Finding Light in Darkness: Betsy Ross’s Journey & Mission 🌟| Season 3 Episode 314

In this profoundly moving episode of "Finding Light in Darkness," we embark on a transformative journey with Betsy Ross, a beacon of resilience and hope. As we navigate the complexity of emotions from sadness to anxiety, we delve deep into an emotional excavation that reveals the empowering strength of vulnerability. Betsy, an army veteran and author, shares her mission of turning personal trials into a narrative of triumph, touching on themes central to mental health awareness, trauma recovery, and the healing journey.

This conversation is more than just a podcast episode; it's a testament to the unyielding human spirit. Through Betsy's story, we explore the intricate tapestry of mental health struggles veterans face, highlighting the indispensable need for community support and understanding. It's a powerful reminder that in the midst of darkness, there is light, and in sharing our stories, we find strength.

Join us as we navigate this journey of healing together, reminding each listener of the transformative process that comes from facing our darkest moments with courage. Whether you're a veteran, someone grappling with mental health challenges, or simply a listener seeking understanding and connection, this episode offers a beacon of hope and solidarity.

We invite you to be part of our community, to explore, to learn, and to grow with us. For more insights and to continue this conversation, visit: https://www.fightwithbetsyross.com/ 
Let's embark on this healing journey together, with open hearts and minds.

#MentalHealthResources #MentalHealthRecoveryTips #WritingBooksImpact #SuicidePrevention #SuccessInterviewSeries

CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Intro
0:40 - Betsy Ross Biography
6:40 - Betsy Ross Book Inspiration
13:10 - Betsy Ross Book Series Overview
14:50 - Betsy Ross Supporting Veterans
20:41 - Veteran Mental Health Support
23:51 - Writing Process Insights
26:00 - Military to Civilian Transition
33:13 - Advice for Veterans
37:50 - Message to America
41:45 - Patriotic Sentiments
46:01 - Emotional Moments
52:25 - Final Thoughts
56:35 - Outro

#VeteranStories #MilitaryTransition #LeadershipReborn #BetsyRossAuthor #FIGHTSeries #VeteranAwareness #TheseFukkenFeelingsPodcast #VetLeadership #CallOfDuty #RealStoriesRealHeroes #ArmyVeteran #TexasRancher #MilitaryFamilies #SupportOurTroops #VeteranLife #MilitaryLife

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

You don't have to be positive all the time. It's perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared and anxious. Having feelings doesn't make you a negative person. It doesn't even make you weak. It makes you human and we are here to talk through it all. We welcome you to these fucking feelings podcasts, A safe space for all who needs it. Grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now.

Speaker 2: 0:31

What is up, guys? Welcome to these fucking feelings podcast. I am Micah, got Rebecca in California co-hosting. It seems Now that that's going to be her new permanent spot not in California, but co-hosting virtually, so we'll talk about that another time. And then we got Crystal over here in the studio working out with me and we are on with our special guest, betsy Ross Now it's a no applause, so I guess it's your name. Rebecca wants to ask you questions about your name Before we get to the words Rebecca.

Speaker 3: 1:08

Okay. So first of all, I love that you have the American flag behind you, because obviously anybody who knows Betsy Ross knows the history of Betsy Ross and the American flag. But so obviously we have to get this all cleared up before we move any further. I want to know if your name has anything to do with the reason you joined up, because you're a veteran yourself.

Speaker 6: 1:38

Okay, Do you have?

Speaker 3: 1:39

military background Family in the background.

Speaker 4: 1:47

Yes, I do, yes, I do. So did your parents, uncles, a bunch of family.

Speaker 3: 1:55

Okay.

Speaker 2: 1:56

So did you even know who Betsy Ross was?

Speaker 3: 2:00

Of course, when I did it.

Speaker 2: 2:02

So shame on me. Yeah, totally Rebecca was the only one I know.

Speaker 3: 2:07

I got so excited when I saw your name, because I think I read she did.

Speaker 2: 2:11

She got so excited about her name and I'm trying to think which actress is Betsy Ross and what was her best role, because I can't do that.

Speaker 4: 2:21

He should be a famous. Yeah, it's okay.

Speaker 2: 2:27

I don't know what kind of people is Jason introducing me to.

Speaker 5: 2:32

I have questions.

Speaker 2: 2:35

Because, you guys, she was introduced to us by Jason Steiner national. She was the first to introduce me to him, so we're always going to promote him and everything that he does. Hero stock 24.

Speaker 3: 2:49

We're going to keep track of it.

Speaker 2: 2:51

Yeah, now, betsy, I guess, before we go any further, rebecca was just so. She was really excited about your name, so I wanted her to be able to get that off, you know. But now I'm going to ask you to introduce yourself to us.

Speaker 5: 3:04

And you get that reference all the time.

Speaker 3: 3:06

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: 3:08

No, it's just you, Rebecca. You're the only person.

Speaker 3: 3:12

I'm sure of it. No judgment.

Speaker 2: 3:16

Put it together. Back to the show, Now that we're done having our Sesame Street moment let's get back on these fucking feelings. Okay, but that's going to ask you to introduce yourself to our audience, but I'll do a little twist with it now. Right, I have to tell us something in there that only people close to you would know, like a secret obsession for fruit roll ups.

Speaker 4: 3:49

Unfortunately, no on that, but I am an army veteran. I'm the author of the fight series, which is a fictional series regarding veterans transitioning out of the military, and it shows more of a mental health and internal side of some of the struggles that a lot of veterans do face when they're returning homes and to their friends and such. But as far as a secret that only someone close to me would know, I don't. I'm so open on social media. I don't even know what no one else knows. I'm open on all my interviews.

Speaker 2: 4:26

Yeah, I think we all. I think we all are too. Maybe Rebecca not as much.

Speaker 3: 4:33

I keep everything until I'm ready to give it. Well, tell us more about you as a person. Like what made you, I mean obviously, you said that your family, your dad, your uncles and so forth were in the military. Is that the main reason why you also joined, or was there already an internal desire to do so?

Speaker 4: 4:58

Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever joined the military. I didn't think it was for me. I always want to be a geologist, so my first degree is geology. But in the process of me going to college the first time, I somehow developed some sort of confidence that maybe I could join the military. I realized that I had this.

Speaker 4: 5:19

I don't know if it's a connection or just like a I can't think of a word for it right now but it's like I just desired actually wear the uniform, know what it's all about, actually serve my country. I mean, patriotism was very much in our family growing up, but I didn't think I'd ever join. I didn't think it was for me. But of course, my entire family, my uncles, my parents were all Air Force. I was the black sheep, so I went Army. I'm the only Army in my family, so my son's Army, yes. So I don't know what really caused it. I think what I can only think back now maybe it was the confidence, like the physical PT test, that probably made me think I'd never get to do that. And then I became more in shape when I got into college and then I was like, yes, I can. And then I just started building up on my challenges against myself and I realized I was out doing pushups with the guys, so I was ready for sure. That's great.

Speaker 2: 6:20

I thought about joining the military one time too. I was sitting in this jail cell after the drunk driving and I was like you know what? I think I need a little bit of Air Force in my life. I need to get my life together. Mike is such a joker.

Speaker 3: 6:36

I'm sure you've watched other episodes or whatnot, but Mike handles everything with a joke.

Speaker 2: 6:42

And the truth.

Speaker 3: 6:44

Okay.

Speaker 5: 6:47

We'll talk about that after.

Speaker 3: 6:52

So what inspired you to start writing these books.

Speaker 4: 6:56

I fell on a very dark place after I got out of the military and I started realizing that people I had served with, people I considered friends, were still committing suicide and I was nowhere near them. I was struggling myself and I realized that I couldn't connect with fellow veterans. I couldn't connect with my family. The VA denied me to speak with them, the VA denied my injury. I didn't think I had anything to connect with at all. So I realized that I needed a voice, I needed a purpose, and then I realized that a lot of veterans do struggle finding themselves, finding that purpose again and that state of mind that I was just in. I realized that I had a lot to overcome.

Speaker 4: 7:43

So I kind of used the series as my own outlet as well. But of course all the characters are doing different things, so it's different perspectives male, female, different ranks and just different MOS's and such. But still I used it as my own personal journey. But I also needed a voice out there to speak up for veterans who didn't feel like they had a voice, didn't want to talk about mental health of any kind, how they felt or anything like that, because even veterans who did want to talk to me, they didn't want to talk to me at that way. They had to make the jokes. They didn't want to talk about the bad leadership. They didn't want to talk about their actual experience as far as how it affected them. So I figured that was a big issue as to why so many veterans commit suicide. So I really wanted to make that a mission Right.

Speaker 2: 8:32

And what is the number Per day? Did they say oh, per day did they say veteran commit suicide.

Speaker 4: 8:42

No, it was at 22, but I've seen some that it was a lot higher than that. Right, I thought it was 122.

Speaker 2: 8:49

Yeah, I thought it was 122, but I was like it just sounds like a lot, so I didn't want to misquote it. But we'll look that up and let you know 22 would. Inside the caption.

Speaker 5: 8:57

Even.

Speaker 2: 8:58

I mean, 22 is a lot, but for some reason I'm like you, I thought it was a higher number. But it's crazy to like sit here and fight for your country and then come back and we, like you didn't get hurt, you don't need our help, yeah, so that's the scariest thing was my son.

Speaker 5: 9:14

he's in the army and in May he's actually going overseas and to think about him coming back and having struggles like yourself is kind of scary. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4: 9:27

Unfortunately yes, and it doesn't matter if you deploy or not.

Speaker 2: 9:31

Yeah, right, right, definitely that too, I mean.

Speaker 5: 9:34

Just he has a daughter and he leads once in a while and that's even tough Just leaving your family.

Speaker 2: 9:44

Crystal is very bitter. That has some moved away. She's so mad about it. Well, it was close crystal at time.

Speaker 4: 9:55

I know, but I keep cutting Rebecca off.

Speaker 3: 9:59

It's hard.

Speaker 2: 9:59

We all.

Speaker 3: 10:00

She's so used to it. We all talk all over each other, but I was determined to like talk on this episode, so I keep like Cutting in. So Okay, but yeah, no, I forgot what I was gonna say now. But yeah, it's okay. Oh no, so you had gone overseas. I mean, what part of the army have you been actively involved in? Have you gone over Afghanistan?

Speaker 4: 10:31

I actually. I Actually did not deploy at all. I was injured before I even got to deploy. I ended up chaptered out because I was injured and they needed able bodies to deploy at Afghanistan. So I Try to force myself to take that as a sign that I wasn't meant to go over there because I was chaptered out, and that's usually a negative thing. But Even the code they gave me was medical related. I have nerve damage in my arm. Of course they can't find evidence for that. So I was denied that. But they needed able bodies right away, right away. So they chaptered me out so they can get able bodies in and got you so I kind of got screwed on that end.

Speaker 3: 11:19

What do you my?

Speaker 2: 11:20

dad was a Vietnam, the Vietnam vet, and we kind of seen like his struggle with mental health Just in that and like until now and he died a few years ago. But until now is like we're starting to see that all that was like from his experience in Vietnam, you know, like he really had issues, you know, but he also he was one of the people I think that's where I get my humor from he was very funny about life, you know, but he also had like really dark parts of him that all happened because of the military and then him not having support afterwards and they're like I don't get that concept. Sorry, rebecca.

Speaker 3: 12:00

Okay yeah, um.

Speaker 2: 12:06

Rebecca's like the angle. Keep throwing attention to me when I'm ready.

Speaker 3: 12:12

I was on a good question and I forgot it again. So I didn't write all my questions. That's the I like to prepare before everything. These guys make fun of me all the time because I do that. But then I grew I have all my questions answered, that I wrote down, but now I I forgot the.

Speaker 2: 12:30

We don't make fun of her not being of her being prepared is that she never uses what she prepared.

Speaker 3: 12:38

Regurgitate what's written down and I mess it up. So now I vowed to read verbatim what I have written, so I don't mess it up and I'm doing pretty well with that this time around, however, and now you messing it up.

Speaker 2: 12:55

I'm like me and Jason really need to have a. Just imagine we're a top ten podcast. Right so yeah, we're gonna get to, we're gonna get to a point, but how many books do you have? So the fight series is series always three. Is that a dumb question Before? Okay, and I don't even know where I got that from, so maybe I'm thinking of another word, but I was like, so it's four books and and did you pull? Did you pull inspiration from real life experiences that you experienced, or Was it like your?

Speaker 4: 13:40

most of it yes or?

Speaker 2: 13:40

just how you saw me. Most of it, yeah, okay.

Speaker 4: 13:44

Most of it I put my own personal experience through any of the characters. I may not be infantry, but I do have characters that were infantry. My husband was infantry and I also had some other veterans that could give me some input and and it wasn't more realistic enough to put in the story as it was and so, but a lot of it was my own Personal struggles that I had faced, and so that's why it was so personal for me and why the series itself means so much to me. So I may not have deployed, but fighting for your country, fighting for your family, having that camaraderie, being in that family, same uniform, all of that was meant more to me than anything. I was too gung-ho. I was the one they when they say don't go gung-ho.

Speaker 4: 14:32

I was gung-ho and I got screwed for it, but I cared and I still care, so I try to still be a voice for veterans. I may have felt like I failed the army then, but I'm still continuing the fight mission now.

Speaker 3: 14:47

That's great. Are there other ways you volunteer or help the veterans? I'm sure your series helps them immensely. Just wondered if there's anything else that you did.

Speaker 4: 15:02

Unfortunately, no, not at this time. It's really been Through the fight series. I have met other veterans organizations and I've been helping them, trying to get the word out for them, and then I've only recently Been in contact with Jason. Some hope and I can actually be a hero stock next year.

Speaker 2: 15:20

But Okay, I'm gonna try to meet you there, because we didn't get to make it easy. We, we have plans to make it right and Rebecca end up having to go all the way on a business trip. So we were like, ah, but next year we're gonna definitely try to be there. So, yeah, we'll find you. Yeah, unfortunately, look, I'm about to get no more. Jason ain't gonna email me, no more ever. He's like I'm not introducing you to nobody else. Oh, but Veterans, I guess it's go ahead, rebecca.

Speaker 3: 16:12

Also in the services. Is he in the army also, or in the Air Force, or he's in the same branch? He was army army.

Speaker 2: 16:20

Did you guys meet like? Did you work together?

Speaker 4: 16:25

No, we didn't. We actually met through a friend, a mutual friend. It's kind of a crazy story. She's like I didn't.

Speaker 2: 16:31

I didn't come up here talk about my love story. I came to talk about my book.

Speaker 3: 16:37

Himself. So I'm just wondering his experiences are incorporated in your book, oh.

Speaker 4: 16:44

Yes, he'd been in eight years. He'd been to Afghanistan a couple times. I wreck a couple times to booty Africa he's. He was infantry, so he actually had to go places more so.

Speaker 3: 16:57

Wow, so he's definitely probably his stories are probably very well heard in the in the series.

Speaker 4: 17:05

Then hey definitely gave a lot of insight On a lot of things, not to say like his personal story as a whole. But I took I definitely took bits and pieces of his and some of the other people that he served with. I took from their Perspective as well and I kind of just incorporated little bits and pieces to create the characters and their backstories.

Speaker 5: 17:27

Gotcha, how do you handle Him going away with you, knowing what could happen? It was as, like you know, we're in there.

Speaker 4: 17:40

Yeah, though his last appointment was to Afghanistan and he had just Got there in time to see our daughter born, so that part was rough. He missed our first daughter Whole first year life.

Speaker 3: 18:00

Wow that's always hard, I'm sure. So that was hard.

Speaker 2: 18:04

And then when you come back that they didn't want to do that for you. You know what we're gonna hold. We're gonna hold America accountable.

Speaker 5: 18:10

Okay, we're not gonna do nothing else.

Speaker 2: 18:11

We probably get into tomorrow, but why we're here today. We're gonna hold America responsible, sorry, taking care of these vets. Okay, no, serious, no, I am serious. You know I'm serious. It wasn't into meeting Jason.

Speaker 2: 18:29

Jason actually, kind of like, was our first interview about veterans and I Want to say a hundred and twenty two I don't know why, but you know, but how many veterans like died per day, and to me it was like wow, and it was like it was crazy to learn about, like my father through Jason, you know, because my father never talked about it. So and then it made sense on how, like you know, veterans or people who are actively in the military right now have mental health issues. You know, of course, all the things you aren't sharing. You know, I know if I get mad a little bit, you took my ink pen like I'm mad Over, you know. I'm saying then imagine what you went through over there. All right, you fighting for your country. So you know, and I never told you I'm mad and I've been holding this bunch for 10 years because you took my favorite pen. Good job, rebecca.

Speaker 5: 19:16

Which which we could have just handled if we took care of it.

Speaker 2: 19:19

I guess that's all I'm trying to say, right? Not that he's trying to equate fighting for your country, I mean that's.

Speaker 3: 19:28

It is equal, you know.

Speaker 5: 19:31

No, definitely.

Speaker 3: 19:32

They are not the same level. People were not. I mean, maybe if the pen was in her pocket that puts her to the dryer.

Speaker 5: 19:39

Let's get off the pen.

Speaker 2: 19:40

We're gonna get off the pen okay. Maybe in Micah's world Lord.

Speaker 4: 19:45

Betsy. Okay, betsy, how you doing girl. I'm gonna talk to you.

Speaker 2: 19:46

It's just me and you right now. Right, I'm gonna tell you a funny story. When you said Djibouti, right, I used to work at my first. I work in logistics, and my first job in logistics was for a steam I mean a ZEM, which is a steam ship line, but we used to ship to Djibouti all the time. So we all it was a call center we in a call center we all used to call each other and be like how much does it, how much is it, how much does it cost to go to Djibouti? Oh, my god.

Speaker 3: 20:18

Oh my god.

Speaker 2: 20:23

You know, but it's so funny, even like our boss needs to do it.

Speaker 3: 20:25

I want to go to Djibouti, djibouti, this is the first time we've ever heard this story, isn't it, crystal?

Speaker 5: 20:32

It is the first time.

Speaker 2: 20:34

Yeah, well, betsy got it out of me. She said Djibouti. I was like dang, I have a zero head of that in here.

Speaker 3: 20:39

I can tell you well, that went so close to your chest. I like that story, micah.

Speaker 2: 20:46

Okay, so now we're going to get serious. How do you manage your mental health now?

Speaker 4: 20:53

Mainly through fitness and various like, whether it's running gym, yoga and then, of course, writing.

Speaker 2: 21:03

Okay, now give another answer other than fitness.

Speaker 3: 21:08

Well, fitness works for her, Micah.

Speaker 2: 21:11

Yeah, it was a joke. Like this group, we don't do fitness.

Speaker 3: 21:16

Yeah, a lot of our guests come on.

Speaker 2: 21:19

Do, fitness Do?

Speaker 3: 21:21

fitness as their.

Speaker 5: 21:24

Our fitness is eaten Right I love to eat.

Speaker 2: 21:28

Yes, I love to eat A lot of people, you know it makes me sick to hear a person who, like, goes to the gym and stuff somebody love to eat Would you love to eat a salad. What?

Speaker 4: 21:39

I can eat salad. I can eat whatever I want if I'm working out, Especially if I run.

Speaker 3: 21:43

True. People say they live to eat or they eat to live. I live to eat. I tried to say it in my head, it didn't work out Live, eat to live. How?

Speaker 2: 22:05

long. You said it right. Yeah okay, you said it right. Okay, you ready, rebecca, can we move on now? Yeah, yeah, we're good.

Speaker 5: 22:13

People are ready, all right. How are your children when your husband deploys, or you guys?

Speaker 4: 22:21

are away from them. Well, he's not in right now. Okay, he's actually non-employable right now. Oh, I'm sorry Non-employable now, but we have three kids now and we were running a Longhorn Ranch and now we've got a snake business and so, and then I also work as a medical lab tech at a hospital, so I have a very, very full, busy schedule.

Speaker 2: 22:50

And weird, okay, snakes.

Speaker 4: 22:52

Yeah, yes, we have snakes.

Speaker 2: 22:55

You know what I feel like type of people that go to the military like snakes, you know.

Speaker 4: 23:02

What.

Speaker 5: 23:02

It's a coincidence, my son went to the police and he was where did he go? But there was a trench law and he like, the trench was so huge.

Speaker 2: 23:14

You draw the line in a spider's on.

Speaker 5: 23:15

And he was asleep. He had a sleeping tent and this thing was so huge and he do you remember me showing you the video? I don't and he put his boot against it and it was huge. You would probably just flew back home.

Speaker 3: 23:32

What kind of snakes do you have on your?

Speaker 4: 23:35

ranch. They're just ball pythons, not venomous, oh okay.

Speaker 2: 23:43

I guess that make it a little better. I think I still be scared.

Speaker 3: 23:45

Yeah, I feel like that.

Speaker 2: 23:49

Let's get back on your books, all right? She was like can we get back to the reason why we heal Now? So it's four of them. How long did it take you to write them?

Speaker 4: 24:00

The first book was published in 2017. So for four, six years. But I went back to school, I headed other things as well and, plus, I didn't think it would be a series. To be honest, it started out with just the first book and that thought that would be it, and then it ended up hearing some feedback. You know, there's actually a lot of issues we have in the veteran community, whether it's homelessness, drug abuse, you name it and so I kind of incorporated just different characters as the story goes on. So the story still networks and kind of piles up as you go. It's better if you actually read it for me to make it make sense.

Speaker 2: 24:35

Right, right, you know that was going to be my question. Was it like a one long story or was it like completely like a series, but still different?

Speaker 4: 24:44

It jumps around a lot.

Speaker 5: 24:45

So, and you go on Amazon and.

Speaker 4: 24:51

Yes, or you can go fight with that zero yes, or fight with Betsy Rosscom. But I am self published, so I self published through Amazon. So the four individual books are available in paperback, kindle and audio All on Amazon. But then I have the combined version, which is called fight collection. It's only available in hardcover right now.

Speaker 2: 25:18

Now are these? Are your books family friendly? Is it something that, like people can sit with with their kids and read because you want them to know the truth? You know?

Speaker 4: 25:26

or there's a lot of language because it was, you know, written from a veterans perspective. And in the military, cursing to your boss is somewhat normal, so they definitely swear, everyone swears.

Speaker 5: 25:42

I saw him didn't swear, so he came back from boot camp. He didn't, it's a thing. He came back boot camp, then that was it yeah.

Speaker 3: 25:53

That was it.

Speaker 2: 25:58

So when was the last one more you, when was the last time you were in the military?

Speaker 4: 26:03

I got out in 2012.

Speaker 2: 26:04

2012. Okay, so cool. And then where I guess we're a question but how did that journey go Like? What did it look like in the beginning?

Speaker 4: 26:19

As far as what the series or like when I first got out.

Speaker 2: 26:23

Oh, sorry you mentally, how you were, mentally my bad. I forget that people don't know what I'm thinking.

Speaker 4: 26:29

Right. It was a very dark time for me. I basically couch surfed for a while. I couldn't keep a job. I was living out of my truck. I jumped into school because I thought that was a good idea, and military always pushes that on you, society pushes that on you. So I did that. But realistically I probably shouldn't have done that because of how much stress it puts on you, plus with everything else I had going on at the time, because I was going through a divorce at the time and I didn't have a place to live. I didn't know what my next meal would be. I was basically eating peanut butter out of a jar. I was couldn't keep a job.

Speaker 2: 27:13

I was struggling big time and life did not make sense, it seems like it was the end of a lot of things, in the end of your marriage and of the military, so you were dealing with a lot of ending.

Speaker 4: 27:25

I was and.

Speaker 4: 27:26

I was and of course at the time I also jumped into trying to fight the VA and that was a pain and got me nowhere. And there was one night I did call the VA to set up an appointment to speak with the counselor and they said they couldn't help me unless I was going to kill myself. Right then and there I know that's a lie now because at the time they said that I wasn't medically discharged, which is a lie. You don't have to be medically discharged to go to the VA. But at the time that's just what I was told. So I kind of gave up working with the VA.

Speaker 4: 28:00

Veterans didn't want to talk to me because you know, I'm just a female, I wasn't infantry, I wasn't cool, I didn't deploy. So they were just like, oh well, you were just going, ho, don't want to talk to you. And then my family didn't know what I was saying because I was still stuck in that mindset, that jargon, waking up 3am, going for a run, right. But it was like I had no friends, even though I came back home, because I thought that would be familiar with for me and it wasn't. It was like my whole town was so different. Everything had changed, people moved away, so it's like my family didn't know me, I didn't know them, I couldn't talk to anybody. It was the most darkest time of my life and I stayed in that mindset, that darkness, for at least three years.

Speaker 2: 28:46

If you could have did something different to prevent that darkness. If there was something that exists, what would that have been?

Speaker 4: 28:55

Probably not drink so much, because that way I probably would have, maybe had found, I guess, sort of like a light at the end of the tunnel a little sooner, or at least had a little more hope, because obviously alcohol is a depressant. But you know, I was going through so much and no one to talk to, no one who could understand me. I wanted to be back in the military, but I couldn't go back in the military and my China command basically said you know, you're not, you're not our problem anymore, and they don't answer me. So it was, I was.

Speaker 2: 29:33

Did you do any self-blaming kind of like failure, type of you know like?

Speaker 4: 29:39

I didn't do this and Absolutely, because I joined the military to do something and I ended up being chaptered out for being injured. Chaptered out, which is meant to be a negative thing, but I was chaptered out because I was not deployable, because they had to go to Afghanistan now, so they chaptered me out, which is quicker than medically discharged, and so basically it got screwed that way. But at the time, basically I felt like my chain of command was just throwing me out. I mean, I got honorably discharged but it was still like okay, so I failed the army, I failed my chain of command, failed myself, I failed my marriage, I failed my family, because they were in the military eight, 12 years, you know a long time.

Speaker 4: 30:25

I barely started a couple of years before I was injured and there was a lot of failures against me and I had no hope and I had no backup, I had no support system, and so it wasn't until I met my now husband and we started a family, and it was then I I guess I had some traction because I had also started my career, and then I was like I need to talk about this because there's some veterans who do end up just homeless. They don't have that chance where they can meet a significant other to help them keep motivated to keep going. Because I attended suicide countless of times and it was there was just a lot against me. And then, of course, me going to school was probably it was a savior at the time because it kind of stayed somewhat, kept me forced to go into school where I had to be around people.

Speaker 5: 31:23

But even that you wasn't sleeping.

Speaker 4: 31:25

I was barely sleeping. But but that alone was hard because this was my second time going back to college. The first time I was right at a high school, so at this time this was a few years later and going back to school with high schoolers again. Basically my mindset after being out of the army and these people are talking about what their problems were Like I was not in the mindset to be around students, I was not happy place.

Speaker 2: 31:56

So shout out real quick to your dope husband. He sound amazing, so we just want to thank you because you had to be an angel, because I feel like there's about to be 80 more books in your future. You have been through some stuff.

Speaker 4: 32:10

I have a lot to say. But even through fight, I did get to channel a lot of the negative things I felt or faced and I got to live vicariously, sort of through all the different characters. Like I said, I may not, it may not be exactly my story, but I put bits and pieces of it all over in the characters and their backgrounds and the flashbacks and everything that you can see in the story. And, yeah, it was just a very dark time. I wish I'd done more. I still have somewhere. I don't really have hard feelings for the army because I still promote it, I still love it, I'm still for veterans, I'm all for it. But for my own personal experience it sucks.

Speaker 4: 32:52

Yeah, that's too bad really.

Speaker 2: 32:55

Yeah, sorry I could have the hard feelings. America, get it together. Don't let me tell you again. Be like my mom used to do Right, don't make me turn this world around. Get it together.

Speaker 5: 33:09

I wish it was that happy.

Speaker 2: 33:11

I know I wish too, so I'm sorry I lost my question too. Go ahead, rebecca, but you maybe go ahead Sorry.

Speaker 3: 33:22

No, I don't have anything more.

Speaker 2: 33:28

That's a good one.

Speaker 5: 33:29

Yeah, no, I don't have anything more on my paper, but I just want to say she looks like she's in her 20s.

Speaker 2: 33:41

I know Right, we like you a baby when you have time to go through this.

Speaker 5: 33:47

It's that fitness we feel young again. Maybe I am going to go to the gym You're about to get fired.

Speaker 2: 33:57

We do not promote fitness here. Okay, we're going to bleep those out and just tell people. We're going to bleep it out and tell people that you were cursing. Every time you say fitness, you're going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like. Oh my God, Every time you say fitness, you have a party mode.

Speaker 5: 34:14

You have a party mode. Oh my God, oh my God, sorry, okay.

Speaker 2: 34:20

We're probably going to get serious again, and actually I'm about to go really, really serious.

Speaker 3: 34:23

I don't know if you said already, but if I just missed it because I was probably thinking about something else. That happens to me all the time. But how did you get connected with?

Speaker 2: 34:35

Some friends introduced them. Get it together. No, no, they were disapeared, yeah. Ya, You'll get my heart and soul back. Whatsup, sir, I'm talking about? Is she? Frozen or are you just acting like? Are you playing a possum, I froze.

Speaker 3: 34:48

You guys froze, so I froze. I was like I don't know what I'm doing here. Oh my god. No, the hero stock guy. No, jason, jason, thank you, oh man.

Speaker 2: 35:03

I might have to edit that out too. We're going to have to edit that out, betsy. I'll send you $100 to get this happen, jason.

Speaker 3: 35:12

How did you get connected with him? I don't know if I remember hearing that or not.

Speaker 4: 35:19

It was through kind of a group of people. I actually don't remember now who individually introduced us because of Tom Edinger, and now they're going to kick my butt because I don't remember everyone's names right now, because I guess I'm panicking.

Speaker 2: 35:37

Oh no, don't pan Damn Rebecca, you make a beautiful face.

Speaker 4: 35:42

No, I have anxiety and when it comes to remembering things right off the bat, my brain shuts off. It happens to me too. Then I feel bad because I suck at remembering names as it is. Then, of course, with the fight series, I'm always reaching out to people and contacting people and just remembering names, so many names and groups and organizations and such it's hard to remember everybody I know, tom Well in your next book.

Speaker 2: 36:11

Just make sure that you put in that you listen to these fucking feelings. Podcast.

Speaker 4: 36:17

Definitely.

Speaker 2: 36:17

And then, micah, I was walking down the street listening to these fucking feelings podcast when you know that's it. I just need one time. We'll be good with that one time.

Speaker 5: 36:27

But it needs to be highlighted.

Speaker 2: 36:29

Right, you're all exclamation, old italic. Back to my very serious question, though. They are veterans and I hope they are watching or listening to our podcast right now. Right, and it's scary to imagine the stuff they go through. And even you, which you said how many times you try to commit suicide yourself. You know no one could give advice more than a person who went through it. So if I was a vet or someone just coming home and I was in that dark place and I was drinking too much, what would you say to me?

Speaker 4: 37:02

Keep fighting the fight Because even when you're off the field, off deployment, coming back home, we still have a fight within us. The VA may not always help us and have our back. Our chain of command may not always be there, but there are veterans on on state side that we're fighting a fight too and we have to stick together. We have to have each other six. Who knows a vet better than a vet? Find another vet and y'all can share stories. Y'all can actually find something y'all can relate to or relate with. Y'all may not have all deployed at the same place, you may not have served in the same areas, same platoons or whatever. Trust me, veterans can connect. You just got to find the right people who are willing to listen and have your back, because they are out there.

Speaker 2: 37:50

There you go Right Now, now, now, in the reverse side, what, what, what are you going to say to America? Who needs to step up, like what needs to change? Put you on blast right.

Speaker 4: 38:03

Well, unfortunately there's not. I don't personally think there is just a one thing that needs fixed. It's not. We can't blame everything with the VA. The VA there's too many veterans, too many situations or circumstances. There's too many for the VA by itself to take care of. That's why I really have kind of promoted and help motivate other organizations. We got to help who we can. We can't help every veteran, but you know if a veteran likes to hunt.

Speaker 4: 38:33

There's organizations for those who like to hunt. There's organizations who like to fish. Maybe you're just a reader, chessboard player or whatever. There's. There are sections, if you will, organizations that focus on that. So you have, you can also find your people that way if you find a common hobby or interest.

Speaker 4: 38:55

Because feeling alone it's very easy, even in a crowded room you can feel alone. You can feel alone being around family, because society really does push on veterans. When you're home, you're going to be around people who love you and who know you. But when you come home, you don't feel like you, you don't have purpose, you don't know who you were. You forgot who you were. That old person of you died inside. You know.

Speaker 4: 39:17

You don't feel like everything's okay. People tell you you're okay, that everything's going to be okay, but you don't. You don't believe it. And whether you have a habit or not, whether it's drinking or drugs or just hanging around people, you shouldn't. Those negative thoughts just linger and they stay there until someone can help you see the light, see the different purpose, a different sight of you.

Speaker 4: 39:45

That is possible, but the sad thing is, more often than not we get drowning into our own thoughts and memories, and a lot of us do miss the military, even though we say we hate it. Oh, you know, bump, that. You know, don't miss anything about it. My leader sucked and didn't listen to me, but you miss it. You miss that camaraderie, you miss the people who were there. You knew you weren't alone, even if you had to do something that was just so boring or, oh, you have to go sweep the. You know the motor pool. You had other people around you. Misery loves company. Well, you had people constantly around you looking after you. If you went missing, trust me, someone was going to look for you here on the civilian side. You go missing, you go wandering off the street and you just give up on life. You're homeless. Now no one's going to come looking for you where you don't feel like anyone will. So it's yeah, you don't let you know everybody right, because I call my boss.

Speaker 2: 40:45

Today I'm like my boss, I was like yo, you okay, because I ain't heard from you all day. Who wants to hear from their boss? Me? I'm calling him up like you alive. I didn't hear nothing from you all day and it's like that's a good thing, why, but sorry Anyway true story.

Speaker 2: 41:01

So if you know me, I'm going to look for you and I care. And it frustrated me, it kind of made me angry, that you said we couldn't save them all. I don't know why it. I mean I know why. I know why, because that should not be a fact. And you said a fact we can't save them all, Like we shouldn't expect to save them all, but we should. We should live in a society where we protect who protects us, All of them, every single one. My bad, that's just my little hot horse for the day because I'm like you know, here it is you a vet and you're saying this out. You know, I'm saying like this is the world we live in and it's crazy. My bad, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5: 41:38

No, it's true.

Speaker 2: 41:40

Yeah, it's like frustrating. I was my next question for you was going to be, because you said that you sometimes you still promote the military, but then you kind of answer that question with all the positive things. Yeah so, but I did one that was going to ask like, well, you know, how would you promote it? Because I know there has to be anger there. So what is it about the military that you love so much? Or what is it about our country that you love so much? And it's crazy that I'm asking that question, right.

Speaker 4: 42:08

Well, what I love about not really actually what I love about our country is the big of everything and we can promote, you know, veterans or whatever you want to believe in, where I can actually write stories about fights. Because when I first wrote it, many veterans even told me not to talk about PTSD in that way or mental health that way. It's better if you actually read it, because you can actually you can kind of see where they were coming from, but at the same time, if we don't talk about it, who will? Because that is one thing I definitely found out in the veteran community, especially when I needed I felt like I needed to talk to a veteran, was that no one wanted to talk about the dark side of PTSD and whether it's just the bad leadership or just how, just those experiences you have in the military. It's something that needs to be said, and that's why fight kind of puts all of that in light. Because I thought even family members needed to know what their veteran was facing. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a different story, experience of everything, but even family members can get at least get an idea of how a lot of veterans do feel when they come home, and so I realized that, even if I had all this pushback from fellow veterans, that there were people out there who were reading it and understanding it.

Speaker 4: 43:35

And then I started getting testimonies later on and then I realized, yeah, that's what it's for. And so I mean there have been people who reached out to me and said I thought of killing myself today, but I read Fight and changed my mind. So that alone is a big deal. And then I had someone who said I need to call you right now and I said okay. So she called me and she said that she is a veteran and that Fight saved her marriage because she just handed the book off to her husband and said you need to read this because this is how I feel.

Speaker 4: 44:11

And they were on the brink of divorce. They both read Fight and they understood kind of what their emotions were trying to tell them and sort of opened more doors for them to open up discussion. So Fight is definitely thought provoking. It is definitely a good discussion starter. Even if you don't agree with everything that Fight says. Maybe you can't relate to everything, it will definitely get you thinking about maybe your friends or maybe you saw someone say or do something similar to the characters. It can probably get you, you know, checking in on them more Like, oh, maybe that's what they meant. And so Fight definitely has a mission, has a purpose, and I sort of made it my purpose.

Speaker 2: 44:57

And that's dope. And you took my next question, so I'm gonna edit this out and put the question before you answer, because I wanted to know is this just a book for veterans or is this something that you recommend like anybody, like me, or civilian grade? And you answer that. So, rebecca, I know how it feels to be you.

Speaker 3: 45:15

It's about time.

Speaker 2: 45:17

Thank you Betsy. Betsy did it because I was like, ooh, if she answer one more question before I get asked, okay, like that. Hello, I don't know. You said you're new to this, so I'm gonna explain. Interviewer interviewer. Okay.

Speaker 3: 45:37

Questions or questions. I guess I could read one.

Speaker 5: 45:42

I have.

Speaker 4: 45:42

ESP? I don't know, it's a thing.

Speaker 2: 45:47

And I had that question ready too. I'm like I reckon I only got this question.

Speaker 5: 45:55

Oh my.

Speaker 2: 45:56

God, no, really, really dark advice, really amazing advice. You said suicide attempts where they like unsuccessful, or did someone find you or save you and you don't have to answer that. That's really, really personal.

Speaker 3: 46:09

Were they unsuccessful I meant Betsy did you understand my question though. That's what I just heard, right.

Speaker 2: 46:20

Betsy, you understood it, though, right.

Speaker 3: 46:22

Betsy, I was trying to say that's totally us right Okay just like I believe a person can wake up dead.

Speaker 2: 46:30

Okay, a person can wake up dead, I know I mean they woke up dead, Okay.

Speaker 3: 46:36

Anything you want to add in out on these interviews at night it's that.

Speaker 5: 46:45

Oh my.

Speaker 2: 46:46

God, rebecca, you are my co-host.

Speaker 5: 46:50

You're my co-host remember.

Speaker 2: 46:53

You are my co-host, remember Mine okay.

Speaker 5: 46:56

That's great. You always tell me I'm glad I can edit these videos myself. You made so many cry. Yeah, it made me cry.

Speaker 4: 47:06

You officially made me cry. There you go. Well, to answer the attempted question, I never on six.

Speaker 3: 47:15

I never on six. So that answer. I had just woke up.

Speaker 2: 47:24

You didn't wake up dead. You didn't wake up dead okay, no, I got, I wake up dead.

Speaker 3: 47:31

So she's here to, I guess.

Speaker 2: 47:34

I would. You were the question. See, now I need to know how you were the question because, like, we had a friend who tried to meet suicide but someone caught them in the middle of doing it and stopped them, and I guess that's what I was trying to ask was like I knew what you were trying to ask you intervened for yourself or did someone else intervene for you? Because we know you didn't wake up dead.

Speaker 3: 47:52

That's a good way to ask a question.

Speaker 2: 47:57

Okay, betsy, you taught me something today. Okay, it's in Ketru in Ketru, but you kept answering them before I asked them, so I was nervous. I get it, I get you, I'm like dang, they gonna fire me from the hole they gonna bring you on.

Speaker 5: 48:16

You got me in the holes, you got me in the holes Girl, let me keep my job.

Speaker 2: 48:22

okay, I'm gonna call Jason and be like no more. No more, Jason.

Speaker 4: 48:28

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 3: 48:30

Okay, that was good, that was good, he should laugh.

Speaker 2: 48:37

That's so sorry. She's like she's about to call Jason right away, like that.

Speaker 3: 48:40

They are crazy Totally okay, you don't wanna answer that crazy question if you don't want to.

Speaker 2: 48:46

Is it a crazy question, though I don't know why, is it okay question to ask?

Speaker 4: 48:51

For me it is. It's okay. I'm okay with that. I fate had it. I just woke up, so it was a lot involved.

Speaker 5: 49:03

Well, we're happy, you woke up.

Speaker 2: 49:04

Oh, definitely, definitely. I'm happy you woke up. Okay, just make that clear. So happy you woke up, I actually it's always I tell people that. Well, not to help people, we have like a podcast phone number and it's like on our website and I started receiving texts one day from a guy who claims to be on a bridge about to jump off. Now I'm silly, so I'm thinking it's a one playing with me. It was a real life situation. I didn't know what to do, so I guess my question was surrounding just that kind of thing, like how does it happen? Or how does it not happen? I don't know, I'm gonna edit all this out.

Speaker 3: 49:40

Okay, it's okay. I can't edit the whole thing, Micah.

Speaker 5: 49:47

So, we just need to invite you. We're gonna invite you back.

Speaker 2: 49:50

Fuck, yeah, we're gonna invite you back and we're gonna record this whole thing all over again, okay, because?

Speaker 5: 49:57

Just a run through rehearsal.

Speaker 2: 49:59

Yeah, just basically. You see, Jason had told me that you were new and he asked me to get you ready because your message is really important. So he wanted to make sure that the message you had was clear. So he asked me to bring you on to coach you a little bit.

Speaker 5: 50:14

So you, know, oh, he really didn't do that, he really didn't.

Speaker 2: 50:20

She knows I'm being facetious. Yes, it's all good, good again, okay, no, really, I mean, you've been really, really amazing. I'm gonna order a fight, right, but I want to autograph copies so we don't have to figure out how we gonna do that. I mean, I want autograph copies of them all.

Speaker 4: 50:37

Oh, too easy, I can send them.

Speaker 2: 50:40

Cool and I'm gonna read them. Are they available? Are they available in audio book?

Speaker 3: 50:45

She said they were already. Yes, lord, you ain't listening.

Speaker 2: 50:49

Is this the audio book? Lord, I'm listening. Okay cool, because I listen to. That's like my hour. I listen to an hour every night for go to sleep because I'm one of those people that just fell into technology Like I couldn't be no soldier. Because you ain't finna, tell me we gotta eat out this low purse, no, oh my God, python loves. I don't mind, I got to wear these boots.

Speaker 5: 51:11

Oh Lord, I mean his feet stink after being in them all day.

Speaker 2: 51:16

You know, what listen?

Speaker 5: 51:17

He knows, he knows.

Speaker 2: 51:18

She's like yeah, it's like listen how they pay tribute to our veterans. No, veterans, we are here for you. I am a lot like Betsy. You can call me. Huh, I'm gonna talk to you, but just know, when you call me, you ready to talk? Okay, we in for like a good hour. You, betcha, I ain't gonna set up. They're gonna be like you know what You're gonna be like I ain't never gonna think about committing suicide again. Suicide ever again. Yes, they be like. I'm over there telling them how my day at work was.

Speaker 5: 51:51

You know I had a truck problem, but and I was thinking when you were.

Speaker 2: 51:56

They're gonna hang up on you and you're gonna call? Them back Right. Look, that's what I was saying. I was thinking about it when you were talking about, like, how you curse out your chain of command or you're yelling at your chain of command, and I was like, well that I must be in the military.

Speaker 5: 52:08

Oh, my God.

Speaker 2: 52:12

Because I was talking to me real crazy at work and I beat air balls oh my God, oh my God.

Speaker 5: 52:20

Not why you look at me, not me, it'd be you.

Speaker 2: 52:25

Okay, that's our problem. So now, betsy, before we go, is there anything that you wanted to say to our viewers and our audience that you didn't get a chance to say?

Speaker 4: 52:39

I guess, if you do get the chance to read the fight series, to definitely leave a review and share it, cause self published I'm it's just me marketing. And then, of course, anytime I get a chance to be on a podcast or speak with another veteran, it's the only time I really get to talk about it and I'm very passionate about it. But the main, of course, main mission, main statement behind the series itself is keep fighting the fight. We all have a fight within us. Yes, we all have a different story. Yes, we, you know, may have some differences, but when it comes to the big game, if you will, we're all fighting.

Speaker 4: 53:17

We're fighting for ourselves, but if we have each other's back, we can help fight that, fight that mental health, fight the demons, the drinking, the drugs. So, whatever you're fighting, if you have someone, the right group, the right people, they're not going to judge you for it and you're not alone in anything. Society will make you feel alone. Politics will separate you. That's why fight doesn't talk about politics anywhere, on any social media. It's out there to separate people. I'm wanting veterans to unite and anyone who is willing to help veterans to unite. So keep fighting the fight, whatever it is you're fighting cause, we can help fight it together.

Speaker 2: 53:59

That's great. It's about community. I think that was a big message Also when Jason Steiner was here community, community. I think it's part of the reason why he he created Hero Stock. Right, it's about the community, but I don't know. So 122 has stuck out in my head all day today. So if you're out there and you are a veteran honestly, if you're anybody and you want a copy of the fight series, we'll pay for it. Up to 122 copies of the whole series. So get at us, visit our website and get your copy of the fight series.

Speaker 3: 54:31

Dang, look at you.

Speaker 2: 54:34

And, yeah, go ahead and promote that too. Yeah, you know, get out your card. Yeah, hit them up, we'll buy the book for them. Wow, now, we thank you so much for being on. It was awesome. Please don't tell Jason we crazy he's gonna be so disappointed in us.

Speaker 3: 54:51

He already knows we have been a little crazy since we talked to him.

Speaker 2: 54:56

I know that's how I feel like I feel like we was real together when he was on and then like Betsy's here and we're falling apart 2.5.

Speaker 3: 55:03

That was when we were really new and I didn't really talk much Now you know this is our coming out episode.

Speaker 2: 55:11

Right, and we just came out. Hey, it's been fun. But, you guys. We definitely thank you so much. We'll definitely list all of Betsy's contact information below, especially so you don't go out there and Google the wrong Betsy cross. And I just started reading about the American flag and stuff.

Speaker 3: 55:30

Lord, I learned that Betsy was born with her teeth.

Speaker 2: 55:36

Did you know that?

Speaker 3: 55:37

She was born with a full set of teeth. Did you know that? Pretty sure she was. You didn't know that she was born with a full set of teeth.

Speaker 2: 55:46

Look how people know this stuff.

Speaker 3: 55:47

She had teeth.

Speaker 2: 55:48

When she was born.

Speaker 3: 55:50

She came out of the womb with teeth in her mouth.

Speaker 2: 55:53

I wonder if she bit her mama on the way out, ah.

Speaker 3: 55:55

Bitch, that's right, that's right. Only Mike would say something like that Lord, I learned the American flag.

Speaker 2: 56:03

Thank you so much for being on. It's great. Thank you guys for watching, thank you for working with us and we will see you next week In a career service. Yes, thank you for serving our country. Thank you for still serving our country, america, don't make me do it. Get your shit together.

Speaker 3: 56:17

Let's start supporting these veterans and each other, supporting the veterans, because they're still doing what they can.

Speaker 2: 56:26

They need to do better.

Speaker 3: 56:27

They just have a lot to do, thank you.

Speaker 2: 56:30

One homeless veteran is one homeless veteran too many.

Speaker 5: 56:32

Exactly Agreed.

Speaker 2: 56:34

And we're going in with that.

Speaker 6: 56:38

And with that we're wrapping up another episode of the Fucking Feeling Podcast. Thank you all for tuning in and engaging in another intense and real discussion on understanding and navigating through our feelings. Don't forget we're here each Wednesday bringing you brand new episodes filled with stories, advice and perspectives to help you handle those fucking feelings. So set a reminder on your calendar, grab your headphones and join us every week. And if you're interested in exploring more ways to deal with life stresses, make certain to tune in to our sister podcast. Trauma is expensive. Dive deep into discussions on managing trauma, building resilience and fostering healing, with new episodes dropping every Monday. Make sure to subscribe, rate and comment on both podcasts on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, each comment and rating can catapult us further towards reaching those individuals who could really use our discussions. Your feedback is invaluable. Before we close, we want to remind you that discussing feelings is never a sign of weakness but a display of courage. Stay brave, stay strong and keep feeling those fucking feelings Until next week. Take care and keep the conversation going.