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The Homeschool How To
I don't claim to know anything about homeschooling, so I set out on a journey to ask the people who do! Join me as I chat with homeschoolers to discuss; "why are people homeschooling," "what are all the ways people are using to homeschool today," and ultimately, "should I homeschool my kids?"
The Homeschool How To
#180: Why This Former Teacher Had to Unlearn Everything
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What if the best thing you could do for your homeschool is put the worksheet down?
In this episode of The Homeschool How To Podcast, Cheryl sits down with Kaitlin Zara, former public school teacher, homeschool mom of two boys, and host of the Homeschool Connections podcast, to talk about what she saw from the inside of a classroom that changed how she teaches her own kids now.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why Kaitlin had to unlearn her formal teacher training to homeschool her own kids
- How hands-on experience — like dissecting squid — teaches more than a worksheet ever could
- What changed in classrooms over the last decade, and why she didn't want that for her own kids
- Why she stopped turning every outing into a unit study
- Why letting your kids see the everyday chaos of family life is part of their education
- How the more you enjoy your own homeschool days, the more your kids enjoy learning
Whether you're brand new to homeschooling or years into it, this conversation is a reminder to stop overplanning and let the learning happen naturally.
Connect with Kaitlin:
Ready to homeschool but wondering where to start?
📘 Grab my book, So You Wanna Homeschool? Everything You Need to Know Before You Start
🎓 Need a step-by-step plan? Check out Cheryl's mini-course, How to Work and Homeschool
📚 Still wondering, "What do I actually teach?" My guide walks you through exactly what homeschool families focus on by age and subject.
If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who's considering homeschooling.
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Choosing Homeschooling The Hard Way
SPEAKER_02I didn't plan to homeschool. I started asking hard questions, realized how little control parents actually have, and made the hard decision to leave a government job to homeschool my kids. Now, I interview other homeschooling parents to learn how this all works. I'm Cheryl, and this is the Homeschool How to Podcast. Let's learn this together.
Meet Caitlin Zara And Why She Left
SPEAKER_02Today, I'm talking with Caitlin Zara. Caitlin spent years in the public school system as a teacher before she pulled her own kids out. So we talk about what changed her mind and honestly just how much pressure homeschool moms are putting on themselves to make every day look perfect when we just don't have to. This is a great one if you're feeling like you need some permission to like just chill out. Quick plug to I just redid my guide on what do I actually teach. So now I have a breakdown in there by grade. So you can see kind of the milestones that kids are hitting in school. You can decide if that works for you or if it doesn't, but at least you sort of have a comparison to run alongside with your homeschool. If you want to check that out, you can click on the link in the show's description or head on over to thehomeschoolhowto.com. All right, here's Caitlin. Welcome. And with us today, I have Caitlin Zara, podcast host and homeschool mom. I was on her podcast. I will link that episode in the show's description, but I am so excited to have her on the show today to hear her story. Caitlin, thank you for being here.
SPEAKER_00I'm ready to have a good time. Do you want to have a good time? I'm I'm ready to get into it.
SPEAKER_02You are such a better podcast host than me. Oh my god, you already have the morning voice going. You're you're No way. All the things to say. We are gonna have a great time. We're gonna be interrupted by about 12 children in the meantime, but that is how the homeschool moms do it. Absolutely. Until they get their work done. So, where did this life start for you? Did you always know that you wanted to homeschool?
SPEAKER_00It is one of my biggest, I give myself the ick. Do you know what that means to give yourself the ick, like you're disgusted? I give myself the ick that I was one of those people that thought homeschooling was weird or odd because I didn't know a single soul who homeschooled, and I didn't know anyone who knew anyone who homeschooled. So not even like a seven degrees of separation. I knew no one. And so for me, I'm in New York. I had two, I have two boys, right? Born in 2017 and 2020. And you can imagine what life turned into for us here in New York. You're in New York too, I know. Yeah. But I never thought of homeschooling. It wasn't on my radar. I was a public school teacher. And although I had a pull for being a mama and keeping my babies with me, I just took school as just the next part of life that was just a natural progression. I was gonna put them in school. I moved to the town where I was teaching because I thought the schools were great. And I thought, well, this is what we're gonna have to do. And then for many, many reasons, more than we have time for, life imploded in a lot of ways. And public school was not gonna be the choice for us. And I had two choices, Cheryl. I could move and leave my family, or I could homeschool. And I felt backed against a wall. I thought, okay, I've got to homeschool then. And at first, I thought that that was a scary decision. I didn't know if it was the right decision. And now I am just like you are, I am homeschooling's biggest champion, their biggest cheerleader. And again, I give myself the ick that I ever felt that way.
SPEAKER_02Well, and that's society, right? Like you don't know what you don't know. And when you say I was going to have to move, is that I assume because of our vaccine laws here? Did you change
COVID Era Roadblocks And Staying Put
SPEAKER_02your mind?
SPEAKER_00It was everything. It was everything.
SPEAKER_02Because it's 2020 is COVID.
SPEAKER_00So many, it was, it was all of the above. It was everything for me. So where there's one thing and you think I can jump that hurdle, I'll try to figure that out, I'll make a concession for that. It was one thing after the other that then there was just, it was seriously roadblock after roadblock telling me, go this way, turn towards homeschooling. It just there was nothing solvable. So yes, all of the above would have been easier in many other states. And I decided to stick it out and to stay. And it was a bold decision and a brave decision and terrifying at the beginning. And it was the greatest decision I've ever, ever, ever made.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I've thought about that too. Like maybe we could leave and go to Florida. But it's like, okay, if you uproot your whole life, leave your family, your home, your jobs, and then for what? What if what if politics changes in that? Absolutely. I mean, are you just gonna keep running from what people have made happen here? Like I'd rather be part of the change. And I think, I think homeschooling could be part of that change. If we do, you know, hopefully have a revamp of the education system for the future. I think the first step to get there is everybody pulling their kids out in homeschooling. So, you know, because what bigger message does that send is you're not gonna get the numbers anymore because you're not doing a good job. And like I said to somebody the other day, you know, they had asked, well, if you don't send your kids to school, do you still have to pay school taxes? Well, yes, you do. But you know what? The thing that's crazy is so they're taking our school taxes, but they're not being held to any standards either because we're seeing the illiteracy rates getting lower and lower and lower for high school graduates. Can you talk you said you have two boys, correct? Yes,
What Changed In Public School
SPEAKER_02yes. Can you talk to me a little bit about what you saw in the school system looking back now through a homeschooler's eyes? Because when you're in the system, I assume you're, you know, you you moved your kids there because you said this was a great system. You obviously thought at one time when you were in it that the school was a great school and things that they were doing were wonderful. Now that you're looking at it through the homeschooler's eyes and a mom's eyes, you know, was there anything that you saw that you're like, maybe that's not what I would have wanted for my kids in the first place?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I hear you. Well, homeschooling exemplifies the best parts of public school. And what I mean by that is I can still do all the things that I loved and I just do it differently and in a way that's structured just for my kids. So let me get into that a little bit. Now, my oldest is nine, so I have not been in the public school system for almost a decade. But within a decade, things have changed dramatically. So jump in that back to the future car with me. We're gonna go back a decade. School looked very different. There was a computer lab, there was one air-conditioned room with about 30 PCs, and you could sign up as a teacher on a written document to say you wanted that computer lab for one hour a week. Imagine how this sounds like otherworldly. It sounds like I'm talking about a hundred years ago. My kids would think this was the olden days, right? So there were no computers in the there was one computer in the classroom. There was no smart board when I started teaching. Then within a few years.
SPEAKER_02I don't even know what a smart board is. Is that like a computer that you write on and it shows up on the blackboard?
SPEAKER_00Correct, and it's tremendous. And then every classroom got one. We then got the Chromebooks, but there was a set, one set for the entire floor, which was fourth and fifth grade. I taught fourth grade. And so we all had to sign them out and we would get them occasionally. I might have used them once every few weeks, maybe once every few months, and that was only for typing up an essay. An essay that they had already written by hand and edited and peer-reviewed and conferenced with me, and we had done all the work on paper, and then we moved over to a computer just to type it up. That is as much computer time as we had, and I loved it that way. I think the way I taught was a great way to teach. I think the teacher that I took over for, they retired when she was 75. The way she taught was probably even better than my ways. And so now education is looking really different. The classroom looks really different. What I hear, although don't know it firsthand, is that kids are doing dissections on their Chromebooks and on their iPads. Not for me, not for me. My two boys are gonna get their hands dirty in guts. Thank you very much. And, you know, I think about kids using a smart board, they use their finger, you know, to drag manipulatives, like to drag uh coins over. No, we're gonna take out the dirty change from the bottom of my bag, we're gonna throw it on the kitchen table, and we're gonna learn about money. So education has changed so much. So when I was teaching Cheryl, there became this new thing that people would add to their lesson plans, and it was real life application. So you'd write out your lesson plan and you've get, you know, give your motivation, what how you were gonna get the kids pumped, and give your procedure of what you were gonna teach. But then we started to put in real life application, and that sounded so exciting, and it was something that I really took to. But it still always fell short. And
Real Life Learning Over Worksheets
SPEAKER_00this is what I mean. I did a lesson once on fractions, and I spent so much time cutting out pizzas and adding the pepperoni and the cheese in construction paper. And then the kids were looking at the different slices. Well and good. I was observed by the superintendent. She loved my lesson. But in my own homeschool, we make the damn pizza. You should make the damn pizza. You should be making a mess. Your kids should, you know, get their hands dirty. They should actually use scissors or one of those roller things and cut the damn pizza. So, what I mean by taking what I loved is we have 20 minutes of deer time, which is drop everything and read. You might remember this from your own time in school. I don't want to limit my reading to 20 minutes. Some days I want to read for five, and some days I want to get lost in a book with my kid for five hours. I want to make the pizza, I want to do all the things, and I want it to feel real and organic and natural.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and that I mean, that's almost something that people don't even bring up anymore because there are so many other like way in your face things like the shelter in place drills, which are you know, trauma basically. Yep. Or or the social emotional learning stuff and pushing that indoctrination in the schools, or the no uh recess time. It's just it's getting smaller and smaller and smaller every year. The longer days every year. Those are like the in-your-face differences. But so you don't hear a lot of people talking about what you're talking about, where it's like, yeah, it was cute because we did it in construction paper, but why couldn't we just do and now they're doing it on the computer? Why couldn't we just do the pizza itself? And it's funny as you're saying the dissecting the frog. I mean, I don't even do a science lesson with my kids at the ages that they're at. I guess like I feel like some, but as you're saying, dissecting a frog. I'm like, well, my son, I mean, he finds frogs, they kill them, cut them up, take the meat out and put it on a fire and eat it.
SPEAKER_01And I'm like, so I guess he is dissecting it. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. And you know what, Cheryl, not everything needs to look. I've noticed for myself, not everything needs a lesson plan. I needed one for school, but there were so many times teaching public school that I wasn't, I I was not the the gal who was hanging out after school and writing the lesson plans. I wanted to go with it so as much as I could. I pushed to the limits as much as I could. And with your kids, learning needs to be natural, especially you have little ones, as do I. And, you know, I was just thinking about it for a recording for myself. How many times we, okay, we're going to the zoo, so let's get some kind of worksheet to go with it, or let's think of some lesson after that we could have the conversation. No, put it all away and let the conversation with your kids happen organically. See the magic that comes from that without overplanning or overthinking. As homeschool parents, we have a lot of pressure on ourselves. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. We will always love our kids more than anybody else could. And we think that we've got to make it look a certain way. Drop all that and enjoy the time with your kids and let it flow. And they are gonna learn a lot. So go play with those frogs in the backyard. My kids actually listen, I don't have a million dollars. Like, I don't think any, you know, most homeschoolers do not. But for $4 at the nature center near us, my kids were able to dissect squids and they had a really great, like, I know, and it was great. My mom will never eat seafood again. She's so grossed out, she came with us. But my kids got the squid ink on them. And then that night, there wasn't some big elaborate thing, but at Whole Foods I picked up on the way squid ink pasta, and my kids wanted to eat it. So they will remember that forever. That's another point I want to make, Cheryl. And you know this too. My kids will remember dissecting a squid forever and then eating the squid ink pasta. It didn't take a worksheet, it didn't take a textbook. I didn't need a computer for any of it.
SPEAKER_02Such a great point. Where do they have that? What what it where's the nature center?
SPEAKER_00It's called Jones Beach Nature and Environmental Center. So it's at the beach by us. And again, down in Long Island, yep. Yep. Yeah, I want to encourage parents who are listening. I where I live, again, it's New York, so I had to find my tribe, my people. Nobody was in my neighborhood. And I do drive for things. I do drive 30, 35, sometimes up to 45 minutes to find great things. Perhaps it's a sacrifice, it's an investment in our kids. So if you're seeing that things are not where you are, I just want to encourage your listeners that go out and find it. It's so worth taking the drive for 30 minutes, like I did for this disgusting my mom and my kids getting squid ink all over them. It's worth the drive. Take the drive. I love that. What a great message.
SPEAKER_02And yeah, I'm like 35, 40 minutes away from everything because we're kind of we're out in the country, but the city is creeping in and in closer and closer. Yeah, I hear that. So, okay. The and we are as homeschooling parents, and this is I can understand why it's easier to just send your kids to school, let the quote unquote professionals handle it. Because it is hard to say, well, when do I make it a unit study and when do I make it just a trip to the zoo? Because both are are valuable, right? But it's like maybe the thing is don't make it with the worksheets and the this and the that. But it's like I noticed that if I go somewhere and we've talked about it beforehand, like say Fort William Henry, uh that's near us. I think we went with like no direction at all. We just kind of went, and then afterwards, through the Tuttle Twins books and stuff, we were learning about Fort William Henry, and I'm like, oh my goodness, I wish I knew this stuff before we went, which we can go back, it's close. But I think what you're saying is we can do it with conversation, we can do it with activities versus let's write this down on a worksheet. Because, you know, as you talk about even just those conversations, you know, the Revolutionary War happened right in our back yard, and this is what their life was like at the time.
Finding Your People And Taking The Drive
SPEAKER_02This is the things they were wearing, this is what they were eating, and you don't necessarily have to write it down, you can just talk about it or maybe make the food do the activity itself versus putting so much pressure on everything to be like a unit study and maybe make some of them just a trip to the zoo. I could all have to be unit studies.
SPEAKER_00I hear you, and I think that it really comes down to parents feeling that they need data and that they need proof. And I will tell you that for my nine-year-old, I have a big old box in the attic of tons of things that I kept of his, and I wanted data, I wanted proof, I wanted all of that written down so I could kind of prove the truth, the real truth, is that I could prove to myself that I was doing a good job. Was I on the right track? So I really want to tell parents, I'm by no means a veteran homeschool mom, but this is my fifth year. And in my fifth year, I have realized that I don't need to assess my kids. And that I, if your goal is to create a lifelong learner, which it is for me, I want a critical thinker, I want a creative thinker. When I would go on those trips, like the zoo trip or the aquarium, and then come home and say, and we've got to write a paragraph on it. Womp, womp, womp. Okay, my kid hates me. The whole thing like wasn't interesting. Now, this time that we had this great time, I'm like, what do you want to write about? Well, nothing. I didn't see anything. Of course, because I'm asking you to write a four-sentence paragraph about it. So, you know, it really brings up an important conversation, I think, Cheryl, that I really want to hit on for your listeners, and that's informal assessments. And so you might be thinking, okay, a former teacher, she's used to teach a unit, like division, give a test. Absolutely, I am. I'm very much used to that. But it's not how I do things in my own home. And I think it's really important to say that informal assessments are just as valuable or more valuable than the formal assessment. So, yes, there are times when if you're, you know, college-bound and SAT might be a necessary evil. If you're in a state where, like New York, you're highly regulated and we've got to, you know, do some
Dropping The Need For Proof
SPEAKER_00testing at the end of every other year. We rotate that with a narrative assessment. Sure, testing has its place. But informal assessments are really valuable. Again, narration with reading, checking in with your kid and just having the conversation can tell you more about their recall and their comprehension and their retention than any written assessment will. I did those written assessments and I can tell you from both sides that my kids are learning more joyfully and faster and doing better as a result.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so can you tell me, just to kind of paint the picture, what does your typical day or typical week look like? Like how much time are you putting into intentional learning versus just living life?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, it sounds probably to your listeners, and as I'm saying it, like I'm a hippie young schooler and we're just like going with the flow, and as things come up, it couldn't be further from the truth. So I really want to encourage the moms and dads who are listening that if you're like me and you're more traditionally minded, that you really do want to check the boxes. You're that kind of gal. You want to check the boxes and hit all those points for the curriculum, you can do it in this more relaxed way. So I, that is, you know, my whole philosophy. So my day starts out like yours, Cheryl. Mama's got to get her workout in. I have to pour into myself first and take that time. My kids are asleep. Most days, if they're not at their hybrid program, which they do two times a week, I let them sleep as long as they want. Growing bodies and growing minds need sleep. I don't think it's healthy the way that our kids are constantly on a schedule these days. So they sleep in, when they wake up, they come down. Mama's refreshed from her workout, I'm working on breakfast, and that's our read-aloud time. You do not need to set aside time that's, okay, we've got 20 minutes, we're gonna sit and do a read-aloud. Boom. That's the first way to kill a child's love of reading. It should be that reading is part of what you're doing. So I'm cooking, they're sitting, they talk. When they're eating, I'm reading and we're talking about it together. It makes it fun. It makes a child know that literacy and reading is just a part of life and it's enjoyable. It starts the day in a creative, fun, thought-provoking way. And then we do move into what I'd say is most school-like of our day. And yes, sometimes we do use a worksheet or workbook, but what I found is that most of them I'm flipping pages going, that was repetitive, or no, he already knows that. And now I've spent money and invested time in researching this material that I'm actually using a third of. So where I will pull inspiration from those things, I'm always thinking of how I can make it more hands-on. We do spend about any given day for my two kids, I don't know, it could be two hours, sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less, but we're taking turns with getting mom's attention while the other one is doing something nearby that they can do independently. And we are working through those core subjects. We're still doing reading and math and
A Realistic Homeschool Day Rhythm
SPEAKER_00science and social studies, maybe a little taste stuff, but we get a lot of that through our trips and going places. So after those whatever you want to say, however many hours of academics, we're out and about, like every day. And yes, you can tell I have a ton of energy and I like to live that way. My kids do too. But the reality is that when we're home, the house is gonna get destroyed and somebody's gonna start a fight. We thrive going in and finding an adventure. And it doesn't, again, not a millionaire, it doesn't have to cost a lot. Go to your library and look for discounted or free tickets or passes. Just go out and explore. There is so much to do. So our days are really full and really fun.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there really is no shortage for things to do. In fact, I almost get like, what do they call that where you're like overwhelm yes, frozenness because Absolutely. Okay, we have an afternoon free. I feel like there's a million things that I had on the list to do for that afternoon. And I don't know, sure.
SPEAKER_00Did you ever feel like tell me how you felt? I felt like there was gonna be nothing to do. I was terrified when I started five years ago that we were gonna be on a deserted island twiddling our thumbs. And the opposite is true. I always say that I argue my kids are more socialized than a public school kid. And I think I'm living my best life. I'm going out and doing all these fun things too. But did you feel like there was gonna be nothing to do?
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. I was like, I don't even but here's why I thought that, because since the time I was, I couldn't remember, I've my time has been dictated for me. I have never really had, you know, maybe after school some days, but I remember, you know, going to a friend's house before school because my mom went to work early and then school, and then after school, maybe I'd watch some TV, but then I had like dance class, and as I moved into the older years and high school, it was cheerleading and then dance after that. And there were all oh, and then I had a a job from the time I was 15. So that was the weekends. So it was like there, I mean, I I sure I picked to do cheerleading, I picked to do dance, but they picked how often it was. It was like, okay, well, this is five days a week now. So by the time I got out of college, it was like, well, now you have to go to work and do the same thing. Uh so at yeah, 30, I don't know, 39 when I left uh my government job, it was like, Oh my god, what do I do with my time? But it is I I'm always overwhelmed at how much there is actually to do. And even just right now being summer, it's like now even the people who send their kids to school are hey, can we get together? You wanna go swimming, you wanna do this, you wanna do that. I'm like, no, no, no, hey, listen, we have our setup here. Yeah. You cannot step in that. No, but we we do, we are. And you know, I have a friend that's very similar to you. Like by the time she comes to my house at noon on a Monday, she has already been three different places with her children. Like these are my girls, yeah, give me your number. We're gonna be ready. They they probably meditated for a little while with their grounding with the earth, staring at the sun, and and and and she's you know, gone to the grocery store and by noon every day. And I'm like, oh god, you overwhelm me. Where I am a little bit more like I do like to wake up early, but like I was saying to you before we hit record, I'm like out of my funk right now, because you know, something happens in life, it throws a wrench in it. And then, you know, I did my my mother got in the car accident, then I was uh volunteering for this Bible camp last week because my three-year-old wouldn't do it without me. And it's like everything, everything is all thrown off its racker. And yeah, my son's birthday yesterday, but I'm ready to get back into the groove. And I think you
Kids Learn From Seeing The Chaos
SPEAKER_02were placed here today for that inspiration. So I think But you know what?
SPEAKER_00I gotta you have made so many good points that I have to touch on. I cannot let what you said go. It is so important that we homeschool and our kids see the chaos. Why would we send them all? For eight hours, and then they think they come home and mom magically had dinner ready and the house is clean and dad repaired the car, and you know, my husband filled up the tires. One of them was low on air yesterday. Why can't our kids see that? They should be exposed to that. They should be exposed to, like you said, someone gets in an accident and a plane is delayed. They have to see that to create those skills for themselves. If they see us just tie it up with a bow, they're missing so much valuable education. So let them see that. The second thing that you said that I've just got to touch on is that you said, you know, you weren't so great at managing your schedule. It was always managed for you. And there's two things there. One, I hate that kids have no time for family time. I think it's a major, major disgrace that that's how things go. Homework is statistically shown, the data shows that it is not helping us. I don't usually follow data. I think most of it's and made up, but I'm gonna go with this one. I think homework is just it's busying our kids and it's taking away. I think it should have dinner with their families every night. I think that it's great that we put them in their hobbies, but guess what? I've got the whole day to do that. And when my husband finishes work, it's time for our family together. So I really think homeschooling gives us that time back. The second thing you said about you never really managed your schedule. Of course not. But kids who are homeschooled are shown to do better, perform better in college because they have already managed their own schedules. There's plenty of times where you are probably, you know, between lessons and trying to respond to emails. And kids are in your house or having to kind of manage for themselves for a few minutes. Mom's gonna come back and check on my work. I better get this done. Or hey, she's not coming back for about an hour. I'm hanging out with grandma or I'm doing this, and they've got to manage their own time. It only gets more significant as they get older. High schoolers, we give them even more, whatever you want to say, time or freedom that way. And then they go into college or career and they are more well equipped than their traditionally schooled counterparts to manage their own time, get the projects done, report back to their boss, all of the above.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I'm thinking even as you're saying that, you know, my daughter, she does her gymnastics in the morning time because we can, and uh, which allows for more time in the evenings to just relax or be with family. But my son, he's now kind of like taken on, like, uh, I don't think I want to sit through her gymnastics because I would have him bring some schoolwork and he'd sit on the sides and do his schoolwork while she did gymnastics. So he's like, Well, can I go to grandma and grandpa's house? And I'm like, Well, you have to be the one to call them, ask them. And just doing that at seven years old, getting the like, oh, I have to pick up a phone, I have to dial their number, I have to ask them in a polite way and see if they'll let me come over. Even just those little things to that was him managing his time and taking the responsibility to do, you know, what he wanted with it. Talk to me a little bit about and how old is the youngest?
SPEAKER_00Six, six and nine. So people who don't have boys are always saying to me, like, I don't know how you do it. I'm like, I'm loving it, I'm loving it.
SPEAKER_02There my boy is super high energy. I love it, but it is whoo.
SPEAKER_00Mine too.
SPEAKER_02How do you not have the um nervous system regulation prepared for this? He's always, always out for uh try start a disaster somewhere.
SPEAKER_00Yes, always, always.
SPEAKER_02Talk to me a little bit about how you taught them how to read or are teaching them pressures that we put on ourselves.
Teaching Reading With Less Pressure
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, this is a hot take, girl. Get ready.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what is actually necessary? And what's what's maybe a better practice?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, this is a hot take. This is one that it's almost hard for me to get the words out because I say it and I think to myself, I've been so, I'm still so conditioned, but I gotta tell you the truth. So I'm telling you my hot take. I do have my undergrad degree, four years of of um, you know, learning about childhood education, one through six, and I've got my master's in teaching literacy, and that is from birth through grade 12. But I will tell you, the most learning I did was quote unquote on the job as a homeschool mom. Because when I was in a public school, I got you for those 10 months, and then you were off to the next teacher. Now I've had say nine years with my son, because it doesn't start when kindergarten starts. He was my student, my son and my student from the start. I have realized that with reading, this is crazy, the best thing you can do is just read aloud and it's kind of enough. And it sounds so crazy to me because I I bought it all and I did it all and I had all these different things. But I will tell you that my sons, like I said, do attend a hybrid program two times a week. They go for a couple of hours. Um it's not a co-op setup where I'm teaching them. I'm not there. And I remember my son, who's nine, his kindergarten, you know, one of his kindergarten teachers calling me and saying, What are you doing at home? Are you doing what we're sending home? Because he's doing so exceptionally well. He's top of the class. What are you doing? And I said, I'm really not doing anything that's being sent home. I love that you're doing it in class. Like I love it. It's so great that he's getting a different way of learning. I think kids need a mix of it all. And so I love that he's getting it. But I'm reading picture book after picture book after picture book, and he was thriving. And so it really pains me to say it again because of our conditioning. But lesses sometimes more. Enjoy learning, let them fall in love with reading, and it will come really very naturally for most students. My son now has an incoming fourth grader, is reading way above his grade level. And I want to say that I did the lesses more, and I just taught him to be, I love bombed him. You know what love bombing is? When somebody is like, no, okay, love bombing is like if you start to date someone and they just say all the right things, and you're just everything is rose-colored glasses. I made him just in love with reading, that it was fun and it was rich, and the pictures were great. And then yeah, he wanted to do it more. And then yeah, he wanted to do it by himself. And so, of course, I did teach blends and all of those letter sounds, but it it was organic and it was more fun and it was more hands-on. Even with learning letters, like capitals and how there's capitals and lowercase, I put post-its all over the house of capital letters, the whole alphabet, and then post-its all over of the lowercase. And he had to go on a scavenger hunt and connect the capital A and the lowercase A and bring them back to me. We can do things in a way. Well, and the reason why we don't do this in a classroom is because I was at one point by myself in my 20s managing 28 kids. We can't do that, it would be chaos. And I did it on a small scale. Like I said, I always push the limits and it was always as fun and playful as we could make it. But at home, I have the freedom fourth grade. What that I did the alphabet with him? It was in probably right before kindergarten. And I think it's really important to note here that every child is different and kindergarten doesn't have to look the same for all of us. Not everybody even does kindergarten. And um, I really think that your child's natural inclination to want to learn, to be, you know, ready to listen to the story, start. I would say, if there's a parent listening who's thinking, oh, you know, I feel pressure, I'm excited even to start my child on learning to read. I would say start with like two minutes of reading a book. Just look at the cover and read the first page. And every day that you can, as they are developmentally ready, add another day on, another minute on to them sitting and listening. You have to teach a love of reading before you teach reading. And I think that that's the key to getting started.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I've I have like flashbacks to me starting with my son, and he must have been about four. And you know, I was like, okay, maybe he was even three. And I'm like, this is the A, this is the lowercase A. And I think I asked him like two minutes later, which one is the capital A? And like he couldn't tell me. And I was getting so angry. I think he threw a book and I'm like resident. I can't do this. You know this. You're just purposefully not telling me the right answer because you don't want to meet to like satisfy me. You know, and obviously that was wrong. And but and and so often I find myself getting to that heated like state and just trying to be like, oh my god, okay, it's because I'm conditioned to feel like it has to be this certain way. Um and that and and I've been, you know, open about how like learn teaching him to read is a challenge, but it's I don't think it actually is. I think it's a challenge only compared to what the system is doing. But I also try to tell myself, my kid also knows how to find a frog, cut it up, put it on the fire, eat the well that's the thing. We're pointing them out as as he's doing his his reading program. And we don't do the reading program every day. It is still at, you know, now he's eight years old. Now I think we'll we'll get into a little bit more of a routine, but I re I want to try to make it more fun.
SPEAKER_00And oh, I've got an idea for you. I've
Book Lists Library Holds And Reading Joy
SPEAKER_00got a good one for you.
SPEAKER_02Go ahead.
SPEAKER_00With sight words, I don't know if you've looked at sight words yet. I bought, and again, I don't want to use uh cards like flashcards, but I did buy for four dollars on Amazon sight words, but I put them all over the world the wall with painter's tape, and then I got our little Nerf gun, and he's got to shoot the word and say it and then take it down. So if he knows the word like the, he uses his Nerf gun, then takes it down. It makes it more fun. The other thing I want to tell you, mama to mama, is that when I taught fourth grade, there is this idea if you're not in the school system and you haven't taught that all fourth graders must read at this level and do these things. Okay, could be further from the truth. I had children who were immigrants who were coming here from other countries who did not speak the language at all. So that is a fourth grader who knows not a single word of English. I had children who were really struggling with other emotional things, they had other things going on at home, they might have been on a different path. I had kids who excelled and were on. I had one girl who I swear, if I had put in a college application, they would have taken her in the fourth grade. Everybody is in such a wide range that there is no fourth grade level. There is no such thing as a fourth grade level. So when you're thinking of your son, Cheryl, and you're thinking, okay, well, he should be at, you know, whatever, kindergarten, first grade, whatever it may be, it's just not true because what is that level? What is that level? Of course, we can make a standard and we can say that they should be reading this many words or this level of vocabulary, but the truth is in a classroom, you're getting a very wide mix of ability levels.
SPEAKER_02And that is so true. And yeah, and it's funny, as you're saying that, I'm like, oh no, well, he can like read a book. But because in my mind, there it's like, oh at third grade, they should be reading chapter books. Where he's probably more reading a picture book. Yep. And and you're so right. And we I try to like think back to, well, what do I really remember about school? I don't really remember learning anything. I don't remember World War One or the learning much about the Civil War or anything. But yet, here we are today, you know, still like adults making it in in the world. Totally. So and you're right, when you really stop and think about the kids coming in from other countries from very traumatic situations, they're they're and they're all still graduating.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they are.
SPEAKER_02They're all still getting pushed to the next grade, and it is um yeah, you're you're so right. We do have to take away that label of where the third grade level is, the fourth grade level is, and just concentrate on the love of it. And it's where do you get the books that you choose for read alouds?
SPEAKER_00My goodness. Okay, well, here's my my one tip for the moms and dads listening. I have no time. If you're Cheryl, like me, you host a podcast and you're homeschooling and you've got everything else on your plate. I don't have time to go and cuse the library. I don't do that often, but I'm at the library every day. And if you have this capability, this is my really good hot tip. And it's that I request all of the books on my phone, and then they are there and waiting for me. They even sometimes run them out to the car, which is so great. But I do my research and my research can be super simple. Sometimes it's even just Pinterest. Yes, ChatGPT can be helpful. Ask chat, you know, put in a description of, hey, this, you know, a boy or a girl, this age, these are their interests, and then boom, you've got this really curated list of book recommendations for them. And then I just request all of them and then I look at them in the comfort of my own home and decide what to read. I've got a stack right behind me over this way of new books that I I want to read with my kids. And I usually read the back and let them choose. I want them to be invested, I want them to love it. And that's really what's most important to me getting started out. Yes, I want them to read the classics. Yes, I want all of that great stuff. But right now we're going for some fun books and enjoying our time reading.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I I I do the library order and pick up too. It's a God's best. And I like I even try to think back to like what books did they read to me in elementary school, whether a teacher or a parent. Some of them were terrible.
SPEAKER_00I remember. But some of them I remember being very upsetting. I remember like just the mom dies and the this and the that. And yeah, that has a time and a place, but I really want to pick books that my kids say to me, like, I know we have to go, but let's do five more minutes. I need five more minutes. Come on. So I really encourage parents to to invest really just a few minutes in finding those kinds of books.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I love Read Aloud Revival's book list. So great. She she's she does a great job. I guess her more than myself in finding good books. Me too. I feel like I just nobody ever read me good books. So yeah, I'll go on her book list on like on her website and totally recommend an eight-year-old, and it's it's summertime, and you know, they're interested in this, so it'll it'll curate it to that. And some of those, even like the Winnie the Pooh series. Oh my goodness. I want to now read that because my daughter's old enough to absorb it. I I remember reading it to him just being like, Oh my god, this is amazing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I it's I would never would have picked it up myself from the library or thought about it. But it yeah, finding that love of learning. And you're right, it doesn't have to be a lot of time in a day. I know Sarah McKenzie would read Aloud Revival, she says like 15 minutes a day, which you could and sometimes I still don't get there myself, you know. And I, you know, I'm beating myself up afterwards, like you couldn't get in the 15 minutes today, it's ridiculous. You know, life happens, but then I think back to myself and I'm like, I don't remember my parents ever reading to me. And I still made it.
SPEAKER_00Do you remember a reading log? Do you remember a reading log? It was like you'd have to like that, right? And so you'd have to write that you did 20 minutes and the title, and then like a one-sentence. I will tell you, every kid made that up. And all of my students, I used to have to do it as a public school teacher. Give it out. Every I knew every kid didn't do it. Like there was a few that actually loved reading, those higher level kids. Most everybody made it up. And so what are we doing telling kids that reading is just another thing on a checklist, right? It's not. I want to even point out that you just said you opened up Winnie the Pooh and you were like, oh my goodness, this is amazing. I want that. I don't want the, oh, I have to fill in this sheet. I have to read so I can just fill in the sheet. And I really, it really sparks, and I know we're we're running on time, so I've got to say this. When you lit up just talking about Winnie the Pooh, I thought about myself and how homeschooling is literally lighting me up. I'm having the time of my life doing it. And I'm thinking about you rediscovering wonder or rediscovering books and enjoying this. The more us moms enjoy motherhood, the more our kids enjoy childhood and homeschooling. So, mamas, pick those books for your kids, but also pick them kind of for yourself. I want to say that too. Things that you're gonna enjoy too. Your kids are gonna feel it when you're enjoying what you're learning together.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. Yes. And I love doing like Treehouse Schoolhouse, Lindsay from Treehouse Schoolhouse. Yep. She has the Christmas connection. Uh, but so her book list for the connected Christmas. Yes. She has this one, and I get it every year, and I cry my eyes out reading this.
SPEAKER_00I knew you were gonna say that. I knew you were gonna say you cried. The Christmas tapestry. Is that Patricia Polacco? Is that maybe? I think it maybe.
SPEAKER_02I think it's I mean, I I can see that name on these books.
SPEAKER_01It but yes, and it ties in like the Holocaust and every time my son is like, Mom, you're gonna cry again.
SPEAKER_00And that's what we want. We want our kids to feel like reading and learning, it changes us. Maybe it's learning a historical figure, their life, or a historical event, or it's reading a great book, even if it's fiction. You want it to change them. You want it to make your kids feel. And I think that that's that's what we want for our learners.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and so stop putting it to this label of okay, well, now you read because yeah, I'll take a page, you take a page, and because you're like trying to assess them or get it get in their reading to it's like, yeah, just less is more, like you said at the in the beginning of this. I I just love this episode because I feel like you're giving parents the confidence to go to homeschool, taking that pressure off. And let's end it on a note where what would you say to
The Leap Of Faith And Final Encouragement
SPEAKER_02the mom? I'm trying to think back to myself. I had the job just like you, you had the career, you know, you're thinking pension down the line. Yeah, I let that. Your kids are set in this school district. Uh stepping away from it all to do this scary thing, like educate your own child. What would you say to that parent that is like, no, I could never, I mean, that's crazy talk. It might be something I'd love to do, but it just seems way too crazy. And I I would not even know how to take that leap. What would you say to her or him?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I would say that my time as a teacher and my time in college learning how to be a teacher, I had to forget all of that to be a teacher. So, of my own kids, of my homeschooled kids. So to think, I want you to listen to this and not think to yourself, oh, that Caitlyn, she's got it all together. Well, at least she went to school for this. She knows what she's doing. You are equipped to teach your own child. I had to unlearn all of those things to relearn how to teach my children in this way. And you can do it just the same. And I will say that again, going back to the beginning of our episode, I was unsure of if I could do this, how I was gonna do this. I didn't know anyone. We are training our kids. We are trying to teach them to be brave and to be courageous and to take the road less traveled. And so, how can I expect that of my sons that they'll grow into men who do that if their own mom is not willing to take the leap of faith and go ahead and homeschool them? They know that this is a bold choice. They are proud of this choice, and I encourage you to do the same with your kids. That could not have been said any better. Caitlin.
SPEAKER_02Thanks, girl. Where can people find you if they want to check out your podcast or follow you?
Where To Find Caitlin And Closing
SPEAKER_00I would love that. If you reach out, I will write back. I love talking to you. You can find me on Instagram, I'm Caitlin Zara. If you want to link that for us, Cheryl, I'm on Facebook as Caitlyn Zara. You can find the podcast. It's the Homeschool Connections Podcast with Caitlin Zara. And I would love to hear from you guys. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_02I will link all of that in the show's description so people can easily find you. I thank you so much for joining us today and being this wealth of information and confidence for us. I had so much fun. Thanks, Cheryl. Thank you, Caitlin. Thank you for listening to the Homeschool How To Podcast. If today's episode helped you, please be sure to follow the show and leave a review. It's the best way to support the podcast. And if you're just getting started or need a reset, head to thehomeschoolhowto.com and grab my free 30-day homeschool quick start guide. Until next time, keep learning, keep questioning, and thank you for your love of the next generation.