Beyond the Box of Chocolates A New Vision for Love's Celebration

Valentine's Day can be like a box of chocolates for the heart: sweet for some, bittersweet for others. As we unravel the complexities of this day of love, we're reminded that while some are swooning, others might be nursing a broken heart. That's why this episode is a heartfelt journey through the highs and lows of February 14th. We're peeling back the layers of Valentine's Day, challenging the standard narrative that it's all about romance and grand gestures. With a focus on inclusivity, I share personal insights on how to celebrate love thoughtfully, ensuring we're considerate of those who might find this day more challenging than charming. From discussing the holiday's history to advocating for authentic and consent-based expressions of affection, we're redefining what it means to spread the love.

Have you ever considered that love shouldn't be confined to a calendar date? This episode is a call to liberate our expressions of adoration from the shackles of commercial holidays. Together, we tackle the pressures of these dates and how they can overshadow the simple yet profound acts of everyday kindness. We also touch on the tenderness required when navigating celebrations in the workplace and among families, particularly for those who may be reminded of loss or absence. Join me in fostering a culture where we go 'extra' for the people we care about all year round, not just when society tells us to. It's a conversation about love, compassion, and the human connection—promising to leave you with a renewed perspective on how we can cherish each other every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Not everybody is fortunate enough to be loved or be in a loving relationship or have love or have a significant other or dating or just whatever it is, for many, many reasons. And Valentine's Day can be really, really hard on a person's mental health, especially when you don't have love, because this is the holiday known for love and actually wasn't, like St Valentine, a really cruel guy or died a really crazy death or something I should look into. That's a crazy story, but Like I Want those people that feel like you should celebrate. So if you have a love, celebrate that love. Crystal by James, a damn gift, okay, or something. Again, the girl gets asked a tool and put a heart on it. Like there's something that you can get on. Valentine's Day is just not about women, sorry.

Speaker 2: 0:51

It's not.

Speaker 1: 0:52

It's not okay, and pussy is not a gift that you was born with. That you didn't go by that. Okay, I need something you wasn't born with? Oh damn gift. Seriously, though, I just want you to be mindful of your surroundings, and I'm gonna tell you to check in on your single friends.

Speaker 1: 1:10

Take a few minutes out of your day to check in on your single friends and Just to make sure that they're okay, because I Know a person and have known people who have almost given up their lives on this holiday because they were alone or because they thought they were alone. Because what? What's all the commercials? You know I'm saying like the everybody's engaged and happy, and then now motherfuckers and this is another part that killed me Okay, if you don't got the money, don't spend that shit. Why you sit there? Gonna spend all this money, be stressed, during Valentine's Day. Now, your Valentine's Day kind of suck because you bought a gift that was too expensive and you won't know how you're gonna pay for and direct the one Friday. Don't do that, okay, do not do that, all right, but it doesn't take money to be romantic, right? But anyway, the moral of the story is checking on your single friends know that Valentine's Day can be very triggering and if you're dating somebody or you're meeting somebody new, remember that you don't know their traumas, you don't know what they've been through. So when it comes down to the intimate part of the night, make sure you get consent and you do things the right way you know. So those are just my PSAs.

Speaker 1: 2:28

I just feel like we just sometimes become Unaware of what is going on around us and what people are going through around us and we could be insensitive. And it's hard to be the one not to get the flowers and not to get the teddy bear and husband not come to work and do something, and After time people get that done. Ain't in happy relationships. That's the story for another day. I Mean celebrate your people. If you love them, celebrate them all year round. Don't wait to Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1: 2:59

But okay, like I said, I'm gonna. I ain't gonna get on this high horse and preach, but Sorry, of course I'm gonna let you talk. But I I just know, seriously, I was thinking about that, thought about that and I was like, and Honestly, I was talking to a friend of mine and she kind of like another Valentine's Day alone and it just like made me think like damn, people suffer during this holiday. You know, like cuz she was talking about how like I don't even want to go to work that day, they just gonna be so extra. And you know, and I was like they're like I feel like ain't nobody in our office gonna get shit.

Speaker 2: 3:30

So I I don't, I don't know if you guys all candy.

Speaker 1: 3:36

I'm so about. Like ain't nobody getting old flowers, anybody get me the only lead or Priscilla.

Speaker 1: 3:43

Okay, as you can see, we're working on our mental health, right, but no, no, really important, I just just this little short episode. I really am gonna air this, I don't care how foolish it is, because I just want you to be mindful of the people in the world. You know it's like, okay, I believe wholeheartedly that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, but that doesn't mean that you can't have compassion and that you can't show people love and then you just can't care, you know. So, yeah, support your love, but just check in on your people that don't quite have it right now, and I'm gonna do that. And hey, if you need to check in, you can text crystal. Her number is. But no, really, guys, anything you wanted to say to the people?

Speaker 2: 4:28

No, I think you're completely right. Check in on Whoever, even the people that do have husbands and stuff, if you know that right right. I know a couple that don't have any money and she's like I don't want flowers because flowers are expensive and basically throw them out.

Speaker 1: 4:52

So now it becomes a negative thing and he gets them. She's gonna have attitude spent money on something that now wasn't important. But you know, look, this is one of those commercialized holidays you know that people found a way to make a lot of money off of. But hey, I don't know, I really I don't judge, try not to judge. I mean, it is what it is. It's celebrated. I would like to celebrate Valentine's Day, but I also believe that the person that I love know I love them every single day.

Speaker 2: 5:24

I think, like you said, you should love them every day, not just same with Mother's Day, right, like I think it's so stupid to celebrate Mother's Day because you're a mom forever as soon as you have a kid and your child to show you that they love you every day, not just one day.

Speaker 1: 5:43

You know. But I think, okay, in that one I don't disagree with it, right, because I'm like, I know the world know how much I love my mama. You know what I'm saying. I mean, my mama live with me. Okay, I pay the bills, but you know she live with me, right? So that's still her house, but it is that's her house. So, but I just want to look at, I ain't no scrub. My mama live with me and I'm sorry if I seem to be judging. If you are scrub, maybe you just going through something, no judgment, but you know, I don't know. I feel like, like birthdays, like I feel like it's really, really dope to have a day where you can just go extra as a bitch for the person you love, you know, because it's like, yeah, I can show appreciation every day and I do you know what I'm saying Like I mean birthdays.

Speaker 2: 6:44

I feel like it's your mom should be not your mom should get gifts, but like that's the day she is told mama, you just can't get everything, you can't take birthdays, okay, like she was like technically.

Speaker 1: 6:59

So if you want a crystals, 18 kids, why y'all not buying her gifts? Please buy her a gift and send it to her every day. Let her know no, I know that. You know you kids love. I don't know. I mean I spoiled the hell of my mom. You know what I'm saying. I'd be like oh, I don't like this pillow. Tomorrow she got a new pillow, you know, and it's well, and I guess that's not love. Like, just because I buy her things is not love. But I guess my point of that was that I try to do what I can to make her comfortable.

Speaker 2: 7:26

Right, I try to do what I can to make sure that's right.

Speaker 1: 7:29

So it's like, yeah, I get a new pillow, but it's because I want her to be comfortable, right? You know what I'm saying, and I guess that's it. It's like I want the very best for my mom, so I'm going to do whatever I can within my means to give her the very best that I can give her. However, I like that one day a year we can get together as a family and celebrate mom.

Speaker 2: 7:50

Yeah, if you do that. If you like, gather all the time as brothers.

Speaker 1: 7:55

You know, but once again, we're not about judgment. So, however, people decide to celebrate their moms, right, I feel like it's a day that moms, I mean. I feel like it's a day like moms that should really what about?

Speaker 2: 8:05

the moms aren't here?

Speaker 1: 8:08

Okay, you can still celebrate your mom.

Speaker 2: 8:10

You can still celebrate your mom, but that puts them into like sort of like going to work and everybody's like talking about how it's mother's day and take for Becca Mother's day.

Speaker 1: 8:23

Girl. You went back to another story, just so bad. She went back to the beginning of the conversation where I was just telling y'all to be mindful about celebrating a little too hard, I think, and that's what it is Like. Sometimes you can celebrate a little too hard, right, and it comes across as bragging, right. No, it comes when it's a little too much. It comes across as like showing off in a way, you know, and then I think that's the part of it, that's, you know, my dad ain't around and we're not even that. You know. It's like I don't mourn so much about the mat, my dad's deaf, as I do the loss of relationship we would have had as I'm growing into this person that I'm growing into, right, like I feel like my dad would have loved this maker.

Speaker 1: 9:12

You know what I'm saying? No-transcript. I know I'm making you proud right now. Like you can't tell me. I ain't making you proud right now, right, you know, and but it's like, oh, it sucks that he can't be here for that. Right, you know, because my dad was always a champion of things. So I get what you're saying, but that's not important. We just talking we are gonna release this, like really really release it. Just Valentine's Day, I mean, just check in with people, just make sure people are good. Um, love shouldn't just be celebrated romantically, so I think it's okay to work.

Speaker 2: 9:46

Yes, I don't think that it should be but it can be. It's like oh, it can be but I think, something for people that don't have a lot of money a simple right make your own.

Speaker 1: 9:58

Symbolic or gesture or something or like things could be done to show that you love each other in all kinds of situations. Right, you know you think about stray animals. You know I'm saying my dog now.

Speaker 1: 10:11

No, I'm thinking about how, you know, you can have two, like a cat and a dog. We have a cat and a dog. They live in neighborhood and they just always together and just like they finally share their food, you know. So my thing is like that's love. But you could be the most strangest of Beings at the moment and the most strangest situations and still be able to show love and I guess that was my point Of the beings, the strays, because even a stray has love or can show love.

Speaker 1: 10:40

Right and I think that we just need to remember that. If nothing else, they created this little funky, stupid holiday. No, I ain't single on purpose, but no, they created this holiday for love. I'm gonna say that whoever created this holiday had love in mind, and then someone evil twisted it up like Maleficent.

Speaker 2: 11:03

I know you're not.

Speaker 1: 11:13

No, sir, guys, we're just chilling, being silly, but we are posting this so, of course. So sorry it's getting posted, because it is important to remember. Just remember people. Remember that tomorrow is can be Traumatizing and it can be triggering. Not tomorrow, sorry, valentine's Day Can't be. It can be triggering and it can be traumatizing, traumatizing and triggering okay, and that's not what we want to show people or give people that we love. So let's I don't know continue to heal, continue to hope.

Speaker 1: 11:48

Continue to love see you to love and let's count the cost and make the change. Trauma is expensive. Brand new episodes every Monday, these fucking feelings podcast. Brand new episodes every Wednesday, and we ain't gonna tell you who stood us up or whatever, but it's triggering. My content is правда, aw, jesus.