Embark on an enlightening journey through the emotional and mental landscapes of the human heart with our captivating podcast episode, blending the art of emotional resilience with the transformative power of storytelling. This episode features Heather Warren, an inner life coach celebrated for her profound understanding of emotional complexities and her unexpected pivot to children's book authorship. Together, we navigate the intricacies of personal growth, emotions as catalysts for change, and the profound impact of love on mental health.
From the colorful avenues of Oaxaca to the introspective depths of our ancestry, we weave a rich tapestry of stories and insights. Our backpacking tales uncover how travel and local friendships profoundly shape our intuition and leadership, while Oaxaca's culinary delights invite listeners into a tradition-rich world. We delve into the influence of ancestry on identity, the significance of confronting our triggers, and the power of inner work across personal and professional spheres.
As we conclude this exploratory voyage, we highlight the healing essence of love, the sanctity of trust, and the valor in genuine expression. Facing trauma's shadows with self-compassion's light, we urge our audience to discover strength in vulnerability. With Heather's guidance, we shed light on embracing personal narratives through storytelling, astrology, and family dynamics insights.
Join us for "The Gentle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: Button Pushers Unpacked" on the Fucking Feelings podcast, a sanctuary for those on a healing path. We engage in an empathetic dissection of the emotions defining us, from frustration and anger to the empowering embrace of vulnerability. Heather Warren shares her wisdom, guiding us through embracing and understanding our deepest emotions, offering a fresh perspective on our emotional landscapes.
This journey is a testament to the power of collective vulnerability and the importance of compassionate emotional navigation. Whether in search of solace, answers, or insight into the human condition, this episode stands as a beacon of hope and understanding.
Join our community of seekers and healers on this path toward emotional wellness and self-discovery. Your healing journey begins here, accompanied by a diverse array of topics including love's limits, dealing with survivor's guilt, therapy insights, and even an exploration into witchcraft and astrology, enriching the narrative with profound reflections and strategies for overcoming life's challenges.
#Podcast #MentalHealthMatters #NotGivingAFck #MentalHealthTips #MentalHealthResources #HealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthPodcast #GentleArt #Bullying #MentalHealthRecovery #MentalHealthEducation #MentalHealth #SelfImprovement #Health #SuccessInterview #SafeSpace #Feeling #ButtonPushers #TheseFukkenFeelingsPodcast #TraumaIsExpensive
Heather's Website: https://csoul.ca/
Embark on an enlightening journey through the emotional and mental landscapes of the human heart with our captivating podcast episode, blending the art of emotional resilience with the transformative power of storytelling. This episode features Heather Warren, an inner life coach celebrated for her profound understanding of emotional complexities and her unexpected pivot to children's book authorship. Together, we navigate the intricacies of personal growth, emotions as catalysts for change, and the profound impact of love on mental health.
From the colorful avenues of Oaxaca to the introspective depths of our ancestry, we weave a rich tapestry of stories and insights. Our backpacking tales uncover how travel and local friendships profoundly shape our intuition and leadership, while Oaxaca's culinary delights invite listeners into a tradition-rich world. We delve into the influence of ancestry on identity, the significance of confronting our triggers, and the power of inner work across personal and professional spheres.
As we conclude this exploratory voyage, we highlight the healing essence of love, the sanctity of trust, and the valor in genuine expression. Facing trauma's shadows with self-compassion's light, we urge our audience to discover strength in vulnerability. With Heather's guidance, we shed light on embracing personal narratives through storytelling, astrology, and family dynamics insights.
Join us for "The Gentle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: Button Pushers Unpacked" on the Fucking Feelings podcast, a sanctuary for those on a healing path. We engage in an empathetic dissection of the emotions defining us, from frustration and anger to the empowering embrace of vulnerability. Heather Warren shares her wisdom, guiding us through embracing and understanding our deepest emotions, offering a fresh perspective on our emotional landscapes.
This journey is a testament to the power of collective vulnerability and the importance of compassionate emotional navigation. Whether in search of solace, answers, or insight into the human condition, this episode stands as a beacon of hope and understanding.
Join our community of seekers and healers on this path toward emotional wellness and self-discovery. Your healing journey begins here, accompanied by a diverse array of topics including love's limits, dealing with survivor's guilt, therapy insights, and even an exploration into witchcraft and astrology, enriching the narrative with profound reflections and strategies for overcoming life's challenges.
#Podcast #MentalHealthMatters #NotGivingAFck #MentalHealthTips #MentalHealthResources #HealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthPodcast #GentleArt #Bullying #MentalHealthRecovery #MentalHealthEducation #MentalHealth #SelfImprovement #Health #SuccessInterview #SafeSpace #Feeling #ButtonPushers #TheseFukkenFeelingsPodcast #TraumaIsExpensive
Heather's Website: https://csoul.ca/
You don't have to be positive all the time. It's perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared and anxious. Having feelings doesn't make you a negative person. It doesn't even make you weak. It makes you human and we are here to talk through it all. We welcome you to these fucking feelings podcast, A safe space for all who needs it. Grab a drink and take a seat. The session begins now.
Speaker 2:What is up? Yeah Well, she buzzed, hmm, buttons. Let me see, crystal is really not a button pusher.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right Okay.
Speaker 2:I think I'm more. I think in life I'm more of the button pusher, which is probably something really, really bad. I don't know Is it good or bad to push buttons. What do you think? Heather, we're just going to start in conversation. Let's go.
Speaker 3:Let's start I would say it's a comment, especially as a life coach with doing it, you're kind of there's a challenge of the job of finding like your job is to make you know, reveal what is not comfortable and reveal what somebody might be hiding. So I think there's a role for the button pusher, so long as it's not aggressive or crossing boundaries that the person doesn't want to go to, but it's. I think there's a role for it. It's part of the growth process, growth is not comfortable.
Speaker 2:It's like a person that pushes buttons, would you say. They're also like devil's advocate. Can they kind of go hand in hand, okay, cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's a role for that, it's good.
Speaker 2:My actual co-host, rebecca. She is actually. She just took a day off. She heard her back yesterday painting a house or something. Does more than I would ever do. I'm with you she heard her back, so that's why she's not here today. But she is the devil's advocate and everything.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Like she's always going to find, like the, if it can possibly have a negative situation that could pop up, period. She has thought about it and we're just going to.
Speaker 3:Some kind of saved from that. Today I'm sort of like the gentle version.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Today you will get the gentle version, but you know we might have to bring you back on just so she could torture you. No, really.
Speaker 3:It is Halloween after all. I mean, I'm surprised you guys would ever.
Speaker 2:So, okay, well, I guess we'll do formal introductions. I am a mica. This is crystal. She's filling in for Rebecca. Today You're watching these fucking feelings podcast. Season three, where we're continuing our focus on mental health, now has a little bit for this season. We kind of actually are focused on the love aspect of mental health, this kind of season, so I might get some love questions and just your opinion on love and it just love in general. So, but before we go into that, our guest today is Heather Warren, and I'm a little dyslexic, right, so I can sit up here and like try to read an introduction for you, but we're not going to do that because I'm going to mess it up. So we're just going to ask you to introduce yourself to our audience and just let him know a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3:Okay, where do I begin? All right, so Heather Warren. Professionally I'm an inner life coach. I also have self published two children's books and a spiritual memoir, and, but I'm one of these eternal volunteers. I do things on the side of an arts admin. I have a background in theater, so I really believe in the human journey of expression and soul and seeking and trying to actualize and sort out one's self, including emotions and a little bit. I live in Ontario, canada, in a small city. I'm with my dog. I choose to be child free and yeah, good, all right, awesome, yep, child free by choice. I like my sanity and yeah, so I don't know what else to add to that right now. I mean, we'll definitely dive in.
Speaker 2:We'll dive in, we'll figure out the rest of it.
Speaker 4:What made you write children's books?
Speaker 2:Right and not that kids that's like my first question and what are the names of?
Speaker 3:the books. Okay, right, yeah, it is definitely one of these like weird conflicts, as being a child, free by choice, person, and writing children's books, so it's one of these inner conflicts, but I would say partly. I nurture my inner child, so writing the inner, the children's books is part of that, and the two. The one is the stellar queen of Oaxaca and it's based on my trip to Mexico, oaxaca City, mexico. I backpacked across Mexico for two and a half months and then I lived in Oaxaca City for six months. I was planning to move there and I met a really amazing woman who, single mom, who was visually impaired from birth, and she navigated a very challenging culture for ablest issues or not having enough supports for it, and I learned so much from her, from seeing from the heart, like I, really intuition, following your intuition, your senses, and so I wrote the book based on her as the heartfelt leader and then celebrating the Mexican culture, even from me as an outsider looking in.
Speaker 2:Right, is it number one? I got two questions. Yeah, yes, you know, the book is about her and you got you guys still in contact.
Speaker 3:We aren't anymore, unfortunately, because of issues of whether it's technology, poverty, challenges in Mexico, we have lost connection. I was able to send money to her with raising funds for the book, like part of the sales of the books was to go to an organization for street children, and then partly to her and then to myself and my illustrator. So I was able to send money during that time for her, but just I don't know where she is right now, unfortunately yeah, but she gave permission to write it and I sent her copies of it and she said she liked it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that has to be an amazing this year and be an inspiration for a book. And wherever you are, we hope you're doing well. Yes, you're blessed and happy.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, absolutely no, she needed to be praised Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Definitely, Definitely. You know I'm going to do it so okay. Now we can go into book number two.
Speaker 3:Max's Marvelous Mustache and it's based on my dog.
Speaker 2:I don't think I want to read Something Kelsey will read.
Speaker 3:It's perfect for November, for Movember, my dog. So he's my fur baby and so Max is my dog, and it was all about not liking the trip Like he was. He's a small dog, so everybody calls him. Oh, he's so cute. Like every time people see him he looks like a teddy bear and I was like God, he must get sick and tired of this. Like he wants to be taken seriously. But the story was inspired by my nephew who looked in the mirror when he was eight years old and he's like I am getting a mustache. Oh, wow. I said this must be because I didn't grow up with a brother or boy culture or anything. And I was like, wow, this must be that rite of passage. You know, like you're, you're, you're getting older because you have a mustache, and so I he did a lot more about manifestation than we did.
Speaker 3:Exactly, exactly. So I just merged the two, like the two kind of dudes in my life who were young and it was all about Max having to getting bullied by the big dogs because he's so cute and he ends up getting a styling mustache from the groomers and becomes the trendsetter. So I wrote that piece for him.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna buy that book. Okay, I'm gonna get them both because we believe in support.
Speaker 3:But I want autographed copies.
Speaker 2:We can talk about that later.
Speaker 3:I will, I'm gonna keep it Okay, perfectly happy to.
Speaker 2:But okay, my question number one. You said backpack for six months.
Speaker 3:Mm, hmm, I had to be. Oh, it was two and a half months for backpacking.
Speaker 2:Oh, and you were sleeping in like in the street, in the woods and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:No, it's like, definitely not in Mexico. I wouldn't know, I wouldn't suggest that oh okay, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 2:I just had to clarify what do you mean by backpacking Like you was just out there in the desert.
Speaker 3:It's not, that's extreme. No, not extreme, not extreme. Okay.
Speaker 2:There's a, there's a subculture of like much.
Speaker 3:I feel much earlier I figured how to pronounce it. But backpackers who are going to hostels and going, you know that sort of scene, the international. I run water, running water, running toilets, so it's mostly taking buses and going across the country and back.
Speaker 4:So yeah, yeah, I mean everything has to fit in a backpack, all right, yes, oh, so that's what backpacking means.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You gotta go, you gotta go somewhere and you gotta do some stuff and it's going to be gone. You need boots.
Speaker 3:No, no no, no, no, no, no, not wilderness backpacking.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it requires, like I wear boots passionately, but it requires me to wear boots.
Speaker 4:We need to have another conversation. And you don't do bugs, no bugs, no bugs.
Speaker 3:No, and it's kind of hard to avoid a Mexico because you've got black widow spiders, scorpions in some places, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, I've never really been a fan of Mexican food.
Speaker 3:So, but you know why.
Speaker 2:And maybe this is an assumption or a stereotype that maybe I need to get over. I don't do cheese and I feel like every Mexican dish has cheese.
Speaker 3:That's Tex-Mex.
Speaker 2:Right, that's all I'm going to say. It's probably not true, it's probably okay. Maybe I need to go to Mexico. You talked me into it.
Speaker 3:Well, oaxaca City. That's part of why I went there. I lived there for six months and they are known for UNESCO heritage site for food and culture, so they've preserved the indigenous pre-colonial dishes and foods from way back before Columbus came in and took over, or Cortez and yeah. So you get these like amazing dishes that are definitely not. It's not cheese, because they didn't use dairy cows and All of that back then. So it's a lot of vegetables, a lot of spices, chocolate. Zeebra and shit right no, no zebra, no zebra, but grasshoppers oh.
Speaker 2:Thank you to see jump. I don't want to eat one.
Speaker 3:You know, maybe there okay, you know what?
Speaker 2:hello, I have an issue with food period, right, I don't want to eat, I don't want to consume food, I just. I just Meets are bad for you, right or not that they're bad for you, I just, the animals is cute. And then, okay, cool is the circle life thing, whatever heard it I know, which I mean. I still just can't rock with it, right? So, and then I don't like vegetables because I think I have really, really strong taste buds. Oh no, I for is a psychologist, psychological thing where I feel like I can taste the dirt in it like dirt, and it's like that's what it tastes like to me. So I don't do anything. Anything that's grown, I can't do it. I don't want nothing out of a can. Because it's out of a can, I don't do any sauces no, sauces like nothing.
Speaker 2:Nothing.
Speaker 3:Do you have fruit?
Speaker 2:Watermelon. You like what I do. I do like watermelon and like I can rock with fruit every now and then, but it has to be like a real legit like I don't know, maybe like a craving or A moment, you know, like if I I may want to orange, but if I buy a bag of oranges most of them I'm gonna go bad. That kind of situation, right, right it'll be one off or so do, you do smoothies or how.
Speaker 3:What do you? What do you eat for?
Speaker 2:rollups Box sleeps with me. I promise y'all we gonna get to the purpose of the episode, but I sleep with a box next to me. Okay, my fruit rollups is my man. It got its own pillow, okay.
Speaker 4:And then what's? Hurry his phone.
Speaker 3:I'll mail you a care package with fruit rollups and my children's books.
Speaker 2:Right, there you go, okay, and then I'll be good for like a month, but, seriously, I know I need to eat more than that, but it's like I just don't want to eat. It's something about. I'm like, oh, but I will eat because I am fat. Now, like it's weird. It's weird, I don't know, in your coaching and that's something you could help me with my soul.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'd probably. I mean, if there's actual taste issues, it might even be a type of disordered eating pattern. That might be a level of beyond my realm of therapeutic Experience.
Speaker 2:But good and some a special case. I get it.
Speaker 3:Just it would be probably there's. There's deeper stuff there, for sure, and it would be.
Speaker 2:Checked like for the anorexia not check, but you know like I've done it's hot to people. They thought like I was anorexic one time or they thought those things. But it's like no, I mean I'll eat it because I know I gotta eat it and I know that something tastes good. You know, I got each cop over here that crystal burned. I can't wait.
Speaker 3:Great see. Like the sweets.
Speaker 2:I do, I do like sweets and I like bread a lot, like I like all the carbs, yeah, yeah. I don't like cheese. I really ain't into eggs. I mean, I like bacon, but I don't like ham.
Speaker 3:So it's. So the protein thing is challenging.
Speaker 2:I just got found like the kind bars though, so they have like you know whatever, and they're like almonds and chocolate and all the things I like, so I kind of been like rock.
Speaker 3:I would be so fascinated by. Can I, if you feel comfortable sharing? But what's your ancestral lineage?
Speaker 2:So it's okay, I am a little bit of everything, but I think majority of it is like 14% Lithuanian ah and then it was 12% Nigerian. Okay, then I was 11% Puerto Rican, like United States, and then it was like a whole bunch. You know, it's like a percent Jew and German.
Speaker 3:Okay. So because I mean, if you talk about eat for your lineage or eat for your type and all of this stuff, it's like that would be an interesting thing to explore what the the diet was in Lithuania at the time of your ancestors, the diet in Nigeria For your dominant ones, and because it would make sense like in Nigeria a lot of it, or I don't know if my night Nigeria, but in Lithuania, eastern Europe, I mean, you're dealing with potatoes and I do love a lot of cabbage, pierogies you know stuff like that that might have been.
Speaker 3:And so probiotic stuff for fermented foods it would make sense. You wouldn't like vegetables, especially if the if the ancestry left you don't have to look at this goes into the family. Constellations work I do with people, but it's like it goes into you know, with the reason why, like when did your family leave or your ancestors leave? And then what was the reason? Like if it was war times, if it was all of that's, then there was a way of relating with the ancestors by staying connected to them through some of your dietary choices perhaps. Hmm, oh.
Speaker 3:So that's where I could look at the soul level. But it's, yeah, it would be interesting to know and to see if you could incorporate some of those foods from Nigeria and Lithuania.
Speaker 2:You sold me already. I just recently got into kind of the ancestry stuff, like I just recently did it. That's the reason why, like percentages are really kind of fresh, because we joke with my brother I'm like the whitest person in the family.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, but I have like the more minority DNA. Okay. So we always, you know, our family as my mom, is priority, priority Puerto Rican. That's kind of how we were brought up. But I tell everybody about how I'm more Puerto Rican than though, but I don't see Spanish or things like that. I'm Puerto Rican in you. You know what you're talking about. I'm fascinated, like now, kind of about like ancestry and just yeah. And then, in starting a podcast, it also helps me think about I never wanted to leave a legacy. Maybe this is something else we can talk about. When talking about the soul, I felt like I wasn't that important enough.
Speaker 3:You know I didn't need a legacy and I didn't want kids.
Speaker 2:I didn't do anything with my life. Really that's worth Discussing. You know, I was a bad person. When I needed to be a bad person I was a great person. When I need to be a great person I was human. But in that I didn't, you know, kill 300 people, so no one needs to know how it was bad. And I didn't save 300 people, so no one really needed to know how it was good. So, you know, I didn't want kids. So it was like legacy wasn't kind of like important thing until I started this podcast and I started to see the touch behind it and now it's like I'm thinking about like that Are there other people in my family that did do significant things but thought the way that I thought and we don't know about? So I have been interested in like searching more into my ancestry.
Speaker 3:It's so even just. I mean I don't know where, if you want me to continue on with sharing on this one, but my can be just what you shared, I Even.
Speaker 3:This may even help put some pieces together. So In Mexico there was a poet that I read. It was it Aztec poets? This is like ancient, ancient. It was literally just one line when I was the library reading it and it said something like the person who chooses not to carry on the line is essentially there to tie up, tie the ends of the like family tapestry. So the people who choose to be child-free are the ones who are tying up the knots of the family lineage and the ancestors To make the complete tapestry.
Speaker 3:So it makes sense to me that you are speaking stories. Your, your path is more about sharing your truth or helping others share their truth. So you're wrapping up the tapestry of your family and the feeling that you know your legacy is Less about the human form, like creating, bringing in a child and all of this, and it has more to do with acknowledgement and sharing and talking and speaking truths and being the button pusher, like you're trying to get all of the whether it was the Traumas or the things hidden or the things not talked about. You're trying to get those resolved, and so that's usually the role of the, the person who chooses to child, to be child-free. We can go into a whole history of their place in a family system, but Usually they're the seers or the, the ones who are the, what you want to call the wise people or the, because they can step back and observe and observe society, or observe the.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, I love watching. Exactly, they're the artists.
Speaker 3:They're the ones they can. People will go to and say, do you have advice on this? And unfortunately our society has it where, if you're not a parent, somehow your perspective doesn't matter when it comes to parenting or when it comes to raising kids or anything so. But historically, and you can go back to even Don't quote me on the exact like we're in African tribes, and I know, you know not to romanticize the cultures, but just being going back to those times where the woman who couldn't bring forward a child or chores not to she was often consulted. You know it's like. You know, what should we do about the politics in the community? How do we raise our kids? Are we doing this Well, and so we just don't have a place for that. But it makes sense to me that you're doing. This podcast was kind of what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we kind of just believe here we always kind of let the conversation when we're gonna go. We're gonna touch on a little bit of everything, but yeah, that was. That was pretty cool and it was funny because she we're reading your website, but she was just reading the top portion of the about us.
Speaker 4:And it was all hands.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she was like.
Speaker 4:All you. Oh yeah, so, but so let's talk to.
Speaker 2:I guess you can like paraphrase what's on your website and what we're talking about, just so people know what we're talking about. But that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go ahead and do that. Can you like paraphrase what's on your website and what we're talking about, just so people know what we're talking about? But definitely go.
Speaker 3:So I mean I, my main work within our life coaching is working with weary, heartfelt leaders and Helping them to go in, restore their heart, access their truth. So, really, truly the ideas Change really starts with our heart like it, that's where it first begins. So oftentimes we'll get people in leadership positions who end up Ah, behaving poorly, shall we say? Or behaving and like reacting rather than responding, or Projecting instead of going. Wait a second. Why is this triggering me? Why am I, why do I care so much about this and can end up in Codependent dynamics, right, instead of going? Does this bring me joy? Does this bring me peace? How could I not unknot my patterns? So I'm not Continuing dysfunction or I'm not continuing, I'm not doing this from a place of rescuing or having to save people, going into hero complexes. And you know when I describe it as why I love doing the soul work. Piece of it is.
Speaker 3:You know, I feel like anyone who's called, anyone who wants to do inner work at some level, is a leader, right, they're taking leadership over themselves, or they're taking leadership over their community or their family or their life, and they want to take responsibility and make an impact, right, so, and and that that impact doesn't have to be like. Sometimes we have this idea that we have to be big in our impact. You know it has to be like gargantuan. But when we actually listen to that small inner voice that often we being busy and stress and all of that gets in the way of it, if we listen to that inner, still inner voice, it becomes so clear like, oh, this just feels natural, this is just naturally me, this is what I do, and we have so many things to unpack around socialization, and you know other people's perspectives and pressures to pay the bills and you know all of this that it can get in the way from actually going.
Speaker 3:But wait a minute, like who am I? What do I want and Whose voice am I listening to? Is it my voice? Is it my great uncle who passed away thousands of years ago? Is it, you know, my father? My, you know? Can we get back into like taking that quiet time?
Speaker 2:all these dead people I see around me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all the dead people around like totally like, where is this pressure coming from? Where is the? Whereas the and I loved, like the part that I love doing with the spiritual aspect of it, is that it is. We have so many different influences, right, and Especially, like I love, this is what I love about Halloween is the ancestor realm, but it's like there's this we don't realize, like when, when working with family constellations work, which I put into my coaching practice we end up almost like subconsciously being loyal to our ancestors in ways that were like is this really me?
Speaker 3:Like, and it sounds crazy, but it's like, is this really? Am I this person who needs to go down this path or am I just Doing this for some kind of weird approval? Right, and we often don't even know the answer. Like we just like we the work with Constellations. As they say, when you work with the realm of what you don't know, like if we, if there's a missing ancestor and missing family member, if something's disconnected, you're gonna try to include that family member, ancestor member in some way, so you might keep attracting the psychopathic lover.
Speaker 2:She has a psychopathic lover in her life. Like really does. I hope you do not watch this episode. I was joking about it at first, but I just realized.
Speaker 4:So what made you do what you do, like what made you, as your reason, um, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, I would probably say this was my circling back to Mexico, when I was there and I felt, you know, whenever you go on a journey away from home and comfort zones and so forth, like I grew up as a kid for three years in Jamaica, so it's not that being in a foreign country was different for me.
Speaker 3:I experienced other cultures, but being there actually faced, you know, like there was a lot of political uprising at the time, there was shutdowns, almost like so it was dangerous, there was a lot of danger and the danger of Black Widow spiders, and so I was in that place where I was like, wow, I literally could die as I walk out the door. So I felt like I was facing death every day, right, and but I'm like everybody here faces death every day Like what is the way you cope? What is the way that you deal with this? And to actually like there's such a deep spirituality in Oaxaca and it's anybody who's from Mexico and you say Oaxaca City, people will be like, oh, oaxaca, like it's magical. So I had these secrets, sorry.
Speaker 2:I said I still ain't going. No, you don't want the grass.
Speaker 4:How magical it is. Do it over the internet. No, I just wanted to play that out.
Speaker 3:And it had like the ancient ruins there. So I felt like I'd immersed myself into like old, ancient culture and questioning of life, death, existentialism and all of this, and I felt like I was. I'm like I may not come back home and that's you know. Can I be at peace with that? Is there anything that I've done or I've done Same thing, like what am I proud of? What am I not proud of? Have I been hiding from my purpose, my destiny, all those same questions that you were speaking about, mika, so the and it's very much in that like it's in that culture, so like every day, like there's a profound understanding of your destiny. And so it was just around me and I was really questioning. I'm like, wow, I really haven't looked at my ancestors, I haven't.
Speaker 3:I left home when I was 16. So I felt like I ran away from my family and I was like I can't be running all my life. You know, like I have to. I have to look at me, no matter where I am. That's where I am Right.
Speaker 3:So I think that piece around the inner growth work and the importance of am I at peace, am I complete in my life so you know, I did make it home. Thankfully and I would say a lot of it has to do with white privilege of being Canadian I was able to go back home with my passport and made it through the systems. So the coming back to my hometown, which is where I live now, and having to face and I wouldn't even say that I did a lot of bad things, but I would say out of out of integrity, my own integrity, my own standard, my own way I want to live I fell into parting too much of my twenties. I fell into being with the wrong kind of people for intimate partners, like it was. Just like who am I? And I'm totally confused in my life.
Speaker 2:I think what everybody goes to under its 20s.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you have to right Like it's just if you're going to make it back home? Are you going to make it back home to yourself?
Speaker 2:And then just some people just stay in their 20s, even though they 60, but that's a whole nother episode.
Speaker 3:So that should be my fear factor on my website. Like, don't be that 60 year old who's still a teenager, do your inner work.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so one thing. But I was so there. I just sort of left, I put everything over to what I call the divine at that point where it was just like, all right, I have no control over whether I live, die, I have no control over why I'm here, like I felt called there. And then I was like, and I'm in the middle of a revolution, so I'm like, why am I here? So I just kept following my literally following my heart and going. I'm following where the Gert, there's kindness, I'm following where there's.
Speaker 3:I feel like there are good people, and rena being one of them for my children's book, and it just led me out of danger. Like it's this idea that love really does lead you and guide you and you need to follow those hunches Right. And so when I came back, all of a sudden I met people who are doing family constellations, where it felt like almost like the door opened as soon as I made a choice to follow spirit or choice to follow my heart. It was like this mentor came in, this opportunity came in, and I was all of a sudden doing energy healing and family constellations, work and coaching and doing my own, receiving coaching, and it was like, wow, I just, I literally opened the door and it was like you know the idea when the student is ready, the teacher will come.
Speaker 4:Right right right.
Speaker 2:I need to open the door, but then I'm scared was behind the door Because I think there's a boogeyman in my closet.
Speaker 4:Sorry, like more of the change, like make that step to yes jump.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I'm actually some going through like this big healing stage. I just made the jump to actually back up everything I had and moved away from everybody. It's so funny, like in my little Nissan that is what came with me and he's just being here as like life has completely changed. But it was my job. Now is kind of like a big headache, not because me. Not because you know it's like you work for, like one of the biggest companies in the world, but they suck. I'm sorry, it's just corporate America, I think.
Speaker 2:I honestly I feel like every company having the same challenge right now. But yeah, so because of that, the other day I was on LinkedIn and someone invited me to a job and I was reading it and everything that they needed I could do. I was like, oh, this is nothing. And then the salary was like twice what I'm making now and I was like I should apply. But now my issue is that I feel like I can never show people my intelligence or leave me, or leave me.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we can talk about that off air. I got that position. I could take you with me. I always think about the team, but it's so. It's like if they gave me the opportunity to show them I could do the job. I could do the job. They would know within an hour like, okay, this guy did the job. But I grew up with a lot of realization and because of that there was a lot of silence and part of the way I survived that was kind of like building my own Lego city inside of me. So, and it changed as I grew up in my city, but it was always within. I read a lot of books. I studied a lot of things. I used to read everything people, magazines, women's home, health journal, men's fitness. If it had words I was reading it. So I just a lot. But I never got to use what I consume. But I knew I never want to lose it, so I found ways to compartmentalize it or whatever. I don't know. This is just what I'm talking. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, totally makes sense.
Speaker 2:No, it kind of what I did right. It totally makes sense, because sometimes it's okay. So because of that is like I wasn't allowed to show who I was, because I always needed to be who somebody else wanted me to be, they told me to be, but I still knew that I needed to protect part of myself and that part that I protect is a freaking genius Like that person probably really really solve world hunger, right.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, yeah, and we didn't have to kill nosy bros. Right, right.
Speaker 2:Right. We don't have to eat vegetables. We can eat it in and get all the vitamins and nutrients we need. But definitely I don't know how to explain that to somebody and I find it it's like now, like always, sorry, but he like I'm the ghetto person in office and I say that like, not on a racist standpoint, but just what people think of ghetto people. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Like oh they're, you know, like they're not that intelligent or that, and that's kind of the vibe I give, but I'm probably the best at what I do. You know and they have seen and it's like I don't know how to like open that door to let those parts of me that I spent 40 years protecting out.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:I know that I need to, because that's the only way that others will see my full potential.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh nice.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like you'd have to right, like what it would be looking at. What is the fear of opening that up? Like? What would the fear be? Because there's that's exactly like. So there's various. You know everybody has different. I've worked with people who've had, you know, child molestation and sexual trauma and their childhood and so forth and how one interprets it can be various spectrums but the you know there's, as you say, the protection piece, but also the piece around. You know there could be things I'm just going to bring this up as just and wherever it lands, but just like it could be the part of, if I, if I share this, it could be taken away from me. If I share my genius, that could be taken away from me If I. You know what Crystal was saying if I, the fear of what was it, crystal? You were saying the fear of Taking advantage of Taking advantage of right and being exploited again.
Speaker 3:And then you'd have to take a look at the scenarios as to you know what were the conditions of the abuse and you know was it I don't know enough about your story they can. I'm sorry if it's any triggering anything at all, but the piece, you know, was it around a school, setting a teacher and so forth. Like how is, might it be connected to intellect and how might it be connected to? Because children want to fit in, they want to be belonged, they want to be loved, they want to be safe, right? So there's a piece. You have a huge gatekeeper that's helping you, which is your fear, right?
Speaker 3:And saying like I don't want to share this and I need to, and it's almost like we'd have to explore what would make me feel safe. Like what do I need to feel safe so I can share a little bit of it, right? So it's almost like you have to. It's like a little child. This is the inner child piece of like. As a loving parent, you know, if you see a child in the corner who's scared and afraid, then you would reach out to the child and say, hey, can I come closer? Well, okay, just a little bit right. So then and then. So you want to treat that inner child piece very much like that, like always creating safety. And so, even if it is like hey, why don't I just write out my ideas in a journal and put it away in a safe that nobody can read? But at least they're on paper, right?
Speaker 4:I feel, like I want to read it though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, right, do do be that fear. See, I'd be thinking of making it for the journal or like writing, because I do love writing. I write really, really well. Once again, because that's the one time I can let my inside out yes, when I'm writing. Yes, because I'm not speaking it. Yes, I write so well that my co-host doesn't think I write it and she can see me writing it, so you're a brilliant writer.
Speaker 4:Just like comes out.
Speaker 2:So amazing and she'd be like oh my God, I'm reading this and I know that you wrote it, but I can't believe you wrote it and I'm like thanks, bitch.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know, should I take that as a compliment or not?
Speaker 2:But yeah, but then I'm always scared that if I tell my truth in that writing, which is something I didn't start to do with a plug, I did write a book, so which? Book is it and it's about my battle with cancer. It's called Love Beyond the Battle and I kind of say part of my story is a lot to do with love. I kind of learned to love cancer and it was in learning to love cancer that I was able to destroy it.
Speaker 4:Amazing.
Speaker 2:Now that's another story, right, because I know people be like the chemo did that it did, but I did it too, okay.
Speaker 3:You chose like yeah, because it goes either way for people right and somehow by you accepting it. Your body accepted it, Absolutely Right.
Speaker 2:I always tell people to talk about my cancer because for some reason when I bring up like cancer and just my thoughts and belief about it, I always get this hate email where someone's offended. Right and my cancer I promise, I'm not trying to offend nobody, but I can only speak my truth and kind of what I went through. A lot of it was love, right.
Speaker 2:So, and I think it was the love that helped me get over my sexual traumas and I'm not saying get over it, but it's no longer what holds me Now. I'm learning, now that I'm past that phase.
Speaker 2:like my family members molested me and I still talk to them, so you know, and it's like I can talk to them and not be angry and have no hatred, and sometimes part of me feels bad because they had to do that or they felt they had to do it. So it's like maybe a little too much compassion. But whatever, it comes from love, right, and I'm still learning. I'm just getting in this phase, so you know that's why I do everything your website talks about. I over give, I over share, I over do, I over compensate, because I'm just learning what love is and its capabilities.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes I want to give it to everybody, because everybody just deserves to have it. There shouldn't be people in this world that don't know what love is. I just don't know how to accept that.
Speaker 3:You know, and I think that's. Thank you, mika, for sharing so openly about that journey, because I think there's by that is the example right that gives people like by you sharing what you shared about the sexual abuse and about cancer and so forth. It's like that's you've come to a place of acceptance, or acceptance not that it was okay or anything, but just like in the present, you're not as affected by it because you know you're lovable and you're in a place of wanting to like once you choose love. This is the whole. If you want to go into, like, the idea of free will, but whatever you feel like saying we could go into okay.
Speaker 3:But you know I don't want it to sound religious or, like you know, necessarily Christian based, but it's like this idea of once we choose to be loving or we choose the loving approach. It's a different approach than our ego trying to force things, control things. You know, truly that idea of let go, let God or goddess or divine that your, that's the example, that would be the beautiful example, like you don't have to do anything and you don't even have to give that love to anyone. But when you're sharing, this is how I overcame and it was through the power of love and acceptance and people are like wow, where am I not Like truly we? I like the part.
Speaker 3:We can't play God, we can't love everyone, even though I heard this from this is this was the turning point for me in some of this journey with even around codependency stuff is this is a man who has passed away now, but he was doing a support group for men who were released from prison and they were having to be integrated into society and most of them were sex offenders. And he just he said to me so through his experience and he's like, yep, there's lots of drama. He said you know what, heather? One thing I always tell them is that God loves all of us, but our job is to become lovable. So it's not. It's also not our as individuals, as humans. We need to be in a place of non-harm. We need to be in a place where nobody's free of judgment, nobody's free of whatever. But if we can go, I can have compassion for this person. But it's not my job to fill their love cup. That's between them and their creator, their spirit source, whichever. They need to find that love within themselves.
Speaker 2:I love them and I feel that cup. Yes, right, and that's where I'm okay, like that's. My current state right now is even to the point where sometimes I am like ashamed of my success or the recognition that we've been getting and we've been doing really well, and it's like I don't celebrate it. I feel like I'm. I know so many people who are miserable and sad and their life is not quite as okay as mine is.
Speaker 4:And you know that goes back to the same as you not sharing.
Speaker 2:I know, I know, I know it does, but to me this time, though, it was like I don't know. It was like I feel like people will take it as like bragging, or like I'm throwing it in their face and you know and another part of it is like how dare me be happy when other people are so sad?
Speaker 3:So I can speak to that.
Speaker 3:Just a little bit, just a little bit. So there's two things that can happen, especially if we're survivors on some level, is survivors guilt. So when we finally break through a sort of block or a barrier, we can go into survivors guilt and we look back at people who might be struggling the same way we did, and then we go, but why me Like, why do I get this? And this person doesn't get this? But to acknowledge, like you made choices or you shifted something in yourself, you made a different choice and I had to, like you know, I've had to look at. I'm sure we can find analogies of like wise teachings around this, but you can have a person who has tons of money and they're still miserable. Or you can have somebody who has hardly anything and they know how to find a place of peace and a happiness. So half of it has to do with your attitude, you know, and partly your shifts in attitude has led you to the use that I'm leaving, I'm getting in the car, I'm going to meet, I'm opening up to the universe and the universe is blessing me on some level and I'm meeting the right people at the right time. And the fact that your heart is listening to it, the fact that you're following your path and you're it's like.
Speaker 3:And then there's a side that your whole being has to catch up to is like why me? And what's beautiful about it through your heart, is you don't want to go to the ego place of going I'm better than everyone, Like that you're checking yourself, You're going. Okay, I don't want to come across like I'm. You know I have no compassion or no empathy or so forth, which isn't true. Anybody, even just meeting you online, I can tell you have empathy coming out of you. It's just the. You know, it's the hardest part of catching up to what seems like worldly success, but it's not that you are exploiting people with it. It's not like you're, you're actually helping people, Right. So it's like the more successful you are, the more lives you can touch. And then it but it's you could show up, wake up and just be miserable and just show up and do your jobs.
Speaker 4:I want to see a miserable Micah.
Speaker 2:I told him this is what Micah like once. Okay, In the eighth year, look into all the years.
Speaker 4:All my world is coming.
Speaker 2:The years that I've known them. I had one bad day and it's all like, should I like, should I do. You know what was crazy? That most I'm not going to say most of my bad days. I really don't have a lot of bad days, but my bad days are never caused by me.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:Right? Or is it Because you let yourself get that mad oh?
Speaker 2:I do because sometimes things is just so I don't know not love.
Speaker 3:Some things are not loveable. Totally, totally. It's obsessed me, it's like yo.
Speaker 2:can we just love each other and love what we do, and just love life and love existence and just love each other? I just want a peaceful world. Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 3:You know, honestly, micah, that's the like I think this is the hard part about. I call them the highly sensitive people, right, and like, the more you grow spiritually and the more that you grow in that kind of awareness of like can we just treat each other with love and kindness and not war and conflict and all these things. And it's harder the more that you open up and the more that you heal and the more that you realize what's functional and what's not. The harder it is to kind of deal with the world. You know, and at the same time, the fact that you woke up to this means that there's, you know, there's not just you, but like anybody waking up to this. It's like that's where the hope lives, right, that's why I love doing the heart field leader stuff, because I'm like we can't. I used to act with tons of activism and protesting and all this stuff and I'm like, but it has to be like I still do my signing petitions and I'm still engaged in my own ways, but I don't have hope for peace on earth in my lifetime, right, and I know that it's so complicated with people's traumas, inequalities, poverty, issues, what it like so much is needs to be healed or addressed. But I have hope in the people who are like I just want to be a better person today, next week, next month.
Speaker 3:And the hard part is protecting your heart from a world that people are in survival mode, you know, and if there's anything to just go into compassion, it's just to go. People are in survival mode, whether it's how it's manifested is just absolutely evil, or if it's just like, wow, this person is doing something out of their protection place that you know as trauma survivors. I think that's where the greatest we can actually be, the greatest movements of compassion, because we can say I went through this. I have compassion even for the perpetrator, I even have compassion for right, and so that's where each of our missions can come in is to go wow, you know what this is, what I've survived. I have compassion for what this person went through. I have compassion for what the victims went through. I can have compassion for the healing process, and then that's where the heart comes in, you know, because it's real compassion, it's not fake sympathy.
Speaker 2:Right. So now your work combines like a little bit of everything, right? Because I know you somewhat like the constellations, so it's like you kind of tie and everything together, is it? My question is crazy. Whatever you say family, you work with individuals by themselves too, or does it have to be family?
Speaker 3:Well, just actually I only work with individuals, so I'll work with their family system as far as through, like their story experiences. But we also set up, like some of these piece. I used to do groups but COVID happened. I just want to be at home in my front of my computer and work with people and I actually prefer one on one because then it we can actually get into honest truths. So and then? But we I look at their ancestors and my knowledge as a family constellations facility facilitator to look at patterns they may not have addressed or looked at. And and then I do deep coaching questions. You know, just like.
Speaker 3:So what was this like for you? What is your hope in this? What do you? You know, what are you believing because of this? And they'll have their personal, what I call the sweet aha is they'll have these breakthroughs. That it's almost like in traditional therapy you're just dealing with the person and you're just dealing with their truth and they're not dealing with the collective. Looking at all the pieces, the relationships there, you know maybe their lens might be shifted. You know it needs to be shifted to go. What about what happened over here? And and I like working, I also do Oracle cards, because I have a little bit of a witch in me that will pull.
Speaker 4:I read that too.
Speaker 2:I read that too. I think that's the two right? Yeah, you ever heard when they tell people look up. This is me in the corny stuff with superstitions. But when they someone told me once that if you ever lit a candle and it spark blue, it meant you use a witch and like every candle. And I was like I don't want to be a witch, but you know like, can I win me some lottery numbers then? But sorry.
Speaker 3:Well, there's a whole like background. This would happen in wizards. You know that wizards didn't have kids. So the ones who like the ones who didn't have kids and this is this isn't because of even they had to, but it's again they had more. It meant that they had more life force and psychic energy to focus on other things, right? So and I'm not saying this to say having kids is bad and you can't be spiritual- you have a lot of that I really don't have a crystal.
Speaker 4:Oh my God. I think, I have a grand baby and a grand baby on the wife.
Speaker 2:I think her daughter is going to be a serial killer. I'm just going to go ahead and go ahead. No, I'm going to tell you about this. I'm going to tell you about like we go to a pool party and it's a lot of grown people. It wasn't a lot of kids. It had to be her and like two other kids.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there was two other kids.
Speaker 2:Right. So her two other kids One of them is like my little cousin, and so Oliver is like really small, he's seven years old, a genius, but he's just very, very tiny. And then it was another little boy and it was her daughter. I ain't going to mention no names, I just call it my baby. I just call it my baby. But so everybody's doing their thing and they're in the pool and I'm going to tell the boys you guys pretend like you're drowning and I'm going to save you. She's a savior and you know, and you know what they did.
Speaker 4:Okay, they pretend it's down.
Speaker 2:Are we not going to think about this? Are we not going to like have a moment to say like what if she doesn't save me?
Speaker 3:Like they're just like okay, so she's the next sociopathic leader. She's like the next.
Speaker 4:That's what she gave birth to.
Speaker 2:She taught him how to swim she did teach him how to swim. And of course I'm joking. I love her. That's my granddaughter, because where?
Speaker 3:I don't have kids. My child, I have to father her all the time.
Speaker 2:So let me make sure kids, my grandkids totally, and they know it. They know it, they know my grand I had to get you got them doing that.
Speaker 3:You can adopt them, you're totally adopted them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I'm not going to say that.
Speaker 3:You can adopt them. You're totally adopted them, yeah.
Speaker 2:I have. Look, I have so many uh, adoptive kids that I didn't adopt, like I don't got no papers for them. I can't buy all my taxes, but they still in my wallet.
Speaker 3:You know, totally, totally it's so beautiful.
Speaker 4:I like it. It's so wrong.
Speaker 3:I did one of those things where, like you do the sorry it's getting darker. I'm trying to Make sure you, you know, when I, you know, you got yourself, came to me and I was like I, I was like so what you were doing with your kids. And then you looked, so I said I'm watching this together with someone you know, you know who you actually were. So each of them she was like this to me because there was, so I got her. So she was like she was like. So she was like she was like.
Speaker 3:All right. So we knew about the men.
Speaker 2:And I'm over here laughing at myself because it was like I know, I know what you do and but when you kept saying family, I kept taking family literal. So I'm like why is? She only saying she work with family.
Speaker 3:Right Right Family ancestors, family dynamics.
Speaker 2:Like, why did you keep saying family, she worked with everybody. Don't lose your business girl Don't lose your money. I work around family dynamics. Look, I'm getting her terrified because you know there was somebody watching that was here, like me Exactly.
Speaker 3:But she works with family.
Speaker 3:Thank you, Thank you. It was so funny because I can relate with the part of feeling like, you know, don't do anything, like doing too bad or too good, and what is the family system? Was there somebody back there that did things that were too bad or too good? You know, like, what was happened back there and you know I described that I come from a family of famous and infamous and I constantly meet people on my path Like I'm literally two or three degrees of separation from just through my husband and his work and all this stuff is that you know, to Rolling Stones, to Prince, to like I'm literally I'm always close to fame or famous people. I'm never quite there or I'm close to people who've done really bad shit. These are my ancestors and like famous and infamous and I'm just like, okay, I'm just going to sit and eat my Cheerios.
Speaker 2:That's. I did that uh, where I looked up like my birthday for everything that happened on my date of birth and like I was like hey, maybe I am the Antichrist.
Speaker 3:What you do is what can ask? What an astrological sign you are.
Speaker 2:I am a Capricorn.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're meant to have money in your life, you're meant to have actually worldly success then.
Speaker 2:See, this is the trick, though I don't know if it's a trick, though, because before I believe you, because I was born the 19th January, 19th at like 1133 pm, so I was really, really close to being an Aquarius, right, but I'm still going to get the money because I'm a Capricorn.
Speaker 3:Yes. So I love cusps. I wonder if we can get along here because I'm a cusp baby too. So from my understanding, I'm not like trained astrology. What's cusp and what are you? Crystal? What's your A? Taurus? Okay, all right, a perfect combination, the two of you to do this makes perfect sense why you guys are doing this together.
Speaker 3:So Taurus is about earthly comforts and material comforts and they like, but they like doing things in a very like. You're not just ahead in the clouds, you're like let's do it. If we're going to have a dream, we're going to do make it happen and do it. And it needs to manifest. So Taurus are really good at manifesting. And then Capricorn, and then if you have Aquarius there, what a beautiful. So no wonder you're worried about like.
Speaker 3:You don't want to be an asshole. You don't want to be like this guy with success who's telling everyone, because you know you're destined to make more money and you know you're destined to have success on some level, to actually do well and you're good at it. It's almost like it's just you actually shine in it. You actually do well with succeeding in on a very, um, worldly level. But the shadow side of that can be being a jerk right, and actually making people feel less than. But what's it's? It's so beautiful because Aquarius is all about the humanity being humane and the dream, the collective dream. So the more that you're tied in with, which is what you're doing now, it's like I want to succeed in a way that serves humanity, then you will absolutely succeed.
Speaker 3:Right, and if you're doing it from that place of service um, you can't help but earn a good living and you almost need to follow Like you're not. It's not necessarily about um like for some of us, like I volunteer and all of this stuff, I'm Aries Pisces, but the um you can. You can you're more about giving charity or philanthropy. Like use give your money away to help others. So here you can send us lots of money, but but it's like you're still, like you would do well for setting up a foundation or you'd be doing what doing well for, but you would be very much like and then working with Taurus in your life, like like Crystal can help you like, okay, let's make it happen. What's going on here? Let's get the pillows together, let's get the flowers set, let's get like everything's literally just um, making it happen in a very sensual way.
Speaker 2:That is why she's a producer.
Speaker 3:Great See, it's all perfect. Oh, you're totally aligned. The two of you are in your path.
Speaker 2:You don't got to a new client. I'm going to set up a reading.
Speaker 3:But, just remember.
Speaker 2:I come to the lot. Don't be trying to increase my rate later when you realize that I'm Sorry, sorry.
Speaker 4:You'll buy. This is not what I was signed up for.
Speaker 3:Way too much.
Speaker 2:And I'm speaking as a person who's therapist quit on them. Oh, I know I can make it happen. We're happy between us, and I say that all the time, but what happened between us is we kind of became like friends.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yes, thank you Thank you.
Speaker 2:But then, and she just thought, she just wanted to be a professional and she felt like that makes sense. Like hey, we can talk, but I can't, you know, be a service to you anymore because I'm here telling you about my problems, Completely so. She's Asian and it was around that time where the Asian hate was getting really really bad Asians.
Speaker 2:So it became like I legit was a therapist because she was like scared, Because she still had like have a accent, you know, like you knew she was Asian. So because of that, you know, she had so much fears and it was a lot of me consoling her. Oh my gosh, that's so hard Girl get her back and go.
Speaker 3:Good job Lily.
Speaker 2:You know, just walk around with this back and go walking dead on the edge I get it.
Speaker 3:No, I get it, I get it. Yes, thank goodness you were in her life too, you know, like at that time, because it's just like seriously.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the allies. It was after that, and when things starting to get back to normal, that she realized, like I think I owe you a refund. She didn't necessarily quit on you.
Speaker 3:It was just a healthy boundary which was actually probably healing. She's amazing.
Speaker 2:I always recommend her to so many people. I'm like she was. You know, she got me to start talking. It's just now, I won't shut up.
Speaker 3:That's the key. That's the key.
Speaker 3:But if I would even go back to, to the part where you're talking about the fear of writing right and the fear of opening up your intelligence in this and that's why so the fact you are comfortable with journaling at times and all of that, that's an amazing. So I would say, take that. If I were to give any advice around that it would be take that and then just take a little bit of a risk right, always consulting your inner child. Can I talk a little bit more? Can I share? But particularly around your intelligence, particularly around so it might even be less about the feelings as it is what is your idea, what ideas do you have?
Speaker 3:And then just letting that, letting yourself make a list of ideas and, if you're afraid of them being stolen, exploited, taken away, like finding a safe, safe spot you know it could be, like it could be with a locked, like a locker or a. You know it has a good lock on it, and then you can go into it once a day or once a week and go through okay, what ideas do I want to keep, which ones do I want to destroy? But it's the fact that you're listening to your inner genius and your inner self and that one book you've probably read it or heard of it. It's oh God. It's about the oh, the drama of the gifted child.
Speaker 2:Drama of the gifted child. I have not, but I am now.
Speaker 3:That might be a good one. It's for the kid who's gone through, a sensitive kid who's gone through a lot of trauma.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I want to know who stole my story.
Speaker 3:See you just shared your ideas in the universe, there it is.
Speaker 2:And they took my whole story. You know what? Speaking of that, though, I'm going to talk about this, especially since it's not on the air, no more right. Originally, my first original thought for a podcast was I wanted to do what Jada Pickett did the red table talk.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I wanted to have a red table and it was just because red was my favorite color. But like such a bad feeling with the red. You know, like you think about red, you think of a stop sign going too far, you think of anger, and I'm like red could be beautiful and so let's sit around this red table and just have like beautiful conversations, yeah, and then this half a can of red table talks Right, right, oh yeah, this is a good thing.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, yes, yes, well, but you know what then it might be? It's a combination of your psychic abilities, like you're tuning into something that's happening or coming in and or collect this, the fear.
Speaker 2:I just want to add this on, just in case you want to comment on it too. I also like. I also often feel like people wouldn't be, aren't ready for what I have to say, like it wouldn't be received.
Speaker 3:well, yes, like.
Speaker 2:I'm going to call it corny. They're going to call me crazy Because, you know, every smart person is crazy. I mean, look at Kanye.
Speaker 3:Well, and you know, and I it sounds like, even because I'm, as a journey, of a writer and when I worked with writers, like writers organizations and so forth it is such a common, especially when you're beginning to really start expressing your truths and opinions and all of this it's such a common fear and anxiety. So it may help to either find like a writing course or a book about writing, but it's like this whole piece that is like one of the biggest barriers that people have to writing is like is somebody going to steal it? Is it going to be ostracized? Am I going to be criticized? Am I going to be judged? Am I going to be shamed, attacked, all of these things. Is the world ready for it?
Speaker 3:But they always say, in writing, philosophy is like just sit down and write it, and if you throw it away after you write it, your choice. And you decide to do nothing with it, it's totally your choice. But the fact that. But then, all of a sudden, when you start writing it and you realize that, oh, I'm getting comfortable with this, it's building my voice, it's building my truth, you don't want to get rid of it, and then it just gives you the fuel and just if you can write without feeling like you have to share it with the world and I'll cycle that back to being childhood.
Speaker 3:Sexual abuse survivors will tend to feel like they have to share everything that's private to everyone that if you can actually go, I'm just going to write for myself and I'm going to write for my, my own voice, to come forward and I don't have to share it with the soul, right and keep it in your own private place and then, if you decide and you're comfortable to share it with a friend, right, and then share it with a couple of friends and then see what, see how you feel, and then share it with an editor, you know, and so then it becomes but it's people you trust. It's so important that you're sharing your, your soul work or your sacred work with those you trust, first to develop the confidence and the courage and the ability to actually get it out to the world.
Speaker 2:So now you know, I'm your problem child, right? You just adopted me.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:I'm sitting here like wow, that's why I'm so brilliant. You know what?
Speaker 2:Crystal is brilliant. Before a second you know what I'm saying. Like she'll come up with, like in the beginning of this episode, her question. I didn't even put together the fact about the kids and the children's book and she was like hold up, why how do you ain't got no kids and you're writing you know, and I'm like that was okay. I was a brilliant moment, all right, and then she goes and she follows it up with I'm smart.
Speaker 3:I just want to totally clean it, right.
Speaker 2:Right, she tells everybody at work.
Speaker 3:Yes, okay, okay, that's so cool yeah.
Speaker 2:My issue with is I have issue with learning. So like I'm like very, very dyslexic so I can't learn from or from like teaching me, I have to learn from doing it.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And it's like I legit have to do it and figure it out on my own, or I won't obtain how to do it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that makes sense. Your hands on practical learner Right Like, almost like kinesthetic, and yeah, I'm very similar, like I can learn from other sources, but I have a similar. I have a similar until I can actually put it down and I have to work it out myself in order to actually get it Right and to actually work it.
Speaker 2:I have to be more like. All my decisions, no matter what it is, is always the emotion based. I don't know why I do that. I kind of been there when a long time, but it's always. You know, I do things even like through all of. It's always like how I'm going to feel when I eat this for a while.
Speaker 2:Now the answer is usually good, so I eat the prologue, but it's always about the emotion behind it. You're like I should call crystal. I think I feel alright, so I'm going to call her. I don't know why I do that, but that's kind of like.
Speaker 3:Oh there's. So I mean this is that whole journey of self discovery, right, and that everybody has. So, whether you call Myers, Briggs tests, or whether you do go into the spiritual realm of self discovery, but you're most likely like, this is the highly sensitive person or empath, right? So the empath usually makes emotional decisions, they're trusting their intuition. They call it the clear sentient, right? So there's different. There's clairvoyance, there's clear sentience, there's clear cognizance.
Speaker 3:So some people just know what they know, like they're like I just know it, I know that there was a tragedy down the road Like they just know it. Whereas some people, they're like I feel like something's really off and their emotions are telling them you know, check this out, check this out. So you're more likely clear, clear, sentient, because you're feeling based and it comes from being a highly sensitive person and more of an empath. And especially if you're, you can also be what is the one where it's, it's like almost like, connected to your body. It's like your body tells you, it's body intuition. So the fact that you're needing to, like, write things out or work, work it out physically, kinesthetically, so you probably have those two styles of intuition coming in and it's like this is that piece of really truly like.
Speaker 3:If we all just accept like everybody has different nervous systems, everybody has different brain wiring, everybody has different genetics, everybody has different Journeys that if we look at it as a strength rather than a weakness and actually go wait a minute, how do I work with this? Because it's actually part of my divine gift, right, this actually is my, this is what you can trust it, right. And what I love about that piece with your healing piece is that the journey of anyone who's had child trauma is about learning how to trust themselves. Like that's. The ultimate journey is coming back to trusting yourselves on all levels, with how your body feels, how your heart feels, how you're thinking, your own intelligence because it was so much was taken Right. That is that's truly coming back to yourself as truly like listening to your inner truth and especially as a child survivor.
Speaker 4:Do you think that you can trust other people if you don't trust yourself?
Speaker 3:No no, and I think you probably even know the answers that even by that question Right. So I think that piece it's like, um, especially if you've had major breaks of trust, like if major breaks of trust, you had major deception or you had major betrayals and even to the point where your family still gaslighting you, for example it's a journey of learning how to go. I'm not going to trust this person. I have to trust myself enough to not trust this person, even if this person isn't bad. They just might be gaslight. They just don't want the truth to come out Right or they don't want.
Speaker 3:So it's almost like the piece around some of a big part of our world is learning how to. Can I trust this source? You know? Can I? I can listen to it, but I have to digest it or I have to take into account what might be their agenda. What is my agenda? Um, but the journey of especially if you're a trauma survivor trust has been broken. So if you don't have that fundamental capacity to trust your own knowing and there's a place of doubting your own, whether it's intuition or your own experiences, then you you're at risk of trusting People that remind you of your perpetrators from the past, or people who like putting people on pedestals or you know you're at risk of that because you have yet to go. Wait a second. Can I listen to myself?
Speaker 2:You need to listen to that, because she got this man that she would not get rid of.
Speaker 3:That's up to you, Crystal. How would you want to share about that?
Speaker 4:I always say he's well. So my dad, he passed away and I always say he reminds me of my father, like in every source. But it's so complicated. My father was an evil man. Sorry, mom, if you're watching this brother, sisters. But at the same time, he's the one that held our family together, and when he passed, we all separated.
Speaker 3:Right right.
Speaker 4:But every time, like he does something, I'm always like you are my father. Well, it's so weird because If I could change fathers, I would Right, so it's me to change men.
Speaker 2:Go ahead and tell her.
Speaker 3:So I'm going to say it's like the force, the family of origin force is so big, like the ancestral force, like it's bigger than our, even our personal will sometimes. So we're attracted like a magnet to even the very people that we know are good for us. And so there's a piece here that might have to do with a little bit of your own grief. Work Like so it's okay to grieve your father who died, even if you didn't like him. I had a difficult relationship with my father, so I get it, but it's a grief of the father you didn't get the grief of the father who did go away, the grief of the family that got separated because he seemed to be the glue. And almost like attracting another person who's like your father is a way of creating a sense of stability or a sense of a placeholder that gives a false sense of family. So it's almost like going back into what would be the instead of a partner. So it's almost creates.
Speaker 3:I don't know the dynamics and if there's a power dynamic here, but it's like you're really looking for it when you're dating somebody. Ideally it's about the equal partner, right? It's equal and it's supportive, equally supportive, and there's communication and all of this and there's a feeling of safety. But what if there's ever a power dynamic? If you feel like that would be saying you're so much like my father, having to really look at him what ways? And is this good for me and does it give me a false sense of my father still around?
Speaker 3:Or is the stability here or the placeholder here and perhaps even looking at there's a you know and looking at some of the grief of losing your other family members as a family unit? But what's interesting about death, especially with somebody who has been a difficult death, and if people separate, there's actually a beautiful healing capacity for people. To some, like finding one family member that you might be able to have an inroad with, to really get honest and start talking about what did you think about dad? Like, start actually keeping him in the family through those conversations and even if those some people are like he was great and you'd be like, wow, that's interesting that you thought that you know, I didn't, but you're opening doors to still keep your father's energy around but there's more honesty and healing possible and then you don't need to have placeholders like what you're mentioning, with this person that you're seeing having to come in to represent your father, so it's like you're, it's not as necessary so again.
Speaker 3:I say this with not knowing the entire story.
Speaker 2:You could have left that part out, but she said it's best for you. You know it is about you, is about personal, but of course we kind of ran over our hour right and I feel, like all you, and we've got to do some coaching with you, but I know this conversation probably went a little bit of everywhere. Is anything that you want to say to our audience that we did not give you a chance to say?
Speaker 3:Just ultimately remember to take care of yourself, like, ultimately, love and accept yourself 100%. You know, and if you need to help with navigating relationship dynamics with your family of origin, yourself, who you want to be like, it comes back to love, it comes back to self love, it comes back to your heart and you know I would love to provide that kind of safe space. I literally like aim for confidentiality all the time. It's like you can tell me anything and I'm not shocked, literally because you know I'm very aware of the tragedies in the world and I'm very aware of the challenges and so long as they're what you're wanting to do, the inner work and you're wanting to grow in and becoming a healthier, boundary to self loving person and delve in and and access that inner voice I'm, I would love to help. That's the biggest part.
Speaker 2:Now I'm gonna call you and we can have a couple of conversations and then I'm gonna bring you back on to see if you still feel that same way.
Speaker 3:I'm sure I will.
Speaker 2:Okay, hold on. Somebody stole your story.
Speaker 3:Deal. I'll probably be like this is amazing.
Speaker 2:Hopefully that's how you do and honestly, you kind of like changed just us in this conversation. So if you can do that in this hour that we went over, I can imagine what you do for other people. So we thank you for what you're doing and sharing your love. And it was kind of cool because I didn't even need to ask you about love because you talked about it Right along with our season three model. We just talked about the love space. You know season 2.5, you talked about it.
Speaker 2:We were very big on a safe space site, finding a safe space, healing Right. I know you did both. Yes, and it is like I finally know what pieces and that has been the most incredible feeling for me. I don't say I go through it all the time, but I do know like I'm at peace and it's dope and I feel like everybody should have that. I'm not sure. You give her a call. I'm gonna give her a call seriously, and I think we're so here too. I think we need to have some conversations with him. My dad was a bit of a psychopath.
Speaker 3:So I'm very familiar with psychopath energy.
Speaker 2:My dad. He actually passed away a couple years ago from COVID, but I'm getting him a shout out. He probably was a psychopath, but we didn't know it, but he had psychopath potential. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Totally.
Speaker 2:I think we all do.
Speaker 3:We all do, and that's probably. Yeah, we all do. It's just if you cross the line.
Speaker 2:I'm always walking the line and I want to get to the point where I'm just more over there.
Speaker 3:Exactly, it's all the choices Right.
Speaker 2:Right, definitely. We thank you so much for being on. Thank you so much for having this conversation with us, thank you. Thank you so much for telling Corsu that she needed to leave her man.
Speaker 4:I just know her words. She just said a little time.
Speaker 2:That's basically what you call a time for somebody else. I heard it. I think the audience heard it too. As a matter of fact, she told everybody who was out there in a bad relationship remember, it is about you, yes, and that was kind of a dope thing that you said to Corsu that I stand out and even though we're joking and I'm not joking, but I am it still starts with you.
Speaker 3:It does it, totally does yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, thanks so much, heather.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 2:I'm definitely going to get you back on and you will hear from us. I'll be all your confirmation throughout these episodes and in our website and all those kind of things for shells links with you. Thank you, guys, for watching, and we will see you next week.
Speaker 4:Big hearts Bye.