The one with Gaddies brand maker David Morgenstern

This week, David sounds weird, listener is mad at us, David's daughter is gross, moving with kids is awful, we rank the top 3 pieces of advice for a parent, and this week we are joined by brand expert and fellow gay dad David Morgenstern who talks to us about starting a clothing brand for gay Dads, how he likes to create chaos in group chats, and why he doesn't have time for straight people on the weekends.

Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast

Transcript

Gavin: 0:00

And now finally moving on.

David: 0:02

Oh no. I knew it. I knew it. As soon as you said moving on, I said this is not going to be the transition that you wanted. No. Can I reverse it? Back up, please. Yes, gif, yep, cool. And this is Gatriarchs. Oh, wait, how do I say that backwards? Hey, sorry, skids, kids.

Gavin: 0:33

Hey David. Hi. What was that voice? It's been a while. Did you miss me?

David: 0:39

I did not miss you at all. My ears have healed slightly.

Gavin: 0:53

But let's just skip past that and talk about me, okay?

David: 0:56

Sure.

Gavin: 0:56

I'd like to introduce a new segment to Gatriarchs, and it's called How I Was the Worst Fucking Parent on the Planet. Also known as How I Was um I I no, I think that's probably the best title for it, okay? Are you a downword?

David: 1:13

Let's go. Enough of the preamble. Let's just get it.

Gavin: 1:15

Should we have a song? How was I the best, but the worst parent on the planet?

David: 1:22

Alright, that's gonna be it. I'm gonna clip that audio recording and I will play that every time we do this.

Gavin: 1:27

This is how I failed, and the only reason I expose my underbelly like this is to let listener out there know that sometimes you screw shit up and period. That's what it is. You're not a lone listener. So we were getting ready for uh Labor Day weekend. We were having some friends come and visit, right? Really, really close friends might be listening to the podcast, might not. And uh I was with my son um at a soccer game, texting on the sidelines, and my partner was in the car with um our daughter. We were going back and forth, uh texting just a little bit to be like, hey, what's going on next weekend? Have you made plans? No, is it solidified? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And my very, very dear friends um have kids who are my kids' um age mates, right? And there's sometimes some tension with my kids being like, oh God, are they coming again? And it's not that they don't all love each other, it's just like, I don't know, being assholes, right? And but when they're together, they're like they're thickest thieves, they're like siblings. It's basically like they're siblings, right? And you're complaining about your sibling, right? So my partner says, Well, do you think they're coming or not? And I respond, Well, I don't really know. They were a little wishy-washy about it. They might be so because our daughter is just such a bitch to them all the time. David, the text read out automatically into the car.

David: 2:53

Oh my god. This car has been no good to you as far as this out loud. No good, no good.

Gavin: 3:02

No, no good. My my heart is sinking just telling this story again because literally. Your butthole has never been tighter. Never been tighter. Never just by telling the story, just from PTSD. And I I I am not proud of this, and I'm not really happy about the fact that I'm sharing it, but it is a learning lesson for me, and hopefully it's a learning lesson. I turned to the woman next to me who's a very good friend and very sympathetic to just life. And I I sat there panicking for 10 minutes. I did immediately write I am sorry I wrote that and that I used that word. But I'm not sorry about the sentiment, which is true, that you might be projecting out there that you don't want somebody there and consequently they don't want to be around you, right? I mean, that's a life lesson, right? I turn to the woman next to me who's a good friend on the soccer sidelines, and I tell her in a panic and almost at the verge of tears, or rather on the verge of tears, what I had done. And she's like, so I called my son a dickhead to his face the other day. And I'm like, oh, well, I mean, I I don't know. Calling your child a dickhead to their face in front.

David: 4:19

Yep. Yeah, to their face, it's different. But when you do it behind their back and they find out about it, that's hard. That's hard. Oh, I I mean, I don't know how I'm gonna do this when they're older, Gavin. I I can do it now because my kids are young and stupid. I know, I know older.

Gavin: 4:31

Oh, I know, I know, and there are people listening, listener out there knows my daughter and is like, oh my god, Gabin, you're an asshole. And I'm like, yes, I am here to tell you that I am the asshole. Let me what would you do, David, in this circumstance? How would you have uh made it up to your daughter? Any thoughts?

David: 4:51

I think I would have done what you would have done, which is like, I'm sorry use that word. I'm I I was frustrated, but I want you to know that the sentiment is real. You're unkind to them, and that is probably the reason they don't want you to come over. Um, but I would be secretly saying, no, you're a bitch, and I meant it. So I don't know what to tell you. Listen, I thought I thought it's a really good submission. It's a good submission to the I'm a terrible parent club.

Gavin: 5:15

I um so what I did was, I mean, my daughter's going into high school, right? Like, this is I need to deal with this. So so what I did was I thought I went through the whole scenario. Should I buy her a sweatshirt as an apology? I need to demonstrate my apology here and not just use words. Honestly, I felt strongly about it. But then I also didn't want to be like, I'll buy you. I feel so bad, I will buy you a hundred dollar Lululemon sweatshirt right now. Uh, but no, I don't want to associate with you being insulted with, oh, but when daddy's mean, when daddy gets drunk and is mean to me, by the way, I was not drunk. I was not drunk. Okay, to be clear. But like the the idea being there, daddy's mean, and then he buys me stuff. I did not want to make that association. Yeah. So I bought her flowers, actually, and I wrote a card and I said, I should not have used that word. And I am really sorry, and I love you more than oxygen. And and uh this summer you have, you know, it and these are all true sentiments. She made me so proud of her in so many ways this summer when I realized when I was kind of a fly on the wall and found out, oh, she's really like quite mature and and people like being around her and all the things. She's not just, you know, my child driving me crazy at home. So anyway, I wrote a card and and I gave her flowers. And um, I tried to leave the door open for her to come to me and not overdo the over, like, hey, let's talk about it, let's talk about it, let's talk about it, let's talk about it, which you know I would love to do.

David: 6:44

Which is gotta be the majority of your day in that household. Just existing in your household must be gave in desperately to talk things out.

Gavin: 6:51

Just sitting there waiting for somebody to come by so that we can just really beat a dead horse. So, having beaten this dead horse, um, she did make one snide comment about it two days later about like, well, what about what you texted to me in the car? And I'm like, I totally deserve that. And I said, Do you want to talk about that right now? She said, No.

David: 7:13

That that is that is your punishment, is you don't get to talk this out. You have to do it to our our our single listener. Um, and that's all you get to do. That's your punishment. I think you're exactly right. So, David, how about you? I was I also have a submission for the Terrible Parent Club this week. I was driving my daughter to daycare or pre-K3, I guess, which is come on, it's fucking daycare. Um, and my daughter says, Daddy, I want you to smell my butt. And I said, No, not thanks, not interested. And she's like, No, you have to smell my butt. And I, and it was a game at first. Like, she's like, she was like, I'm gonna fart, you're gonna be stinky. And I'm like, ew, I don't like stinky. And we were just like kind of playing, but I can hear her voice, like, no, there's something serious here. Then it gets serious, and then she's like, Daddy, I want you to smell my butt. And I'm like, I'm not smelling your fucking butt. You're not a baby anymore, not smelling poopy diapers. You're three and a half. I'm not smelling your butt. It leads to an all-out meltdown two minutes away from the school because I won't smell her butt. And then I'm dropping off this meltdown child at her new school, and they're like, What's going on? I can't tell her, I can't tell her teacher I wouldn't smell her butt this morning, so she freaked out.

Gavin: 8:36

So um, I also I submit that to the um the terrible parent of the I don't unfortunately I'm I'm much worse than you are, but thanks for trying. Thanks for playing my new game called Terrible Parent of the Year submissions.

David: 8:52

Um, we're also terrible podcast hosts. I don't know. Terrible the worst. Um we took two weeks off um because I was moving and we needed a little bit of a break. First of all, let me tell you about what a two-week break looks like at Gatriarchs. Nothing. All it is is we just keep just working and getting our guests and recording, but in those two weeks where we have a little bit of a break. So uh I moved, but uh, we got we got some listeners who were mad at us. We got some DMs that were like, what am I supposed to do when Gatriarchs is not on the air? I'm like, I don't know, get a fucking. And thank you. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, uh, I we we love our listener, but you know, we are back and um I have moved, um, which is the big news. We had talked about it a little bit in the previous episode that it was coming. Um, and we talk a little bit about our interview today, but um, I have moved uh 25 minutes south of where I was, and you know, we're at new schools now, which has been a whole experience of like, you know, getting into that school, as I told. Um and then also we're not the only gay parents anymore, which is really real fucking annoying. It's yeah, it is annoying because tokenism is fantastic.

Gavin: 10:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

David: 10:02

Like being like the they're the gays, everyone knows us, but we don't know everyone else. You then we sached into the go ahead.

Gavin: 10:09

Yeah, I'm just saying, you you you must feel a way about that. That would suck to not be it was awful the tokens.

David: 10:16

Yeah, no, we walked into our our pre-K like orientation at the school, and there they are. Two other fucking gay people. And guess what else? What a lesbian couple. Well, well, they're allowed, aren't they? So, well, yeah, that's true. Your competition, they're not competing with us, let's be honest. They have chickens and and Melissa. Of course they did, everything else, right?

Gavin: 10:36

But we're they but like did you create did you cruise the other dads?

David: 10:39

I mean, how what was their level of loudness? No, we we of course we chat we chatted with them, we we traded numbers, they're lovely people, but I was just mostly annoyed at their presence. So I was like, don't be like good-looking, cool gay parents in my vicinity because I'm just gonna look terrible. Um, and speaking of, I I don't know if you feel this way, Gavin. I am still under the delusion that I'm a young dad. Like in my brain of brains, people look at me and they go, How could somebody so young have children? Uh-huh. And then what did you have when did you have them when you were 10? And then I see other parents. And I'm like, oh yeah, we're the same age, but then we'll walk by a mirror together. And I go, Oh, I'm not the young dad. I'm I'm the old, I'm the regular aged dad, maybe even on the older side. So I am for sure under that delusion. So, but there's one thing I wanted to tell you about moving to New House, which is, by the way, don't ever do a children. Moving with children and living out of boxes and kids screaming for their name the stuffy or iPad, and you don't know what fucking box it's in, and nobody has clean underwear, and you don't know where to eat, it's a it's a nightmare. But I wanted to tell you that my husband said it was very important to him. He got a rainbow flag, like a little yard garden one, and he put it out right up front the day we moved in. He was like, I want it, I want visibility. I want people to know who we are and what what's here. I am literally moved into an Yeah. I am planting this flag, planting it. I yeah, I but he but he was like, This is very important, visibility. But we are also moving into a like wildly more liberal area than we were in. So it's not like this wasn't necessary, but visibility for you, Gavin. So we have moved, we are here. If I sound different, it's because I'm in a new office and I have not sound treated this office yet, so also get the fuck over it.

Gavin: 12:35

It's just the same bullshit coming out of your mouth, and it sounds the same. So every nothing has changed, dude. Nothing has changed.

David: 12:42

And in our break, I went to LA for a week and I was visiting family, which is weird because I actually really like my in-laws and like my my brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. Like, I love all those people, which I feel like you're supposed to not like a few of them, but I like all of them. They're all really all great.

Gavin: 12:57

Clearly, they don't listen to this, but mom does. So hi, mom, you're still the favorite.

David: 13:01

We love you. My mom, mother-in-law does not. But uh uh uh Erin, my sister-in-law, shout-out, also surrogate to Emmett. Um, she's our listener, also. Um, she was there and we had a blast. Anyway, it was super fun. But being in a house where none of your stuff is where you don't know the house yet, you don't know what drawer stuff goes in, and then you have kids who are demanding of your time and you don't get any time to like see where photos go and where should the mirror go. You just have screaming toddlers asking where their underwear are. Right. Don't ever do it. I'm just saying for for for the future, just send your kids to boarding school for two weeks and then move without them.

Gavin: 13:37

I mean, if you are privileged enough to be able to send them to boarding school for just a couple of weeks, that's a great idea. I mean, uh to do it over again, you obviously would do a thousand different things. Actually, send them away for summer camp for a week while you move would be imagine how cool that would be. You go to summer camp and you come back and you're like, whoa, I'm in a new house.

David: 13:53

Or you don't tell the kids where you've moved to and they just have to figure it out. But you know, you know what has totally taken over our household is K-pop demon hunters. Is this in your world?

Gavin: 14:03

Oh it's in my world, but it I bet it is a slightly generational thing because uh we are definitely in uh I hear it now on the radio. My son hasn't seen it and he doesn't care. Uh but my daughter and I watched it at the behest of well, the entire interwebs and also a colleague of mine who said, I love the movie, I love the movie, it's so so fantastic. So we watched it and it was lovely. And but it I do think that we were post-Frozen, and my daughter was really at the height of Moana, and it took over our worlds. And I bet you know, if we were 10 years younger now, well, not uh eight years younger, it would take over. But tell us, sorry, no tell us how it has taken over your house.

David: 14:46

Nothing. It's just like Frozen and Moana, where it's just like it just hit for whatever reason. I don't think it's the best movie I've ever seen. It's cute, they have cute pop songs like I love soda pop. My little soda pop. Yeah, um, I just love that song. Um, but it is like it's a fine movie, but it is all my children think about, it's all they sing, it's all they talk about. It is mind-numbing. So I'm sure all other dads out there are agreeing with me and they're nodding their head and they're singing their little versions of the K-pop demon hunters. But if you if you have kids between like five and ten um and they haven't seen it yet, they will, and your life will forever change.

Gavin: 15:22

If we were smart, we would capitalize upon this somehow and have our own Gatriarchs. I don't know. We uh we ain't who's got time for that?

David: 15:31

Who's got time for that? We do not have time for that. And you know what else we don't have time for? Do tell. Our top three list. Gatriarchs.

Gavin: 15:39

Top three list, three, two, one.

David: 15:42

Um, this is my list, and this is a list I grabbed from the archives. Um, one of the first top three lists we ever did. I I don't remember what episode it was, but was what are your top three pieces of advice? Like somebody's like, hey, I'm about to become a dad or whatever, and you're like, you know, this is something I know about parenting. And honestly, I don't know much. I feel like every time I think about that, I'm like, what can I give advice on? But then these are three things that I'm like, this is something I actually know.

Gavin: 16:09

Now, wait, we have got to stop and have our intern producer, um, uh Joey um. Joseph Smith. Joseph Smith and go back. Hey, Joe, hey, Joseph! Joseph, can you go back and look at episode three and what we said on probably our very first uh top three list? Can you do that?

David: 16:26

He's Joseph Smith is high at the eagle. Oh, he is. Even in the daytime, he hasn't come back from last night yet. He's one of those people who are at the eagle at 9:45 a.m. And you're like, what where did you get there this morning or last night? Yeah.

Gavin: 16:41

He is still there. Joseph Smith, you're good for nothing, but maybe next time he'll come through for us.

David: 16:46

So, all right. So, my top three pieces of advice as a parent. Here we go. And number three, um, nobody else, and I mean nobody else, no other parent, no matter how many kids they have, knows what they're doing either. So stop punishing yourself.

Gavin: 17:01

Oh, that's a good one.

David: 17:02

Um, number two, when things are going downhill with your children, I'm talking, of course, from young children, when in doubt, add air or water. Oh, yeah. This has been a lifesaver. I remember that one. Just fucking assholes. Force them outside, even if you're just like, we're gonna walk across the street and grab a rock and come back, or put a give them a hose, it changes everything. It's one of the few things that always, always works. Um, and number one, you know what I'm gonna say prioritize yourself. Put your mask on before you assist other people with their masks. You are no good to anybody as a parent if you are not in working condition. Take care of yourself first. I don't mean like don't feed your children if you're tired. But what I mean is take care of yourself first, take care of your husband, take care of your, you know, you are a priority, and then you can get them their iPad.

Gavin: 17:57

Our crossover here is that that's my number number two. I'm not even gonna change it. Right. But notice that it's my number two, not my number one. I didn't make it a top priority. All right. Okay, for me, number three, no second meals. They eat what you eat, do not become a lion item chef. They eat what you eat from as soon as they start eating regular food, just mash up your whatever you're having and put it in a blender and they'll eat it. Just do not become that person and making chicken nuggets for every single meal for them because they don't want to eat what you're eating. Nope. No child. Well, they are not, they are not gonna starve. They will eat what you eat. Um, number two, life is your party that they get to come along on. So that's where I say, that's how I interpret. You are the priority, you get to be fun, they come along with you. Do not change your entire life just for the children.

David: 18:56

I remember hearing somebody say one time, they're joining your life, not the other way around. I was like, oh, love that. Yeah.

Gavin: 19:02

It's nice to come from somebody who is basically spends 60% of his time as a uh soccer Uber, uh, but I feel like I'm in charge, sort of. Uh, number one for me, let them get bored. That's in this world of overstimulation, they have got to figure their way out of boredom or they will be set up for failure their entire lives. So let them get bored. And you know what? I another one did pop into my mind that I'm sure that I said, Hey Joseph! Oh, he's still not back yet. He's still at the Eagle.

David: 19:39

He is yeah, he's up on the screen.

Gavin: 19:42

Yeah, he'll n he will be able to bring out for us. Um he'll be able to bring up the I'm sure that I shared this the last time too. I will never forget. I uh my daughter had not yet been born yet, and I was having a minor meltdown about like, what if I don't recognize a fever? What if I don't know if she actually needs the diaper change? What if I don't know this, that, and the other? And the person reached out to me, put her hand on my shoulder, and she said, You'll know. And you'll your instincts do kick in. Even if you're a gay dad who's never changed a diaper in his entire life, you will figure it out. It's gonna be. Was that Danette Holden? No, it wasn't, actually. It was um Pam.

unknown: 20:19

Oh God.

Gavin: 20:19

Sorry, Pam, I'm forgetting your last name. But um, she was a dresser for me in proceeding. Oh, I know Pam.

David: 20:25

I know exactly who you're talking about. With the long red hair. Yes. Yes. Yes, I know exactly who you're talking about. Um, the shout out to Pam, um, whose name we've forgotten. Last name we forgot. All right. Um listen, that was a really great list. We were really prepared with that. So you're clearly really prepared for next week's top three lists. What is it, Gavin? Quick now, go.

Gavin: 20:43

My inability to do improv is astounding. Yes. Um, I am prepared. And the topic is but on the topic of improv, David, I want to know your top three jokes.

David: 20:59

Okay, our guest this week is one of those just do-it types. And yes, he did used to work for Nike, but that's not why he's one of those. He's one of those just do it types because when he saw a need in the marketplace for a clothing brand for gay dads, he said, Well, why the fuck not me? And then he did it. We all need more of that energy. Yes. So please welcome to the show. The baddie baddie faux fatty, banana fana, bow baddie, me, my mo Maddie, Gaddie, David Morganstern. Hi.

SPEAKER_00: 21:28

David! He's my shimmy master. I know.

David: 21:32

This is an audio platform, but he is gently shimmying his shoulders as to not be too aggressive, but to show us that he's interested. The right amount.

SPEAKER_01: 21:41

That's what I do when I enter all queer spaces. Oh, yes.

David: 21:44

I would appreciate it. Um, well, it is 8 12 in the morning for you, so I know it's early. And we uh we have to ask you, how has your kid driven you bananas today?

SPEAKER_01: 21:53

Uh well, this morning, every parent does things totally incorrectly. Absolutely. This morning, how dare I? I poured the cereal uh the wrong direction.

Gavin: 22:05

Come on.

SPEAKER_01: 22:06

You poured it left to right instead of up to down. Wait.

David: 22:11

Okay. Wait. Little misetiquette. I'm trying to get in his his brain store. Yeah, wait. So you poured it.

SPEAKER_01: 22:18

Tell me how you did it left to right in the bowl horizontally when it should have been poured.

Gavin: 22:24

This is a this is another level of Downton Abbey treatment, but of the help to the upstairs and the downstairs. Like I sort of like serving from the right and clearing from the left, you're only supposed to pour the cereal from oh wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 22:37

And I should have known because maybe a week or two ago, I opened the locks packet incorrectly as well.

Gavin: 22:44

Um that is another level of Oregon bullshit right there. You mean locks is in L O X salmon, right? Correct. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 22:54

Well, it was great. Last um he they're very blonde. And last Halloween we were Goldie Locks and the three bears. So we were the two bears, and then I had a locks packet on his gold shirt. And I felt like I won. And so I uh I felt like you would you would appreciate that. That is that is really clever. I love I love a word punch. I'm working on my breakfast uh orientation.

Gavin: 23:16

You've given us a lot to unpack already.

David: 23:19

Um but it's I feel like for those non-parents or those people who don't have kids out there who listen to stories like this and they think like, oh, these are like cartoony or not real or whatever. Like, these are just the real day-to-day of raising a four-year-old, where like the direction at which you pour something could spell out a good day or a bad day.

SPEAKER_01: 23:42

Yeah. So instead, I just threw all the cereal on the ground and was like, well, great, now it's any direction that you want to do. Now you're a fucking chicken. Go for it, bitch. This is three-dimensional cereal right now. I was playing chess. I was playing chess.

Gavin: 23:56

Good for you. Good for you. Sometimes you need you need to throw your own little gatty tantrum and throw it back in their face.

SPEAKER_01: 24:04

Um, it's we um one thing that always stuck with me is when we were very early on in his life, a nurse said to us, she said, you know, people don't shake their kids because they're bad people. They shake their kids because your kids are gonna make you want to shake them. And it was like I mean, it was like a throwaway line that she said, but it has stuck with me for years. So I put that into the universe for your it's so true, right? She was like, put him in the crib, walk away, put him in a room, walk away.

Gavin: 24:33

To be very, very clear, nobody's endorsing shaking children here. But if you have felt the urge, please understand you are not alone.

David: 24:41

You are not like I don't know of a single parent who has not just gotten to the point of where they just want to throw their kid out the window.

SPEAKER_01: 24:49

There's a lot of like texting my husband, being like, come get your child.

Gavin: 24:54

Because when they're being assholes, they're definitely your child, not mine.

SPEAKER_01: 24:58

Definitely your child.

David: 25:00

God, it's so fucking true. It's so true. And like that, that is one thing that I think a lot of like the like glossy parenting community likes to pretend isn't there, which is like all these magical eye-to-eye bonding moments and not the like I physically want to press your face into the mattress so you stop fucking screaming.

SPEAKER_01: 25:19

Like right now, we're also in like the hitting stage and just the fist cult, like it puts all of these things together and having to take a very deep breath.

David: 25:27

And is there something with like I don't know if you feel this way, guys, or or if it's just me, it can't be just me. But like my husband of the two of us is like the calm, thoughtful, peaceful, nothing can shake him guy. But when I hear his voice raise, so satisfying, it feels so good. Yeah, that's my DNA.

Gavin: 25:48

That's the gratification for all of those listening. If you are the calmer, more mature one of the couple, please once in a while lose your shit for the rest of us because we just need that edification once in a while. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 26:01

Well, my my husband has found his hiding spots in the house. So basically, he has a couple of things where for whatever reason, kiddo has not figured out to look there. That's hilarious. So that's his that's his MO of just I'm going to my spot, leave me alone.

David: 26:17

I love it. I mean, it's usually it's usually I'm pooping in the bathroom. Whether or not you're pooping, I feel like that's a really always a good excuse. Like, I can't come to break up the fist fight going on between you guys because I'm currently pooping when you're really just on TikTok.

SPEAKER_01: 26:29

I have never appreciated having Crohn's more than I do as a parent. Oh, okay. Uh yeah, crones. Daddy's tummy hurts.

David: 26:38

Excellent. Wait, so a couple, so you and I messaged the other day because you had said that you were listening to last week's episode and you were listening to our top three road trip albums. And you said, as you were listening to me say my list, before I said my number one, that InSync's No Strings Attached should be your, or what was your number one?

SPEAKER_01: 26:57

Yeah.

David: 26:57

And then I said it, and we decided we have to kill our husbands and get married to each other. But now I realize you have Crohn's disease. So do I, babe. Crohn's besties.

SPEAKER_01: 27:09

Okay. This relationship could never work because we can't both be in the bathroom.

David: 27:14

Uh no, we we're gonna be rich for whatever reason, so we have bathrooms everywhere.

unknown: 27:19

Great.

David: 27:19

And people helping raise our child.

Gavin: 27:22

Oh wow. That I am I am so glad I was able here to witness it, and I'm not in between it at all because I never want to know about your Crohn's, but I'm I celebrate it. Good for you.

SPEAKER_01: 27:31

Visibility and representation. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Gabin.

David: 27:34

We talk about it all the time. So let's talk about our gastrointestinal system. The swelling of portions of our gastrointestinal system.

SPEAKER_01: 27:42

Like, you look great. I was like, thanks. It's Crohn's.

David: 27:45

It's not Ozempic, it's Crohn's. That's like the news.

Gavin: 27:48

I feel like we've gotten a few good quotes out of this that we need to be able to put on branded t-shirts that co-branded between Gaddies and uh Gatriarchs. So, I mean, actually, let's just jump into it. You created a brand called Gaddies. And what was your why why'd you do it?

SPEAKER_01: 28:06

I'd be at the park or the zoo trying to figure out if the other dads were gay or hipsters.

David: 28:12

Or just waiting for their wives. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 28:14

Or yeah, exactly, or all the above. And just got fucking annoyed by that. And I was like, we need a way to signal to one another who we are and what does that mean? You know, I was like, the bears have the claw tattoo, the nasty pigs have the nasty pigs. So uh, and I was working in apparel at the time, so it was sort of inspired by like how do you use physical product to help build and form connection? And that was part one. Then part two was coming up with the name in the vision and then invented the word gatty or gay daddy, and then turned that into gaddies for the brand. I couldn't believe that gatty was not a word that was used already. Now I'm living every aging millennial's mean girl's dream trying to make fetch happen. Totally making fetch happen. Then you had the idea, and then you had this word, this identity that you could say, like, yeah, I'm I'm a gaddy, that's who I am. And I now get to create connections through physical product, but also use it as a platform to build this gay dad community around the globe, one shirt and hat at a time, in part because I feel most gay dad things, and you all are helping change that. Like most things about being a gay dad stops at the age of eight months old, right? It's all about formation and creating the family, and then it's like the rest is not existent. But it's like, no, like we're we're here. Um, and also really important for this company and brand to be very clear gay, queer dads, not new, right? We have been here as long as as long as the world has been worlding. But what's a little bit new now is there's uh sort of enough of us being able to live authentically around the world that it was sort of ready for for something like gaddy and gaddies.

Gavin: 29:49

Now wait a minute. Wait, what keeps me up at night already? Did you at all have a dilemma between pronouncing it gaddies versus gaddies? Said Gavin, not Gavin.

SPEAKER_01: 30:02

No, but I gay daddies, okay. I love that uh insight into your brain.

David: 30:07

I love I love also that CEO answer that like that is a hard no, but also I love your inspiration. I love the way your brain works.

SPEAKER_01: 30:14

Wait, well, I am I am empathetically direct, right?

David: 30:17

You're never gonna be unclear about what I'm thinking or saying, but Okay, so the when when you told me that back when we did our pre-interview in you know 16 BC, I remember thinking, ah, it was like a light bulb moment because I feel like I've spent, what is this, episode 117, 117 hours on this podcast trying to figure out what the podcast is about. Because initially it was gonna be a gay dad's podcast, and then it was like, no, it's about celebrating the whole life of a gay dad and just the dad part. And I just like, and that is when you said that, I went, ah, that is what we're doing, is that being a gay parent, like you said, is just nonstop focused on the creation of the family. And that's that is your quote, not mine. And it is so true. Like, and and it's because that's one of the hardest parts, right? Like, we can't just, you know, get drunk at the Carrie Underwood concert. So, like, we have to, it's it's a lot of work. But then that 5% of your parenting life is over, and now the other 95% start, and it's kind of like we disappear off the map, other than these like Hamptons, you know, linen shirts, photo shoots in black and white that we see for the rich folk. And it is like we have whole lives after that as gay parents, and it's largely ignored, maybe because it's not as fancy or like wonderful or exciting, but like holy fuck, it is the majority of it.

SPEAKER_01: 31:34

Yeah, and and to be clear, like telling the stories of how you can create a family are so important, and there are people doing that incredibly well, but now there's just room for new stories to tell. So, like in a couple weeks, we're doing a back to school week of content, but that back to school week is gonna be we have a gay dad who is a high school principal, a gay dad who's a middle school teacher, and a gay dad who is a special education consultant talking about how do you engage your school around issues of inclusion. And it was important for me to have older people involved, right? So like you have a high schooler, not just a daycare. Um, but really use this platform to let us talk about what I've been saying is 90% of parenting is the same shit that we can complain about all the time, but 10% of our experience is very specific to being gay or queer families. And let's focus on those and tell and give advice and and talk about that spotlighting experts from our own community.

David: 32:29

Yeah. I mean, I think that's why I get a little frustrated when people will be like, and I think they mean it in an allyship way, but when like straight people will be like, yeah, I mean, gay dads, we're like, we're all it's all the same, right? We're all just the same. And I want to be like, kind of. It's kind of the same. It is literally like the movie Bro. It's just like, kind of, but also it's very different. Dating as gay men is not the same as being straight. It's a lot of the same stuff. We deal with ghosting and texting and sex and all that kind of stuff, but it's also very different. It's the exact same way with gay dads. So sometimes I I get frustrated because I'm like, I don't want you to sweep that 10% under the rug because it's very, very important. I don't want to be whitewashed into just every other parent because every other parent doesn't always go through the same stuff. Even though, like we were talking about at the beginning of the show, dealing with you pouring the cereal wrong is probably, you know, a canon event for most parents.

unknown: 33:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 33:23

But because we're gay parents, ours was I made the cereal yesterday. I sprinkled it with some light pink Gaddi's branding, right? It was sort of above and beyond. And some glitter with the legally blonde cast recording going on in the background. And I'm gonna tie this back to my husband, but you know, in a couple weeks, I'm coming out with a varsity sport themed collection, right? Um very excited. The front, one of the shirts on the front says last or last pick dodgeball, first pick Gaddy on the front. Nice, nice sort of label. But around that, we're gonna have conversations of what does it mean as a gay dad whose now kid is playing in sports if sports was not welcoming for you in your own life experience? And how do you re-enter that space? So, again, like taking and using the product really is a reason to have some exciting conversations and talk specifically about things that are like really unique to us. And my husband is not the sports gay, but like I keep telling him that his favorite thing is going to be a sports dad because he loves nothing more than being better than straight people. And I'm like, you're gonna bring the best snacks, you're gonna be wearing the best outfit, your arms are gonna be bigger than everyone's combined. Like, this is gonna be your moment to shine. And I don't want to go sit in the rain and watch our child kick rocks.

David: 34:38

So I don't know. I I I fully uh am the same way. I'm like, I'm not a sports gay, but I have always I have a son and a daughter, and I've always been excited about one of my kids being, I assumed the boy, but like one of my kids being really into sports and forcing me to be because I would be front row screaming, like I would be the ultimate fan. And then my kid started liking like musical theater and ballet and doesn't like sports, and I was like, oh no, I have a gay who doesn't like sports. So I I still may never get to do sports. And the girl is also not interested, so I was like, damn it. But I I I'm the same way. Like, I want to enter a straight space and completely take it over.

Gavin: 35:17

Yeah, and like that's what we get to do, and that's what we get to do really well, but we have to have those those conversations, and it's uh have a little bit of virtue signaling that you're able to embrace because now you're not intimidated to be on that sports field, or rather the sports sideline, and um, and be the one that all of the moms want to talk to, and all of the dads are intimidated to talk to, but ultimately the good ones riseth to the top, and then you're like friends. And I am that I am that guy, I gotta say, I'm on those soccer sidelines a lot. And um it's I know I'm a token and it's fun. It's fun.

SPEAKER_01: 35:50

Yeah. I think it's also, I don't know how it is for you all, like when you're the only gay family at school, right? Everyone knows who who you are, and people want to hang out with you. And I'm very clear in telling them weekends are not for straights. Like, I have no more room for straight friends in my life.

David: 36:07

You must have sucked this many dicks to hang out with me on the weekend.

SPEAKER_01: 36:10

And you can't keep saying that. I was like, I absolutely can keep saying that because I mean it with all of my heart. I mean it with every fiber of my DNA.

David: 36:19

I feel like gay, I feel like dads that I meet in straight spaces like daycares or sports things or PTAs fall into one of three categories. Um, category three is like you're gay and I'm straight and I hate you and I'm homophobic, and I will distance myself from you, I won't look at you, I won't do that, right? Level two is allyship straight dad. Like, I want, I want to, I want you to know that I know that you're gay and I'm so cool with it, and you should come over and I love like and we're gonna put a pride flag in our yard. And then there's level three, which are the ones who distance themselves from you, but keep peeking at you because they're very fascinated, because they're either gay or they're just fascinated. And I feel like those are the three categories.

SPEAKER_01: 37:01

In the in the Gaddy's Instagram closed circle friends group, um we have some fun. First of all, there's nothing more chaotic than a gay dad's Instagram closed friends stories because it play date, very different play date, play date.

David: 37:17

There's the green circle play date and then the regular play date.

SPEAKER_01: 37:20

Play date to play date, just like the bullshirt. Um, but you know, I'm gathering lots of important data, such as have you been to school and been like, oh, I biblically know that person who is there with their wife and child. Oh my. So we can add you to the closed circle, friends in the case.

David: 37:38

I I I cannot confirm or deny that those have happened while we are recording. However, when I hit the stop record button, we could have maybe a a set a separate conversation to both confirm and deny a Gatriarch's After Dark.

SPEAKER_01: 37:50

UmlyGads?

David: 37:53

Yeah. Nice. No, that's good. That's good. I like that. Uh you're good with the puns. I love it. Now, now, is this your first company you've ever created?

SPEAKER_01: 38:01

Absolutely. There was no part of me that ever wanted to start a company.

David: 38:05

And so now that you have, you've now done it, what have you learned? Like what what what did you totally fuck up or and what did you do successfully?

SPEAKER_01: 38:13

That's a great question. Um, do not waste your money on trademarking until you have things that need to be trademarked. That need to be, yeah. Yeah, that was a big one. Um, I'd say number two, that feedback is a gift and gifts can be returned. So you're gonna get a lot of yeah. Oh, yeah. Uh you're gonna get a lot of advice. And and I think what for me personally, one, like this has forced me to try having self-confidence, which has never been my thing. So we're we're doing that and we're leading with our voice. Nice. Two, people have been really excited about it in a way where they're like, you need to do all of these things, and I get to be like, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_03: 38:54

I don't.

SPEAKER_01: 38:54

So, you know, just because people are telling you things, you don't have to listen to them. I also think feedback is a gift, gifts can be returned, is something I tell myself a lot with my child, where they are providing me feedback and I say constantly.

David: 39:06

You're the worst dad of all time, and I hate you. And you're like, Thank you for your feedback.

SPEAKER_01: 39:10

Yeah, I will be returned. Um, I am not the chosen parent of the two. And so there was about a 14-month period where daddy no was pretty much all my child said to me. Um, and then I'd say the third one is like follow the yes energy, meaning the people that you think are gonna be there for you to support and guide you, they may or may then not. I had people that were like, they're gonna be my person, and they have totally ghosted me and fucking sucked and really hurt. Yeah, and then there have been new people that I've met in this process that have just been so excited and welcoming. And if someone's saying, set up follow up time, set up follow up time. Yeah, people will not offer their time if they don't want to do it, and people will not offer their network up, right? So, David, you and I got connected through Sam and her podcast, and people are not gonna open up who they know if they don't believe. You. So pay attention to who is giving you that that yes energy and figure out how do you both surround yourself with them and use them.

Gavin: 40:07

So speaking of the yes energy though, can you tell us a little bit about what you did at Nike and then what it was that I mean, I know what motivated you. You've already told us why you started the business, but um at the same time, what are the skill sets that you said, well, I know how to do this, so I'm gonna apply this going forward?

SPEAKER_01: 40:22

Sure. So I think a little background, the last couple of years, I was very over straight people, and I just needed to be a good thing.

David: 40:28

We get that we I think everyone has listening has get that a little bit.

SPEAKER_01: 40:32

Yeah. So I knew that I wanted to do something about my two favorite things, being a homosexual and being a dad. Nice. And I wasn't exactly sure what that meant. You know, I I started my career in business, have a business degree, then we'll talk about Nike a little bit. So I was like, oh, organizations. Um, but at Nike, I worked in sort of two major bowls. Number one was up and down the entire supply chain. So from the moment of manufacturing a product to delivering it and working with our marketplace partners or the big retailers. So I understood that whole side of it. And then I worked in our apparel division where I ran all the process and strategy. So I worked with the design team, the merchandise team, the people making the product, our brand team, our marketing team. And so I knew how to do the entire 360 of building and creating a brand. I didn't know how to do any of it. So that's been the massive learning, right? Like I know that I know the things, I know where my backgrounds are, and then I know the big giant white box where it's like making a product, Adobe Illustrator, what is that? Um, so it has actually been starting a company where I understand everything, but functionally, totally brand new. And that's been a lot of the big challenge where like things take me 15 times longer than they would if I knew what I was doing. Yeah. But I am learning and I, you know, someone in Europe went on the internet the other day and looked at something that I designed and said, yes, I want to give you money and I want to pay for that. And I don't think that feeling will ever go away as I talk to other creatives who like make physical products. Uh, there's if your one listener that you have is Sam in Atlanta, yeah, and you bought our summer flamingo tank top in February, and you were my first non-family or friend customer, I'm never gonna forget you, Sam in Atlanta. You will forever have a special place in my heart. That's a great feeling.

David: 42:18

It's so true. I say it all the time. Like every time I discover somebody listens to this podcast, I'm like, wow. I do joke about like, oh God, stop listening. But it is like there is a heartwarming thing to be like, wait, remember the guy who emailed us from Jersey, the country? And he's like, hey, stand of the show. I live in Jersey, but not that the country. And I looked at our download sets, I was like, there he fucking is. Yeah. One one subscriber in Jersey. Holy shit. And how cool that is. And you're like, oh, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01: 42:44

And I did have my first instance where someone messaged me and I was like, this was the goal. They were at a park and they saw someone wearing the Gaddy hat and they were like, oh, that's me, and went over and talked to them.

unknown: 42:54

And I was like, oh man.

SPEAKER_01: 42:56

So that that is a really cool point.

Gavin: 42:58

If I can add on to that, just the day that just the day that we had our um uh gay dads meet up in the picnic uh picnic in the park in Central Park a couple of weeks ago, I was still wearing my Gatriarch shirt later, further downtown at another playground, and a dad just kind of sidled up to me and he was like, Hey, Gatriarchs, I feel like I should know about that. And being able to And then they blew each other signal. I was gonna say broad daylight broad daylight. What kind of play date did it turn into? What's your parenting life like?

SPEAKER_01: 43:28

Yeah, so I think when you envision parenting, you think about like the baby cuddles and the snuggles, and we have the most independent child that has ever existed. He did not hold my hand until he was almost four years old. And I will say that first time that he held my hand, it was like the world ended. And my husband would always make fun of me because every time we'd be out, I would put my hand down there because I was like, one, and then he would just slap it away. Interesting.

Gavin: 43:56

Just Melania trumping your hand. Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 43:59

Wow. Okay. So it was like a double ding every time because I'd be like, maybe this is the time, not the time. Wow. And then one time he just took it and just held it. And you know those parenting moments you're like, the world needs to stop because I don't know. It was that I was like, what is happening? Yeah, yeah. And then two weeks ago, we were sitting down, he took my hand and put it in the middle of his hands. Wow.

David: 44:25

Things are progressing with you guys. Guys, for those of you out here as not a parent, it just takes four short years for you to get one hand hold. And that's that's the success of parenting, really.

SPEAKER_01: 44:34

I would also say, like, key to my point. So my grandfather is my best friend, and and he's 100. And I think for me, introducing into his great grandchild was this lifelong dream. And then the first time that they met four years ago, and just the heart exploded with this is all I've ever wanted. And we were just back in Cleveland where I grew up visiting him. And um, our kid is what they call an active child at daycare, aka does not stop moving. Um, but my grandpa, his great grandpa, is the only person that he'll cuddle with. So he will go and just sort of sit in his lap, and everyone else else in the family is like, well, fuck you, but also adorable. Um, but also fuck you, because we don't get any of that. So those moments are just like the best. And you know, I think my husband and I, we talked about being parents on our second or third date. Uh uh, fun fact when we met, we met in New York City, and on our fifth date, my husband informed me that he did not live in New York City. And that was a fun adventure of uh the dishonesty of gaze.

Gavin: 45:40

But here we are, years later. How much time sp passed between the first date and the fifth date that you were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, you don't live here? Uh not that much.

SPEAKER_01: 45:49

Okay, great. It was it was probably an every other day situation. Great.

Gavin: 45:53

In other words, over the span of a week and a half. It's not like for six months you were dating and you realized, wait, wait, wait, jiggle, what? Why do you have so many jet blue points?

SPEAKER_01: 46:02

You're like, I've been flying back and forth every day. And then, you know, him, he was he was in New York for the the summer, and him and his cousin had been keeping a spreadsheet of all of their summer adventures. Good for them. Um I love an XLS document of any type. Yeah, I skyrocketed to the top of that in many different categories. Wow. And here we are. Yeah, we're we're very data-driven household. Uh, the best part is like I have the MBA, I did all this like financial services, all this business, and now my husband wants to talk to me about numbers, and I'm like, I'm a creative now.

David: 46:37

That is don't do numbers, honey. You just talk to the suits, honey. I don't you talk to Tamiyan accounting.

SPEAKER_01: 46:42

I do vibes, I do feels like I want it to feel like this.

David: 46:46

Make that happen and give me seven figures. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 46:49

If statements, I don't know her. Not part of my healing journey from Catholic.

David: 46:55

She sounds, she sounds like a straight on the weekend, and I'm not interested.

unknown: 46:58

No, no.

SPEAKER_01: 47:00

It's also funny. I when I was back in Cleveland, it was cool, I got to do like a local news interview about about Gaddi's, and we're talking, I'm talking with the the news anchor beforehand, and you know, she's like, So what's your what was the inspiration? And I was like, Well, I'm just I'm really fucking over straight people. And she was like, Well, straight people are the ones listening to this particular and you're like, I don't give a shit. Sorry. Let's think about how we might reframe, how we might reframe that. And you're like, I fucking hate straight people.

David: 47:26

Does that work for you, Patricia?

Gavin: 47:28

Yeah, yeah. Because you were given the feedback and you returned the feedback.

SPEAKER_01: 47:32

So I said, here you go. And I didn't even re-gift it, right?

David: 47:36

I just straight up said Wait, speaking of re-gifting, speaking of regifting, I talked about this prior to you uh joining us, but um, I am moving and so stuff is coming out of closets and going into boxes or whatever. And we have because you had 489,899 additional listeners to buy your dream house. That is correct, my dream like house. But there is we have our we have our like gift drawer, right? When we get gifts for birthdays or whatever, and we're like, A, our kid doesn't want it, or B, we don't want our kid to have it. More importantly, they go into the gift drawer and then you know, we re-gift them for whatever. Well, my son comes down here, he's not allowed in the basement. He comes down here and now he's discovered this whole world of fucking new presents, and he wants to open every single thing under all the most important presents in the world. So I'm totally fucked. So if I'm invited to a party, I'll have nothing to give.

SPEAKER_01: 48:24

A really wise daddy once said that uh you should not have all the toys out and they should be hidden, and then you bring out one toy at a time.

David: 48:32

That sounds like a really wise podcast that everyone should subscribe to.

SPEAKER_01: 48:36

We're also the family where like when we get invited to birthdays, I'm like, to be clear, we will be bringing a piece of paper that my child colored on that I wrote happy birthday on. End of list. End of list.

David: 48:50

But that's why we re-gift, because I feel like I'm I'm saving the planet a little bit. You sure are not wasting any, I'm pulling, I'm calling shit from my kids' toys, which I love, and then I'm giving free things and I look generous, but really it's a net negative.

SPEAKER_01: 49:03

So we we um people are like, what's your key to being a great parent? Uh the key to being a great parent is having awesome lesbian mom neighbors. So we have lesbians across the street with six kids. Whoa! Yeah, plot twists. When we heard there were new neighbors and they had six kids, we're like, okay, like what religion are they? Like, you know, like for sure. And then they showed up and it was like, whoa.

Gavin: 49:25

They just have six kids, they're just lesbians with six kids. That is the most Oregon thing.

SPEAKER_01: 49:30

Yeah, that is super Oregon. Do they have chickens too? Thank God no. But only because they don't have a backyard big enough, they do talk about it. They did ask if they could use our backyard as the community garden, and I said, no.

David: 49:42

Hard no. I love lesbians, but they they there's a cap. Do you know what I mean? Like at some point when they start talking about chickens or community gardens, that's what I'm saying. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to stop you there.

SPEAKER_01: 49:50

You know, our house is full of so much kid stuff, and we've purchased none of it. None of it. I also say, and I did end up making one rainbow shirt because I was like, apparently, people like them. Like, we're not the ones pushing the rainbow agenda because every present that people buy for us, they get the rainbow stuff. And they're like, oh, this sort of David, to your point earlier of you're gay, you just want the seven.

Gavin: 50:14

So I just want to say it's not us pushing the agenda, it is also the world is full of rainbows anyway, and they're just naturally it's in our DNA, and all kids love rainbows. And so, I mean, hey, just like it's for everybody.

David: 50:27

But I also I feel like uh not to go to a totally different place because we have to close out in a second, but like I feel like sometimes people will be like hey, I'm done talking to this person.

SPEAKER_01: 50:34

I have things to do.

David: 50:35

Yeah, no, well, like like I have I have other things to do, if you know what I mean, before we started recording. No, but uh, I I I feel like I've had listen, we could go into like Trump family members, but I've like had Trump family members say, you know, David, I I I I I love gay people. That's not what I was like, do you think that's the only thing I vote on? Do you think like if Trump was like pro-gay and Kamala was anti-gay, that I wouldn't still vote for Kamala? What are you talking to me about? I am you know what I mean. I'm not like this, but I feel like sometimes he's like, oh, you're gay, you like rainbows, or like you're gay, you know Steve, right? Gay Steve? That's like well, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 51:08

Well, the other best part is, and I don't know about you all, like, I'm in several group chats where I'm the only gay dad, and causing chaos in those is my favorite. Most of those are with people I've known since I was 10. And every day I'm just like, Did you do anything to help your children? Or you are so like back to gifts. It's uh I'm always every year, I'm like, all right, like what are the kids getting for, you know, let's call it the holiday season.

Gavin: 51:30

And they all just write back, Well, I'll learn when they open up the gifts on, you know, and you are the one, you are the ambassador trying to make the world a better place and less lazy with its toxic lazy masculinity.

SPEAKER_01: 51:42

Very good at saying, like, they say men are trash a lot, so I have done a good job of work, right? And they'll even respond to one another now when one of them says something very trash. They'll just write, men are garbage can emoji. Nice. And I feel like I've done my job.

David: 51:59

You have done your job. And I feel like it's always fun and like to be the only gay in a like an all-male chat. It's always fun to drop in like a Nene Leaks gif every once in a while. And boy, do they love it? A death drop drag queen. Like just every once in a while, like a like a level A gay gif.

SPEAKER_01: 52:14

You know what I mean? I just talk about I just talk about gay sex, and like there are definitely two or three in there, and I understand how uncomfortable that makes them. And it makes me even more. Which is the source of your joy, is their own of them and their wife have recently discovered prostate play, so he's on this new journey and is trying to tell the other.

Gavin: 52:34

And now he's at it, he's he's uh he's been converted and he's an evangelist for it now. That's great. And this is all thanks to you.

David: 52:40

Straights are consistently 15 years behind gays culturally, consistently straits are now just discovering polyamory and open relationships.

SPEAKER_01: 52:48

Yeah, I'm like, babe. What we've been the other part is there's um one of my buddies, love him to death, hate some things about him, but love him to death. He's like, I want to wear a Gaddy shirt, but people are gonna be so mad when I'm not, you know, a gay dad. And I'm like, bro, no one is gonna think you're a gay dad. Like, I am happy to talk to you about adjustments to your style, your personality, your oversized South Park t-shirt is not, it's not ringing gay dad for me.

David: 53:19

I don't know if it's the math is not math. The three inches are below the knee on your shorts, and that's already, we're already at a problem area. Um, I we are running late, but I don't I don't want to let you go because you're so fun and I'm obsessed with you, but I want to make sure we get in. Last question, which we gotta hear it. Tell us what's your what's your parenting badge? How'd you earn it? What's what's what happened when everything went wrong?

SPEAKER_01: 53:43

Kiddo was maybe like 16 or 17 months, like so old enough that they're walking and doing things, and they had started slamming their door. And so they were going into their bedroom, and you know, I'm like, hey, yeah, please don't slam your door. And they get in there and they turn at me and they're just like eye fucking me without blinking, closing the door, and then the last five seconds slams it shut. And I have never been more terrified in my life.

David: 54:10

I mean, that's prison style. He showed you who was running that like wow, that cell block is owned by him and nobody else.

SPEAKER_01: 54:19

He said the Taurus energy is here, and we and from I was like, well, fuck me. And that vibe has continued from there. So that is definitely a memory that is seared in my brain. I also want to say one last thing because I'm gonna take two because that's what I do. Um, what I have learned is that flying as a gay dad is the most elite airline status that you cannot buy. Oh because queer flight attendants and all flight attendants, obsessive.

David: 54:53

Well said. Especially if your kid is very, very like a baby. You are you are such a level above business class.

SPEAKER_01: 55:00

It is yeah, like even though you're everyone else is on on insert whatever uh the airline, and we're flying like first class, an A. 100%.

Gavin: 55:11

I wish those are those are experiences I wish I could go back and uh and reclaim because I was fairly recently flying with my kids who are now, frankly, young adults, more or less, and I did not receive that elite status, despite the fact that I saw the flight attendant with his pride flag, you know, on jet blue or whatever, and kind of roll my eyes at the capitalist um exploitation and at the same time say, Hey, good representation. Thanks, man. And I I did not get anything from that. I think he just thought, frankly, that I was not a gaddy, but just a daddy, a tired old man who was confused about what he was actually saying to the flight attendant, frankly.

David: 55:49

I remember flying home with our daughter and she was three days old. And we were, of course, you know, in a row of three, sitting next to a stranger in the very back of a you know, United flight. But I remember there being like the flight attendant connection, and suddenly on our trade table would just exist like ice cream. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Ice cream exists on an airplane? Because I've never fallen first class. I had no fucking clue. It was champagne, it was ice cream. He was just, he couldn't shower us with more gifts to the point where like I didn't have any more room on my tray, and I had to start saying, we're good on the rum and cokes, we're good on the champagne. But did you know they have ice cream on airplanes for the rich people in the front?

Gavin: 56:29

I really want to have a flight attendant as a guest on Gatriarchs to help us understand how best to use that.

David: 56:35

So if you are a flight attendant out there and you are a listener, please reach out. We want to have you, whether or not you're a parent or not, we want to know how do we how do we make it happen? How do we make this treatment happen?

Gavin: 56:45

But speaking of making things happen, how do we all fly our gaddies flag, David? Please tell us where we can find all of your goodness, especially the shimmying.

SPEAKER_01: 56:54

Amazing. So we are at www.h-e-y, g A D D I E S dot com, hey gaddies.com. So http colon forward slash forward slash w okay, got it. Okay. And then we are on Instagram at H-E-Y, G-A-D-D-I-E-S as well. Come get us. We just uh we just had some fun leather-inspired products come out because news flash desire doesn't go away when you become a parent.

Gavin: 57:21

Hell yeah. And how do we get to slide into those DMs of the private Gaddies chats on IG?

SPEAKER_01: 57:28

Send us a DM. One last story that you didn't ask for. Um I don't have personal Instagram, so I did not have Instagram before I started this. And I found a dope, you know, I found that the handle, and then the next day I had a call with a 75-year-old gay dad who is a longtime apparel executive. He's since become an amazing mentor of mine. We're on the call, he's like, What's your Instagram? And I'm like, uh here. And then he goes, Okay, I just sent you something. But I had never used Instagram before, so I didn't know where the DMs were. And so I was like, Oh, I didn't get it. And then he was like, I sent it to you again. I was like, I didn't get it. And then after the call, I Googled, where are DMs? And then I went in and sent him back a thumbs up emoji being like, Got it.

David: 58:08

Learned. I love that you Googled where are my that is like probably my if I looked at my mom's like Google history, it's shit like that. It's like, how do I find my DMs?

Gavin: 58:18

Thank goodness there are answers out there for those of us who need to find to Google the DMs.

SPEAKER_01: 58:22

I did the DMs, we'll add you that close circle. This is where all the gay dads share their thirst traps and all the important things. Love it, love it and come be part of the community. Thanks, David.

David: 58:30

You have been a pure joy. Thank you for coming by. This has been a long time coming. We've been trying to do this for months, and I'm so glad you're here. And uh yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 58:37

Thanks for having me.

Gavin: 58:40

So shockingly, I've been so excited to talk about who I call Mirror Boy as a something great for a couple of weeks now. Uh, in part because we've been on a hiatus, and so I've had time to think about this, but I won't be ready next week. But there's this guy on Instagram whose name is um the Daniel Kaufman. Do you know this guy? No. Oh, yes, with the mirrors. Yes. Yes, the mirrors. I just like to call him mirror boy, and it's this hilarious guy who is living his life doing lip synks into his what he calls his grandmother's vanity with one of those. I grew up with one of those mirrors where you can pull in the right and the left and look at the back of your head and think, at age 16, am I losing my hair? And he does these lip syncs to first he did um it's raining men, and it was just so funny that it has personal meaning for me too, because I was in a show where we did it's raining men, and there were three singers, blah, blah, blah, blah. But um, and he just does this lip sync pretending he's a trio of, you know, sometimes women, probably sometimes men too. He just recently did the K pop demon hunters song Golden. And it just I mean, I frankly think he's a little I hopefully he'll be a guest one day, so I won't be criticized for saying he's a little extra. I kind of want to direct him and turn it down just a little bit, but he is having so much pleasure doing. The his shoulders and his his head pops and the mirrors and everything, it just makes me so happy. And I think that um mirror boy, again, aka Daniel Kaufman, the Daniel Kaufman is really something great.

David: 1:00:15

What about you, David? Okay, so my assumption earlier we were talking about my new house and moving and everything. And one of the things I realized that I didn't know I needed, and now I know I need is carpet. So my something great is my new my old house was all hardwood folders, but they are original from like 1910. So you couldn't breathe, you couldn't you couldn't breathe without hearing. So there was no secrets in the house. You could hear everything everywhere. Anytime anyone took a tiny little step, the whole house shook. In this house, everything is either tile or carpet, which is kind of gross, like old lady carpet. It is silent as fuck. So when I get up in the morning and I walk around or I have to go do something, even if I walk out of the city, you don't wake the kids up. I don't wake the kids up, and they've been sleeping in later, I think, because of it. Because I get up at 5 or 5:30 and I know they hear me getting coffee or watching TikTok videos. Now they don't hear shit and they sleep till 7. So my something I carpet.

Gavin: 1:01:16

I completely missed the entire point of that because of the 5 a.m. wake up by choice. And that is our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com.

David: 1:01:30

Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at David FMVonEverywhere, and Gavin is at GavinLodge on nothing. Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, and we'll sneak up on you next time on another episode of Gatriarchs.