, if they want to take hormone blockers, like they are there to help the children through this process behind the parents' backs. So if and they think they are right. And I don't know what's right and what's wrong, but I know that's not how our family is gonna live. So that's just a background on it. So that's crazy that you were in that art district. And what that specific school district did was have an art club that they lure teacher kids into, thinking they're going after school to an art club. And then they kind of coax them into like, oh, are you feeling sad today? Are you feeling left out? Are you feeling this? Are you feeling that? Well, any adolescent is, most adults do too. They take a hold of their insecurities and then they coax them into saying this is the solution, maybe you're the opposite gender. And then they get hooked on these pharmaceuticals where the pharmaceutical companies are funding the NEA, and they're happy because it's coming back tenfold because these kids are getting on these drugs for the rest of their life.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

It's insane. It's absolutely insane. And what happened up there, I mean, it breaks my heart. Now it's like, I mean, it was 30 minutes from where we lived. And these the guest speakers they brought in, there's there's no way parents knew what was going on in this club and would have signed off on it. I forget what exactly it was, but it was something like a Satanist or a witch or something that was coming in teaching these, oh yeah, it was bad. It went on for multiple weeks before that girl committed suicide. And then they, you know, kind of shut it down. But it was so sad. So again, my beliefs, when you're partnering with a school district who's wrapped up in all that stuff, it goes so much deeper than just academics for me. And I'll die on the hill that it's important what we surround ourselves with, it's important who we surround ourselves with, it's important what we let go in and out of our mind. And this specifically wasn't going on when I was teaching back there, but they did stuff over the past few years. Like I used to teach fourth and fifth grade in an elementary school. So I was not in the middle schools where some of this other stuff was happening. But they would do genderbread men in fifth grade. This was not while I was there. Mind you, I would not have done this. There were many a days I shut my door and just like loved on kids and genderbread men. So we did a gingerbread man project when I was there. I can't even remember the details of it. Well, they pivoted after 2020 and it became a genderbread project talking about all the different kinds of genders that exist. 10-year-olds who are at the peak of learning about puberty, questioning everything, curious about how all this works. Yeah. So it's funny because I actually haven't shared this very in detail with people I know in real life because it feels like such a former life ago for me. And it felt so good to let it go. And there is literally, like if somebody's watching and they're questioning whether to homeschool or not, I want you to think about the level it will bring you to raise your children the way you want to do it, in peace with your family, in peace with the people you love, like something that aligns with your beliefs and your values and your faith. And then what you're doing is you're giving them a concrete foundation. And your children are spending their childhood starting to put up the foundation of their house or the walls, rather. My husband does construction stuff. So they're they're putting up the scaffolding, they're putting up the wood. But what gets laid before that is a concrete foundation. Like, what do you want in that foundation? And so these younger ages, it's such a precious time to hold your kids tight and to make sure they know what's right and wrong, how to treat people, how to respectfully, because we're always big on respect in our house, respectfully disagree with an adult, right? You know, and how to how to handle it. Like we are on the front lines, right? You think about military and war, like we're the front lines with our kids. So when a topic comes up that's controversial or they see something out in public or they read something or a YouTube video pops up, or whatever it is, look what I saw, or mom, dad, what do you, you know, and we get to talk through it. Our kids don't get to grow up not in this world, right? But they do not have to partner with the way this world operates.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Wow. Yeah, that's beautifully said. And that's just one of the reasons I'm sure that you were like, hey, this isn't what I want for my kids, but because you said you left even before that situation took place. So it's like our teaching that and when I just think back to 2022 when I was like on Facebook, hey, vermectin might work for COVID, guys. And that was like, shut down. Oh my God, we're not friends with Cheryl anymore. Your your YouTube's banned, your TikTok is banned. It's like, okay, so there's that science that they didn't agree with, but then we can do ginger gender bread mess.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Gender, gender bread.

IEP Labels And Classroom Limits

SPEAKER_01 15:10

So that's okay with 10 year olds, but you can't talk about ivermectin, which has won the Nobel Prize for like most safest drug out there being effective for COVID, even though doctors were saying it's effective for COVID. It just that right there, you're like, okay, there's an agenda. There's something else going on here, Paypal. So there's that. What about the like the learning environment and like just having so many kids in a classroom? Is it I mean, I remember we had like maybe 20, 25 kids when I was younger, but we I also don't remember like the autism and the there were some special needs kids, you know, they were in a separate, but it was small. It was like maybe five, 10 kids. Now, is that more prevalent? Is it harder to teach a classroom today?

SPEAKER_00 15:58

You know, all I know is my experience, and it was pre-being a mom, right? Which I think you come at things differently after being a mom to your own kids because you understand it from a parent's point of view, which when you're 23 and don't have your own kids, you don't. But what I will say is when I taught in Texas, academically it was not as the not as advanced, but there wasn't this like focus on special needs and all of this. We gave the kids what they needed, um, but it was a very loving environment, very simple for lack of a better term. When I came up here, I mean, again, academically, they're amazing. You know, it's it's interesting, I think, too, when you go by regions like here, we have a ton of charter schools and core knowledge schools and STEM schools, and Colorado has tons of different kinds of schools that you can put your kids in. I specifically have always had a heart for kids who were struggling and for the underdog because I don't other people just pass them through IEPs in prison and kept them moving along. And I was like, hold up, hold up. Like, like, even if, even if they're not gonna start a company one day, but they're gonna go have a job at Target, they're gonna function with the rest of society. So it's a double-edged sword, right? Because I as a teacher, yes, it's harder to have like these high need kids in your classroom, but also like we go to a co-op right now, we have a special needs kiddo in there. That is one of my daughters at seven years old, her favorite buddies. We have never had a conversation about him being different, looking different, having different skills. That that's just her buddy. And she just adores him. And I love that compassion that my children are being introduced to because that's how we're meant to love people, right? Is just not blindly, but but blindly, like just love and care for people and help them in the area. Some kids are gonna need help in the classroom, some kids are gonna need a little bit of help at recess because they don't have that muscle memory yet to do the monkey bars or to play soccer. And I think, I think having your children around kids who are a little bit different develops that compassion. Now, to your point, yes, I was the teacher who would sit in the IEP meetings and tell parents, like in a in a in a uh polite way, like they need sunshine. They don't need two hours of homework after school. They need sunshine, probably less video games. Like now, as a mom, like, hey, let's let's not feed them red food dye all the time. Let's like be mindful of what's in their lunch, mindful of eating a good breakfast, like all of those things play into it. But I feel like once kids are in that system, and I always tell parents, I'm like, if you're super concerned with their reading, take them to a reading specialist outside the school. If you're super concerned, like you work with them. And granted, that's easy for me to say because I have a teacher heart, and that is that's my gifting, but you work with them because once they have that 504 IEP label on them, it's very hard to get off. And they keep getting wrapped in the system, wrapped in the system, pushed to the next specialist teacher, pushed into this program, and then they're pulled out of the normal classroom. And what ends up happening, in my view, is they don't have all the time to do the fun stuff because that's when they're off getting their special classes. And so then they miss out on these fun parts. Yes, they miss out on the fun parts of the day that they need. They need that. They need the, and I'm not even saying like PE and art, but like my classroom when I was a teacher, we had classroom economy. It was the last 30 minutes of a day. Kids could start up their own little businesses and make things. Well, that was when the special ed kids had to go to their class and do their thing. And I dare say they would have gotten a lot more out of being in my entrepreneurial-minded classroom for 30 minutes than going and doing more reading logs and more quizzes on a computer, you know? And so that part of the system always broke my heart. And I know I have a I have a sweet, sweet friend at the co-op my kids are at now, and she's a little bit older than us. And she said she used to do special ed at a junior high. And she said that she was helping this kid work him along. Like, hey, you like you have to take notes. I'm not going to do everything for you. If you want to move further along in seventh grade next year, you got to do some of this. They're not going to do it for you. So he started learning and he started taking notes on his own and started doing some of these things that will be required of him in the real world, right? And the supervisor came in one day and was like, why are you doing that? You don't even know how to do that. And she took the paper and started doing it for him. That was it for the rest of the year. He never would take notes on his own again. He never would do anything because we're spoon feeding every like if you're born and something's a challenge, you're gonna have to live with that and work with that. So, like, let's let's foster an atmosphere that really helps you and will help you become a functioning adult instead of just limping you along and not really helping you. And so I there's so many things. I mean, in Texas, we had our class sizes maxed at, I think it was 22 kids, which was reasonable. Up here, I would end up with 25 to 27 kids in my class sometimes. It's a lot. Now I see how quickly my kids and I get school done. And I'm like, how did I ever do this with 25 different little brains? You know what I mean? Running in a gazillion directions.

Working While Homeschooling Is Possible

SPEAKER_01 21:03

I used to think that you couldn't work and homeschool, but after interviewing over 200 families now, if you've been a listener for that long, yes, that's actually how many it is. I realized that it's not true. People are working and homeschooling. It just looks different than we expect. I started noticing the patterns, the resources, the schedules that people were using to actually make homeschooling while working work. And I put everything that I've learned into a course called How to Work and Homeschool, even as a single parent. Yes, you heard that right. Even as a single parent. If this is something that you've been trying to figure out and would really just like it laid all out for you, check out the link in the show's description.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

The modern day classroom was meant to create the workforce, right? Like it was meant to create the workforce, not individual thinkers who can truly work at their pace.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Right. And yeah, I I really like what you said about the kids should integrate with all different. Different kinds of needs and you know, learn compassion through that. I think the problem in the school district is when you throw all these kids in and expect them to all do the same level, and then you're testing them on it. You know, it's like if they were if they were all in the environment like your co-op, you are just having fun learning. There's not a standardized test at the end of it to stress them out with. And and you are outside, you're not under the fluorescent lights. I'm wondering if the kids that do act up, because it's just that maybe they had so much red dye 40 this week. They cannot sit. They literally cannot sit and function. They're the ones acting up because they're in an environment that's not letting them release that. It's a hundred percent. Yeah, it's not that they need a lower level class, it's that they just need that time to run. They need better food that isn't clouding the way their brain, you know. Basically, when you think of like the high fructose corn syrup, the red dye 40s, they're you're putting that in their body and then not letting them run and get it out. It's like a little volcano erupting.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Listen, my kids don't go to a birthday party nowadays. And, you know, like we try to do really good within our four walls. I also am like, I I'm not gonna be that mom who says you can't have a cupcake at a birthday party, right? And so when they go eat something or do something that's not our huge, they run it off because that's what they need to do. You know, listen, I didn't even, without eating the junk, without even eating whatever, as an adult in my 20s, I didn't like sitting still all day, constantly walking my classroom. How can we expect children to thrive in an environment like that? They won't. They just won't.

Colorado Options For Flexible Schooling

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Right. It's yeah, the environments are just not set up today. They haven't changed, other than we're just making kids sit longer and for more days a year in that same seat and taking away more recess time. But yet it it just it blows my mind that it hasn't evolved more. But like you said, there are other schools in Colorado. Are they schools that like your tax dollars cover or are parents paying for private school?

SPEAKER_00 24:00

So we have we have all of it. I mean, and that is one really nice thing up here. You have a lot of options. So the public school systems will fund charter schools, they fund STEM schools, they there's even a couple homeschool programs up here. Like we have one where you get one day a week and it's funded by public schools, and it's for homeschool kids to go in and do different, they can do like cake decorating and Lego robotics and you know, whatever. And so they have options like that for us. And then, of course, we have the private schools, and then we've opted for which we've opted this year and the past two years for a co-op that's also like a hybrid school. So they can go two days a week or four days a week. I love our co-op. It feels like a giant family, it's like started up by an individual family on someone's private property. Like people would not even know it's there, which is so cool. Like, I love it. But they have a separate school building and the kids go and they've got combined classes. We have the most amazing teachers. Next year, we're actually moving into just full homeschool because we have built such an amazing community. I want my flexibility back of not staying on a calendar because we have so many friends that I'm like, oh, we're trying to stay on calendar, and I'm kind of ready to like be able to move freely with our schedule. And so that's one thing too. Like, you can find your fit. And I will tell people, I know this is a homeschool podcast, but I get asked a lot because I've been doing this since the beginning with my kids. Should I homeschool? I feel like I should homeschool. And I think people see things on the internet and they read things and they automatically are like, I need to do that. And I always tell parents, I'm like, you really got to think about it, you got to pray about it, and you got to make sure it's what's right for you. It's right for us for so many other reasons than just sticking it to the school system and getting our kids out of there. It also is a schedule that we love. It works well for my kids. When my kids go to a park or playground, they can run off and find buddies within two minutes. When we go to the indoor pools that we have, they will find the other kids who are in there and make friends. I think too, it's like uh I wanna I wanna speak to the mom right now. I just feel like somebody's listening who can't afford to do homeschool right now. And I want her to know it's gonna be okay. You can move your life into a direction that is homeschool, but it's okay in the meantime. You can take care of your kids, you can teach them their values, you can teach them to be a light in a dark place, but keep moving the needle forward because the freedom that homeschool affords you is worth so much. Because I feel like that's I hear that a lot from people. They're like, but I can't do it yet. And that's, I know you wanted to talk about this. Like, there's so many options because most of us were brought up in public school and taught like doctor, lawyer, teacher, like what you know, like just these basic jobs. We don't know, or we forget there's other ways to make money as a parent. And like, if you can just keep inching it, nothing happens overnight. If you can keep inching yourself towards that life of freedom in work, in play, in school, it becomes this beautiful life that you were meant to live.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

And I can attest to that. Yeah, I worked for the government for 16 years and I did not think that I would be homeschooling or even quitting a government job, just like you. Like I'm gonna leave this teaching job with this perfect schedule. And it was like, I'm gonna leave a pension. But yeah, I did. And the podcast, you know, that doesn't make money. But I just I'm I'm coming out with a course this week actually on how to work and homeschool based off of talking to all of you wonderful homeschooling families and hearing how you do it and then doing it myself, like putting it together, walking people through it. And I know you started your own business too, so we'll get into that. If your kids are still in school right now for the rest of the year, whatever, as long as you talk to them about that's why I back the Tuttle Twins book so much, because it's like, that's like your kid is in school and being exposed to things. But if you're coming home and reading good books together, having good conversations together, taking walks together, playing board games together, like you're you can undo any damage the school system has done just through that time. But, you know, they make us so busy that we feel like, oh, well, we have to get to soccer practice and then we have to do this on the weekend, and we have to that way we forget to actually just be together and you know, read a book together, even if they can read.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

All right, you read yours and I'll read mine, and then let's talk about it at the end, or let's read it aloud together anyway, or it's being intentional and it's a it's a lot of what our society has gotten away from. And it's funny because you look online, and even as a mom, this can be overwhelming. You look online and there's a million ways to get organized, and there's a thousand different ways to get disciplined. And and I think sometimes we forget to just keep it simple. Like, like you said, find a book your family can connect on, find music that you all love and enjoy. Like I know for us, sometimes, like we love being social, all of us. And so sometimes I will intentionally, as a mom, I am the gatekeeper of our schedule. Okay. I will block off a weekend. Like this weekend, we're having a family weekend, and we've had opportunities to go do things and invitations, and I love that. And I'm grateful we have those. I'm so grateful. But sometimes we we just bought an acreage property two years ago. You need to just go run in the dirt and do hard work that makes you sweat and have the life lessons and hard conversations that come along with don't be lazy and you have to help. And this is our family property and and and and you go be with your animals. And I think I think sometimes we don't slow down enough to find the places to be intentional. But even if you're still walking that line of like being in public school but having a heart to homeschool, don't give up because the distractions of sports and all that, it'll keep you going from year to year, not actually making a change when really there's job opportunities, there's other families homeschooling. Schooling can be pretty darn inexpensive if you want it to be. And then you'll get into it and you'll get hooked on these curriculums, and you're like, but it's there, there's so many ways to baby step into it. So don't let fear keep you from trying it. And I think that's one thing. I don't know if you found this as a homeschool mom. Once you homeschool, you realize how much power you have over your family's life routine schedule, public school is gonna be there. Private school options are gonna be there. Homeschool is gonna be there. So I always tell people we take it a year at a time. How's our family doing? What's our sports situation? What's our financial situation? What's our friend situation? We take it all a year at a time and we make the best decision that works for all of us.

Co-Ops That Fit Real Life

SPEAKER_01 30:34

I love that. And can you talk to us a little bit about your co-op and like what that might look like for a parent that isn't homeschooling yet and are like, oh, well, you know, just like you said in the beginning, we have to keep them social. Because I love how you talked about we do our co-op and we love our co-op, but we do want our schedule back. And we've done a co-op as well. And I had to like, I was forced to teach like gym class. I'm like, are you kidding? I was picked last in gym every time. So it actually gave me a lot of anxiety, and we did not do a co-op again. But we do different things like play groups that meet, you know, once a week, whether it be different parks or a different activity going on. And we go sometimes and we don't go sometimes. And um, you know, just different friends that like, okay, well, these ones meet up every Monday, and so we try to make that. Oh, but uh there always seems to be now it's ukulele is on Wednesdays, and my daughter's in gymnastics, and that's Thursdays. So it's like, even without a co-op, and my kids are still young, like things seep into your week, and before you know it, it's like, oh my goodness, it's a Friday night again. But can you tell us, like, first of all, what your co-op days look like? Like, what are they learning? Are they um educational based or are they fun based? I mean, they those should be the same thing, right? Essentially, but you know what I mean. And like what the difference what the difference in the two-day and the four-day are, and do you have to do extra things beyond the co-op educational-wise?

SPEAKER_00 31:54

Okay, so let me start with our very first co-op that we started with. Um, because we've now done a couple. So, well, I guess there's been three. Very first, I led something out of my house. Don't overcomplicate it, you guys. Oftentimes, if you can't find what you're looking for, you're it. Okay, you're the answer. You are meant to create it. That is that is a common theme in my life that I'm like, okay, we'll just we'll just go do this thing. But if what you want doesn't exist, you have the capability to do it and to put that together. And there's another mom out there waiting for you to do that. So that's number one. So I did like a preschool co-op at my house. Um, we got way more organized over the course of two years of doing this. That that was great, you guys. We did you can do it twice a month or four times a month. If you do it every week, highly recommend doing one week that is a field trip week or park day, so you don't get overwhelmed having to host at your house every week. I did topics. So I sat down over summertime and we did like marine animals one month. We did farm the next month, we did write topicals. And then I had a mom who was a math mom, a science mom, a craft, and then a snack mom. Anyway, so these moms would plan based off the topic and calendar. I came up with all the activities. So then I got to lead like song, music, all the stuff at the beginning, and then they would go into their little things. And it was fun because we kind of started getting a feel. Because, gosh, when I started this, my daughter was probably two and my son was four. And so we got a feel for the ages of the kids, and the moms would cater the lessons to that age. And so that was really cool because they would make harder math and easier math and whatnot an option for mamas out there looking for something, but it doesn't exist yet. We did a public school, I want to say sponsored, it was through a charter school, but public school funded homeschool program. That was not the best fit for us. It was one fun day a week, all day on a Friday, because it was a classical style program. And so it was fine in kindergarten. And then it the next year when my son went to go back, I was like, you guys are listening to someone read a book for 45 minutes. Like, this is not fun. And so I wanted his fun day away to be fun and not classical style. I like some of the classical style curriculum, not for our fun day. We are a fun, very active family that was not a good fit for us. And so we left there. Now where we're at, it's really more of a hybrid school. When I say co-op, it's because I love being up there helping and because it feels like family. It really more is a hybrid school. So it's a small environment. They have like kinder first combined, second, third, fourth, fifth. And I think I believe they go all the way up to sophomores in high school. Okay. So we have teachers. You can go two days a week or four days a week. All of those are academic. So right now we go two days a week on so Monday, Wednesday, our kids go from 8:30 to 1.30. And I get I get a calendar from the teachers. So if somebody is wanting to baby step in homeschool, but they're concerned they won't do a good job picking out curriculum, or they're busy and they are trying to work from home, and it's not necessarily a job you can zip in and out of, this is a great option. And so, and our co-op is very flexible because if one semester they're doing two days a week and then you're like, they really want to be there four, they'll they'll work with you and let you do that. They offer after school specials for an hour from 1:30 to 2:30, and they can do art, music, cooking, they have PE classes, like whatever the parents around want to come teach. Um, we're not doing any of those currently because we get really busy with sports, and my kids also raise goats. And so I'm like, you got to get home and help with tours and baby goat life and all the things. But yeah, that's there's so many options out there once you start exploring them.

Business Seasons And Debt Freedom

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Yeah, absolutely. I I love hearing about all the different options too. So I was excited to get into that with you. Um, okay, and then how are you balancing working? You said that you started a business. What do you want to talk about that a little bit and how you balance that with the rest of it?

SPEAKER_00 36:06

Sure, I would love to. So my husband has a home inspection business. He started that uh the week before I got pregnant with my daughter. So we have had that business now, oh my gosh, eight years, nine years. We've had that a long time. I have always bounced in and out of different things. When I was home, my husband's like, I really need you to make like 500 bucks a month. I'm like, okay, we can do this. So when my son was a baby, I sold clothing with a network marketing company, and I it just happened to hit that at the right time, and it was a huge blessing for our family. Um, I would stay up late and do live sales and pictures and work during nap time. And then, long story short, I jumped into having my own clothing boutique from home, which was really, really fun. Um, it was kind of the job everybody's like, I want to do that. Really fun, but it was a lot. I was shipping orders, running my website, keeping my accounting stuff. I was the buyer. I was going to shows on the weekend to sell. And so when we got, it was a lot. It's not just, oh, you get cute free clothes. Like it was a lot. And so when we bought our rural property, I my husband and I just looked at each other and we're like, I think we're done. We don't necessarily need this financially right now. And I want to be home on the weekends, like with our animals, with you guys. I don't want to be racing to another show to set up because I had a mobile boutique. So we had turned a camper into a boutique. Um, I was like, I don't want to do that, you know, and I I didn't want to be married to my website like constantly on my computer. So I sold my clothing boutique and then I started with a network marketing company. I said I would never do that. I thought it was so cringy. I thought it was a step down from having my own brand, my own thing. My ego was like so in my head. What are people gonna think of me?

SPEAKER_01 37:47

It is the biggest what is network marketing? What is that?

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Okay, so network marketing means that you use your network to market to. So right now, I work for a shampoo company called Monate. But you guys, I am a networker. I love helping moms find community. I am around people all the time. We're at the playground, we're at the co-op, we're at sports, I'm always doing snacks and helping other people at church and whatnot. So in network marketing, I get to just promote promote the shampoo that I love, and you make money from that. And I coach women in business. So I lead a team of women all over the country who also do the same thing. It is a great fit for me because my husband and I, this a whole other side of us that we haven't even delved into, but we love doing life debt-free. And it is my life's passion to help other families be debt-free because I see the shackles that debt puts on you. And I see that it keeps you from things that offer freedom, like wanting to quit your job and start a business, like wanting to homeschool, like having moms stay at home. So I love helping people find debt freedom. So I had already spent so many years helping women start businesses and make a little bit of money from home and work through their budgets. So now doing network marketing, it is this beautiful merging of getting to sell a fun product and getting to coach women on how to do a business from home. And I'm not a lot of people on Instagram will show you how pretty their life is and how unchaotic and how whatever. And I hear from people all the time, Ash, you're busy. And I'm like, yeah, that's it is a beautiful, busy, full life. And that's what I always tell people. It's not without chaos behind the scenes sometimes. We're you know this working and homeschooling is not for the faint of heart. It is you move schedules around, you're I think the lie is that we always have a balanced life, right? And that's not true. Sometimes you're pouring a lot more into your business, and homeschool is just getting school done, right? And then go play. And sometimes you're doing these great field trips and you're starting a co-op and you're doing all these wonderful things, but you're not making as much in your business. And I think learning how to be okay, that life ebbs and flows in different seasons is the key to being able to work as a homeschool mom.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

Yeah, I definitely agree with that because, you know, I do put the homeschool, like the bookwork. I'll say the bookwork. That's on our back burner. But my kids are seven and three. So, like my three-year-old, we don't do anything. I mean, like I'll ask her to be today, what's that letter? You know, that's the extent of our book work. It's not that we're sitting down with an open book. It's just like there's a letter on the wall. Hey, what's that one? You know, let's see what she knows. Yeah, yeah. Or I'll be playing a game with my son and she wants to learn how to play. So it's okay, well, we're counting this part, you know, so it's like within life. And that's homeschool, you know. But I I don't think until we get that mind shift in people that like that is enough. You don't need, you can do the other stuff as long as your kids like it. It's not like you're failing if you do it. Wonderful if they enjoy it. But if they don't, there's no need because even the pro like I had Dr. Peter Gray who wrote Free to Learn on my podcast a couple weeks ago. And he's just his kids and he like did so much research on what kids learn when they learn. And it's like, they'll learn anything they want to learn if they want to learn it. You just provide the tools to maybe facilitate how to get there when they're young and teach them how to do it. But it yeah, and and my son, it's like, okay, do we have time today? We got 45 minutes today. All right, let's do some, you know, reading and some math. And if not, he's still learning all day long. And like you said, when you're going to these homeschool things, like last week, it was the group that we meet with, they met at a thing that I never would have gotten tickets to. I mean, they were free tickets. It was at this thing in Albany, New York called the Egg. So it's just kind of like a cool building itself. It's down at the Capitol. So even just like teaching them like, well, we have to find parking. And that sign says we can't we can't park for more than two hours. So now we gotta go look for something else. And, you know, showing them how that process works and then finding the location and then the show, I it was odd. But um it was a cool experience and something I never would have done on my own. So that's what I do love about like the co-op slash groups that you know, play groups that meet up, or they'll go to a park that I never would have done on my own, or they'll go on a nature trail I never would have done. So I do love it for that too. And it's like there are staples in our week that I always make sure, you know, my work is set aside. We're doing those staples. If you have like friends that you want to meet up with every Monday, we're making sure that we do that. But if, you know, if I have to do work and you'd rather I don't know, they'd rather me, I don't I don't even know what.

Dropping Mom Guilt With Teamwork

SPEAKER_00 42:32

I want to camp out there for a second though, because this is something that I think people will people will look and they'll almost maybe they won't make you feel guilty. Maybe you feel guilty because you're like, I'm trying to work and like I should just dig into my kids all the time. I I have found because my kids are a little bit older, they're nine and seven. We have conversations all the time of you know what, like we work as a team, at it, like even when we're walking out the door, putting our shoes on. All right, team, let's go. Because we do work as a team. And in order for a team to work, sometimes the focus is on a different player a little bit more during practice, right? Somebody's got the ball at different points during the game. And so sometimes I will tell my kids, and this might sound harsh, but I'll say it's not about you right now. I'm doing, like I also started a women's ministry a year ago. We put on our first conference last fall. It became bigger than anything I had in mind, which is such a blessing. God is so good, but now I have this and I love it and it's wonderful. But now I have meetings to set up our next conference, and I'm making sure I have that email and those books and all the, you know, all the things that go into having a nonprofit done. And I'll tell the kids, I'm going to a coffee meeting. It's not about you right now. So if you need help on your work, you're gonna have to wait a minute and do one of the other activities you brought with you. But then this afternoon, when we go to the park, it's about you. And I will push you on the swings and we'll grab an ice cream and we'll play with our friends, and it's gonna be about you. And tonight you have soccer practice. Well, that's about You, the entire family switched around our dinner time and got out the house for you. So you can show that same respect back to mom and dad when we have a work engagement. And I think growing up with kids who are entrepreneurs, and this doesn't have to just be entrepreneur parents, it's just our case. Man, you teach them that mutual respect that like the world does not revolve just around you. And I think that's a really big lesson there for kids because that's going to be the rest of their life. But man, when it is about you, we're all here to cheer you on, get out the door on time, make sure the snacks are packed, and like let's go. And I I love that. And it's kind of taken some of the guilt away from me that like I'm just a person who is living out the assignment on my life too. And we're all doing our best to fulfill each other's assignments together. Love that.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

I love that. And I I'm I'm gonna reword it like that to my kids because yes, that makes so much sense. Even yeah, and the example that I was trying to think of earlier, I was recording a video for the Tuttle twins. It is the way that we, you know, make some extra money so that we have the money to do the things like the a tri a couple days in Florida that didn't come out of dad's paycheck, that came out of mom's. And so it's like my son wanted to, he wanted me to go outside because he made a track for his remote control vehicle. And I was like, I can't right now. I'm recording. I will do it later. Oh, but mom, it's gonna be dead later. I was like, all right, well, charge the thing up now and I don't go outside and stare at me through the window. I don't know what you want to do. But now is not the time I can come out, and I should have worn it like that. And I I'm gonna start because I love that. It's not about you right now, it's about me. We have and I I try to get up at 5 30 every morning, but you know, you get up at 5 30 and there's dishes that still need to get done, and there's laundry that still needs to get put away. And it's like, ah, so, or like you get to the thing you need to do, and then four other things just pop up, and then you forgot what you even got up at 5 30 to do. Let's that is life, and they are learning by watching you do all that.

SPEAKER_00 45:58

And as they get older, I will I will tell you this like my husband and I just had this conversation this morning before the kids got up. It does get easier. Like as they can do more, like we did a family work day outside yesterday. They helped paint this part of the chicken coop we needed to repair, they helped drive the four-wheeler down to the brush pile to haul sticks, like things they can't quite do yet in your season, you're gonna blink and they're there. And so it's I very much love that you get up early though, because I always tell moms, if you homeschool, you've got to find that time first thing in the morning for yourself. I religiously have gotten up in the five o'clock hour since before I had kids, right? And it ebbs and flows when they're babies and you don't get a good night's sleep. But that time to fill your cup before everyone else gets up allows you to be more patient, allows you to be more present, and it allows you to like get organized. Like I keep a notebook by myself in the or by my in the morning while I'm either drinking coffee, reading my Bible, or working out or whatever, because it's a juggle to get all that done, right? It doesn't always happen every morning. But I'm like, what do I need to not forget? What do I need to not forget? And I like religiously have these notepads because when I feel more organized and like I've got my stuff together, like I'm a better mom, I'm a better teacher. And sometimes it's just chaotic. And you know what? That just they will understand that when they're a parent one day.

SPEAKER_01 47:21

Sometimes that's just like yes, and I and I'm working too on like that self-regulation, not letting my emotions like pop out of my mouth. We all are, sister. We all are. Even that is teaching my kids because when I do it, and it used to be more, but like you said, they get older too. And I think my son has just maybe matured a little bit. Yeah. Um, you know, and it's okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have exploded on you like that. I am very frustrated. And I think my son said something to me last week. I asked him, I said, When we get home, you have to go put away your clothes because he hides them in his closet and they look like they're in a they look dirty. They're in so the one day I took them back out and put them in the washer because he's hiding his clothes in the closet in a dirty camper. So I'm like, you gotta do that. And he said, I can't wait till I'm an adult and I just like lost it. I was like, Do you know how much more fun it is to be a kid, a homeschooled kid, no less. And I like lost it out of.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

But listen, we have had many of these same episodes in our house. And my newest thing is great, I'm so glad you think that'll be fun. Let's go learn how to use the washer. And then I make them do it. And I tell them anytime they're having a day like that, where they're like, ugh, I'm like, you are welcome to cook your meals and wash your clothes and do the day. I think we've lost some of that too. I think the schools have lost a little bit of that accountability on both ways for teachers, for kids, for like people in general, have lost the accountability that like we need to respect the people taking care of us, writing our paychecks, the people taking care of our meals, right, for our kids. And I think it's okay to call them out on that and say, like, you, you know what, you can, you're seven, you can make a PB and J on your own. And if that's what you would like to eat for the next week, I'm happy to abandon what I'm doing and you can do you, buddy. And I think when you're I always tell people, when you're a homeschool parent, you don't have whether I I think it would be a very difficult thing to have. I'm sure some people almost feel like it's a luxury. You don't have the luxury of having a hard morning and then they go off for the day and you can kind of decompress. You don't get that time. And so I remember I started just saying having my kids sit down in separate rooms and I would walk away because I would just need that time to decompress for two minutes to calm my head, calm the words that wanted to fly out of my mouth so badly. But then I would have to explain to them why it made me so upset, what was wrong. And I do feel like all of those hard days, all of those lessons have turned into really mature kids because we had to discuss it and we had to get to the other side of the hard conversation. And that's one of the most beautiful things that I think can happen for a family is having to work through the hard together.

Legacy Planning For Emergencies

SPEAKER_01 50:06

Yeah, absolutely. Ashley, the hour is running up. This has been such a cool conversation from beginning to end. Is there any like parting words that you want to leave parents with or any like shampoo you want to tell us about? And I can link anything in the show's description too. But any, what would you like to leave us with?

SPEAKER_00 50:26

Oh my gosh, you're so sweet. Well, I will say, please follow me on Instagram. My handle is Mrs. Mrs Ashley Martinez. Very simple. I've got a link tree I'll send you to. If you guys want the shampoo, it's amazing. I went down this rabbit trail of cleaner products when I started using this. My hair was so fine and thin that I couldn't do anything to grow it. And so now I'm like, the fact that it's even like past my shoulders is such a win for me. So if you want great products, like I'm happy to help you. If you want to make money from home, that is like that is my expertise, you guys. And that is what I do pretty much is coach other homeschool moms on how to make money from home, but how to do it in a way that aligns with your family time-wise. Um, and then if you keep following me, I haven't really announced this to the world yet, but there are really, really exciting things coming for a future business for my husband and I this year. I don't want to give away all the secrets, but um, it is very legacy-minded. Last summer, we had a family member pass away all of a sudden. Um, he was in his 40s, left behind two boys, and it really woke us up to that. Families need to have a plan. Families need to make sure they have a will lined out, they have plans for their kids, they have access to bank accounts. You are sharing that stuff that there's, you know, communication with your jobs. And so we are developing something that is going to help families be prepared for anything. If your husband needs the Wi-Fi password and doesn't know it, it's in this. If you, if something unexpectedly happens to both of you, this is an open and closed guide that somebody could literally look at your whole life and have a roadmap. And so, anyway, that is like the first time I'm speaking that out past just friends and family, but it is coming very soon. So follow me for when that comes out.

SPEAKER_01 52:15

No, I that is so wise. And I've thought about that too. Like we try to keep an envelope in our gun cabinet, but it's like, well, if something happened to both of us, who the hell is getting in the gun cabinet? They they don't know the passwords. Yeah. So yeah, and it's like, okay, then who's taking the kid? And both of you know who's who's getting custody of the kids? God forbid something happened to both of us. Not that we go anywhere together, but if we ever one day go on a date, well, what would you do? You got this today is coming. Yeah. Yeah. And it's and then it's also like, okay, we have, you know, an account set up for the kids for this, for each child, but then grandma also has one. And you know, like, we're not gonna remember that when they're 18. So is there a place to put all the information for all the accounts set up to for that? Yeah, I love this idea. I love this, loves this, love it. Ashley, thank you so much. I'll link everything in the show's description if anybody wants to check that out. Thank you so much for being here today.

SPEAKER_00 53:10

Cheryl, thank you for having me. This was just such a wonderful conversation and props to you for having all these families on and just sharing because I think a lot of people need that reinforcement before they can take the jump. And so I love how you just give them all the resources. So thank you for letting me be a part of it.

SPEAKER_01 53:28

Thank you. And thank you for rescheduling because I had contacted her the day before we were supposed to schedule. And I was like, I'm sorry, we're putting our dog down and we want to take him to the beach one last time. So you reschedule for me, and he got to go to the it wasn't the ocean, like he's you know, we used to take him to Maine every year. Oh wow. But we took him to the state park, so he did. He went to the he couldn't really walk. I thought he would walk in the water. He didn't, but he laid on the sand and he got an ice cream cone. So that's a good look for rescheduling.

SPEAKER_00 53:54

Oh my gosh, of course.

Closing Thanks And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 53:56

Thank you for listening to the Homeschool How To Podcast. If today's episode helped you, please be sure to follow the show and leave a review. It's the best way to support the podcast. And if you're just getting started or need a reset, head to thehomeschoolhouttu.com and grab my free 30-day homeschool quick start guide. Until next time, keep learning, keep questioning, and thank you for your love of the next generation.