The one with Just the two of us

This week, Gavin is relatable, David meets his first neighbord, we do a dueling "What would you do?," we have a secret DILF of the week, and we rank the top 3 ways we'd start over our lives if we didn't have kids.

Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast

Transcript

David: 0:00

And I feel like we've learned some stuff. We've had 120 pretty incredible guests, and we've learned a lot of things. And so I want to go back to what are your top three rock solid parenting advice? What are your top three pieces of what are your top three pieces of parenting advantage? Sorry, do you not? I hate you. I hate that. I can see you making this into a cold open, and I hate you for it. Oh, and this is Gatorgs. David, how are you? Wildly overwhelmed and barely holding on. How about you?

Gavin: 0:50

That's damn, that was gonna be my answer. That was gonna be my answer. Um, listen to my crazy ass day that is gonna be the excuse for you being like, why the hell didn't we record today like we were said we were going to? Which is that because I didn't think that we were actually actually gonna record yesterday or today or whatever, we realized that school is just around the corner. And my partner and I were like, okay, we have one day that nobody has anything, so let's just like go make it a day. And so we were in New York City, uh, staying at our apartment that is frankly on the market. Hey, anybody out there want an apartment? And we were sleeping on the floor, blah, blah, blah. I had a quick meeting this morning, so really I was cheating, but I did it. And my partner calls me in the middle of the meeting in a frantic rage. And I'm like, and he calls three times and I'm like, um, excuse me, Miss Fundraising Consultant. I need to put the apparently answer this phone call. He calls that our water, our hot water boiler, or whatever it's called, has burst on the second floor of our house in Connecticut. And I need to get in the car now and drive back and truncate this little summer staycation to come home and see that our um kitchen ceiling has to be replaced. And so I am fresh out of the car driving up through the traffic, being like, this is my vacation, is now so tell me, David, please tell me that house insurance means that if you have a a ceiling that needs to be replaced, that that automatically translates into the entire house needs to be gutted magically. And so now we will have a new house.

David: 2:29

Well, I first want to point out that, like, what a relatable story for everyone to hear about which one of your multiple houses you own is having which issue, and your vacation was ruined by the other house that you owned. So I just like it's just fun for our listener to really feel like you're a common man, really, is what you are. Um, but uh no, uh, in my experience, literally no insurance has ever paid anything for anything. And that is just your cross to bear. Honestly, I have I've tried to make two claims in my life because actual damage happened by actual things. And both times they're like, oh, actually, like when we had water from Hurricane Ida, they were like, Well, the water has to be coming in through the windows carried by the rain. Oh, sorry, carried by the wind. And I said, Wait, wait, what? We don't we don't have flood protection? Oh, you have flood protection. That's just the water has to be specifically put into your house through an open window by the wind. Wait, what was your damage? Our basement filled with water, our basement filled with water because of a hurricane. So come on. Yeah, no, not at untrusted. So um I'm just really excited to open this episode with like really relatable material about just like everyday things. Um, but yes, it is it is also it is the beginning of the school year, as you know, and we at Patriarchs are always very prepared. We're always ready. We are so ready.

Gavin: 3:55

If we are nothing else, we we admit that we are hypocrites entirely, um, but we are not prepared. So we're hypocritically unprepared, right?

David: 4:05

And we, you know, last year we had a back to school episode. We had this teacher come on, we were all pre like our top three list was thematically working in. Now we're discussing taking a hiatus. We don't even know what's going on in our lives. So that brings us that that long-winded way to get here is basically us saying, Hey, we need a break. And we're taking a two-week break from our favorite listener to just give us a little bit of time. I am moving. We are all all of our kids are starting school. It's a little chaotic right now. And the the millions of dollars we make on this podcast is not quite enough for me to do it full-time. But but we're not even millions of pennies.

Gavin: 4:41

If it were millions of pennies, I wouldn't be worried about replacing my kitchen ceiling now, apparently with the insurance claim that's not gonna cover anything that you've dispersed my bubble about.

David: 4:51

It's never gonna, they're never gonna pay anything. But um, so we are not leaving you. We are not going by weekly. We know you'll scream at us if we do, but we have to be. You are anti-by, everybody listener out there. Um, and so we're gonna take a two-week break, uh, and then we'll come back and we'll be bringing you the same trite bullshit uh we've been doing every week. But we have a great guest um on our comeback uh episode, and we're really excited. So thank you all for giving us a little bit of space to breathe. I'm sure you all need it too. Like, aren't you tired of hearing Gabe and you must be so tired of David?

Gavin: 5:20

Just that I mean, just the dry wit itself just gets so old. Just dried, just like your soul, all right?

David: 5:32

Or that. So, an update on the school thing. I think I told you last episode of the episode before that we were moving in across the street from an elementary school. We were all excited, and the town was like, You're not that school is full, you're not going. And I was like, Oh, you've never met me. Um, well, I fucking fired off so many goddamn email emails threatening this, threatening that, giving you gay, gay tears, all kinds of stuff. The next morning, I get an email from the principal that says, We have a space for your son at us. Alrighty. So that to be said, be an annoying, loud homosexual, and you'll get your way, is really the lesson I've learned here.

Gavin: 6:15

Do you think six people who were on the waiting list in front of you who really needed the help more than you with your two homes were kicked off the list? And do you care at all?

David: 6:25

No, zero. I I consider other people in my decision making never. So I had a friend in town, and the experience with her and her daughter was really funny because it made me realize something that we talk about sometimes, but but I want to bring up on the podcast, which is the idea that you and I have this conversation all the time. We're like, you have a 13-year-old, and I have a three and six-year-old, and it's you know, what's harder? And oh, I remember it like this, and I I think it's gonna be this way when my kids are 13 and all how we're all wrong all the time. Well, I had a friend with a 13-year-old daughter stay with us a couple days, and she was like boots on the ground with my three and six year old, and I was boots on the ground around her 13-year-old. And guys, I'm here to tell you it's something on the other side. It gets worse. It gets worse. Well, it gets worse, but also my friend was like, Oh yeah, I forgot how hard this was. Like, I without me, like your memory of it is we know we we talk about this all the time, is is ruined. Like, you cannot remember as a parent the times in the past correctly, but when she was around my kids, it was so fun to watch her. Like within 10 seconds, she was snapping at my kids for like, I've already said that like it was so fun to watch. It was so fun to watch because I was like, see, you don't remember it. And also, me being me in my head, I'm like, my kids are not gonna be like that when they're 13. Yes, they will. Yes, yes, they will.

Gavin: 7:50

They'll be worse.

David: 7:50

They will be worse.

Gavin: 7:55

Your karma, the karma you have created also for your parenting. I mean, just by sheer fact that you have a podcast where you complain about your children, you are fucked, my friend. So far.

David: 8:06

I love when the podcast is talked about negatively, it's my podcast. It is but when it's a great podcast, it is our podcast.

Gavin: 8:12

I mean, don't you and Brian do exactly that about your own children? Like when your son, when Emmett is being perfect, he's yours, but when he's an asshole, he's Brian's, right? 100%. It is we do it. Yeah, and it that's it brings another level in gay parenting when often in some cases, certain uh, and I bet frequently with those who have done surrogacy and you have two children, basically one is the biological father and the other is not. And so that just that amps up that rivalry tenfold, doesn't it?

David: 8:41

I like saying, what's wrong with your DNA over there? Yeah, um that's a fun one. Um 100%.

Gavin: 8:46

But I love that I love that you were able to witness that. That yeah, 13-year-olds, teens, and yeah, it just gets worse. It all just gets worse.

David: 8:53

Because you we hear each other complain either on this podcast or with our friends or whatever about the your the your friends' kids and in your brain, we all do this. We all go, yeah, but I could I could parent that better. I could I could do that better, or my kid was never like that. Yes, they were, and no, you can't, is the answer to that. Um Gabin, I know I'm steamrolling this episode, but when I logged in and opened the outline and I saw that the the date, the air date hadn't even changed, I knew you hadn't even touched this document. So I'm just gonna keep going. So Gaben, I have But I have something for you too. I have a what would you do?

Gavin: 9:28

Wait, you do? Because I have one. I guess we're gonna have to we're gonna have to wait for this. I have it written out on my notes. We have everything.

David: 9:36

Oh my god, we have competing.

Gavin: 9:38

A double, ready? It's a duet. Ready?

David: 9:40

Yes, it's a what would you do do that was good. That was it was a susphore harmonic susphore. Okay, so I'll go first. So mine is so in the process of moving, um, we are buying a house that has been it's it's been sitting around for a very long time and it's very kind of dirty. So we're cleaning it, we're doing a bunch of things. Well, I hired a like a carpet cleaning company, like Steam Clean them, because like there's the smell of dead people in it. And the guy showed up and um seemingly nice, him, I think as his wife or whatever, and you know, just give me the cloud. I don't really talk to them much. And then towards the end, I'm like talking to the guy a lot, and he's kind of giving me a lot of bro energy, and I'm just like, okay, move it along, partner. Let's just let's just get this done. And he's telling me this stupid story about his friend who cleaned carpets for Whoopi Goldberg, and I'm just like, I don't care. And in his conversation, he's like, Yeah, and then my friend was like, Hey, I can, I can uh um I can make it so like she's in the other room. Do you want to meet her? And I said, Hell no. And next time if I come here, I'm bringing my MAGA hat. And I suddenly realized my carpet cleaning guy is MAGA. Uh-huh. Now, for context, they are about eight minutes away from being done with this job. Oh. Gavin. After finding out your carpet guy, who's currently cleaning your carpets, yeah, is MAGA.

SPEAKER_00: 11:02

What would you do?

David: 11:07

Okay, he's eight minutes away. How much have you paid already? I've paid nothing, but I'm I am owed, I owe him for this job he's doing. Yeah.

Gavin: 11:15

Is there an opportunity to I mean, maybe a Yelp review? I don't know. Has he done a good job?

David: 11:22

Yeah, that's the problem. Listen, okay. Yeah, that's that's why it's that's why it's complicated. Because my first instinct was to throw him out of my house. If I had found that out before he took a stepfoot in my house, I would have just canceled it right there and been like, I won't allow MAGA people in my house.

Gavin: 11:35

You know what? I think this is an opportunity for for you to go high. I know that is completely not in your vocabulary whatsoever. There you are, shaking your head. Hell no, Michelle Obama, hell to the no.

David: 11:47

When they when they go low, we go low. We go subterranean. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

Gavin: 11:52

Um, you meet bottom with bottom. Yes. I get it entirely.

David: 11:55

Just donut bumping for death.

Gavin: 11:57

I think this might be here's my challenge to you. And what I would do is he virtue signaled to you. So when you write that check that he has his hand, his grubby little hand out. No, no, listen. His hand out because he did hard work for you. You can find a way to virtue signal back to him and let him know that he just had a human interaction with somebody whose rights are are potentially being taken away by what he voted for. You can talk about your immigrant husband.

David: 12:28

You can talk about your California.

Gavin: 12:32

You can talk about your it, he doesn't know that. Oh, you're right. Carpet cleaner dude doesn't know that you are not married to an to a so-called illegal immigrant who has come to do the Lord's work, etc. You can talk about your two double trans kids and how they are so much.

David: 12:48

Wait, doesn't that just equal to a sex gendered? Sure. Like is it like negative positive?

Gavin: 12:52

It doesn't even matter. Doesn't even matter, but you can just let him know that he, you are so appreciative to him for improving your life by taking the dead person smell out of the house where you can all thrive as a family. And I am indebted to you. And thank you. I just hope that the big beautiful bill doesn't put you out of business so that you can't afford anything for the rest of your life.

David: 13:15

But Hillary Clinton is gonna love these new carpets. Yes, he's coming over later.

Gavin: 13:20

I but I am a hundred percent serious. You might even be able to say, listen, I haven't had any interaction with anybody with a MAGA hat, but now I see that you don't have horns sticking out of your head. And so thank you for helping improve my life. No doubt. He didn't forget. I think there's a way you might as well play with it. And he fucking virtue signaled to you so you can slap back 10 times. So please do that and come back and tell us how it.

David: 13:45

Okay, so how did it end? I froze because I will I was shocked because I I had seen no symptoms, I had seen no signs. I had symptoms. I had seen no symptoms of the Trump uh syndrome. So I was a little in shock. Um, I did uh have uh my uh he was gonna come next week to um clean our couch because my kids have thrown up all over it and shit all over. And I'm like, why don't we clean it? I did cancel that. Um, but uh but yeah, but next time I think I will do something like that. I'm like, thank you so much. My my immigrant trans uh Hillary Clinton family is gonna love these things.

Gavin: 14:20

Bye. But I think that here's where you go, hi, sorry, just do it. Is see, you gotta do something that so that he walks away. Listen, we are here to make the world a better place with our podcast, right? It's all very clear. And your charge now is to make the world a better place by letting that guy walk away and be like, huh, that guy wasn't so bad. Then they go, then again, MAGA doesn't necessarily mean homophobic, you know. I mean, a lot of MAGA people are just like, don't make me pay taxes and that kind of shit.

David: 14:50

And so they're gonna make me dumb. So I I would agree that they're not all homophobic, but I'd say they're all dumb. They're all very dumb.

Gavin: 14:57

Please report back, but you've got to have an alter, uh, not an altercation and an interaction with this guy on a political level, okay?

David: 15:04

Trust me, I am so ready at all times to make a scene, like a real scene. My my poor husband is always like, please don't make a scene. Please don't make a scene. Um, luckily, this guy caught me in the last five minutes of his job, and I was just running the numbers in my head, and I'm like, get him out of here. There's no way you can pull this job from him now. You have to pay him. He did a good job. Like, just be done with it. Um change his life, okay? Yeah. Change his life. All right, Gavin, your turn. What would you do for you?

Gavin: 15:30

This comes from Listener, actually. Listener reached out to me. Right. And he has um an actual what would you do that he would like to pose. Love it. And I we live in a very small town. And listener, I don't know if you knew that listener lives in my town. So um, we'll see who's listening to this and who isn't, okay? Uh, my daughter and her friends decided that they wanted to go to the fair on Saturday. Big deal in town. We have a the cutest little small town fair of all time with all the fair, you know, hooligans that you can imagine from New England. So uh they wanted to go to the fair on Sunday on Saturday morning, come back to our house for a just playtime, and then return to the fair at night, after which they would have a sleepover here. So we agree, and three friends get dropped off at our house Saturday morning. None of the parents mentioned money. And so we end up buying all three kids bracelets. To make it worse, bracelets meaning access to all the rides, right? To make it worse, the fair has a morning bracelet and an evening bracelet, each priced at$35. So in addition to the$140 we spent on our own kids, we spent another$210 on the friends. It wasn't a birthday or anything. The kids made the plan together. Seems like kind of a lot to float, especially since I was essentially babysitting their kids for the day. Now in the text, there's this little music sign, music notes, and it says, I believe this is how this one would be um interpreted is what would you do um and more music notes. Um by the way, parentheses, we just sucked it up. My guess is the parents gave the kids money, but the kids didn't know they were supposed to buy tickets with it. And yes, you are reading that correctly. I spent$350 plus adult admission to the local end of summer fair.

SPEAKER_00: 17:23

So, David, what would you do? What would you do?

David: 17:32

Gavin, you have gotten so bad at singing. What would you do? It's so bad that just that time was kind of good. It was kind of beautiful, that last one.

Gavin: 17:42

I am a fragile old man. Why would you kick me when I'm you have lost the plot. You've lost the plot.

David: 17:51

You just took 20 minutes to read three sentences because of all the context you had to provide. Okay.

Gavin: 17:56

That was word for word. There was no context.

David: 17:59

So, what would I do? Um, so uh, listener, thank you for reaching out. Um, second of all, here's the problem. You're not letting your kids fail. First of all, the buying of the first bracelets, I I I'm slightly uh disagreeing with that, but you know, you did a nice thing. That's really great. The buying the second bracelets? Absolutely not. Here's what you say hey guys, if you want to go, you buy the bracelets and call your parents. We all have phones, right? So if these kids accidentally got dropped off without any money, there are phones to call our parents or to receive digital money. So, what would I do? I would say, Hi friends, I'm gonna buy you all tickets because I think you guys are wonderful and I love my friends, and this is what a great little thing. If you want to go later, that's on you, right? Haven't you ever been like, haven't you ever had like a parent friend be generous to you halfway where they're like, I'm gonna buy this, but if you guys want this, that's gonna be on you, and it still feels generous, doesn't feel shitty. So, what would I do? Yeah, I would make them pay for the second bracelet.

Gavin: 19:00

Yeah, I I don't think it's too much to be able to just say to the parents, hey, BT dubs, going back tonight, super fun, happy to have covered this morning for 35 bucks, but you know, the I it would be great if you could help out. No, the kids should do that.

David: 19:15

What if the parent have anything the kids parents should do? I don't know, they're fourth graders, hey, have fun at the fair. Also, what if uh go to the fair and if you don't have a bracelet, then you don't get to go on the rides and then you go make out behind the Ferris wheel or whatever. Yeah, like you know what I mean? Like why do we have to make sure that everyone is covered all the time? Like that like if they're teens, I think they said they were teens in this in this uh No, no, no, they're all fourth graders.

Gavin: 19:38

These are small kids, these are not Wait, they're by themselves at a fair. Welcome to rural Connecticut, yeah. Oh it's pretty awesome. Wow, okay.

David: 19:48

Yeah, they get to run rocks. Go to rural Connecticut, they're everywhere. And they don't have money, so you can just grab 'em. This is where I

Gavin: 20:00

I would what would I do? Uh uh this is where I would probably suck it up and be like, hey y'all, glad your kids. It was so fun having your kids over last weekend. The fair is just the best. BT dubs, that cost a couple of hundred dollars. Could you just Venmo me, please? No. And that's not that's not that would let me go to sleep.

David: 20:17

No, that's it. You just you just tell the kids if you want to get a ticket, you have to ask your parents for a money.

Gavin: 20:22

This is after the fact, dude. All it's all done. It's all done. Oh, the well, I think.

David: 20:26

So do you go back after would you buy the second bracelet for the kids?

Gavin: 20:30

Oh, would uh no no, you're right. I would have preemptively done that. I would have not I'm with you entirely. I would have said, hey, hey, kiddos, you got a spring for this. Now, after the fact, would you chase that money? I would. No. I think that's tacky. Well, I think you're tacky. Just have to suck it. I'm kidding. It'll be your tacky. I think you're wonderful. Um, you know what is you know what's also tacky? What? Our top three of the week.

David: 20:54

We have two other things to talk about. Look at the outline. Okay. Okay. Um well, let's speak of failure, I want to talk about parenting because I'm really bad at it. And I know I'm bad at it because my TikTok algorithm is constantly forcing me these like, here's how to be a better parent videos. Um, and I there's one that keeps coming up, and I kept saying, Shut up, I don't want to do that. It's so annoying. And then I did it and it worked, Gavin. Oh, it did? Oh, it worked. And I'm so annoyed because uh it sounds you're gonna, I'm gonna tell you this hack and you're gonna go, duh. But when I tell you that like my body cringes thinking of having to do this when my kids are being fucking assholes, I cannot explain it to you. So it's the idea of like when your kids are not wanting to do anything, right? I don't want to put on my, I don't want to eat, I don't want to go to bath, I don't want to go to school, is that you just make it into an adventurous game, which I know you've heard and it sounds so obvious.

Gavin: 21:51

But yeah, and it is so patronizing to be told, you know what? If you just made it a little fun, I know.

David: 21:57

And it just and in the moment when my kid is screaming and bucking her legs because she won't go to sleep, the idea of me being like, let's go on a magical adventure together. It feels I I'm I'm like literally goosebumps right now because I want to punch my hand through a wall. But I have been making a conscious effort because bedtimes are trash at our house. They're it's just my daughter just really struggles to not go to bed without screaming for 30 minutes. And so I was like, I'm going to make a conscious effort this week of every time I am having to put her to bed. I'm going every time I can feel those embers starting to warm, go, hey, let's have an adventure. Let's run in there and let's brush our teeth as fast as we can so the monster doesn't get us or whatever it is. And it works, it fucking works. And I so you really do just yeah, you just need to make it a little fun. Even when you're feeling the most unfun ever. Um, so make it a game. Um, just like uh parenting is a game. Gavin, I wrote a little note for you. Do you have a real dilf of the week?

Gavin: 22:58

David, you're lucky that I'm even looking you in the eye through this Zoom screen right now. So, do I have anything? Did I just write down my top three on my piece of paper right now? Yes. So, do I have a DILF of the week? Actually, I always do, but it seems like you're finally wanting to contribute your half of this um uh podcast.

David: 23:19

So please tell us who your podcast episode. Episode 120 has been the David episode. Um, so I have a I have a secret dilf of the week because I because he's a real person and I don't want him to know about this because I'm embarrassed. But he is my dilf of the week. And that is my contractor. So we are doing some work at our new house, and he this contractor is somebody we hired to do our our kitchen, but I I'm constantly reminded, I don't think about him when he's not in front of me, but when he's in front of me, I'm like, you're uncomfortably attractive. Like my husband when I were talking about his pores, like he's got these microscopic pores and this glowing skin and these like piercing gray eyes and this like body yada yaddy, and he looks you right in the eyes and he's funny. And like, I'm leaving my husband for him. For the contractor who's straight and married. Do we can we um share a sus picture of him on I'll share you a private photo of him, but I won't because I don't want the world to know who he is and then you wanted to keep it. Why are you talking about me on your stupid podcast? He's your special little dilf to yourself. He's my special little dilf, and he is beautiful. So, secret contractor, you're my dilf of the week. Um that's cute. Now, do you want to transition us into the top three list? I I'm I took a pause there to think how can I transition that?

Gavin: 24:44

That's cute, dilf. You know what isn't cute? Our top three list? Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one.

unknown: 24:56

Wow.

Gavin: 24:56

Okay. So this one was mine, and it was definitely inspired by two folks that I know um recently who have basically had to like start over their lives, all in positive ways. Not it's like they just got out of prison or anything like that, but um, which actually would be also a positive change in your life, right? But if you were able to kind of just start completely new chapters in your life, and I realized that in every way, shape, and form, this is basically just how would I live if I didn't have children and had infinite amounts of money, right? Which maybe that's the category is how would you live if you had no children and infinite amounts of money? Okay. So number three for me is I want to go work at Costco.

SPEAKER_03: 25:35

I've been fantasizing.

Gavin: 25:37

I've been fantasizing about the simplicity and the the OCD that would be satisfied constantly by just making sure the sweatshirts are folded and the shelves are stocked. And frankly, I think they have a really good uh baseline pay, and they have not capitulated entirely to bullshit DE anti-DEI stuff. And I just I'm like, you know what? I would like to simplify things and just work at start, what excuse me, work at Costco. So number three for me is that. Uh, number two is um hashtag van life. I just want to like, you know, live in a van and drive all up and down the Pacific Coast highway from Alaska to whatever the Cape of Good Hope is, and back up the Atlantic side up to, you know, Newfoundland and just live the van life and not care if it smells because my underwear and my socks are dirty and that kind of thing. Just van life. Um, and not unrelated to that. In fact, it's basically the same thing, but we're gonna categorize them differently is I want to go live in India and just number one for me is just go live in India and like join an ashram and just kind of do yoga and study, I don't know, the Kama Sutra, and just um just like wear flowing robes all the time and be uh that white dude living in India, completely, you know, um having culturally appropriating uh everything about it and uh but living every every moment to the hilt until basically I'm at the what's that movie called with all the old people in India? Um, the Royal Moroccan Hotel or something like that. Magnolia's Bakery Hotel. You know what I mean, right?

David: 27:22

I want to be colonized. I love how the colonizing spirit still lives deep within you. Do you know what I mean? I want to go live, I want to go be Judy Dench in. I think what you mean is you want to wear a flowing moo and eat Indian food. I don't think you actually want to move to India. Have you seen the videos of those guys getting on the trains? Those trains are like a blood sport.

Gavin: 27:45

Yeah, they totally are. And I I think that would be exciting. Talk about living in the moment, right? Like, will I get onto this train and alive or not? Yeah. And living in that moment, maybe that's what it is. I just want a life where I'm living in the moment.

David: 27:59

How did you interpret this week, David? This was a really weird, strange uh prompt, and I couldn't quite figure it out. But I think I'm saying similar things to you. Because mine is also like wave a magic wand and your life looks different, but also I don't know. Am I am I still 45? Am I still poor? What is it? Okay. So number three for me, crossover. It's kind of like RV van life, maybe cruise life, some sort of like moving home life where it's just me. Oh that kind of cruise life. Yeah, yeah. Like an R, yeah, RV. Oh, yeah, yeah. RV life with cruising in it. Um, uh, cruising at the truck stops, cruising at the bathrooms, all that kind of stuff. Um, number two, I actually mean this. It sounds like a joke, but it's not. I would be a crab fisherman in Alaska. The idea of getting on that boat, and your job is just to pull this basket, put it there, put this basket, sit in, sit in your bunk and suede to like there's something so attractive to my five. By the way, I would last eight minutes on that boat, but I but then you would die. So you would die happy, totally. But I but like I want to be in those like shitty bars um on the mainland, drinking like warm domestic beer and telling stories. It would be such a hot hot item. You know, oh my god, I would be a 10. I'm a 10. In Noma Alaska, I'm a 10. You would be absolutely in 10.

Gavin: 29:24

You would be the fresh meat. You would be the fresh meat, and all of those repressed crab trappermen would be all up and down your shit.

David: 29:31

Oh yes, love it. Um, and number one, this is obvious. Um, I would move to Scotland and direct terrible regional productions of Legally Blonde for the rest of my life.

Gavin: 29:42

Ah, that's no notes.

David: 29:44

No notes at that. Um, okay, so coming back in two weeks from now, um, I wanted to actually revisit a top three list. Now we try to do new top three lists every week, um, but I Which is a struggle, not just for me, but BT dubs. It is so hard. And also, like, what is the top three list? Is it supposed to be ranking things or supposed to be personal? Anyway, but I I want to go back to a thing because I feel like we've gotten a lot of new listeners since we started 120 episodes ago. What are your top three pieces of parenting advice?

Gavin: 30:15

You know what my something great is this week is you me here now. Because even though this episode was going to be a complete, like just we're not doing anything, I thought it was going to be two and a half seconds of us just basically making excuses for ourselves. Boy, did you pull out a bunch of stories about you? And I appreciate that. 120 episodes in, even though this completely overwhelms me every single week, I always get off happier. So thank you, David, for letting me get off happier.

David: 30:49

That's my something great. I love that, like housed inside your something great was a couple of digs at me. And I appreciate that. I feel like it was a nice little turduccan.

Gavin: 31:00

All you do, yeah, it was a turducken of David compliments and um insults.

David: 31:05

Yes. So my something great uh this week is we were at the new house cleaning and doing a bunch of stuff. And I think I told you before in the beginning of the episode, my new school is directly across the street from us. And so I'm inside and I'm cleaning, and the doorbell rings, and I was like, what the fuck? Like, what's going on? Who rings the doorbell? Who does that? Is it Halloween? Yeah. And there's this woman at the front door, I don't recognize her, I don't know who she is. So open the door and I was like, hi, can I help you? Right with that like gay attitude. Like, can I help you? And she's like, Hi, I'm the principal at the school. The one who got me in to the school. And I was like, We love her. Come on in. And she came in the house and she was like great energy, and she's like, I'm walking and I'm trying to get fit and I can't wait to meet you, and blah, blah, blah. And she was just like, I was like, this bitch just popped in my house because she knew where we were. And so that was we were saying to my husband, what a great tone to be set in a new neighborhood where we don't know anybody, we don't know the energy of the neighborhood, we don't know what the school is going to be like. She was like, I got you. I'm cool, I'm here, everything is great. And so, what a great way to kind of get excited about our new house than having the principal just fucking knock on your door and be given.

Gavin: 32:19

That is great, that is great leadership. Um, on her part, like two snaps to that principal for sure.

David: 32:28

Um, and two snaps to us, because that is our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com.

Gavin: 32:38

Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFMVonEverywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge on contractors everywhere. Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, and we'll put you on hiatus next time on another episode of Gatriarchs.