Gaytriarchs: A Gay Dads Podcast
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Gaytriarchs: A Gay Dads Podcast
The one with Jamie Grayson, Part Deux!
This week, we dedicate our episode to all of our amazing listener. We debrief on our how Pride month went, if anybody actually showed up to our meetup in Central Park, we rank the top 3 podcasts, and this week we are joined by one of our favorite guests, Jamie Grayson, as he updates us on the status of the baby gear industry, what baby gear you should and shoudln't buy used, and what it's like being ghosted in Denver.
Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast
Gavin, so I have our listener saying, and this is Gay Trucks for our cold open, but our cold open is usually preceded by you failing somehow.
Gavin:So can you quickly fail? There's some way that I'm going to be able to um uh uh s fa screw this up, yes. And um in my usual in um ineloquence, I think.
David:Some like somehow like that monologue. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And this is gatriarchs. And this is gatriarchs.
SPEAKER_12:And this is gay triarcs. And this is gatriarchs, and this is gatriarchs, and this is gatriarchs. Please.
SPEAKER_01:Please! And this is gatriarchs. And this is gatriarchs.
Gavin:David, I had so much fun this weekend. What did you do this weekend? Oh my god, I had the best time.
David:Really? First of all, we are recording this on a Monday before the Wednesday release. So we're like kind of in time. Normally we record a couple weeks in advance, but like this is basically a fresh episode.
Gavin:This is in real life and in real time, for sure. A fresh one that is certified fresh and on the cusp of making news, I'm sure. But we, you and I, hung out together this weekend. Sure did. A couple of our closest friends, didn't we? Our newest and closest friends, without a doubt. We had our meetup, and David, on the scale of one to OMG, what was your level of anxiety that absolutely nobody would show up?
David:Oh, a million. I texted you a hundred times before this as we were like coordinating like who's bringing the balloons or whatever. And I was like, what if no one shows up? Yes. What if we are the only people in this park with like 40 juice boxes? Yeah. And like, like, and you're bringing in alcohol. And you know, it was raining that morning. It was raining in the morning. It was gray, it was overpassed.
Gavin:We were inventing a million different reasons to just call the whole thing off. But also, it was gonna be in a public place, so they we were like, we'll just pretend that all of these people are here for us.
David:But when we got there, there was still nobody there because it was so gray and rainy and wet. Like it's a public park.
Gavin:But anyway, and also who shows up on time. That would be blame.
David:That is only me when I'm under duress. That is true. But we we did do it, and I'm so gl thankful we did. Yeah, so thankful our listener suggested we do it, and I'm so thankful to men having babies for partnering because thank you, men having babies. Yes, if you saw on our Instagram feed, a lot of people came, a lot of really great dads that we have never met, some listener that we have messaged with before. Um, we had a lot of so fantastic. It was so fun, and I'm so glad we did it. And I'm I was so nervous, and now I'm you know, I'm like, whatever.
Gavin:We have to And now we're on the other side, and our imposter syndrome is over, and we'll try to um schedule something even bigger and grander next year to also give us tremendous anxiety about throwing a party that nobody comes up to, but for sure bigger.
David:I I got a couple of messages from a couple of listeners who were like, you know, oh, I'm so jealous, I missed this or whatever. Please come out to name of country or area they live next time. And I was like, oh God, that's gonna fill me with even more anxiety because I'm like, we're gonna do this in the UK. But listen, I promised my future ex-husband, Liam, we would do it in the UK. Um, I know some I got a lot of messages from people all over the world saying, Oh, like I wish I could have come, or can you come here next? Listen, I hope someday this podcast is big enough to where we can go on a tour, like our friend Ellen, who just goes on tour and all of her listeners come in. She has listeners. We have listeners.
Gavin:But I want to give you a. But you know what? Our listener, though, is it's it's a more sincere relationship, don't you think? It's more intimate. Listener is devoted.
David:They are devoted and they are wonderful. And I will say, I have to give a special shout out, and I know you know who I'm gonna talk about. Oh, yes, I do. Our listener, the one we met, Daniel, you know who you are. Daniel showed up, he introed himself, we talked a little bit. He was like, Oh, I I thank you for the show, and we were just chatting. And then he was like, I have to show you something, and he started unzipping his jacket.
Gavin:And he did make the disclaimer, I hope this doesn't seem a little creepy as he was un uh unzipping his jacket.
David:And listen, this this is the start of many of my ex-boyfriend's relationships. So I was I was ready. I was like, Daniel, I'm prepared. But if you saw the Instagram feed, he was the one in the white shirt, he made a t-shirt that says listener. And it was so fucking funny and so beautiful and so wonderful. And I don't, I didn't tell you this, Gavin. I got a couple messages from people saying, wait, do you guys have merch? I want to buy that shirt. And I was like, oh man, we're missing out. But Daniel, so so funny, so hilarious, so great to meet you. He was very thankful for the show. So was a lot of you. We we met, you guys all had really nice things to say to us. A couple of you showed up and were like, oh, I've never heard of the show before.
Gavin:And we thought it was all about us, but really, that's another shout out to men having babies. So thank you so much for partnering with us and amplifying this and part and and being part of it as well. It was great to meet Ronnie. Ron Ron. Ron. Oh, thank God. I'm not cutting that out.
David:I'm not cutting that out. I hope he used that.
Gavin:It was so great to meet Ron and um his kid and his husband Josh, and that was super fun. And also, I want to give another shout-out to listener. The fact that um he and his partner are um just on the baby track. They don't have a kid yet, but they've been listening to us for a long time, which is it was reassuring to know that um all of the bullshit we spew is creating community, and that is the entire point of this. Also, community of rejects who don't want to pretend that parenting is just goop and fabulosity on Instagram, but rather um very hard and very wonderful and very rewarding and very hard.
David:And very hard. And guess what? Uh uh you just heard our cold open was how a lot of our listener at the park gave in, recorded a bunch of people saying, uh, and this is gay charts for a cold open. You're gonna hear from them a little later in the episode as well. This is this is a listener, this is this episode is dedicated to our listener. So thank you for that.
Gavin:And not just you, listener, but you and you and you and you listener as well. Correct, correct. Um, what else did you do for pride this year, Gabin? Well, then I did have the rest of the day. I so I was not able to go collapse like I kind of wanted to, but I was able to go ride city bikes with my son and his friend who came down with me, and that was super fun and terrifying that we were riding across 57th Street, uh, me with two uh 12-year-olds not wearing helmets, riding across New York City. That was a little uh harrowing, but we used bike lanes and we were down the West Side Highway, and all I could think was now the sun is out and I didn't put any sunscreen on, but we stopped along the way. It was it was really great. And then that night I had friends in who happened to be in town, actually, um Rachel and Brent, who showed up at the um meetup that morning, and uh we walked the village because they had never done so before. And I'm like, well, tonight is the night. There we were Saturday night walking the village, and me just more being like, look at this fantastic part of New York City and history and whatnot. And also, oh, there goes boobies, and uh, there's uh definitely two dudes doing more than just making out up against a uh building, and it was awesome. And the kids were kind of asking, we were having a very clinical conversation also about what, for instance, is the definition of a drag queen and what is uh why are there women running around walking around with no shirts on? And I'm like, listen, kiddos, we are we are not in country mice right now. Yeah, I will say that it was all a bit tamer than I thought it was gonna be.
David:Yeah, it's definitely tamed down, which I think has been a criticism from the gay community that it's gotten too family friendly. And I and Dan Savage, who I will be talking about later for our top three list, um, often says, like, I get the inclusivity and how it's tamed down that maybe we should have like, you know, pre-6 p.m., that is the family friendly kind of corporate pride that we are doing now. Yeah. Post 6 p.m., do not bring your kids here because we will be doing butt stuff in public. And so I think that's totally great.
Gavin:I was walking around Washington Square Park at 10:45 at night. I was not expecting anything to be G-rated, and I don't think it was like corporate and I mean, I kind of feel like I was the only person walking around with kids, but still, even in the dark and the music playing and people dancing all over the Washington Square Park fountain, which was very cool. And had I not had children there, I absolutely would have been in that disgusting water part of the dance party. Uh, but I think it was just a dance party, which is cool, but like a more You wanted a little edge. I it was PG 13 and not triple X, which I was at least let's land on an R. Do you know what I mean? A strong NC17. Can we, please? Totally. Uh it was PG 13. Um anyway, but it was great.
David:What about you for the rest of the day? Um, well, the rest of the day, I uh what what was hilarious was at the meetup, certain people would come up to me and they're like, oh, like, you know, I I feel like I know you so much better than you know me. And that that's always a weird thing when people, you know, have listened to this show for what, a hundred and what is this, 113 episodes? Crazy. And they know so much about you, and you're like, I don't know anything about you. But um, a couple of people, because I brought my son and my daughter, a couple of people were like, oh, that's her. Like people were we're now making connections between the crying toddler next to me and the crying toddler I constantly mention. And that was really funny. Um, no, but uh we didn't really do much for the rest of the day, but I do want to like mention two things is what you know, one is that I and this is too Gavin, too Gavin lodge of me, but forgive me, is that like this year, more than any other year, I've noticed the importance of the visibility of having pride flags out. Yep. Because I uh the world is, I don't know if you're aware, the world is majorly fucked up right now. It's on fire. It's on fire, and gay people are next. We know we're coming, it's coming for, it's been coming for us and our trans brothers and sisters and stuff. But um, you know, in my neighborhood and neighborhoods I'm in, in the world, seeing somebody wearing the shirt, seeing somebody's flag in their yard, it just feels really good. It gives me just a little minute of feeling of safety. Yep. And we have like a five foot by three foot pride flag that always makes us very uncomfortable because you can see it a mile away. And then every year we go, this is the fucking point. Yeah. The point is to stick our neck out a little bit because somebody is gonna walk by and say some shit. Um, and so that is one thing I want to say. And the other thing was like the I love the family-friendly pride stuff because I think it's important to have kids around this stuff. Now, I'm not talking about the NC 17 stuff. I do think there should be a separation of that. Yes. But I do think kids should be around drag queens and multi-kid, uh, multi-parent families and all that kind of stuff. And so I'm very thankful for the prides around me, North Jersey Pride in particular. That is, it's all of that. It is all of that, and it's so normal. The kids are just there for ice cream and the film party. Yeah, they're not trying to make a stand or be activists and that sort of thing. I think it's a nice thing to normalize this stuff. So anyway, I I had a great pride this year. I did not go to the main pride in New York City because I'm 45 years old and I don't do that shit. Um, but I had a great pride this year, and I'm very thankful again. I'll just say it to our listener for suggesting the meetup, and the meetup was really great. And it was fun to see you. I haven't seen you in a while in person. I haven't met your kids, you haven't met my kids.
Gavin:So we haven't mentioned in a very long time how actually you and I do not know each other. I still don't know you very well. I don't know how tall you are. I don't know. I have to be reminded. Oh, you're not short. Okay. You we're the same height.
David:And when you talk, I barely listen. So I still don't know much about you. But anyway, um, speaking of our listener and pride, what are we gonna do for next year, Gavin? Because we are really good at planning. And so I just wanted to ask you, what are we gonna do for Pride next year?
Gavin:Hey, uh, first of all, we're gonna have a sugar daddy who's gonna fund us to have a marketer and actually get out there and spread this word, not because we want to have uh money ourselves, uh, but actually to build this community even further because it deserves to be. Actually, side note, one of the interesting interactions I had later on Saturday was I was out with the kids still and we were at another playground, and a guy walks up to me and he goes, Hey, what's this podcast? And luckily there was not a sense of defensiveness on my part. I could see that he had rainbow uh bracelets all over and he was super dad-like. And I'm like, Oh, uh, it's this, blah, blah, blah. And we were chatting, and he's like, Well, I'm a gay dad. I guess I need to start listening. And I'm like, Why haven't you been listening? But we clearly Because we suck at this. Yeah, because we suck at this. So uh Sugar Daddy out there, um, just send us a marketing intern, please. That would be great. As far as uh Pride next year, I mean, let's just lean in and be let's be the change that we want to see, and let's get involved officially with New York City Pride, can we? And maybe another pride somewhere else and not just North Jersey, but like, hey, Sugar Daddy, you want to send us over to the UK to do um something there too? Oh my god, and Liam can Liam, my future ex-husband Liam, can finally join us. Yes, that would be can't wait for that. But I do think we should blow it up a little more in an official capacity and not be not be the ones who are sneaking into the room a little like, oh, do we belong here? I don't know, nobody will come. Screw it. Let's make it big. And if nobody comes, great. But if everybody comes, you're welcome.
David:Oh, yeah, I like when everybody comes. But also, any listener to this podcast knows we're not gonna do any of that. We're gonna wait five days before pride, panic, and make something up last minute.
Gavin:Um, but something we did at the meetup that I'm very excited to listen to is you gave and watch you intro this because so I did want to be able to bring in some voices from the people coming around us, and also because we're tired of listening to ourselves, or I'm certainly listening, tired of listening to David, and frankly, listeners probably tired of listening to us as well. And we want to be able to hear from those around us because we're always kind of stretching for dad hacks in particular. And I wanted to hear what the simple things are that other people do. And I, hey, I had my little um very, very expensive recorder in my hand, also known as my phone, and uh, we were able to get some voices from the meetup. So I went around asking several folks, uh and I I probably violated all sorts of norms about privacy and recording in the public sphere. So please don't go join Agva or whatever the voiceover union is to sue us because you know we have nothing. Although, if we have that sugar daddy, can you just cover our court costs down the line, please? But anyway, all that said, we have some dad hacks from some of the guys who were at the meetup, and you should listen to all of that wisdom because there were some real gems in there for sure. And so this is it. I don't think that was necessary. Um Barry, what is your hack with Harrison?
SPEAKER_12:Just to have a broken adult version of everything you have that he can play with and think he's like owning it, like a broken computer mouse, a broken keyboard, a broken laptop. Remote controls. Remote con for sure remote controls. Like most obvious one, yeah. I should have said that first.
Gavin:Hand-me-down phones.
SPEAKER_12:Oh yeah. Well, everything becomes a phone anyway. Yeah, I mean, so it doesn't matter here and there. But yes, yes, he would love. Yeah, I don't have one of those yet. I need to give him a hand-me-down phone. You'll get there.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you. Thank you.
Gavin:I have Scott here. Scott is very lucky to have to stay home with his daughter, who is Stella Pearl, and um, and there I I bet there's a million different ways you get through the day easiest. And what helps you?
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so when when Stella Pearl is uh about a week home, be a week old, uh we the doctor told us no screen time. So I we've been avoiding uh, you know, the TV or a phone or anything. But in any emergency, like uh like uh for when we we brought uh Stella Pearl to another pediatrician when she was about a year old and she just went crazy and started crying when they put the thermometer in her ear, and it was hysterical, and it was a big disaster, they couldn't do anything. So I I found uh a music video, and the next time we went for 15 months, she was completely calm and it was like uh you know, it was it was uh almost a magical effect on our baby. So but if we did it all the time, it wouldn't, you know, it wouldn't be that useful. Yep. So so screen time is usually bad, but in an emergency, it's it's wonderful, it can be a lifesaver.
Gavin:So boycott for as long as you can until it's absolutely necessary, and then it's a life change life saver, right? Exactly. Thank you, Scott. Alright, here I am asking Chaz, Chaz, what is your dad hack?
SPEAKER_05:So CVS has their extra care program, right? For zero dollars a month, you sign up, you I don't know, get uh discounts and coupons and all that stuff. But for$4.99 a month, I believe, you can do extra care plus and get even more discounts, 20% off of all CVS uh brand products, but they also give you$10 a month to spend. So you spend$4 or$4.99 a month just to get this$10 coupon. You're actually making money. And and if you're a parent and you live in New York City, you're going to CVS multiple times per week, especially for baby products, and you're getting 20% off on top of all the other coupons that they're giving you. This is another level of something great. So thank you.
Gavin:That's awesome.
SPEAKER_05:You're welcome.
SPEAKER_07:Alright, we have Michael with the dad hack. So my favorite dad hack when helping my two-year-old son get ready for the day is to, while brushing his teeth, to always hand him a book on brushing his teeth. I know it sounds perhaps very meta, but he needs to focus on something about his teeth that are not actually his teeth. Now, are you brushing or is he brushing at the time that he's reading the book? I'm doing the brushing. Yeah. If he were to do it, he would do so, let's say, ineffectively.
Gavin:Yes. Great. Excellent dad hack, thank you. We have Chris and Som with a little dad hack to get through the day.
SPEAKER_04:Sing any song, change the words, and make it silly. And laugh.
Gavin:Silly, like poop and pee jokes, probably. Poop and pee, rhyming. Yes, that's a good definitely a good way to get through the day. Anything to add, Som?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, like a catch and chase and catch, like he likes that.
Gavin:Yeah. Uh just being making the kid fetch stuff?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah. And then they're not gonna chase him. He likes to be chased. Yes. So yeah, that's nice.
Gavin:Gets through the day with more smiles.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely.
Gavin:Thank you. Actually, this is terrible. This is exactly like the podcast where I'm like, can you say exactly that again? Okay, we have um Daniel and Jaime who are about to be dads, and they have um hacks for when they are dads. I'd say sleep when the baby sleeps. That's the easiest thing, right? Yes, that's what it is. Good, good, good advice. Good advice. Jaime, do you have anything to add? I was gonna say sleep now. Yes. And also spend all of the time doing frivolous things like playing video games on your phone and that kind of thing. Because yeah, so get the sleep now and and and go out to dinner lots when it's still well before they start walking, but yes. Okay, cool. Thank you. Okay, Josh and Ron, do you have any simple hacks to get through the day with Cooper who is 14 months old?
SPEAKER_11:When we brush his teeth at night, we sing a song that we learned on Miss Rachel. Which is Miss Rachel is just in general a hack. Um but which is um when you wake up in the morning, it's a quarter to one, and you're looking to have a little fun. You brush your teeth, you brush your teeth. And then you have to let him brush his own teeth too. Right. So he feels like he has a turn. Attention when it's set to music.
Gavin:Everything is better when it's set to music, right, Cooper? Can you sing a song to us, Cooper? Here is Kai and Jack, and I am so curious. They are on the jer uh the parenting path, they are not yet parents, and I'm curious to know how they're gonna be the best dads they possibly can be.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Uh well, uh, I think being patient is a very very important factor to to to help you become a good dad, right? And I think Jack is really patient. Uh so you must be a very good uh dad in the future. And for me, I think I'm more uh I'm more leaning towards all the details of our daily life. Uh well, you know, bringing up a kid. You really have to spend lots of time digging into all the details. Uh and um I think I have to really have this good habit or I or even the personality that will be quite equip me uh as a really good dad in the future.
Gavin:With detail orientation for sure.
SPEAKER_02:Anything to add, Jack? I think it's the unconditional love. Because it's a big achievement towards him or her to grow from a baby to an adult and uh how how it how he how she shapes his personality and uh um I I think it's just uh very cute and uh and uh a big accomplishment for me uh to raise him or her, not just to love care that's it to play with them and uh educate them, teach them everything.
Gavin:And when you say unconditional love though, I also think how the unconditional love has to overcome the incredible challenges and and and and uh yeah, all of the adversity you face, right?
SPEAKER_02:Yes, yeah, we already met a lot of obstacles, uh financially, emotionally, well everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. But luckily we have friends and family supporting us, and uh and we are busy with our work, but uh our parents can look after supporting us, right? You're here.
Gavin:We are all gatriarchs, for sure. Yes, that's it. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:We've got another set of dad hacks here. Go for it. I think our dad hack is an improv technique called yes and.
Gavin:You know? Yes, and we are uh we're a familiar for sure.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, yeah. So like the answer is never no. It's always yes and you have to do that with shoes on. Yes, and you're, you know, you like you have to clean up your toys, yes, and you know. Um, whatever. Just it's always yes and.
Gavin:Hannah, do you say yes and I will do that?
SPEAKER_12:No.
Gavin:Comedy perfection.
David:Um, that was awesome. I I love it. It is it is still weird to me to to imagine other people listening to this podcast, but we've met them. We've just heard from them. Thank you all for those dad hacks. Um, those were super helpful, and I hope they help all of you out there. But you know what is not gonna help any of you out there? What? Our top three lists.
Gavin:Gate triarks, top three list, three, two, one.
David:All right, this week is my week. This is the top three podcasts. Now, I assume that I don't know what yours are, Gavin, but I assume this is gonna be very personal, like top three podcasts to me. Um, obviously, we're not including Gate Sharks, that's number one on everyone's everyone's list. Everyone has been rating us five stars, everyone's been sharing it online, sharing it with their gay dad friends. But this week.
Gavin:But please keep doing that, by the way, please. Sure.
David:Um, it is the top three uh podcasts. Now, for me, number three, Radio Lab.
Gavin:Oh, that's a really good one.
David:Yeah, Radio Lab. If you know what it is, if you know what this American life is, it's kind of a a take on that where every week they they do a big story about something. And it I'm it sounds very generic, but it is so beautifully produced and edited. There's it is and I'll it's it's always a work of art. It really is a work of art. Um, so it's called Radio Lab. Um, number two, easily the funniest podcast I've ever listened to in my entire life, Smartless. I know it's a big one. I know. Uh like they need a shout-out from us.
Gavin:Although, Sean, please come be on our show.
David:I know, I've reached out to him, but but anyway. Um, but Smartless, if you don't know, um it's hosted by uh Jason Bateman, um Sean um oh Jesus. Sean Hayes or Jack, just Jack, Sean Hayes, no, Sean Hayes and Will Arnett, and they are three friends for they've been best friends for years, but they started this podcast as a way to kind of keep in touch with each other during uh COVID, and it has turned into a media, it's the number one podcast, I think it's been years running. But it is so fucking funny. Now they always interview a celebrity, which is honestly the least interesting part. The funniest part is they are so mean to each other, but so good at it because they're best friends, and I just fucking love it. So uh number two for me and smartless. And number one, this is no surprise, if you know me, this podcast changed my life and I love it so much. Savage Love. Uh Dan Savage uh hosts, he's a it's a section relationship advice podcast. Dan Savage is so great. Uh it it basically made me realize that like every relationship there's no one gold star relationship model. The best relationship model is the one that is that works for two consenting adults. That's it. That's all it is. Um, but it's just a it's just a great podcast, and you just get to hear from the the just every sect of the world, every gender, every sexuality, and the relationship or sex problems, and how we're all kind of doing the same thing together. Yeah. Um we're all just mired in all the same shit, and we are trying. And uh Dan Savage, I have been desperate to get on the show because he's perfect for it. And uh we can't wait to have you here, Dan. We will have you here. But yeah, number one for me is Savage Love. What about you?
Gavin:I love podcasts and I love podcasting, and I love you for bringing me into this because I wanted to do a podcast for so long with a business I started a while ago. I can't even say that with a straight face. But I'm so glad to be doing this, and I love the medium. Um, and yeah, so it was very hard to narrow this down. So I didn't. So number three for me, number three for me is You're wrong about all about uh uh dispelling all of the rumors from the 80s and 90s about pop culture that is absolutely fantastic. If Books Could Kill, which um takes all of the books from airports that basically are saying a bunch of bullshit about like if you just eat this, you'll be this skinny, or if you do this, you'll change your relationships, or this, you'll be a better person. And it's just fantastic. On the media is from NPR, and they just actually dispel all the stories from uh from they break down the media and the story and the the news from that week. Pots of America, obviously, they don't need to shout out, but it's fantastic. The realignment is a political, a political one that's uh talking about the realignment of between Democrats and Republicans is fantastic. The Lonely Planet, hosted by Tamir Avishai, who's gonna be a ghost, uh ghost, a guest of ours coming up, and she goes and interviews people in art museums and to talks to them about their art love and whatnot. Number three, uh excuse me, Articles of Interest, which is all about the history of the fashion world, which is actually absolutely captivating. Ezra Klein, of course, because everybody loves Ivory, Ezra Klein. That's my number three. Gavin, the reason you didn't start another podcast is that right there.
David:You just we just lost a hundred listeners for that fucking rambling incoherent monologue. Oh my god. Number two. I'm so sorry.
Gavin:Just that so in a couple of minutes. Is Dolly Parton's America? Everybody should listen to Dolly Parton's America. It isn't political, and yet it is. It it is about her fabulosity and she's the national treasure. Yeah, she's a national treasure, and you this podcast just celebrates her in a very, very unique and PR kind of way. And it's awesome. So number two for me is Dolly Parton's America, a must-listen to number one for me, uh, hands down, through line. I know that I've talked about this before on the podcast. I absolutely love through line. It is uh it's uh it's looking at current events through the lens of history and the through line of what happened back in 1912 that got us to today, 2025, etc. It is so thorough, and they pick obscure topics of that you were like, ah, I hadn't thought about the history of bananas being produced in in banana republics and why bananas are actually so cheap right now. So, anyway, number one for me is through line.
David:I've actually never heard of that. I will be listening to that. I am also a lover of podcasts, and we now know, weirdly, that people listen to these top three lists and sometimes buy shit and sometimes download stuff. So um, I'm excited to do that. What is our topic next week that you've prepared for sure?
Gavin:Next week is Jamie Grayson's list, right? No, honey.
David:That's at the end of this episode, is we're doing a special top three list with Jamie Grayson, who is our guest coming up.
Gavin:Who is our guest coming up? So not that we uh not that I'm putting any carts before the horses by any stretch of the imagination. Okay, I want to know your top three recipes that you like to bring to a summer barbecue. Well, today's guest on Gatriarchs is probably our favorite Gatriarch, if only measured in his sheer visits to our podcast virtual studio. Welcome back, the baby guy, with all the free gear and all the political shade, unafraid to cut a bitch. Our one night stand that is turned into a three-peat because he brings all the boys to the yard. Welcome back, Jamie Grayson! Hello.
David:How are y'all? Oh my god. Our mint julep man. Our mint julep man. We love a mint julep. Come on. Me too. I think about that story once every two weeks. Like I legitimately think about that story.
SPEAKER_10:Do you know what's magical about it now? Is Isaac is one of the book writers of Justin Time.
Gavin:Really? Yeah. Wait a minute. Was he the recipient? He was the recipient of the mint julep? He got the mint julep.
SPEAKER_10:He got the mint julep.
Gavin:Yes.
David:And by the way, for any listener out there who does who has not heard the previous episode, mint julep is not some sort of like metaphor for Jamie's dick. It is literally a mint julep that he would serve to his tricks coming through his door.
Gavin:So a co-writer of Just in Time, which of course, then let's just before we even talk about all the baby shit, let's talk a little bit about the Tony's shit. How did we feel about the Tony's, which admittedly, at the time that we're releasing this, is about a month late. Literally. Literally a month and a half literally. But hey, it is there is never, it is never too late to talk about Audra McDonald, right? Is that how you feel?
SPEAKER_10:I will I will talk about Audra every day. Uh I actually did, so I had an event in Columbus this weekend. And yesterday in the Columbus airport, I shit you not. I like got my Starbucks, I'm going to sit down, and I see a young person sitting on their iPad watching gypsy clips on YouTube. And I'm like, okay, I feel it. So my table is next to theirs. Two other young people come over and they start doing like Audra clapping and stomping. And I was like, good for you. I've seen Audra twice in Gypsy. So we start talking. And they were three of the kids in the tour of Kimberly Akimbo. So I said I sat at the airport chatting with the Akimbo cast about Mother Audra, and that says happy pride.
David:I mean, I all I can say is they lucked into meeting you. Can you like like the of all the people to run into at an airport, just a kind queen who can speak their language? Yes. Yes.
Gavin:I'm fluent in I'm fluent in Diva. But but not to throw any shade on Nicole Schersinger, but how did you did you get to see her as well?
SPEAKER_10:I was able to see Mandy Gonzalez and Nicole. Um and Nicole was Nicole was terrific, like terrific in it. Um Audra was on a different plane of existence in that show. Um I've seen her twice in it. I sat second row center to sit at her feet during Rose's turn. Like my my my body would not stay in my seat. Like it levitated out. Um and she, I mean, it's not like she needs an 87th Tony, but it and again if it's deserved, let's it's deserved.
Gavin:Yeah. Let's celebrate and uh and give the award where it's really, really deserved.
David:I love the idea of like an usher having to come over and you'd be like, sir, you must sit in your seat and not levitate above.
Gavin:Levitate. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Everybody, everybody levitated though. But what I will say, I was talking with I was talking with some friends because I was just in the city of like, this is the first year in a long time where I can look at all five of those women who were nominated and be like, they're either giving career-defining performances or like a career-making performance. Oh, yeah. All five of them were unbelievable.
David:And I will say, like, that like I I maybe have a slightly different take on Audra and who should have won and all that kind of stuff. But what I do, I totally agree with you, it is more fun as a viewer, and it's more fun as a fan of any of them to have real competition and be like, yeah, I get it. I get that. It was the same way when like Wicked and Avenue Q, and there's like when there's like actual multiple best things, it's way more fun than just like there were only four revivals, so there are four nominations, and there is one clearly that's better than the others. But it is really fun to kind of be like, God, you know what? All these women are fucking amazing.
Gavin:Uh-huh. And uh you you also were uh you did a little quite a deep dive also into Maybe Happy Ending, right? Too you that was a big thing.
David:I've seen that twice as well. Yes. Oh, I drank the Maybe Happy Ending Kool-Aid. The second the lights came up, I was in my head, I was like, I need to spread the gospel. I need to spread the word. I don't work for Maybe Happy Ending, but I was everybody I talked to, you know, you all we all get those texts from people who are going to New York City and they're like, hey, what show should I see? Every single person, I was like, you have to run to see Maybe Happy Ending because you're not gonna get tickets after the Tony's. I do have an issue with what they performed on the Tony's out of context, I don't think works for people who didn't know everything about the show. Also, the kiss does not happen then in the show, which is really frustrating for me. But also the Tony Awards were last month, whatever. But anyway, yes, maybe happy ending. Yeah, uh uh totally drank the Kool-Aid on that show.
SPEAKER_10:It it deserves every single award. It's the best new show I've seen in years.
David:In a decade. I said that to my husband. I was like, this is the best show I've seen in a decade. Yeah, yeah.
Gavin:So will you give us a little uh tour of what is going on behind you in your Zoom screen, please? Um what fresh hell are you living in right now? There are so many baby seats behind you, aren't there?
SPEAKER_10:Well, so my apartment here in Denver has a 600 square foot retail space attached to it. And that's what I am currently sitting in because literally it's also the only two windows really in my house. So I have a very deep, like, apartment. But in this room, I just had to do inventory actually to like count and see what things I had. Uh, I have 61 car seats currently in here. Wow. Um, and most of them are on the sliding racks back here. Over here, we have stroller wagons on the wall that you cannot see. I have another shelf of folding and travel strollers. I have another shelf, shelving unit of like modular strollers. Um, and I have I haven't even counted how many strollers I have right now. But this is it's just a lot. It's a lot.
David:So for our listener who maybe doesn't hasn't listened to your episode yet, who who even are you? Why do you why are you a grown ass man with that amount of shit in your apartment? Thanks for bringing it back to the basics. You're right.
SPEAKER_10:Because I am a problem. Um, I so I've been I've been this is my 20th year working in the baby gear industry. And yeah, 20 years ago, I got off the tour of best little whorehouse in Texas. And I I took a job at Bye Bye Baby in Chelsea, and it all just kind of spiraled. So I I now I'm like on every social media platform. I also just took over a friend's YouTube channel, which is a big thing. Um, and I do speaking events all over the place on car seat safety and how to use strollers, how to buy strollers and all of that. And technically I'm a I'm a child passenger safety technician. Like, we have to get certified. Um, but I'm also I'm certified in three countries. Um, and it's just a lot of work.
David:You're also certified gorgeous with those eyes. Can we talk about that? I don't feel like I've noticed your eyes until this, the what whatever. Like, look at those. I know this is an audio platform. This shirt is definitely helping. Like an ocean of eyes I want to swim in. Like, okay, alright. Well, I'm I'm just happy they're not red and tired this morning.
SPEAKER_10:But I'm doing it.
Gavin:No, you're your concealer is definitely doing its job. So uh in line with all of this crazy, your your out of control job that you have, how have things changed since the last time you uh blessed us here at Gatriarch? Has has the industry changed and has your job changed over the last say year?
SPEAKER_10:Over the last year, I wouldn't I mean with with taking over. I mean, you know Ellie Gurak of Magic Beans, you know, formerly Magic Beans, the baby store.
Gavin:Which hey, that shout out to Ellie, shout out to Ellie. I have wanted to get him on this podcast for years now, and we used to be able to contact each other on Instagram, but I don't think we that has that clearly that was not fruitful, because we need you to put him in front of us, please.
SPEAKER_10:Ellie, Ellie is the best, but he has officially left the baby industry. So I have he has given me his YouTube channel, so I will now be taking that platform over. So, in terms of what has really changed for me, um that is that is the biggest. Um, I'm also now the car seat and baby gear field expert for Forbes. Um, so that's like every now and then I have to like check an article and yeah, it's fun, it's fun. Um so that doesn't require a ton of work on my end, which is great because my time is like hella limited. Um and just the speaking events. The speaking events, we have 15 this year. We just did, I think, our fifth for the year, so we're a third of the way through.
Gavin:Um boy, you've got a lot to go.
SPEAKER_06:Oh yeah, dude.
Gavin:Yep.
David:But it's pretty dude, it's great. He just teared up a little bit.
SPEAKER_10:It's but it's it's good. It's all it's all good. I think in terms of my industry right now, the thing, the two things that are the craziest is like obviously the tariff situation of it all, um and what that has done to the industry because it is not good.
David:Uh well, tell us unpack that a little bit for us so we know like what how how has it affected the industry?
SPEAKER_10:Um, so the tariffs, I think a lot of people don't really understand how much of your products across the board, but specifically when we look at baby gear, how much of it is made in China. And this is not something that we can do easily here in the States. It would take years to build factories. It would take years to develop the skill set to produce these items at the volume we need and to have the quality control over it. Like there is a factory in China called Wonderland. Wonderland produces Draco, Nuna, Joy, a lot of Kiko. Like it is a city. It is a giant campus, and they have a massive, massive output. We cannot do that here. And if we did, a lot of people who've crunched the numbers said that it would actually be more expensive to buy American made than it would be even with these tariffs enacted.
SPEAKER_06:Of course, so yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Because it's outrageous, you know? Yeah. So what this has done is brands, it it has increased prices of like major items like strollers, car seats, high chairs, anywhere from like$50 to$250 to$300 higher.
SPEAKER_06:Wow.
SPEAKER_10:And when you have all of a sudden a stroller, like a double travel stroller, is$900. Like that's brutal because baby gear is already expensive. Um and I have my own issues with like what this is gonna do for underserved communities and people who already can't afford stuff and they're buying used products and they're using expired car seats.
Gavin:And it's I was just gonna ask, can you actually double down on that for just a second? If people are wanting to look for used or pre-owned stuff, what can they do and what should they avoid? So it's kind of dicey.
SPEAKER_10:Um, I definitely would not do like used breast pumps, used mattresses. Um, if you are very careful, a used crib, as long as it is not a drop side and you know all the pieces are there and all the parts are functioning and you can go look at it, that's like a judgment call. Same with strollers. Like if you get familiar with the stroller online through a video and can go look at the stroller and you know that like it's functioning and nothing is broken, great. Now, when it comes to car seats, the school of thought and even within my own community is we do not buy used car seats. However, we don't want to do them on like Facebook marketplace. Obviously, don't buy them there. But there are companies like Goodbye Gear, which is a retail outlet on the internet that you sells like gently used and open box car seats, high chairs, all of that. But their car seat sales program, they have a 30-step process that they go through to inspect these car seats. If I was selling a used car seat to them for resale, I would have to sign a legal document stating I was the only owner, bought it new, never been in a crash, cleaned correctly, all of that. Then it goes through this um vetting process. And if it doesn't pass one of those steps, they do not sell it. This process was also built by very respected engineers in the space, manufacturers, and people like me. So it's I if you have to buy a used car seat, that would be the only place I would even be comfortable recommending you do it. But that being said, you can also buy a less expensive new car seat if push comes to shove. Um so it's just it's all it's all crazy right now.
David:Especially because I feel like luckily, I use air quotes because not everybody has friends or family that buy this stuff. These are often like gifted items for first-time parents. But I would agree that like of all the things, if you're gonna barely get money together to buy one thing, like that car seat is your lifeblood, right? Like that is the thing you have to have um to get your kid anywhere. Um, but what I will appreciate is everyone out there who is who has a kid in a car seat or whatever, you have to follow Jamie Grayson because he, I mean, you have to follow him because he he does, he's so valuable. I feel like other than them printing the the information on the side of the car seat, which I very much appreciate, Jamie is your second best resource for like right now, right now. We have a we have a daughter who is clearly ready for the shoulder strap. She's in like the two, like the two-pick harness, and she's so ready. But I'm all we're like, I don't know. And that fucking book that's like 700 pages long, I'm like, I'm not looking in there. But on the side prints, like, here are the weight limits, here's what stage that means, here's the little it like it's printed right there, which I so appreciate. But if you're out there and you have a baby or a kid in a seat, follow Jamie Grayson.
Gavin:Thank you. So moving beyond then even the car seats, um, has there been anything new to hit the market that has piqued your interest in the last, you know, since we spoke?
SPEAKER_10:Um, so we we just had ABC, our industry trade show with like where new stuff comes. Obviously, because of the tariff of it all, a lot of brands could not go um because they are hesitant in where they spend their dollars at the moment. Um but in terms of like fun new products, like this is I even told the guy who invented it, I was like, I would never in a million years, a a diaper caddy to me is not an exciting product. It's not anything like, my god, this is amazing. Right. But there's a company called Keepigo, K-I-P-P-I-G-O, and they just launched in the States, and this is a diaper caddy, like it will hold your diapers, it'll hold your wipes, and then there's a dispenser for like bags to put them in, like a dog bag. But like the quality is excellent, it looks really good, it comes in a few colors, and like that literally was like the best new product I saw at ABC. Just because it was like oh, this is actually nice. This is actually a good product. Um, there were a few oh yeah, very useful, and you can like super easy to clean. Um, there's and also speaking of easy to clean, since we last gathered here on Riverside. Um I I'm also very into high chairs. I'm a giant high chair nerd, and I think both of you will understand this. In high chairs, all of the harnesses are cloth, you know. So food gets on them, they're disgusting, they're really, really, really hard to clean and they suck. But there's a company called Mockingbird, and I want to say about a year and a half, two years ago, they launched their high chair, and it's now picking up a whole lot of steam. But the to aside from like the ergonomic support of the foot plate and everything, and you can adjust it, they made their harness out of silicone so you can wipe it and you can throw it in the top rack of the dishwasher. Oh, so it's awesome. Yeah, listen to that excitement.
David:Uh, listen, I I I am Gavin and I are both not in that world anymore. We don't have high chair kids anymore, but like it was recent that I had one, and that those things are fabric and gross. Oh my god, so fucking gross. I will I did you see at the show any toddler-sized muzzles? Because I'm in the market for one for a certain three-year-old, I know, just checking to see if you have any sort of silence devices for those. You can probably find something like that in Chelsea. Just a puppy play mask. You're like, what is this? You know what? There's there's no judgment here. It's you know what I mean?
Gavin:It's yeah. Uh, can you tell us some bullshit that you saw? You could be generic. Um or as specific as you can, too.
SPEAKER_10:That's fine. I don't know if I saw anything crazy, actually, that was really bad. I have to do that. I feel like there's probably not enough like margin.
David:There's no profit margin for that shit anymore.
SPEAKER_10:I have there is, without getting into it fully, um, because I have to write a fine line here. Um there is a there is a there's a company coming out with an accessory for car seats uh that you should not add to the harness of a car seat at all. Uh they are currently only working with uh one car seat brand, but they're telling everybody they're working with all of these other car seats to get them approved for their car seats when that is not the case. Um and it's gotten to a point where they've been so aggressive online with like me and other CPSTs that I'm like, we're not we're not gonna ever do this or discuss this, period. Like you're you have a fix for like a non-issue, you know?
Gavin:Um but yeah, other than that, like the next thing I want to ask about is um the way people come at you or the way you at them. But do companies ever come at you in a we're gonna get messy in the social media world and they have no idea who they're messing with? Luckily, no.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, nobody thinks so. Not in recent memory, not in recent memory, it hasn't happened. No. Well, I think the only time, the only time that ever really did happen was years back. I did an event in California that was horrible. And I got my check, I get home, I deposit it, and I wrote a post about once the bank, once the cash it was cashed, I wrote a post about how bad the event was. They stopped payment on the check, and I went public about that. Um, and they were like, oh, baby guy, did you lose your check? Did your do you need your mom to hold your hand? We did not stop payment. And I had a screenshot of my bank statement saying they stopped payment. Um, and I blew them, I destroyed them, I completely destroyed them. And this is this is back when I also only had about 12,000 Facebook followers.
David:Like if something like that happened now, oh honey, what you you don't come for a gay man in his 40s. Do you know what I mean? Like you don't do that. There's no reason to do that because any sort of anything you throw at them, they're just it's it's almost like a gift. You're like, oh honey, that's really cute. You stopped payment on this check. I'm going to cause you financial ruin. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:I always I always tell people, like, it's very hard coming for a gay man, specifically a southern one, because I like so many of us were raised on designing women, and we have the spirit of Julia Sugar Baker within us. And like Julia, Julia goes through my body on the daily. You just you don't you don't fuck with us. Oh my god.
Gavin:So is Julia then also your political alter ego that also is not afraid to get real messy in the fucking sandbox that is social media? Uh-huh. Tell us what what how has your political ranting been of late?
SPEAKER_10:Um, I think as because I'm still relatively new on TikTok, and obviously my original account got banned because of things, and then uh as I'm building my new one back, um, people who are just finding me there are not used to how I have always operated on Instagram and Facebook and like how outspoken I am about things. Um, and so on TikTok, they're like, why are you doing this? Car seats aren't political, ma'am. The reason we have car seat laws, it that's actual politics. Policy, yes. Policy, yes. Car seats are very political. Car seat safety is very political. And because of our dumbass president, all of these regulations and standards that we've been trying to pass forever have been put on hold year after year because he pauses regulatory commissions and things.
David:So it's he also I love how people it's always it's all it's it's always it's always the right who is confronted with data who says, can we not get political? That's the only time that phrase is ever fucking spoken. And also the people who say, Oh, well, I just ignore politics or like why do we have to make this political are are either privileged by the current political system so it doesn't affect them, or they don't realize that everything in the world, your fucking hamburger in your hand, to the car seats, to your tax rate, it's all political. What are you fucking talking about? There's no distance between these two things. Yeah, so so people say, Oh, let's not get political. Politics is everything. You're thinking of like, oh, well, the Republicans and the Democrats. No, no, no. What they're to what they are in charge of is the stuff that affects you. So sorry, I I just I get so heated by people who say that kind of shit because it's always in the response to children being murdered by guns or these these tariffs or things that there are affecting you. This is politics, it's policy. Yeah, every single day. Yeah, every single day.
SPEAKER_10:And like you follow, you follow an openly gay man for car seat advice. And like gay, gay.
David:And like gay, gay. Right? You know what I mean? Like gay. We're talking gay gay.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, yeah. Gay, gay, gay, gay gay with the trademark. Brittany Murphy, you know what, dad Peter's gay, gay.
Gavin:Oh, gay gay. Um, do have there been any homophobes who have come after you of late? Um, or is that just a daily occurrence for you to have to beat back the dipshits?
SPEAKER_10:I would say it hasn't really on TikTok. A few people have made some comments and I've sat back pretty hard at them. But it it isn't as bad right now as it has been in the past. Uh because it's like I always say an era.
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_10:I just I I just think like I I don't somebody brought up this point once. I always call it like when I put up a political post or something, it's like weeding the garden. You know, like people who don't align with my views and how I operate, they leave. But I also don't refer to people as weeds. I kind of also hate that. Uh but I like to weed the garden every now and then. So I think I've done that enough to where my people in my community know how I operate and they know like I am a safe space for people like me and other people and an unsafe space. Queer families and all of that. And yeah, I'm a menace to other people.
Gavin:But and and we are here for it. Absolutely. I'm curious, is Facebook still your bread and butter? Is Meta the bread and butter, or where do you get the most traffic? What do you most rely on?
SPEAKER_10:It is it is very hit and miss. Facebook used to be huge for me, and it's still my biggest platform in terms of followers and like all of that. Um, but Facebook has definitely changed over the past probably year and a half. Um, it is it's not as engaged as it once was. Like I used to hit around five to six million people a month organically on Facebook.
Gavin:Damn.
SPEAKER_10:Um, and now if I have like a really good month, it'll be a million, you know. But it's just it's shifting. And like I, you know, if I had my druthers, I don't know if I would post anything on Facebook anymore. Uh, but there's still so many people there who need this information, you know, so it's fine. Um TikTok is TikTok is a very good platform for me. It's a very good one. Um, but now that I'm taking Ellie's YouTube, I plan on doing a lot of live streaming to YouTube, like car seat classes, all of this for free, so that there's no pay barrier, and this education is accessible to anyone at any time, so they can just go on and watch it. Um, and it will live forever. And now, like all the Facebook lives I've ever done over the years, like Meta is now deleting them after 30 days. So, like, all of this content I have created for years on live, gone.
David:So it's just like this is why everyone out there who's listening to the sound of my voice needs to follow you because these things are like this this is really valuable information, which leads me to my uh next question, which is for it, I know this is impossible to do, but for somebody who's about to have a kid, what is one piece of advice you can give them when it comes to baby gear that you see as maybe a mistake that a lot of new parents make, whether it's what they buy or how they install it or whatever? Um, don't buy it just because it's popular.
SPEAKER_10:That's it. Um, I think people see brand names and they don't think about like their lifestyle and what will actually work for them. And they fall into the I'm buying this because my friends have it trapped, or because like an influencer from Utah told me to, you know.
Gavin:Um lots of influencers from Utah these days. There really are.
David:There really are. There really are. And speaking of Bye Bye Baby, by the way, like that was really important for us to get go to, we went to the store and actually touched them and open this because we were looking to buy one of those travel systems, and we wanted to try opening and closing. And we walked in there going, we're gonna get the most expensive one because one of our parents was buying it. And when we tried the most expensive one, and then we tried we happened to try the Kiko travel system, we were like, Oh, this one is so much better. We want this one, and it was like a night and day when you actually opened them and like thought about holding a kid and trying to collapse a stroller with one hand. So, yes, I think that that going for Bye Bye Baby and maybe meeting the future Jamie Grayson there would be so interesting.
Gavin:But you're irreplaceable. Yes. You are unreplaceable. Just like Beyoncé, it is just like so weird.
SPEAKER_10:Um I actually at my event in Columbus uh this weekend, one of the women who was there to work the event came over and she's like, I just need to tell you something. 15 years ago, you helped me pick out a stroller at Bye bye Baby. And I was like, oh, I'm I'm old. And I actually I actually have people, and this has happened a few times. I had a woman at our first event in Dallas this year. She came over, she's like, I A, I want to thank you for coming to Texas. I know a lot of people would not come here right now. And I was like, you know, I I get that, but like kids need to be safe regardless of how their parents operate. And like I am of the mind that like maybe by being exposed to me and how I operate, that can change how people think about the gays. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So I think exposure therapy is important, but then she was like, I also need you to know I've been following you forever and you help me with my baby stuff. This is my daughter, and she's now pregnant with twins. So I'm in the generational moment. Oh, you're a generational moment.
David:You are having a grandpa moment, honey. Oh maybe auntie mame. Maybe you're you're moving into your auntie mame era. The gay gasp that just happened over there.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, I do. I I need like a young Patrick. To like make cocktails in my living room or something.
Gavin:We're not gonna dwell on that for too long. So where are we gonna be able to see you over the next six months?
SPEAKER_10:Um over the next six months, I will be on the road a lot. Um it's all, you know, my Instagram, it's pinned at the top if you want to come hang. Um what's in what's interesting is we do a lot of these events are actually in people got mad at me actually because I got mouthy about car seat. I actually did a fascinating breakdown recently of car seat misuse in red states versus blue states. Oh yes, I did see that. And people are like, well, if you if you are, you know, so dedicated to car seat safety, why aren't you doing the work in red states? I went through the map of all of my events. Most of the states that we go to are at least this last presidential voting period that may or may not have been rigged. Um you know, it's um they're all red for there's a lot of them are red states. Now they are more blue leading areas in these red states, but I'm still doing the work in places that may not like me. And that I think that's what matters. Um so they're not gonna keep me quiet.
David:I don't think anybody can. Let's be honest. No, it's impossible.
Gavin:Even that muzzle that David is gonna get for his daughter would not actually keep you quiet.
David:No, it was just a three-year-old. It could have been any three-year-old. I didn't say it was my daughter, I'm just saying it could have been any three-year-old that I personally have to deal with every day. Just theoretical. You can do the mouth tape that the people use at night for snoring, yes. Honey, this is just for snoring. And she's like, but I'm trying to eat dinner. I'm like, sorry, babe. Yeah. Sorry.
Gavin:All right, JB, please tell us, uh, tell us just about since David and I are both living our old married lives. Give us a little taste of mint julep stories of late. Have you been on any fascinating dates that you can share with us?
SPEAKER_10:Um, I can talk about being ghosted. Yes. A ghosting phenomenon. Spill. Like unreal. There was a guy, because again, I'm not home a whole lot right now, so like dating is kind of what I was talking with this, I was talking with this guy online, and he was at like going to eat at one of my favorite restaurants here in Denver, King of Wings Tap House. You are getting a shout out. Okay. So he was going to have some chicken tenders, and he sent me a photo of like great choice, you know, whatever. And he's like, so I'm about to finish up here. I will like come, you know, I'll meet you outside your apartment, and we can like walk over to Occidental or like Lady J in these two bars by my apartment. And I was like, great. See you in like 10 minutes when you get here. Five minutes later, he blocked me. Oh, geez. And just like never showed up. And I'm like, cool, cool, cool. And like, I'm one of these people, I do not give my phone numbers out on the apps. I will not do it. I don't until we're like a couple dates in. And like, yeah, I also don't really tell people what I do until I'm a couple dates in. Um because it is a it it is a lot. Um it's a lot to deal with. Um so yeah, there no, no real dating drama. That sucks.
David:Which is why that story is so wild too, because it's not like you guys had a date and this guy was trying to be nice to you, but he was like, I'm not really into you. I don't know how to tell you to block you. You guys were you hadn't even gotten there. You guys were like, Yeah, good conversation, I'll meet you there. And it wasn't even like he could have easily, if he was like not into it, just been like, hey, something came up, blah, blah, blah, blah. But just a block before you even met. Yeah. Uh-huh. Wow. That's that's great. And way hard. Way harsh, Ty. Way harsh.
SPEAKER_10:Way harsh. Um, I did, I did pull something out to show the both of you, uh, because I knew what company I was going to be in.
David:Oh, we are since we're only shoulder up when hot men pull things out. Go ahead. Yes.
SPEAKER_10:This is this is something I've been trying to find for a very long time. And I was able to find it right before I left town. So I ordered it, and it was waiting at my door when I arrived uh last night, and I present to you the vinyl of the original Broadway cast of chess.
Gavin:And that is priceless right there. I know, I know. Have you even taken it out?
SPEAKER_10:And listen to it. I take I took it out to look at it, and it's like a beautiful, like it opens like a book. The vinyl's in, it's in it was in like collectible condition. So it was not cheap, but chess is I love chess to death, and I have thoughts about this revival coming. Um I love Judy Kuhn. Like, right, you've got to have Judy Kuhn on vinyl. Um the revival of chess. I'm very excited for the two guys. Um, and I think Leah will sing it well. And it's I I want it to be weird. Like that was just no, listen, I I Leah dated my roommate. I I knew Leah back in the Spring Awakening days. Um there's a lot of information I could share, but I won't for the public. Sure. Um we can't wait. She patriarchs afterwards. I will say the the one good thing, the one good thing Leah so Leah would leave Spring Awakening and she would get tins of food from Carmines and come to my house, and we would eat Carmines and cry and watch the biggest loser.
David:Uh, that sounds like a nice evening to me. It does great.
SPEAKER_10:It was great. She she for my birthday one year, or maybe it was Christmas, Liza had come to see Spring Awakening, and she tried, she knew I loved Liza Minelli, so she tried to get Liza to call me. It was my birthday. She tried to get Liza to call me and sing Happy Birthday, but Liza was out of the country. So Liza went back to Spring Awakening and took like one of her old headshots and autographed it for me, like happy birthday. No, so I got that. Um that's very great. Wow. It's not all bad.
Gavin:Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um well speaking of not all bad, you Jamie. You're the best. We fucking love you here.
David:You're one of our original listeners. We love you.
Gavin:You are, Jamie.
David:Yeah.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah. Yeah. Which I think the last, I still need to catch up just because I've been pride. I think the last episode I listened to with y'all was uh Steven Arenas.
Gavin:Oh, yeah. Funny that you bring that up because we you will soon be able to listen to Steven's husband. Yes, actually. Oh, and I get the other side of the story. Yeah, and by soon to be that will have been last week, which you've already listened to by the grave. We've already clearly listened to.
SPEAKER_10:You know what? I almost I almost texted you because as a three-peater on here, I feel it is my right and duty to finally give my thoughts on one of the top three lists. Okay. I don't I don't know what it is for this episode, so I have no clue.
Gavin:Neither do we. And we know if it's my week, I didn't know. And if it's David's week, I don't know.
David:No, we want, we want, we want our listener to reach out and give us ideas. So do you have thoughts on what you want a top three list to be?
SPEAKER_10:No, I want to give my top three.
Gavin:Oh, damn it. You know what, David? At some point we did say we're gonna try to bring the guest in on their top three.
David:How about this? How about this, Jamie? We will come up with a top three list and we will record it with you separately, and we will make it the playout of this episode. So we will do a special top three episode, top three list with you for this episode, and we were gonna do another recording, and then we will do it at the end of this episode because you deserve to be a part of a top three list. Top three, a top three. That's great.
Gavin:I love a good list. I love a verse three. Jamie, thank you. We love you very much for demeaning yourself by being on our stupid little podcast a third time. Thank you.
SPEAKER_10:It's like the holy trinity.
Gavin:So something great for me just uh came out last night, which is my kids and I were watching a new show. Um it might be a new show, I don't know, a TV show on um National Geographic uh voiced by Ryan Reynolds, and it's called the um underdogs, and it is all about animals. It's it's a Nat Geo almost comedy on ugly, weird, disgusting animals. And for instance, we watched an episode last night where a fish crawls into basically the butthole, I knew I would get you on that, of a sea cucumber to hide from predators, and it just gets into it. Now it's kind of like it's kind of um, it's not as exciting as other Nat Geos, but also what is so fantastic, and what had me laughing out loud is not just the fact that they showed a hippo basically spray diarrhea with its tail whipping around like a helicopter to spray poop all over its, I don't know, people coming towards it, not that anybody approaches a hippopotamus from behind, but it's Ryan Reynolds's commentary on the back end is very adult and he shit talks his kids even then. And you know, Ryan is famous for talking shit about his kids. Yeah, can't wait to have you as a guest, Ryan. But he has little snippets that he throws in for like, and this cuttlefish who uh is trying to do its best feeding its ungrateful little wretch of children, it's really funny. So I would go find the underdogs on uh National Geographic as soon as you can. It's really funny.
David:That was really that sounds great. I that actually sounds right up my alley. I love that shit. Okay, so my something great is slightly of a two-parter, and it's a little bit kiss-assy, and it's a little bit unfair, okay, but I have to do it. Oh, first of all, my first part of my something great was I got to meet your son and his friend, and they were fucking great. Your son was so kind to my kid. My kid is very shy and very fragile or whatever, and he was so kind, he was so cool to all the other kids. He was great to me. He was respectful, but he was like still having fun and being boy, like the both of both of those kids, your son and then his friend, were just like the kindest, coolest kids. And that's part of my something great. And I will never stop.
Gavin:Do you think their kindness also do you think their kindness also came from the amount of helium they were sucking directly out of the helium tank that you brought?
David:So these are two preteen boys who were like, oh, there's a helium tank unguarded. They were literally like mouth to tank, but sucking for for for like an hour. And at some point we were like, guys, I at one point I was like, what's your name? And he was like, I was like, okay, good. I just want to make sure because you're fucking showed up. But they were having so much. So many brain cells.
Gavin:Yeah, they were having so much. And we also now don't have any helium for the balloons anymore.
David:So but they were really sweet with like the sharing the soccer ball with all the other kids. I think so they they were good. So that's part of my something great. And the other part of my something great, this is so unfair, but I have to say it, listener, it's you. Yeah. Uh I I jokingly say I can't believe anybody listens to this podcast. But when I meet people in public who are like, oh no, I listen to the show and it's either really helpful or I I love it or whatever, it is very reassuring because Gabe and I work really hard at this, surprisingly, which at the quality we're at. But also, like, you know, we talk kind of into the void. So when we don't, when we hear from you, it's kind of like a reminder, like, oh yeah, people listen to the show and they enjoy it. And so we just want to thank you for actually listening to the show and enjoying it and giving us suggestions and and and making t-shirts and all the like wonderful things that you all did. And uh, because it does, it makes it all worth it. And Gavin and I at some point kind of looked at each other, we're like, I can't believe people are here. I can't believe it. It's just so fun. So yeah, thank you, listener out there. I will never be the sincere ever again. I refuse. Next episode will be all dick jokes all the time.
Gavin:And that you are such a tease. You're always you're always offering all dick jokes, and we have yet you have yet to deliver on that. That's disappointment. Our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com.
David:Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast on the internet. David is at DavidFm VaughnEverywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge on Did you know that we actually got in trouble with the park police? They came up to us and said we don't have a permit to have these helium tanks.
Gavin:And boy, did we know it. Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcast.
David:Thanks, and we will listen with you next time on another episode of Gatriarchs. Okay, so we are in our bonus zone. This is our bonus zone, and I promised you when we recorded with uh Jamie that we would come back and we would give him his very own top three list. And he is here, and this is a week later, and we are so excited to have him here. So, Jamie, we have a top three list for you, but we want to ask you, because you are our guest, would you like to go first, second, or third? I will go third. Top, middle, or bottom. Oh, okay. She wants to, she wants to be the the the caboose. Uh, and we knew that. Everyone knew that. Um, but that's how we'll go. Okay, so the top three lists we came up with for you in honor of you, inspired by you, is what are the top three sexiest drinks? Okay. Gavin, do you want to go first on this one?
Gavin:Yeah, I'm definitely ready with this. Okay. For me, number three is anything with gin. Because I feel like a gin cocktail just connotes like, I'm a daddy, I'm in control, I have a bank account, I'm sophisticated, and I know what um smooth jazz is and why we should always avoid smooth jazz. So I feel like number three for me is anything gin-based. Number two, okay, old-fashioned. I mean, I guess I'm kind of sticking with these daddy vibes because an old-fashioned is like you know how to smoke a cigar. Uh-huh. Just kidding. Whatever, read whatever that you want into that, or that you have traveled, or that you have read a book in the last year, that kind of thing. So for me, an old-fashioned. But then number one, just a vodka martini up and dirty. That to me is just like the height of sophistication. So I suppose all of my prioritization of drinks here, sexy drinks, is about sophistication, of which I usually do not actually partake because I might have been on Governor's Island just yesterday support um celebrating pride, and I had both Bloody Mary Mix and a bottle of vodka in my backpack and was just mixing them in a solo cup as I rode around Governor's Island.
David:So David, you literally did that at the Gatriarch's meetup. You were literally serving drinks in a public park with no, with absolutely no legal uh uh ramifications except for the guy to come up to us. Anyway, yeah, so we know that you'll you'll sling a drink out of your bag. Um, we're gonna we have some crossover. I have a feeling we might have crossover on all of our lists, but I realized as I was doing my list that my drinks aren't inherently sexy, but they are peak sexy in the situation I'm about to describe. So, number three for me, a bloody Mary at brunch after a trist with a bicurious man. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Like a bicurious kind of jockey bro, and you're having brunch the next morning and he's a little stunned. Do you know what I mean? He's like a little speechless, but he orders a bloody Mary, and to me, that is very sexy. Oh Lord.
SPEAKER_10:Oh no, I'm I'm red.
unknown:Oh no.
David:Um, number two is champagne when it's just the two of you. I think champagne can be sexy in public and like you know, New Year's Eve, but when it's just you and the other person alone wherever you are, ooh, champagne. Uh and number one, this is our crossover, Gavin. An old-fashioned or a Manhattan with an older man who orders it neat. Oh, yes. That is that is number one for me. All right, Jamie, hit us. What are your top three sexiest drinks?
SPEAKER_10:I know you're probably going to expect me to say a mentjula. Um, and that's not going to happen. Okay. Um, some of my drink choices were taken. Alrighty. So I'm gonna say one sexy drink is just a cold Dr. Pepper. Like sometimes you just need like a good fountain soda. Oh, and a Dr. Pepper gets right every single time. With a fat McDonald's straw. Yes, the oversized McDonald's straw. I wish I had a fountain Dr. Pepper right now to help me in my day after pride time of need. Um, and I do not. I need a Dr. Pepper desperately at this moment. Um two, I would say water. Water, hydration is sexy. Okay, we love it. We love staying hydrated. Okay. If you don't drink enough water, the drinks hit harder, especially at elevation. And you get a little messy. So it hits 87 vodka sodas yesterday. Um, so that was bad. And I would say my other favorite sexiest drink is anything you get in one of those sippy cups in a Broadway show. Because it's it's much better merch than getting like a t-shirt. I collect all my Broadway sippies. I don't get a drink if it's one of those generic Niederlander cups, though.
Gavin:I need a picture.
SPEAKER_10:Yeah, I'm gonna go.
David:It's gotta say Death becomes her, it's gotta be purple, and it's gotta be a$27 triple. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10:If my$47 double whiskey ginger better be sexy, but just as a PSA, I don't care. You're gonna drink it with a straw because I don't need to hear your ice while I'm at the show. Yes. You've got you've gotta have a straw in that cup. I don't care if it's paper and it dissolves halfway through act one, you're gonna use that straw, and then you're gonna take that cup home and unnecessarily fill your cabinet with them, like I have. And then that's what your friends drink out of when they're at your house.
David:Oh my god, that is fantastic. That is so I gotta say, three very different lists, guys. We really made it hard. Three very different lists.
SPEAKER_10:Oh, and Jamie, thank you for being old fashioned. Old fashion was very high on my list, but like no.
Gavin:Yeah, yeah, no, crossover is okay. And Dr. Pepper definitely uh edged out old fashioned, which is hilarious. I am so glad that we took it in such completely different uh directions. And Jamie, thanks for being our our virgin uh top three list uh contributor. I think that we'll be doing this again. I love a good top three list, so and I love a good top.
unknown:Hey!
