The one with serial ampersand Justin Bohon

This week, Gavin is stranded in the middle of nowhere, we talk about disciplining OPK's in the wild, we start our Gaytriarchs book club with "DILF Island," we rank the top 3 board games for kids, and this week we are joined by serial ampersand Justin Bohon, husband of previous guest Stephen Oremus, who talks to us about his previous life as a casting director, his current life as a gym owner, and and how being an actor prepared him for his life's ups and downs.

Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast

And THIS SATURDAY, June 28th, we are meeting at the Hecksher Playground in Central Park from 9am-12pm. Please come by and join us!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1388498017949?aff=oddtdtcreator

Transcript

Gavin: 0:00

And his name is at its Luke underscore seven. And this guy basically you know what? Hold on. Shall I just demonstrate it's at Luke because it'll be it'll be better that way? I don't know what you're talking about, Kavan. You're right. This is none of the things.

David: 0:21

Are you gonna say a sentence with your finished? Are you gonna finish the sentence? The sentence. And this is Gatriarchs.

Gavin: 0:43

So, David, I know that this is an audio and not a visual platform, but do you see where I am?

David: 0:51

You are in the backseat of a car, which is where I became gay.

Gavin: 0:58

If only I were here for that purpose. I'm recording from the backseat of my car because this is the only place I could actually get cell phone reception and a quiet place, basically. Because I'm in Eagle Butte, South Dakota. Please uh Google that. I am truly, truly in the middle of nowhere. I uh but the reason I'm here is I've been wanting to regale you for days. There have been many, many times that I'm like, oh my god, I've got to talk about this on Gatriarchs. Because um, so as I've sort of mentioned before, I uh take my kids to a church. We are part of a church community that let me make all the disclaimers, not that I should ever feel defensive about having like some spiritual connection, but uh it's not about religion, it's about community, frankly, and like showing my kids that there's a broader world out there. And guess what? We are showing them there's a broader world out there because we are in Eagle Butte, South Dakota, where we had basically a cultural exchange with um uh uh a Lakota tribe, a Lakota Indian Reservation, a very, very, very small town nestled within the Cheyenne River Reservation is actually the name of the reservation. And um, so we've spent the weekend with um a bunch of families who are Lakota uh tribe, and it has been a lot of eye-opening stuff, particularly for my kids, that's for sure.

David: 2:17

Are we supposed to say Indian still? Aren't we supposed to say Native American? They listen. Or do they no, no, but I legitimately am asking because like sometimes they do they say Indian?

Gavin: 2:28

I'm laughing because of the how many layers of do we say, do they, and theying and othering and everything.

David: 2:35

The white guilt is taking over me, yeah.

Gavin: 2:37

Absolutely. I totally understand that. 100%. Now, listen, I will say it's safe space, right? And we're not in danger of being canceled because nobody listens to this podcast anyway. But they say, the Lakota people, they say Indian constantly. So yes, I think that it is okay to say Indian, but I you will hear me defaulting to Lakota a lot, and I appreciate that they innocent.

David: 3:01

It's the accent for me that you're doing the light, like the 20%, the 20% accent that you're giving me, which is like which is arguably not racist enough, but really tiptoeing up to the line. I just want to tell you.

Gavin: 3:15

I am trying. They they the the Lakota people, what they just always they they have such a you know, when you hear Native Americans speak Gavin. When you hear them speak, they have that a cadence that you really like. And I don't know, I'm trying to respect how they say their name instead of just lazily saying Lakota.

David: 3:40

It's fun to watch you it's just fun to watch you squirm in the backseat of a rental. It's just real fun to watch.

Gavin: 3:46

Anyway. Anyway. Well, so I have a funny story about it. So over the last two days, we have spent time with this uh this very, very small hamlet. I mean eight houses, literally, and they have a little community center. And I'm celebrating this apparently 40 years that uh that obviously precedes my time in this community. And we made uh they the the the community made food for us. They made all the food for us. They eat Indian tacos. Uh, would you like to know what an Indian taco consists of? I would love to know. It's a disc of fried bread. Sort of like a donut but no sugar, I guess. Disc of fried bread with taco toppings on top of it. Sometimes with nachos. So basically, listen to this heaven. You're eating nachos on top of fried bread, on top of a donut.

David: 4:33

It's kind of like an open-faced like Gordita. Like, it's fried bread. Oh, wait a minute. A Gordita is, it's not just like Oh no, fried is chalupa. So it's like an open-faced cholupa.

Gavin: 4:45

Very, yeah, very thick, thick chalupa. Yeah, that's a way of saying it. And then we um so they made it for us, celebrating us being there. We're like, yo, we can cook for you. That's totally fine. Which we were planning on doing. We went to the grocery store, we got a bunch of food, we cooked for them one night and they cooked for us the next. And then that was followed by um karaoke, which was very exciting because it was this woman who has probably been doing karaoke, uh hosting it for the last 62 years, and um, she had speakers and she had like six microphones, and she loves to sing her like Patsy Klein hits of the 1960s. Um it was it was a lot, it was a it was a big culture exchange. So anyway, my daughter, I am very, very, very, very proud of. She stepped up to the plate to um entertain the kids. There were about five or six kids, all around like 10 and 13 years old, that she was like the Pied Piper with them. And um I it was I was I have to say, I was really, really proud of her stepping up and um being her best self. And she really took the leadership position on. So anyway, one uh day we're sitting around and one of the girls is trying to sell me a bracelet, and she's saying, Hey, Mr. Man, buy this bracelet from me. And I'm like, I held back from saying, uh, is there a please with that? Or some kind of charm of any kind. And I was just like, Well, wait a minute, could you do you think we can make beads together? Could we make bracelets together? And she's like, Well, I need beads, and I'm like, Well, shit, let's I'll go buy you some beads. Let's go buy beads and turn this into a you know, bracelet making situation. So I um took all of these girls in the car. There were five um Lakota girls, you're welcome, and two uh my daughter and her friend, and we drove to the bead shop, which was closed in Eagle Butte, unfortunately. So then I'm like, well shit, we should just go to Dairy Queen, because there is a Dairy Queen here, and it is I mean, there's two restaurants in this town, a subway and a Dairy Queen. We've eaten it both.

David: 6:46

Honestly, that covers all your major food.

Gavin: 6:48

Like, I'm I'm okay with those two options. Yeah. So we're driving to Dairy Queen. Excuse me. We're at Dairy Queen. Um, where I'm like, just uh order what you want. I mean, I don't feel like dropping 50 bucks at Dairy Queen is ever something that I uh intend to do, but you know, this is a special case. So we're driving back, and these girls we are screaming um a Nicki Minaj. I I don't know what kind of influence my kids are being on those kids, but um screaming Nicki Minaj, and they knew other lyrics too. Talk about a universal unifier is um, you know, pop music. So they were screaming all the same songs together. And then one girl says, Where's your wife? And my daughter goes, my daughter goes, he doesn't have a wife, he has a husband.

David: 7:34

And I mean And the car just slams to a stop.

Gavin: 7:38

Yes, silence, yes, dust just kicked up in the air. Yes, the proverbial um needle scratches off the record, and and they're like, and the girl's response was, oh hell no. Oh no.

David: 7:54

And I'm like, and I'm like to yank that fucking McFlurry out of their hands.

Gavin: 8:00

I I had a moment there being like, what am I supposed to do in this situation? I mean, yeah, I just couldn't believe that my daughter was the one who shouted this. And I'm glad. Obviously, I'm glad that she didn't have any compulsion about doing so, but I was like, I wasn't really ready. Yet, when are you ready to suddenly out yourself to a bunch of people who are like, what?

David: 8:22

So you know, in a probably unsafe area that you feel unsafe in. I mean, so what did you do?

Gavin: 8:28

Might be. I mean, I don't think it's exactly MAGA out here. I think they I think the look I think the Lakota people tend to be Democrats if they're voting. I mean, I know that the Democrats court the native vote more than the Republicans do. Anyway, I mean, okay, so I'm driving and suddenly it's a little silent and awkward, and I'm like, well, right, well, uh, right, well, have you heard the term to spirit? And they're like, no. I'm like, well, you know, it's uh, you know, it's another You're like, that's your people's thing. Yeah. And they're like, your people. You're like this just digging a hole, digging a hole, digging a hole. I'm like, you know, it's the it's the it's an Indian term. Two spirit? No. Well, yeah. I mean, I know, I know I know Native people. No. Well, you know what gay means. And they're like, yeah. I'm like, well, guilty. And they're like, oh, and immediately whispering amongst themselves, whispering, whispering, whispering. And then one of the girls shouts to her friends, you know what I want to know? How'd he get her? Pointing to my daughter. I'm like, oh shit, this is this is just all opening up. So I'm like, uh, well, and I'm just thinking, like, how much do I need to explain here? Do I need to jerk do I need to explain jerking off into a Dixie cup in a bathroom?

David: 9:51

No, probably not. Losing it and then having to go back and do it again, like the whole story?

Gavin: 9:58

Yeah. I said, so I said, I have a friend who can't who who had my daughter in her belly, and they were like, oh. And from the back, a little girl goes, You mean like a surrogate? Like, and that was it. And then then, then, then that was the end of the discussion.

David: 10:18

You're you're you're better than I am. I would have slammed the brakes. I'd say, get the fuck out of the car. You're gonna say ew or whatever they said. No, not interested. But I get like that, like this is probably their first exposure to any real gay parent in their entire lives.

Gavin: 10:31

I felt like I this is a moment to be an ambassador, and if they suddenly don't like me or whatever, which which of course they didn't care. They didn't say anything to me. They just kept trying to sell me bracelets, and that is not an exaggeration. They did.

SPEAKER_01: 10:42

Yeah.

Gavin: 10:43

Um, but it was funny that when we dropped them off from our nighttime Dairy Queen um run last night, my daughter was debriefing with her two friends, and they all came to my defense and they said, We couldn't believe they said that to you. I'm like, what are you talking about? And I it's kind of like a little bit of offended anger came out after the fact. My daughter, I know she was having a great time, but she said that um she was pissed that they said hell no. And I was like, when she said, Ah, hell no. I was like, Girls, it's it's it it that is the least of our concerns. And I was not offended by that. It's fine.

David: 11:18

But it's but it well, you should have been, but we're not offended because we hear way worse more often. But also, it's nice that like they came to your like and also honestly, just exposure for them to see like, no, no, no, we are in a safe liberal bubble wherever we live, and everyone knows us and everything is fine. But this is actually what we kind of have to deal with. And so, yeah, that's that's interesting. I would have taken, I would have taken those blizzards out of their hands, I would have thrown them out the window. I was like, now what do you think about gay parents? I would have said this is why I should never be an ambassador for anything. Ever.

Gavin: 11:51

Well, unfortunately, also though, I I I do think we left the the impression that listen, rich, I am not. That is for sure. Let me count the ways that I am struggling in all the ways. But obviously, and my daughter is like, I wish we were rich. I wish we were rich. But um, but obviously in comparison, I mean, I was the I was the fag who showed up, drove them in a really nice car to Dairy Queen two night two days in a row and bought-just laid your credit card down. Laid that credit card down, thinking to myself, oh fuck, I hope I'm able to cover the$65 next month. But whatever. Uh it it's I have no problems in comparison to these kids. So I was glad to get them their blizzards and not be an asshole like David Vaughn would have been in the moment.

David: 12:35

I would have totally been an asshole. And that is a really good transition to this topic, which is disciplining other people's kids in public.

Gavin: 12:44

Your favorite thing.

David: 12:45

Well, I mean, my question is like, do you do it? Because I have found a lot recently, either at kids' birthday parties or playgrounds or these like kind of semi-public spaces where like your kids are interacting with other kids and like something happens and their parent is not around. Right. I'm not talking about like if their parents are there or whatever, but like if if my daughter's holding a ball and the kid walks up and just like grabs the ball out of her hand, she starts crying. Do you say something? I for sure I have no problem disciplining other people. I'll be like, or like somebody will come up to me like I want that ice cream. I'll be like, first of all, the word please. This is like when you were talking, I was like, this is a perfect segue. Second of all, the answer is no, Clayton, or whatever your name is. So, like, I would that's my my question is like, do you discipline strangers, kids in public if they do something in front of you?

Gavin: 13:35

Absolutely. I think that, um, I think that it takes a village. Hillary Clinton knew it. It takes a village. We've got to be able to pipe up once in a while. And also, don't you have so much trauma as a child of having some kid dis some parent discipline you on a playground when you made a bad choice and you do not forget that shit, right? So even though you're looking back in your the recesses of your pea brain and thinking that person was such a jerk to me, but you do not forget what you did or or the fact that they disciplined you. And listen, over the last couple of days, there were a couple of times that I was like, can I hear please with that? Or I mean, there was a I mubbed, muttered under my breath as we walked out of Dairy Queen last night. Sure would be nice to hear thank you. But I kept that to myself. I kept that to myself.

David: 14:22

I will never forget my neighbor who was uh my best friend at the time. We were at his house and his mom yelled at me and put me in a timeout in their like reclining chair in their living room. I was fuming. I was like, you bitch, you're not my mom. How dare you think that I also was like taking the time out. But like I still think about that. Like, I yeah, it is, it means a lot more. But I I think I see some parents kind of like, oh, well, I wish he hadn't done that to my daughter. I'm like, oh no, no, no, no. Go back and apologize to her. Like, and I I don't feel like I'm being like a dad where like, because I do it to my kids. If my kids do something shitty to another kid, no, no, no, you're gonna go back. Absolutely. But when their parents are not around, I will discipline your child. So for those of you who are coming to our gay dads meetup, yes, I will discipline your kid. If your kid is shitty, I will yell at them in person. And that is what I want to say is guys, this is it. This Saturday, this Saturday, here it is, guys. Dad's it's finally we our listener and us are all gonna join the three of us, and we're all gonna go to the Hecksher Playground in New York City in Central Park. Um, and we're all gonna hang out from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Um there is a, I believe, Gabe and you did this on the top of our profile. We pinned our evite link. Yes. It's on the Facebook and everywhere. If you are gonna go, by the way, and you have seen the evite link, if you wouldn't mind just like clicking, I don't know, it's like buy a ticket or whatever. Something like that? We're not charging anybody anything. No, because like I see a lot of you have done it already, but um, we're partnering with men having babies, and they were asking me about numbers, and I was like, well, this is the only number I have. So please go on there. If not, no big deal. Just show up, show up anytime between 9 a.m. and 12 p.m. We are so excited about this.

Gavin: 16:07

Gavin will be in town, maybe. I uh we'll see. We'll see. But I even if I'm not, you'll have David there to give sweaty hugs to in a yellow shirt that will not show our pit stains too much. So no, I will. I definitely will. I will definitely be there and I can't wait. And um I'm stoked that we're gonna be there. And Hector Playground is the kind of place that even um uh even the parents can have a really great time scrambling over rocks. So please come between 9 and 12 uh on Saturday. Woohoo! Yes. So moving on, I want you to know that uh there is basically no good news in the world. Let's just leave it at that, okay? No good news in the world. But what but what is good news is I do have a dad hack. For those who are this comes compliments of at dude dad on YouTube, who should absolutely be one of our guests someday. Um just uh um uh hi at dude dad. There you go. And I was able was going through some of his videos, and he thought of a hack for how to help kids put on like somebody walked by.

David: 17:13

So you you literally look like you're about to be attacked. Oh my god.

Gavin: 17:19

Well, so okay, so at Dude Dad uh thought of a hack to be able to help kids who don't know the difference between their right and their left when they're putting shoes on. You know, we're talking I don't know. Now I'm I'm I'm out of my element now. What is it, 10-year-olds old, nine-year-olds who don't know how to put their shoes on?

David: 17:36

Three bit.

Gavin: 17:37

Okay. So for three year olds who don't distinguish between right and left, if you draw a half a heart in take a sharpie and draw a half a heart where your heel would go, and then what they need to do is put the hearts together to see which side's the left and which side is the right. I can see your derision there.

David: 17:54

I thought it was really cute. You looked a little baby. It is cute. I I'm just laughing because like I d do dad, I'm sure you're wonderful. Uh-huh. The they sell stickers. We've been using them for years, and they are half stickers, and it's like half a frog or half a heart or half a whatever, and we literally have them in our kids' shoes upstairs. It does actually make a big difference. But I do like the idea of drawing it with a sharpie'cause the stickers always come out.

Gavin: 18:18

Exactly. I was gonna say that. And thanks for you not bringing a dad hack, which you could apparently could have brought us a year ago. So how about a dilf of the week? Yes, I love dilfs. So actually, this dilf of the week is a funny, it's a slight departure. Because as I was like, hmm, who are the dilfs? You know, my my search and my search browser is just uh you can imagine the amount of the uh all of the images right now coming up, but I thought this was the funniest one, since that's what I often go for. The Dilf of the Week honorary this week is a a novel called Dilf Island by A. E. Le Mercier. And I'm pretty sure that that's just a bot. And however maga Amazon might be right now, you know they are cranking out the books, the books that are going to pique people's interest, weighing it at 169 pages. So you know this is a beach burner of a read, is just called Dilf Island. And it is about uh Colin who is masquerading as a reality news, or excuse me, a reality TV star pretending to be there with his buddy or something like that, but then of course he falls for the hot little twink, and he doesn't know if the twink will still like him because he's pretending to be on the reality show. Anyway, I don't know. I my my my interest was piqued, and I would not read this on the beach for fear of fear of uh, you know, judgment and derision, but nevertheless, Dilf Island by A.E. Le Mercier, who I'm sure is a made-up bot. But that's our sure.

David: 19:53

And I also like that the like the the the book cover of this book is like the most AI twink. Yes. Like making out situation.

Gavin: 20:02

Yep.

David: 20:02

Um, but yeah, no, you had me at Delph Island. I I would like to visit there. I don't know if there's a Marriott there, um, but I would like to go to Delph Island. Um, you know where I definitely do not want to go? Tell me. To our top three list.

Gavin: 20:15

Woohoo! All right, so this week was my week, and uh it's a little probably more homespun, but I wanted to know what are your top three board games for kids? And uh I we we're are you a game family? Uh yeah, I think so.

David: 20:35

Yeah.

Gavin: 20:35

Um I I always want to You mean emotional games, of course. No, mind games. Mind games. I definitely play those. We're but we're well, I'm a game dork. I mean, that is the most Chevy Chase element of parenting for me, is that I always want to play games because I want to create memories with my kids, right? But they always come kicking and screaming, don't you get me started about how my partner runs and hides in the closet whenever I say let's play a game together. It's fine. I still love him. But I um I I'm a big uh fan of the um games.

David: 21:09

And so first and foremost, from you listening, you can hear Gavin typing because Gavin is currently typing his top three list as he's introing the top three list. I want to let you know what it's like to produce a show with Gavin, who is literally actively writing the stuff he's about to talk about.

Gavin: 21:24

And you can hear, you can hear the hesitation in my voice as I'm like, oh, wait, wait, wait. That game.

David: 21:28

I hear you monologuing this big preamble. I'm like, baby, get to it. Oh, it's because you haven't written a list. Got it. All right, so what's what's the list you thought about?

Gavin: 21:36

For me, number three for me, avocado smash. Avocado smash is a very fun little card game that you just put down the numbers. A kid, a three-year-old could play it. It's a counting game, and then when something comes up funny, you have to smash the avocado. It is a complete delight of a game that I still enjoying with my playing with my kids as well. For number two, the game that I loved that was a little more um strategy-based and intriguing, and yet also young kids can play it, is Quirkle. I don't know that I spelled it correctly. I think it's K-W-I-R-K-L-E. But it's about um lining up shapes and um in different colors. And so you either line them up by color or you line them up by shapes, and it almost looks like a domino board when you're done um building out this thing. And it's um it's a good time. So I would say Wait, no, you don't mean Quarto, do you? No.

David: 22:24

Quarto? Oh, okay.

Gavin: 22:25

Not that great one. I mean we can gur Google it if you want, but in fact, I'm pretty sure it's K-W-I-R-K-L, but I highly recommend, and uh it's very fun. And then number one, the game that I spent the most time playing between my kids' ages of like two to six, and I loved it when my son brought his uncle in to play the game too, because it was so hilarious because his uncle, my brother-in-law, is um uh not the kind who would be caught playing Sophia the First's tea party. But let me tell you, number one is Sophia the First Tea Party, where you pick up cookies off of the little plate and it prompts you whether or not you are serving tea or or drinking tea. And they had these little plastic things that you would blow over the top to make the tea colors spin. And it was like there was a certain amount of physicality that was required for it. I gotta say, Sophia's the Sophia the First's tea party, we got a lot of mileage out of that, and I highly recommend it for everybody, whether or not you are a hater or a lover of Sophia the First.

David: 23:40

All right, so my three are obviously very geared towards my family, which is five and three. Um so very, very, very young kids. It it is so annoying to play games with these children if there's any if there's any sort of like complicated strategy, or if there's like lots of pieces, because they just they're doing cart reels around and not shit over. So these are the three that I think work really well um for for this age of kids. Um so number three is there's a version of Go Fish, like you would do with like a normal deck of cards that has animals. So it's like, you know, um penguin and penguin, and there's only two of everything. And it was the first thing my three-year-old could pick up immediately. She understood the game. She understood once you put them down, you pick another one up. Um, so that was really fun. Go fish with animals. Uh, number two, Bluey has a board game, and it is really, really fun. And partially it's fun because nobody ever really wins and nobody ever really loses. It's kind of it's it's you can technically lose, but there it it is, there's no real like real winner. You kind of all play as a team, and one of the things you do is you have to get up and do something funny, or one of the cards will say, like, go find something green in the house in 10 seconds, and the kids get up and they run, and they you know, so it's like very active game, it's really fun. Very cute. Um, and number one, this is so fun. I love this game. I don't know if you ever played the real game of sequence, um, but there is a Paw Patrol sequence. And what it is, there's just this big board with all the cards that you would get on it, and then your dealt cards, and then you have to try to get four in a row. And so every time it's your turn, you put your card down on one of the little spaces. But there's a Paw Patrol version of it. It is so, so fun. And one of the things you could do is you could take somebody else's card away and everyone laughs or whatever, but it's very simple, very straightforward. There's only cards, there's no other things to do. So Paw Patrol sequence is my number one.

Gavin: 25:29

Those all suck. You should play my games. What is next? Well, your games are for older kids. No, they're not. No, no, no. All three of those your three-year-old could play, I promise. Okay. Well, I didn't shit on your list, but okay, cool.

David: 25:41

Um, all right. So next week, um, I don't know if we've ever done this, but um, other than Gatriarchs, what are your top three favorite podcasts?

Gavin: 25:49

Easy peasy. I will definitely write them down as I um say them next week. Our next guest, like so many of our Gatriarchs, has been around, and I don't just mean the block or the circuit parties. He has tumbled across Broadway stages as a breakout, I mean barely pubescent star in Oklahoma, with turns in nine to five and Le Miz, and I'll show Cup in Book of Mormon, becoming a casting director, just judging and judging other actors for a few years. He sold real estate, but moreover, helped like uh design living spaces for folks, and then getting back to his tumbling roots, is now an entrepreneur who owns and manages a gymnastic studio helping other kids achieve their Olympic or Broadway dreams. And most importantly, he is a gay dad, just like the rest of us. Welcome, Justin Bohan, to Gatriarchs. Thank you. So how has your daughter driven you bananas already today?

SPEAKER_00: 26:51

Well, actually, uh, she's already out of school, so she didn't drive me bananas at all because she had a sleepover at her friend Chelsea's house and a last minute call yesterday at like 5 30 p.m. from someone who had an extra ticket to O'Mary. So my daughter was away, and I got to go in and see their performance after they won the Tony. So that was pretty awesome.

David: 27:13

Oh, that's that's right. So we should call like the parent 100% and be like, What how how did my daughter drive you bananas today? They had a sitter too, so you know, it was really Was anybody watching the children, or did everybody just have a sitter for everyone else?

SPEAKER_00: 27:30

Yeah, she has a gizmo, she's fine.

Gavin: 27:33

Totally. Now, this actually immediately reminds me of um talking to your husband, Stephen Remus, who was a guest a few episodes ago. Um, not a trick question, but did you listen to his interview by chance?

SPEAKER_00: 27:46

I haven't, so well then we can't we can't ask you telling the truth.

Gavin: 27:52

Right, we can't ask you to set the record straight. But I do remember him immediately talking about um sleepovers because it was how how your daughter was driving him crazy was that she was freaking out about sleepovers.

SPEAKER_00: 28:03

It bothers him a lot more than it bothers me. Like I grew up with people around. I, you know, I like having people around. I I think it's you know, it's easier when she has someone to play with because she's an only child anyway. So sleepovers don't bother me, but literally he's like, Do we have to have one every weekend?

David: 28:20

And I'm like, well, it's that, or you entertain her. So yeah. Wait, I'm curious because I don't my kids are, I think, are too young for sleepovers, but like how old is your daughter? Uh she's she turned nine in May. Okay, so what is like, what do you think? Because I think we're approaching that time. Like, what is an appropriate age for sleepovers? But my kids are five and three, which I think is too way too young.

SPEAKER_00: 28:42

Well, she definitely started having some sleepovers around five, but I hosted them. Um, I I'm the same way. I mean, she has tons of friends that we, you know, trust with her care to stay over. But just for me, uh, that was sort of a thing. I wanted to host the sleepovers just to get used to it. And mostly just because you don't want to send your child off to a sleepover and have the 1 a.m. call where the parents are up and the kid can't sleep. It was selfish. Yeah, and your your ringer's off and you sleep through it and they're up all night with your child. So um I would but she started pretty young, I guess. But again, I think it's I think it's positive as long as you can, you know, maintain the environment there with people they trust. I think that independence is important. And I didn't I didn't sleep have sleepovers as much when I was that age for sure. But I I think it's productive to give them some independence.

David: 29:32

You definitely have to make sure that whoever like I I I keep thinking about the people like whose house she would be at. And like, do you ask awkward questions like are there guns in the house? Like, do you have those conversations? Like, because I I I get very fucking nervous. I've got to make sure that these people, A, didn't vote for Trump. That is number one for me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 29:50

I don't have any friends that voted for Trump.

David: 29:52

No, no, absolutely not. But like, do but do you ask questions like that? Like, do you have guns in the house, or do you just kind of assume that they don't?

SPEAKER_00: 30:00

I assume that they don't just because of the like-mindedness of our community. Yeah, I think I will add that to my list now that you admit. Yeah. Um, I I really feel like I'm surrounded by a community of like-minded people, and I don't think that would be an issue. Certainly not, you know, on a like from social perspectives. Um, totally. I don't know any active hunters or people that have firearms in their home for safety reasons, but now I will be ass sitting up after this.

Gavin: 30:31

Now I will be I will be totally paranoid about that. It does seem like also at that young age, though, with five-year-olds or nine-year-olds, you still know the parents, basically. I mean, you wouldn't send your kid. I I would uh uh caution sending your kid to somebody's house that you don't know the parents.

SPEAKER_01: 30:46

Oh, never.

Gavin: 30:47

And and so then that hopefully mitigates the need to ask awkward questions. Like, are you gonna get completely shitfaced while my daughter's there? Or will you just have a glass and oh god, Gavin.

David: 30:59

There's Gavin is literally tiptoeing up to like, how much can I drink? Just depends on the night, really. But yeah.

Gavin: 31:08

Well, absolutely. I mean, that's yeah, and but now I have to say, with my kids being 12 and 13, we have yet. No, no, no. We have had um we have hosted kids that we don't know the parents, and that was awkward AF because I didn't know how to communally parent the kids because I didn't know the kids and I didn't know the parents. And it was this really awkward, this is gonna become therapy, but last summer it my daughter suddenly had two friends over and I didn't know the kids, and they were all on their phones the entire time, and I didn't feel frankly comfortable saying to them, hey, get off your phones and go do something. Instead, my partner and I felt like um hostages in our house, and we were completely dominated by three teenage girls. It was horrendous, and I will never do that again.

David: 31:52

Also, like there's something great about having having friends, like really close friends with the parents, because then you feel like I can yell at my their children.

SPEAKER_01: 31:59

Yeah, yeah.

David: 32:00

And even if we have really close friends in the neighborhood, like we hang out with each other, I feel fully comfortable screaming at their children. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 32:06

We I've hosted um sleepovers for Skylar. Like I was a moron, and on her birthday, ninth birthday, I hosted nine girls from her class. Oh my god. And I knew a lot, I knew all of the parents, but there were a couple of them that I was like, are you behaving this way in my house? And I I had that that sort of instinct to be like, I have to make everything good. And then I was like, No, I don't. You don't own my house. I own this house. Like, if you want something, you say please, and when you get it, you say thank you, and you're causing trouble, and I know it, so stop.

David: 32:39

I don't know why. I just had this vision of you coming down the stairs in this big moo moo, hair full of curlers with a wooden spoon, yelling at the kids. Like, that's that's the vision I have for you, John.

SPEAKER_00: 32:49

That would be Steven's side of the family. He they're Italian, and his mom, when they were misbehaving, that she didn't even have to do anything with it. She would just bang it on the banister. Spoon out. I kind of want to be that mom, I have to say. You are that mom, Gavin, let's be honest. There is a healthy amount of I shouldn't say fear, but respect that I think children who are allowed to have so many feelings these days uh need to regain for adult authority figures that are providing them really nice lives and fun experiences. Like you should be a little nervous about what I'm gonna do if I round the corner.

Gavin: 33:28

Well, uh instilling fear then uh is a good reason to say have you figured out any hacks along your parenting path that you could share with our audience?

SPEAKER_00: 33:39

Hmm. I mean, I think the biggest one in this is not news, but the biggest one is like if you set a consequence for an action, you better follow through because you don't, the next time they're just gonna walk all over you. So many times I've heard Steven say, if you don't do that, you're not doing iPad tonight. And I'm like, but you're not the one that's home. I am. Right. If you can't follow through, right? Um, so I I think that's the biggest one is that they they respond to, you know, the the consequences that you set for certain behavior. That was my alarm to tell me it was time to do the podcast, by the way. Oh no, we are on the same way brain wave, it's totally fine. Yeah, so that's the biggest one. And then I also think that like people I was saying this earlier that like kids are allowed to have so many feelings, etc. And I come from like a very sort of old school upbringing where it was like, you do it. I'm the parent and you do it. There's not conversation about what you're feeling or why. So I will say that I have learned in my evolution of parenthood that that the conversation is actually important, right? The the respect that you show your child is then given back to you. Like not unrealistic things, but there are times that I have come down hard on Skylar or made a hard line about something, and then taking the 15 minutes to discuss the behavior that she was exhibiting actually did reveal that those feelings were valid and they need to be validated. Um, so I think that's important too, and not necessarily the way that I was raised. And and I think it's important for for young people to have a voice for sure.

David: 35:14

And also there's there is benefit to them seeing that you are holding a line, not only for like the stability and structure of their lives, but I I I saw this TikTok and was talking about like that when they see you holding lines, even it's with other people, they feel safe as you as their protector. They see you being strong enough to hold lines or to bark at somebody or to grab them or whatever the thing is. And obviously, we we are obviously not talking about like abuse in any sort of way. We're talking about holding hard lines, being like, no, you don't get to do that, you don't get to do that. And they see that as strength that will protect them. Um, and I say that to myself every time I yell at my daughter every night to go to fucking bed. Yeah.

Gavin: 35:54

I'm setting a good example for her, actually.

David: 35:56

I am I am saying this to myself.

SPEAKER_00: 35:58

Yes. I actually learned that from my mom. She was a second grade school teacher for like 25 years. Wow. And she worked in a school with a lot of uh some lower income families and kids that didn't have the best home environment. And she was known as the meanest teacher in the school, in theory, but all the kids loved her because they had no structure at home. Yeah and they she set very strict boundaries and she followed through, and there were consequences for their actions, and they loved her more than any of the teachers that brought in candy, right? Absolutely they they need some of that. Yeah. Wow, you must have gotten a lot of wisdom from her then. That was convenient. Yes, I did. Can you hold on one second? They're vacuuming. Can you hear the vacuum? Should I ask them to stay?

Gavin: 36:40

I did a little bit, but you know, it's fine.

SPEAKER_00: 36:42

Honestly, I don't hear it. I heard it a little bit like about five minutes ago. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that was actually the construction in the basement, but I think you guys are just in here. You had a busy day.

Gavin: 36:54

Well, then speaking of busy days, then also, you've been an actor, you've been a casting director, a realtor, an entrepreneur. Have you learned anything in the process? Or are you just moving from job to job?

SPEAKER_00: 37:06

I mean, I think I've learned something from each of them, right? Acting Broadway was like my dream, of course. And I did that for, you know, over 20 years. And I think it's it's one of the things that I'm most proud of for a number of reasons. Um, I learned that having a child and doing eight shows a week is not a thing. Like it's I don't know how people there are so many people in our community that are Broadway performers that have multiple children that go into the city. I mean, New Jersey transits against you. Like everything is it's really hard and they don't get to see their kids as much. So that's sort of what I learned from that experience, other than just the pride of what I got to do and was fortunate enough to do. Um real estate was very interesting because I entered that market when it was just insane when no one could get a house. It's kind of still the case. Um, casting was great. My dog, sorry.

unknown: 38:01

You're fine.

David: 38:03

That's okay. We appreciate messy guests. We want a messy guest who has all kinds of things happening and dogs and cleaners.

Gavin: 38:12

I'm just distracted by how perfect your hair is right now, Justin. So I don't consider you messy.

David: 38:19

That is that often has hair envy with our guests. He really likes a good head of hair.

Gavin: 38:24

That's a good Broadway um uh head of hair, right there, of being like, oh, I can I can look um camera ready in one second. Sure.

David: 38:31

And also like I can see how the mic would really love like a nice clip. Do you know what I mean? I can see I can see how it would clip perfectly into my hair.

SPEAKER_00: 38:39

Literally, there is a spot in my hair from a clip that is a like no prop, nothing in the world could make it crazy.

David: 38:47

I still feel like I still have like mic tape glue on the back of my neck. Like, still to this day, I haven't been on a Broadway stage in 10 years. I still feel like I have that. Still like find a piece.

Gavin: 38:57

Yeah, exactly. You left off at casting. I am really curious what that was like to suddenly be on the other side of the table.

SPEAKER_00: 39:04

And yeah. It was, I think that was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. A lot had to do with um uh where I was working and the process and some of the people I was working with. Um, and uh sort of a I entered that environment working for someone who was very old school. Um, and then that there was a new wave of respect in a great way for actors, and it sort of tipped in a way that was like you started to feel like you couldn't do anything right or say anything right. Um, but for me, of course, it was just a huge education because I every time I auditioned for something, if I didn't get it, I was like, What did I do wrong? I mean, I thought I sounded amazing. I I nailed that scene, blah, blah, blah. And then if I didn't get it, I would go down this spiral. And it literally, it has nothing to do with what you do in the room.

Gavin: 39:52

Every every actor should be an intern for a casting director when they arrive in New York City.

SPEAKER_00: 39:57

You you just I think it would help them to walk into the Room with so much more confidence because all you can control is what you do in the room. And 90% of the time, the outcome of the scenario has very little to do with your performance, it has to do with a million other things. So I found that very refreshing as an actor, even though I had sort of closed that chapter. And also, I loved being in the room and being a supportive person behind the table for actors. Because I don't think career casting directors really know what it takes to get in there. And you sit behind the table and you see a hundred people in a day, and as nice as you can be, by the time you get to 90, you're just like, How are you? Can you do your 16 bars? Right. And it unless you've done it, you don't understand what a person puts into an audition, how much they work on. I made it a point. If I assigned you a side, you got to do that side. Thank you. I hate it. Not in common. Those 90-page packets, and then you get through one scene and they've already decided who they're casting. And if you can't make a decision about casting an actor or or at least decide that they need a callback, then do not hand them 90 pages of sides. It's rude. That's great.

David: 41:12

I had issues, you know, when I when I transitioned to directing and I was now on the other side of the table making these decisions, I had a similar kind of like epiphany about like what this process was actually like and what I had gone through. And I have a similar kind of soft spot for actors because I was like, I did this for so like famously. Like I went into I went in for the same role for Phantom once a year for like five or six years, and the packet was legitimately 83 pages.

SPEAKER_01: 41:37

Yeah.

David: 41:37

And I, and luckily by like year two or three, I had it fully memorized was in my body. But I remember being so angry that I had to do all this information, knowing now, now that I'm a director, I was like, you didn't need all that information. You didn't hear me hear sing three notes, and then you knew where we were going. But then I would have to, there would be you know certain theaters that were like, listen, we have to cast somebody X, Y, and Z, or it's already cast or whatever, but we can't let everyone know for legal reasons or whatever. Or and it would just be so frustrating to me seeing these people spend their time, their money calling off of work, doing all this stuff for a role that like Gavin, when you came in for me, I was like, the role, it can't go to you because they told me it has to go to somebody who's played the role already. And like it's so I it's so frustrating. Because they put up shows in four days. We literally had to have the show set up in four days, and it was fucking wild. But you know, it it it is it is true. Like if you can, if you're an actor out there and you have any chance to assist or be on the other side of the table, it it is wild how how much that can inform you. Three days in a room would change your your whole perspective, I think.

Gavin: 42:39

Oh, that's totally it's so interesting. Did you ever have an issue running into actors on the street as a casting director and think, oh geez, I don't want to have to stop and talk to this person, or oh, this is really awkward, or like twice a day.

SPEAKER_02: 42:51

Twice a day, right?

unknown: 42:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 42:53

But then again, it's like you just put the shoe on the other foot, right? Somebody, you know, needs needs a connection, needs to feel I always tried to build people up because I don't think that you get anything good from actors beating them down. And I think that's like old, old school mentality beat someone down to build them back up again is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. You know, I mean, and in those some of those equity open calls, just like the characters that you meet are uh like people would get annoyed, and I would be like, This is amazing. Like, just come on, come on in here with your poodle and your crazy hair and your props, and let's let's make this happen.

David: 43:29

Oh, so especially some of those ECCs. I would sit there, and like you said, you're seeing 100, 200 people, 16 bars just come in. So, like they start to like bars, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. They start to feel all the same. You're like, okay, I've heard Metal Ark sung that at this level a hundred times already. But then somebody will come in and they're wearing like a big coat, and you're like, Oh, is there a reveal coming? You know what I mean? They land something planned, and you're like, oh my god, or they'll be like, Can I grab a chair? I'm like, oh shit, bitch, yes, show me, give me a full performance. Sit on that piano if you want to.

Gavin: 44:02

Can you share with us like one of the craziest things, one of the craziest off-beat auditions that you ever remember?

SPEAKER_00: 44:10

Um, it's I would say the most uncommon. I don't know about off-beat. There are so many of those, right? Like I mean, over chatty actors are kind of the that's when I work with kids, I work with um the students at Shenandoah, the seniors, and I'm always like, we're let's be friendly, but we're not friends, remember? Like when you come in, cordial comments, hello, how are you? Let's get down to business, right? Um, I I mean, probably the auditions for hair are the most awkward because some people just really decide to go all out, and I'm like, where should I be looking, right? It's like, oh wow. I can't look at your genitals, but oh my god. Yeah, you really took that 70s vibe reel down there. Like, thank you for going the extra mile, or not in this case.

David: 44:55

But yeah, I love how like you're telling the story and you're still not even able to look at the camera. Like you're like, I can't even look at myself telling the story.

Gavin: 45:03

Yeah. All right. So now you um are an entrepreneur and you own a gymnastics studio, right?

SPEAKER_00: 45:11

Tell us what tell us how that came about. No. Um, so I'll try and make it short. Uh, when I did Oklahoma, one of my good friends, Mia Price, uh, played Gertie Cummings. Of course.

Gavin: 45:22

Oh my god, I didn't know this connection. I love Mia Price.

SPEAKER_00: 45:24

This is I want to hear more about it. Keep going. Yeah, so I met her actually doing uh, speaking of putting up a show in four days, the original choreography to Crazy For You at Pittsburgh CLO. Where we put it up in four days. And they did bring in a lot of people. But uh, I stayed friends with her, and we've been friends ever since Oklahoma, well over 25 years now, I guess. 20 years I've known her at least. Um, and her husband uh is my business partner, and he owns six other gold medal gymnastics and ninjas in Long Island. Um and he'd been asking me about it for a really long time, and I just thought, you know, what what a headache. Like with real estate, I can do my own thing, I can work as much as I want to, etc. Um, but I started taking my daughter to gymnastics in this area, and I was a little bit disappointed in the training that she was getting. And gymnastics centers are very expensive to run and maintain, right? So a lot of them were subpar. And it um I just finally committed and said, you know what, I'm gonna do this. And it has been a crazy, crazy year. Like I don't know, I definitely would do it again, but I I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have now because opening a business is just it's impossible. And I never could have done it without, you know, the structure that they've created at the other gold medals. Um, but it has been it has been a big uphill climb and challenge that I'm very proud of. We hit the 1500 mark student uh ratio, which is unheard of. I love my coaches. I've gotten to know so many of them, and I'm just I'm really proud of it. Um so that that feels good. I didn't think that at 47 years old I would have started this new chapter or that it would have gone this way. And for all of the headaches and growing pains of the business, I'm I'm really proud of it.

David: 47:18

My kids go to a gymnastics studio by us, and there's the hottest coach for my son's group. And and whenever we have to split up, they're like, who's gonna go? I was like, Oh, I'll go, I'll go. I was like, he is he is uncomfortably hot, where like all the other parents, you there's like like side text going on about like ooh, ooh, ooh, and somebody found his Instagram that was like private, but somehow got it and found like shirtless photos. It was like a whole thing, but it is easily he is fucking gorgeous.

SPEAKER_00: 47:44

But I will say this particular gym that's in private lessons.

David: 47:47

Oh no, 100%. Like, do you coach 45-year-old men um privately and and my and my car? Um, but but I will say that this gym, and I I assume it sounds like your gym too, is like so that these people who work there are so fucking great with these kids. They know how to handle these little goblins in a way that is I I couldn't do, but is so supportive and it's like it's it's it's really strong. Like everyone is very like this is where you go, but it's still loving and sweet. It's it's a great place, yeah. So that's really exciting.

Gavin: 48:18

But surely the little goblins you're talking about pale in comparison to the old ogres that bring them to gymnastics. I mean, the parents are looking at me when you say that. The parents must be the pain in the ass. How do you manage them? Well, I am running a business here, so I would agree.

SPEAKER_00: 48:37

Um there comes the PR answer. Go on, go ahead. It's interesting. I can meet a child and tell you exactly what their parent is like without ever laying eyes on them.

David: 48:46

But that's true across the board. Like you meet a kid at the playground.

SPEAKER_00: 48:49

It's the same way.

David: 48:50

You say one thing to me, I was like, I know every fucking thing about your parents.

unknown: 48:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 48:55

Yep. I mean, I I will say, as we all know, being a parent is hard. So I try to be understanding. And if there are real issues, I will move heaven and earth to help you. Um, what I've really learned about parents in general is whether they're right or wrong. It's probably a stressed out mom or dad. And yet again, what their their issue probably has very little to do with you and everything to do with the day that they had. Yeah. Um, and initially, because I was so proud of what we had created, uh, my my first go-to was to be defensive, right? And to say, no, we have this in line and this person, and they've been teaching here for this long, and I can't, that would never happen in this gym. And then I realized that's not what anyone wants to hear. They just want to hear, oh my gosh, I can't believe that happened. I'm absolutely going to address it. And would you like a free class? Just give them a little something that costs you nothing so that they feel heard and validated and then move on. Now, there have been circumstances where I have put my foot down, and mostly that involves the treatment of my staff. I can deal with anyone, but you're not going to be disrespectful to my staff. Yeah, that's that's my hard line, really.

David: 50:02

Is is your daughter a a student? Like is she is she following in dad's footsteps?

SPEAKER_00: 50:07

She loves it, but I I laugh so hard. She she has great facility. She's very, I mean, the girl can do more pull-ups than I can. She can do like 20 pull-ups with you know, no problem at all. And she loves gymnastics, she's very athletic, but she's not always a hard worker. So, like the first, the first uh week we opened, she was like, I'm gonna be on team. And I had her try out for the team and she did her assessment and she was approved for the bronze level. She was there 45 minutes and she was crying in a corner, and she was like, This isn't for me. She was like, This is this is really hard work, isn't it? I was like, Yes, it is. It's very hard work. It's not just playing around because her experience was just running around the gym and having fun. Oh, yeah. And and bouncing on the bouncy floors.

David: 50:51

That's kind of all they want sometimes, right? It's so good to jump on those floors.

SPEAKER_00: 50:58

You just feel you're like, oh, I'm just a little wish. To be honest. Yeah. So good for your joints. Um, but now she's in a she's in a it's called an accelerated class. So it's a little above girls' gymnastics. It's two hours long. And um, we set up sort of a pod class for her and her friends with one of the coaches that's amazing, and she loves it. We're actually getting ready to do our expo this weekend, and she's performing in that.

Gavin: 51:20

So geez, all of that competition world, uh, you have to man that sounds like another layer of headache that maybe you'd I would imagine you could get into this job and be like, oh shit, I gotta go manage a bunch of competitions now, too.

SPEAKER_00: 51:33

Scheduling and it started out that way. Thankfully, now I have great directors and an amazing team coach. So I'm literally like, tell me what you want, let's make that happen. I'm not gonna tell you how to be a competitive team coach because I have no idea.

Gavin: 51:48

Wow, that's great. So um, do you have any well, I guess you're right in the middle of this right now, so you're not yet planning the next job, but uh but what do you want to do when you grow up?

SPEAKER_00: 51:59

Well, I think I would like to plan to expand this company to other places in New Jersey, to be honest with you. It's been it was sort of an experiment to start with. And um, you know, you never really know how it's gonna go when you open a business, but it's gone really well. And I'm again, I I also, as cheesy as this sounds, there is something to gymnastics and any sport really, but I do believe watching a child get better at anything improves their self-esteem and gives them confidence, and this is no exception. Um, so yeah, I want to and also the social, right?

David: 52:32

The social aspect of like being around other kids who are doing something good.

SPEAKER_00: 52:36

I I feel the same way. Also, a lot of these kids that started out in like our bronze babies, that's like the parent and taught class. Some of them hadn't been around people because of COVID, right? Like it's just it's it's really been helpful and productive for families on a lot of levels and great.

Gavin: 52:52

So, one uh um interesting element of your parenting, I would imagine, is the completely opposite schedules that you and Steven have an awful lot of the time.

SPEAKER_00: 53:01

And he brought that with me because he's out of the country six months out of the year.

Gavin: 53:05

Yes. What is that like, aside from you being like, yep, here as you take a slurp of whatever that was you were drinking, no judgment, you're like, oh, he's out of the country six months of the year. That's a lot. How do you manage that balance?

SPEAKER_00: 53:19

Uh I don't know. Honestly, there's no good answer, right? Like, my because of the financial aspects, uh, this is a dynamic I see in a lot of relationships, right? Because for so long he was the breadwinner entirely. Other, you know, I mean, everything I did sort of took a backseat. And if I'm honest, I've been pretty vocal about resenting it. Uh so uh we've started to pay very close attention to that. And there are now I'm like, my job is important too, right? Like it can't, it can't just because, you know, I get it when you know Stephen Schwartz says you gotta be here, you gotta go there, but like that doesn't mean I don't have an important job as well, right? Um, so I would say that's probably if there's any conflict in our relationship, it's been over that. Yeah, it's really difficult to to time manage. Um, Steven's mom is here, so she helps out. We have a caregiver that helps out. Um, my parents, you know, when when it's crazy and he's gone for a while, my parents live in Missouri, but they're extremely helpful. I just fly them here for however long. Yeah. And, you know, we make it happen. And then we also have a great support system with friends, you know, that that we can call and say, oh my gosh, can Skylar ride home with Naomi today? You know, stuff like that. But it's it's much less planned and more like, what's gonna happen today? Yeah.

David: 54:45

And there's I think that this could maybe be you'll you'll have to come back and we could do a whole part two about this. But like I feel the same way about, you know, when you have uh a dad in the family who is maybe the breadwinner or is the big breadwinner, and you you are just you're you're you're an equal partner in this family, and you're doing all this other stuff that is maybe not just directly translated to money, it that can feel a little like you have a little bit of a chip on your shoulder. So when the opportunity comes, you're like, no, no, no, no. It's because especially as an artist, like you're an artist at your heart, right? Like there is this like need to prove yourself and everything. So like I that this is a whole nother podcast, but I totally get that feeling. Yeah, and it's very relatable. It is very relatable. And uh God, I want to talk about Susie Orman right now, but anyway, we'll talk about that on part two.

SPEAKER_00: 55:28

Steven's favorite phrase that I have banned from his vocabulary is you know what we need to do. Um you mean you know what you want me to do. That I need to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is not a we.

Gavin: 55:42

I really, really, really appreciate and applaud you for being able to address exactly what you said um directly, because if that just stayed bottled up, it would just be a desperate, desperate housewife situation that that combusts.

David: 55:56

And you would be a day-drinking alcoholic like Gabriel. Like me. Like, yeah. This is what repressed feelings turn into. Look, look at it right in front of you. Here it is, folks.

Gavin: 56:06

Well, then speaking of your truth, then I'm curious. Um, how, especially given your variety of experiences, which I think that you've actually had a really interesting and I'm sure worthwhile and fulfilling trajectory. What is the professional advice you would give your daughter then, given your experience? Professional advice in terms of just life or career or yeah, well, yeah. What is the like, you know, when she leaves home, what are you what are the bits of advice that you want to be able to give to her?

SPEAKER_00: 56:38

Well, I mean, I think what we have always said, and what I think translates to work in life is be a kind person. Be, you know, have empathy, right? That's gonna get you the furthest in life in general, I think. And I think work ethic. I I I run a gym and I hire a lot of young people, and it is different than when I was growing up. There, I would say that you will stand out most if you manage to graduate and are a young person with work ethic, that you're not afraid of hard work, and you don't use phrases like, give me grace when you're really just late for work.

David: 57:17

You're just late for work, girl. You're you're you don't need to write a poem about it. You're just late.

SPEAKER_00: 57:23

Show me some grace. I'm like, can you show me some on time and then we can talk about grace? Yeah, well said. But I I just really think I would say empathy and work ethic are the two things. I don't care what you do, I don't care about financially what you make. I want you to be happy, I want you to be a kind person, and I want people to know that you are not afraid of hard work.

Gavin: 57:43

Yeah. Oh, that's that's excellent. I would say let's leave it there, except that I want to hear some shit stories from you too. So we always love being able to close out our interviews with saying, what was the time that you will never forget and you earned that parenting merit badge?

SPEAKER_00: 57:59

There, I'll tell you a couple of stories. One is like, so I grew up in a very strict Southern Baptist family, right? Like, I don't, I didn't ever hear my parents like curse at all, right? Stevens uh grew up differently. They were loud and Italian and there was a lot of cursing. I tell this story all the time. The first time I went to Thanksgiving with his entire family, which is his, he has a twin brother and sister, and we're sitting around the dinner table and they're just you know yelling and cussing and like just going on and on. And I was like, are we gonna say grace or no? Okay, apparently not. Here we go. Um, and Stephen, like Italian moms, this is a stereotype, but like they they complain a little bit about what they have to do, but then they want to do it all as well, like take care of their kids, especially their sons. So Steven just like hopped up from the table and like, you know, uh didn't take clear his plate or anything. And I was like, Stephen, take your plate. And his mom goes, You see what I deal with, these jerky fucks? And I was like, So my daughter has heard a lot of uh cursed words, I guess, from various people, but literally I never swore at all. Like I've slipped like once or twice in front of her ever. So for a long time, I didn't actually, I was like hearing all these parenting stories about their kids saying the funny things and cursing. And I was like, well, no, Skylar really doesn't. Um, and then one day when she was like four years old, she'd had like habitual cough, like she had her adenoids out and all this stuff. And I just hear her hacking away in in the room. And she, what did she, what was the exact thing she said? She used it perfectly. She was like, I can't stop coughing and I'm fucking sick of it. And I was like, Oh, okay, I guess she does know some curse words are all thanks, Nana and Daddy. But yeah, so that was how I found out she does know what curse words are and how to use them. Right. So yeah, that was my introduction to my daughter.

Gavin: 59:58

A well placed F bomb. Let's face it. Don't overuse it, but when it's appropriate, it's appropriate.

David: 1:00:04

And it's hard not to laugh because you're like, oh God, that's so funny, but I don't want to be a little bit more.

Gavin: 1:00:13

Well, Justin, we are so lucky that you would demean yourself. Stupid little podcast. And thank you. I think being able to hear your adage about kindness and work ethic. Oh, David. Oh, it's Gaben porn.

David: 1:00:27

It's Gavin Porn. Oh, God. He loves gratitude. Yes. He loves thoughtfulness. Yes. It goes the wrong way.

Gavin: 1:00:34

It sure does. Thank you for that, Gavin porn. Jason, Justin, thank you so much for coming. And um and we'll have that part too where we uh bring in some Susie Orman um references. Yes. And let's do it. And how to make the world a better place. Thanks, Justin. Bye guys. Thank you. All right. I am so excited for my something great this week because, well, one, I thought about it ahead of time. And two, in a world where all of the news is fucking terrible and there are so many things to be down about. I love that somebody else is out there eloquently giving all the fucks and educating people and screaming at the people who um basically don't agree with us. And so it's a guy, it his uh his Instagram handle is it's Luke underscore seven, and this guy serves all the rage in all of the really, really good ways. And man, I would love to see a public debate between him and just about anybody on the MAGA right. Uh let me give you just a little taste, okay?

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:34

I didn't vote for this, I didn't know all this was gonna happen, and now it's starting to affect me. And it's empty because ice rated, and thanks to the terrors, I can't afford any more. And so now every single fuck I've got left is going towards calling out all of the terrible shit that's going on and supporting the people who need help who didn't give this shit legs to stand on.

Gavin: 1:01:58

I love how he just lets it fly. So for me, something great that brings me a whole lot of joy right now in a dark, dark world is at its Luke underscore seven. Can't wait. Luke, don't know if you're gay. Hope you are. Don't know if you're a dad, probably not because you look 22 years old, but come be a guest on Gatriarchs because we would love to hear how many fucks you don't have to give.

David: 1:02:24

It's so funny because I I know who that is, but I didn't know that his name. So when you started talking, I was like, I don't know who this is. But as soon as I heard his voice, I was like, I fucking love that guy. Because you're right, there's something so cathartic about hearing somebody else in rage in the way that you wish you could. It's like when you're in the shower after a fight and you're re-playing it and you're rehearsing the way you should have done it and then they get it right. Well, what's so funny about the something greats, for those, for the listener out there who doesn't know, we the something greats for Gabe and I are a surprise. I don't know what his is, he doesn't know what mine is. It is always so magical when they line up in a beautiful way. My something great this week is also an internet person who is also just firing off at the mouth politically in a way that is so cathartic and wonderful. So I started following this guy. His name is Kyle Sullivan. If you don't know who he is, his he's at Celtic Jumper, C-E-L T-I-C-J-U-N-P-E-R. I'll admit, I'll admit this, Gaben. I started following him because he is often shirtless. He is gorgeous. This is my surprise, Trace. This is my surprise. He's got this, he's always done this like dark, goffy, Halloween, sexy vibe. Like he'll wear like the scream mask with no shirt on and with like a like a black and white filter. That was his MO for a long time, which I was okay with. I was like, this is enough content for me, Kyle. But then recently, and he's he's he's straight, and um, he's never really done much politically. Recently, he has gone, he does a morning rage where he just sits in his car and he just goes, What the fuck? And like he is so he is such he is such a liberal in a way where like coming from this like muscly tatted, like straight guy, there's just something so satisfying and powerful about it. And I was just thinking, and I sent him a message, I rarely fangirl, but I send him just like thank you, because unfortunately, your voice matters more when you're yelling about how important it is to support pride or support whatever, because you're a straight white man who is gorgeous and has tattoos. But man, is he awesome! So our our something greats lined up in a beautiful way this week. So he is at Celtic Jumper. His name is Kyle Sullivan. He's hot, guys. So even if you just want to go there for the shirtless stuff, he is super, super fucking hot. So give him a follow. And that is our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com.

Gavin: 1:04:48

Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFMVonEverywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge on the res.

David: 1:04:57

On the Lakota reservation. Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcasts.

Gavin: 1:05:04

Thanks, and we'll rage at you next time on another fucking episode of Gatriarchs!